horses – The Hermits' Rest

I know my negativity

What’s the best way to deal with negative thoughts?

As an expert on negative thoughts (my own) I have much to say about dealing with negative thoughts. I’ve written plenty about it over the years. And, as I’ve mentioned, I’ve gotten a lot better at dealing with my negative self talk.

Being human, and living in 2026, I do still have negative thoughts, both about myself and the state of the world. I don’t know what’s the “best” way to deal them, but I can share what I do.

When I’m thinking negative thoughts about myself, I remind myself that I’m just fine and that other people’s opinions of me are their issue, not mine. And over the years I’ve simply gotten more comfortable with my imperfections and oddities. That helps. Just reminding myself that no one’s perfect and that’s FINE helps me push aside negative self talk.

As for the state of the world, dealing with negative thoughts about the state of the world or the future, well, that’s harder. I latch onto any positive news like a life rope. Last weekend’s convention was helpful. But most important for me, I need to live in the moment and see the good and beauty around me. Nature, dogs, horses, family, and work are the things I can focus on. Anyone can do something like that!

Just think of a basket of puppies (I wish it were so easy)

When I was learning to not be so hard on myself, I taught myself to redirect negative thoughts by acknowledging them, then focusing on a positive statement. Things are difficult now. Your feelings are real and do matter—it’s just important not to dwell on them all the time, since it doesn’t make anything better.

Nowadays, when doomsday thoughts, hopelessness, or fear creep in I remind myself that there are way more people who just want a safe home for their families, meaningful work, and freedom to be themselves than there are oligarchs and their ilk. They have money, but we have numbers.

Did that help? Maybe?

PS: Happy Canada Day!

My friend Patty saw a parade like this today! Photo from Pexels

Always growing! Of course.

What is one way you have grown this year?

One of the best things about aging is that you realize you have learned so much from all those “learning experiences.” Also, you are humbled to realize that those opportunities do not suddenly end when you hit some magical age of discernment. I wish.

We’re beautiful despite our scars, like my sunflower and friend.

While I do have a pretty good idea of what my issues and triggers are (abandonment, low self esteem, sensitivity to criticism, etc.), I still have more to learn about dealing with my areas of vulnerability. Who doesn’t, right?

When my horse trainer dismissed me as a client in January, I admit I was blindsided. My fear of abandonment took me back to how I felt as a small child. I was heartbroken. I thought she was a lifelong friend, though I realized we had differences.

Now I have time and funds to make a pond! So far all I have are a clean trough and a solar fountain. Plants are coming.

How did I grow? Well, I was able to nip my inclination to blame myself in the bud. I was able to see she is in pain and afraid, and struck out at me as a convenient target. I can’t say I wasn’t sad or that I don’t regret that it happened. But I’m back to seeing good in life.

Everything has its season, flowers and friendships both.

A key insight for me was that I realized I felt a lot better now that I didn’t feel pressured to perform, to modify my speech, and make myself do things I didn’t want to do. You know what? I can enjoy my horses without asking them to do things they don’t enjoy, and I can take my time making progress. I don’t even have to ride. It’s okay!

And yep, that’s the growth for this year so far. I have broken free of feeling like I have to diminish myself so as not to “rock the boat” — and it’s happening at work and home, too. I notice things but don’t react unless it’s important, and then I’m more compassionate. yay!

I was kind to this guy today. He really wanted to hang out on the side of the door, so I propped it open for him.

No wonder I enjoy my work and don’t let pissy people bug me. No wonder I can relax at home and feel like it’s a choice to steer clear of some potentially contentious topics or ignore potentially irritating actions, not something I have to do to protect myself. Bonus: I realize others are letting my annoying features slide, too. It’s reciprocal!

I hope you can think of ways you’ve been growing this year. Have you seen growth in others? I sure have, and I’m so pleased. As long as I’m surrounded by people who are doing their best to be the kind of friend, family member, or community member they can be, I can hold on and make the best of each day.

People can be rejuvenating

If you’ve read my writing before, you’ve probably realized I’ve gotten more like the hermit in our ranch name as time goes on. I get pretty drained in crowds nowadays, even Master Naturalist meetings. (Yet I am going to a convention soon, which I may regret.)

