If you could instantly master any skill, what would it be and why?
You know what? The blog folks are asking different prompt questions now. That’s good, because my current work project is mind numbing and after two days of it, I’ve got a pretty good headache. I should finish by tomorrow, hopefully with my brain intact.
I did enjoy the first blossom on Lee’s canna lily.
So the best I can do for you today is answer the question of what skill I’d like to master instantly.
I’ve tried to learn to spin wool over and over. I know I CAN learn it, but I’ve never had the patience to keep trying with a drop spindle, and never had enough time with a spinning wheel to get a rhythm. I would truly love to just know how to do it and start enjoying spinning my own yarn minus the learning curve. Yeah, that’s cheating, I know.
Little brown snake is judging me.
Same with weaving. I can weave with a rigid heddle and know how to make tapestries. However, if I could instantly master a big ole loom and all those complex patterns…I’d be set for life. But that’s not happening. I should go make some placemats and not let Lee wash them in the machine (fate of my last woven placemats).
Good thing I do know how to knit and crochet well enough to make things I enjoy.
Speaking of crafts, today was the first day over 95° this year so I got to use wine in the temperature blanket today.
One of the best things about aging is that you realize you have learned so much from all those “learning experiences.” Also, you are humbled to realize that those opportunities do not suddenly end when you hit some magical age of discernment. I wish.
We’re beautiful despite our scars, like my sunflower and friend.
While I do have a pretty good idea of what my issues and triggers are (abandonment, low self esteem, sensitivity to criticism, etc.), I still have more to learn about dealing with my areas of vulnerability. Who doesn’t, right?
When my horse trainer dismissed me as a client in January, I admit I was blindsided. My fear of abandonment took me back to how I felt as a small child. I was heartbroken. I thought she was a lifelong friend, though I realized we had differences.
Now I have time and funds to make a pond! So far all I have are a clean trough and a solar fountain. Plants are coming.
How did I grow? Well, I was able to nip my inclination to blame myself in the bud. I was able to see she is in pain and afraid, and struck out at me as a convenient target. I can’t say I wasn’t sad or that I don’t regret that it happened. But I’m back to seeing good in life.
Everything has its season, flowers and friendships both.
A key insight for me was that I realized I felt a lot better now that I didn’t feel pressured to perform, to modify my speech, and make myself do things I didn’t want to do. You know what? I can enjoy my horses without asking them to do things they don’t enjoy, and I can take my time making progress. I don’t even have to ride. It’s okay!
I like eating the best.
And yep, that’s the growth for this year so far. I have broken free of feeling like I have to diminish myself so as not to “rock the boat” — and it’s happening at work and home, too. I notice things but don’t react unless it’s important, and then I’m more compassionate. yay!
I was kind to this guy today. He really wanted to hang out on the side of the door, so I propped it open for him.
No wonder I enjoy my work and don’t let pissy people bug me. No wonder I can relax at home and feel like it’s a choice to steer clear of some potentially contentious topics or ignore potentially irritating actions, not something I have to do to protect myself. Bonus: I realize others are letting my annoying features slide, too. It’s reciprocal!
All is well at home.
I hope you can think of ways you’ve been growing this year. Have you seen growth in others? I sure have, and I’m so pleased. As long as I’m surrounded by people who are doing their best to be the kind of friend, family member, or community member they can be, I can hold on and make the best of each day.
Don’t write this book off as yet another Suna bird book. Oh, no. This book is for birders, dinosaur lovers, biologists, and those who love Latin. I spent much of my time sounding out the names of dinosaurs, but the author of The History of Birds, Steve Brusatte, got me so invested in all the ancient and modern animals he introduced that I actually kept them straight!
Spoiler alert: birds are dinosaurs. That’s the main thesis of this one. But the fun part is learning how a bunch of dedicated scientists and amateurs figured that out.
Brusatte is a good story teller and a great interpreter of paleontology for us regular people. Each fossil discovery is a little mystery that unfolds through stories. Plus, I learned a lot about the history of Earth. I was fascinated at how the formation of continents influenced how birds evolved.
