family – The Hermits' Rest

Enjoy every dang moment

I say that because I wore my Lynda Barry shirt today, with Marlys saying “dang.”

It’s a comic for people my age and was very funny in the 20th century. Look up Lynda Barry.

But I’m here to tell you I’ve taken my own advice to enjoy every dang moment, and this had a very pleasant day with only a little remnant of The Sickness with No Name. I even got to talk to some friends today about its baffling nature. I’ve missed friends.

I’ve missed these, too. Meadow pinks. I’ll work on a better photo.

And Kathleen felt better enough to do stuff with horses and enjoy family chatting (the men call it BS-ing). We spent a lot of time dreaming up one of those gardens that catch runoff, because we will soon have giant rainwater harvesting barrels that need managing. It’s fun to dream of home improvements. I’ve always loved it.

I don’t know why, but the little depression near the driveway with frogs, crawfish and harmless water snakes doesn’t count as a decorative water feature.

The most fun part of the day was when I took a well-deserved walk at lunch. Though it was a cloudy day, the wildflowers on our roadside made it seem very bright!

Nature’s color palette is vibrant in May.

Because we started getting rain right after the poor bluebonnets and paintbrushes tried to bloom, the second wave of flowers is impressive.

I had a grand time looking at how huge the Engelmann daisies and Gaillardia are this year.

Many springs find those daisies all droopy and sad. Not this year.

Closer to my son’s house, I found the clasping coneflowers (Mexican hats, as they were called until recently) were much more robust than they’ve been in recent years. They make the roadside look like someone planned the arrangement of plants.

With a background of Dickcissels and orioles singing, I couldn’t help but feel thankful. This is why I live out here in rural America. The land and wildlife are always changing and endlessly interesting.

Grateful to be caretaker for this wild patch.

I am convinced I do better work when I can take these breaks. After lunch I churned out a big document and it met with approval. Then my boss took a framework I built and turned it into a project plan of great sophistication and utility. That was energizing to see! Living in the moment even makes work more rewarding, at least sometimes.

Yep, I’m proud of myself for plowing through the rough times. They make good days like today all the more treasured. And now, here’s the photo dump of today’s views.

A perfect flower? No, they’re all slightly irregular.

Can we have ONE crisis-less week, or even day?

That cloud of misfortune over our family is getting too big for its britches. We aren’t looking for constant tranquility, just a bit less ebb and more flow. The inconveniences, illnesses, deaths, and accidents are just piling on.

I picked myself flowers to bring a little nature inside.

Yesterday Lee drove all the way back to where the RV is, because he’d left his wallet. Yep. Made it nearly a week of lots of driving with no wallet. And in this place, you need ID, even if you’re white and straight and look male.

That’s nothing, really. And hey, I’m only slightly sick now. It was an okay day of work and I was looking forward to my 1:1 with my boss when Kathleen called. She never calls when we are both here. Well, she was feeding horses when Drew pinned her against the gate and kicked her right above her hip. Dammit.

Let’s look at pretty plants, not at someone who is hurt.

So I called 911 and got Drew away from her (he had been nuzzling her like horses do when they throw you to the ground—why are you down there?). It didn’t take too long for the guys to arrive. I am not an EMT so I can’t judge, but they didn’t seem very good at getting her on the gurney.

Off she went. I went back to work until I remembered to feed my son’s pets while he’s in the Old Country. At the same time as I realized I didn’t have car keys, FedEx came. Dogs barked as usual. Kept barking as I set boxes down. Were still barking when I got in the car…so I checked on them. Yes, as if animals hadn’t caused enough injuries today, Penney was trying to eat Harvey. He was trying, in his old and unstable way, to fight back. Carlton was trying to break it up. Too much hysteria led to a mess.

By the time I threw my bag at Penney to make her leave, blood was everywhere. No one was mortally wounded, but Harvey gushed a bit. That didn’t last long. Lee had to do a lot of cleaning of wounds and floors while I fed Potato and Dewey, the grandcat and rat. I admit I stayed with them and basked in their calmness and cuteness for a while.

