If you won two free plane tickets, where would you go?
Honestly, I have no idea where I’d go if I won two free plane tickets. I’d probably be pragmatic and use it to fly to Hilton Head in November, first class.
This is what you get when you ask AI to make a picture of plane tickets to Hilton Head. That gave me a laugh.
Also, honestly, today I got so frustrated with my moods, my isolation (sometimes a hermit doesn’t feel so hermit-like and needs someone), and my lack of options that I seriously considered booking a hotel room in Austin and hiding there all weekend watching the Olympics.
But why leave?? It’s beautiful here.
I got over myself and decided not to waste my Hilton Honors points on that. Better to stay where I am and deal with things. And I did. So there. I’m still a little short-tempered, which is how I get when the anxiety attacks attack.
These are not the kind of mushrooms that help with PTSD, but we have a lot of them after all the rain.
And thanks to making good decisions, I got to experience the relief of getting a new ($$$) swimming pool pump. Yes, the original one in our pool has already kicked the bucket. It was making so much noise that it was no fun sitting outside in the nice weather and I couldn’t hear birds very well.
The old pumpWe had to deal with wasps in the control panelUp and running
Lee and I got to sit by the pool and enjoy the silence this evening. That was healing silence. Maybe knowing I am free to flee if I need to makes me happy to just stay where I am.
Bee happy! Finally I got a GOOD bumblebee in a morning glory!
Tomorrow, gotta move some hay I didn’t move quickly enough. Then I’ll need to dry it out before storing it! Horses will enjoy this delicious hay grown right next door!
What strategies do you use to maintain your health and well-being?
I’ll tell you about one health and well-being strategy I use: if my day was too draining to blog about, I’ll put off answering the prompt. So, I started this yesterday and stopped. I realized I was having anxiety issues big time.
I don’t think I realized it as the work day was going on, but when I stopped working, I got those familiar chest pains that usually don’t happen anymore thanks to my daily medication. It’s some kind of PTSD-like response to my day. My boss was laid off and I was the last to know, thanks to Microsoft Teams suddenly insisting on my password that I forgot. That kind of stuff happens in large corporations of course. I’ve been through it with Lee, at the same company.
Noooo, not Lee!
But my “stress memory” didn’t handle it as well as my intellectual brain did. I went right back to when I was at my previous employer and the boss I considered a mentor and friend got laid off (victim of a power struggle). I’d really liked my job there, for the most part, but things immediately went downhill until I realized I, too, was in the middle of a power struggle I could not win.
My nice job became prickly, just like these beautiful flowers will become those giant burs.
The last straw was when they made someone who worked for me my boss, and a week after telling me I was the strongest member of the team, he turned around and gave me one of “those” little chats about what a poor worker I was. I was so confused I kept asking, “What?” The very lucky thing was that I’d been getting all sorts of calls and emails about another position doing the parts of my job I really liked without the management politics. I took it. It’s a great job.
Happy worker, generated by AI – it is not me
And here I am having chest pains again. Now, I know that my position for next year has passed all the approvals needed, and I’ll get to work only 32 hours, which I find great. More time for camping and horses! But, not knowing where our team is going and all that would make anyone a little uncomfortable. I need to just take it day by day and be positive.
I’m a happy worker bee.
Could you tell my emotions to pay attention to my logical side? I guess that’s really my job. And that’s one thing I do to keep my well-being under control. I keep telling myself everything is OK until I believe it. It’s worked for eliminating negative self-talk, so maybe it will work with getting triggered when a bad experience could be construed to be happening again.
I need a new perspective, like this picture of the front pond from the side I usually don’t see.
At least maintaining my health is easier. I now exercise enough because it’s become a habit (hooray for my Apple Watch). I can’t believe it, but I feel bad if I’m not active. Needing to care for the animals sorta forces me to burn some calories, and the horse lessons are good for both my body and my mind. I’m really feeling good about all that!
I comfort her; she comforts me. It all works out. (It thundered again today, so Goldie begged me to go upstairs and hang out with her.)
Oh yes. I’m traveling in the future. It’s what I promised myself to do while I still can.
Here I am, traveling down the county road in the rain. Does that count?
But first I need to enjoy the present. Indeed, I enjoyed today very much. Who doesn’t enjoy a July day in Texas when it rains and doesn’t get above 90°? I admit to sitting on the porch and watching the rain after work. That felt great.
Porch view. Wet.
Other than muddy horses I have no complaints at all. They are pretty happy with the grass not being so straw-like, too.
