friendship – Page 4 – The Hermits' Rest

Yes, What I Expected

Is your life today what you pictured a year ago?

A year ago? I figured the uncertainty and long parade of unexpected setbacks around me would continue. They did. I also figured I’d just stick to dealing with what I could control, and I was pretty successful at that. Honestly, with a pessimistic outlook like that, focusing on the moment and your own business is a good plan.

Twilight of the day, of the year, of this life. All good.

At this point last year I’d already concluded that nothing I do is going to change how people who once loved me treat me now, and that my best tactic is to love the people I love without any limits, just appropriate boundaries. That’s worked, too! Hmm, I’m reminded of the fictional dating service they had on Saturday Night Live called “Lowered Expectations.”

I decided around this time a couple of years ago to drop expectations of how others will act and to step back from trying to get closer to people I care about. I just go out and be me. That’s truly worked out well, because I’ve felt more welcome and appreciated in my community since then.

I’ll go my own way, with a peaceful heart

I think I’ll keep it up, and keep enjoying the beauty around me and snatching up fun times as they occur. There will be more bouncy houses, I hope!

Speaking of fun, I had a nice brunch this morning with Pouri, and we got to talk a bit. Then I enjoyed an stress-free drive home, even in Dallas. Plano sure looks clean and tidy compared to Cameron. Quite a contrast!

I’m glad to be back with my messy horses and barking dogs (one snoring).

Did I answer the question? I expected little change for me, personally, but lots around me. That is how it worked out.

Daily Bird

Today Merlin heard a kestrel! That made me happy, because I rarely see or hear them here on the Hermits’ Rest ranch, though I see one all the time down by my neighbor’s place. I guess individuals don’t have a large territory.

They sure are beautiful little birds. I’ve seen them catch food a couple of times and go back to their telephone or electric wires. I wonder what they say on before those were invented? (Trees)

Birds and Babes

Today I’m starting off with the birds, because even though I had limited bird time today, I got a lot of fun sights and sounds in.

I think the cardinals are posing. They’re everywhere, flapping and chirping.

The most dramatic sight was watching the red-tailed hawk get chased off her perch by a crow (I say “her” because the hawk is very large). I got some good photos and turned a couple of the live ones into little movies.

The start

More pestering

Hawk is annoyed

The other birds, meanwhile were just all a-flutter. The Harris’s sparrows were really busy, but there were 8 other kinds in the mix. I also enjoyed a couple of wrens and house finch groups that weren’t at all shy. It was fun! But I had to leave.

Babes?

I left home to go to Plano to see baby Ruby, who is actually a two-year-old chatterbox now. I also went to see Pouri and Elmira/Ellie, my Persian “sister” and bonus daughter. I miss them a lot, because they’ve always welcomed me and treated me so kindly. It feels so great to feel unconditional love!

I’m not that tall. My shoes have hidden heels I think.

I really enjoyed the party, because Ellie and Jimmy have such nice friends and families and wow, all the children there were so happy and fun to watch. They just played like crazy and the parents were so good at soothing and redirecting when needed. I was impressed.

This little girl cooked and cooked on this excellent play kitchen that makes cooking noises.

The best thing was the bouncy house in the back yard. Those little ones were filled with joy and energy and had a blast. All but one were girls and no one screeched!

Proof I bounced.

The little boy is Ellie’s nephew and as cute as he can be. Watching him play with the toy ice cream shop and car wash was so much fun for me. He’s a little engineer or scientist in the making.

Ruby and the ice cream shop toy. It’s very clever.

I’d have felt jealous or sad since I don’t get to hang out with grandkids much, but Pouri let me pretend to be a grandmother, so I just sat and smiled at the cuteness.

I did end up passing in a few of the things I’d have given to my grandkids to Ellie and Jimmy, with all my love. I gave a Peter Rabbit cup and saucer my dear stepmom had given Declan with intentions to pass them to his children. He said it’s fine to pass them on. I also gave Ellie my three beautiful story books of different cultures that had been my mother’s as a child. They are now almost 100 years old. I think Ruby will enjoy the beautiful illustrations and the Japanese haiku.