However, one-on-one interactions lift my spirits so much! Today I had many opportunities for good conversation. I’m thankful to all!

I’m even grateful for this large bold jumping spider who entertained us this morning.

This morning I spent a good while talking about some complicated stuff with Kathleen over our morning coffee, but soon the topics veered off into what an odd little family dynamic we have over here at the compound. For example, we keep repaying each other similar amounts of money, so it’s just floating around in circles. Much laughter ensued. Penney also found it funny.

Next, Terry the farrier came to trim the horses and Fiona. We had good conversation with him, too. I enjoy learning his stories of his interesting life and his own odd happenings, like someone just giving him a Jeep. He also found a weird thing growing on Spice, near her tests. Our guess is that it’s a skin tag or little melanoma. I need to find someone knowledgeable to look at it.

After a nice, quiet afternoon of work, Terri from Master Naturalists came over to get a blog software refresher so she can help on the Master Naturalist blog. We are supposed to have a backup for all our roles. We fed the horses, looked at all the ponds and outbuildings, and yes, practiced blogging. I tried to explain our family arrangements here, and once again realized how weird it sounds when you say it out loud. I enjoyed her stories of living on a sailboat with young children, too.

I know I share a lot of egrets. But they are so beautiful.

It was a very pleasant time with no deadlines or big agenda. The whole day was like that. Very little negativity and much supportive interaction. I wish you similar days!

It’s nice to be nice

Today was good. One of my friends had asked our chat group if anyone had certain essential oils. I thought to myself, why, I have a considerable amount of essential oils. I could give them to her so she wouldn’t have to spend all the money to buy them. Then I realized I now only use one or two oils, so ten years’ worth of collecting was just sitting there. I decided to give it all away.

I could barely carry the bag full of oils in boxes, bags, etc. into the restaurant for lunch. I laughed as my friends descended on those bottles of oils like magpies spotting shiny objects. The one who needed the oils to tend to her llama went first, and she found all she needed.

I got joy out of everyone’s chatter and discussion of where and how they were going to use their aromatic treasures. It all went to someone, including the boxes, one of which was a humidor. One friend only took a box! I was just so pleased to know that this stuff I’d spent a lot of money on would get used by people who’d enjoy it. I’m so happy for them.

Later in the day, I gave the phone number we’d been using for our late lamented Air Bnb house to my son’s partner, who is about to lose their previous number. I’m so proud of myself for remembering to hold on to the number for just this kind of occurrence. My reward was hugs and smiles, which made my heart soar. All I want is to make life a little easier for them!

A different topic

This still relates to being nice, but in a different way. I finally got an equine dentist to come out and float our horses’ teeth. Kayli at Walking K Equine Dentistry is charming and enthusiastic. She’s also one strong cowgirl.

It’s always fun to watch the horses get worked on. They always feel better with sharp edges removed and irregularities smoothed out.

Dusty wanted to share a story with Kayli.

The best part is when they’re done and recovering from the sedation. It’s pure relaxation. I really enjoyed listening to Spice snoring as she recovered.

I’m glad we found someone who lives nearby to do this work, since it needs to be done yearly and our previous dentist has had trouble with appointments (she’s still very good at the job). Mabel needs to be seen again in 6 months because she has a loose tooth. Or Spice. What a fine memory I have. Good thing Kathleen was with me to remember things and tell fun stories about cattle. We are an interesting team.

I’m thinking that, since I hear often that I need to have fewer objects, I should keep my ears open in case someone else needs something I can pass on. It’s uplifting to think that my unused items could be just what someone else needs!

I know it’s blurry. But this water bug looks cool.

Flowing and going

Hello blog, reader friends. how are you all doing? I’m a pretty tired gal today because I worked my little butt off and succeeded in finishing yet another big old project that I had to get done. I’m very proud of myself, but it takes a lot out of you to sit in front of the computer with headphones on for eight hours in one day.

I’d rather have been standing here looking at the pins and listening to Green Herons in the willows.

