kindness – The Hermits' Rest

Looking for Beauty and Kindness

I declared that today would be spent looking for beauty and kindness wherever I went. That started out early, since we wanted to leave for a camping weekend (at last) as early as possible.

I hit the ground running, trying to get to Tractor Supply right after they opened. Ha. The traffic gods had other plans and I got to wait a lot, which was okay—more time listening to NPR. And I did encounter kindness when the sweet worker who checked me out also loaded all my 50-pound horse and chicken food bags and the deceptively heavy salt. She said she was stronger than most of the men there.

There was much running around, sweating, and chore performance before we could leave, and Lee hurt his back hitching the Jeep to the motorhome. Yet, we survived and drove northeast for a long time, during which Lee was kind to a trucker who needed the lane we were in at a run-down gas station. The guy had a cool big rig—he was taking it to a truck show!

We managed to make it to Lake Bob Sandlin State Park before the office closed, which felt miraculous considering the amount of slow-moving vehicles and construction delays we hit. You know a car is slow if we pass it!

We changed to a more level site, so we lost our lake view, but the piney woods are also lovely, and there are plenty of birds to enjoy.

Helping Lee because his back hurt made me end up sore from crawling in the ground and floor, but that’s what good spouses do for each other!

I found lots more beauty as I walked around the camping area after we were set up. There’s even a lot of beautyberry here, which speeds up one’s search for beauty!

I did find the lake and many woodland plants, so I believe I did what I set out to.

By focusing on good stuff, small annoyances like the bedroom slide and the leveling system not working seem insignificant. I’m just gonna go look at plants and listen to birds tomorrow. Yes.

How Can You Cope in Today’s Troubled Times?

There are some practices and “mind tricks“ I use to stay on a level key while the world of people, politics, and ethics changes to something almost unrecognizable. Note that I am not describing how to remain calm (I no longer know what that means or if anyone is “sane“ anymore). But rather I want to share what I do to keep myself productive, centered, and able to find joy/good/happiness.

I wrote this all out by hand. I needed to write.

Spend as much time outdoors as possible, doing chores, getting exercise, relaxing—it all counts.

You might see spring flowers in September!

Meditate. I count some of my bird observation is this – deep focus on breathing sound, etc. turning off the internal chatter (when I dictated the text, this came out as “cheddar”) that adds to anxiety.

Stay in the moment. Be aware of your surroundings. Pay attention to people and things around you. This lets you see moments of peace and beauty amid broader chaos.

Limit exposure to negativity. Stop listening to provocative sources of information remove controversial people from your life as much as possible – if you must be around someone (coworker, family, or service provider) set boundaries and only interact on neutral topics so you can just walk away physically or mentally.

Assume good intentions. Remind yourself that people who upset you mostly aren’t doing so to bother you —often they think they are doing good —so treat them kindly, assuming they are well intentioned from their perspective, and let them share their thoughts, but let unintentionally hurtful things flow over you —you can be kind and not let the harmful stuff inside you.

Treat people kindly. Doing something nice for no other reason than it’s the right thing to do makes you feel better and invites good to come back to you.

Be grateful. Take the kindness of others in and be grateful for it. Expressed your gratitude, because a lot of people really seem to crave the positive affirmation, and it doesn’t hurt to help them out.

Give yourself permission to relax and retreat. Read a book watch a funny or engaging television show or video. Do this in moderation. Hiding in Facebook or on TikTok can be a problem.

Remind yourself of connections. However you are connected to other people, groups and cultures, treasure your own connections to your groups and enjoy them—just not to the exclusion of others. We are ALL family. (OK I’m preaching here.)

—All X people are evil/my enemy. No, the ideas they are being fed are the issue, not the people. Be angry at the source, which most likely is corporate interests (says Suna and Robert Reich).

—I can’t do anything about X. No, by keeping yourself strong and focused on positive and constructive ideas and practices you are doing something.

—Person X drives me batty. Guess what? You choose your reaction to person X. Change it.

Laugh. Find people places or media that make you laugh or laugh at yourself kindly.

Enjoy animals. Domesticated or wild, they share our earth and are good enough to share their calm or funniness. Horses and dogs help me.

Recognize your limitations. We can’t do everything or fix every problem. Choose your battles and let go of minor issue. Discern what is within your capacity to change and do those things.

Hint: you can’t change other people‘s personalities and entrenched beliefs. You can change your reaction. This is a big lesson.