Another part of the bird history that was fun was how the prehistoric world comes alive with Brusatte’s vivid descriptions of the environment, plants, animals, and weather patterns. It’s like a fun trip through history.
How birds learned to fly, how feathers developed, and how birdsong works are all covered. You’ll feel real smart when you finish reading, and you’ll be so entertained by the birds and dinosaurs and the scientists who love them—the interdisciplinary community that has contributed to what we now know about birds seems tight knit and so cooperative. It encourages me!
Write your guide to setting healthy boundaries in relationships.
Always find beauty. We all have it.
DO
Remind yourself that when someone bullies you, it’s because they feel weak.
Lower expectations from unreliable friends and family. Enjoy the good things and just accept them as they are. Griping won’t change anything.
Bear in mind you don’t have to comply with manipulation.
Listen with your heart and empathize without taking on others’ issues.
Love yourself, warts and all.
See the good in everyone but don’t make excuses for them.
Forgive those who hurt you, even if you must stay away for your safety.
Prioritize your needs; you’re as important as anyone else, so don’t always put others first.
Find the humor in situations.
Make room for silence. Meditate, pray, walk in nature. It improves your ability to bring your best self to relationships.
DON’T
Beg anyone to love you. It never works. That only took me 50 years to figure out.
Walk on eggshells to keep the peace/save a relationship/pacify a narcissist.
Believe the put-downs, insults, passive aggressive jabs, and guilt trips of wounded souls trying to make themselves feel better by belittling you.
Try to fix anyone. That’s their job.
Bear a grudge. It hurts you more than the other person.
Make negative assumptions based on appearance — talk to people.
Tease unkindly, pick on, or gossip about people who are vulnerable.
It felt good to blurt that all out. I’m sure you have your own ideas! Me throwing out unsolicited advice may well be unnecessary. Thanks for playing along.
This guy says to take a hike
More book reporting for tomorrow. Hopefully less flooding, as there was another four inches overnight.
My friend Kathy in Waco lent me this book, CounterfeitCulture, by Keith Brown (3025). when I told her we’d checked out the Homestead Heritage place near there. Her church book club had read it, and it’s definitely a book with a Christian perspective and loaded with Bible quotes.
Keith Brown and her husband, Curtis, are the reason that facility is in Waco, because they provided the money to buy the land where all the Homestead Heritage stores and workshops are located. They were members of the “community” for thirty years before finally leaving.
If you’re interested in how sincere, intelligent people can get sucked into a cult with the best of intentions, you’ll find Brown’s book enlightening. Her personality and early life resemble mine, so I’m glad the only “cult” I nearly got sucked into was La Leche League in its worst years.
It’s pretty impressive that Brown has been able to forgive herself for her mistakes, apologize to her 9 (yikes!) children, and keep her marriage. The fact that she was able to keep her religious convictions also impresses me. She was able to see the loving God and forgiving Jesus that could give her strength. She points out that most people who leave Homestead Heritage reject religion. I can understand that.
Life in the group is exactly how you’d think a cult life would be. There are many good aspects, but there’s always a powerful leader and minions that use fear and intimidation to keep members in line. The rules kept changing, so you could do something that was right last week but elicit a reprimand this week. Worse, it sounded to me like how Communist China used to be, where people tattled on each other constantly, even family members.
Poor Keith Brown had to completely erase her outgoing personality and ways of thinking. I’ve only had to do that a little bit and for not too long and it gave me anxiety attacks. I am impressed she made it through to escape.
And by the way, the group buys most of the food it sells from standard sources, even the wheat. Sniff. I liked the gristmill. Almost all the members live in mobile homes bought by the group, too.
The book confirmed my fears that no utopian community stays that way long. And it opened my eyes to their finances, which involved a lot of borrowing during the years the Browns were there. I don’t know if it’s different now.