I told myself that things come in threes (not really a believer), so I was happy to discover the third thing was just weird. Right by my car as I was driving to the road, a very large mama cow decided to mount an equally large and thankfully calm bull. That’s some power dynamics.

I wound down at the birding hut, where Nature at last decided to smile on me. I enjoyed watching two sweet-faced heifers checking me out across the fence. They were so graceful and curious. I bet they’ll make wonderful and respectful mama cows.

The good news is that Kathleen is “only” severely bruised and has no broken bones or damaged organs. Since this is the third time Droodles and his boundary issues have caused an injury, he is going to go to another location. There will be a trainer there who will give him the work he needs to be his best and will keep him away from short women or inexperienced people.

Safety first. Four years down the drain. I’m not the right person for him, nor is Kathleen. We are not up to what is needed.

This has not been a fun day. But we handled everything and have made rational decisions. I’m proud of all of the family. I’m not proud of one horse and one particular dog.

I must be a little better

How do I know? I just started singing some old Billy Joel song and it sounded like an alto singer doing the song, not Frankenstein’s monster. Yesterday I surely would have sounded monster-like.

Many exciting events happened today.

I almost opened my mouth all the way
I ate a juicy pear
My ears and salivary glands hurt more than my throat
I thought of writing a catchy pop song to the rhythm of the popping in my ears. Something’s moving around in there.
I was able to laugh a lot with my coworker and family—light-heartedly kidding around is healing

But that’s about all I have for you today. I am patiently healing and not rushing it, as I’ve been encouraged to do.

I’ll emerge a beautiful Suna-esque butterfly as I escape the mystery ailment cocoon.

Maybe I’ll review some television next. Being sick has led to a lot of that, since I can only read so long before my head hurts. (Whine, whine, whine—so many friends have much bigger challenges —I do remember you all.)

I’m Not Dead and I Do Vote

Do you vote in political elections?

Sorry I’ve been absent. Sick doesn’t really cover it. I was close to (shudder) taking myself to a hospital yesterday when I couldn’t talk at all, kept cutting off my airway with my inflamed throat, and kept salivating like a mini fountain. It was rather unpleasant. This whole illness is a lowlight of my life. Current theory: salivary gland infection. On account of the drooling.

But the question is, do I vote in presidential elections? What do you think?

Well, I know I’m real subtle about my beliefs…oh wait. I got fired by my horse trainer for saying some ICE tactics in Minneapolis were not legal. So, I’m one of those woke people.

We woke people vote. So, I do. Once the person I voted for won and I was so relieved, thinking our national nightmare was over. Nah, just postponed for a while.

That’s what you get when someone on steroids and TWO antibiotics responds to a blog prompt.

It’s not all bad. The nephew gave me get-well flowers and an apple fritter.

Why Didn’t I Call off My Wedding?

Write about a time when you didn’t take action but wish you had. What would you do differently?

Short version: after a series of ill-advised relationships I accepted the first proposal of marriage I received. I should have stopped the wedding, apologized, and concentrated on my studies. But no, I just went along with it, because I thought I was expected to.

Why did I get married to this boy (he was only 23 years old)?

He was beautiful, with black hair and huge, almond/shaped blue eyes.
He was fun to hang out with and liked to do things outdoors.
I loved his dear Cajun family very much and didn’t want to lose them.
I felt very unattractive, unlikeable, and like i was a disappointment to my family and colleagues.
He was great at sex—I confused sex with love during my late teens and 20s. Tsk tsk.
I was terrified of being left all alone, having lost my mother and my first love just a few years before—the abandonment issues I struggled with the first part of my life were the underlying reason I did that.

Why shouldn’t I have married that young man?

Desperation is not a reason to get married
Sadness over the loss of a relationship is not a great reason to form a legal bond
I didn’t realize he was looking for me to replace his mother, who in his mind had abandoned him when she divorced his dad. In reality both his parents were much happier with their second spouses. He did not see this.
He viewed me as a helpful cook, financial assistant, and sex partner until he could go into international finance in Europe, without me.
He kept giving me yeast infections and blamed me for it. Nope. He had a very entrenched yeast issue.
I needed therapy before I could be a good spouse.

What could have helped?