Love yourself. Remind yourself that you are lovable just as you are. Your mistakes and flaws do not define you or make you less deserving of love. It’s great to be loved and to accept love coming your way, but you aren’t defined by whether or not someone loves you. Everyone else is lovable too, just maybe not by you, sometimes

Your spiritual guides (God, spirit, goddess Buddha) love you just the way you are, too. If yours places conditions on its love consider another alternative.

Don’t hate people. If you want something to abhor there are plenty of other options. I abhor war, gun, violence, intolerance, corporate, greed, dysfunctional government, unethical propaganda, and institutions set up to divide people rather than unite them. I don’t hate people. Something made them the way they are, even egomaniacs and psychopaths. Hatred does not make anything better.

Forgive. Let go of resentment towards bullies mean people, hurtful individuals, etc. Letting resentment fester does not lead to peace. People screw up. Forgive them like you’d like to be when you screw up. You can’t fix some folks, but you can forgive them and move on.

Take care who you trust. Confirmation bias is real. Don’t just trust people who agree with you automatically. Instead, trust people with no vested interest in manipulating you or your emotions or in encouraging divisive thinking. This is hard, I know.

Surround yourself with things that make you happy (spark Joy ha ha ha). This will be different for each of us. I have lots of objects that help me: crystals, figurines of birds and horses, live flowers when possible, a cheerful coffee mug, a journal covered with stickers, colored pins, books art made by me or my family, and so much more. Other people might need minimal distractions to feel happy some need clean surroundings things that smell, good etc. You do you and don’t let others’ opinions of your surroundings bother you. They can do their own stuff. (Now, shared spaces require compromise, of course. There can be no fun scents in a house that contains my spouse.)

Move around. When you’re feeling overwhelmed or sad or afraid you can want to just stay in bed or your chair and curl up. But try to remind yourself that moving around/exercise is one of the best ways to lift your spirits. Even marching around your house or dancing to music helps. I like to take walks so I can observe beauty around me and experience the world with all my senses. Riding my horse is also very helpful, because I need to focus on what I’m doing rather than other issues.

Do some crafts. Making things helps you focus on something you enjoy, and creating items for others is an act of kindness thate brings positivity into your life.

July and August of my temperature blanket project.

Read inspirational or beautiful material. I love my nature books, and my magazines about horses, art, home improvement, and spirituality. Just be sure to find uplifting and interesting content. I have to limit my political and historical reading.

And finally, remember what the scripture below tells us.

Tee hee. I, too, can cherry pick Bible verses that support my point.

So…what other ideas do you have to share with others as we try to get through this time together?

Yep, Everyone Is Interesting

It’s true, and the interesting stranger at the Portland Airport agrees. I had things to write about yesterday and plans to work on a blog on my way home. That didn’t happen, and it’s not a bad thing, because I was talking to interesting people, as I did the whole time I was in suburban Portland.

Look, kids, it’s Mount Hood! I did my sightseeing from the plane.

As many wise folks have pointed out before me, everyone has a story to tell. They also say it’s hard to feel animosity towards people when you can see what you have in common and know what they’ve been through. For example, one of my Uber drivers was forced to flee Peru, but he’s made a good life here. All the Uber drivers I had on my trip were interesting and taught me things, so I’m glad I had the chance to ride so often. I had some really fun times explaining that Texas isn’t all bad. One guy was shocked I managed to live in a small town and not be a Christian Fascist (or whatever they’re called these days).

This mountain had a smoke ring! My friend Alice thinks it’s Mount Jefferson.

The people I talked to at my workplace were also a fun bunch. Portland seems to be crawling with musicians! And many people had horses or once did. It was fun hanging out with young parents and learning how they do things today. Lots of creativity and/or multi-generational households to handle child care.

I had an oddly frank and open conversation about life with a random punk rocker disguised as a businessman in the airport, as I mentioned above. He was a bit scattered, in a good way, and we found we had much in common. That’s what brought me back to everyone being interesting if you talk to them. So I just continued being friendly and talked to a fellow worried about his large dog traveling in the cargo hold, and I made the flight attendant so happy by asking her about her beautiful silver bracelet she was wearing, which happened to be made by a Hawaiian artist. The flight attendant was beaming as she told me how much she loved it.

Sweet stories from random people keep me hoping we can pull our society back together. Humans are not all mean and hateful like the media so often says they are.

