What does “having it all” mean to you? Is it attainable?
I’m no longer even thinking about having it all. I just want enough. I want my family safe, a supportive community, a comfortable home, and enough to eat. I guess having it all would be all the above plus access to healthy food, natural beauty, and animal companions. Yarn, too. And books.
Alfred is glad to be our animal companion.
I have these things. I’m very privileged. I want these things for everyone in the world. It’s attainable but not with the distribution of wealth around the world. What a frustrating situation. I’m glad there are people smarter than me trying to find ways to change our oligarchy. What I can do is help others when I can. My job makes that easier than it once was. I’m grateful.
Truly, it’s only really having it all if “all” is available to everyone, no exceptions. Even people we don’t like.
Humor break. Many of these mushrooms are coming up right now. From a distance it looks like a field of tampons.
I’m not up to writing much about today. The highlight was killing plants, so that tells you something. But before I eliminated the growth in the pool patio, I did my best to rescue as many portulaca plants from the racks between stones as possible. I think some will make it.
Why do I hold my phone dear? It is my memory. It contains all my photos, all my communication with friends, access to my memories in the blog…and yes, I can get to all those things from my laptop. Yuck. I think I hold some bits and bytes or whatever cloud storage is made of. That’s really depressing. What else do I hold dear? Things made by my loved ones. My mom and stepmom’s art. Dad’s woodcraft stuff. Gifts they gave me. Things that tie me to them.
Mom painting
New thought: I’ve started letting myself write in incomplete sentences! They’ll soon be taking away my Grammar Police badge. My take is that the incomplete sentences are not as unpleasant as those two blogs I dictated and then was too woozy to properly review. Poor Sue had to endure proofreading that. I don’t pay her well enough for that! (I do not pay Sue; she’s just nice.)
You’re under arrest for omitting verbs!
Another part of the phone I love is the camera. I was at a Master Naturalist outing at my friend Carolyn’s place, which I’ve showed you before. I got some images I really liked there. I don’t need to show you all 125 species or 25 birds I recorded, but I want to share a few for those of you who always want more nature pictures.
Purple Pleatleaf (Alophia drummondii)
This one was new to me. It’s an evening primrose that grows five feet tall. Wow.
Four point evening primrose (Oenothera rhombipetala)
We also saw lots of animal life. There was more than I expected, especially the suspiciously friendly raccoon. But it’s harmless.
Eastern PhoebePhoebeArtsy catfishOriginal- photo by T BrickeyRocky likes sunflower seedsSwamp rabbitSweaty humanBoss squirrel Common checkered skipperCommon whitetailPipevine swallowtail Dusky blue hairstreakRed harvester ants
Other animal news? No one’s come looking for Benny. He’s still over here trying to hump Carlton.
I do know many people who have a large a hard time balancing their work and their home life. It’s really easy to check your email before or after your hours of work or just check to see what’s going on in the work chat. Or maybe, just maybe, you’ve got all sorts of ideas and you want to get them down before you forget them. I get it. Work just intrudes on us no matter how hard we try not to let it.
Mr. Bullfrog wants to know if you can tell I tried dictating this post. I sure can. Yuck.
The good news is I’m really lucky. I’m a contract worker and have been for most of my working life. That means I’m only supposed to work 40 hours a week, and I’m only going to get paid for 40 hours a week, and no one expects me to put in extra time just because, you know, I’m getting paid the big bucks. While it’s true I don’t get paid vacations or paid holidays, I do get to stop after eight hours a day. Plus, the way it is right now I am working in Pacific time that gives me time in the morning to enjoy birds or sit and enjoy coffee or hang out with the horses. And there’s still enough time in the evening to do my chores, walk around and see what’s happening, especially in the summer when there’s lots of daylight. So, yeah I work when I’m working and I don’t work when I’m not working. That seems to be the best way to balance your work and your life.
I’m glad I have both work and home life. Each is important.
I’ve been thinking about other balances today. Some friends of mine are going through some hard stuff. If you have a moment, think of my friend Anita, who has lost a long-term animal, Friend, and some other folks, I know who are having trouble with their families and have no option, but to just get through it. That’s hard to get past. Things will swing back into balance, though sometimes it takes quite a while.
