patience – The Hermits' Rest

Fun with Animal Personalities

Horses are so educational. Today I spent much of my day with mine, and I greatly enjoyed working with their moods and personalities. Our canine and equine companions each are unique, and reminding ourselves of that helps humans like me feel like a part of something larger than just our contentious society.

So, how did today go? I resolved to get all the horses groomed (and bur free) and put Apache’s boots on to help his feet while the green grass is here. I started by trying to get Apache, only oops, the gate blew open and the other horses got out. Apache just gave me his annoyed look and walked off. I got Drew and Mabel in with food, and Dusty let me halter him. So I doctored his sore tail and made him pretty. He’d rather hang out with humans than escape.

Since Mabel was in a pen, I haltered her and worked on her coat and burs. She enjoys being rubbed, and kept touching my hand as I brushed her. She was great as I got a few burs out of her tail, but let me know she wasn’t fond of the work I had to do to get the knotted mess from the last rainstorm out of her mane.

You see, my very tall very dark gal loves to get herself even darker by rolling in mud. I think she’s of the opinion that a mud crust is a fashion accessory. Her favorite accessory, though, are mud balls in her mane. They harden into pottery balls, and are matched by mud-covered burrs. It’s quite a sight. And not easy to remove.

No photo, so here is a not-very-artistic rendering of her mane.

I’m glad a bought a gel detangler, because I can rub it in, which is less disturbing to her delicate Thoroughbred nature while I remove burs. I got everything out but the big clay ball and three burs (see excellent illustration) and then I was stuck. The mane had festively rolled round and round the muddy objects. I tried wetting the clay, banding on it, and squishing it. Nope. It was permanent. So I cut it out. Mabel only lost length on a few mane hairs, even though I also had to remove a big matt. I figure she doesn’t have much of a mane anyway, and no one looks at her but me and occasionally Tarrin.

On that note I went to lunch. I needed a break.

I flew away, like these Cedar Waxwings in our tree.

When I got back from exhilarating lunch discussion (and two yummy tacos), it was time to hunt down Drew and Apache. I fed everyone, and got them all lined up except Apache. His snit from yesterday continued and all I could do was get him to take his medicine in the pasture. He was an angry horse man, I guess.

However, I did manage to halter Drew over his crown of burs, and settled him in front of a hay bag. Kathleen had agreed to help me out as I tried to get the burs I’d been working on for weeks off him.

He looks deformed, but it looked kind of like this.

Previously, Droodles would last about ten minutes before the head tossing, snapping, and kicking indicated he was done, so I never got to his forehead. However, the two-human approach worked way better. Kathleen crooned at him and did facial massage on him while I removed burs. He was quite calm and, dare I say, relaxed. All in all it went quickly, with no head tossing or stomping (other than at flies).

I wish I had a helper more often. I might have done better with Drew. But I’m sure grateful for help from someone who’s studying anatomy and knows where to massage. Maybe he’s feeling a little better now.

Of course he smeared food all over himself for photos.

We took a nice walk together and ended this success on a high note.

So, three out of four horses were accounted for. Kathleen and I went and sat by the pool a while and relaxed. Meanwhile, I saw Apache go into the pens, probably for water and a nap. I seized the moment and headed back over.

My favorite picture from last week. Worth a repeat. All burs are hidden in Drew and Mabel.

The good news is that his snit from yesterday seemed over. He stood still to be haltered and went out with no issues. He was patient as I cleaned his feet and stood like a gentleman while I struggled to put his boots on. They are challenging. No photos because I was too busy grunting.

Then, he walked over to the exercise area and did a lively walk, trot, and canter sequence on the longe line. I didn’t even have a stick to encourage him. That means he feels good AND I was only a day late with his boots.

It was nice to see the normal Apache back. We just have to figure out that gate obstacle!

Maybe. I figure if I keep acting up I won’t have to canter under saddle again.

Whew. Each horse had its own moods and preferences today. With a little help, I accomplished my missions and didn’t get stressed.

PS: Kathleen and I both removed burs from Fiona. She still has some, though.

No Surprises, Still a Bit Sad

Today Dr. Amy came by with Goldie and Harvey’s test results from her last visit. As we expected, Harvey still has liver cancer. He’s doing okay on his medicine.

I’ve lost weight but I’m still eating and barking.

We were saddened to learn that, as we suspected, the bumps on Goldie’s shoulder are more osteosarcoma. But it’s not all bad. The first thing Amy said after telling us the news was, “Look how happy she is.” Goldie was bounding around, thrilled to have a visit with her medical team and get those stitches out.

