daily life – The Hermits' Rest

What bugs me?

Quickly, since the weather’s turning icky again.

Mosquitoes. They ate what bugs me. Of course they aren’t bugs. They are insects. We are overrun with them right now thanks to the previous storm and a much smaller barn swallow population than usual. I guess our new porch miffed them by taking two prime nesting spots away.

After riding around in the pasture on Sunday looking at the grass situation, then pulling a lot of weeds yesterday, I’m covered with bites. And once I get a certain amount of Culex spit in me, the itching is unbearable. I start to feel better, then more arrive. Gonna have to use all my organic and scary repellent methods. I have few bite-free surfaces. Ugh.

I’m sure glad my honorary daughter gave birth to her chunky and adorable son safely today. That helps balance out the sad things from yesterday. I guess I was on target yesterday !

Hey, Sweetums, the babies need to be fed and I’m exhausted.

Stay safe if storms, fires, random shootings, or killer mosquitoes are after you. Remember I care, even if I don’t know you in real life. You matter.

And Carlton would lick you if you were here. But he’s hiding from thunder right now.

Balancing Act

How do you balance work and home life?

I do know many people who have a large a hard time balancing their work and their home life. It’s really easy to check your email before or after your hours of work or just check to see what’s going on in the work chat. Or maybe, just maybe, you’ve got all sorts of ideas and you want to get them down before you forget them. I get it. Work just intrudes on us no matter how hard we try not to let it.

Mr. Bullfrog wants to know if you can tell I tried dictating this post. I sure can. Yuck.

The good news is I’m really lucky. I’m a contract worker and have been for most of my working life. That means I’m only supposed to work 40 hours a week, and I’m only going to get paid for 40 hours a week, and no one expects me to put in extra time just because, you know, I’m getting paid the big bucks. While it’s true I don’t get paid vacations or paid holidays, I do get to stop after eight hours a day. Plus, the way it is right now I am working in Pacific time that gives me time in the morning to enjoy birds or sit and enjoy coffee or hang out with the horses. And there’s still enough time in the evening to do my chores, walk around and see what’s happening, especially in the summer when there’s lots of daylight. So, yeah I work when I’m working and I don’t work when I’m not working. That seems to be the best way to balance your work and your life.

I’m glad I have both work and home life. Each is important.

I’ve been thinking about other balances today. Some friends of mine are going through some hard stuff. If you have a moment, think of my friend Anita, who has lost a long-term animal, Friend, and some other folks, I know who are having trouble with their families and have no option, but to just get through it. That’s hard to get past. Things will swing back into balance, though sometimes it takes quite a while.

And it’s hard to see past all the distractions to find the positives.

Not dwelling on what’s bad and not only thinking about the good things like some sort of Pollyanna person seems to be the best way to keep a balance. That’s why I like living in the moment and noticing the small things that happen. Out here at the ranch we are going to see life and death and everything in between, but it helps us remember that that’s all part of life and all to be treasured.

Like Gulf fritillaries. All are ephemeral treasures.

Here is a bonus funny story from the day. The UPS man came as he often does right before I was supposed to have a meeting. The dogs were barking and barking and barking. Once again, it wasn’t the UPS man that they were barking at oh no. There was a squirrel on the front porch. All I know is that I heard a yelp and Alfred was limping. The squirrel disappeared. UPS man hopefully pointed out. Hey there’s a squirrel on your front porch. I agreed.

I took all the packages and things inside and figured this squirrel was gone and really hoped it wasn’t hurt. Naturally my coworker felt the need to point out to me that squirrels don’t usually do weird things like run up on the front porch so maybe it was sick and giving my dogs rabies or whatever. Thanks Keaton.

My meeting with Keaton lasted about an hour so I went outside to see if I could find the squirrel. Kathleen also went outside a couple of to see if she could find the squirrel. She never noticed it but I spotted a little fuzzy tail, hiding behind a storage container on the porch. There was no way a dog could get to it. But it didn’t look like that squirrel was planning on going anywhere anytime soon, either. I checked on it two or three more times and one time I saw it a little foot sticking up and another time I saw a little nose. It was so cute.

