The Hermits' Rest

Balancing Act

How do you balance work and home life?

I do know many people who have a large a hard time balancing their work and their home life. It’s really easy to check your email before or after your hours of work or just check to see what’s going on in the work chat. Or maybe, just maybe, you’ve got all sorts of ideas and you want to get them down before you forget them. I get it. Work just intrudes on us no matter how hard we try not to let it.

Mr. Bullfrog wants to know if you can tell I tried dictating this post. I sure can. Yuck.

The good news is I’m really lucky. I’m a contract worker and have been for most of my working life. That means I’m only supposed to work 40 hours a week, and I’m only going to get paid for 40 hours a week, and no one expects me to put in extra time just because, you know, I’m getting paid the big bucks. While it’s true I don’t get paid vacations or paid holidays, I do get to stop after eight hours a day. Plus, the way it is right now I am working in Pacific time that gives me time in the morning to enjoy birds or sit and enjoy coffee or hang out with the horses. And there’s still enough time in the evening to do my chores, walk around and see what’s happening, especially in the summer when there’s lots of daylight. So, yeah I work when I’m working and I don’t work when I’m not working. That seems to be the best way to balance your work and your life.

I’m glad I have both work and home life. Each is important.

I’ve been thinking about other balances today. Some friends of mine are going through some hard stuff. If you have a moment, think of my friend Anita, who has lost a long-term animal, Friend, and some other folks, I know who are having trouble with their families and have no option, but to just get through it. That’s hard to get past. Things will swing back into balance, though sometimes it takes quite a while.

And it’s hard to see past all the distractions to find the positives.

Not dwelling on what’s bad and not only thinking about the good things like some sort of Pollyanna person seems to be the best way to keep a balance. That’s why I like living in the moment and noticing the small things that happen. Out here at the ranch we are going to see life and death and everything in between, but it helps us remember that that’s all part of life and all to be treasured.

Like Gulf fritillaries. All are ephemeral treasures.

Here is a bonus funny story from the day. The UPS man came as he often does right before I was supposed to have a meeting. The dogs were barking and barking and barking. Once again, it wasn’t the UPS man that they were barking at oh no. There was a squirrel on the front porch. All I know is that I heard a yelp and Alfred was limping. The squirrel disappeared. UPS man hopefully pointed out. Hey there’s a squirrel on your front porch. I agreed.

I took all the packages and things inside and figured this squirrel was gone and really hoped it wasn’t hurt. Naturally my coworker felt the need to point out to me that squirrels don’t usually do weird things like run up on the front porch so maybe it was sick and giving my dogs rabies or whatever. Thanks Keaton.

My meeting with Keaton lasted about an hour so I went outside to see if I could find the squirrel. Kathleen also went outside a couple of to see if she could find the squirrel. She never noticed it but I spotted a little fuzzy tail, hiding behind a storage container on the porch. There was no way a dog could get to it. But it didn’t look like that squirrel was planning on going anywhere anytime soon, either. I checked on it two or three more times and one time I saw it a little foot sticking up and another time I saw a little nose. It was so cute.

Finally, when Lee was feeding the dogs, we locked the outside door so the dogs couldn’t get out and Kathleen and I managed to move the big container the squirrel was hiding behind. The minute that space was opened the squirrel took off like a rocket. It was not hurt. We were relieved. I’m also relieved that the vet comes on Wednesday and she’ll let me know if any of the dogs look like they’re developing rabies. Alfred is no longer limping and no one else seems any worse for wear. I did find it funny that none of the dogs were smelling the squirrel where it was hiding. Maybe squirrels have some sort of odor disguiser in them. I don’t know.

It was real windy today and last night but the new fig tree made it. I’m happy to say I’ve had a whole day with a fig tree. Every day with a fig tree is a good day, because my last fig tree died a horrible death when many many grasshoppers attacked it. This is not a grasshopper year, though, it’s a mud dauber year and mud daubers do not care anything for trees. Yay.

All right. You all have a good work life balance yourselves, and I will probably be back tomorrow.

PS: I texted my boss right after I finished writing this post. Not very good at doing what I say I do, am I?

We all make sacrifices

What sacrifices have you made in life?

