Beltane reminds me how I’m part of the whole. Sometimes you just need to stand in the woods and feel like you’re a part of it. Bugs, birds, buds, and me. It helps you gain perspective. So I wrote a little invocation with pictures.
Beltane Invocation
Category: spirituality
Early Beltane Greetings
What is your favorite holiday? Why is it your favorite?
I’m not very big on holidays, but I enjoy observing the changing seasons. May 1 is Beltane in the tradition I follow. It’s the big fertility celebration where all the flowers are blooming and you dance around the maypole, a thing I’ve done many times.
I like a holiday that’s all for fun, isn’t commercialized, and provides a chance to be as wild as you want to be. I’ll probably pick a May basket full of flowers and make a nice bouquet tomorrow.
That will be after my doctor appointment, where I have to get tests done to be allowed to continue my thyroid medication, followed by the equine dentist, another yearly traditional event at the ranch. I hope I can worm the horses while they’re sedated. That should end the parade of horse health expenses for a while.
Today was a first for me in a couple of ways. First, Drew kicked me for daring to try to groom his right side. He really doesn’t want me grooming him, so I guess I’ve been a bad horse owner and traumatized him.
I feel pretty awful about that and confused about what to do. On the one hand I’m supposed to be firm and set boundaries and on the other I’m not supposed to react. I’ll keep trying. My thigh sure hurts. Interesting that he doesn’t mind me cleaning 3/4 of his hooves, and is happy to be haltered and walk with me.
Second, I gave a living being a shot of medicine. Yes, this was after getting kicked. Drew was fine about that. He gets a shot a month from now on for arthritis pain. I’m proud I remembered how to do it. Maybe Tarrin will think I still have some potential as a horse person.
Speaking of pain and meds, Apache is feeling lots better. I’m pleased that he’s walking and trotting well without the boots on. He volunteered to canter but I had him stop. It wasn’t going well and he was hopping. Still, good news that he tried. He seemed energetic.
Also good is that he is now taking his medication like a champ, thanks to the magical cookies Sara made for Aragorn. Aragorn didn’t like them, but Apache seems to look forward to them. I guess I’ll have to get the recipe!
Kathleen says this is my week for challenges, after getting stuck in the mud yesterday and kicked today. I’m trying to adopt her attitude of laughing the challenges off and staying positive.
Not So Negative Traveler
What strategies do you use to cope with negative feelings?
I’ll tell you what I do with negative feelings! I squash them down and distract myself with plants! Who can feel bad when they’ve just seen their first mayapple?
One common criticism of Past Suna was that she was sooo negative. That stung, but it led me to get to work on figuring out how to reframe how I interpreted the world around me. That, in turn, has led me to express myself less negatively. It was a lot of effort at first, but I think I’m a lot less negative, in general.
I’ve noticed that lately, when things happen that once would have made me upset, I notice that whatever it was happened, feel angry, annoyed, or sad, but then let it go. How did I finally learn to stop dwelling on things and wallowing excessively? I DO NOT KNOW. My best guess is that all the effort I’ve put into mindfulness, seeing the good in situations, and turning away negative thoughts became second nature after a lot of repetition. Dang, I wish I could have gotten there sooner, but that’s my path!
Here’s an example. Today we were looking forward to picking up Hermee the Jeep and towing him to the Cooper Lake South Sulphur Unit State Park (quite a mouthful) behind Seneca the motorhome. Do you see a Jeep in this picture?
Yep, the towing equipment wouldn’t be done until 4 pm, way too late for us to drive 4 hours and arrive in daylight. It turned out the scheduled technician had a death in the family. Well, I was irritated for one minute, then just made sure we have enough food, and looked forward to the weekend anyway. That guy’s family is more important than having two vehicles. We will get Hermee on our way back.
It’s harder to be negative, too, when you’re looking at life from a wider perspective. Hanging around with nature so much, and working to understand horses and dogs has helped drive home the perspective I need. I remember the world does not revolve around me, I’m part of a bigger universe, and pouting or weeping won’t stop the cycle of life, death, and rebirth. It’s so much better (at least for me) to just sit back and watch the show, tending to matters that are within my ability to control (my own actions).