Enough of that. I did want to share that I got to see some Oregon plants and hear some birds yesterday by taking a lunch walk. I found an area where there’s a big effort being made to restore native plants, on property the company I consult for seems to own. The plants were surrounded by two things. One was the ever-present wild blackberries. I ate a lot, since there weren’t right on the roadside and covered with automotive residues.

The other thing I saw were rows of gnarled old trees, which look like they’d been cut down to stumps but we’re trying to come back, fighting through ivy and berries. I couldn’t tell what they were, but I figured they were something that was once harvested. When I finally got to upload photos to iNaturalist, it turned out they were hazelnut trees! Before Tualatin got industrialized, it must have grown nuts. Cool.

There was also a small forest remnant next to the offices, with a short path running through it. I enjoyed seeing the ferns, evergreens, and native maples (among others).

After seeing a California Jay, another new one on my list, I felt satisfied that I’d seen at least a little nature. Then my ride to the airport, a really nice man very much like me, took us through downtown to save time, so I got a bonus tour. Yay for avoiding the crowded interstate!

There, I’m caught up, back with my animals and humans, and ready for what’s next. After some sleep!

Let’s Just Be Kind

Write about a random act of kindness you’ve done for someone.

Seems that this here blog prompt wants us to brag on ourselves about some spectacular kind thing we’ve done for someone. I don’t feel like doing that.

I don’t have to follow instructions! Here are basil blossoms.

Instead, I’ll share how I manifest my small and unspectacular acts of kindness. In a nutshell, I just make an effort to see the humanity of people I come across, even when I’m tired, hungry, in a hurry, or distracted. It’s hard to do! Perhaps that’s why I mentally pat myself on the back when I’m kind under pressure.

Treating people who serve you your food or check you out at a store like someone worth knowing and sharing a kind word with is usually pretty easy and always very kind. I’ve had some great conversations that way!

Bonus: Lee bought and repotted this lovely angel-wing begonia for the porch. He also got the screens clean! He did a kindness for me!

Waving at people going down the road, that lets them know you remember a human is in that car. So I do that.

At work I try to check in with folks, to remind me that they’re not just annoying employees and remind them I’m not just the weird Planview lady.

I have a long history of being that weird lady, though.

No need to go on and on. I truly feel that the best kindnesses we can bestow are when we could most easily skip them. I find it takes no more energy to be kind than to be grumpy, though often being kind makes you stop and think about what you’re doing. And voila! you’re being kinder to yourself.

In more mundane news, I started August with dusty violet hair (way more subtle) and purple geode nails. It’s already Lammas, the first harvest celebration. The year is flying by.

I drove to College Station all by myself this afternoon to go to dinner with friends. Great food, fun stories of war, crime, and peace…and even some pleasant live music. Tomorrow I may seek out a park and birds.

Tarot card of the day

The Hanged One, or the Tree in the Gaian Tarot. It’s about keeping your center even when things get topsy turvy. I love the sky in the upside down yoga woman (tree pose)’s outfit.

I have more confidence than usual that I’m handling all the world’s weirdness. Hope it lasts!

Some Stuff’s None of Your Business

Have you ever had surgery? What for?

Really. This sounds like a prompt designed to get information to use against me in some weird internet way. Lee says most of the blog prompts are like that in his opinion, but I find this question really creepy. Also, my answer would be boring.

Great Blue Heron fishing in the creek is not interested in such details, either.

So, instead of my medical history, I’ll share my story from my morning walk (this is a repeat for Facebook friends):

Who says there aren’t good people in Texas? Not me. Today I took my morning walk rather late, so by the time I was on my way back I was pretty sweaty. I noticed a car stopped in the middle of the road near my house and wondered if I knew them. Soon they drove up and stopped next to me. It was an older woman and man who asked if I needed a ride home or a cool drink. I said no, that I was almost home. We chatted briefly and told me they stopped at the top of the hill to finish a phone call, because they lose service by the creek. That’s very true! And then the man handed me a cold Mr. Pibb and insisted I take it. That was so kind.

As I walked home with my cold beverage I wondered why they felt compelled to tell me why they stopped and that the man grew up nearby. But it’s Texas and I guess they wanted me to know they were not up to anything, since the man was Black. Geez. He was friendlier than many white neighbors.

Anyway, I’ll wave when I see them again. I wave to everyone who comes down the road, though most often it’s family members or friends. Rural life!

My cool beverage

Friendly, kind strangers who don’t judge you but just want to make sure you’re okay—we need more of them in the world. I hope I can always be like this couple. If someone needs help, I want to offer it with no regard to appearance or other factors. Good folks are urban, rural, immigrant, religious, atheist, and of all political beliefs. There are icky people in all those groups, too, but today reminded me to never forget the good ones.

