Mourning Relationships

I didn’t write a blog post yesterday, because I was too caught up in an unexpected wave of emotions. I found out that another of my mentor/friends from my time in La Leche League had passed away quite unexpectedly. Mentor/friend. There’s a concept. I truly believe that everyone we get to know, even a little, teaches us something. Everyone who becomes a friend teaches us something we need to learn that will help us.

Losing Gail Moak, who was a friend and mentor to so many stunned and pained me. As I sat with my grief (when I finally got a moment) it occurred to me that what I am mourning more than anything is the end of opportunities to listen to Gail, to learn from her, and to support her when she needs support.

Luckily, my mentor/friend Nancy called right about then, as I was sweeping the front porch to dissipate my feelings of helplessness, and she understood what I meant when I told her I don’t mourn the loss of life, because I know that happens to us all; I mourn the loss of a real-time relationship. Wow, I really value relationships with people I care about.

Last night’s sunset comforted me, as the Earth often does in its perspective

I think I mourn losses of friendships the same way. When the incident with our Bobcat book club happened, I ended up feeling so sad that I’d lost the chance to connect with, learn from, and support some women I’d come to think of as friends. They’re still alive, but our relationship died. It still hurts.

There’s that cliche that people always say after a loss, something like tell those you care about that you love them, or hug your family now. I can understand where that impulse comes from. My dearest wish, when it comes to my friends and family, though, would be that they are secure in the knowledge that I value my relationship with them, whatever it is, and that I will mourn it when we part, however we do part.

There’s so much we don’t know. But we do know our connections are vital for our spirits.

Just a bit about Gail. I knew of her when I worked with La Leche League, but never met her until I was asked to serve on the Board of Friends of LLL, the group for retired Leaders and supporters of the organization. We worked closely on the newsletter when I was editor, spoke often during meetings, and communicated very much on social media.

Gail is at far right here.

I got to know what a caring person she was, and not just about mothers and babies. She was passionate about equal rights for all people and didn’t just talk about it, she acted. I learned ways to be a stronger ally for my Black, brown, and indigenous friends from her. I saw her kindness toward the LGBTQIA+ community and felt a kindred spirit in how she expressed love and, crucially, support for people trying to be themselves in an increasingly hostile environment.

I dedicated this butterfly to Gail’s spirit

Most important, she was one of my many Christian friends who remind me that there are Christ-like ways of following that tradition where all are loved, not just rich, white males and their followers.


I just had to get all of what’s been stewing inside of me out. Writing things down always helps ground me. Life without both my friends Johanna and Gail will be hard. Both of them will leave a little black hole in Zoom meetings where their squares should be, but my heart will be full of memories of my relationships with these mentor/friends.

Thanks to all of you readers who have touched me. You DO make a difference and you have each taught me a lesson (some fun, some not so fun). I’m very grateful to you all.

A Nice Lull

The good news is I feel better today. I was even able to ride Drew. Taking it easy was a good idea.

I was up in the middle of the night and got this weird picture of the orange moon rising, through the smudgy window.

I had a lot to do today but nothing too stressful. After our weekly friends’ lunch, Anita came over to get the Red House ready for guests while I did a bunch of meetings. It’s nice to hang out. And after work, we sat on the porch, taking advantage of the sunshades.

We love the porch just like the previous owner did.

I did scare a big moth while I was sweeping the porch. It’s beautiful.

Agrippina Underwing moth

After this peaceful break, all I had to do was hang out with my friends the horses and chickens, then float around in my pool of dreams.

Nice evening for floating.

Kathleen and I even saw another one of those cool spider wasps dragging along a hapless wolf spider. It must be wasp breeding season.

It’s really a relief to have a lull with no stress or drama. Even Lee had a good day! We are going to all enjoy the pleasant and peaceful lull while it lasts.

Let’s have fun!

You Can Do It, Too: Nature Blogging!

Someone told me last week that they just couldn’t understand how I’m able to observe so many things around me and have time to document it. I’d never thought about it being a challenge. It’s just what I do. And I find it so rewarding and fun to keep learning about life around me.

There’s always something to see!

So, in true formulaic blogger fashion, I’m going to list ways that you, too, can become a nature blogger (or at least a nature noticer).