The fewer expectations I have of those around me, the more at peace I become. And this lets me truly enjoy the goodness and kindness that pours in from the family and friends who care. And they’re the ones that count and bring joy, even in hard times.
Um, anyway, yeah, we have driven to the park we accidentally drove to a few months ago. It’s more wintry in north Texas than at home, but I think I’ll have lots of fun walking around this weekend. The weather should be pleasant.
With no Jeep to get me to trailheads, I’ll get some good walking in. And if it rains, I have loads of knitting and writing to do. It’s all good. It’s weirdly stress free other than concerns for some family health issues. I can’t fix it by worrying, though, so I’ll keep sending out good intentions and doing whatever concrete things I can to be helpful.
And, here are some plants and vultures.
How do you deal with negative feelings? Is it easier or harder as you age?
Fated to Another Good Day
Do you believe in fate/destiny?
Nope. Not at all. Quite the opposite. I’m a big fan of the “sh** happens” school of thought, as a lifelong existentialist. I guess this sort of goes along with my agnosticism. I do feel a connection to the earth and I grant that there may be something we can’t perceive that ties things together, but chaos makes more sense to me. This allows me to enjoy each day to its fullest and not expect either good or bad times to last forever.
If you believe everything happens for a reason or there’s a magical being watching you and causing things to happen to you, that’s fine with me. You may be right. Or I may be. But we both get to enjoy the beauty around us if we look.
It was a fine, fine day to be alive. I spent much of the afternoon grooming horses and riding. In shedding season they need the help. Tomorrow I’ll try to get Mabel to let me groom her. That should be fine, but I also want to de-bur her. Not so fine.
In the Woods, Always
When are you most happy?
I like this question, because it ties in with what fun I’ve been having lately, including last night. In the past year or so since we started camping and I got in the habit of going outside to do some of my meditation, it’s become very clear to me that the woods bring me great joy.
I’ve had so many fantastic experiences in the woods these past months, where I find myself all alone with my heart swelling and a huge smile on my face. Yesterday when I heard the huge murmuration taking flight, when I found a nightjar sitting in a tree, gazing at the huge oaks and elms, watching deer and armadillo grazing with no fear. Ah.
Last night I had another magical woodland experience. I attended a solstice party at a home in the middle of a dense woods. I felt so at peace there from all the good energy and loamy scents.
We wandered beautifully designed paths through the trees near the house, where there was gurgling water and other animal and bird habitat.
We enjoyed a huge bonfire and honored the return of the light by gazing at the moon surrounded by a halo. It was wonderful to be in the woods with friends, since I’m usually alone. By the time the evening was over, I was practically oozing contentment. I’m glad I got a nice big dose of forest energy. I left with much more holiday spirits than when I arrived.
When are you most happy?
Yuletide blessings to all of you readers! Here are some bonus pictures for you!
International Day of Peaceful Rationality
Invent a holiday! Explain how and why everyone should celebrate.
Today’s prompt made me think, especially in light of all my efforts at bringing peace into my soul the past few days. I’d love a holiday that encourages people to sit back and drop their antagonistic thoughts toward “the other” for a day and work together to create sensible, rational solutions to the issues that conspire to keep all of us from having the chance to live meaningful, productive lives.
I predict my holiday could lead to arguments over the meaning of peace and the relevance of rationality. But I can dream, can’t I?
I’m cynical today. Sometimes the news makes you feel even less optimistic than others. And this is after hiding in the woods for a few days. I’m still in the woods, but it was a long work day. I’m happy my office setup works so well. It’s really freeing to be able to work anywhere you have bandwidth.
I’m ready to get home and take care of the animals myself. I hope Apache’s new meds arrived and will work out. I hope humans work things out, too, but I’m betting on the horse.
What’s your holiday?
Change of Mind, Change of Weather
What’s a topic or issue about which you’ve changed your mind?
