Do you think everything happens for a reason?
No. It does not. Stuff happens.
Based on my beliefs. You go enjoy yours.
Unpopular opinion
Category: rant
See you tomorrow!
I’m not going to write much today. I’ve realized that being sad about the sorry state of my former employer has taken a lot out of me. Dang that empathy.
I don’t think there are any former coworkers left. The whole documentation team is gone. Many high-level staff I worked with, and consultants I cared about. Ugh.
Do I blame AI just because all the company has done lately is go on and on about their AI acquisition? No. I blame venture capitalists who over-extend themselves and make workers pay.
I saw it coming with the first acquisition. Still it hadn’t been fun to watch. And, darn it, if they’d just put money into the good (ish) products they already had, this might not have happened. But that’s today in a nutshell. The rich treat people like pawns. Duh.
Gonna go on vacation and figure stuff out later.
My quirky guide to healthier relationships and boundaries.
Write your guide to setting healthy boundaries in relationships.
DO
Remind yourself that when someone bullies you, it’s because they feel weak.
Lower expectations from unreliable friends and family. Enjoy the good things and just accept them as they are. Griping won’t change anything.
Bear in mind you don’t have to comply with manipulation.
Listen with your heart and empathize without taking on others’ issues.
Love yourself, warts and all.
See the good in everyone but don’t make excuses for them.
Forgive those who hurt you, even if you must stay away for your safety.
Prioritize your needs; you’re as important as anyone else, so don’t always put others first.
Find the humor in situations.
Make room for silence. Meditate, pray, walk in nature. It improves your ability to bring your best self to relationships.
DON’T
Beg anyone to love you. It never works. That only took me 50 years to figure out.
Walk on eggshells to keep the peace/save a relationship/pacify a narcissist.
Believe the put-downs, insults, passive aggressive jabs, and guilt trips of wounded souls trying to make themselves feel better by belittling you.
Try to fix anyone. That’s their job.
Bear a grudge. It hurts you more than the other person.
Make negative assumptions based on appearance — talk to people.
Tease unkindly, pick on, or gossip about people who are vulnerable.
It felt good to blurt that all out. I’m sure you have your own ideas! Me throwing out unsolicited advice may well be unnecessary. Thanks for playing along.
More book reporting for tomorrow. Hopefully less flooding, as there was another four inches overnight.
My Favorite (non) Emojis
What are your favorite emojis?
Fact: I have no favorite emoji. I think I can express how I feel in words. I do like “lol” though it’s not an emoji and it’s taken me 20 years to come to like it. lol.
Blam blam blam
I had exactly ONE important meeting today where I had to pay attention. That is when some folks off somewhere adjacent to the people across the road decided it was time to break out the rifles and start with the pew, pew, pew. Only it was much louder.
Of course, while I had my camera on, Penney had to try to insert herself into my arms, Carlton started shaking under my desk, and Alfred stuck his giant head under my free arm. My headphones disconnected, things fell off the desk, and I kept trying to act professional. At least I wasn’t leading the meeting.
Let’s hope they don’t start up again tomorrow when I’m leading a meeting with bosses in it. Apparently, yesterday the blamming was during my lunch with friends.
The good news is that there was no massacre. Once the meeting ended and I walked past the bridge, I could hear them yelling, “pull,” before shots rang out, so I figured out they were skeet shooting. That’s a new one.
The shots sounded really close from our house, and my neighbor said it sounded like it was in her back yard. Her dogs were also terrified. The shooters were very close to her property line. Well, I hope they got lots of skeet.
I also enjoyed banter about skeet and what they could be hunting in response to my Facebook post about the noise. That made a weird day a bit better.
In the end, I enjoyed writing for most of the day, and had a nice rest on the porch with all the flowers after work.
Then all but one horse got some vigorous currying, because it’s shedding time. Mabel, as usual, also has mud clods that I’m gradually scraping off. She can really collect mud. I’m in charge of the horses for a while, since my helper has had a setback, but I’m on it! I just want no nearby shooting during horse time.
The Day DID Get Better
No kidding, today started out like nothing was going to go right. My first sight, when I went out to check the exciting .04” of rain we got, was an unpleasant unalive mammal. An hour or so later I stepped in gross septic water because it was draining near the chicken pens.