Yeah. She’s still happy, bouncy, and barky. She gets to live as long as she feels okay. We know what signs to look for. Until then, our dear girl gets to be loved on and treasured.

In other and happier news, Apache and I did well again today. I got him cantering around and Sara took a video. We look competent.

Even when Apache gets annoyed, we still work together. That’s what’s so rewarding. We are learning hard new stuff, and even though it’s a challenge, we’re in it together. I can’t believe he can canter under saddle, too! In the rain!

He did it. Not thrilled.

I also had a good conversation with Sara, since we did our lessons together. I appreciate her loyalty and understanding. I’m not easy to be friends with, and past me was worse! Growing and learning, we are!

It was a very long day, mentally and physically and spiritually. I think the hard things make the beautiful things more treasured.

Apache remembers his old stance when he’s irritated. So do I. I tense my neck just like that.

Droodles and I Have Skills

What skills or lessons have you learned recently?

Ooh! Ooh! I know the answer to this one, and it involves a certain bur-headed gray gelding in my life, Andrew “Droodles” Kendall. I’ve alluded to having anxiety and concerns that have been weighing me down recently. One was Drew.

Since getting kicked in the head by Fiona the mini-donkey followed by unexplained pain on his right side, this horse has been a challenge. To be honest, I haven’t been up for the challenge, for a couple of reasons. One is that, even if he were my only horse, my schedule won’t let me work him consistently almost every day, which helps him hurt less. The other is that his aggressive behavior made me wary of him and want to work with him less, not more, even with all I’ve learned about horses and how pain affects them.

I need special stuff. Mabel says she does, too.

I’d discussed options with my trainer (Tarrin) and neighbor (Sara), who are wise and honest.

I could find him a new home with a more assertive rider with more available saddle time. I’d just hope to get the money back for his saddle, not all his training.
I could stop working with him and let him be a pasture friend like Mabel and Dusty. I’d cut down on all those supplements and medication though!
Or I’d hope to get him to a point where I’d enjoy working with him and he’d enjoy learning. I’d hope to ride, it maybe groundwork or liberty could happen.

In the meantime, I’ve let him rest and have been observing him. In the past couple of weeks, he has been friendly and let me pet him without biting at me. He’s let me remove his tail burs and some mane burs. This made me a little optimistic when our next scheduled lesson came up today.

Both Drew and Apache were filthy from rolling in mud, both covered in burs, etc. I realized that I’ve finally learned to just do what I can to get ready in the amount of time I have. Yay. A lesson learned. I got them brushed and removed all Apache’s latest burs (not too many) and Droodles’s tail burs. I only got half his mane. But he was great about it. Just let me pick them out and chat with him, just like Apache does! I was pleased.

When we got to the lessons, I realized I’d left Drew’s girth in the tack room. So I couldn’t try to ride, with nothing to hold the saddle on. Maybe that was good, because we had a wonderful ground lesson. He did not act like he hurt anywhere, and was calm and willing to do whatever we asked, with no tail swishing or foot stamping. I realized he was coming to me to be petted when he’d stop an exercise. Nice!

Then we worked on a new skill. Tarrin started it but I finished. It involved walking while straddling a wooden pole. I’d watched Sara and Aragorn work on this one. It is a bit challenging.

I’m encouraging him to put the left rear hoof on the correct side of the pole.

Drew was very calm throughout the training, and seemed intent on learning to keep the feet on the correct side. Besides that, he was friendly and sweet. He nuzzled us nicely and even licked Tarrin.

He seemed as pleased as we were when he made it all the way to the end of the pole. It was like working with him just before he got hurt. Wow.

We were all so pleased! Tarrin posited that he might have had a virus in addition to hurting his right ride and neck. There’s no way to know, since horses can’t talk. But it looks like Drew and I have things we can do together! We will try riding next.

Oh yes, Apache had a lesson, too. Having them more frequently has helped him get back in shape, and he’s been a champ about working with me at home, eating at least some of his food, and slurping his powdered medicine mixed with applesauce.

In lessons, he’s been gaining new skills with speeds of walk and trot, and with moving off my leg. Maybe cantering will happen next year. We say that every year.

But he makes us laugh by having to pee after a lot of trotting and getting all lathered up in sweat on unseasonably warm winter days. I’m so glad he’s healthy and his feet are doing so well (thanks to Tarrin’s gradual trims).

So, I’ve learned that I need to give my animals time to heal and learn, Apache with his feet, and Drew with whatever was causing his irritability. I want them both healthy and content. I’ll just keep trying and extend my patience.