I don’t think anyone I know hasn’t made sacrifices, mainly since I’m no longer hanging around with people who think of no one but themselves. I’m also fairly sure that many sacrifices have positive outcomes. For example, the sacrifice I made to stay home with my sons when they were young ended up leading to meeting so many lifelong friends and my career path. So maybe it wasn’t a sacrifice; it was a good decision.

Maybe I sacrificed a dream to send Drew away, but we are all calmer now.

That’s the thing. Most of the “sacrifices” I’ve made no longer bother me. I honestly don’t feel like dwelling on them. One thing is I wish I had been able to travel overseas when I was younger. But the money was needed for other important things, like college educations and helping out family members. And now that we might have the means to travel to other countries, Lee won’t fly.

If I’m home, I can see when new plants bloom. Violet Ruellia has started.

Not traveling as much lets us invest in our home, though. I’m looking forward to some of the improvements we’ve been discussing, like finishing the pool house and getting the water tanks working. Admittedly, getting more grass in the horse pastures means fewer spectacular wildflowers, but I can sacrifice some of them if we can get native grasses.

We have to save some for the butterflies, like this variegated fritillary.

Everything’s really okay. We can each sacrifice something for the good of us all, at least here. Finding acceptance of how things are has truly made my life happier.

We planted the fig tree in time for more rain. I just hope the wind doesn’t break it.

Purple Martin Mania

I’m still easily tired and low on energy, but I’m glad I was able to go to see the incredible Purple Mountain colony maintained by Mike McCormick and his family near Buckholts. Not only were the birds (a type of swallow) beautiful to watch, but I enjoyed finding plenty of plants, too.

Two stunning males taking a break from insect hunting.

This huge setup of houses and a “condo” is one of the largest in the US. It’s the result of a lifetime of work. We are lucky to be nearby and that our Master Naturalist group has been friends for years.

The setting couldn’t be more beautiful, in a hilly ranch with mixed fields and woods. There are plenty of ponds to attract insects and keep the birds hydrated.

Pond, cattle, and chickens share the land with martins.

It’s a lot of work maintaining all the nest sites, but it’s a labor of love for the whole family. They’ve been responsible for many Martin housing innovations that they share with others, too. There’s a devoted group of Martin lovers throughout North America who provide homes for these birds while the raise their babies each summer who share information.

Two females in the condo, taking a break from egg incubation.

I enjoyed learning new things about these birds, which surprised me since I’ve been educated often about them. For example, larger hawks ignore them, but Cooper’s and Sharp-shinned find martins tasty. Ah, nature.

The houses and condo unit. It holds lots of birds. There are up to 2,000 pairs in good years.

I couldn’t resist the other life around the property. There were plenty of hens and roosters, plus chicks. And there were beautiful white domestic doves fluttering around (as well as Mourning, White Winged, and Inca Doves). The shed area had Barn Swallows nesting in it, so we got to watch them zooming around, too. And a pretty brave rabbit.

After I got tired of being around people, I walked on the little nature trail they’ve built since I was last there. It has very nice bathrooms, too. I had lots of fun adding 75 or so observations for iNaturalist on the trail and in the fields, when I wasn’t distracted by how beautiful the views of the countryside were.

It is a privilege to see this place again and to learn even more about these migratory birds and the environment where they spend their spring and summer, after flying in from Brazil.

Book Report: Foraging Texas

I got this book at the Ladybird Johnson Wildflower Center. I’m sure glad I did, because I thoroughly it and learned how many things right outside the house are delicious. Foraging Texas: Finding, Identifying, and Preparing Edible Wild Foods, in Texas (2021), by Eric M. Knight and Stacy M. Coplin, is the most fun and sensible foraging guide I ever read.

The authors, who apparently know my friend Linda Jo, strike a great balance e between caution and curiosity as they teach about edible plants. First, they insist you read the chapter on toxic plants, some of which I could go take you to right now (very healthy poison ivy vines). I do now know my water hemlock and friends, and simply won’t eat anything growing in the water, at all. Even the yummy ones might have pollutants in them. Sigh.

The authors focus on plants that are plentiful (many, if not most, non-native) so as not to encourage folks to contribute to a species going extinct. You’re heartily encouraged to eat annoying plants like bastard cabbage (they tell you to pull it up after you harvest the flowers, which proves to me that they have met Linda Jo). That woman hates bastard cabbage.

