The Hermits' Rest

Visiting Aransas National Wildlife Reserve

Yesterday we reluctantly checked out of our cute and convenient hotel, and after I bought a new hat (my Master Naturalist hat is now part of the oyster beds), we embarked on the journey to the nearby wildlife reserve. We’d seen the water side of it when we went on the boat ride. Now was time to see the land parts (and more water).

The Inn at Fulton Harbor is a pleasant place.

We were somewhat hampered by the fact that the headquarters had no power. But we wanted to be outside anyway. There were many plants and birds to identify. I went over to some oak trees and saw a Couch’s Kingbird and Great Kiskadee. That was a nice switch from all the water and shore birds earlier.

The bonus was an alligator, conveniently located in the alligator viewing area.

We next drove to Jones Lake, a freshwater lake on the reserve. It was really low, so all the life was concentrated around it. There was a group of Blue-winged Teals and one Greater Yellowlegs off on one side, and a family of feral hogs on the other. In the middle, in what little water was left, was an alligator.

Only after a while did we realize there was another gator on the shore. It was huge. It looked like it had eaten a piglet. I bet it’s famous in these parts!

Next we ventured past the bay on our way to the observation decks and boardwalks. No one wanted to go up but me, even though there was a ramp to go up, not stairs. The view was beautiful across the islands and water. I saw herons and egrets, but that’s about it for birds.

After that we walked the boardwalk and trail with our cameras going like crazy. Watching Linda Jo and Ann discussing the plants they encounter is quite educational. They know so much about nature. I’m privileged to get to spend time with them.

Once we were done, we took the long way back along the nine-mile interior road. It’s not spectacular scenery but it’s certainly an interesting ecosystem for all the animals, plants, and fishies. one thing is for sure: this place is huge. I’m glad we made this trip.

There definitely was a lot to see in this unique habitat.

Whew. We were done! We chatted on the way home and it seemed like no time until we were back.

I was wiped out when I got home but of course took care of the horses. Then I collapsed.

Today I did chores and more chores, but it was such a pleasant day that I enjoyed it all. As a bonus I went out in our former woods to see if any of the interesting wildflowers were blooming yet. Yes! The spring beauties were where they were last year! I do love those stripey darlings.

I also verified that although it’s dryer than usual, both our springs are still flowing. That’s a relief.

I also found a few bluebonnets starting to bloom, just a couple weeks late. I feel more settled.

Apache didn’t feel settled this afternoon. I was proud of how well he handled many trucks driving around and a lawn mower attacking his area. He didn’t get upset until we were done and Lee pulled the lawn mower up. I wish I’d gotten a picture of the stink eye he was giving Lee.

Instead, enjoy Penney in a rare display of dignity.

I guess in summary we had a great trip to the coast and it was equally fine to come home. On to week 2 of unemployment. I mean, retirement.

Losing Myself in Birds

What activities do you lose yourself in?

There are many activities I enjoy. Right now, though, birding is what I lose myself in. Time stands still and I let myself feel at peace when I’m watching their antics. They are so different and fascinating to me.

Today was all about birds, starting with a birding boat trip where I saw eight new birds for my life list. We went into the Aransas National Wildlife Refuge and were delighted by the variety of species good old Captain Tommy spotted (I spotted some, too).

The highlight, of course, was spotting many Whooping Cranes enjoying their crab fests. We lucked out and got to observe parents and a hefty juvenile fairly close. The crabbing was excellent.

We saw a couple of pairs fly off, too. Those massive aviators are so graceful.

We also got to see Oystercatchers nesting, many different gulls, Roseate Spoonbills, cormorants (both kinds), White Ibis, and young Great Blue Herons. The adults are all nesting.

You can’t see it, but an Oystercatcher nest is in that brush. We also saw many huge barges.

After the boat, we journeyed to Port Aransas, which was a longer ride than usual thanks to ferry delays (spring break). But the place we went was pretty darned impressive, even if it was right next to the sewer plant and garbage truck headquarters. It was the Leonabelle Turner Birding Center, with beautiful boardwalks overlooking hundreds of water birds.

