The Hermits' Rest

Super Fail (plus birds)

Cooking is not my favorite activity but I’m usually fairly good at it. Today was probably my worst cooking failure ever. Well, maybe the time I burned hard-boiled eggs was worse.

Anyway, I wanted to make a roast, and Lee had bought me all the things to go with it. I put it in the oven with potatoes and onions to cook slowly in my covered ceramic baking dish. I added some beautiful carrots later.

When I went to see if the food was cooked, the carrots were charred and smoking. The potatoes in the baking dish were also burned.

It appeared I’d cooked it at the wrong temperature.

I took it all out of the oven and pried the carrots out of the oval glass dish they’d blackened. Then I thought I should soak the dish so it would be easier to clean. You can guess what happened.

Pow!

The second water hit it, the glass shattered. It was still too hot. Lucky for me, shards were contained in the sink and none went down the drain.

That’s all the glass after I got it out of the sink.

Well, the food was delicious, if over-cooked. It added the excitement that was missing from the Super Bowl. I’ll spare you any entertainment analysis. There’s enough of that!

Instead you can enjoy the miniature Danish protest hat I made today using fine yarn and small needles. I’m using it as an accessory on my backpack, since I think wool hat weather won’t be around much longer.

Bird News

Ah birds. Sometimes they poop on you or peck at your fingers when you’re trying to fix their water dish (Darryl Junior). But mostly they’re gently entertaining. That’s very true this time of year when they’re getting ready for migrating, nesting, and love.

The first sign of bird love season is the arrival of the Purple Martins. I’d been hoping the ones who were here last year would return, and sure enough, the first scouts arrived last week. After Merlin Bird ID heard them three days in a row, I looked up blog posts by my friend Donna, who always wrote about them for the Master Naturalist group. Yep, hers usually arrive a bit before Valentine’s Day. I’m so happy we have repeat visitors and that our woodpeckers have made nice homes for them.

Another sign is the male songbirds start singing their melodic mating calls. So far I’ve noticed the Carolina Chickadees, Cardinals, and Mockingbirds are trilling away. Oh boy, I can do without the long, extended Mockingbird sonatas.

I’m expressing myself now. No more chirp chirp.

The Mockingbirds are also doing something unusual, and that’s gathering in groups and chasing each other around, complete with scolding and shouting calls. I wonder if they’re pairing off, dividing up territory, or what?

You can’t see them, but the birds were chasing each other through these trees.

I’m used to seeing large groups of Cardinals, especially after fledging time, but not Mockingbirds. I’ll have to investigate!

Challenging day at work tomorrow, so I’m off to sleep. Thanks for hanging in there with me.

Book Report: The Life Cycle of the Common Octopus

I got this book when I was looking for something different and not all bloody and violent. It said it was in the Barnes & Noble book club, so I figured it wouldn’t be awful. And it’s true! The Life Cycle of the Common Octopus, by Canadian author Emma Knight, is far from awful. It’s just what I needed.

It certainly has a cheerful book jacket.

It’s Knight’s first novel, but she’s obviously an experienced writer. I loved the fact that the writing was so good that it allowed me to focus on the characters, very nice young people going to university in Scotland. (One odd gaffe was that she asked for a bathroom and was laughed at in Scotland, but I know they say “washroom” in Canada.)

The main character is a young woman named Pen, who has a lot of family mysteries to work through, which introduce you to the other interesting characters, young and old, mostly a bit posh.

There’s a lot of discovering one’s sexuality in the book, but as I recall from the olden days that’s what you do at that time. All the people screw up, mean well, and learn. It’s quite entertaining to witness it all developing and to mentally cheer everyone on.

I liked that this book takes part in the not-too-distant past, so current events don’t creep in. Escaping to a familiar time, with familiar problems, and featuring satisfying solutions was great for me. I could use another light but satisfying novel like this.

Today’s color of crocheted squares was a pretty blue.

Warning: it takes a long time until the title makes sense, so just go with it.

You Have to Laugh

I used to know someone who, whenever something odd happened, would say, “I just had to laugh.” She said it often.

