The Hermits' Rest

Dream Home Thoughts

Write about your dream home.

I’m surprised the prompt writers don’t have me down as having responded to this one. But I’ll give it a try, with a bonus.

So my dream home is probably right where I live now. At least I have all I really ever wanted here, though I could dream of being somewhere with less cow poop and more forest. But I cannot complain about this house I helped design and picked all the materials for, inside and out. I have an office, a den, a yarn closet, a big bedroom, a kitchen with red tile, and a screened porch. Outside I have my very pleasant swimming pool for hot summers, a birding hut, a hut for actual birds, and a pasture full of beautiful horses. Plus we have plenty of dogs and space to house family members.

I’m very privileged. And oh yes, there aren’t other houses crammed all around me. I mostly see fields, trees, and a couple of neighbors.

I admit my house in Austin on the hill surrounded by greenbelts was sort of a secondary dream house and I really miss it. But you can’t have two at my pay grade.

As for the bonus, I wanted to talk about the avian dream house where the fowl here live. I think they don’t realize how lucky they are to have a hen house, a turkey hut, and a big run where someone tosses fresh greenery to them daily.

These gals love greens. And chicken scratch.

But I do know that Darryl Junior, my favorite pecker, thinks his water dish is a dream come true. That giant white behemoth can’t stop himself from poking it, stomping on it, and trying to break it.

Today I finally got the hose unhooked from it and replaced it properly so the automatic waterer feature would work again. That’s no thanks to Darryl and his “helpful” urges.

Clinton eating dinner next to the functional water dish.

At least the horses didn’t bust out again like they did yesterday. Someone undid the chain holding the gate shut! I’m pleased that they’re so obedient that when I call them and look like I might have a food dish, they gallop right back into their pen. See, this ranch is a dream come true.

Pushing off Retirement

I had to write a very boring post yesterday because I was busy thinking about things I couldn’t talk about. But today I can say that I’ve decided to keep working at least through the end of the year.

I know a lot of people really look forward to retirement so they can relax in their golden years. I was sort of hoping to spend a lot of time with my horse activities when my contract was up, but I no longer have a horse community. I wanted to travel, but Lee won’t fly, and my hopes of traveling with Anita have fizzled out due to sickly dog and working 6 days a week.

So I’ll keep busy doing interesting work with nice people (and TV traveling while working). I’d been recruited heavily for a job that was interesting but in an industry I’m not fond of. When the chance to gradually move to a new role where I already work came up, I happily agreed. It will be slightly different, so a good change.

I’m relieved to have some personal good news to balance other stuff out. Having some disposable income for a while longer will allow me to donate more to good causes at this crucial time. That’s what really pleases me—I can help out.

Now I must sleep. I’m in a food coma from celebratory pizza.

Little Bits

Something I read on social media reminded me of how much I dislike being told to smile. My response to the person writing about it was that I’m not a dog performing tricks on command. I guess that makes me a disobedient bitch. Ha ha.

I ordered Pampered Chef stuff, because my ground beef masher broke and I wanted another baking dish. It helped Kathleen and I got stuff I wanted that will last a long time. My off-brand masher thing only lasted two years. Not good.

I’m enjoying my new afghan’s colors. I’m happy to have numerous projects again.

I’m missing one finished color. Two more to crochet

There had been an old television in my office for a very long time. My son took it away! Space!

I’m still figuring out work stuff, but my great attitude is making it easier. Yes. I have a great attitude. See, I’ve matured.

Not smiling but not getting upset at change.

I still don’t understand the appeal of crotch clutching in musical performances. I accept that the popular culture bus has driven off and left me.

But his heart was in the right place. Wish he’d clutched that.

Super Fail (plus birds)

Cooking is not my favorite activity but I’m usually fairly good at it. Today was probably my worst cooking failure ever. Well, maybe the time I burned hard-boiled eggs was worse.

Anyway, I wanted to make a roast, and Lee had bought me all the things to go with it. I put it in the oven with potatoes and onions to cook slowly in my covered ceramic baking dish. I added some beautiful carrots later.

When I went to see if the food was cooked, the carrots were charred and smoking. The potatoes in the baking dish were also burned.

It appeared I’d cooked it at the wrong temperature.

I took it all out of the oven and pried the carrots out of the oval glass dish they’d blackened. Then I thought I should soak the dish so it would be easier to clean. You can guess what happened.

Pow!