Finally, when Lee was feeding the dogs, we locked the outside door so the dogs couldn’t get out and Kathleen and I managed to move the big container the squirrel was hiding behind. The minute that space was opened the squirrel took off like a rocket. It was not hurt. We were relieved. I’m also relieved that the vet comes on Wednesday and she’ll let me know if any of the dogs look like they’re developing rabies. Alfred is no longer limping and no one else seems any worse for wear. I did find it funny that none of the dogs were smelling the squirrel where it was hiding. Maybe squirrels have some sort of odor disguiser in them. I don’t know.

It was real windy today and last night but the new fig tree made it. I’m happy to say I’ve had a whole day with a fig tree. Every day with a fig tree is a good day, because my last fig tree died a horrible death when many many grasshoppers attacked it. This is not a grasshopper year, though, it’s a mud dauber year and mud daubers do not care anything for trees. Yay.

All right. You all have a good work life balance yourselves, and I will probably be back tomorrow.

PS: I texted my boss right after I finished writing this post. Not very good at doing what I say I do, am I?

We all make sacrifices

What sacrifices have you made in life?

I don’t think anyone I know hasn’t made sacrifices, mainly since I’m no longer hanging around with people who think of no one but themselves. I’m also fairly sure that many sacrifices have positive outcomes. For example, the sacrifice I made to stay home with my sons when they were young ended up leading to meeting so many lifelong friends and my career path. So maybe it wasn’t a sacrifice; it was a good decision.

Maybe I sacrificed a dream to send Drew away, but we are all calmer now.

That’s the thing. Most of the “sacrifices” I’ve made no longer bother me. I honestly don’t feel like dwelling on them. One thing is I wish I had been able to travel overseas when I was younger. But the money was needed for other important things, like college educations and helping out family members. And now that we might have the means to travel to other countries, Lee won’t fly.

If I’m home, I can see when new plants bloom. Violet Ruellia has started.

Not traveling as much lets us invest in our home, though. I’m looking forward to some of the improvements we’ve been discussing, like finishing the pool house and getting the water tanks working. Admittedly, getting more grass in the horse pastures means fewer spectacular wildflowers, but I can sacrifice some of them if we can get native grasses.

We have to save some for the butterflies, like this variegated fritillary.

Everything’s really okay. We can each sacrifice something for the good of us all, at least here. Finding acceptance of how things are has truly made my life happier.

We planted the fig tree in time for more rain. I just hope the wind doesn’t break it.

Take that, giant data centers

Like many other rural parts of the US, the county we live in is having lots and lots of farmland bought up to either produce energy or use a lot of it. We have seas of solar farms stretching for miles that were corn or cattle just a few years ago.

Google’s largest solar farm. Right in our county. Opened in 2024. Photo from KTBX.

We are also seeing land sold for our benevolent buddies, AI data centers. There’s a big one going in north of here and I’ve noticed a new electrical substation going in down the road from us, as if there wasn’t already one a mile or so away.

This is under construction now. (I miss Micah Wilson—he was too good to be stuck in our small market)

As you may be aware, data centers use a lot of water. So do suburbs in the adjacent county. (I’m aware that data center proponents assert they recycle water, and I’m sure some of that does occur. But anyway, much of the water in our aquifer is going to people and places who aren’t us.

Many folks in this part of Texas are concerned about our water sources, and concerned about drought, as well. So, Lee decided we should get some giant rainwater storage tanks.

There are two 5,000 gallon tanks now in our back yard. Each will collect water from one of our roofs, the house and the garage. I’m told we can also supplement with city water if necessary, but the hope is to get all our water this way.

Yes, there are filters and stuff. I’m supposed to go to some class about it, after which I can speak more knowledgeably about it. Until then, I shall trust the family member who did take the class already to set it up.

The pad for the garage tank was already built, so now the second pad has to be built and the tank loaded on it. Because of how many water lines, gas lines, and such there are beside the house, the tank will have to block the guest room window. But the residents never open the blinds anyway.

I didn’t think this would happen so soon, but it’s good, I guess. Those data centers can take all the groundwater, but we will still have some as long as we get at least some rain. Yay?

Stormy surprise

I’m too sleepy to write much. We were all kept awake last night from a combination of very loud wind and thunderstorms and upset dogs barking.