I’m glad I had something to take my mind off of all the work. When we got up this morning, we looked out the window and Lee said hey. There’s a donkey out there. Sure enough Fiona was grazing happily in front of the house. Somehow the horses had managed to find their way out. We thought about it and decided well, let’s just let them mow the lawn and fertilize a little bit for a while and they’ll go back in when they get thirsty. We could just go with the flow.

Nothing really seem to bother the horses all day. Even when the garbage truck came and made a lot of noise, they just sort of looked up and said, hey, a giant truck how about that? It drove past them, picked up the dumpster, dumped it, yet they just kept eating. Flowing and not going anywhere.

It’s just the garbage truck. Keep eating.

Later in the day, I came out to get the mail and there was good old Spice checking out the RV parking area, which currently contains a tractor with a missing front door. She was checking that tractor out pretty thoroughly. She was also checking out a bag of birdseed, which I wish she hadn’t checked out. Ah well. Could be worse.

By the time the horses’ meal time came around, they were all back in the pens, because they had finally gotten thirsty, just like we predicted. The only one who was wandering around was Fiona, who couldn’t seem to find the correct gate to go in. We determined that perhaps one of the veterinary assistance had forgotten to chain Dusty’s pen gate, and that’s how they got out this morning. It’s OK. It’s nice to just not have to worry about the horses doing anything weird, because Drew isn’t here anymore to instigate mayhem with his curiosity. I still miss him though, of course.

The sky was getting darker and darker while I was feeding them and sure enough just before everyone was finished it began to rain pretty darn hard. I had to let everyone out cause I couldn’t leave them trapped in their pens, so I got a little shower from nature. It actually felt pretty good. No need to get bent out of shape; I was flowing and dripping.

I tried to get a heron picture, but I scared it.

I think I’ll go to bed now, and bask in the fact that nothing horrible happened all day long and it was fun and I just got to enjoy being at home being with the horses and being with everybody else. I’ll be back tomorrow. Stephen Colbert can’t say that, but now he can run for office.

Moving mud around

No blog yesterday, because the day didn’t feature anything worth mentioning to the blogosphere. Today wasn’t much more exciting, since I was mostly problem solving issues of no interest to anyone other than me and a couple of coworkers. At least my mind is occupied!

Some birds are still hiding. This Green Heron thought it was invisible.

It’s been a nice couple of days full of interesting birds, like a Canada Warbler, which of course didn’t pose. We’re getting quite a variety these days.

I enjoyed a visit with this friendly Lark Sparrow. They are brave little guys.

The highlight of the day, at least for those of us in the household who do horse care, is that more work is being done around the pens (rain slowed progress down, but all the rails are back up!). I heard noises outside, and when I checked it out, the tractor was busy moving dirt from the big pile that created our tiny pond into the pens.

The dirt has smoothed out the areas than have sunken in since Kathleen bought sand to put in the pens when they were first finished. The mud from rains, especially where it dripped off the shelter roof, is very slick and no fun for horses or people.

We hope this will help drainage, but it’s been pointed out that the new dirt will just make new and different puddles. And it’s darned clay-ish in this part of the property.

Butterflies drink from the clay mud. It has minerals.

It sounds like the shelter extension will go up soon. It will have a gutter that will drain away from the pens and give the horses a much nicer shelter and a dry shaded place for grooming, hoof trimming, and veterinary stuff.

Bonus photo of a Ruby-throated Hummingbird.

There are even rumors of a concrete pad for bathing. I don’t know…that sounds awfully fancy! It’s fun to dream of, though. And Apache could sure use a bath!

Weird thing about grief

I’m grieving the fact that my horse Drew has gone to greener pastures (literally, east Texas, where it’s damp). I’m grateful for all the very kind words from many of you. It will just take me a few days to feel more centered.

At least I’m happy that I got my fig tree that friends were holding for me. Yay Figgy.

Today reminded me of something I’ve noticed before when I experienced grief. I get really accident prone. This is apparently a known consequence of grieving, in addition to memory lapses and decreased spatial senses (thanks AI). I didn’t put 2 and 2 together and figure out why I was so “off” today until this evening. Now I get it.