I said it today when once again I was so upset by the Racist in Chief, then my job took an unexpected turn. Might as well laugh at how fleeting the sense of things being not so bad can be.

Luckily I just read an essay by a Black womanly journalist (these are pertinent to the story) who said that constantly getting caring folks riled up and feeling powerless might not be the right tactic if we want to head toward some sense of safety and equality. We need to empower our allies and friends to learn to laugh at how desperate some folks are to hang on to their perceived power and status that they do more and more ridiculous things that even their loyal minions are starting to find distasteful.

That’s what all bullies do, try to put others down to build themselves up. Or to massage their egos. I’m grateful that my ego doesn’t need fawning, flattery, and faux awards to build myself up. I just have to laugh at those sad needs of the Head Bully.

Ah, a weekend is welcome right now, so I can gear up to support my colleagues next week. My drive to rally the troops is very strong.

I’ll continue to make attractive squares in sets of nine or ten, too.

And beware that I’m prepared to call out anyone else around me who’s all proud of their white supremacy. I’ve had enough of that crap. Right and wrong are still right and wrong, and racism, homophobia, and misogyny are wrong. That’s not just for us highly educated old white ladies; it’s for everyone. (I think I’m fed up and no longer laughing.)

A Short-eared Owl was hooting when I took this photo.

A Little Good News Means a Lot

After my deep funk last night, I wasn’t all that well prepared for today, but by the time you get to be a senior citizen, you know that “fake it ‘til you make it” is a real life hack. So I hacked my way through the day and have emerged unscathed. The day was fine, successful even!

I got through my long webinar like a seasoned veteran (oh wait, I AM a seasoned veteran). My colleagues helped out with questions and I think everyone was happy enough. And I spent the rest of the day cheerfully doing my things.

And I finally heard that my contract was being extended until June, which pleases me very much. I’d been recruited by another company to do a similar job, but I was more interested in staying where I am, because it’s such a collaborative environment. So, good news there. We will see how I feel this summer about taking a break or what.

Lee and the dogs vote for taking a break.

The other factor that’s encouraged me today was that I realized I’m not waking up every day to worse and worse news in the US. It’s now like 50/50 ratio of disgusting to encouraging! I just hope we can someday go back to not being “led” by lying pedophiles and their amoral puppeteers. Feel free to disagree on your own blog!

Humor break. I set my phone down on the bed with the camera on. I noticed a camera icon on my watch and used it to take a picture from the bathroom! Nice ceiling, huh?

The weather is warming up, too. Birds are singing love songs and Apache may well be starting to shed. Between him and Alfred, the birds have lots of nesting material!

Strength Takes Energy

I have been working hard the past five years or so to stay strong, see the good in the world around me, and like myself.

Damn. That takes a lot of energy. I had to spend an hour today being my confident, most impressive self. I did very well. But once I was done, I kind of deflated.

Right now I just want to sink into the floor and disappear. I’m feeling so despondent about how the powerful abuse the powerless, how fragile friendships can be, and how hard it is to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

My crafting compulsion kept me company. I have cute little rose gold squares to share.

Tomorrow I have to get up and lead a webinar and be kind but firm as I go over more changes in how to use the software I support. I enjoy helping folks out, a lot. It’s simply difficult to muster the energy to project confidence and be clear as I go over complex topics. Confidence, clarity, complexity. That last “c” makes the first two challenging.

I know I’m not alone in feeling burned out from trying to project hope and confidence. I say we all need to give ourselves permission to rest, recover, and recharge as often as needed. It’s not a sign of weakness!

I’m sure I’ll feel better in the morning and enjoy the presentation. if not, I’ll do it anyway.

Crafting Compulsion

I noticed last night that I was feeling “antsy” when I was watching Deep Space Nine with no project in my hands. I’d finished the red hat and both days of February in the other project. I realized I was using the rhythmic knitting and crochet stitches to self regulate. I guess that’s what I’ve done my whole life, with all my lifetime of anxiety. At least my compulsion occasionally results in something useful (or yet another partial project).

I use this fine afghan stitch coaster daily. Crafts CAN be useful!