There was crying involved in that exchange but mostly it was very satisfying to see the thoughtful and engaging gifts that the little ones had so much fun with. There was lots of food and role playing stuff, all things any preschool child would enjoy.

I also enjoyed the cake. Dang, the kids all took turns nicely, really loved singing English and Persian birthday songs, and were patient with problematic candles. Everyone just laughed, including when Ruby steadily picked individual sprinkles off the cake. She likes sprinkles a lot. This was such a low-stress event.

I came back to the same hotel I usually stay at, walked around by a creek, and enjoyed some quiet knitting time. I enjoyed my day being an honorary grandma and seeing my friends.

I got a reindeer party favor because there were extras. I made her a collar. It says Vixen. That was my childhood reindeer toy’s name. Ellie sent carrots home with each toy (technically a caribou).

She Cares

Tell us one thing you hope people say about you.

I’d love it if people said about me that I cared about others. Other stuff, well, we look different to everyone we interact with.

And sometimes I look goofy. This is me and my friend Phyllis pretending we’re eagles, because for some reason we were given eagle pins for bring Master Naturalist past Presidents.

I did manage to gussy myself up enough to approve of my hair and outfit for the party I was at this evening. As always, the Master Naturalist holiday party was fun, and it sure was nice to have it in one of the buildings our family worked on.

I enjoyed all the awards and recognition for people who worked so hard the past year. There were some heartfelt thanks for long-time officers who are moving on to let others do their jobs (some quite happily), and lots of happiness with new volunteers. I’m still the secretary, but enjoyed getting my eagle pin for being President, since I did it during COVID.

Alan is telling us why we are bald eagles

There were two things that touched me. One was that Catherine, who has commented often here in the past, gave me a beautiful old copy of O Pioneers! by Willa Cather. She said Cather reminded her of me. This is a book I’ve always meant to read-read, since I first read it when I was very young and don’t remember much except there were Swedish people in it. What a nice gift.

The second one was that I got the WOW iNaturalist award for the month from Linda Jo, our iNat cheerleader. It was for all the observations I got in the Pollinator BioBlitz in October. I didn’t think anyone had noticed that I did really well in it, but she did. I felt so good!

We did the Yankee gift swap thing as usual. I got my gift by stealing. It’s a cute glass birdbath I can use by the pool. My favorite part of the gift was a wooden dove that says “peace” that was part of the wrapping. Photos later.

I sure enjoyed my time with the generous and talented friends I’ve made in this program. I hope they know I’m saying nice things about all of them.

So Much to Be Happy About

It really was a great day today. I don’t think the weather could have been better, all the animals were happy, and people were nice, too. This was the kind of day I’d hoped to have when I was a kid thinking about when I grew up.

Plus I saw this Queen butterfly on a vitex bush at the local coffee shop.

All my meetings were pleasant today, with good conversation and productivity. I finished a tedious task so now I can look forward to more fun work next week. I even sort of enjoyed a lot of tedious copying and pasting to make a list of every tag ever used in my Master Naturalist blog. Dang.

Lunch break was at the coffee shop with Anita, where I had a great coffee and huge salad. We listened to Chris the owner’s spouse talk about music and our mutual love of Ruidoso, New Mexico. Then we got all our talking in. We get to hang out again tomorrow, because I’m going Thanksgiving shopping with her tomorrow (Lee won’t grocery shop on weekends). What a nice break!

Birds flying to their roost at sunset. Cries I think. Or vultures.

After finishing work I enjoyed working with the horses. Drew even let me get some burs off the front of his head! the key was doing it while he ate. Tomorrow I’ll work on it more. But being out with them in the perfect weather was just ideal.

All this, and there were still more burs on him.

Finally, I went to a “hat bar” thing that my friend Courtney held at her store. I enjoyed watching the young woman who decorated the hats and had fun designing one for myself. She put a pansy on it for me.

The snacks were unique. They featured a huge armadillo sculpted out of cream cheese and filled with ham dip. It was ultra realistic and took folks a while to get up the courage to break into it. Whoever made it is talented!

Most interesting dip sculpture I ever saw

Anyhow, the hat thing was fun, though I felt sort of old and in the wrong social group (it was mostly the fashionable young women of town). But there were a couple women over 50, plus two people I knew.