So green!
And the dogs had fun outside. Carlton decided grass runners I’d pulled up were toys and tossed them around gleefully. Unfortunately Alfred decided the extra-dead armadillo was a toy and rolled in it. Oh that smells bad. The armadillo carcass is now unavailable to dogs.
Enjoy a happy live armadillo who lives nowhere near me. Source: free WordPress photo library
As for travel, we have camping trips, two condo stays, and a cabin rental coming up, in addition to the Master Naturalist conference. I’ll share more information as the trips take place.
And I’ll have to cancel some if we don’t have caretakers for the ranch. That (and security) is why I don’t share travel plans here. Things tend to change with no warning around here with so many folks in fragile health and such!
Harvey would prefer I stayed put.
All is well. I’m just going to enjoy each day as much as I can without counting on any future plans coming to fruition until it’s time to go! That’s being flexible and embracing change, all right. Right?
Hmm. Lately no food comforts me much. But I’d say I usually reach for something cheesy. These days it’s either those little red laughing cow rounds or cottage cheese (preferably full fat, large curd). Full fat yogurt with good fruit, like Noosa, also works. Creaminess seems to be a key. Naturally, creamy ole ice cream also does the trick. I guess I help finance the dairy industry.
Cheese. I like it (also bread—I can eat wheat and dairy just fine, being all European.
My anxiety has ticked down a notch, which I can tell because I’ve allowed myself to plan for the future (other than camping and condos; I do plan that). But today I figured out what I’d like to do with my volunteer time. Well, in addition to endless flower and insect photos.
Passion flowers Variegated fritillary Carpenter beeHalloween pennant dragonfly SunflowersBeetle on upright prairie coneflower Bumblebee on pickerel weedYet another Gulf fritillary.
I visited the new bird observation way station thing that’s been started by our Master Naturalist group today. I’m very impressed by how hard Gene at the Bird and Bee Farm has been working on it. He’s even obtained outside funding that is helping with fencing and future mulching.
New fencing, gate, and cleared trees
My friend Ann is the mastermind behind the project, but she can’t do most of the heavy work. She is the expert on birds, though.
The broken arm doesn’t help, either
I sat on a log out there for a long time and watched a little Downy Woodpecker digging a hole, maybe for a nest. Then I watched dung beetles rolling some poop quite industriously. I realized that this was A Good Place and that I’d like to help.
DiggingIt’s in the holeChecking the hole Rolling that dungMy inspiration
So, I told Ann I’d be the chronicler of the project. I’ll take pictures and record the bird species seen and heard there. I can blog about it on the Master Naturalist blog, too. I’m feeling brave for making a plan.
Logs mark the boundaries. They’ve already run water out here, too!
It will be a great reason to be outdoors in peace and quiet while contributing to something positive. And maybe I can take some cheese out there and have a comforting picnic.
Bonus piece of oddness. There’s a crawfish in our pool. It’s just going around eating stuff.
What’s your favorite game (card, board, video, etc.)? Why?
I admit it. I like word games. My two favorites are Scrabble and Big Boggle. No one will play me because I’m a word professional. I’m NOT the best at either game, honest. I’m above average. I’d probably be better if anyone would play with me.
Free image of fake game board
I don’t like the kind of games people play with interpersonal relationships. That’s why I enjoyed today. I spent much more time than usual talking to friends. It was a nice mix of light-hearted stuff and serious conversation. I’m sure glad I have friends to just hang out with sometimes!
This is me getting ready to go out, with a lurking husband. I was trying to show a friend my coordinating ensemble.
After talking with folks and hashing out some of my angst, I’m feeling a lot more balanced and able to act the way my principles tell me to. That made it worth a Zoom call and driving to Rockdale for fish tacos!
I’m calmer than this poor doe who was so rattled by my presence that she ran off quite flatulently. Here she’s resting between gas attacks.
First. I like both dogs and cats. I’ve had both as pets, though never more than two cats at once.
Vlassic points out he has cat-like reflexes
I had cats when I lived in apartments and when my children were small because it was easier. They aren’t much work unless you really work at interacting. I don’t see all the moods and personalities others see in cats. They all make the same two or three faces and look nice curled into a ball. This makes me sound like not a cat person. But I’d have one if Lee wasn’t so allergic.
This is the only cat I know now, Potato. She lives with my son.