1. Look where you’re going, up and down. When I lived in suburban Brushy Creek, near Round Rock, I always took long walks through my neighborhood, long before there were the great trails they have now. I tried to get my housemate, Jeff, to come along. He said it was boring, just going by those same houses every day. That flummoxed me. For me, I saw something different every day. The seasons changed, different flowers bloomed, birds flew by…but you had to look. Literally, there’s always something interesting to look at if you make an effort.

Today I looked up and saw a vulture stretching his wings.

2. Record what you see. I never go outside without my phone, because invariably there will be something I want to remember, even if I’m just checking the mail or gathering eggs. It takes a little practice to get good phone photos, and if you read this blog, you’ll know some of my images aren’t great, but they document what I’ve seen and let me look up more information.

I wanted to know more about this guy. It’s apparently a young garden spider. I’m not sure.

3. Educate yourself. The reason I took the Master Naturalist class in 2018 was that I wanted to know more about where I live. This way I know what’s normal for this area and what’s unique. I learned how to use iNaturalist to narrow down what I see and to get more from Wikipedia and other sources. Just using the ID function on your phone or a simple identification app will quickly teach you what you’re likely to see and what to look out for.

4. Use all your senses. Listening for birds, butterflies, grasshoppers, and frogs helps a lot in knowing what’s around you. I wish there was a Merlin Frog ID app and a similar one for crickets and other insects. I hear them but only can ID a few frogs. And don’t forget the sense of smell! I know when rain lilies are out before I see them, and I’ve mentioned how lovely the aroma of bluebonnets and white clover can be!

The bluebonnets are just about done. This genista broom moth caterpillar found one.

5. Write it down or log it somehow. You’ll never remember all the things you see. That’s why I upload my photos to iNaturalist and add notes. It’s also really why I blog. I want to remember the stories behind where I’ve been, what I’ve seen, and how it affects me. I have a record of how the weather changes and what new things pop up. A notebook or journal is another great option. You can log the temperature and make art, like the afghan I’m making, or keep records of rainfall through the years like my husband does. It’s fascinating to analyze.

This temperature blanket has turned into a monster. I’ve decided I’m making it in 3 parts and sewing it together later.

6. Keep at it. That’s the key. The longer you make the effort to observe the world around you, make a record of what you’ve seen, and written up notes, the more you’ll have to compare, the easier it will be to identify who shares this world with you, and the more likely you are to want to care for the planet that cares for you.

Sorelvine in bloom.

Well, that’s what I think. I’m glad I got to get out a little today and look around. I’ve not been feeling well for a few days, so I’ve been taking it easy. I’ve got plans to help me handle the heat better than I did over the weekend! Now enjoy the outcome of my observations today, of the ranch in late spring.

Nature Discoveries Liven Up Our Day with Joy

Describe one simple thing you do that brings joy to your life.

I can answer today’s blog prompt easily, because it fits in so well with what I wanted to talk about, anyway. If you didn’t already know this about me, I’ll tell you what I do that brings me joy: it’s discovering new things about the nature around me. Today was a great example.

There’s always something to look at.

Today I’d intended to relax and recover from yesterday, but the life around here kept pulling me in. I’ve been careful where I go lately, since scorpions appear to be this year’s plague. I found one in my bath towel, then one in an outdoor chair cushion, and finally one out in the grass, where they should be. That didn’t bring much joy, though.

Scorpion hiding by a rock.

What brought me great joy today were two discoveries. First, I found a plant I’d never noticed before!

Nodding green violet Pombalia verticillata

It’s tiny! I know I’ve seen the plant, but never these beautiful flowers. I was extra disappointed to see it has no Wikipedia article. It appears to be native to the southwestern US and northern Mexico. I just adore it’s secret beauty.

From more of a distance.

The second nature observation came when Anita and I were sitting by the pool drinking wine, since I was too tired to cook a big dinner. Anita said something like what the hell is that, and I looked over to see a weird creature.

What the heck?

We quickly realized it was a wasp dragging a large wolf spider. It was making progress, too. At one point the wasp left, so I could get good photos of them separately. The first thing I did was find out what kind of wasp it was. I knew it was pretty, with a striped abdomen and blue-black wings.

Well, duh, it was a spider wasp! I looked deeper into these wasps (so glad I had my phone right there) and found out this was a female wasp, and that these wasps prey on large wolf spiders. They take them to their nests, which are shallow depressions in the dirt, and lay their eggs in the spider. Mmm.