I was going to be flip and answer this one with “golf.” I thought it was boring and elitist when I was young, and getting my head cracked open by a golf club in bad ole 8th grade didn’t help (when I mentioned this earlier I forgot to add that as I stumbled my way alone and bleeding to the school nurse, I rubbed blood all over the exterior of Plantation Middle School, to express my disgust with my situation. They never did golf again in middle school PE. However, I’ve come to enjoy watching golf on television and have fun at Top Golf.
My more serious answer is that I’ve changed my mind about Christianity. I have gradually come to realize that I am not fond of institutional religion in general, not just Christianity. Also, I realized that what upsets me most about certain Christian sects is how bizarrely they’ve distorted the message of peace, kindness, and caring that the historical Christ preached into a war-mongering, cruel, and disdainful way of enforcing power over the masses in favor of a privileged few.
It turns out that there are Christians with whom I agree very much and whose ideas I’m happy to incorporate into my life, along with wise people from other traditions. So, I am still quite unimpressed with many versions of Christianity, but I’m very comfortable with the teachings of Christ (not Paul’s version).
Enough of that. Huzzah! Today was the day! Pleasant weather arrived! I even had to wear a sweatshirt getting Drew ready to go to a horse clinic. I just basked all day and couldn’t make myself stay inside even after I got home. I wandered around taking pictures for the pollinator BioBlitz that’s going on.
The nice weather made the clinic lots of fun, even though Drew was not on his best behavior much of the time, because he was very distracted by a beautiful mare (I don’t know what makes a mare beautiful to a hormonal gelding, but she is very pretty.
Eventually he settled down, but not after I had to trot him in a circle so many times I was getting dizzy. He was distracted. Once we switched to obstacles, he did better. We jumped! And we went around a corner backwards. There were challenges due to my lack of skill, but I got through the day.
It was funny that all three horses in my group were gray. Drew’s the tiny one that doesn’t cost tens of thousands of dollars. But he is just fine.
Hanging out with the horse gang again was just great. I’m glad summer is over so we can have fun and learn more. There’s lots to learn!
Holidays around Here
How do you celebrate holidays?
I am not looking forward to answering this. The past few years holidays have been very confusing, because it’s hard to plan. With all the emergencies and life changes, we never know who will be around to celebrate or when. And I’ve lost two family members (they aren’t dead; they just consider me dead to them). It’s a good thing I’m not big on Christian holidays. I’d be miserable.
I guess we’re not alone. So many families have so many branches that want to see each member. Divorces, marriages, and squabbles make holidays hard for lots of us. So I won’t complain, just note that I sure liked holidays when I had a little nuclear family.
And I’ve finally stopped giving so many gifts. I really used to love watching family open presents. But when I found things I knitted for someone stuffed under a bed and saw things I’d carefully picked for people never move from the spot they set them, I realized I was just piling unwanted things on people. I do love a thoughtful gift, myself. I have nearly every gift my children gave me displayed so I can look at them.
For a few years, when we had both kids and Declan’s partner to enjoy Christmas with, we traveled for Christmas. That was wonderful. There were such good times hiking, making music, eating, and exploring.
No matter who’s here, I do enjoy a traditional Anerican Thanksgiving. I love the familiar dishes, along with the ones our many attendees bring from their families, like Anita’s “damn yams” that are ridiculously sweet. I’m one of the few who like my homemade cranberry-orange sauce, so we always include the can-shaped stuff, too.
My favorite holiday to eat at is New Year’s Day, since I insist on cooking what I ate growing up, but add pork loin for the manly nest-eating men who don’t find black-eyed peas and collard greens as appealing as I do. (I do make the greens delicious, though.)
Other holidays we don’t do much for anymore. No children come trick or treating out here, and I don’t do Easter eggs for similar reasons. I’m not into any special activities for the Patriotic holidays other than putting out a flag.
I enjoy traditional Celtic Wheel of the Year observances, but I do it more privately now than I used to. I’m trying to blend in more now that there’s so much violent energy being directed at people who don’t fit the MAGA profile.
Still, it’s fun to watch how other families celebrate their own traditions. Holidays in nearly all cultures seem like fun and a good way to relax. I hope we get to continue to be a multi-cultural society.