The water was so clear you could see what the teals and shovelers were shoveling. Oh there were so many ducks!

There were also herons and egrets galore, who hung out with Ibises.

A flock of White Pelicans had camped out in the distance.

Also there were Long-billed Dowitchers, Black-necked Stilts, Coots, and Gallinules. So many birds. The stilts were hilarious and by far my favorite.

I’m too tired for more details, but we had a good day, especially when helping others or learning from more knowledgeable folks. We met many very cool people.

Whooping Cranes Don’t Make You Cough

My silly dear friend Mike said they do. Maybe that’s why they want you to stay a respectful Dusty from them.

Yes, I saw my first Whooping Cranes today, as two Master Naturalist friends and I headed to Rockport to see them. On the way down we “only” stopped three times to look at plants for iNaturalist. That was easier because there were still few wildflowers.

We did see a few pink evening primroses.

We only nearly lost our lives once when we were trying to turn left and a car didn’t notice I was stopped and signaling. I’m glad the other ladies couldn’t see in the rear-view mirror what I saw. But hey, flowers were seen.

We visited Goose Island to find the Whooping Cranes, which were hanging out with Roseate Spoonbills and Black-bellied Whistling Ducks. There was even a juvenile. We hope to see more tomorrow, but this was cool.

Even cooler to me was the incredible heron rookery we visited next. Oh my gosh, there were so many beautiful breeding Great Blue Herons! They were in beautiful windswept oaks.

I saw males bringing sticks to females, who would add them to their nests. They were very affectionate, rubbing necks and clicking one bill over another. I got to see mating and squabbling, too. This was truly awe-inspiring for me.

Later we visited another couple of places looking for birds, but mostly saw scenery.

Everyone else was in bed before 9 pm. I’m still here. More fun tomorrow.

Meteorological Warm Fuzzies

After all the horse hugging yesterday, I did not expect the weather to be nice to me today, but it was! Now, it’s still windy as heck, but I guess that’s typical March coming in like a lion stuff.

I’ve been unhappy with the weather, because all the flowers are coming up late, but it turns out it’s not just here. Friends elsewhere report similar late spring plant activity. I did go wander through the property today to check for flowers coming up, and they are there, just not up as far as usual. Whew.

The weather even blew a Barn Swallow into the house when a door blew open, which I’m sure was no fun for it. Luckily it found its way back out and the house isn’t all poopy.

The day was so lovely and sunny, though, which was a gift after so many days of angry clouds and dust. Imagine my surprise when we got a severe thunderstorm warning just as I was finishing a call with my financial advisor (depressing).

Can you see green leaves forming on the trees?

I went out to feed the animals and get everything all cozy, and even had time to ride Apache before it got ominous out. The rain that came was pleasant and didn’t last too long. Afterwards I noticed the sun came out while it was still drizzling. I knew was warm fuzzy gift that would bring!

It was one of the fullest rainbows I’d seen here in a long time. It was very intense, which is hard to tell from pictures.

Little things like light refracting on water droplets can make one’s day!

But more awaited me. The nearly full moon rose and peeked over some leftover rain clouds and was so pretty I had to stop my errands to watch it.

There were no clouds in the west, so all the color you see is from the setting sun hitting the clouds.

Right now, when our horizons are quite cloudy, pausing to enjoy gifts like rainbows and sunsets can make all the difference.

And in the End…

…the love you take is equal to the love you make (Lennon/McCartney)

I re-learned this from a horse today, dear Mabel. Coincidentally, the blogging prompt today was about animals:

Which animal would you compare yourself to and why?

I have had an affinity with horses since I was a toddler, as I’ve frequently mentioned here. Even before I met my first horse, they made an impression in books and on television (I was a child when Westerns were popular, so you got to see lots of beautiful horses, and I read every horse book in the school library).

Horses always seemed to have good lives, mostly eating, hanging around with friends, and sleeping, with some running around to liven things up. That would work for me. Plus, as prey animals they look out for each other, but low rank horses get picked on by insecure bullies (a drama I often witness). That reminds me of how I ended up being very protective of friends and team members after dealing with a lot of bullying.