Anita said I should get a video, so I did, forgetting to turn the camera sideways. The link is on Facebook because I can’t get it to load here. But it’s cool to see how fast the wasp drags the spider and how she climbs stairs with it. We were glad when she finally found the edge of the patio!

That was really fun. Besides that, we got to see a great blue heron right in the other side of the fence, and, right after I played the call of the yellow billed cuckoo for Anita, one flew over and made its call. I hope it hadn’t heard me.

I had other fun with domestic animals, too. The chickens were something else. Sigh. I found a small mouse in their feed, so I got it in a cup and tossed it outside, thinking I’d done a good deed. Oops. I looked out the door and realized Buttercup had instantly pounced on it. Who needs a cat, right?

Buttercup, center, points out that mice are more nutritious than tortilla chips, which Lee gave them.

In a cuter chicken anecdote, I was hanging out with Bertie Lee, the smartest chicken, and she drank out of my cup of water. I love watching them drink. She won’t let me pet her, but Billie Idyll will. They are all so different!

Bianca likes to March.

The horses were glad I was home and back into our normal routine. I found them conferring about it today.

Yes, things ARE much nicer when Suna is here to give us food and treats.

Apache wasn’t even grumpy from working so hard yesterday! That brought me joy, too.

My three horses.

Apache and Suna Try Again

As I mentioned yesterday, there was a horse show for our Working Horse Central. It was the Summer Sizzler and lived up to its name. A bit humid and hot for some of us delicate flowers, but really not all that bad.

Me and Apache before things got going

It was a great show with many participants, including a good number of youngsters. They really did great, even when their horses weren’t cooperating. And one young woman was kind enough to lead and help out most of them. This really impressed me. That girl will be a good trainer in the future.

Here she is doing lead line on an extra cute pony. Way better than Drew and I ever did!

Apache and I did the best we’ve ever done, according to Sara. I was annoyed that I messed up the pattern in Functionality. I know we could have done better, but we each did our best. Apache did better on the Trail part, though I messed up the flag carry and he knocked over some blocks and really didn’t like the gate. Oh well. We did great trotting! Not great form or aids, but we improved.

I got hot and tired.

We don’t have any pictures of me and Apache yet, because no one other than Tarrin’s son took any (Sara was helping me during the last two parts). But I took some of her. And I’m glad I did, because she and Aragorn did their best performance ever.

Some fine cantering

After their first event, I had goosebumps. It was so beautiful. She and Aragorn even got blue ribbons for this performance, over our much more experienced friend. We are all thrilled for her! Of course, our friend also did well and it was great to watch her and her horse, too. And her show outfit, which is all Spanish.

Look at his bridle decoration flying around.

The whole time was impressive. All the horses and riders have made great progress. I was so happy to see this. Tarrin told everyone this, too. It helped me see that I shouldn’t be so hard on myself!

Ribbon time. That’s our dear body worker, Jackie, with me and Tarrin.

There ended up only being two entries in our class, because another friend wasn’t feeling well and the heat would not have helped a bit. So, we’re number two this time! I don’t mind at all, because Jackie and Jambo did great. It’s so fun to watch them together.

We’re all tired.

It was a fun day other than the heat making me a bit emotional for no good reason. I’m so glad we have our community of Tarrin’s students to support each other and grow together! I feel very lucky for myself and my horses.

And we have fun. A couple of folks posted photos of their sleeping passengers on their ways home. So Sara and I shared this. I should not have let the driver fall asleep. Ha ha.

Our poor horses were certainly glad to get home. They looked pretty good, since we’d wet them down nicely before we left. I had so much nice bonding time with Apache, since he got a bit bored and agitated by himself. He was doing everything I asked of him, so it was the least I could do to walk him around and let him nibble some grass. And hey, he didn’t break any more of my toes; he just stomped on his bridle. Good boy.

Back home at Sara’s, with pretty clouds.

Here are a few random photos from the day. I hope some make you smile.

Serene Equine Interlude

This afternoon my neighbor Sara and I managed to pack all our luggage as well as our horses’ luggage, and brought Apache and Aragorn up to the Watts Way arena for the summer Working Horse Central show. Yes, we know it’s technically spring. It sure is hot and humid right now, so all the hay toting and equipment wrangling made me sweat.

Look, the moon is full!

We had a very pleasant drive up to the Brennan, Texas area, and easily got our horses set up in their stalls. I’m really glad for the collapsible wagon I now have. The air was so still that we sweated here, too. I was glad when Sara’s friend, Kate, bathed her beautiful stallion, so I could enjoy the spray.