My family could have told me how much they disliked him. Only later did I learn they called him “the iguana” (not sure why, maybe his eyes looked lizardly?)
His damn family could have taken me aside and told me he was more messed up than I was about abandonment.
I could have found a good therapist. He could have, too.

Dad later informed me the fellow was an asshole. Thanks, Dad.

In any case, I came to my senses quickly. He got his MBA that I helped him get and I got a very inexpensive divorce, since we owned no property and were amicable. I drove him to his new job in Detroit and never heard from him again. He passed away from testicular cancer a few years ago. He had a happy later marriage, which was good.

Ow, let’s note that if I hadn’t made that mistake, I wouldn’t have gotten the job that led me to another job where I met my kids’ dad, who moved me to Texas then left me for someone pretty and athletic, which made me get the job where I met Lee. So, life has its way of teaching its lessons, and if you keep working on yourself, you might end up content after all.

If I hadn’t have gone through all that, I wouldn’t have my living weed-eater! Here, Apache helps with the Johnson grass problem.

Getting Back on Track

Today was beautiful, as days after a spring cool front tend to be. Every color was bright, the animals were happy, and the birds were out in full force! Thanks to migrating gulls and other visitors, we had 72 species at the Hermits’ Rest today! That’s the most since I have been tracking birds.

The weather was so nice that Vicki decided to ride her new horse, Malone, over for a visit. He’s a very attractive red dun with an expressive face, especially when he’s looking at Darryl, Jr., who is his first turkey experience.

Here he’s looking at Drew, who also interested him.

I got Apache all saddled and warmed up, and we set out to ride around the field. Apache was fine for about five minutes, then decided he was done.

Here’s Malone watching me warm up Apache. Only later I realized the poles are set wrong.

It was pretty frustrating to see him back in his old ways. I remembered how to deal with it, but after ten minutes or so, my right leg was getting tired of trying to get him to go forward rather than sideways. It didn’t help that Drew and the other horses were in a tizzy and running up and down the fence line. Soon Drew broke the fence completely. He wanted to join us.

I got Apache back to the starting area and proceeded to do more ground work with him, so he won’t think I will stop asking him to do things if he behaves badly enough. He did fine.

Malone didn’t really want to leave, so it was Vicki’s turn to deal with an opinionated horse. Once they got to the end of the driveway and around the corner, it got better.

Whew. I need to get over my horse (more like horse trainer) issues and ride more often or Apache will stay uncooperative. Kathleen and I are encouraging each other to not work so late and do more horse activities. She had Dusty all saddled up and working in the round pen this evening. He’s getting muscles and seems to be enjoying it.

He’s remembering the old days. Doesn’t he look good?

I did make my nails look festive and get caught up on my temperature blanket today, but I still have Master Naturalist stuff to do. I’m just giving myself permission to take it easy, however.

It may be starting all over again, but Apache and I will get back on track! Plus, the fence is repaired again, at least for a while.

Keep Moving On

That’s what I tell myself when I get overwhelmed or frustrated. Just keep moving. Sometimes just putting one foot in front of the other seems hard. I have a notion that we all feel like it’s hard to keep moving sometimes. I’m glad I’m to the point where it’s not too often.

There are always thorns or other obstacles on our paths! These are thistles.

Today was one of those days. I was just wondering why I was making so much effort. Maybe I was just coming down from all that self-help book energy. I stood on the porch and looked out at the nice, full pond, took a few deep breaths, and decided I’d get back to moving forward…tomorrow.

Today I mostly crocheted, watched a variety of television shows, ranging from the rather crude Ted (Seth McFarland humor at its crudest) to art history and a documentary about lobsters. Meanwhile, Kathleen cooked a fine traditional Easter dinner, and I provided wine. I’m not much of a helper.

I’d have had more blogging time if we hadn’t reached the end of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. The final episode was very long, since it had to neatly end many story lines and “regale” us with endless battle scenes. That may have been the next-to-last episode. I get bored watching tiny model ships pretend to explode and shoot rays of various colors. Actually I knit, crochet, or read during battle scenes of all kinds. I like character development.

No reason for this photo except I still can’t believe the false dandelions this year.