It took a lot of patience to get this image of a titmouse snacking on an old wasp nest.

The best news is that sadness about feeling I’d failed Drew is no longer weighing on me. I have hope in at least this part of life!

Day by Day

It’s my plan to take things day by day for the next month or so, while Goldie heals and annoying political ads get more absurd. Today was different from yesterday, as days tend to be. I did my best to embrace the changes and challenges. It seemed to be the best option.

I’m glad I didn’t have the overwhelming anxiety of yesterday. I felt more centered, or so I thought until it became clear that my mode today was jitters. I managed to drop things, burn myself, allow myself to be bitten by Apache (my fault, not his), trip on random weeds, and even dribble my coffee.

I’d like to fly away, but that’s not the mature choice.

I was also more impatient than usual. Things I usually let go of easily, like being corrected or contradicted repeatedly, were bugging me. I can’t live my life at home if I start noticing and reacting to other people’s quirks that aren’t going to change. If I expect for my quirks to be accepted, I need to return the favor, right?

Quirks like toting this giant thing everywhere I go.

If I were to wager, which I don’t do, I’d bet that most people in partnerships occasionally want to get a break from certain habits or situations in their home, whether it’s leaving the toilet seat up or not putting tools back where they belong (partially made-up examples). That’s why I think my little trips are good for me. It gives the family a break.

Another of my quirks. Doing my nails in weird ways. Oh, and saying I’m sorry all the time. I’ll end the list here.

Anyway, I assume I’ll be better tomorrow and head towards a more pleasant attitude. I did make a nice dinner, so I wasn’t totally grumped out.

Sure, we’re both pleasingly plump, but you could have shared that food! Oh, shrimp? Never mind.

As for Goldie, the reason for my jitters, she is okay, though she seems to be in more discomfort. That huge incision has to hurt as it heals. It looks good, though, not infected or leaking.

Not gonna display the incision. It’s a foot long, at least.

She changed her shirt (the other one was cut off her, so no repeat shirts). I found a white one for her to wear to keep the incision area clean and keep other dogs from licking it. None of them have tried, though.

She’s eating well and doing her doggie business successfully. We humans spend lots of time with her, which I hope helps. The other dogs are respectful, thankfully.

Carlton is just glad he gets to sleep upstairs with us.

My hope is that day by day she and I both feel better. Every day I’ll feel more confident in her healing, too.

I Deserve a Medal

Whew. Today I exhibited more patience than I knew I had, and finally triumphed over the maze of confusion known as AT&T/Direct TV customer support. I win.

My actual reward is a glass of lemonade. I deserve it, too.

Refreshing, though everything makes me choke since I was sick.

You see, last week our DirectTV stopped working. I called to get repairs scheduled, because Lee is easily annoyed with service providers. I believed I had it scheduled for today.

I was as relaxed as Penney in her cool, freshly dug hole, guarded by the Giant Shedding Machine.

In the meantime, we joined the modern world, and hooked the Apple TV up so we could watch television on it. Well, except that DirectTV and Disney are quarreling again, so we had to watch ABC on the antenna.

Aaron Rogers, shown in antenna TV, expresses my frustration.

Over the weekend we used streaming, which we’d been avoiding due to our rural bandwidth issues. It feels so modern to watch football on Peacock and Tulsa King on Paramount +. Kathleen will be very proud of us.

Then came today. No repair person showed. So, I dialed the number someone had left in a text. It was a magic number. It let me actually get help and service. In a mere 2.5 hours I got all my telecommunications needs met. It was a LONG 2.5 hours.

First I talked to a nice woman who determined that no repair person came because there is ONE technician in our area (Waco) and they got injured last week. Apparently they tried calling me but it came up as Spam Risk so I didn’t answer, and they didn’t leave messages. Grr. DirectTV is looking for a substitute, but as of now, I have no prospect of getting the dish realigned.

What a load of bull. Wait, that’s a cow.

Next, I talked to a billing guy. He was hard to understand, but tried to figure out my bill and my two different accounts. What he accomplished was to get money taken off our bill since we have no satellite. He was also able to tell me what phone numbers were associated with our account. Holy cow, there were eight. Four phones, a hotspot, two watches, and a “device” of some kind. That was unsatisfactory. I now understood why Lee said the phone bill was so high. That had to change. But billing guy couldn’t do that.

Beautiful Mabel approves. She grew a mane!