Not to worry. I recently got inspired and bought the yarn to make what I think will be a pretty blanket, in a very pleasing wool. I’m so tired of acrylic, though it’s the best choice for the temperature blankets.

There are two different types of squares in the blanket, and they are joined with the white (undyed) yarn while doing the final round. I think it will be a lot of fun, and I’ll enjoy the pretty colors.

My first squares and three of the tonal colors.

I also got a good supply of red wool worsted for more hats, too. I hope to make some for friends. This will ensure, as they used to say, “no idle hands” (title of a book about the history of knitting).

I ordered these before I found some really good red yarn in my stash (with moth damage on one skein).

I’ve always turned to the colors and textures to distract myself. I made soooo many socks in the mid 2000s when my beloved job was going down into the chaotic toilet. And when my mom was dying and my relationship falling apart, I made giant, complicated fair isle and Aran sweaters. It helped.

Inadvertent photo of my emotional state. Muddled.

And hey! I can do handwork AND hang out with birds! Win.

Just a Bit o’ Nature

I’m so tired. Trying to work and take in the negativity in the world takes a lot of energy.

The best part of the day was that it warmed up enough to go sit with the birds for a half hour after work. Bluebirds were singing and singing for some reason, which was heavenly. And so many woodpeckers, including Flickers, added to the chorus.

That helped.

Tomorrow is a long day of stressful meetings. At least there are few days like that in this job.

Just keep doing your best. That’s my goal.

Feeling Lighter

I said yesterday that the light was coming, and I really felt it today, and not just because we’re halfway between the winter solstice and spring equinox! Not that I’m complaining that the sun is setting later, because I enjoyed the sunset and full moon tonight.

I just feel lighter and a little more positive after a few small pieces of good news, and I enjoyed good conversations with friends again. I need to keep this friendliness streak going! It’s hard when most of your friends trend towards the hermit lifestyle just like we do.

Our friends Martha and Mike, who often invite themselves to Sunday dinner, struggle like Lee and I do to make the effort, but we all praise Martha for making the rest of us spend time together. At least we admit our struggles to each other. You feel lots less alone when you figure out we all have challenges to push through.

Red hat. It fits. It’s warm. I’m trendy.

All in all I enjoyed my day of finishing my red solidarity hat, donning my Imbolc t-shirt, and gazing at the candles on my Brigid altar.

I was even able to spend a little time birding once it warmed up a little, since it was sunny and calm. A Belted Kingfisher flew right over my head! Now it has to warm up enough for me to sit out and see the Bald Eagle that’s hanging out here.

I can’t miss the turkeys though. Darryl Junior really wants to fly, and his legs pound the dirt like a herd of elephants as he runs and flaps his wings. Good exercise, I guess! Both the birds and horses seem glad for the slight warming trend. Tomorrow should be practically balmy, at least in the 60s.

And here’s January 2026 in its cooler glory.

Enough rambling for one day. I’m all rested and ready to tackle another work week.

Here’s my funky candle collection on the hearth. At least I decorated for a holiday!

Sometimes You Have to Do Chores

Today I did so many items on the to-do list, but at the end of the day, I didn’t feel very accomplished. I was trying to get my chores done so I could spend some time in contemplation, which is what I usually do for this time of year, Imbolc or Candlemas.

One of the things people did in the past was sweep out the house and clean the hearth, as the goddess/saint of this time of year is Brigid, patron saint of Ireland, fire, keeping house, and spinning. Among other things.

No wonder I’ve been in such a frenzy of tidying up (though it may not look like it everywhere In the house). I usually light a bunch of candles, but I will tomorrow night.

Commemorative rock. I’m making one for each sabbat this year.

Chores are things that repeat over and over, just like cleaning your living space, so it’s appropriate I spent so much time getting my journal ready for a new month, cataloging all the birds I’ve seen in January, getting food ready to cook…etc., all of which mostly matters to only me.

Kestrel was bird of the month. Photo by Adam Bowley.