Another moon shot.

Kate left to go have dinner, so Sara is looking after Volem, the white stallion. We decided our guys needed a treat, so we took them for a walk in a pasture that was recently hayed. It was so peaceful.

We all enjoyed ourselves!

Aragorn and Apache munched on grass, and Sara and I enjoyed looking at the beautiful horses here. Three were very curious about our guys, and it was fun watching them running around.

They are grazing behind the fence.

It was so relaxing to be in a quiet, very well cared for space. I think both the horses and humans relaxed!

We are lucky to be staying at the little apartment on the grounds. It’s almost as nice as the RV, plus Lee doesn’t have to waste a day!We’ve enjoyed the view and all the amenities, which I hope will allow us to do our best tomorrow!

What a pleasant day. I’m grateful to be able to do this with all my horse friends! I feel well prepared. Let’s hope Apache does, too.

Crops Cropping Up?

Well, that’s an exaggeration for sure. But hey, I did find one plant volunteering on the fence line next to where the chickens used to be. It’s a squash! Now I just hope no one gets it with the weed eater.

Squash blossoms are lovely.

My other “crop” is a potato that’s growing where I put some old ones to add to compost. We will see if anything grows. At least it’s something green. I have such bad luck growing things here.

Free tater

My only other crop is my poor asparagus. It got weedeaten. I can’t blame our helper; it’s in with a bunch of annoying native plants (weeds) and some sorta edible native plants we don’t eat. That’s because all my plants failed. But look at it! It’s coming back. I’m going to put my weird tomato stakes on my volunteer and hidden crops so the kind people who take care of the yard will know what’s not a weed.

That’s what I have for you today. I’m tired from training people at work, from waking up extra early, and four hours of horse stuff in the sun. All this was fun, though. The horses are making me proud, and I’m figuring out lots of the things I need to work on! I’m looking forward to a weekend show and learning more. Check out these running boys. Tarrin worked them HARD, but she hosed them off later.

Happy trails! And look, Apache is showing good form!

If only I could look less serious when concentrating.

More Waterfalls and Flowers and DUNG BEETLES!

I did promise to finish writing up my trip to Pedernales Falls State Park. Gosh, I hope you like wildflowers and scenery and stinky insects. I had lots of energy for hiking/looking at plants, thanks to sleeping so well. Ahh. Total darkness and no barking or licking makes for great sleep.

Lee needed coffee, too.

So, once I woke up on Sunday morning, had my coffee, and analyzed bird songs (so many vireos), I took off for the other nearby trails. First, I took the Coyote Crossing trail, which led deep into a very humid woodland area and crossed a mostly dry creek that feeds into the river.

There were many interesting fungi, ferns, and vines in the moist environment. I also got to see a ladder back woodpecker. Mostly I enjoyed the deep green solitude.

Once past that trail the scenery was very different, with seemingly endless swaths of black-eyed Susans and their friends. There were lots of new flowers there, and I had one of those “Linda Jo moments” when I got practically giddy over plants. But I didn’t have a fellow Master Naturalist to exclaim to!

The next trail was the one that led to the swimming area of the river. I must admit I forgot there was a river to go to, because I was so mesmerized by the flowers. The trail went down steep steps. Every time I stopped I said to myself that THESE were the prettiest flowers I ever saw.

And there were so many butterflies that I felt like Snow White in the meadow. They were flitting all around me. It was magical!

I finally got to the river, and was happy to see it wasn’t crowded. There were just a few families wading around and playing, plus a woman with a big dog.

Eventually I turned to go back, stopping to photograph lizards and more flowers. I let the family with the dog pass me on their way up, then encountered the dad resting halfway up. I said something about taking it slow because I was a naturalist, and we got to talking about his interest in foraging. Talking to them made me not even notice the steep climb! Finally, someone was interested in my blathering.

They left to take a bathroom break and I headed back along the road, where I found some phlox and other plants that like sand.

The family drove by and asked if I would like a ride back, and to be honest, that sounded good. So I joined them. They said they were thinking of driving to the big falls, and invited me along. I’m glad they did. It was a ways down the road.

We had a fun walk to the falls. The best part was when I saw a dung beetle rolling a ball of poop across the path. Carl (the dad) got all excited, because he didn’t know we had them in Texas. That got the two boys and the wife excited, too. She took movies and we had a grand time watching the beetles while all sorts of people passed us, probably thinking we were weird. But it was educational!