On that tangent, I’ll take my leave so I can drive back down to the Austin suburbs for a visit with the dentist. That’s just the start of a long couple of weeks!

Where Are You Going?

There’s an old sappy song going through my head right now.

Where are you going, my little one, little one?
Where are you going, my baby, my own?
Turn around and you’re two – turn around and you’re four
Turn around and you’re a young child going out of the door.

It came up when I was watching my friend Ellie, who’s going to have her second baby next month. I met her when she just started college, and now she’s got a career and beautiful family. I’m so happy to have watched her grow and mature over the years.

And to see Ellie and her husband, Jimmy, with their older daughter just warms my heart. They’ve done a great job raising a polite, intelligent, and charming little girl. I enjoyed spending time with her, drawing, problem solving her strange pen, and trying out the child’s binoculars I got her. The binoculars came with a whistle. She really liked the whistle.

Lord of the Rings themed decor. Baby Charles Christopher has a LOTR mural in his room.

Ruby can even read already! My heart burst from pent-up love, I guess. I don’t know how I’d cope if I had grandchildren and could see them all the time. To get to watch the child of your own children grow up is a real privilege. (I respect my children’s decision not to reproduce, so I’m glad to have bonus grandchildren.)

I want those hair things. I didn’t want to share Ruby’s face, but you can see her hair! That’s what mine looked like—same color and curls.

I also made a new friend and got two new friends on my Finch app. All in all, I had a good day, and didn’t mind one bit driving to Round Rock in the rain. Yes! We got 1.8”! The ponds filled. Joy!

Sure, I’ve Changed since Covid

How have you adapted to the changes brought on by the Covid-19 pandemic?

Since I’m avoiding telling other people’s stories and not much is going on with me, I welcomed this question. It gave me a chance to evaluate what’s changed, my struggles to adapt, and the positive and negative results.

I found one sad, small wine cup today. Usually we have quite a few. Hope the prediction of rain soon is correct.

Positive: the people we were staying with and became our “pod” are still with us much of the time. We have gone through significant ups and downs, misunderstandings, illnesses, and job changes, but we now support each other and have learned to deal with each other’s idiosyncrasies. There are a lot of idiosyncrasies to go around, but the fact that we’ve made it through a series of pretty impressive challenges and remain supportive says a lot about me, Lee, Kathleen, and Chris. We’ve done a lot of growing and changing for the better.

Another positive that didn’t feel that way at the time is that I finally figured out how to lose my conception of what was happening in my life and keep living in the moment rather than dwelling on the losses. There was a period when I realized friendships and family relationships weren’t what I thought they were. That hurt. And thanks to Covid I lost my beautiful workspace I’d put so much effort into and didn’t get to fully enjoy living in Austin in my beautiful house. I had to leave by the time we were no longer masked and distant.

But I got through it all. It may not have been pretty, and my heart broke and rebroke, but I came out so much stronger and more resilient. I have a much more accurate perspective on the people around me, friends, colleagues, and society.

Covid truly taught me that attaining personal growth, gaining wisdom, and developing inner strength is a journey that does not end. I’m better prepared now, though.

A negative is that I’m still not comfortable being in large groups where people might cough all over me. It doesn’t help that the only time I actually got the disease was after flying to a vacation. I have to fly again week after next. I have come to terms with the fact that there are germs out there. I do still have to live my life (and symptoms of the virus I got when I went to that event recently are finally almost gone).

Covid has kept me and Lee even more hermit-like, though I do a few things, still! And Lee goes grocery shopping where there are many people, something I avoid these days.

My favorite positive to come out of COVID is that I don’t have to commute to work and can stay here at the Hermits’ Rest or even work from campsites. At first I really missed being with coworkers, but now I’m so happy that I can be home where it’s less distracting (other than dogs) and work with so many people around the world. Thank goodness for online meetings! And when I quit, I can go hug a turkey, pet a horse, or go for a hike.

I think my life changed for the better, even considering the downsides. I’m sure a lot less anxious (as long as I do deep breathing during the news).

Happy April! Here’s 1/3 of the year’s temperature blanket, featuring the hottest March ever.