That fellow successfully transferred me to a very nice young woman who works for the mobility department, which is extra separate from the television department, the billing department, and the internet department. This woman and I spent at least an hour straightening things out. The bill is now halved, with fewer gigs on the RV hotspot, only phones for me and my children (yes, even the uncommunicative one), and no watches. We determined they don’t need to have their own numbers. I’d been trying to get these things cancelled for months, but the “helpful” app wouldn’t let me get to my phone info.

Modern life is hard.

But I’m stubborn and persistent as a Fiona.

I did enjoy talking to the agent about camping, Native American history, and the weird weather lately. That’s what happens when you’re kind to the people on the phone. She worked hard to fix my account, too.

However, she could not help with my final issue, which was to get the wifi setup cancelled on the Red House, since we aren’t renting it out anymore. That was a different department. So she transferred me and because the system only wanted to give me a call back on my landline from when I lived in Round Rock, I had to wait on hold.

Waiting, like all these Scissortails are.

That’s okay, I spent 15 minutes weeding nut grass in the pool flower bed. This made the next customer support lady laugh when I told her I had to crawl out of the flower bed to find my account number. But by gosh, she was able to cancel that account! All I have to do is return the equipment. Ugh.

Still, I did it! I finally got the right people to help me, didn’t get disconnected, and didn’t lose my cool. This is a true sign of modern competency.

When Things Take a Turn for the Better

How do you unwind after a demanding day?

…you answer a blog prompt? Ha, no. I just thought the question was so easy! I wind down by blogging and knitting. Writing and handcrafts both involve repetitive motion and take your mind off other things.

I’m happy to report that today only started out demanding, however. I dragged all my computers out to the Red House (our vacation rental) because it now has wifi. I was able to actually get a lot done, though, plus I was able to finish the laundry and sweep the porch.

However, I still hadn’t heard from AT&T about replacing my router. So I called the special line for my equipment. I talked to some woman who tried to sell me equipment insurance and somehow I got rid of her and was able to talk to a reasonable person. The news was bad. They no longer make my equipment.

I was ready to throw a brick through the phone.

Folks, I was truly annoyed. I was extra frustrated. I have wasted a week trying to get something replaced that couldn’t be. Why didn’t someone say that last week? Grr.

I was so patient. I just took a deep breath and ordered a wifi hotspot to use until we figure something else out. I think we will do another service. Stay tuned.

The day got way better after I finally made a plan and could get off the dang phone with the AT&T people. I ran home to get the horses ready for a lesson, and somehow got them ready (-ish — Drew still had globs of mud in his mane but I got the majority off his body).

Lo and behold, Apache wasn’t sick and Drew was in great form! All of us had a really good time. Apache is learning to speed up and slow down correctly and stay straight. I’m so proud of him and so glad he is no longer all inflamed. I succeeded in helping him!

Drew was a relief to ride. He has gotten over whatever was up at the last couple of lessons. Tarrin wonders if maybe he wasn’t feeling well when he was acting so funny. Today was fun. I felt like we were working together.

Here I come! Note my lips. That’s me concentrating.

It was beautiful watching Tarrin ride him after I was done. He cantered so well and easily. I love watching him move. He looks fancy!

Patience Pays Off (Horse-wise)

It’s been a long day, but Lee and I managed to do all the things needed to get us, the motor home, the horse trailer, and Apache to the swanky wilderness of Washington County, Texas, to try Apache at a horse show. Teamwork!

But first, I want to thank everyone for being kind to me after yesterday’s blog about my son. I appreciate it.

My other son made this excellent shiplap wall.

Today I’m talking about patience and how it pays off with horses (and other things). I’m happy to say that patiently working with Apache has gotten us to where we can try a show. I don’t even mind if he falls apart again, because I know he CAN do nearly all the required things and even enjoys them. And he did fine riding over here, too.

My biggest reward for patience came yesterday. I decided that I had time to groom all the horses after I got them in their pens. I figured I’d just try to put a brush on Mabel and call it good. That would be progress, letting me do that when she wasn’t tied up.

I talked to her and started brushing her (not the tough curry comb, but the grooming brush). I tried her neck. Good. Shoulders. Fine. Stomach, she leaned in! And haunches were no problem. I even did her legs. I saw no signs of distress or discomfort!

It was very satisfying to get the stuff out of her mane, too. I was very tired of looking at mud balls in there, plus all the hay. And ah, now that she has a tail, it’s lovely to brush. No tangles or anything, almost like human hair.

Well, this is unflattering and the tail doesn’t even show up. Poor horse.

I was so pleased at how the session went, especially because she continued to stay with me and ask for more petting and rubbing when I was done. She let me rub between her ears! Next we will go on walks.