The second water hit it, the glass shattered. It was still too hot. Lucky for me, shards were contained in the sink and none went down the drain.

That’s all the glass after I got it out of the sink.

Well, the food was delicious, if over-cooked. It added the excitement that was missing from the Super Bowl. I’ll spare you any entertainment analysis. There’s enough of that!

Instead you can enjoy the miniature Danish protest hat I made today using fine yarn and small needles. I’m using it as an accessory on my backpack, since I think wool hat weather won’t be around much longer.

Bird News

Ah birds. Sometimes they poop on you or peck at your fingers when you’re trying to fix their water dish (Darryl Junior). But mostly they’re gently entertaining. That’s very true this time of year when they’re getting ready for migrating, nesting, and love.

The first sign of bird love season is the arrival of the Purple Martins. I’d been hoping the ones who were here last year would return, and sure enough, the first scouts arrived last week. After Merlin Bird ID heard them three days in a row, I looked up blog posts by my friend Donna, who always wrote about them for the Master Naturalist group. Yep, hers usually arrive a bit before Valentine’s Day. I’m so happy we have repeat visitors and that our woodpeckers have made nice homes for them.

Another sign is the male songbirds start singing their melodic mating calls. So far I’ve noticed the Carolina Chickadees, Cardinals, and Mockingbirds are trilling away. Oh boy, I can do without the long, extended Mockingbird sonatas.

I’m expressing myself now. No more chirp chirp.

The Mockingbirds are also doing something unusual, and that’s gathering in groups and chasing each other around, complete with scolding and shouting calls. I wonder if they’re pairing off, dividing up territory, or what?

You can’t see them, but the birds were chasing each other through these trees.

I’m used to seeing large groups of Cardinals, especially after fledging time, but not Mockingbirds. I’ll have to investigate!

Challenging day at work tomorrow, so I’m off to sleep. Thanks for hanging in there with me.

Book Report: The Life Cycle of the Common Octopus

I got this book when I was looking for something different and not all bloody and violent. It said it was in the Barnes & Noble book club, so I figured it wouldn’t be awful. And it’s true! The Life Cycle of the Common Octopus, by Canadian author Emma Knight, is far from awful. It’s just what I needed.

It certainly has a cheerful book jacket.

It’s Knight’s first novel, but she’s obviously an experienced writer. I loved the fact that the writing was so good that it allowed me to focus on the characters, very nice young people going to university in Scotland. (One odd gaffe was that she asked for a bathroom and was laughed at in Scotland, but I know they say “washroom” in Canada.)

The main character is a young woman named Pen, who has a lot of family mysteries to work through, which introduce you to the other interesting characters, young and old, mostly a bit posh.

There’s a lot of discovering one’s sexuality in the book, but as I recall from the olden days that’s what you do at that time. All the people screw up, mean well, and learn. It’s quite entertaining to witness it all developing and to mentally cheer everyone on.

I liked that this book takes part in the not-too-distant past, so current events don’t creep in. Escaping to a familiar time, with familiar problems, and featuring satisfying solutions was great for me. I could use another light but satisfying novel like this.

Today’s color of crocheted squares was a pretty blue.

Warning: it takes a long time until the title makes sense, so just go with it.

You Have to Laugh

I used to know someone who, whenever something odd happened, would say, “I just had to laugh.” She said it often.

I said it today when once again I was so upset by the Racist in Chief, then my job took an unexpected turn. Might as well laugh at how fleeting the sense of things being not so bad can be.

Luckily I just read an essay by a Black womanly journalist (these are pertinent to the story) who said that constantly getting caring folks riled up and feeling powerless might not be the right tactic if we want to head toward some sense of safety and equality. We need to empower our allies and friends to learn to laugh at how desperate some folks are to hang on to their perceived power and status that they do more and more ridiculous things that even their loyal minions are starting to find distasteful.

That’s what all bullies do, try to put others down to build themselves up. Or to massage their egos. I’m grateful that my ego doesn’t need fawning, flattery, and faux awards to build myself up. I just have to laugh at those sad needs of the Head Bully.

Ah, a weekend is welcome right now, so I can gear up to support my colleagues next week. My drive to rally the troops is very strong.

I’ll continue to make attractive squares in sets of nine or ten, too.

And beware that I’m prepared to call out anyone else around me who’s all proud of their white supremacy. I’ve had enough of that crap. Right and wrong are still right and wrong, and racism, homophobia, and misogyny are wrong. That’s not just for us highly educated old white ladies; it’s for everyone. (I think I’m fed up and no longer laughing.)