And it’s hard to see past all the distractions to find the positives.
Not dwelling on what’s bad and not only thinking about the good things like some sort of Pollyanna person seems to be the best way to keep a balance. That’s why I like living in the moment and noticing the small things that happen. Out here at the ranch we are going to see life and death and everything in between, but it helps us remember that that’s all part of life and all to be treasured.
Like Gulf fritillaries. All are ephemeral treasures.
Here is a bonus funny story from the day. The UPS man came as he often does right before I was supposed to have a meeting. The dogs were barking and barking and barking. Once again, it wasn’t the UPS man that they were barking at oh no. There was a squirrel on the front porch. All I know is that I heard a yelp and Alfred was limping. The squirrel disappeared. UPS man hopefully pointed out. Hey there’s a squirrel on your front porch. I agreed.
I took all the packages and things inside and figured this squirrel was gone and really hoped it wasn’t hurt. Naturally my coworker felt the need to point out to me that squirrels don’t usually do weird things like run up on the front porch so maybe it was sick and giving my dogs rabies or whatever. Thanks Keaton.
My meeting with Keaton lasted about an hour so I went outside to see if I could find the squirrel. Kathleen also went outside a couple of to see if she could find the squirrel. She never noticed it but I spotted a little fuzzy tail, hiding behind a storage container on the porch. There was no way a dog could get to it. But it didn’t look like that squirrel was planning on going anywhere anytime soon, either. I checked on it two or three more times and one time I saw it a little foot sticking up and another time I saw a little nose. It was so cute.
That’s its little head.
Finally, when Lee was feeding the dogs, we locked the outside door so the dogs couldn’t get out and Kathleen and I managed to move the big container the squirrel was hiding behind. The minute that space was opened the squirrel took off like a rocket. It was not hurt. We were relieved. I’m also relieved that the vet comes on Wednesday and she’ll let me know if any of the dogs look like they’re developing rabies. Alfred is no longer limping and no one else seems any worse for wear. I did find it funny that none of the dogs were smelling the squirrel where it was hiding. Maybe squirrels have some sort of odor disguiser in them. I don’t know.
It was real windy today and last night but the new fig tree made it. I’m happy to say I’ve had a whole day with a fig tree. Every day with a fig tree is a good day, because my last fig tree died a horrible death when many many grasshoppers attacked it. This is not a grasshopper year, though, it’s a mud dauber year and mud daubers do not care anything for trees. Yay.
It’s still here!
All right. You all have a good work life balance yourselves, and I will probably be back tomorrow.
PS: I texted my boss right after I finished writing this post. Not very good at doing what I say I do, am I?
I don’t think anyone I know hasn’t made sacrifices, mainly since I’m no longer hanging around with people who think of no one but themselves. I’m also fairly sure that many sacrifices have positive outcomes. For example, the sacrifice I made to stay home with my sons when they were young ended up leading to meeting so many lifelong friends and my career path. So maybe it wasn’t a sacrifice; it was a good decision.
Maybe I sacrificed a dream to send Drew away, but we are all calmer now.
That’s the thing. Most of the “sacrifices” I’ve made no longer bother me. I honestly don’t feel like dwelling on them. One thing is I wish I had been able to travel overseas when I was younger. But the money was needed for other important things, like college educations and helping out family members. And now that we might have the means to travel to other countries, Lee won’t fly.
If I’m home, I can see when new plants bloom. Violet Ruellia has started.
Not traveling as much lets us invest in our home, though. I’m looking forward to some of the improvements we’ve been discussing, like finishing the pool house and getting the water tanks working. Admittedly, getting more grass in the horse pastures means fewer spectacular wildflowers, but I can sacrifice some of them if we can get native grasses.
We have to save some for the butterflies, like this variegated fritillary.
Everything’s really okay. We can each sacrifice something for the good of us all, at least here. Finding acceptance of how things are has truly made my life happier.
We planted the fig tree in time for more rain. I just hope the wind doesn’t break it.
Sorry I’ve been absent. Sick doesn’t really cover it. I was close to (shudder) taking myself to a hospital yesterday when I couldn’t talk at all, kept cutting off my airway with my inflamed throat, and kept salivating like a mini fountain. It was rather unpleasant. This whole illness is a lowlight of my life. Current theory: salivary gland infection. On account of the drooling.
