As it is with car accidents, it takes a while to figure out all the places you hurt when you experience a “sudden dismount.” For example, when I’d just found myself on the ground, my shoulder and head hurt the most. But my rear end and arms are now bruised up, not the shoulder. My headache is mild, but all my core muscles are yelling at me. That’s probably from trying to stay up.
I’m completely innocent.
But let me tell you! Aleve (naproxen) is a miracle drug! I took two around 9 am and I felt ok until around 8 pm. They aren’t kidding with that 12-hour claim. Tomorrow I’ll just take one. I could tell I was sore all day, but I could walk, drive, bend over, and pick up 50-pound bags of horse feed. My bicep did complain at the latter, but the horses had to eat and their bins were empty.
I admit I did spend a little time today just watching these guys. (Hackberry Emperor)
Speaking of horses eating things, I was disappointed that Apache stopped taking his Prascend embedded in Sara’s fancy cookies. But she turned me on to something better, which I think Tarrin mentioned, too: sweet senior feed.
Senior feed with molasses FTW.
I guess it’s horse crack, chocolate brownie, or something. It’s pretty much the exact opposite of what Apache should eat. But he didn’t even notice his pill inside a handful of this stuff. Let’s hope it works, because I have 50 pounds of it and I’m certainly not giving it to the other horses.
You can give me more of that stuff!
I’m glad I’m back to enjoying the horses a bit more. They all seem content. It helps that it didn’t rain for two days so the pens aren’t solid mud. Of course, rain is coming tomorrow.
We will eat anything, including coconut.
I had a nice dinner with my son and his partner tonight. They were pretty chipper for people who had just returned from a challenging family trip. They figured out how to make the best of it, which ain’t easy. Those two are really thriving right now, and that makes me quite pleased.
Like this American Snout, they have good perspective (look at its little curled proboscis!)
I guess we are all looking at the positive side of our challenges right now. I hope it’s contagious!
After the hiccups this week, I’m ready for a shift in direction, but I don’t really need one. Little challenges help keep me focused on the big picture, not the tiny dots that make up the totality.
It’s like the temperature blanket, which I need to look at like this every so often, to see the winter flowing into spring. Mostly I look at individual squares.
Today’s challenge was getting stung by a scorpion, even though I’d checked my boots before putting them inn(from now on they don’t stay outside, even if they got all muddy in the stuck-in-the-water challenge earlier in the week). And hey, the intense pain makes me forget the hurt of my big-ass hoof-shaped bruise from Tuesday’s challenge! And I feel the itching from the chigger bites I got in the woods yesterday celebrating May.
It rained a lot, and we kept seeing crawfish crossing the driveway. I almost stepped on the one trying to disguise itself as a leaf. I avoided a crawfish pinch!
It’s all pretty funny at this point, and it reminds me that my direction is shaped by my innate desire to learn how things work. Mostly I want to observe life around me and determine patterns. Today I carefully noted all the different vireos and warblers that have appeared in the last few days. There was even a rose-breasted grosbeak, not common here. I’m curious as to how long they’ll visit during migration.
Yes, this is my best warbler photo. No idea which one it is.
Where I hope I’m headed is to even more internal peace and calm. Watching the seasons repeat yearly with variations but an overall consistency grounds me more and more. I think I’ll need that in the coming months.
Rainy season now; drought soon enough.
I’m driven to try to understand people, as well. Like many of us, some of the things groups of people are saying and doing confuse me, but I’m doing better at seeing how much of it stems from humans needing to belong. Tribalism is not pretty when one feels threatened. I like it much better when it’s about football teams.
Did someone say threat? I better get hopping!
I’m wandering, so blame the Benadryl I took. But I want to recommend a television show we’ve been watching that has been very good for my soul. It’s A Brief History of the Future, which is streaming on PBS. The show looks into where humanity is headed in positive as well as negative ways. I’ve learned a lot about ideas that can heal the planet and make life better for all people. It celebrates differences and commonalities. Worth watching!
