family – Page 2 – The Hermits' Rest

Self care everywhere

How do you make time for self-care?

I hadn’t planned to answer this, but seeing as it’s vital to me right now, I can share my seemingly endless supply of self care practices. Do I practice a lot of self care? Indeed I do. Do I feel bad about it? Nope. Right now it’s very important to care for our tender hearts. To balance the negativity around us with positive energy, we need to protect our energy so we can share some. Not all!

So, what do I do? Here is an incomplete list:

Every morning I sit with Lee on the porch drinking coffee and looking at birds. It’s a gentle start to a day.
I also do my Finch self-care birb app before I start working. I do deep breathing, list some positive thoughts, reach out to others and have gentle fun with friends on the app.
During work days I try to get out and walk at least twice, to get the mail, feed the fish, etc. Mail and fish both are fun and (usually) relaxing.
I limit exposure to the political news. I find positive news to read about.
I do my nails weird colors and patterns. It forces me to take a break and do something just for me every week. Like my knitting and crocheting, the process is more important for my self care than the product.
I make sure to spend time with friends and family. I have two online meetings per week with friends, plus my monthly tarot group. And I have lunch every Wednesday with a group of women who support each other and make me laugh. I often meet friends for breakfast or dinner, and I try to have good conversations with my local family as much as possible. They are positive and care for us.
The horses, dogs, and poultry are part of my self care. Sure, feeding and caring for animals can be a chore, but it makes me feel good to interact with them. And it gets me out of the house.
Blogging is also self care. I work things out in my mind when I write, and I enjoy the conversations with others than blog entries can start. It’s part of community building, and since my audience is small, I don’t have to deal with unkind comments. Thank you, readers.

Whew. That’s a lot. In today’s self care, my tarot group met tonight, and I got the most sad and negative bunch of cards ever. It just confirms that I’m going through a challenging phase. The good news is that it pointed to Lee as someone to help guide me past this and return to equilibrium. There’s always going to be positive and negative “stuff” floating around, after all.

And as for stuff, all our “stuff” is now flowing through new pipes as it heads toward the septic tank.

The pad will be centered around the window in the photo

Now that hurdle is passed, the prep for all our future concrete paths and the massive pad for the water tank can continue. It’s quite a project!

Penney found a used piece of pipe and really enjoyed it. Yuck!

An unrealistic wish

What’s one thing you wish you had started doing earlier in life?

Being honest with myself, I wish I had taken horseback riding lessons when I was younger and more able to learn. It would have been so much fun to work with horses and learn to ride well. Also I would just like to have had the opportunity to take care of horses and learn how to keep them healthy from a young age. It was my dream.

My sweet Apache, who really isn’t fond of being ridden.

Hey. I lived in working-class towns and was part of a one-income family with large medical bills. There was no money for extras, nor was there any way to get to a horse other than rare visits. So I set other, more manageable goals and was very appreciative of the help I got to do other things I loved, like singing and writing. (I also wish I could have had voice lessons.) I’m absolutely fine with my life. No complaints.

I did get to spend over a decade learning about horses and I still get to care for my beautiful equine friends. Having space at the ranch and funds to care for horses has been a dream come true.

Now Apache gets to hang out with Spice and walk around with me.

An aside: I never thought I’d have any income that covers more than food and housing. I know I’m privileged. Knowing there are people who don’t even have that is sobering. Basic life expenses should be within everyone’s reach.

This was a nice diversion from thinking about having to go for more dental work tomorrow. I know it won’t be as bad as last time, but it’s on my mind. Other diversions have been watching football (Cowboys won) and jumping in the car to locate a grass fire and make sure firefighters were on the way. They were!

Now I’m at an inexpensive hotel luxuriating and feeling grateful I don’t have to drive in from the ranch for the 8 am appointment.

I have football, Ritz crackers, and guacamole. Ahh.

Many of you dear readers are in my thoughts. So much pain in the world, physical and mental! Your empath friend feels it.

Can you dig it?

Yes, I can. Today a lot got done around the house, and some of it was by me! I can dig that. I managed to go to the #1 Cameron meeting place, the bakery, and not be late. That’s because I mis-remembered the meeting time. So I got to talk to all the employees and other friends while I waited for Mike and Martha. We discussed our upcoming trip to Ruidoso (for longer this time).

My view as I waited. There’s a kid quietly playing in the kid area. A nice change of pace.

I steeled myself to be cheerful and positive as I did all the errands I was too slothful to do last week. I paid more for gas today than I ever have in my life. For some reason that inspired me to give the random sad-looking person sitting outside the station the change from buying my soda. Maybe it balanced out my irritation at the gas prices.