Courtney did some hat burning, too, and was really proud of her leopard spots. She has to be good at it, since half the items in the store are leopard print (note shoes on customer in photo).

I had lots of fun with my friend Jenecia, who was in my Master Naturalist class with me. I hardly ever see her when she isn’t working one of her many entrepreneurial ventures, so getting to just laugh and catch up was nice.

I had more fun helping her find materials for her hat than mine, and it came out so cute!

My hat had a theme of matching Drew’s tack, as if I’ll wear a hat when working with him. But it’s going to go with lots of my clothing.

And as if the day couldn’t end any better, I walked outside to see all the pretty lights in the town square. Every day Cameron gets a little better.

There. Just wanted to share a good, full day of friends and fun.

Daily Bird

Today’s bird is the belted kingfisher, because I got to enjoy our winter resident as it flew around the front pond today. It seems to make the rounds of the three tanks/ponds near our house, judging from when I hear it. I see it often, too. Kingfishers have such a distinctive shape that they’re easy to spot.

The only other kingfisher I’ve seen is the ringed kingfisher I saw at the National Butterfly Center, which is in the northernmost part of its range.

I like to watch these birds. I can remember the first time I saw one, which was on some river. It must have been in Illinois at the little park by a large creek. I saw it catch a fish! I’ve seen that a few times.

We’re lucky to have one here at the Hermits’ Rest. I think I annoy it by trying to take a photo of it, but it’s because I love it!

Eye Witness to the Circle of Life

Today was a great camping day here at Buescher State Park. I’d like to start the highlights with some coolness that happened right at my campsite.

This is a Gulf fritillary butterfly in the straggler daisies behind our motorhome. I was knitting and enjoying the afternoon as various butterflies flitted by. This one seemed to have an agenda.

It flew over to a vine just beyond the edge of the woods. The butterfly spent a lot of time going from leaf to leaf. I actually hadn’t noticed the vine before, but looking at it I realized it resembled a passion vine. I hadn’t seen any here yet, and there it was, right in front of me.

As I was taking the photo above I noticed something. There were two caterpillars on the vine. I took pictures of them, too. Then I went to look up the plant and the insect.

Well. The plant was a yellow passionflower (Passiflora lutea). The caterpillars were Gulf fritillary babies. The butterfly had been laying eggs. Right there, the whole circle of life! Now I know the host flower for these guys.

As for the rest of the day, it started with chatting by the breakfasts of various fellow camping friends. Then I sort of led an interpretive hike down a wooded trail with seven other people. It was fun teaching the two kids some stuff as well as learning from all the campers.

We found some pretty flowers among the trees, including exuberant liatris, pink ruellia, and these darling tiny blue curls.

I enjoyed walking with folks who were as excited about little flowers as me, and a couple of the fellow campers were great observers. We even geeked out over fungi and molds.

It was a great time, but we ended up tired!

I did my nails a dark yet sparkly celestial color for the end of my beloved Daylight Savings Time, then hung out with various friends in the afternoon. It’s so good talking to people who know and accept you.

I made egg salad for the traditional Live Oak potluck meal. The eggs weren’t cooperative so it took a while, but it ended up tasty. Especially with homemade salsa on it.

For a small group we ended up with a perfect variety of foods. We just fit in the tent pad on one of our campsites. It was great to all be able to talk to each other. There was only one couple I hadn’t met yet, who were lots of fun and very interesting. What a good time.

The gang, minus Joanna and Tom, cause she has to preach tomorrow.

On our way back to our site, Lee and I tried to take star pictures. Mine are only okay because I moved and messed up Jupiter. We also tried to get some of the lake.

What a great day!

Another Day, Another Bunch of Plants…Plus Friends!

Today at woodsy ole Buescher State Park was as good as it gets (other than having to grocery shop). I got a bunch of work done, enjoyed my meetings, and was able to take a long walk in the morning. My coworkers loved seeing this in their Zoom meeting.

I was able to find a bit of plant diversity by sticking to the edges of the lake, the dam, and fields. The woods are gorgeous but have mostly the same plants.