No wonder I like horses. They even have delicate digestive systems like me.

Mabel certainly has her issues. She’s choked twice.

As I’ve learned more about horses and how they interact with humans, it’s become so clear that your intention, your mood, and your demeanor affect them. It’s made a huge difference with me and Apache, and I’ve seen it break down with Drew due to his issues — no amount of good intentions has broken through his pain.

I’m just not able to help him like he needs to be helped. Makes me sad.

Healing can take time, and a horse in pain has trouble trusting people. That’s how Mabel was at first. Gradually, with good nutrition and care, she’s become healthy. And her attitude has shifted as well. I didn’t realize quite how much until the last couple of weeks, when she’s become downright friendly. All the love I’ve tried to pour into her may have helped, too.

This friendly expression makes me so happy.

This afternoon, after feeding everyone, I spent time removing winter hair and any new burs from each horse who’d let me. The last horse I groomed was Mabel, who isn’t as fuzzy as Dusty or Apache, but needs de-winterizing. I noticed how nicely she stood still and let me spend time on her, even lowering her giant head and asking to have it rubbed (I didn’t touch her head for at least two years).

I finished up, opened the gate to her pen, and set the grooming bucket down to keep the gate from hitting her when she left. But she didn’t leave. With her ears forward and eyes bright, she lowered her head so I could massage her neck. I ended up just holding this animal who’s as tall as me at her shoulders in my arms with her leaning her neck on my shoulder and her head cradling me. Other horses walked by us, but she didn’t move.

I remained with her. We watched a rabbit flee from a Harrier, then watched the bird hunt all over our field, still calmly sharing love (or safety or whatever a horse would call it) with each other. It was the most peaceful time I’ve ever had with Mabel. Since I’d already exchanged hugs, love, and peace with Dusty and Apache, I was all full of endorphins.

It’s not always this way, but lately these animals have repaid me for my efforts with so much. It’s the way relationships should be, giving and taking love as needed. It helps to identify with the animals, perhaps.

A Little Success Lifts the Faltering Spirit

The past few months have been pretty heavy. There hasn’t been much to counterbalance the sad, scary, and stressful. I miss Goldie, I’m disappointed that Drew and I aren’t meshing well, I miss the routine of a job (after ONE day of “retirement”), and I worry that more bad things will happen to people I love. As I read today, we’re in the middle of “the troubles” we’ve been warned about for so long.

With that background, you can imagine I would be in the market for some potentially positive counterbalance! Sure, hanging out in nature helps. But I was pretty sure by this afternoon that I could use more.

Spotted Horse to the Rescue!

It had been a while since I’d had an Apache horsemanship lesson, thanks to Tarrin’s glamorous famous horse trainer adventures and my endless nature exploration. Today there was a lesson scheduled, which was good news.

Maybe good news for you, Suna. It means I have to work.

One of the many disappointments last week was that I had to cancel going to a friend’s arena to participate in the first horse show of the year, a “virtual show,” where you can be anywhere and just film yourself doing the show tests. The weather yesterday did NOT cooperate.

That meant more time for Apache to bury his head in burs and make his forelock look silly.

I figured that part of my show was not in the cards. But I heard that Tarrin had the show obstacles set up at her house, and asked if I could do the two parts of the show during my lesson. She said yes, so I groomed the heck out of Apache (who had decided it was a fun idea to roll his white body on fresh green grass) and packed up a shirt with a collar and a belt. Off we went to see how we could do in a more laid-back setting.

Heading off to the arena. He’s loaded down with equipment.

Lee came along, too, with the fancy camera. He was also drafted into filming. What a trooper.

This is my favorite of his pictures. I’m talking to Apache while holding an awkward object and he is giving side eye.

Imagine my surprise when Tarrin said we’d do all three parts of the show this afternoon. She had the dressage arena set up, too. Unfortunately, I’d barely studied the dressage test, thinking I wasn’t doing it. Oops.