And still, if people are happy with the good aspects of Homestead Heritage and enjoy living there, I’m glad for them. They probably think I’ve been indoctrinated by crazy liberal ideas. I just wish power hungry despots didn’t end up requiring loyalty oaths and total obedience, there or here on the outside.
Today was pretty darned pleasant. I got some items on my to-do list done, and enjoyed a day of less bad news surrounding me. Woo hoo!
The knockout roses Lee bought that I thought were doomed are both blooming. One little joy!
I went with Lee and Chris to Lowe’s to pick up supplies for the pool house project behind our house. I remembered to ask them to get a new air conditioner for my she shed, which will certainly improve horse feeding this summer.
Progress is being made!
I also finally remembered to get an American flag to go by our front gate. I’d been intending to do it for quite some e, but I rarely go anywhere that would have one these days. I want to be clear that everyone on our property has hopes for a better future here, no matter the details of our beliefs.
When we got home I hurried to do barn chores, and the flag was up by the time I got finished! What a joy.
I met an interesting man who builds furniture mostly out of 2x4s at the checkout line at Lowe’s. I enjoyed looking at his creative ideas and techniques. He reminded me very much of the creative builders in my family!
After Lowe’s Lee and I went to the pet store and got some “rosy red minnows” to put in the horses’ water troughs. That’s another to-do item I kept forgetting to do. I didn’t remember to take any pictures before I put them in. Let’s hope enough of them survive to do mosquito and algae control.
Apache and Spice always are fascinated by fish. Let’s hope these hide under their cement blocks well.
We got canna lilies to plant near the pool, too. The variety name cracked me up. My mother’s first name was Canova. Close. No humans by that name are authorized in this property, but innocent sale bin plants are.
I did chuckle.
Plus, I gave my nails a rainbow manicure and finished May on the temperature blanket. April and May were fairly pleasant. June is rather red so far. Red is over 90°, wine is over 95° and hot pink is over 100°. I’m hoping for very little hot pink this summer.
Both these brought me joy.
I wish you little moments of joy and much peace. Thanks for reading.
If you’ve read my writing before, you’ve probably realized I’ve gotten more like the hermit in our ranch name as time goes on. I get pretty drained in crowds nowadays, even Master Naturalist meetings. (Yet I am going to a convention soon, which I may regret.)
I can always fly away like this guy.
However, one-on-one interactions lift my spirits so much! Today I had many opportunities for good conversation. I’m thankful to all!
I’m even grateful for this large bold jumping spider who entertained us this morning.
This morning I spent a good while talking about some complicated stuff with Kathleen over our morning coffee, but soon the topics veered off into what an odd little family dynamic we have over here at the compound. For example, we keep repaying each other similar amounts of money, so it’s just floating around in circles. Much laughter ensued. Penney also found it funny.
Next, Terry the farrier came to trim the horses and Fiona. We had good conversation with him, too. I enjoy learning his stories of his interesting life and his own odd happenings, like someone just giving him a Jeep. He also found a weird thing growing on Spice, near her tests. Our guess is that it’s a skin tag or little melanoma. I need to find someone knowledgeable to look at it.
It’s on the right.
After a nice, quiet afternoon of work, Terri from Master Naturalists came over to get a blog software refresher so she can help on the Master Naturalist blog. We are supposed to have a backup for all our roles. We fed the horses, looked at all the ponds and outbuildings, and yes, practiced blogging. I tried to explain our family arrangements here, and once again realized how weird it sounds when you say it out loud. I enjoyed her stories of living on a sailboat with young children, too.
I know I share a lot of egrets. But they are so beautiful.
It was a very pleasant time with no deadlines or big agenda. The whole day was like that. Very little negativity and much supportive interaction. I wish you similar days!
For the past week or two, I’ve been enjoying my friends in the order Odonata, the dragonflies and damselflies. They’ve been darting around the ponds and zipping around the driveway. I always look forward to the brightly colored pink, purple, orange, blue, and green shapes, especially when they hold still.
When they’re moving, it’s a blur.
