family – The Hermits' Rest

I’m a successful person

How do you define success in life?

I’m successful by my own definition, anyway. My friend, Diana West, once wrote a book about breastfeeding after breast surgery and called it Defining Your Own Success. I’ve always thought that idea applied to many other aspects of life. Success is not some finite status you attain when you earn X amount of money or achieve Y status in your career, at least unless that’s your definition, which is fine, I guess.

I feel successful when I find a scarab beetle.

In all, I’m quite satisfied with my life so far. Here are some of the ways I think I’m successful.

I have lifelong friends and a small community of people I trust and care about.
I’ve successfully kept in the good graces of a few family members who I trust and treasure.
I’ve done interesting paid and volunteer work that has helped other people learn and grow.
There are many fascinating places that I’ve gotten to see and explore, some in my own backyard.
I haven’t stopped learning.
I rode a horse at a canter.
I think I’ve found “inner peace,” most of the time. It’s still a process, but I define success here as keeping on the path

That’s not all, but it’s enough.

Inner peace reminded me of some thoughts I’ve been having this week after conversations with some wise people. Since Wednesday, when the surprising results of the US midterm elections became clear, I’ve had a little difficulty accepting that something positive actually happened. But I think it’s sunk in, because I truly feel a huge weight is removed from my shoulders; the constant dread is gone.

I can enjoy the thrill of finding a pretty insect better now! A nuptial scorpion-fly.

I suddenly can concentrate again and I’m remembering words better. All day today I had a ridiculous amount of energy, too! I got more work done than I sometimes do in three days. And I had ideas, thoughts, contributions…made me feel quite successful! My brain works better (though the struggle with nouns in speech concerns me).

Talking with my boss today, I realized another important cause of my long period of feeling awful has been lifted. For the past ten years or so, I’ve been incredibly disappointed by people (here and elsewhere). My boss reminded me that our faith in humanity has returned. People DO care about each other and do reject mean-spiritedness and self-centered leadership.

Sure, there are plenty of people who are in this life only for themselves and who would rather call each other names than talk to others, but I feel less alone. I’ve successfully lived long enough to feel encouraged about the future, even though the next few years will be hard.

Hard times are still here. I have three friends who are hospitalized right now, so thoughts would be appreciated. And Harvey’s results came back indicating thyroid issues. That poor dog!

(Thanks to all who blew up my blog stats looking at house pictures—now I know how to get hits, buy a house.)

The year has gone fast, and hot

I have a book to write about, but I’m still thinking about it, so let’s talk about my annual craft project, the temperature blanket. I finally finished September, which had a lot of boring tan squares in it to fit the size of the other units. If you remember, the squares are set up like a monthly calendar.

Since September started on a Tuesday and ended on a Wednesday, there are ten tans to build out the six rows needed for other months, like August.

August is the middle unit here, and you can see it requires all six rows, though most months don’t. You can also see that is was extra hot this summer. Last year there was only one day over 100° (the bright pink). August only had two days with a high of less than 95! No wonder Lee wants a house in the mountains!

I was all happy to share this photo of the first 3/4 of the year until I looked at it. Dang. I attached the last row upside down. I guess I was too engaged in watching football to double check. You know what I’ll be doing tomorrow night! Looks like making progress on October will be delayed!

Here’s a distraction. Kathleen found this lady beetle larva in some plant litter that remained after I removed some annoying spurge.

It was a good day for looking at bugs and dead stuff around the swimming pool, I guess! More prep work got done for setting up the rainwater collection, so we were outside talking about it for quite a while.

She also found this velvet ant (really a flightless wasp).

I was a little slow all day today, I think. As I was listening to her spouse tell me stories, Kathleen snuck up behind me and started messing with my hair. I kept feeling around but didn’t find any bugs or anything. We just kept talking. Then Alfred surprised me when he snuck up and drooled on my foot, so I blamed the hair weirdness on him (how, I don’t know). I didn’t figure out it was actually Kathleen poking at me for way too long. At least we all got a good laugh out of it. Believe me, we needed it.

Airport survey time

What’s the best and worst airport you’ve been to?

Today I rested, as a worker I supposed to do on Labor Day. You’re also supposed to protest, so once again I’ll complain about the irony of being a contractor and being told not to work, but also not get it as a paid holiday. Sheesh. Thank you for your attention to this matter.