The first cheerful sight today was three Great Egrets all at once. That’s unusual here.

On my way to Tractor Supply to get animal feed in Rockdale, I passed all my favorite political candidates and waved. I also noted yard signs and a billboard. Wow! That cheered me up enough to enjoy the folks at Tractor Supply even when I had to wait to get loading help (I have tweaked my back). I got a shirt that says “Positive Vibes” to commemorate my improved mood. ) I could dig that, too!

Next I headed to the pharmacy, because I couldn’t drag myself over there to pick up a prescription before it expired. The bonus was my expensive prescription my insurance won’t pay was also ready. AND they had time to vaccinate me for flu and COVID, which we elders need. The new pharmacist is a very sweet young man who’s fun to talk to. He has a button earring. It’s so cute. I’m glad one of the new pharmacists is nice, since my favorite one finally escaped (I’m going into all this detail to show I made an effort to be a good influence in the world today.)

There was actual digging at the ranch today! The next phase of our water retention setup got into motion. It was great to see our ancient backhoe finally fixed and back at work! It’s more than a lawn ornament!

The dirt has to be dug away to build the foundation for the water tank next to the house, as well as pumps and filters. It was interesting to be reminded just how much dirt we brought in to create our foundation and get the drainage right. The black at the bottom of the reddish fill is the black land clay.

The white pipe is the sewer line that must move.

All went well with the digging except the sewer line out of our bathrooms got nicked. It was going to have to be moved anyway, it turns out. I’m relieved to report it’s fixed enough to work until the line gets moved into its new position.

There’s a lot of precise measurement required to do all the digging correctly, and I’m really impressed that the huge machine can be made to do such fine work. We’re lucky to have a resident tractor ballet expert at our house!He can dig it, very well!

What did Lee and I do during all the digging? We’ve been watching Lee’s favorite YouTube channel, which is a guy in Canada who does bookbinding. (Find the videos under Four Keys Book Arts.) What a complex process that is! The guy has a very pleasant demeanor, so calm and relaxed that you almost miss his puns.

Three books the guy bound for the author Andy Weir. The video series was called Project Hail Andy.

My favorite parts are when he does paper marbling and leather tooling, but it’s all more interesting than you might expect. I do think it’s funny that we’ve turned into people who spend their weekends watching stuff like this, but it’s certainly less stressful than the news.

And I can dig that!

If pets could talk

If your pet could talk, what would be the first thing it says?

Feed me. Now I need a nap.

I’m worried about various illnesses. Dogs have bad allergies (Penney got steroids). Black widows are on the prowl again. My mental health is slipping—I can’t make myself do things i know I need to do. I just want to read.

I guess I couldn’t do much outside anyway, since they fertilized the field across the road and it smells like a very ripe diaper. I still have humor.

Blessings abound

What’s something you do completely differently from how you were raised?

Since I’ve been near the area where I spent my childhood, I’ve been thinking quite a bit about how my nuclear family of origin worked. I’ve also been thinking what a blessing it was to spend time with my long-time friend, Vicki. Thus, the answer to the blog prompt jumped right out of my subconscious.

I do not say a blessing before every meal. However, our semi-non religious family felt the need to say these words.

God is great, God is good, let us thank him for our food. By his hands we are fed. Thank him for our daily bread. Father, Son, Holy Ghost, Amen (including hand gestures).

This gave young Suna much to think about. I did attend Presbyterian Sunday School, so I knew who God was. But why did they try to rhyme “good” with “food?” and hey, we did not eat bread every day, just on weekends. And why the crossing of ourselves after the Protestant blessing? The answer was that Dad came from a Methodist family and Mom from a Catholic one, so we did both things from some loyalty or something. I didn’t get a good answer as to why we did the meal ritual if we weren’t religious. Nonetheless, this was done until Mom died, even though I was a tree-hugging atheist at that point. Even when Dad later became a Quaker we were exempt.

Anyway, no, I don’t do Christian rituals by rote anymore. I do send out good energy in thanks for animals and plants who nourish me, and I say a blessing when I see dead animals on the side of the road or whenever I experience awe. I do still count my blessings, though I think they come from Spirit, whatever that is.

The spirit in the sky! Where I’m gonna go when I die, or some kind of song lyric.

Well, I’m done with that topic now. Although I must warn you that tomorrow I will have more encounters with unholy ghosts of my mother’s past.

I need protective feathers! (This is from a Wild Turkey)

Today, though, was a vast improvement over yesterday. Lee kindly drove me back over the three state park loop again, so I could photograph the scenery. There was no negativity, complaining, or grumpiness. (He may have used it all up yesterday, which was a bad day for him).

I even made him look at the Fairchild Oak and the seeping creek.