But the question is, do I vote in presidential elections? What do you think?
Well, I know I’m real subtle about my beliefs…oh wait. I got fired by my horse trainer for saying some ICE tactics in Minneapolis were not legal. So, I’m one of those woke people.
We woke people vote. So, I do. Once the person I voted for won and I was so relieved, thinking our national nightmare was over. Nah, just postponed for a while.
That’s what you get when someone on steroids and TWO antibiotics responds to a blog prompt.
It’s not all bad. The nephew gave me get-well flowers and an apple fritter.
Yes. I’ve been camping. I’m not sure if all this RV camping we’ve been doing the past decade or more counts as “camping” to some folks. I don’t blame them. We have heat and air conditioning, plus real mattresses on the bed. Still, if camping is about nature, fresh air, and learning, then, indeed, I’ve been camping!
Lee roughing it.
I love quiet times and hiking. I love birds, flowers, trees, and insects. And I love the interesting people I meet. I’m not fond of screaming and loud music, or of messing with the parks. But, people interact differently with nature and enjoy different camping activities. I’m fine with that. At least they’re getting out.
They may see these!
So I answered the question. I’m about done. Today I was pretty damned miserable with throat, ear, and neck pain. It’s so hard to swallow!
Me, miserable.
I did go see my health care provider like a good girl. I got a free ear wax cleaning so she could see my inflamed ears. TMI, no doubt. But it worked, and indeed I’m all inflamed and my throat looks extra bad. Strep test was negative, but when I told her I haven’t had my usual energy and have suddenly put on ten pounds, we agreed that my thyroid is acting up again.
I didn’t even get to see Fiona and all the new grass sprouting up where hay bales were.
So after three tries, the technician finally got enough blood out to test my thyroid numbers. I hope to hear back soon. In the meantime, I’m hoping the antibiotics have done their work by morning. I’m weary of this.
I love all these ball moss flowers in black and white.
Kathleen made a delicious dinner that was soft enough to swallow, which was a relief, because I was really hungry! And wow, I’m tired, thanks to waking myself up all night making wheezing and gagging noises. The curse of being a light sleeper is your snoring wakes YOU up.
I may have to sleep downstairs!
No doubt things will be better soon. My friend circle has a lot of harder challenges. Aging isn’t for sissies, but we keep plugging along!
Fact: I have no favorite emoji. I think I can express how I feel in words. I do like “lol” though it’s not an emoji and it’s taken me 20 years to come to like it. lol.
Write about a time when you didn’t take action but wish you had. What would you do differently?
Short version: after a series of ill-advised relationships I accepted the first proposal of marriage I received. I should have stopped the wedding, apologized, and concentrated on my studies. But no, I just went along with it, because I thought I was expected to.
I drank a bit at this event
Why did I get married to this boy (he was only 23 years old)?
He was beautiful, with black hair and huge, almond/shaped blue eyes.
He was fun to hang out with and liked to do things outdoors.
I loved his dear Cajun family very much and didn’t want to lose them.
I felt very unattractive, unlikeable, and like i was a disappointment to my family and colleagues.
He was great at sex—I confused sex with love during my late teens and 20s. Tsk tsk.
I was terrified of being left all alone, having lost my mother and my first love just a few years before—the abandonment issues I struggled with the first part of my life were the underlying reason I did that.
Why shouldn’t I have married that young man?
Desperation is not a reason to get married
Sadness over the loss of a relationship is not a great reason to form a legal bond
I didn’t realize he was looking for me to replace his mother, who in his mind had abandoned him when she divorced his dad. In reality both his parents were much happier with their second spouses. He did not see this.
He viewed me as a helpful cook, financial assistant, and sex partner until he could go into international finance in Europe, without me.
He kept giving me yeast infections and blamed me for it. Nope. He had a very entrenched yeast issue.
I needed therapy before I could be a good spouse.
What could have helped?
My family could have told me how much they disliked him. Only later did I learn they called him “the iguana” (not sure why, maybe his eyes looked lizardly?)