Plus we had a bonus dog who wandered onto our porch just before it started to hail. We couldn’t leave him outside in that! Besides, he looked familiar.

Dogs, especially intact males, tend to run off when frightened, and that’s what this guy did. I’m glad we took him inside! He was obviously well cared for and loved people and other dogs. He went to the guest room for the night, to separate him from our guys who didn’t need a new dog in addition to thunder.

Even a nice looking guy like this would be too much.

I posted that we had him on our local lost and found page, figuring we’d check neighbors we didn’t know in the morning if we got no response. By 11pm a preteen girl texted that it was her dog. I asked for proof, since I didn’t want to just give him to someone random who thought he was cute.

Yep same dog. Note Frenchie peeking in back.

By morning I recognized the girl’s name and realized that Benny (his name) used to live next door to my friend Anita in town. Aha. I’d seen him. The family had moved sort of near us. I say sort of, because Benny had made it 2.8 miles to get to our house!

We were pleased to reunite Benny with his family and home pack. I’m also glad they knew he was safe in the storm.

Yes, we had enough rain to finally fill the ponds and send the creek over its banks.

Now I am more confident we will have water all through this year’s dry spell.

That’s good. We turtles like a full pond.

PS: heard that Drew is a regular angel in his new situation and already trail riding. Happy trails to Droodles.

I’m glad it rained, too, because even though I am on the patio, I’m a baby water snake. (just a little guy)

Weird thing about grief

I’m grieving the fact that my horse Drew has gone to greener pastures (literally, east Texas, where it’s damp). I’m grateful for all the very kind words from many of you. It will just take me a few days to feel more centered.

At least I’m happy that I got my fig tree that friends were holding for me. Yay Figgy.

Today reminded me of something I’ve noticed before when I experienced grief. I get really accident prone. This is apparently a known consequence of grieving, in addition to memory lapses and decreased spatial senses (thanks AI). I didn’t put 2 and 2 together and figure out why I was so “off” today until this evening. Now I get it.

Like this mushroom, I’m not quite right.

Nothing bad happened, I just had odd accidents. For example, I was operating the gate to go to the garage and somehow got my thumbnail stuck in the link of a chain in the locking mechanism. That caused me to drop the can of Precious Coke Zero I was carrying. I extricated myself without breaking my freshly painted nail. But when I got into the Jeep to go get Figgy, I foolishly opened the can. Soda all over my clean jeans. Sigh.

I later dropped the phone (it’s fine) and scratched myself on the gate to the chickens. At least I got two eggs today!

And finally, after serving myself some comfort ice cream, I sat down to eat it, and it all plopped out of the bowl onto my cute shirt and the already soda-stained jeans. Sheesh.

I have heard that horses “grieve” the loss of a herd member. I wonder if the remaining four here are grieving or having the most relaxed day in years? I’m not sure. I did ride Apache today, as you could guess from the photo above. He’s getting back into the swing of things again, though being sick hasn’t helped the progress. He did great in the round pen today, but as soon as I walked him out of it, he did an Apache fit and I thought he was going to buck his way back to the barn. But, ha! I remembered the one-rein stop. He stopped.

He had a look on his face like he was very disappointed I remembered how to do that. And I competently got him to follow or lead Dusty and Kathleen around the outside of the pen until he quit thinking about exiting. At least Tarrin taught me something!

My vision for the future. So many chickadees.

Things will improve, I’m sure. We got some good rain this evening. And I got through another Mother’s Day burying my grief over my estranged son. It helped that my other son remembered me and so did my bonus daughter up near Dallas (two weeks until her son is due!).

Oops. The weather service just called. Big storm coming. Lee is bringing Figgy inside the screened porch!

Enjoy every dang moment

I say that because I wore my Lynda Barry shirt today, with Marlys saying “dang.”

It’s a comic for people my age and was very funny in the 20th century. Look up Lynda Barry.

But I’m here to tell you I’ve taken my own advice to enjoy every dang moment, and this had a very pleasant day with only a little remnant of The Sickness with No Name. I even got to talk to some friends today about its baffling nature. I’ve missed friends.

I’ve missed these, too. Meadow pinks. I’ll work on a better photo.