What I don’t like is cat pee and dirty litter boxes. My sister’s houses always reeked of cat poo. I could never stay long. And I had a cat that got all annoyed at us and peed all over my house, mostly in hidden spots on plastic bags. It was horrible. Once we let him go outside he was fine. We were sure he’d get killed quickly and die happy, but no. He held out forever. He lasted longer than any of my marriages (though Lee only has two years to go to last longer).
Joe the Cat in younger years
Mostly I’ve had dogs. I get along with dogs. Many of my early playmates were neighborhood dogs, back when they all roamed the neighborhood. Our black spaniel dog Maggie was my nice big sister, and Pumpkin, the dachshund mix who came afterwards, was so much a part of the family that we’d forget she couldn’t talk. She was there for my dad and brother while my mom was sick, and was the perfect emotional therapy dog, before that was a thing.
Carlton has been my emotional therapy dog. Here is the day we took him home.
Since we got our family dogs when my kids got older, Gwynn the Corgi and Scrunchy, the pug, I haven’t been without a dog. Well, make that “we” haven’t been without a dog. They are mostly Lee’s dogs, but I enjoy all six of them, too.
Scrunchy was our precious pug.
I’d feel weird without a dog. However, it hurts so much to lose one. I just looked at all my photos of dogs. Sniff. I miss our past companions. But here are random shots of the ones we have now, who are just as good!
PenneyGoldie VlassicHarveyAlfredCarlton
PS: it’s looking cloudy out and there is rain predicted. That would sure be good.
Promising weather. Not much left of the little pond except crawfish and bullfrog homes.
Ah, I’m answering this question rather than sharing my current thoughts. They’ll be more refined tomorrow.
No AI here! It’s a clouded skipper.
For certain, what my husband will tell you makes me lose track of time is nature walks. I just disappear and re-emerge with no idea how long I was gone. I’m completely enthralled by the sights, sounds, and smells of new places or new things in familiar places. I don’t want it to end.
Here’s a new thing I found in the driveway! It’s delicious common purslane, a portulaca (Portulaca oleracea) just like the cultivated one below. Look at the beautiful Texas Striped Sweat Bee in my volunteer portulaca/moss rose
Hanging out with the animals also can make me lose track of time. I’ve just spent twenty minutes thinking about how beautiful Carlton is to me. My love for this guy never ends.
Carlton the Dogman
I ended up spending more time with Drew today than I’d intended, too. I’d walked to the next-door unused mailbox to drop something off, and decided to come back through the horse pasture, you know, in case there were any interesting plants or insects. So, I was concentrating on plants when I got a feeling I was being followed.
Hmmm. (Re-enactment)
I kept going until I felt something hot on my neck.
Ehhhh
Then I realized Droodles was sneaking up on me.
Hi, Mom!
We ended up hanging out for quite a while just enjoying each other’s company. He didn’t push me around looking for treats, just rested his head on me and asked to be scratched. It’s so good to get along with each other again!
Mostly. That ear is showing some mischief is afoot. Yes, I’m not much of a fashionista in this weather. That shirt is very orange and the head covering looks silly but keeps hair out of my face.
Not surprisingly, the other activity that leads me to lose track of time is reading. I’ve been reading Sibley Birds, Second Edition since I bought it in New Mexico. It’s only 600+ pages. I can’t stop looking at all the birds, learning new things about familiar ones and finding out what else might be out there in Texas (and wherever else I go).
Bonus Carlton again.
I will admit to skimming Arctic residents and ocean birds. Otherwise, I’m reading it all. But I’m in the oriole section! I’m almost done! Do not worry. I have a nice long book about animal tracks lined up. That’s what happens when people stop mailing me novels, I guess. (I’m fine for novels! I have some enqueued.)
If I’m repeating myself, forgive me. I’m working on changing my mindset and that can wear me out until I’m through the hardest part (letting go of an unproductive mindset).
Thanks for being there, friends and family. You are appreciated even when I don’t show it well.
Right now, people bother me. Sometimes the isolation out here in a sparsely populated rural area gets to me, and sometimes I’m glad I’m not around fellow humans too much. I’m so iffy on this! Humans both fascinate and repulse me. I find individuals fascinating and groups (political parties, religious denominations, single-focus nonprofits) frightening the more I get to know them. That bothers me.
What else bothers me? Inexplicable behaviors of non-human living beings, like today’s puzzling behavior involving bees and birds.
[Some of this I also posted elsewhere, but I’ve changed it a bit.]
