Fuzzy in the Head

Every day it’s something new. Today I’ve been trying to attend and lead meetings, dealing with irritated people, and handling email/messages, but my head seems to have inserted a fuzzy barrier between the brain and the world. I’m just all fuzzy, buzzy, or I don’t know, maybe wuzzy.

Wooden, that’s it. My head feels wooden. And her is some real wood stained to resemble the luxury vinyl. The wood and stain will be on the stairs and doors at the Pope Residence. Nice.

Are any of you going through periods like that, where you know you have to do something, but you just draw a blank? Once I get going, I’m fine. I’ve managed to get my meetings done, respond to requests, and review some content today, but each time I switch to a new topic, I space out. It took me FOUR tries to get a meeting on my calendar where it was supposed to go! Geez!

I took a walk around the block and that helped for a while. I guess I just need to walk in circles in between activities!

Here’s my new boyfriend, a slim water heater. We will finally have hot water in an office!

At least there’s some good news. Kathleen determined it’s safe to see my sister again, so I got to see her today. I guess two weeks have passed since…something, I don’t know what. I do know she’s wearing her mask and not going out so much now, so maybe we all have made it past some quarantine milestone.

Honestly, I think it takes a lot of energy (psychic and physical) just to keep on doing what needs to be done, with the underlying fear, dread, worry, or anger (depending on your viewpoint) that the shelter in place guidelines bring out.

Perhaps I need more yoga. Image by @lelia_milaya via Twenty20.

Listening to the news can be more than I can take. This morning they were playing a montage of dire headlines about the stock market and unemployment, and I just pulled to the side of the road and looked at the sunshine on trees for a few minutes. When the guy on the news keeps chirping, “Yes, it’s bad; it’s the worst it’s ever been; it’s something to tell your grandchildren about,” your motivation to head into the office and listen to the CEO tell you how great your software company is doing (because OUR clients aren’t restaurants and oil/gas businesses!) becomes less. Hmm, maybe that’s just me.

Well, darn it, I think I ranted again. I got through a WHOLE day with no rants, though. Here, look at one of our copper ceiling tiles. That’s cheerful.

On my walk, I stopped by the Pope Residence and got to see a new ceiling tile sample.

How are YOU?

If You Need Help

Here in Blogland, one of my friends has had an upsetting experience. She has a frequent commenter who leaves unusual comments, which she always reads and accepts. We all know some “nonstandard” people we care for deeply, or are nonstandard people who are glad people care for us. And we are all challenged by life from time to time, if not often.

This morning’s fog has been with me all day.

Today, out of the blue, the frequent commenter on my friend’s blog posted that they were going to commit suicide. Wow, that cry for help went to someone who didn’t know who or where it originated. What to do?

My fellow blogger is pretty smart, and she also contacted WordPress for advice. Then, she gave the commenter the number for the national suicide hotline and the URL to hotlines outside the US:

 1-800-273-8255
and
http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html

important!

All of us fans of the blog also reached out to let the commenter know that we do care. I think we have all been touched by suicide and feel empathy and love for people in crisis. We all hope this blog reader has found help.

I hope the fog has cleared for the person who reached out.

These are hard times for many of us. But we need each other. If you need help, use these resources, reach out to a real-life friend by phone, text, or in person, and remember you are valuable, just as you are.

Self Aware Means Self Care

Last week I was in a mental vortex, tizzy, or something. I’m so glad I was aware that something was amiss, and that the only person who could do anything about it was ME.

So, what kind of self care can I do? Can you do it, too?

Exercise

This guy could use some yoga!

I realized yesterday that I hadn’t done any yoga in over two weeks, maybe three. Between work getting hectic and taking a week off, I was feeling sluggish and stiff.

I’ve gone to the class at work twice this week, and I can really tell it, both physically and mentally. I’m a lot more centered and my muscles feel well used, but good.

Continue reading “Self Aware Means Self Care”

Grateful for Insights

I was feeling pretty crummy today. I guess grief hit me hard.

This Horace’s duskywing butterfly reminds me of how things get better no matter how dark it is

I asked my Facebook community friends to share things that brought them joy recently, thinking it might help. I was smart. It did help. I highly recommend reaching out and asking for help when you need it. It will remind you that people ARE good.

If you’re my Facebook friend, check out my post asking for joyful moments. All the happy babies, cute pets, fun stories, and nature observations remind you of all the beauty and love around us.

Sample cute baby, the amazing Ripley, who is getting her first teeth

How I’m Doing

Grief is hard, even when you intellectually know all about how it works. I hadn’t cried in so long that I couldn’t recall the most recent time. So I’d forgotten how much it takes out of me.

Being on Prozac for the last couple of years has helped me a lot, but I can see how it’s separated me from expressing some emotions. They’re there, but not all on top of me. It helps me from drowning in my empathic tendencies. But yow! When something breaks through it has physical consequences!

This mystery plant never bloomed last year, but it came back! Plus, lots of basil is coming back from last year’s plants

I have had the strange headache I used to often get. It feels like something gently squeezing the sides of my head. And I forget to breathe and end up gasping. That’s annoying. My words don’t come out well and I have trouble swallowing. Ooh, and let’s not forget the chest pains, my old friends! At least the weird neck tingling that used to really bother me hasn’t kicked in.

So, those are all my anxiety symptoms I used to live with every single day. How did I manage? How do others manage? I sure feel sympathy for them. If you have anxiety and are functional, you have my admiration.

This gerbera daisy got knocked back hard in the cold winter. It looks like a new plant now! I will also recover

I’m guessing I’ll feel better soon. Grief is normal and can knock you down. Soon the grief will bloom into love and warm memories of our canine friend, Brody.

The photos are all of my plants that have resurrected themselves after the winter.

I actually thought squirrels had murdered this poor plant, or the cold had killed it begonias are hardy, like me, I think!
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