The heron left before the car came down the road, so it missed my free drink.

Sorry this wasn’t about surgeries. But a day enjoyed with kind strangers, sweet horses, good friends, more Green Herons than I ever saw at one time, and a lovely sunset is more interesting to me.

This is facing east. Way to go, setting sun!

Now, go be good to someone you may or may not know.

Zoom, There Went Another Year

Years really do zip by the older you get. I like that they’re all a blur now. It makes living in the present easier.

Calendars are human inventions, but years happen regardless of whether people are around or not. Years are “real.” Since this is the time my culture marks the start of another year, then, I’ll go ahead and say that I wish you all the best possible 2025 that our combined positive perspectives can create.

Hey look, Gemini can’t spell. I love these AI things.

I’ll rely a lot on small acts of kindness to keep me going. For example, today I was taking my morning walk when a pickup truck approached from behind me. This happens about every ten minutes here. To my surprise, the truck slowed down and stopped beside me. A young-ish man leaned over and told me he’d just stopped to wish me a good day from him and his daughter. A little girl said, “Have a good day!” from her car seat. How kind! I told them happy new year, and the little girl thanked me and waved hard as they left. Ah. That started my day off well.

The day remained good, too. I remarked to Lee that it was the first day in a couple of months that I felt free of anxiety. I’ll take an occasional day like that!

I was so calm I didn’t scare this Mockingbird.

Just little things cheered me up. I got some work done, then I got my journal ready for next year and tallied my December bird sightings. I felt so organized.

Of course I sat and listened to birds. White-crowned Sparrow.

I even got to go out a little earlier to work with the horses, and ended up having one of the best sessions with Apache that I’ve ever had. The stuff we are learning is sinking in! We both had fun and got exercise.

Neither of us wanted to go back to the pens when we were finished, so Apache got to eat good grass and endure my hugs for a while.

Oh, and Connie and the chickens are doing well. I fed them some fresh chickweed and curly dock, and they even stood near each other. I turned on their heat lamp, since it’s finally cooling off tonight. They will keep each other warm.

This has been a hard blog to write, because it’s New Year’s Eve and the locals are compelled to shoot off fireworks. That means Penney is trying to merge herself with me. Luckily she eventually crawled under the bed, so I didn’t have to fake a sneeze to send her away. I love her anyway.

Thanks for being here.

Winning the Lottery without Playing

What would you do if you won the lottery?

I would not win the lottery unless someone gave me a winning ticket as a gift, in which case I’d probably share with the gift giver. I don’t play games of chance (life is a gamble, so I can’t say I don’t gamble).

But today I feel like I won the life lottery. I enjoyed my day, even with the long drive made longer by having to drive around a bad accident on the Interstate. Then I had to ask for help getting my gas cap cover to open. I must have broken it. But a very nice man helped me (I actually walked into the truck stop and picked a man who was being friendly to the clerk to ask for help). After we got the thing open, he saw the knitting bag in the back of my car. He said I looked crafty and me this flattened coin, saying I could bang on it and make myself a silver ring. There are good folks out there!

I listened to NPR the whole way, and though it wasn’t overt fascinating, I learned a few things about brains and such. Since it was sunny, the drive was just more cheerful. Seeing white pelicans flying for the second week in a row helped!

When I got home I checked on the horses. Lee says Drew was mean to him at the gate, like he was with my son the time he got hurt. I think we will have to work on that.

They do seem to appreciate the hay Lee gave them.

My gosh, in only two days the horses got more than double the amount of burs they had before. When I first saw Apache, he not only had all these burs, but hay was attached to it. This is bad enough!

I got many of these off while he was eating. But I have more, plus all of Drew to do before I can work with them.

After the horses and chickens were fed, I was watching football when my neighbor texted me asking if I’d ever seen one of these.

Texas Star (*Chorioactis geaster*) photo by Vicki King

This is a very rare fungus. Oddly, the Devil’s Cigar or Texas Star is found only in central Texas and Japan. I got very excited when Vicki sent the photo, because I knew exactly what it was. There had been an article about finding it in Inks Lake state park recently.

This is the first or second observation in Milam County on iNaturalist. I’m so glad to have photos with the GPS attached so I could share them and get Vicki’s sighting verified. I wish we could hear it hissing! Since very few people have seen the Texas Star, I really do feel like I won the lottery.