And Kathleen felt better enough to do stuff with horses and enjoy family chatting (the men call it BS-ing). We spent a lot of time dreaming up one of those gardens that catch runoff, because we will soon have giant rainwater harvesting barrels that need managing. It’s fun to dream of home improvements. I’ve always loved it.

I don’t know why, but the little depression near the driveway with frogs, crawfish and harmless water snakes doesn’t count as a decorative water feature.

The most fun part of the day was when I took a well-deserved walk at lunch. Though it was a cloudy day, the wildflowers on our roadside made it seem very bright!

Nature’s color palette is vibrant in May.

Because we started getting rain right after the poor bluebonnets and paintbrushes tried to bloom, the second wave of flowers is impressive.

I had a grand time looking at how huge the Engelmann daisies and Gaillardia are this year.

Many springs find those daisies all droopy and sad. Not this year.

Closer to my son’s house, I found the clasping coneflowers (Mexican hats, as they were called until recently) were much more robust than they’ve been in recent years. They make the roadside look like someone planned the arrangement of plants.

With a background of Dickcissels and orioles singing, I couldn’t help but feel thankful. This is why I live out here in rural America. The land and wildlife are always changing and endlessly interesting.

Grateful to be caretaker for this wild patch.

I am convinced I do better work when I can take these breaks. After lunch I churned out a big document and it met with approval. Then my boss took a framework I built and turned it into a project plan of great sophistication and utility. That was energizing to see! Living in the moment even makes work more rewarding, at least sometimes.

Yep, I’m proud of myself for plowing through the rough times. They make good days like today all the more treasured. And now, here’s the photo dump of today’s views.

A perfect flower? No, they’re all slightly irregular.

Getting a Little Jumpy

Though it’s been two whole days since anything weird happened at the ranch, I’m on high alert. Any sudden movement gets me on defense. That has included swooping Barn Swallows, a deer in a field, and an owl on a fence post suddenly turning its head.

Most of this is normal, though the owl was pretty cool.

This Black Caterpillar Hunter didn’t set me off. I thought it was interesting.

I’ve been throwing myself into work, which is useful. And coaching coworkers does keep my mind off potential threats. But the minute I’m outside I’m watching for anything amiss. I’ll get over it after a few days.

Worst, we were watching our nightly television hour, when we heard loud screams. It wasn’t our TV, or the one in the bedroom. We ran outside to see if someone was hurt, then it became clear that our coyote neighbors were closer than usual. One coyote can sound a lot like someone screaming. It got my blood pumping!

I will do some breathing exercises after I finish this.

Today’s best news is I felt well enough to go eat some Mexican food with Lee. I sure enjoyed my tacos al pastor.

I must be a little better

How do I know? I just started singing some old Billy Joel song and it sounded like an alto singer doing the song, not Frankenstein’s monster. Yesterday I surely would have sounded monster-like.

Many exciting events happened today.

I almost opened my mouth all the way
I ate a juicy pear
My ears and salivary glands hurt more than my throat
I thought of writing a catchy pop song to the rhythm of the popping in my ears. Something’s moving around in there.
I was able to laugh a lot with my coworker and family—light-heartedly kidding around is healing

But that’s about all I have for you today. I am patiently healing and not rushing it, as I’ve been encouraged to do.

I’ll emerge a beautiful Suna-esque butterfly as I escape the mystery ailment cocoon.

Maybe I’ll review some television next. Being sick has led to a lot of that, since I can only read so long before my head hurts. (Whine, whine, whine—so many friends have much bigger challenges —I do remember you all.)

Slept a Lot. No Better.

While over-the-counter pain meds enabled me to get through the day, the antibiotics haven’t put a dent in my throat pain. I got the news that my thyroid is fine. Of course that’s good news, but that leaves me back not knowing what the heck is wrong. I’m very impatient with illness.

I did get outside to check the mail and saw lemon beebalm starting to bloom.

At least I didn’t miss horse stuff, since there was light rain most of the day. For that I’m grateful.

I had many meetings today, but napped in between. Tomorrow is not quite as bad as that, and if I don’t feel better, I’ll go back to the doctor for an ENT appointment or something. Ugh.

I’ll try to be interesting tomorrow.