Bastard cabbage submitted by me to iNaturalist.

For each plant there’s a map of where to find it, a thorough botanical description (there’s an index of terms), comparison with any toxic lookalikes, how to harvest, and a recipe. Some recipes are like, just eat it. Other plants seem so hard to harvest that I wonder if it’s worth it. So many stickers and prickles to remove in your prickly pear fruit (tuna) or heart-leaf nettles. I’d say I’ll pass, but those fruit are so tasty.

Prickly pear with developing fruit at top. 2024.

Very few other plants are described as tasting delicious (dewberries are!). Most are okay.

I think the fun is mostly finding edible plants around you and knowing what’s a good hiking snack.

Found these today. You can eat flowers and roots, pink evening primrose.

Today I ate plantain seeds, because there are many in the pasture right now. I’m not going to go gather a bunch to share with the family. I could sneak chickweed in a salad, though. It’s tasty.

Bracted plantain. Much prettier than the kind I ate.

I will probably keep this reference book in the RV for reference when traveling. There are more comprehensive foraging books out there, but I like that this one covers the area where I live and is enjoyable to read. Now enjoy some pasture flowers.

Take that, giant data centers

Like many other rural parts of the US, the county we live in is having lots and lots of farmland bought up to either produce energy or use a lot of it. We have seas of solar farms stretching for miles that were corn or cattle just a few years ago.

Google’s largest solar farm. Right in our county. Opened in 2024. Photo from KTBX.

We are also seeing land sold for our benevolent buddies, AI data centers. There’s a big one going in north of here and I’ve noticed a new electrical substation going in down the road from us, as if there wasn’t already one a mile or so away.

This is under construction now. (I miss Micah Wilson—he was too good to be stuck in our small market)

As you may be aware, data centers use a lot of water. So do suburbs in the adjacent county. (I’m aware that data center proponents assert they recycle water, and I’m sure some of that does occur. But anyway, much of the water in our aquifer is going to people and places who aren’t us.

Many folks in this part of Texas are concerned about our water sources, and concerned about drought, as well. So, Lee decided we should get some giant rainwater storage tanks.

There are two 5,000 gallon tanks now in our back yard. Each will collect water from one of our roofs, the house and the garage. I’m told we can also supplement with city water if necessary, but the hope is to get all our water this way.

Yes, there are filters and stuff. I’m supposed to go to some class about it, after which I can speak more knowledgeably about it. Until then, I shall trust the family member who did take the class already to set it up.

The pad for the garage tank was already built, so now the second pad has to be built and the tank loaded on it. Because of how many water lines, gas lines, and such there are beside the house, the tank will have to block the guest room window. But the residents never open the blinds anyway.

I didn’t think this would happen so soon, but it’s good, I guess. Those data centers can take all the groundwater, but we will still have some as long as we get at least some rain. Yay?

Moving mud around

No blog yesterday, because the day didn’t feature anything worth mentioning to the blogosphere. Today wasn’t much more exciting, since I was mostly problem solving issues of no interest to anyone other than me and a couple of coworkers. At least my mind is occupied!

Some birds are still hiding. This Green Heron thought it was invisible.

It’s been a nice couple of days full of interesting birds, like a Canada Warbler, which of course didn’t pose. We’re getting quite a variety these days.

I enjoyed a visit with this friendly Lark Sparrow. They are brave little guys.

The highlight of the day, at least for those of us in the household who do horse care, is that more work is being done around the pens (rain slowed progress down, but all the rails are back up!). I heard noises outside, and when I checked it out, the tractor was busy moving dirt from the big pile that created our tiny pond into the pens.

The dirt has smoothed out the areas than have sunken in since Kathleen bought sand to put in the pens when they were first finished. The mud from rains, especially where it dripped off the shelter roof, is very slick and no fun for horses or people.

We hope this will help drainage, but it’s been pointed out that the new dirt will just make new and different puddles. And it’s darned clay-ish in this part of the property.

Butterflies drink from the clay mud. It has minerals.

It sounds like the shelter extension will go up soon. It will have a gutter that will drain away from the pens and give the horses a much nicer shelter and a dry shaded place for grooming, hoof trimming, and veterinary stuff.

Bonus photo of a Ruby-throated Hummingbird.