Like this mushroom, I’m not quite right.

Nothing bad happened, I just had odd accidents. For example, I was operating the gate to go to the garage and somehow got my thumbnail stuck in the link of a chain in the locking mechanism. That caused me to drop the can of Precious Coke Zero I was carrying. I extricated myself without breaking my freshly painted nail. But when I got into the Jeep to go get Figgy, I foolishly opened the can. Soda all over my clean jeans. Sigh.

I later dropped the phone (it’s fine) and scratched myself on the gate to the chickens. At least I got two eggs today!

And finally, after serving myself some comfort ice cream, I sat down to eat it, and it all plopped out of the bowl onto my cute shirt and the already soda-stained jeans. Sheesh.

I have heard that horses “grieve” the loss of a herd member. I wonder if the remaining four here are grieving or having the most relaxed day in years? I’m not sure. I did ride Apache today, as you could guess from the photo above. He’s getting back into the swing of things again, though being sick hasn’t helped the progress. He did great in the round pen today, but as soon as I walked him out of it, he did an Apache fit and I thought he was going to buck his way back to the barn. But, ha! I remembered the one-rein stop. He stopped.

He had a look on his face like he was very disappointed I remembered how to do that. And I competently got him to follow or lead Dusty and Kathleen around the outside of the pen until he quit thinking about exiting. At least Tarrin taught me something!

My vision for the future. So many chickadees.

Things will improve, I’m sure. We got some good rain this evening. And I got through another Mother’s Day burying my grief over my estranged son. It helped that my other son remembered me and so did my bonus daughter up near Dallas (two weeks until her son is due!).

Oops. The weather service just called. Big storm coming. Lee is bringing Figgy inside the screened porch!

Even when it’s for the best, rehoming an animal is hard

This is difficult to write, because I’m in danger of veering off into blaming myself, berating myself for being such a wimp, etc. But the goal of this post is to focus on what’s best for everyone.

Nope. Dusty isn’t going anywhere. Kathleen now rides him for hours!

As you may know, my little gray gelding, Drew or Droodles, has had some issues ever since he got kicked in the head by Fiona (mini-donkey). His boundaries are not good, and it takes constant vigilance to remind him to give humans and other horses space. Consequently, my son got kicked by him and had spleen damage, I got knocked into a metal fence rail and needed stitches, and just this week, Kathleen got crowded into a fence and kicked. Not to mention damage inflicted on other horses. I just can’t have any more injuries caused by my horse. (Note that I can go on and on about his good qualities—I love him.)

We had already been trying to find him a place where he’d fit in better. We had decided that he needed somewhere he’d be worked with every day by experienced horse people, and where he could have a job.

These guys need to be in a calm environment, too.

Kathleen’s stepson just happens to be a genuine cowboy, trained by his dad and others. He works with a very good trainer who has helped him with a couple of horses who’ve turned out really well. After this last accident, the family agreed to get Drew over there sooner rather than later. The time for waffling over it had ended.

Drew meets his new trainer. And his dog.

I’m convinced that Drew will adapt well to the new style of training he’ll get, and that the education I already got him will speed things up. Being worked with more often will keep his mind busy and build back his muscles. No matter how much I’d hoped for it, my work and travel schedule would never keep him where he needs to be.

So yep, my family and my other horses will be safer. I can work with Apache more easily without Drew raising a ruckus. The water troughs won’t have him chomping on the spigots (though it’s good there’s now a cage around the automatic waterers, since Spice is a big splasher, too). Drew will be in a more suitable situation with the cowboys, ropes, and all that. My hope is he will be happier.

Do I get to ride in this heirloom trailer?

But I’m very sad. I promised him I’d keep him safe, and now after just four years I’ve let him be shipped off. That’s normal, though. Even with his flaws, he was a lot of fun, and his curiosity always made me laugh. Sara said it was bittersweet when I told her. That’s it. Bittersweet.

At least he’s still in the family, and I’ve been promised photos and videos. I’m truly grateful that Drew has found such a good new situation with good people.

Stopping now before I go into blaming myself. It is all for the best, just sad.