We also enjoyed getting to watch the pool at the condos get repaired. It’s so much fun to watch guys pumping and smoothing the coating. Then they started filling it up! I guess if I’d waited a week, I could have gone swimming here.

Work was much more interesting today, too, and I enjoyed helping folks until we had a final dinner with Vicki, back at Angelina’s, across from the condo. I’m glad I made the trip.

Negotiations are no fun

Most of today was work. The rest, many long hours, was taken up with the dreaded condo meeting which we have skillfully managed to avoid for a few years. Today, though, we had something we wanted to do with our ownership.

Most of the time these salespeople make you sit around and stew while they write up presentations. We confused them, because we had specific information we wanted to find out. I just kept asking my questions.

Eventually we negotiated to close enough what we wanted, which will set us up nicely to sell the thing next year or whenever I stop working. But I’m wiped out. Lee is exhausted from not yelling and making a scene. I’m proud of him.

The nice condo we went to had some good decorative elements. Here are nice lamps.

There was one highlight, which was having a good talk about politics with our salesman, who was our age. We told him we have some hope for Texas in November. He told us one reason he lives in Hawaii is it’s so red.

So, no anecdotes or bird stories today. I’m thinking of the tropical storm than has crossed into Texas and hoping it sends rain to the ranch.

My kind friend

What’s the kindest thing someone has ever done for you?

(Today there were no parks visited and my only outings were to return the rental car because our car is here now and to eat lunch at the sparkling clean diner across from the condo. Thus I’ll answer this question, since the answer lies close to here.)

I have to share at least one flower. It’s a perennial peanut, Native to Brazil.

First, many wonderful people have been very kind to me throughout my life, and I strive to remember kindnesses and forget the other stuff.

Meme I saw of three “saints” of recent times. My friends aren’t saints, but are still appreciated.

One kindness always comes to my mind, though, and it made me grateful for lifelong friendships. What happened is that when my father died, I was hit hard—he was in an accident at the age of 80, which seems to be a common age for outstanding humans to pass on. I felt very alone, even though I had Lee and the kids.

My friend Vicki knew I could use some support, and as the closest non-family member friend I had, she drove over from where she lived in another part of North Carolina to be with me and make sure I was taken care of. She had known and loved my parents, too. I know her presence helped me be strong during the funeral and the endless receiving line (Dad was very popular, and the church couldn’t fit all the people).

High school Vicki. We met in chorus class.

Everyone deserves friends who are there when you need them, and Vicki is one. It was important for me to come see her here in Florida and remind her that she, too, has a friend who loves her exactly as she is.

Quite a few of you reading this blog are among my circle of dear friends, even if we see each other seldom or have trouble meeting up. Just remember that you have a friend in me.

Visiting Mom (and more)

When I was planning this trip to northern Florida, it occurred to me that I wouldn’t be too far from the ancestral home of my mother’s side of the family, and their last hurrah in Green Cove Springs. (That town name took up lots of trace when addressing an envelope so I will call it GCS from now on.) It was, in the middle of the 20th century, when I used to visit Saintly Aunt Belle and all the Canovas, a quaint small town centered around a sulphur spring and a grand bath house for taking in the waters, which then flowed into the St. John’s River, which famously flows north.

I had not been back since December 1984, at my mom’s funeral. Let’s just say that was an episode my dad, brother, and I wanted to put far behind us as we raced away vowing to “never see those g-d people again” to paraphrase Dad. Since all “those people” are dead, and the neighborhood is a Walgreens, I felt it was safe to return. I brought Vicki so she could beat away any ghosts with her cane.

First we had to see Elvis. I asked for his blessing

We stopped for lunch in scenic Palatka, which still resembles Palatka but with some new stores. We ate at Florida’s oldest diner (apparently only since an older diner closed). Angel’s Dining car is in a real old dining car and has lots of milkshakes. We ate other food, however, and and I especially liked the sweet potato fries.

As we drove to GCS, I needed to stop to do a meeting with my boss (I took off most of the day). As I slowed down to turn into a driveway, we passed two Highway Patrol cars that had pulled someone over. The next thing I knew, we were being pulled over. I was confused. It turns out that I should have jumped into the left lane when we passed them.

I was all perky and nice, so I accepted my warning and promised to do better. As Mr. Trooper headed back to his car, a red truck went by in our lane. He got immediately pulled over! I guess there’s an information campaign going on about slowing down AND getting in the left lane, which I would have done if I wasn’t trying to turn right. Lesson learned.

While much of the area near GCS looks unfamiliar, the cemetery looks the same. In fact, I drove straight to the right plot where all those Canovas and their spouses are interred. Then I got confused because there were pinwheels all around, so I drove around a bit. Mom’s headstone had a pinwheel thing next to it. Perhaps my estranged sister put it there before she moved to Texas. If so, that’s an old pinwheel.