His damn family could have taken me aside and told me he was more messed up than I was about abandonment.
I could have found a good therapist. He could have, too.
Dad later informed me the fellow was an asshole. Thanks, Dad.
In any case, I came to my senses quickly. He got his MBA that I helped him get and I got a very inexpensive divorce, since we owned no property and were amicable. I drove him to his new job in Detroit and never heard from him again. He passed away from testicular cancer a few years ago. He had a happy later marriage, which was good.
Ow, let’s note that if I hadn’t made that mistake, I wouldn’t have gotten the job that led me to another job where I met my kids’ dad, who moved me to Texas then left me for someone pretty and athletic, which made me get the job where I met Lee. So, life has its way of teaching its lessons, and if you keep working on yourself, you might end up content after all.
If I hadn’t have gone through all that, I wouldn’t have my living weed-eater! Here, Apache helps with the Johnson grass problem.
It’s fashionable to declare one’s sweeping disdain for social media and disgust at all its flaws. People who enjoy their favorite apps are looked down upon by those who choose to abstain. I’m not sure the disdain is warranted. After all, you’re reading social media right now, and no one’s nefariously trying to steal your information or convert you into believing some propaganda.
A pearl crescent
That’s my point. It’s not all bad, nor am I so naive as to think social media is an entirely benign way of sharing information, either. All media have the potential open your mind to new horizons, educate you, or lead you astray, depending on circumstances. Just as with books, magazines, newspapers, radio, television, movies, etc., caution and common sense help distinguish between what’s appropriate and what’s not.
A tan jumping spider
And that’s what I try to do. Just as I select reading material carefully, I choose social media outlets that meet my needs, and put others aside. I admit to strongly disliking Tik Tok or anything featuring frenetic and loud videos. If you enjoy it, I’m not going to look down on you! (I might frown a bit if you are a big Truth Social fan, but hey, I’m a well known left-leaning individual.)
Over the years, I have managed to select among blogs, Substacks, websites, and (a very few) YouTube channels that bring me interesting perspectives, knowledge about topics I love (yarn, horses, birds, the world). I rarely run into offensive content because I choose carefully and only take recommendations from people I trust.
Ladybug larva (it rained lightly all day, which didn’t provide many photo opportunities)
Facebook, which people seem to love or hate, is mostly a safe place for me, because I take care to be friends with and follow kind, smart, and funny people and institutions. I do have friends from many backgrounds and with whom I disagree on important topics. The ones who aren’t respectful to me and my friends don’t last long, as are people who expect me to tiptoe around their beliefs. I’m done with that kind of prison.
I love hearing from friends and family who I don’t get to see often, and I appreciate the perspectives I get from people who are smarter than me. This makes Facebook a positive part of my life, though I acknowledge that the way too accurately targeted ads and unneeded AI stories do make for less pleasure. Scrolling past that stuff quickly has become an art form.
Of course, social media gives me pleasure because I can contribute my thoughts and feelings to share with others. Believe it or not, I don’t share everything, just things I hope my friends and followers would enjoy. It makes me happiest when things I write get people talking to each other or sharing their own ideas.
There’s no way I’ll ever be a social media star, which is good, since I haven’t wanted to be famous since I was very young and didn’t know the consequences of fame. Shudder. I just want to be a friendly (if opinionated) voice who sounds like a real woman pondering about issues and observing the beauty in the world. That’s what I do with social media.
If you could be a character from a book or film, who would you be? Why?
Great question. I knew my answer pretty quickly. If I could be a character in a book or movie, I’d be Kya from Where the Crawdads Sing, by Delia Owens. It’s my second favorite book, as I said in my book report.
A crawdad
Sure, Kya has lots of challenges. But she gets to spend lots and lots of time by herself looking at plants and classifying them. And she gets to be a famous author but not have to deal too much with the annoying parts of being famous. Mostly I just love the life she leads, the peace she finds in nature, and her acceptance of who she is, even though she’s not “standard.”
Yep, I could live in her world happily. Since it’s not possible, I’ll just have to re-read the book soon. I liked the movie fine, but I can slowly savor Owens’s words if I’m reading. She writes like I think. That’s a magical feeling.
The Hermits' Rest 