Next I sprayed cold water all over myself trying to fix the automatic waterer without turning off the water. Bright. I did fix it, and my offspring the handyman built a temporary brace to stop big, clumsy Darryl Junior from stomping on the water hose and loosening the connection. Yay.
Then I dropped stuff and nearly failed in putting mice traps in the tack room (sorry, don’t want to die of hanta virus). I got stuff all over me.
At least I had a good interlude when my Precious Stepsister called and she listened to my anxiety stuff. That’s because I gave her a rock.
And finally, I sat down to enjoy Facebook at lunch only to discover this article, detailing how the homophobia in Texas is so bad that a children’s book author whose in-laws I’ve known for decades can be prevented from talking about his charming nonfiction books (I’ve read many of them) in elementary schools because there is one sentence in one book that acknowledges LGBTQIA+ people exist. How low can this place go? Rhetorical question.
Read all about Chris Barton and consider buying a young friend (or yourself) one of his books. As a matter of fact, I bought a copy of every book he’s written for children and sent them to my unofficial granddaughter.
And our US Senator has once again left the state when bad weather is coming. Coincidence, I’m sure.
I was pretty mad at the world much of the day, especially when the dogs found something I won’t mention and brought it into the house to fight over. While Penney tried to kill Carlton (she kept going when he stopped at Lee’s command, so Carlton lost), Harvey ate the contested item. All I can say is I’m glad I was feeding horses then. It sounded pretty yucky.
After all those small things built up, I was about to go crawl under the covers, but then I had a second good phone call of the day that cheered me up about possible not horrible developments in my life!
See, there’s always good among the nauseating events. You just have to be patient and not spend all day hiding under the covers.
Things That Make You Unpopular
I have some firmly held beliefs that have caused me deep sadness because I dare to express them. you can be blackballed for these beliefs. And of course I realize my beliefs are aspirational goals.
I expect the following groups of people to be treated with respect and dignity by their community, leaders, and law enforcement.
- Women
- Children
- Black, brown, red, and white people
- Gays
- Lesbians
- Trans people
- Bisexuals
- Intersex people
- Anyone who loves anyone else or presents as any gender they want to
- Pagans
- Jews
- Liberal Christians
- Muslims
- Any other spiritual path I missed
- Descendants of Pilgrims
- Native Americans
- US Citizens
- Legal Immigrants
- Undocumented immigrants
- People with physical handicaps
- People with mental handicaps
- Those addicted to or who abuse legal or illegal substances
- People who commit crimes
- People who make bad mistakes
- People of all political parties or groups
- Criminals
- Poor people
- Rich people
- Intellectuals
- Feminists
- White supremacists
- Oh, pretty much everybody
I didn’t say I condone or agree with ideas or actions of everyone, but basic human decency means that you can disagree, keep yourself safe, and enforce laws respectfully. I know it can happen. I know it’s never happened 100%, but we’re doing worse now, not better.
It also makes me unpopular to believe that the following people should be allowed to express their thoughts in the USA:
- People who agree with the current US government’s policies and actions
- People who like some things about the current situation and not other things
- People who disagree with or have concerns with how our leaders conduct themselves and the decisions they make
- People who believe what they see with their own eyes
- People who prefer to be told what to believe
This state of affairs should not turn us against each other. Please don’t let us keep falling further and further into us versus them. We all suffer when that happens. Our families, friendships, businesses, and communities suffer. We lose the ability to trust.
Kindness starts with YOU. And me.
I’m despondent tonight over losing a friend. I should not have admitted that I’m afraid of things that are happening in the US. It’s becoming more and more clear that if I want to be safe I should not question what happens, do as I’m told, keep my head down, stay inside, and shut up. Damn, I’ve tried to be a good person.
Hug a person you care about.
Hey, Reader-folk
How did my weekend off go? Well, it featured some lovely conversations with dear friends and family. It always feels good to keep in touch, and I look forward to more of that. I guess that’s my current mission, to reach out and connect with people I care about, while I still can.
The governor of the state where I live has given our voting records to the national government. This will allow them to see which primary people voted in, since you have to declare which party’s ballot you want. Oddly, many people I know vote in the Republican primary because no one dares run as a Democrat, so many races are decided then. So maybe some of us wouldn’t be targeted if it comes to that.