I’m not paying attention, Suna. I’m just glad you’re home.

I’ll just answer the blog prompt, then. You can answer too, unless you don’t fly, of course.

Favorite airport? I have a few I like, especially any airport with clean terrazzo floors. Myrtle Beach, South Carolina is one I recently visited with great floors, interesting seating, and lots of light. I was pleasantly surprised at how well it looked.

Weird seats, shiny floors, lights. Myrtle Beach.

My other favorite airport is Hilton Head Island, also in South Carolina. It’s tiny, intimate, and oh-so-easy to get in and out of. I think they’re expanding it, which is sort of a bummer.

Runners-up include Greensboro/High Point, North Carolina, with just enough space for a friendly bar if you need one, and Portland, Oregon.

Least favorite airport? Just about any huge hub like Dallas, Houston, or Atlanta. I have PTSD about O’Hare thanks to being there on 9/11, so I’ll add it to the list.

Outside the US, I like Toronto and I really don’t like Heathrow. Thanks to marrying a non-flyer, I don’t get to go many places outside the US anymore.

Feel free to share your favorites!

I’m glad to be back to be with all the birds. I missed them. I restocked the feeders and sat in the birding hut a while, even though it’s still darned hot. The new shades that were put up for me help a lot. My garden spider companion didn’t mind me one bit!

Air can come through, but the sun is blocked

I’m also glad to be back with the family, too. Travel is fun but regular routine and being a hermit are also good.

I was really happy to have Penney take a nap on my lap this evening. She seems less anxious about Benito being around.

Nothing wrong with uneventful days

Yeah, the last couple of days have been fairly low stress, with just a couple of bobbles. Also the blog prompts are so repetitive that I didn’t feel like answering the last few. Nonetheless, there have been highlights.

Master Naturalist meeting was last night, and I even made the end of the Board meeting (but missed some ruffled feelings, thankfully). A highlight of the meeting was getting a photo with all our living Presidents as our current one received a commemorative Bald Eagle pin.

The other highlight has been Stumpy’s growing popularity with its avian buddies. We now have little flocks of House Sparrows vying for stump space, as well as Cardinals seeking out their sunflower seeds. My patience has really paid off! Here are blurry phone photos to prove it. I’ll have to bring out the good camera now that there’s something to photograph.

Look at all the birds in the tree awaiting their turn.

I’ve felt good about work, because I’ve hit a few deadlines, but I’m glad the weekend is here. We had a pleasant dinner with my son and his partner at the new restaurant in town, which always is a pleasure. I do enjoy the little downtown area.

It rained somewhere near here this evening, but not here. We are back in crispy season, with extreme heat and brown plants. I’m glad to have water to look at here! Tomorrow I’m working with the water garden some more, too.

What’s Good?

It’s not totally rosy here at the land of hermits. But it’s never all bad. Today we focused on being a kind and supportive family. That’s good!

Other good stuff? I found more new wildflowers and many blossoms popping up. Such brave and hardy things they are.

And I got to wish my ever-youthful step-sister a happy birthday, only wishing I’d been there to share an old fashioned with her and her family.

Hmm…I must say this blanket project is pretty! That’s my final good thing.

Go hug your loved ones.

Hanging Out

My throat is still annoying and my nose is runny but I didn’t feel too awful today. I was able to go for a pretty good walk this morning and found some new wildflowers have popped up.

I also enjoyed lots of butterflies, even though our fields that are usually covered with a variety of flowers are heavy on the false dandelions.

I enjoyed spotting interesting things on the roadside other than trash that I picked up. There were some bursts of color and hidden beauty.

The horses are searching for green grass, bless their hearts. It’s way early for the soil to start cracking, but it is.

But HA! The skeet shooters didn’t stop the bluebonnets from blooming when they mowed the field. Yay!

Most of the day I relaxed and crocheted (a whole row of the wool blanket!) while chatting with Kathleen. We told stories, watched weird television shows, and spent time talking to the horses. Both our husbands were off working (Lee is in a writing groove upstairs and hasn’t been coming down much), so we filled the afternoon with conversation. It was a pleasant and stress-free interval of hanging out and recuperating! The big thrill was getting into her car and visiting the latest KCC Construction project and enjoying a Dairy Queen treat. That’s the best we could do for excitement, but it was good enough and kept our spirits up.

I’m sure these ladies were jealous of our fun.