There are even rumors of a concrete pad for bathing. I don’t know…that sounds awfully fancy! It’s fun to dream of, though. And Apache could sure use a bath!

Stormy surprise

I’m too sleepy to write much. We were all kept awake last night from a combination of very loud wind and thunderstorms and upset dogs barking.

Plus we had a bonus dog who wandered onto our porch just before it started to hail. We couldn’t leave him outside in that! Besides, he looked familiar.

Dogs, especially intact males, tend to run off when frightened, and that’s what this guy did. I’m glad we took him inside! He was obviously well cared for and loved people and other dogs. He went to the guest room for the night, to separate him from our guys who didn’t need a new dog in addition to thunder.

Even a nice looking guy like this would be too much.

I posted that we had him on our local lost and found page, figuring we’d check neighbors we didn’t know in the morning if we got no response. By 11pm a preteen girl texted that it was her dog. I asked for proof, since I didn’t want to just give him to someone random who thought he was cute.

Yep same dog. Note Frenchie peeking in back.

By morning I recognized the girl’s name and realized that Benny (his name) used to live next door to my friend Anita in town. Aha. I’d seen him. The family had moved sort of near us. I say sort of, because Benny had made it 2.8 miles to get to our house!

We were pleased to reunite Benny with his family and home pack. I’m also glad they knew he was safe in the storm.

Yes, we had enough rain to finally fill the ponds and send the creek over its banks.

Now I am more confident we will have water all through this year’s dry spell.

That’s good. We turtles like a full pond.

PS: heard that Drew is a regular angel in his new situation and already trail riding. Happy trails to Droodles.

I’m glad it rained, too, because even though I am on the patio, I’m a baby water snake. (just a little guy)

Weird thing about grief

I’m grieving the fact that my horse Drew has gone to greener pastures (literally, east Texas, where it’s damp). I’m grateful for all the very kind words from many of you. It will just take me a few days to feel more centered.

At least I’m happy that I got my fig tree that friends were holding for me. Yay Figgy.

Today reminded me of something I’ve noticed before when I experienced grief. I get really accident prone. This is apparently a known consequence of grieving, in addition to memory lapses and decreased spatial senses (thanks AI). I didn’t put 2 and 2 together and figure out why I was so “off” today until this evening. Now I get it.

Like this mushroom, I’m not quite right.

Nothing bad happened, I just had odd accidents. For example, I was operating the gate to go to the garage and somehow got my thumbnail stuck in the link of a chain in the locking mechanism. That caused me to drop the can of Precious Coke Zero I was carrying. I extricated myself without breaking my freshly painted nail. But when I got into the Jeep to go get Figgy, I foolishly opened the can. Soda all over my clean jeans. Sigh.

I later dropped the phone (it’s fine) and scratched myself on the gate to the chickens. At least I got two eggs today!

And finally, after serving myself some comfort ice cream, I sat down to eat it, and it all plopped out of the bowl onto my cute shirt and the already soda-stained jeans. Sheesh.

I have heard that horses “grieve” the loss of a herd member. I wonder if the remaining four here are grieving or having the most relaxed day in years? I’m not sure. I did ride Apache today, as you could guess from the photo above. He’s getting back into the swing of things again, though being sick hasn’t helped the progress. He did great in the round pen today, but as soon as I walked him out of it, he did an Apache fit and I thought he was going to buck his way back to the barn. But, ha! I remembered the one-rein stop. He stopped.

He had a look on his face like he was very disappointed I remembered how to do that. And I competently got him to follow or lead Dusty and Kathleen around the outside of the pen until he quit thinking about exiting. At least Tarrin taught me something!

My vision for the future. So many chickadees.

Things will improve, I’m sure. We got some good rain this evening. And I got through another Mother’s Day burying my grief over my estranged son. It helped that my other son remembered me and so did my bonus daughter up near Dallas (two weeks until her son is due!).

Oops. The weather service just called. Big storm coming. Lee is bringing Figgy inside the screened porch!

Even when it’s for the best, rehoming an animal is hard

This is difficult to write, because I’m in danger of veering off into blaming myself, berating myself for being such a wimp, etc. But the goal of this post is to focus on what’s best for everyone.

Nope. Dusty isn’t going anywhere. Kathleen now rides him for hours!