Lee was filming during dressage, so enjoy this photo of one of the horses in training.

But guess what? It all went just fine. Even I could tell that Apache and I have both improved, though he was trotting like the RV going down a dirt road: bouncy. We did okay on dressage!

On the next part, I was very pleased with his stops and starts and his patience at the four obstacles involving picking up objects.

I was pleased with myself for managing to ride over a bridge, step him over a tractor tire, and do a slalom all while holding an awkward object. He even backed up appropriately and side passed over a poke! Major improvement there .

Sure, our gate opening leaves a lot to be desired, and he stopped during transitions on the barrel maneuver, but we can work on that! I was so proud of us.

Will we get a ribbon? I am not even worried about that. I’m just so pleased that we are improving that I don’t need to compare myself to anyone who’s on a different part of their journey with their horse. See, I learned another life lesson, one that makes shows much more fun.

Having a bit of hard-earned success with my horse is just what I needed to buoy my spirits. I’m feeling more hopeful that I’ll find ways to get by, keep up with horse lessons, and have positive counterbalances to the near-overwhelming doom and gloom.

What’s Important Is Learning the Lesson

This morning I saw that someone I know was rereading a book that meant a lot to them. Curious, I looked the book up, and immediately thought from the description that it was about a concept Lee always stresses to me from his reading of Stoicism and that I got hammered into me during my Brené Brown phase. It’s a good thing to learn, and I’m sure I have talked about it in my blogging, too. It’s a variation on the idea that we should focus on what we can control and not let what’s outside our control get to us.

The beautiful sunset colors were in the east tonight. Out of my control.

I was happy to know that someone I care about is working on similar lessons to what I focus on, and was about to move on when I started looking at what people said about the book and its author. There were criticisms of the author’s tone, credentials, and perceived lack of substance in their writing. People also got rather ticked off that the ideas in their writing book weren’t new, and might even boil down to common sense or emotional maturity. My goodness!

I was reminded of another lesson I’ve learned, which is that insecure people like to tear others down to build themselves up. Why put this author down? Jealousy that they’re making money off of it? That they are better marketers and social media strategists? That’s not a great way to expend your valuable energy.

Penney would like you to stop and notice your surroundings.

As I’ve always tried to remember, we’re all on our own spiritual, emotional, and intellectual paths. Maybe we weren’t ready to learn the idea from the Stoics. Maybe we didn’t like Brené Brown’s writing style. Maybe, however, when this book was being promoted was the right time for the person I know, they liked the author’s style and background, and they soaked in some knowledge to make life more enjoyable. That’s a win.

Learning our lessons in life is what counts, not whether the source isn’t the same as someone else’s. Ideas are tweaked and refined constantly, and often many folks have similar ideas. I e heard that there’s nothing new under the sun. I know I’ve shared some “brilliant” thoughts that weren’t news to many readers. If they helped me or another reader have a better life, though, it was worth mentioning!

My attempt at photography of purple henbit flowers failed. So I learned from it!

Whew. Time to dismount from that high horse. Just keep learning, friends, and take the ideas that resonate with you to heart and leave the other ideas aside for someone else. It’s fine.

In personal news, I got a brilliant idea to allow people to have paid subscriptions to my Substack writing. I even got a paid follower! Make that two! Anything I get will help in my unexpected low income phase. Knowing me I’ll use it to support other writers.

Lots of the content there is similar to here, though the Substack will have less daily life chitchat and more additional content. Feel free to follow me there or not. I like you blog subscribers right here on WordPress (fans according to Barbara) and won’t be putting ads back on here. They were extra yucky.

Creatures of Habit, Bovine Edition

Now that my exciting software training/tech writing career has ended, I find myself bereft of a mission. I always have a project I’m working on to support users, but I’m out of those. I’m a creature of habit, so I feel compelled to find a project. But is it really a good idea to keep the projects coming?

Believe it or not, watching the cattle in the wooded area next to our house gave me an aha moment. Here’s what happened.