Like floods, it all passes. The green in the pond is the usual shore, and the shiny area in back is water pouring in.
I hope you’re enjoying the direction in which you’re headed. I love the daily surprises, both fun and painful. My hope is that they balance out so there’s never a dull moment unless we want one.
What is your favorite holiday? Why is it your favorite?
I’m not very big on holidays, but I enjoy observing the changing seasons. May 1 is Beltane in the tradition I follow. It’s the big fertility celebration where all the flowers are blooming and you dance around the maypole, a thing I’ve done many times.
This cheerful day flower welcomes the changing seasons.
I like a holiday that’s all for fun, isn’t commercialized, and provides a chance to be as wild as you want to be. I’ll probably pick a May basket full of flowers and make a nice bouquet tomorrow.
Lots of flowers to choose from.
That will be after my doctor appointment, where I have to get tests done to be allowed to continue my thyroid medication, followed by the equine dentist, another yearly traditional event at the ranch. I hope I can worm the horses while they’re sedated. That should end the parade of horse health expenses for a while.
We’re worth it, even when we snub you.
Today was a first for me in a couple of ways. First, Drew kicked me for daring to try to groom his right side. He really doesn’t want me grooming him, so I guess I’ve been a bad horse owner and traumatized him.
I feel pretty awful about that and confused about what to do. On the one hand I’m supposed to be firm and set boundaries and on the other I’m not supposed to react. I’ll keep trying. My thigh sure hurts. Interesting that he doesn’t mind me cleaning 3/4 of his hooves, and is happy to be haltered and walk with me.
Second, I gave a living being a shot of medicine. Yes, this was after getting kicked. Drew was fine about that. He gets a shot a month from now on for arthritis pain. I’m proud I remembered how to do it. Maybe Tarrin will think I still have some potential as a horse person.
Speaking of pain and meds, Apache is feeling lots better. I’m pleased that he’s walking and trotting well without the boots on. He volunteered to canter but I had him stop. It wasn’t going well and he was hopping. Still, good news that he tried. He seemed energetic.
Also good is that he is now taking his medication like a champ, thanks to the magical cookies Sara made for Aragorn. Aragorn didn’t like them, but Apache seems to look forward to them. I guess I’ll have to get the recipe!
No new Apache pictures, so enjoy this very large mushroom.
Kathleen says this is my week for challenges, after getting stuck in the mud yesterday and kicked today. I’m trying to adopt her attitude of laughing the challenges off and staying positive.
I’m talking about mentally lighter, here. True fact is that I have been feeling much lighter while I’m on my sojourn in the mountains. I have finally given myself space to breathe and permission to do nothing I “should” be doing for a few weeks. I’ve been able to read, knit, watch silly television movies with the family, and eat whatever I want to, whenever I want to. Nice.
It turns out, though, that I’m not the only one. In my casual reading of email, Facebook, and news sites this morning, I have run across a surprisingly (to me) large number of folks expressing that they feel lighter, better, more free, or less stressed. It’s not everyone. But it’s a lot of people.
I’m glad there really isn’t an elephant in the room.
I’ll address the elephant in the room.*
Lots of people are feeling more free and less vigilant because of the US election results. Some of us are relieved at the Presidential election stuff; others are happy that their party did much better than expected in state and local elections. Still others are just glad for a break from all those ads and such. But, I don’t think it’s all about that.
There are still lots of things in 2020 that can keep us blanketed with concerns. The COVID stuff weighs on everyone’s minds, for sure. There have been exposures in my family, and that worries me, of course. And I keep trying to think of ways to have fun in Utah and avoid crowds of strangers (so far, I’ve done pretty well, though one store I went in last week made me uncomfortable, so I left). Being able to figure out ways to enjoy life, even with restrictions, though, has helped me a lot, and I am thinking others are figuring out ways to be comfortable with their “new normal” (a phrase I’m growing to dislike).