My hope is that I’ve built enough strength to get my paid and volunteer work done next week and Kathleen has enough strength for all her doctor visits. It may be a challenging week.

Random Goodness – It’s Great!

I didn’t write anything yesterday, because I couldn’t think of a great theme or deep content, but this morning I realized that having a day that was just good and full of pleasant interactions was worth writing about.

I also did my nails tie dye. Oh happy day.

I guess there was one vaguely exciting thing that happened. We got a new gate opening mechanism on our front gate, because Lee was unhappy with how the previous one kept coming out of adjustment. The new one is really cool, though, and is made from a horseshoe and some chain. Once the welding machine gets some oxygen, it will even have something that helps it auto-close.

This is a lot easier to use, and quieter.

The excitement came when a welding spark ignited the long grass by the gate (mowing has been delayed by rains and husbandly illness). I saw it and went to get the conveniently long hose over to it, but in a fit of incompetence, it took me three tries to get there. First I had to go back and find a hard surface to turn the spray attachment on (it’s old and stuff), then there was a hose kink, and finally, I realized the hose actually wasn’t on. But, I did get there faster than the other hose, so I got to put it out. Now we have a nicely edged spot which will come back all green and pretty.

I enjoyed the new porch a lot, and was impressed at the good job that’s been done preparing my birding station for concrete. It’s going to be so cute, and we even have a little auto-waterer to turn into a bird bath out there!

It’s got plastic and rebar, ready for concrete.

The rest of yesterday was very pleasant. I got some work done on my temperature blanket, which has been delayed due to the package getting lost in the mail. The replacement arrived, and I’m up to the middle of May. Also pleasant was a nice visit from our friends Mike and Martha. We went swimming and then Martha made some spaghetti for dinner. Our weekly dinners have fallen by the wayside, and we need to pick it back up and try to drag Anita over (I haven’t heard from her except on Facebook since April! She’s a hard worker).

I can’t resist a purple flower, even if it is extra prolific Ruellia.

It rained over an inch last night, which made us happy. The front pond/tank is almost back to full capacity, and if we’re lucky, it will rain more this week. Now, the rain put the next “exciting” event in jeopardy, the pouring of the concrete. Nonetheless, it cleared up enough this morning for the big truck to show up and start pouring. Cleverly, it pulled into the RV parking space and could dispense concrete out that way.

I guess the highlight of the rest of the day will be watching cement dry. That’s okay with me. I’m enjoying every moment of not working and trying to savor the small things in life, like watching the horses and looking for bugs.

Typical arrangement. Everyone clustered but Apache, who’s on lookout.

Last night, Mike and I talked a bit about our Buddhism practice and whether we were doing a lot of living in the moment. We agreed we are doing better than we once did. That’s why they call it practice, I guess! In any case, I’m pretty content right now if I just focus on home and friends.

Apache and Suna Get Presents

While I was wandering through ghost towns yesterday, things were hopping on the home front. My horse and I were the beneficiaries of it all.

First, Lee was kind enough to mow the area where our round pen got moved. I was a bit afraid of snakes in the long grass. He then mowed some nice paths through the field, even nicer than his last ones.

That’s not all! Work has begun on a new horse playground for me, Apache, and any other horse I can get practice on obstacles for shows, entertain ourselves, and have fun. The first item is a little hill, like the one at Tarrin’s. It’s more of a berm.

The darned backhoe decided it was time to have yet another new problem (hey, it’s older than my kids), so it didn’t get done. But Apache and I tried it out and loved it. We will get so much use out of this tool.

The backhoe has plenty of stinky dirt to move.

Apache and I also tried out a turn in a box and corridor obstacle. I’ve made copies of the obstacle instructions from the Working Horse Central book, so I may be getting more obstacles as well. Riding will be so much more fun.

One path we walked on, framed by flowers.

Later in the day Apache and I rode out to the paths and pen to test them out. We both liked the mowed round pen, and he did pretty well in there. We even walked along much of the paths.

But, the end of the ride was not ideal. I guess Lee had run over some rodents while mowing that were starting to smell good. A Turkey Vulture decided to check it out, which was not at all fun for an already nervous horse.

Bonus: he didn’t flee into the poison ivy patch.