Yeah, I’m not feeling any better. This whole deal where half the US lived in one version of reality and the other half lived in a completely different world only worked when there were checks and balances. The government now parrots the words of an evil regime and has their own scary police force with no incentive to follow legal process.
But gee, we still have birds and flowers. Yay!
As I mentioned last week, there has been a Black Phoebe here. It’s stayed for days now, and I’ve managed to see it three times.
I was very doubtful that Merlin was accurate on this one, because it’s not usually found here. But, I know what the Eastern Phoebe looks like (ours are medium gray with pale yellow breasts), and the bird I’ve seen is very dark with a very white belly, like above.
The app also registered a Say’s Phoebe, which at least has a closer range, and I kind of believe since my friend Michelle had one show up in Merlin at her house.
I now feel more confident, since remembered that part of the Merlin app is a feature where it will show you all the birds you’re likely to see on any day. Here are the ones I’m most likely to have seen today in Cameron, Texas. Note the Eastern Phoebe among my good bird buddies.
But hey, look what comes up when I type in Phoebe! If I’m going to see the two western phoebes, this would be the week!
So, this has been fun to observe! It’s been really cold (for here), but the birds have been out, especially the sparrows and wrens. Other than the incredibly windy Saturday, I’ve been out enjoying them every day, along with the horses.
Funny horse story. When it got so windy and cold, I figured I should put Dusty’s new blanket on him, since he’s so thin, though fuzzy. I didn’t think it through, though, and when I brought the blanket out to show him, Dusty was scared to death! He shook and ran as far away as he could in his pen. I’ll never forget the look in his eyes. I felt like I betrayed him.
I’ve left the blanket hanging on Dusty’s gate, and I put his food dish near it. He’s still not happy. I guess the old cow horse never needed a blanket before and doesn’t want one now.
Anybody need a gummy bear-themed blanket for a small horse?
Thank you for reading, for being kind to others, and for cherishing your life.
What’s the Use?
Dammit. When I read 1984 I never thought it would be coming true in 40 years. I give up. The truth, kindness, laws, and peace no longer are important to so many that I just need to give up for a while. I’ve been trying to see all the beauty and good around me. But I’m very sad. People are living up to their awful reputations. I must take a break and regroup.
It would help if I kept my own beliefs in mind. It might work for you, too.
Good news: I did see the Black Phoebe today and 60 other species. That gave me some positive moments!
Anyway. My Reminder Rocks have a message for everyone.
I’m not giving up, though. This is a BIG rock. it bears repeating.
I’ll be back in a while.
Making Up for Scary Days
The two most frightening days of my adult life are remembered by dates. One is 911. I still have dreams of being lost at O’Hare airport and can hear in my mind the sound of my plane’s captain telling us his colleagues and many others had just perished. I had the same feeling of living a nightmare on January 6, 2021. I can’t remember why I was watching a news channel then, but I was. I was terrified that the mob would kill lawmakers or burn down the US Capitol. I guess I expected terrorists to act that way, but not our citizens.
Today I did not forget. I saw it with my own eyes. It was real.
What’s also real is that there are millions of good, kind, ethical and law-abiding people in this country. I will not forget that, either. I had conversations all day that reminded me of it. I was reminded of how much we have in common, even if we grew up in different places. I was reminded of how even folks with values unlike mine mostly try to be good people, even if they don’t quite hit the mark (thinking of Mom).
I also discovered that I don’t have to think every person is a “good guy” for them to matter. People do awful things. They do. I can be disgusted by things people say and do but still see their humanity. Sounds simple but it’s hard for me to get my head around. Like my coworker’s grandmother said, “everybody’s a little crazy.” All of us.
I felt good today wearing my “You matter” shirt and painting good intentions into poorly lettered Reminder Rocks. it helped me send out positive thoughts, energy, intentions, or vibes even on this scary day. I kept channeling acceptance until I felt okay.
If we stick together in spite of our differences maybe we can turn this country into a less scary place, one kindness at a time. And even if we don’t, we can’t say we didn’t try.
The Hermits' Rest 