A Short-eared Owl was hooting when I took this photo.

A Little Good News Means a Lot

After my deep funk last night, I wasn’t all that well prepared for today, but by the time you get to be a senior citizen, you know that “fake it ‘til you make it” is a real life hack. So I hacked my way through the day and have emerged unscathed. The day was fine, successful even!

I got through my long webinar like a seasoned veteran (oh wait, I AM a seasoned veteran). My colleagues helped out with questions and I think everyone was happy enough. And I spent the rest of the day cheerfully doing my things.

And I finally heard that my contract was being extended until June, which pleases me very much. I’d been recruited by another company to do a similar job, but I was more interested in staying where I am, because it’s such a collaborative environment. So, good news there. We will see how I feel this summer about taking a break or what.

Lee and the dogs vote for taking a break.

The other factor that’s encouraged me today was that I realized I’m not waking up every day to worse and worse news in the US. It’s now like 50/50 ratio of disgusting to encouraging! I just hope we can someday go back to not being “led” by lying pedophiles and their amoral puppeteers. Feel free to disagree on your own blog!

Humor break. I set my phone down on the bed with the camera on. I noticed a camera icon on my watch and used it to take a picture from the bathroom! Nice ceiling, huh?

The weather is warming up, too. Birds are singing love songs and Apache may well be starting to shed. Between him and Alfred, the birds have lots of nesting material!

Strength Takes Energy

I have been working hard the past five years or so to stay strong, see the good in the world around me, and like myself.

Damn. That takes a lot of energy. I had to spend an hour today being my confident, most impressive self. I did very well. But once I was done, I kind of deflated.

Right now I just want to sink into the floor and disappear. I’m feeling so despondent about how the powerful abuse the powerless, how fragile friendships can be, and how hard it is to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

My crafting compulsion kept me company. I have cute little rose gold squares to share.

Tomorrow I have to get up and lead a webinar and be kind but firm as I go over more changes in how to use the software I support. I enjoy helping folks out, a lot. It’s simply difficult to muster the energy to project confidence and be clear as I go over complex topics. Confidence, clarity, complexity. That last “c” makes the first two challenging.

I know I’m not alone in feeling burned out from trying to project hope and confidence. I say we all need to give ourselves permission to rest, recover, and recharge as often as needed. It’s not a sign of weakness!

I’m sure I’ll feel better in the morning and enjoy the presentation. if not, I’ll do it anyway.

Crafting Compulsion

I noticed last night that I was feeling “antsy” when I was watching Deep Space Nine with no project in my hands. I’d finished the red hat and both days of February in the other project. I realized I was using the rhythmic knitting and crochet stitches to self regulate. I guess that’s what I’ve done my whole life, with all my lifetime of anxiety. At least my compulsion occasionally results in something useful (or yet another partial project).

I use this fine afghan stitch coaster daily. Crafts CAN be useful!

Not to worry. I recently got inspired and bought the yarn to make what I think will be a pretty blanket, in a very pleasing wool. I’m so tired of acrylic, though it’s the best choice for the temperature blankets.

There are two different types of squares in the blanket, and they are joined with the white (undyed) yarn while doing the final round. I think it will be a lot of fun, and I’ll enjoy the pretty colors.

My first squares and three of the tonal colors.

I also got a good supply of red wool worsted for more hats, too. I hope to make some for friends. This will ensure, as they used to say, “no idle hands” (title of a book about the history of knitting).

I ordered these before I found some really good red yarn in my stash (with moth damage on one skein).

I’ve always turned to the colors and textures to distract myself. I made soooo many socks in the mid 2000s when my beloved job was going down into the chaotic toilet. And when my mom was dying and my relationship falling apart, I made giant, complicated fair isle and Aran sweaters. It helped.

Inadvertent photo of my emotional state. Muddled.

And hey! I can do handwork AND hang out with birds! Win.

Just a Bit o’ Nature

I’m so tired. Trying to work and take in the negativity in the world takes a lot of energy.

The best part of the day was that it warmed up enough to go sit with the birds for a half hour after work. Bluebirds were singing and singing for some reason, which was heavenly. And so many woodpeckers, including Flickers, added to the chorus.

That helped.

Tomorrow is a long day of stressful meetings. At least there are few days like that in this job.

Just keep doing your best. That’s my goal.