Lee and I went to Lowe’s to get some simple vegetables to put in his raised bed. We also bought two flowering trees, a peach and a pear (nope, not native, but, hey, they are Lee’s trees). When we got home, he drove the Gladiator over to the planting area and proceeded to plant.

Finished planting. Mostly herbs and peppers v

At one point, he booped his keys on the tailgate and that made the horn beep. If you’re rural, you’ll know what’s coming. A truck, something that looks like a feed trough, and a honking horn evokes the food urge in those neighboring creatures of habit, the cattle.

At first just a few adorable calves appeared. One in particular really enjoyed playing with Carlton and Penney. We were charmed.

I went off to feed the equine creatures of habit, who nicely line up in their pens for dinner and tolerate my insistence on grooming them in the late afternoon. Everyone, even Fiona, is now looking good, except around poor Droodles’s head. But I’m getting there!

By the time I came back, all the cattle were crowded against our fence, waiting for us to feed them. Carlton and Alfred valiantly worked to protect us, which really peeved a couple of huge mama cows and the bull. There was quite a cacophony.

The poor dogs got so tired that each of the white dogs went in the swimming pool to cool off.

It took sooo long for the cattle to move back into the pasture, probably because the real food truck appeared.

We will just wait until night if we have to. Moo.

It dawned on me that doing the same thing every time a circumstance looks familiar can lead to disappointment. The cattle didn’t notice that the Gladiator doesn’t usually feed them, or that the “trough” was full of plants. Poor dears.

We aren’t known for our massive intellects.

I need to realize that I don’t need to go find a significant writing project immediately. I’m starting something new, not the usual transition from resting training material in one application or another. I can do something different. There is time to figure out what the next new and fascinating thing will be.

In the meantime, I’m working on collecting some writing and putting it on my Substack, which you can go follow. Eventually, as soon as I let my thoughts come together in new ways, there will be more on Substack than new and recycled blog content about animals and birds.

Who knows? Once I break my habit I could turn interesting!

Why Not End on a Professional Note?

Everything’s going okay on the career wind-down front as well as here at the Hermits’ Rest. However, I experienced something curious today in my final meeting with my coworkers. They expressed surprise that I’d finished a project I’d been working on, and that I was interested in fixing the SharePoint site up and tying up loose ends. I said, “There’s no harm in finishing things up with some professionalism, is there?”

cattle — No bull, I meant it. (That IS a bull on the right)

The project lead said she wished she saw more of that in the people that aren’t leaving, and we all laughed. Honestly, it isn’t their fault the expense cuts had to be made, and I know they are not going to have fun integrating what I was doing with the huge project they are trying to work on. Why not be helpful and help them until I can’t help anymore?

woman holding a feather — Sometimes I do wish I had the option to just fly away. (The feather was replaced where I found it; I know the rules about messing around with migratory bird feathers.)

Later I was thinking back on a couple of other jobs that ended before I was ready for them to end. I especially remember my time at the nonprofit organization, when I was trying to hold my team together while a huge rift was occurring among members. Then, in April, I was informed that my job was being eliminated as of June 1. Two months was a long time to be a lame duck employee, but we were doing a lot of online activities to support mothers and babies, and we needed to keep it coordinated. I could have just stopped, walked away, and told the organization to go screw themselves.

But, nope, I organized volunteers, worked on a transition, and tried to keep people’s spirits up. It was all for naught, but I felt a responsibility to try. And I got life-long friends out of the deal!

The job I had before this one was similar. I could see that things were changing and that I’d take the brunt of it, so I focused my last six months on getting my team supported and not having to do work they weren’t suited for. Once that was done, I was more than happy to go. I guess I just want to finish things up and support team members, even when there’s no one to support me in my work. What does that say about me? I’m a sap? I care about my coworkers? I’m professional?

I don’t know. I think what it really means is that I value people over large corporations and bickering nonprofits. That may be a positive or negative; it just is, I guess!

(PS: someday I’ll tell you about the time I DID just walk out on a job.)