I’ll take it as long as it lasts!
Maybe, just maybe, the way we’ve all been forced to do a lot of introspection and many of us have been spending more time in nature and noticing how we’re all interconnected, maybe that’s helped. I want that to be true. And it has really helped a lot of us focus on the here and now, not what just happened or what might happen. When we realize we are a part of everything, even pandemics fall into place. We just deal with what comes up, every day.
I keep mentioning that finding the good in whatever you’re doing seems to work. Attitude seems matter, lots. I think more and more of us are finding this focus, whether intentionally or not. I know it’s how I’ve gotten through previous politically tough times and times when people I love are ill. I think back to when my mom was sick, when my dad was in his horrible accident and the aftermath of that, the loss of my son’s love, and all the hard times I’ve faced, and I realize that all these times I’ve focused on the current moment, realizing there’s nothing that worrying or brooding can do. We all have these kinds of times, and 2020 seems to have brought more than its share to so many people.
Let’s enjoy feeling a little lighter, even for a short while. Hold these times in our hearts as we figure out what to do with all the upcoming holidays and other challenges. Keep those negative thoughts in their proper place (there is still plenty to challenge us, and there’s no denying it). With the support of our inner circles and a focus on the good around us, I think we can make it.
*Another elephant (symbolically) is that maybe a lot of the people who are angsty and upset are hanging out in their Parler now, so I’m left interacting with people who are coping with life right now.
Lee has been talking about how he’s reframing sentences that start with, “I’ve got to…” with the alternative of, “I get to.” sometimes a simple change like that works!
I’m trying it right now! Earlier I’d asked Lee if he wanted to pick me up some lunch, and join me, since I didn’t see anything at home I was hankering for. He suggested Domino’s, which has sandwiches we like and curbside pickup.
He checked with the folks working across the street, and they said they would join us, and said what they’d like.
Scenic Domino’s. Formerly the fancy farm and ranch place.
Next, Lee told me he has an online meeting he must take from home, so he can’t come (hmm, why did he agree before and choose the venue?). So, I practiced saying, “Oh boy, I get to drive to the pizza place.” And I envisioned getting out of the dungeon and such.
I got there. No food. Had to talk to the owner. Turns out, Lee had ordered in Rockdale. I “got to” call Rockdale and cancel, then “got to” go inside the store and re-order. (Or, I could have gotten to drive to Rockdale and pick it up, which would mean cold soggy food.) Luckily, I was the only customer in the restaurant, we were appropriately masked, and no one touched my credit card. And I have hand sanitizer in the car!
Now, I “get to” sit in the car while the food is prepared. That’s okay! I get to blog, and I came up with a blog topic for today. Score!
Later
I got to have a nice chat with the pizza store guy, and still had piping hot sandwiches and pizza when I got to the office. We all enjoyed our meals.
Mine was actually the veggie sandwich.
See, that have to/get to reframing really does work! All’s well that ends well!
Some people say you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, and I am definitely an old[er]…person. I’ve always thought of myself as a realist, in that I see the beauty and good in the world, but I don’t deny the sadness, sorrow, injustice and pain that’s around me, either. Life is suffering, after all, says the Buddha.
Top that off with a healthy dose of empathy and sensitivity to the moods of others around me, and I end up not being the biggest little ray of sunshine in Central Texas. I have even railed about “toxic positivity” and “non-toxic positivity” right here in this blog, not that long ago.
For me, there’s room for each.
However, in the last few months, life has been conspiring to teach me new ways of walking through life, thanks to some people who just sorta showed up, or I just started paying closer attention to them. And it’s not just reading all those Buddhist articles that help you see that living in the moment is key.
You see, I used to avoid the relentlessly optimistic if at all possible. Always seeing the bright side of things, ugh. “Oh, no, I have the flu.” “That’s great! You can catch up on your reading!” I also got tired of the relentlessly negative, too. I know people who can suck the life out of any conversation by pointing out the negative consequences of anything: “It’s such a pretty day!” “Yeah, but you’ll get skin cancer if you stand in the sun.”