Good news: the rods in the horse pens are all back up and properly welded. More safety! More gratitude for the help on this.

Can we have ONE crisis-less week, or even day?

That cloud of misfortune over our family is getting too big for its britches. We aren’t looking for constant tranquility, just a bit less ebb and more flow. The inconveniences, illnesses, deaths, and accidents are just piling on.

I picked myself flowers to bring a little nature inside.

Yesterday Lee drove all the way back to where the RV is, because he’d left his wallet. Yep. Made it nearly a week of lots of driving with no wallet. And in this place, you need ID, even if you’re white and straight and look male.

That’s nothing, really. And hey, I’m only slightly sick now. It was an okay day of work and I was looking forward to my 1:1 with my boss when Kathleen called. She never calls when we are both here. Well, she was feeding horses when Drew pinned her against the gate and kicked her right above her hip. Dammit.

Let’s look at pretty plants, not at someone who is hurt.

So I called 911 and got Drew away from her (he had been nuzzling her like horses do when they throw you to the ground—why are you down there?). It didn’t take too long for the guys to arrive. I am not an EMT so I can’t judge, but they didn’t seem very good at getting her on the gurney.

Off she went. I went back to work until I remembered to feed my son’s pets while he’s in the Old Country. At the same time as I realized I didn’t have car keys, FedEx came. Dogs barked as usual. Kept barking as I set boxes down. Were still barking when I got in the car…so I checked on them. Yes, as if animals hadn’t caused enough injuries today, Penney was trying to eat Harvey. He was trying, in his old and unstable way, to fight back. Carlton was trying to break it up. Too much hysteria led to a mess.

By the time I threw my bag at Penney to make her leave, blood was everywhere. No one was mortally wounded, but Harvey gushed a bit. That didn’t last long. Lee had to do a lot of cleaning of wounds and floors while I fed Potato and Dewey, the grandcat and rat. I admit I stayed with them and basked in their calmness and cuteness for a while.

I told myself that things come in threes (not really a believer), so I was happy to discover the third thing was just weird. Right by my car as I was driving to the road, a very large mama cow decided to mount an equally large and thankfully calm bull. That’s some power dynamics.

I wound down at the birding hut, where Nature at last decided to smile on me. I enjoyed watching two sweet-faced heifers checking me out across the fence. They were so graceful and curious. I bet they’ll make wonderful and respectful mama cows.

The good news is that Kathleen is “only” severely bruised and has no broken bones or damaged organs. Since this is the third time Droodles and his boundary issues have caused an injury, he is going to go to another location. There will be a trainer there who will give him the work he needs to be his best and will keep him away from short women or inexperienced people.

Safety first. Four years down the drain. I’m not the right person for him, nor is Kathleen. We are not up to what is needed.

This has not been a fun day. But we handled everything and have made rational decisions. I’m proud of all of the family. I’m not proud of one horse and one particular dog.

A Bit of a Break

Today was the first “normal” day in over a week. Other than work, it was just lovely, too. While the wildflowers aren’t overly spectacular this year, looking at them makes it impossible not to live in the moment.

The dandelions of many species were beautiful this morning (pre mowing)

Though the bluebonnets have mostly gone to seed, the other roadside flowers are making up for it, which makes butterflies happy.

The weather was pleasantly warm, and in the morning, the wind was just right. It was perfect for getting the horses’ hooves trimmed. Apache is still shedding profusely on his white spots, and the wind blew the hair away from poor Terry while he trimmed.

Meanwhile, Vlassic scrounged for hoof trimmings.

The horses were so good, and they all look great now that the cracks are smoothed down.

I was charmed at how Mabel and Apache waited their turns nose to nose. They have become good friends.

Even Drew was in a good mood, asking to have his face rubbed, then, get this, mouthing and licking my hand sweetly and gently. We had an absolutely relaxing and pleasant time together. He’s settling down into a fine companion.

The time spent with the horses is so good for me. Dusty and Spice are always so friendly and well mannered. We now have a happy, balanced herd. I’m glad to now have Kathleen’s help with them, too. It’s helped me move forward.

Tomorrow should be either fun or wet. We will see!