We finally made it to the overlook, and it was gorgeous. We saw a wedding party, too. We were all too tired to go down to the river, but they were going to go Monday morning. I was fine just looking down. The photos don’t do it justice, for sure.

And that’s about it for adventures. The rest of the day we sat outside a lot and went in to watch movies. I don’t know what to think about the Legion of Superheroes movie. They did stay pretty true to the characters…but it was nowhere near as good as Ant Man and the Wasp. Marvel does make a good movie.

Listening to me talk about birds.

Back Home

I was glad to get home on Monday, but sure enjoyed my wallows in nature. I needed that rejuvenation. Of course, there’s plenty of nature here. Just look at the baby birds in a nest on our back door!

Too tired to peep. A storm kept them awake.

Speaking of storms, one showed up out of the blue yesterday and dumped a ton of rain in a short time. It was full of thunder and lightning. The dogs were NOT thrilled, and since I was the only one in the house, all five indoor dogs clustered around me. Penney and Carlton were under my desk. Harvey was beside my chair. Alfred was standing on the other side of the chair panting into my face. At least Goldie just stayed on “her” couch.

Eventually, Penney wormed her way into my lap and did that unbearable wiggling and trying to squirm up to the top of my head, or inside me. I’m not sure what her intent is, but it’s hairy, hot, and whiny. Thank goodness I discovered the guys were stranded in the garage so I “had” to take them umbrellas. That allowed the dogs to distribute themselves among three people. Whew.

Help ME!

And oh yes, I’ve had my dose of cuteness. look at Jhayati! She’s so soft! And like my dad, she’s never met a stranger. Sara is in love. I’m pretty thrilled, too.

What Internet?

Do you remember life before the internet?

This will be short, in grumpy old woman mode. Heck yeah I remember life before the Internet! I voted before Al Gore invented it! I didn’t get a computer until I was in graduate school. It had two floppy disk drives. I got email the next year. No wonder I have such good handwriting. I took so many notes.

I wrote with one of these things!! Actually I still do.

And I typed long, annoying reports on an IBM Selectric typewriter. It had correction tape! Modern! Try doing footnotes with one. I did.

It belonged to my lucky boyfriend.

I even typed an entire book on the Basque language, being paid per page, using three different type balls.

I had so many of these. They typed.

I’m oh, so glad for the Internet, for word processing software, and social media. It’s a privilege we shouldn’t take advantage.

Camping Weekend Update

Long time no blog! I could not get anything but brief Facebook updates to upload, so I just spent quality time with nature and Seneca the RV (and yes, of course with Lee).

See, I was happy.

Pedernales State Park has so many trails! I didn’t get to anywhere near all of them. Plus they have MANY miles of equestrian trails. I went to all the ones I could walk to, though. Actually, our camping spot was right next to the entrance to the Twin Falls trail, so there were no possible excuses to not go there.

The fall is behind the dead branch.

It’s a beautiful pool, surrounded by ferns. It’s off limits to people, but there’s a nice viewing area. And the trail is steep and challenging, but gorgeous, with lots of rocks, ferns, and birds. I’m so glad I have the Merlin app! I now know three different vireos but sound. And the ivory billed cuckoo. What a sound! I heard them all on this trail.

The best part of the trail was the bench where I stopped to rest on the way back up. I sat there for about five minutes, then I heard a noise. It was a doe, a large, sleek beauty. I watched as she went about her business, ignoring me completely. What a treat!

I was full of joy and peace after that walk. For some of rest of the day I sat outside a lot and enjoyed the birds. We enjoyed our neighbors, who were a family with two kids who were truly enjoying their visit. Ee kept having to find their lost baseballs.

Bird watching station.

I got the itch to go out again, so I walked to a place that’s a low-water crossing. It was very peaceful, with only a few other folks around. I had a blast hanging around the cypress trees and finding out what grew along the Pedernales River (pronounced in Texan as “purr-duh-nal-iss”). I got some really cool pictures especially the first one below.

That’s about all I packed into this long and beautiful day. Well, I did do my nails a very patriotic way, for Memorial Day.

I’ll try to write up the rest of the weekend tomorrow. I hope you enjoy some of the things I saw. I put up a LOT of photos on iNaturalist and lots were new to me. I got quite a few birds on my life list!

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