Let’s celebrate! I’m going to try to stop missing old ways of observing holidays and find something new!
Red Flags or Intuition?
What personality trait in people raises a red flag with you?
I rolled my eyes when I saw this prompt. I have found that some people just give me an instant negative reaction or at least I get negative “vibes” soon after. I’m right about it more often than not; it’s one of my innate abilities.
I HAVE been wrong about those vibes a couple of times. There are a couple of good friends who rubbed me the wrong way at first, but grew on me.
Upon additional thought about red flag traits, I managed to come up with one personality type that makes me want to avoid people. It’s folks who have no topics of conversation other than themselves and lack the social skills to recognize when they ought to give someone else a turn. It seems like every group I’ve been in, from La Leche League groups to spiritual groups to book clubs has one of these.
I try to be patient with such folks. They may be lonely or they may have a disability that affects them. Sadly, I’ve seen more than one group break up or dwindle to just a few patient folks because of this.
I hope to all that is sacred that I’m not one of those people. I try to cut my stories short, but may fail. The thing is, I love to hear about other people’s lives; I just want everyone to get a turn.
Any other traits that are red flags? Probably being intentionally racist, sexist, or homophobic. Cruelty to animals. Stuff like that.
I must tell you a trait I like in others, and that’s being kind to others. I appreciated it today when Tarrin’s husband, Teddy, helped Lee deal with a horse trailer gone bad. He found a nail in it but got it filled enough to get home. New tires are in our future.
I also truly appreciate the man in the pickup truck who followed us down Tarrin’s road, even into the parking lot of the new Milano gas station/truck stop. It turned out that when we heard a big clunk after hitting a tree branch (road not meant for RVs), it was our fancy television antenna being ripped off the roof. This kind man saw it, picked up the antenna, and brought it to us. Lee said he couldn’t tell the guy thank you enough.
See, there are many helpful people out there! They raise green flags with me!
So Relaxed I Am, for Me
How do you relax?
For a person with anxiety, I’m relaxed much of the time. That’s because I’ve had decades of practice finding ways to relax both my body and my mind. Here’s what I do.
Meditation: my goodness have I meditated a lot in my lifetime, probably years if you add it all up. I started so long ago that it was called TM, or transcendental meditation. I read a lot of books on it, though I never took a class. It was really helpful during my teen years.
Eventually I learned yoga, too, and did a lot of meditation in my spiritual activities. That Starhawk lady had a lot of fun guided meditations that let me help others meditate. I really grew to treasure my time breathing and centering as it became part of my spiritual practice and as I learned more Buddhist teachings. There are so many ways to meditate that I never get bored.
Anyway, it’s relaxing, too.
Knitting: I’ve knitted to relax even longer than I’ve meditated. I learned that from my female relatives, who all seemed to pick up their knitting or crocheting when things got tense.
The repetition and tactile pleasure of handcrafts is soothing both physically and mentally. I especially enjoy it when it’s just complicated enough to keep negative thoughts at bay.
And when truly stressed, knitting can keep me from opening my mouth and making a fool out of myself. I still remember the sock I worked on the day I was told my services were no longer needed at the nonprofit organization. I sat in my office that day and knitted furiously. That sock (it was yellow and blue, as I recall) would not fit onto my foot. For once I didn’t knit too loosely!
I’m just full of stories, huh.
Reading: No doubt many of us read to relax. These days I find fiction fun but not relaxing. I get too involved. I much prefer nonfiction or magazines.
Geez, I love magazines. I love learning about things I’d never thought of before, and I can lose myself in the photography, from home interiors to nature to fast cars and of course to pretty horses.
Pets: all my pets relax me. Okay, sometimes they add to stress, but mostly being with warm, entertaining nonhumans is a great way to relax. Stroking a happy doggy has to add endorphins. I have watched the chickens pecking, clucking, and slurping their water for long stretches of time, too.
I have to admit I spend even more time just hanging around with Fiona and the horses. They are so friendly and trusting. We hang out a lot, with them napping and me stroking their necks. Ahhh.
What relaxes you?
The Hermits' Rest 