Around the lake there were lots of interesting plants and unusual (to me) flowers. There were so many fun shapes and growing habits.

I’m too tired to identify things. Sorry. Why am I tired? It’s a good kind of tired. I got to spend the late afternoon and evening with old friends. First, I got to hang out with my Cameron friends Mike and Martha at their big campsite. It has logs to sit on, so we sat on logs for a good long time.

Martha made a little altar out of chert rocks, sticks, and such. I added red rocks because they are so pretty. This was the compromise, because you’re not supposed to take things home from these parks.

After dinner, Mike and Lee tended a fire at our campsite, and slowly but surely other folks from our group wandered in. We had lots of laughs and told many good stories.

We were trying not to be too loud and not bother the folks who pulled in after dark and were setting up at the site next to us. Then, when they called my name, we realized it was more of us, the church minister and her husband. So we were fine. I was impressed they set up a new tent in the dark. We all had such relaxed fun. I know a lot of good story tellers! My cheeks hurt from laughing again!

Stars through the trees. Big and bright.

There are still a couple more families to catch up with, but I think this will be a nice sized group of current and former Live Oak UU members.

We will have more fires! No more drought!

Here are some other sights from today, including a drive on the scenic road to Bastrop State Park where we went through areas where pines are recovering from the 2011 fire. I hope you enjoy all the trees.

I Had a Party and Didn’t Stress Out

Here’s the key to not getting stressed when hosting an event: do it away from your house. Our little Airbnb, the Red House on Fannin, is a great place to hold a small gathering. It is so convenient to have a kitchen and lots of space for “stuff.”

So, some of my friends had asked me to tell them how I do my nails with the Color Street strips. It occurred to me that we could have fun doing it in a group.

When I mentioned it to Rebecca, who actually sells the stuff, she volunteered to send along a bunch of the nice accessories, like nail files, orange sticks, cuticle pushers, and more. She sent so many goodies! I really enjoyed being able to give them to my friends.

I wrote up a tips and tricks document for the attendees, too. At the party, I just answered questions and did one friend’s nails. That was hard, because sadly, some of the old ones dried up. We Zoomed Rebecca in from Washington, which was an added treat.

My chair is the empty one. We filled the room.

The best part, though, was the snacking and chatting and laughing. It ended up being a really congenial mix of women, and it felt good to introduce people and hear them say they made a new friend. I’m smiling just thinking about it. I agreed with my friend Jeannette that we’ve both made more friends here than anywhere else we’ve lived, even though this is a small place.

What a great feeling! I enjoyed seeing Anita meet more new folks, too. In the end, we agreed to get together again, with or without nail polish.

I’ve sure enjoyed all sorts of friends in the last week. It sure helps even out feelings of hopelessness and helplessness about world events and tragedies closer to home. I’m sending out lots of love, though.

Other People Are Also Screwed Up

Share a lesson you wish you had learned earlier in life.

If I had known when I was younger that all the people I thought were just happily swimming through life were actually like me, confused, vulnerable, wounded, and misunderstood. (Insert other common issues here.)

I’m misunderstood. I’m not being friendly just so I can get hoof trimmings.

I didn’t really figure out that my perceived flaws and imperfections were shared by many of those folks I thought were so happy until I was well into adulthood, maybe 15 years ago. I’m glad I had a helpful therapist!

Here are beautiful golden rain lilies for all of you.

For example, when I asked my friend Anita to answer some interview questions to respond to another blog prompt, one of the women we went to high school with, who we thought was perky and popular and carefree at the time, wrote about how much we had in common in our teen years. If only we’d known back then!

Not everything is as it seems. This stuff came off Apache’s feet. Thanks, Sara!

So remember, friends, you aren’t alone. Take time to look past your stereotypes and you might find fascinating friends you can heal with.

Is There an Ideal Week?

Describe your ideal week.

I thought about this all day long today, and I had plenty of time to think as I worked in the actual Dell Technologies offices today. The scenery didn’t distract me, even though I had a window view.

Ooh, look, the 45 Toll Road! It leads straight to my dentist, which is why I was in the area.