The fowl were happy that one chore was buying a new supply of feed and scratch, along with new meal worms. I wish I could trust the local feed store, because I hate having to drive to the next town to get this stuff and horse feed. It took forever to organize the food, because somehow mice had gotten into my supposedly sealed food bin, so I had to chase them around and scoop them out. Plus there was a rather bold field rat who I had to chase out (not one of the cute cotton rats, a BIG one. I’m about tired of rats. Why don’t those cats I keep seeing eat them?

I also eat mice. And when I run, the earth moves beneath my feet.

And to top it off, lifting the heavy feed bags messed up a nail. Oh yeah, weekly manicure is also a chore, though fun.

At least I was able to get the horses fed and watered while it was above freezing. They are eating like, well, horses. I’m glad I have a lot of hay and that mice can’t get in their food bins.

When I finally got to be indoors, I had to do minutes of the Master Naturalist board meeting from Thursday and put up a blog post. By the time I was done with computer work, my contemplation time was no longer available. A bit of yarn work was all I could fit in. I was disappointed to not finish my hat tonight, but I’ll make it (and finishing January on the temperature blanket) a priority for tomorrow.

Chores never end. Still, stop and acknowledge the change of seasons when you can. The light is coming back!

Organization Overload

Oh my, I don’t even recognize myself this week. You see, one of my “features” is that I love organizing things, but paradoxically, I let things get very disorganized when I get upset about whatever it is. (Expect a disorganized tack room in the future).

When I was a younger person, all my books were organized by fiction, nonfiction, and crafts, and in high school I made my own card catalog and record album catalog. No Excel yet to make spreadsheets. So I’ve always liked cataloging and organizing objects I love.

As a teen, I also loved nail polish and organized my bottles by color, along with my friend Lynn. It kept us out of trouble!

We didn’t have such fancy stuff in the 70s.

I still love nail polish, an odd but fairly harmless hobby. I’ve found that I enjoy nail strips made from real polish to work well for me. I’m good at putting them on (due to being crafty), and they remove with plain nail polish remover—so much easier on my nails than salon manicures. Um, this is all to say that in the past 4-5 years I’ve worn and accumulated some strips. (understatement)

So, my pusher…I mean nail lady…hooked me up with an app that tracks the stuff I use. I entered all the ones I’d already used (I’d posted it in a Facebook group) and then entered all the ones I have, conveniently organized by color and such. I do like organization. Voilà.

and more

The ones in waiting. I use one set a week. I probably don’t need any more.

But hey. It’s organized! Now go off and laugh at me for having a weird and wasteful hobby. I don’t blame you and also don’t care. I think we’re all entitled to odd pastimes as long as they aren’t putting us deep in debt. And I’m not. I realize that this, and a few other hobbies (yarn, shoes) will have to go bye-bye once I retire and am on a fixed income. I’m already not spending as much on horses…

All this cleaning means my hat is moving slowly.

So instead of worrying about all that, I’m doing that organizing stuff I do every few years or so. Yep. That’s the rate at which I organize my craft material. Thanks to those fine new shelves I wrote about last time, I took advantage of having more space in my office closet to drag all my yarn and craft books out of the storage container and put them away.

I’m ridiculously proud of myself for getting this done. I got rid of a lot of stuff I don’t need, and collected many odds and ends of very nice yarn to share with my next-door neighbor. Many boxes went out the door! Yes! I de-cluttered!

Of course, the books are not in any order yet, and I need to sort the yarn by weight better than it is now. At least I have pretty stuff to look at, and all my needles are in one place. I had too many things in too many tote bags. That’s a common knitter/crocheter thing!

I also have my embroidery, needlepoint, and weaving stuff all together. I know where everything is for the first time since I left my house in Brushy Creek. That feels good.

Some bags have projects or future projects in them.

Here I go down my emotional wormhole…

In this big clean-up, I got rid of a lot of the emotional baggage from people who made doing my hobby less than fun. It’s like with the horses—I need to separate the things I love (knitting, horses) from people who hurt me deeply. It’s about time in that knitting thing! But I got through the La Leche League stuff, the mean dog guy here in Cameron, and (mostly) my psychotic sister. I can do this!

So, I wonder if I’m brave enough to tackle my clothes closet? I have so much to pare down there. It needs a cleanse of negative energy! Who’s hiding in there?