First, bees. For the past week or two I’d been noticing a lot of honeybees around my legs. It seemed like the earth was buzzing. Upon closer examination, I saw dozens of bees crawling on the tiny blossoms of the grass (I think it’s Dallis grass) that is blooming now. The bees were all very busy, zipping from flower to flower (not leisurely sipping as they usually do), and they were loaded with pollen.
Blurry bees full of pollen
This went on for a few days. Yesterday, there was no buzzing as I walked along the field in my daily bird-watching patrol. Then, late in the afternoon I was over by the trees listening to a Yellow-billed Cuckoo when I heard something that sounded like one of those annoying drones people fly these days. I looked up and didn’t see a drone. I saw a large mass of tiny things moving along at a rapid clip. It was hundreds and hundreds of bees swarming. I guess they were moving on to better pastures. I’m not sure where their hive was before, because I hadn’t heard one in a couple of years. I hope they find a nice new dead tree!
Did you know bees swarm in giant balls o’ bees? No, they do not. This FAKE image is what WordPress AI gave me when I asked for a swarm of flying bees. Sophisticated it is not.
Moving along, I’ve also been dealing with birds overhead, specifically the beautiful but omnipresent Barn Swallows. Now, normally they hang out on our porches, building mud nests, raising babies and pooping. They also eat numerous insects, so they get to stay (also it’s ILLEGAL to mess with a nest of wild birds; you can ask Mike Mitchell about it if you don’t believe me). We coexist just fine, looking into or out of the windows at each other, and enjoying the swimming pool area.
Barn swallows skimming the front pond.
However, lately, the little darlings have not been at all happy with me. They aren’t nesting anymore, just flying around the ponds and in the air catching food. They are always there, and for some reason they resent my presence. When I go for my morning or afternoon walks, I often hear a very loud CHIRP, with a Doppler effect as the chirper moves away. The swallows ambush me from behind, for the most part, but occasionally they fly right at me and veer off just before they make contact with my head.
They are fast little guys.
I have absolutely no clue as to why they are dive-bombing me. I’ve had Mockingbirds and Red-winged Blackbirds do this when they are nesting nearby. But, hey, do they think I want to home in on their mosquitos?
Bwa-ha-ha. This is AI’s best attempt at “giant mosquito.” One big eye and antennae on the side of its head. Well, that was a fun experiment.
All the other animals and plants are absolutely not bothering me. I enjoyed seeking out small flashes of peace and beauty around the property today. This stuff is literally saving me, y’all. If things go to hell in a hand basket, at least I’ll be able to enjoy wherever we end up!
Not AI. An actual mutant morning glory. I always find day flowers entrancing. Bumblebee! They haven’t left. Vultures waiting for me to keel over. (Or to eat the dead armadillo)Beautiful squash flowerBullfrogSpace for visitors and my trusty old pool floats. This water is quite soothing.
But things will be fine. Humans, bothersome as they are, seem quite resilient.
The ambiguous question here could be asking about fine wine, whiskey, cheese, or the patina on sculptures. It could also be asking what gets better as people get older. I’ll answer that one, though I warn you a lot of it will sound familiar. I don’t have that many themes in me.
Mmm. Wine.
One thing that I and many of my friends have found to get better with age is the ability to not need to be popular, liked, or acclaimed. It’s like that dull women group on Facebook: we are able to accept our ordinariness as well as our quirks and unique features. Not everyone will be impressed. And many of us elders are just fine with it. Loving yourself just as you are is something that takes a while to learn, for many.
That’s me and Lee. Just as we are.
Age also brings long-term perspective. It’s hard to have the insights that come from a long view until you have one. If you make it past age 50 or so you start to see patterns that repeat and can say, oh yes, I remember when television was going to ruin us but didn’t — probably video games didn’t ruin our children and TikTok won’t ruin our grandchildren. Maybe.
Me pensively taking the long view. Best I can do.
A final gift of age is that you come to appreciate little things in life. As your mind and body weaken, you are glad you can still read books and move around some. You appreciate sunrises and sunsets, because you don’t have many left. And you rejoice in the kindnesses you see in others.
Today’s sunrise.
That’s the best part for me, ferreting out the goodness hiding in plain sight. Try it! You don’t have to be older to do it!
Speaking of goodness, I cleaned my saddle and replaced my missing conchos. I have a saguaro cactus theme.
(I think the title to my post came from an ad for hair dye, right? Yes, I looked it up. It’s from the early 1970s.)
(Bonus: I think I wrote a five-paragraph paper, the thing we kept being assigned to do in high school. Mrs. Chisholm would be pleased, if she were still on this earth.)
The Hermits' Rest 