The round thing under 13 is a blue marble the color of Mom’s birthstone. I added that.

I told Mom, who is not there, of course, that I miss her but am fine. By the way, Mom was not Catholic; the person who arranged for her funeral and headstone was, though. See why we left? Anyway, here are some of my other dead relatives’ markers.

Maternal grandparents – my grandfather was a great guy.

We looked around a bit more, identified some plants, and went to Spring Park, very near the Walgreens where the crazy Canova children grew up (actually that house was one street over and now has a funeral home on it).

Here’s the spring now. The circular opening is what used to have a fence around it.

The Spring Park has been made very nice, which pleased me. The bath house is gone, but there’s a grand city hall across the street. The refurbished spring-fed pool is lovely.

Spring facts. What is doesn’t mention is the sulphur smell.

My happiest moment came when I saw that the outflow into the river was just as it once was. Crystal clear water briskly flowing into the river, full of fish and water plants.

The river area is not all built up, which pleased me. The only birds were Boat-tailed Grackles, but they were entertaining enough. We did see a Roseate Spoonbill on the way back, so all was well.

We made it back to the condo through some bad rain, which they need here, too. After a rest, Vicki and I ate so-so Italian food. She was a trooper today. I’m not gonna force her on my marathon of parks tomorrow, though. That will be solo.

Vicki found this green lacewing larva wearing its disguise of lichen. How cool!

It was good to have someone with me today. I didn’t know how I’d take visiting the source of childhood negativity again. But mostly I remembered how my father took care of me when relatives were snippy, and how kind the compassionate family members were to our nuclear family. I’ve done the work and came out healthier! Whoop!

What are little dogs made of?

We have a better idea about what at least two of our dogs are made of, now that Carlton and Benito’s Embark tests have come back. There were mysteries solved and theories confirmed, too. My guess is that Penney’s swab didn’t take, because hers didn’t come back.

You don’t need DNA results for us. We are obviously American Stair Dogs. (They spend much of their days here. Penney is trained to move her front paws when I approach.)

I was pretty sure Benito was not the purebred Chihuahua that he was purchased as. People guessed he had Fox Terrier or Miniature Pinscher.

I was right about our little fellow. At least one of his parents was a mutt.

My guess is that one grandparent was a total mutt. The Poodle surprised me, though.

I never had any good guesses about Carlton other than there must be some pit bull in there. And there had to be some breeds with the Merle gene.

We had a nice rest this evening. He’s my big lap dog.

It turns out Carlton is a big ole mix, as we knew, but there are some good surprises in there.

He’s about as pitty as I expected but the Mountain Cur thing threw me for a loop. I didn’t know we had any of those here. We do have lots of cowdogs that they call curs, but I thought those were mostly Black Mouth Curs. Seeing the ACD in there makes me surmise one parent was a working dog with those breeds mixed in. Then the other parent was probably a small dog that looked like a lab. Carlton has carefully hidden his Chihuahuan heritage. That’s a hoot.

Who knows how it works out? They are both quite the mixes! And I know enough to take these analyses with a grain of salt. I would have loved seeing what breeds contributed to Harvey, but there was no way he was gonna let me swab his saliva!

I didn’t pay the extra money to get their health analysis. Benito should be hardy now that his heart worms are treated. And I know Carlton has weird eyes. That’s enough.

Nothing wrong with uneventful days

Yeah, the last couple of days have been fairly low stress, with just a couple of bobbles. Also the blog prompts are so repetitive that I didn’t feel like answering the last few. Nonetheless, there have been highlights.

Master Naturalist meeting was last night, and I even made the end of the Board meeting (but missed some ruffled feelings, thankfully). A highlight of the meeting was getting a photo with all our living Presidents as our current one received a commemorative Bald Eagle pin.

The other highlight has been Stumpy’s growing popularity with its avian buddies. We now have little flocks of House Sparrows vying for stump space, as well as Cardinals seeking out their sunflower seeds. My patience has really paid off! Here are blurry phone photos to prove it. I’ll have to bring out the good camera now that there’s something to photograph.

Look at all the birds in the tree awaiting their turn.

I’ve felt good about work, because I’ve hit a few deadlines, but I’m glad the weekend is here. We had a pleasant dinner with my son and his partner at the new restaurant in town, which always is a pleasure. I do enjoy the little downtown area.

It rained somewhere near here this evening, but not here. We are back in crispy season, with extreme heat and brown plants. I’m glad to have water to look at here! Tomorrow I’m working with the water garden some more, too.