As you may know, my little gray gelding, Drew or Droodles, has had some issues ever since he got kicked in the head by Fiona (mini-donkey). His boundaries are not good, and it takes constant vigilance to remind him to give humans and other horses space. Consequently, my son got kicked by him and had spleen damage, I got knocked into a metal fence rail and needed stitches, and just this week, Kathleen got crowded into a fence and kicked. Not to mention damage inflicted on other horses. I just can’t have any more injuries caused by my horse. (Note that I can go on and on about his good qualities—I love him.)

We had already been trying to find him a place where he’d fit in better. We had decided that he needed somewhere he’d be worked with every day by experienced horse people, and where he could have a job.

These guys need to be in a calm environment, too.

Kathleen’s stepson just happens to be a genuine cowboy, trained by his dad and others. He works with a very good trainer who has helped him with a couple of horses who’ve turned out really well. After this last accident, the family agreed to get Drew over there sooner rather than later. The time for waffling over it had ended.

Drew meets his new trainer. And his dog.

I’m convinced that Drew will adapt well to the new style of training he’ll get, and that the education I already got him will speed things up. Being worked with more often will keep his mind busy and build back his muscles. No matter how much I’d hoped for it, my work and travel schedule would never keep him where he needs to be.

So yep, my family and my other horses will be safer. I can work with Apache more easily without Drew raising a ruckus. The water troughs won’t have him chomping on the spigots (though it’s good there’s now a cage around the automatic waterers, since Spice is a big splasher, too). Drew will be in a more suitable situation with the cowboys, ropes, and all that. My hope is he will be happier.

Do I get to ride in this heirloom trailer?

But I’m very sad. I promised him I’d keep him safe, and now after just four years I’ve let him be shipped off. That’s normal, though. Even with his flaws, he was a lot of fun, and his curiosity always made me laugh. Sara said it was bittersweet when I told her. That’s it. Bittersweet.

At least he’s still in the family, and I’ve been promised photos and videos. I’m truly grateful that Drew has found such a good new situation with good people.

Stopping now before I go into blaming myself. It is all for the best, just sad.

Good news: the rods in the horse pens are all back up and properly welded. More safety! More gratitude for the help on this.

Enjoy every dang moment

I say that because I wore my Lynda Barry shirt today, with Marlys saying “dang.”

It’s a comic for people my age and was very funny in the 20th century. Look up Lynda Barry.

But I’m here to tell you I’ve taken my own advice to enjoy every dang moment, and this had a very pleasant day with only a little remnant of The Sickness with No Name. I even got to talk to some friends today about its baffling nature. I’ve missed friends.

I’ve missed these, too. Meadow pinks. I’ll work on a better photo.

And Kathleen felt better enough to do stuff with horses and enjoy family chatting (the men call it BS-ing). We spent a lot of time dreaming up one of those gardens that catch runoff, because we will soon have giant rainwater harvesting barrels that need managing. It’s fun to dream of home improvements. I’ve always loved it.

I don’t know why, but the little depression near the driveway with frogs, crawfish and harmless water snakes doesn’t count as a decorative water feature.

The most fun part of the day was when I took a well-deserved walk at lunch. Though it was a cloudy day, the wildflowers on our roadside made it seem very bright!

Nature’s color palette is vibrant in May.

Because we started getting rain right after the poor bluebonnets and paintbrushes tried to bloom, the second wave of flowers is impressive.

I had a grand time looking at how huge the Engelmann daisies and Gaillardia are this year.

Many springs find those daisies all droopy and sad. Not this year.

Closer to my son’s house, I found the clasping coneflowers (Mexican hats, as they were called until recently) were much more robust than they’ve been in recent years. They make the roadside look like someone planned the arrangement of plants.

With a background of Dickcissels and orioles singing, I couldn’t help but feel thankful. This is why I live out here in rural America. The land and wildlife are always changing and endlessly interesting.

Grateful to be caretaker for this wild patch.

I am convinced I do better work when I can take these breaks. After lunch I churned out a big document and it met with approval. Then my boss took a framework I built and turned it into a project plan of great sophistication and utility. That was energizing to see! Living in the moment even makes work more rewarding, at least sometimes.

Yep, I’m proud of myself for plowing through the rough times. They make good days like today all the more treasured. And now, here’s the photo dump of today’s views.