A great deal of crow-hopping and jumpiness ensued, but I didn’t panic. I did allow him to briskly head to more familiar ground, but I eventually helped him calm down enough to walk over some poles and pay attention to me. That was a win as far as I’m concerned. He even let me wash off all his nervous sweat.

He deserved a piece of weird ice cream cake. It’s made with ice cream and self rising flour. We humans ate it for him.

Poor Apache. That was a lot of new stuff for one day!

Another Island Full of Birds

We said farewell to Hilton Head yesterday, and not a moment too soon, because my heart broke to learn that a sperm whale washed ashore on the beach in front of our condo. That only happens when they are sick. It’s a part of life, as I’ve been reminded, but would be hard to watch.

Enjoy this beautiful plant, Large-flowered Orlaya, instead of anything sad.

We didn’t drive far before our first, more cheerful, stop. I couldn’t miss a visit to the Pinckney Island rookery in spring! It did not disappoint!

Of course, there were many songbirds, grackles, and such, but one huge highlight was seeing baby Great Egrets in their nests being tended by their beautiful parents.

It was great fun to enjoy the bird cacophony and chat with other birders about what we were seeing.

I hope those give you an idea of the crowds.

Many other herons were there, but all the Little Blues insisted on landing deep inside trees. Tricolored ones were much more sociable.

We were delighted when a beautiful Tricolored Heron landed right next to me and proceeded to be endearing for a long time. It even did a butt-wiggle dance. Oh, the cuteness. You’ll just have to suffer through more photos.

The heron was right next to three young alligators. They mutually ignored each other.

I had such a great visit! Between birds I saw and birds I heard, there were 48 species. Here are other highlights.

The staff at the preserve are doing a project to get rid of invasive Chinese tallow trees and thin the understory to prevent devastating fires. They’ve cut down many trees in the first phase. It isn’t pretty but is understandable. I saw funding came from the recent infrastructure bill passed by Congress. I hope the funding isn’t withdrawn mid-project like so many are.

Much larger gator not bothered by pruning

We next drove to the greater High Point, North Carolina area to visit our family members. (Some were unavailable, sadly). The roads were not in great shape, and we followed rain much of the way, but we made it. It was worth it to see Donita and Libba, who couldn’t join me on this trip to Hilton Head.

We had dinner at a very nice restaurant, though it was hard to talk due to people screaming while they ate. Three of us were hard of hearing. But we persevered and laughed a lot. Lee and I also had fun.

This morning I managed to get a 20-minute walk in the neighborhood of our hotel. I found 31 birds and some interesting plants. Let’s see where we go next!

Peach-colored Fly Agaric – *Amanita persicina*

Cute Birds and Bittersweet Memories

It was the best day in a long time for bird watching. Between my observations and the Merlin Bird ID, 51 species were found on our property. That’s pretty exciting for me. But more exciting was how entertained I was by all that I saw. Yes, I’m easily entertained. You knew that.

I swear this little White-crowned Sparrow looks like an egg with a tiny head on it.

I saw a beautiful Harrier swooping over the fields late this afternoon when working with Apache the Wonder Steed. We both watched.

Then right at sunset, while I was watching and listening to the sparrows (Harris’s, White-throated, Chipping, Song, and White-crowned) as they rustled through the leaves looking for bird stuff, something flew by. It was the Great Horned Owl heading to a tree. Thirty seconds later, it hit the ground. I guess it got a mouse. Spectacular.

I didn’t like that. What if the owl was after us cute songbirds? Circle of Life, yeah yeah.

That really helped me get through a hard day. It’s now six years since I heard from my son. He was a great kid. I hope he’s enjoying life. I think he is, and that’s good. I just miss this little charmer.

33 years and 8 months ago, 4 generations.

As the two older generations in that photo are no longer here to talk to, I’m the older generation now. My cousin Jan and I have been talking about that, since her dad, a good friend of my dad’s, passed a way a couple of days ago. We’re the elders. That feels so strange.

Three generations, me, Mom, and Aunt Belle, my grandmother’s twin. I was a senior in high school.

I hope I can stay in contact with the generation after me. Maybe someday my son, but if not, it’s his decision and I respect it. And I’m fine. I just allow myself one day a year to mourn the loss that I really don’t understand. Grief is always lurking.

My parents and me in 1958. I knew they loved me, even if none of us were perfect. Dad was 27. Mom was 36.

Once again, I ask you to stick close to your loved ones, your friends who support you, and your community. We need each other.