In other news, I’ve been enjoying the new weather station Lee got me for my birthday. It’s much nicer than the previous one and can store data. I’ll still need to get my official rain amounts from the CoCoRaHS gauge, though. That’s the only one that counts in weather official-dom.

Lee also bought a steel raised bed that he wants to grow “things” in. It’s not going to exactly feed us for the next year, but it will give me a project to watch over during my non-working time…as if I need more projects around here.

Onward and upward until there’s a need to be professional again.

Job Woes of the Past

How has a failure, or apparent failure, set you up for later success?

First, even though my job is ending earlier than expected this Friday, I’m not overly upset, panicked, or blaming myself. Why’s that? It’s because of what appeared to be a horrible failure at the time, and certainly the nadir of my working years (that’s saying a lot, since I had a couple of workplaces implode under me). I think maybe some of you readers might learn something from this experience, and since I’m retiring, I can share how I screwed up. (If I’ve already told this story, well, here it is again.)

Back when Lee and I were first together, we went through a spell of job challenges. A great long-term contract at 3M fell through because their business was talking, and all I could get were short-term gigs after that. Meanwhile, Lee also lost his job at Dell. I had two children in school, one heading to college, so it was all a bit scary.

I hit a spell where nothing was coming up, so I took the first job where they would hire me. The salary was very low, and the people I interviewed with seemed more interested in getting a body in a seat than my qualifications. But it was at the University of Texas, so I had dreams of security and a pension dancing in my head.

I ended up in a miniature cubicle in the UT Tower (where famous murders occurred) working with an accounting software package that was still housed in its original mainframe and had an ASCII UI. Two of the people I interviewed with had already left by the time I started, and from the first day on, three of the women in the group disliked me. I did my best to learn the system so I could provide help to callers, but even when I did know an answer, they told me I didn’t answer questions right. I needed to stop empathizing with users and stop assuring them their questions were legit, because this accounting software was GREAT and should only be praised for its greatness. It got more and more stressful every day, and to top it all off, I rode a bus at the crack of dawn and at rush hour going home, because I couldn’t get parking. I barely saw my family.

My office was behind one of those windows. Photo by Brixiv on Pexels.com

I kept trying, though, took extra education, got help from and assisted the one or two nice folks, then lost the only really nice coworker, who left for a better department. That should have been my hint to flee.

I remember it sounded like snakes hissing as the Mean Girls complained about me and tapped away carping about me in chats. The boss was even worse. She was some Dean of something and told me I was a big disappointment and offended my coworkers by mentioning I’d been a stay-at-home mother, but I promised to do my best to meet the decrepit accounting software support needs. It was like hell in a tiny tower. I started shaking all day. I couldn’t have done a good job if I tried.

Finally the time came for my 90-day review. The Dean just ripped me a new one, informing me how unqualified I was, how bad I was at user support, and such (they could not complain about my writing!). Here’s the worst part. Did I get up and walk out of there? No. I begged and pleaded with this awful woman, saying I needed to work or my children would lose their home. I honestly thought that is what was going to happen…I was going to fail to pay the mortgage and we’d be evicted.

It was a long bus ride home. Photo by David Geib on Pexels.com

Of course that didn’t happen. But I was so disheartened and down on myself that applying for other jobs was hell. Why would anyone want to hire such a poor worker? I went on unemployment, which at least fed us, and then, sure enough, opportunities arose. I did a bad job teaching Excel for a while (I did fine with Word–I’m not a numbers person), then started on the upswing when I got a GOOD contract for REAL money with people who became lifelong friends. But it was a SLOG getting my confidence back.

That experience taught me that no job is worth debasing yourself for. Yes, we need to work to pay bills and all that, but jobs exist. The next time someone started treating me like a pariah and making work torture, I left. Now? I’m not going to work unless it’s something I enjoy doing with people who are reasonable business folks. Mean Girls/Boys and power-hungry backstabbers won’t get a chance ever again.

I’ll write more about this tomorrow, but I’ve been touched by many kind birthday wishes. It reminds me I’m loved and cared for.