Map of iNaturalist observations. That’s our area, north of Cameron with the pin in it.

I’m going to go see it myself in the morning. I hope it’s not faded. What a find! I should be less tired tomorrow and maybe I can write something better in the Master Naturalist blog.

Red Flags or Intuition?

What personality trait in people raises a red flag with you?

I rolled my eyes when I saw this prompt. I have found that some people just give me an instant negative reaction or at least I get negative “vibes” soon after. I’m right about it more often than not; it’s one of my innate abilities.

Photography is not an innate ability though this seed pod is pretty.

I HAVE been wrong about those vibes a couple of times. There are a couple of good friends who rubbed me the wrong way at first, but grew on me.

Apache wonders if he’s one of those friends. I’m smiling now.

Upon additional thought about red flag traits, I managed to come up with one personality type that makes me want to avoid people. It’s folks who have no topics of conversation other than themselves and lack the social skills to recognize when they ought to give someone else a turn. It seems like every group I’ve been in, from La Leche League groups to spiritual groups to book clubs has one of these.

I try to be patient with such folks. They may be lonely or they may have a disability that affects them. Sadly, I’ve seen more than one group break up or dwindle to just a few patient folks because of this.

I hope to all that is sacred that I’m not one of those people. I try to cut my stories short, but may fail. The thing is, I love to hear about other people’s lives; I just want everyone to get a turn.

Any other traits that are red flags? Probably being intentionally racist, sexist, or homophobic. Cruelty to animals. Stuff like that.

Drew points out that he is an animal and we’re not cruel to him.

I must tell you a trait I like in others, and that’s being kind to others. I appreciated it today when Tarrin’s husband, Teddy, helped Lee deal with a horse trailer gone bad. He found a nail in it but got it filled enough to get home. New tires are in our future.

I also truly appreciate the man in the pickup truck who followed us down Tarrin’s road, even into the parking lot of the new Milano gas station/truck stop. It turned out that when we heard a big clunk after hitting a tree branch (road not meant for RVs), it was our fancy television antenna being ripped off the roof. This kind man saw it, picked up the antenna, and brought it to us. Lee said he couldn’t tell the guy thank you enough.

See, there are many helpful people out there! They raise green flags with me!

Grateful for Little Smiles

I’ve been needing something to smile about lately, and the Universe has provided. First, I’m grateful to have spent a few low-stress days with my household members, with lots of laughs and encouragement. You can’t beat that!

Even Lee’s ice cream bucket was smiling.

Besides that, one of my niggling worries is much lessened now. It looks like I’ll have another year at my job. Such good news! I do like my job and the people I interact with, for which I am also truly grateful.

My portulaca plants are growing, which makes me glad!

I’ve watched friends being kind and supportive of each other all week. In today’s combative climate, small things like opening doors for strangers, giving tokens of affection, and offering to help someone struggling mean a lot. I can’t be specific but it’s helpful to make the effort to notice these things, and to instigate them when you get a chance!

Lee made me this image. That was nice. It’s a scan of part of a poster.

What little things made you smile today? It’s worth the effort to try to recall those moments and appreciate them. Since I take so many photos, I can share a few more with you.

Enlarge to see the cheerful wiggly honey mesquite seed pods

Do I Have a Tagline?

If humans had taglines, what would yours be?

Suna, she means well, honest

Yep. I think that does it. Now that I’ve stopped trying to please people who aren’t going to be pleased, now that I accept and like my flawed self, and now that my goals focus on enjoying watching the seasons pass and spreading kindness, I’m fine with a tagline that acknowledges my attempts often fall short of the mark. What matters to me most is that my intentions are to be a good person who leaves the world in a better place when I’m gone.

The tagline may not sound like much, but it’s been hard to get there. I work every day to be less judgmental, less sarcastic, and more accepting of people who aren’t like me. It’s a good goal.

View from hotel room in Cedar Park, Texas. I miss the limestone and the hills of where I used to live sometimes. Not enough to live in the suburbs again. Ever. Please.

Tonight my goal is to try to get some sleep after part 1 of a root canal and a lot of driving. Since my hotel last night wasn’t up to Hilton standards and work frustrated me like it usually doesn’t, today seemed very long, indeed, even if I did enjoy being back at the Dell office.

I just adore an office view (sung to the Green Acres theme song)

But, hey, I got a GOOD car wash and restocked all animal feed on my way back to Cameron. I did get at least something done!