Of course, even the less colorful ones are fun, since they tend to make up for it with interesting patterns.
Common whitetail, female. Plathemis lydia
I didn’t get any photos as pretty as the one yesterday, but I thought this backlit Roseate skimmer was artistic. These are gloriously pink in sunlight.
Orthemis ferruginea
What the heck, here are more pictures of yesterday’s Blue dasher.
Pachydiplax longipennis
I got to wondering how many different Odonata species we’ve observed here at the ranch. Luck is with me, because I have an iNaturalist project of all observations on our original property and the one next door. Turns out there are 24 species so far. Look at all the variety!
I know I’ve seen some of these more frequently than it appears. But those skimmers are hard to get sitting still. I’ll have to try with the good camera. It doesn’t help that dragonfly season is also mosquito season, which means I also don’t want to hold still very long. I do see many amber wings and Halloween pennants, but they are quite busy so not so many photos.
And no, I can’t tell one blue dancer from another. I do know powdered dancers. They hang around the swimming pool with me.
Powdered dancer from last April
I’d love to know what dragonflies and damselflies some of you see elsewhere. I’ll have to look up their ranges.
Today was good. One of my friends had asked our chat group if anyone had certain essential oils. I thought to myself, why, I have a considerable amount of essential oils. I could give them to her so she wouldn’t have to spend all the money to buy them. Then I realized I now only use one or two oils, so ten years’ worth of collecting was just sitting there. I decided to give it all away.
Free as a dragonfly! A blue dasher.
I could barely carry the bag full of oils in boxes, bags, etc. into the restaurant for lunch. I laughed as my friends descended on those bottles of oils like magpies spotting shiny objects. The one who needed the oils to tend to her llama went first, and she found all she needed.
I got joy out of everyone’s chatter and discussion of where and how they were going to use their aromatic treasures. It all went to someone, including the boxes, one of which was a humidor. One friend only took a box! I was just so pleased to know that this stuff I’d spent a lot of money on would get used by people who’d enjoy it. I’m so happy for them.
Later in the day, I gave the phone number we’d been using for our late lamented Air Bnb house to my son’s partner, who is about to lose their previous number. I’m so proud of myself for remembering to hold on to the number for just this kind of occurrence. My reward was hugs and smiles, which made my heart soar. All I want is to make life a little easier for them!
A different topic
This still relates to being nice, but in a different way. I finally got an equine dentist to come out and float our horses’ teeth. Kayli at Walking K Equine Dentistry is charming and enthusiastic. She’s also one strong cowgirl.
Working on Apache.
It’s always fun to watch the horses get worked on. They always feel better with sharp edges removed and irregularities smoothed out.
Dusty wanted to share a story with Kayli.
The best part is when they’re done and recovering from the sedation. It’s pure relaxation. I really enjoyed listening to Spice snoring as she recovered.
Snoozing Paints
I’m glad we found someone who lives nearby to do this work, since it needs to be done yearly and our previous dentist has had trouble with appointments (she’s still very good at the job). Mabel needs to be seen again in 6 months because she has a loose tooth. Or Spice. What a fine memory I have. Good thing Kathleen was with me to remember things and tell fun stories about cattle. We are an interesting team.
More dental work and one donkey.
I’m thinking that, since I hear often that I need to have fewer objects, I should keep my ears open in case someone else needs something I can pass on. It’s uplifting to think that my unused items could be just what someone else needs!
I know it’s blurry. But this water bug looks cool.
I don’t think I’m doing anything more boring than usual. However, the statistics on this blog are suddenly very low. I guess my bird stats were a dud. I’ll keep posting anyway. It’s good to have a few Boring Boomer Bloggers out there, and I certainly don’t do any marketing.
Since Facebook hides posts with links, maybe I should just start posting the whole blog there after I write it here for my email friends. I could get rich via monetization. Now, that’s delusional.
Hope you enjoy the only photo I took today. It’s a tiny skipper. Work will settle down in just a few weeks and I can have more of interest to write about.
The Hermits' Rest 