After reading the Happier Now book, I’ve been carefully observing what brings happiness into my life. What has also become clear for the past week or so is how easy it is to have your happiness squished. Now, intellectually, I’ve known this a long time. Haven’t you read somewhere that it takes some large number of compliments to override one put-down?
For me, one of those “highly sensitive persons,” some of the unkind things that were said to me stuck for decades. I thought of myself as “fatso” even when I was of an average size. And as an adult, there have been a few things people said to me that I couldn’t shake. I let their perceptions of me affect my self esteem.
These days, I’m doing better, and that’s great. Yay me. Still, you can’t avoid negativity and negative people in life. Some of them you’re related to or have to work with, you know. And, as we have been talking about this morning, as we sip our coffee, there are some folks who just don’t like to see someone else happy or doing well, so they try to pull them down to their level (apparently this is common in all the families of origin in my household).
But, what has shocked me, and what I’ve decided I need to figure out how to handle better, is how easily my happiness can get squished by people around me. I’m sharing some personal examples next, not to criticize others, but to talk about how we might interact more successfully.
[First off, my apologies for another post full of pictures of me, but it’s hard to get photos of my hair without me in them. However…]
As you lovely readers know, I keep changing my hair color, because I love the Overtone color/conditioner. I’m not sure why I, a Certified Tomboy, keep coloring my hair weird colors and getting my nails done, but, that’s just me, I guess. This week, however, I got a hair scare, and people kept commenting on it!
For the past couple of months (starting in mid-October), my hair has been RED. The color of a stop sign, not a ginger person’s hair. When it’s first done, and after the first wash, it’s pretty spectacular and looks good with my complexion. I really enjoyed my Red Period, which is the name of the photo at right.
The problem started when I was unable to replenish the color after three washes, which is what I normally do, since the temporary color washes out.
Over the weekend, I noticed my hair was not at all red. In fact it was quite the Thanksgiving/autumn orange. It almost looked…gasp…NATURAL! What the heck?
This holiday weekend has had some rough weather all over the US, and I am grateful to have had nothing worse than fog and light rain. But still, I got quite a weather surprise last night. All day it had been damp, a bit chilly, and breezy. I was glad to have my coat on for horsing around and walking with the dogs.
So, around 7:30 or so, I went over to Mandi’s house to look for rattlesnakes…um, no, to watch her make pies and talk to her kids. I put on the same coat I’d worn all day, and stepped onto the porch. WHAT?? It was HOT outside! Yes, after sunset it had warmed up at least ten degrees, maybe more. Now, that is NOT a usual weather pattern! It appears that the front that had stalled over the state had moved back to the north and brought sauna-like conditions. That’s a new one! And right now it’s almost 80 degrees, on the last day of November!
I realize I could have made two posts, but since no one’s really reading this stuff this weekend, I’ll just combine topics.
You see, I have been struggling with kindness in some areas of my life. Since being kind is important to me, I’m trying to build new patterns and attitudes toward people I come across. To be honest, there are always people we find hard to be kind to, whether it’s someone who treats us or another person rudely, the person whose driving puts you in danger, or a coworker with no boundaries (made-up examples; please don’t worry if I am referring to you).
Today started out bathed in fog, and as the sun sets it’s still drizzling. Nonetheless, it was a beautiful day. You can find beauty anywhere if you just look around! Just look at all these beautiful water droplets!
Anita stayed over last night, sleeping on my gradually softening air bed. Shoot, that was a GOOD air bed. We had the nicest discussion, just Anita, Lee, and me, as we drank our hot beverages and finished cleaning up after last night’s delicious Thanksgiving dinner. I felt so relaxed, with Carlton curled up in my lap, and the fog draped over the trees outside.
I got Anita to walk the dogs with me and pose like she is out on the misty moors. It was fun to walk through all the tiny air droplets. It wasn’t too cold, so it was good walking weather.
If you’re in the USA I hope you’re reflecting on what you’re grateful for today. Right now I’m grateful that USUALLY Facebook works great out here. Today I can’t greet anyone!
So far, it’s rainy, and some of our guests may not make it. I hope that 29-pound turkey wasn’t a mistake! But I’ll just enjoy the day!
My wish for you is that you cherish what is good in your life and learn from the challenges. I’m grateful for friends and family who’ve reached out to me already…my stepmom, my step sister, my brother, a couple of Cameron friends, the book club, and even my favorite undergrad professor. Wow. Love is everywhere.
Be safe, eat well, and hug someone who likes to be hugged.
Lee is my spouse! I’ve mentioned him before, I just know it. Oh, I can be funny.
We will have been married 11 years on Friday. He’s a hermit. But he does right a lot. You’ve perhaps seen some of his posts on our Hermit Haus Redevelopment blog or the new Hearts, Homes and Hands blog. Still, he told me he wondered why no one seems to come across his personal blog, while I get a reasonable number of hits.
I told him no one’s going to just stumble over it; they have to know it’s there. I share.
Now I will share Lee!
If you’d like to learn a little bit about him, head over to The Hermitage, a blog he’s been keeping since I met him. There he gets to control all his HTML and format all his pictures exactly how he likes it, and that makes him happy.
None of this WordPress hand-holding for him! Right now, he’s sharing what he’s grateful for, and I’m happy to be one of those things.
I’m grateful for my spousal unit, too. He’s really kind, generous, stubborn, and occasionally grumpy. Other times, he’s funny and sweet. In other words, he’s human!
One thing that makes us a fun couple is how different we are. Go see him and find out for yourself! Give him a comment or follow him on Blogger.