Depending on how you look at life, this may well be true.
I probably have mentioned before that I loathe being told to smile when I am, at the moment, not actually happy. Sure, I’ve read that forcing yourself to smile can make you happier, but sometimes there’s good reason to be unhappy, at least temporarily. Okay, fine.
Look at that happy face!
I’ve been watching the positive people in my life more closely, though. Here’s one you can watch yourself: go follow Emma G on Facebook. That is one positive woman. I happen to know that she’s faced some challenges in the year I’ve been reading her posts, but she never fails to find something good, some way a challenge has helped her grow, or a way something she’s learned can help others. I look forward to that smiling face every day, as she shares how she’s working on her musical career while minimizing danger from COVID-19.
Here, wine is helping us stay positive.
Living with Kathleen the past few months has also been a lesson at looking on the positive side of things. I have never seen anyone post so many cheerful memes in my entire life. Sometimes I’m like, geez, you have insomnia and are sick to your stomach, but you’re still posting “everything’s GREAT” all over Facebook. I see, though, that she’s trying to draw in the good stuff by sharing it (guessing it’s the power of attraction or something). Whatever it is, even when it irritates me a little, I can’t HELP but be reminded to look at what’s good in my own life, which is leading me toward a more positive outlook. She’s another person who’s had some real challenges to deal with in the past year but is finding ways to see the good. She’s never afraid to go talk to someone about our business and get some sort of positive outcome, too. Also, she’s one amazing idea generator. Now she wants me to have a donkey ranch.
This was taken just after Pam gave me a positive pep talk.
Another beacon of positivity is my friend Pam B. from the Breakfast Club here in Cameron. She’s another person who just radiates happiness and works hard to cultivate good in the world. Every time I talk to her, she says something about wanting to “elevate the good” or find joy or something to that effect. She is amazing at bringing people together for the betterment of this small but quite vital community (and is really fun to watch in community theater). Seeing how she works so hard to bring happiness to her friends, neighbors, and families is a real inspiration.
Here’s Eva with the sun behind her, making her even sunnier.
A final source of positive vibes is my coworker, Eva. I’ve known her since I started working at Planview, so I’ve had plenty of time to soak in her attitude. Especially in the past few years, she has provided a great example of how to take feedback that might upset someone or get them down, and turn it into an opportunity to learn more, find a new way to present information, or create a better product. She’s confident in the skills she has, and doesn’t take it personally when I mess with her grammar, because she knows perfectly well that the actual ideas are great. But it’s not just about work, but all aspects of her life that she brings along a sunny attitude and a lot of gratitude. It’s rubbing off, slowly but surely.
Here’s one of Kathleen’s memes.
People like this have been in my life before, some for many years, but I must be in a position to be more open to their input and to learning from them (thanks to those Enneagram books, I guess). I’ve been told that people come into your life for a reason, which is hard for someone like me, who has mostly been convinced that life is random. But, maybe there’s something to it, and something to the idea that if you surround yourself with positive people, you’ll be more positive, even if there’s a pandemic going on.
Another thoughtful meme that I have taken to heart. Some people may wish I hadn’t.
Do you know a relentlessly positive person? If you do, THANK them, and see if you can let a bit of that attitude rub off on you. Things in the world won’t change, but you may be better able to cope with it. I am, thanks to Emma, Kathleen, Pam, and Eva (and all you others I didn’t mention).
Okay, let’s all be SUPER HAPPY! Be a ray of sunshine like Emma, Kathleen, Pam, and Eva!
I am a Lutheran woman, wife, and mother. I enjoy fiber and textile arts such as knitting, crochet, yarn dyeing, cross stitch, embroidery, sewing. I read a lot while working on different projects. I love baking, and cooking for my family.
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The Hermits' Rest 