I’m sure there’s some Golden Perfect week that involves riding horses on the beach, bathing in a spring-fed pond, working on the Great Sunarian Novel, knitting in a hammock on a porch with bird feeders nearby, and eating nothing but oysters, fish, fresh veggies and ripe fruit…but that’s not realistic.

Excuse me, you forgot to mention petting dogs.

Realistically, I think I’ve got all the ingredients it takes to make for a perfect week, right here in scenic Milam County, Texas. Here are the components of my perfect week, which might not all occur in any one week:

Meaningful work. I’m glad I have a job I like to bring in money and challenge me.
Writing. I’ll have to write every day, line I do now.
Reading. I read constantly when not knitting, writing, or horsing.
Horses. Every day I want quality time with horses, to make up for the years I didn’t have any. I will keep riding and learning.
Other pets. I have to be with the doggies and chickens to remind myself there are so many ways to live and love.
Volunteer work. I like my Master Naturalist work and want to do it as much as I can squeeze in.
Swimming. I never used to like it, but I enjoy it all year now.
Meditation. As I wrote about earlier, it’s part of any ideal week.
Travel. Not every week, but often, I want to go camping, or to a condo in a new place.
Friends. I love that I have scheduled times to see friends in person and Zoom every week.
Family. Time just talking and laughing with Lee hard to happen regularly. I’m hoping tune with the rest of the family will become regular soon.
Hanging out in nature. It’s a must or I get all irritated and irritating. I need to feel like I’m a small part of the big picture.

Wow. I just kept going there. The good news is that I usually have most of these things every week, so my life is now ideal. Yay, I made it to where I hoped I’d be when I was younger!

Note: in any ideal week the temperature will NOT be over 100°F nor will there be a polar vortex. But, thanks, humanity, you’ve guaranteed extremes for the rest of my life. That’s not ideal, is it?

Why Do I Blog?

Why do you blog?

Oh good, today’s blog prompt is at least easier than yesterday’s, though I can’t complain. My interview with Anita yesterday went over very well and started interesting conversations and apparently even gave some of her old friends new information. That was fun!

Now, today I’m supposed to tell you why I blog. The thing about this is that there are so many reasons that I may end up blathering away. I really enjoy blogging, though; perhaps that’s the main reason! I like writing, especially on topics that aren’t all serious like my work stuff.

Another reason I blog is that it creates a kind of community. I’ve enjoyed reading blogs since blogs were invented, and the insights into other people’s lives I’ve gotten have expanded my knowledge about different cultures and ways of thinking. I’ve found that interacting with folks in the comments is a way to make new friends. The feedback really is a lot of fun for me.

Blogging is also a way to keep in touch with far-flung friends and family. In the last century, people wrote letters to keep up with those they care about. I was also a big letter writer when I was in my teens and twenties, which I didn’t realize until I found a huge box of letters I’d received that were obviously in response to letters I’d written. I also emailed a lot when that came around, but I no longer have time to write long emails to everyone I want to talk to. So it’s a one-way blog blast (and I just hope those folks comment on my Facebook posts of the blog to keep the communication more two way.

In other posts I’ve made on this topic (which I am too lazy to look up, but I remember writing) I’ve talked about how blogging can also be a way of talking to myself, but also sharing it so I can get feedback. I used to journal but when there was no potential audience, I got maudlin and to be honest, I think I lied to myself. For some reason, I’m more “truthful” if I think there may be someone around to call me on any self-indulgent or overly dramatic crap I spew forth. There, a somewhat shameful admission from me.

More mundane reasons I blog are so I’ll be able to check out my pictures and memories of my travels, my work with the horses, and the things we do around the ranch (which can be challenging sometimes, because sometimes I’m not sure if it’s okay for me to share what other people here do).

I can share my old but happy Hoya plant.

It’s great fun to take photos to go with blog posts, too. I’m glad that some of my friends also enjoy them. Someday I hope phone photos look forward to a time when phone photos look a bit more like photos from a good camera. However, it will still be me taking the pictures, so you get what you get.

A tiny ray of cheer. Something is still blooming.

Thanks for reading, everyone. And yes, Mary, I do think there are more than five readers. But I’d love to hear from more of you, so feel free to comment, if you can.

How do you like my Moonlight Swim nails?