Here she’s alerting me to a huge piece of farm equipment.

This is all so good. It makes up for the fact that I’m wheezing again, probably from breathing in so much hair, dirt, and hay dust. It’s okay, though. The doctor said I’m healthy except I need Vitamin D. Not bad for an old broad.

Enjoy some phlox and bluebonnets on the roadside today. This is such a great time of year in Texas.

Roller Coaster of Love

I didn’t take pictures of the wonders of today, so check out my very silver nails. They nearly blind me.

I was wondering if the highlight of my day was going to be learning about a new kind of moth, the plume moth. These look like flies, but nope, they are weird looking tiny moths with small, plumed wings. I’m not sure what kind the one that flew into my napkin was, but it was cool.

I like it when new-to-me species just show up and present themselves.

It turns out, though, that I’m on a LOVE HIGH this evening, after feeling like my emotional roller coaster of horse love plummeted. After struggling with teen Droodles yesterday, I wasn’t looking forward to today’s lesson. Plus it was raining.

But, we showed up anyway, and I got lots of good information on how to deal with anxious and boundary-testing youngsters. Tarrin told me I had to be tougher and not let him do stuff just to try to get through stuff. That’s what I did at Sara’s, not wanting to delay her filming. I should have stopped and worked with Drew until he was calm. Next time!

Then we worked with him, and that’s when the roller coaster started heading back up. I got some stuff figured out during ground work, as Tarrin kept reiterating that if he messes up, nothing’s wrong with performing a reset and starting again.

She got on and repeatedly stopped and started as he fussed around. In the end he looked great, and she said he was much better than last week. My work with him had helped!

I wasn’t looking forward to getting on him and struggling to make progress. But I got on! And lo and behold, we calmly walked three barrels in small circles. Then we did bigger circles. Wow!

I kept stopping every time his head went up or he started to go off track. By the end, we were smoothly trotting the circles. Tarrin asked how the last one felt, and I said, “It felt like riding a horse!” I was thrilled.

After improving our hill climbing circles with me on him and doing better on side passing and leg yielding, we very calmly walked back to the trailer, even though one of Tarrin’s horses was in our butt. It felt like riding Apache in a place he feels safe. It was fantastic. What a roller coaster. Patience paid off.

We also made him much happier on the ride home with a longer trailer tie and hay to eat. He pooped less. I’m so grateful that Tarrin helps me problem solve. I want to give Drew and Apache good lives and that helps.

Ready for more ups and downs!

Keeping Hope Going

Let me say that I’m disappointed in myself that an election some years ago got me so messed up that I can’t stand election coverage now. My spouse loves it. So I sat with him for hours last night, watching his favorite news channel. I honestly think that could traumatize anyone, no matter what your ideas about our polarized country are. It’s just nerve-wracking.

I awoke this morning feeling completely drained. I sure would have preferred to wake up, read a neutral summary of the results, have a sad moment, and move on. Instead, though, the first thing I read was this:

Hope cannot be defeated finally because it belongs not to the whims of fate but to the common life pulsing through our veins. Hope cannot be defeated finally by any present evil because hope is our heart’s commitment to the lives yet to be. Hope is not is the naive assurance we will reach our stated goal, only that we will find our noble path.
Jim Rigby

That put me into a better frame of mind. I began to see signs of hope and inspiration all around me. Our ranch reminded me that even though we just went through a bad drought, things are trying to come back. The plants just keep trying. Look at this new green grass! There was nothing there a few weeks ago, just dirt.

I need to shed what is confining me and move on, like my snake friends. I can’t change things, just get a new hopeful attitude.

One true inspiration for me is the asters I’ve been enjoying all autumn. They are blooming away and providing food for so many butterflies, moths, and tiny wasps. That’s even though they’ve been repeatedly mowed. They just started over and over and bloomed even harder.

And I spent a long time today watching the great egret patiently and persistently stalking the little fishies in the pond behind the house. Reaching your goals takes time and patience. And you may miss. A lot. It’s okay.

Jim’s right. Hope is necessary and part of the path that our highest and best selves strive to stay on. I’m still committed to my personal goals and morals. Nothing can stop that. I hope the same for all of you.

Just think how long these little guys waited until it was damp enough to send out their spores.

Life. Challenging. Frustrating.

Drew agrees. He had to learn hard lessons today. Look at him kicking up dust and swishing.

I hope whoever deals with me and my family and their challenges and frustrations will be firm but patient and kind, like Tarrin is with a confused and annoyed horse.

Love to you, readers.