cognitive dissonance

Oh, the spontaining!

What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done?

Today my friend Martha, with whom I will be traveling soon, told our lunch group that she’s a planner. She has a long list of activities to do on the trip.

I thought to myself, that’s not me. I’m more of a “spontainer” when traveling. That’s Lee’s and my term for just picking a point and going. We often embark on trips with no concrete plans of our route or what we will do when we arrive. Thus, I’m having a hard time picking the most spontaneous thing I’ve ever done.

I’ll admit this. My current mental state is making it hard to dredge up memories—I have become comfortably numb, like in the old song. It will get better; I’m fairly sure I’m not suffering from cognitive decline more than the average person my age. I’m just having a surge in anxiety, which I’m working to understand (both intellectually and psychically).

Good thing I have these guys to soothe my symptoms.

Back to being spontaneous (which I know is not right for every occasion and which often benefits from a bit of planning to succeed). It occurs to me that I am not spontaneous about big things, just day-to-day choices with few consequences. That fits with my self image of not being a big risk taker. I’m now laughing at myself. The cautious spontainer, that’s me, always trying to be everything at once (I’m an extroverted introvert, too).

So, I didn’t get a good answer to the prompt, but I figured out something about myself. I’m definitely comfortable with having conflicting traits. I’m hoping this helps with flexibility and the cognitive dissonance required to feel comfortable at times like these. Maybe it will help me get over this mental struggle.

I forgot to wish you kind readers a happy equinox or Mabon yesterday. It’s still very hot here. To welcome the season I’m wearing a shirt that says, “My favorite season is the fall…of fascism.”

PS: maybe my most spontaneous act was walking into a salon and declaring I wanted to bleach my hair white and cut it very short. That wasn’t the plan that morning!

I’m Inconsistent

Here’s an admission, one we probably can all relate to in our own ways. I can embrace two conflicting beliefs and feel fine about it.

I hope Carlton isn’t judging me for this.

I’ve always been quick to smugly point out cognitive dissonance in others when I spot it. It does make you feel like you’re intellectually superior, like you’d never do such a thing. But I bet you do.

I’m pretty sure Goldie IS judging me there from her recuperation spot.

Here’s my example. I’m not at all comfortable with violence. War disturbs me deeply, as does killing of other humans in other situations. I can’t fathom why my friends and neighbors want to arm themselves so they can be ready to kill at a moment’s notice. I’ve no tolerance for domestic violence. Yeah, quite the pacifist wimp, I know.

But today I watched three professional American football games enthusiastically, especially when the Dallas Cowboys were playing. I enjoy the strategy and athleticism of the game. But there’s a lot of hitting, pushing, falling, and hurting involved. Hmm. How on earth can I love football and hate violence?

There’s no good answer. Part of it is the culture I was raised in, which is a subset of American culture that lacks the gun worship, but has the sports enjoyment feature. It’s just how I ended up.

I’m a mix of values and beliefs I got from my parents, schools, mentors, and books. Photo from Pexels.

I could work on being more consistent. Alternatively, I could just live with it, just like all those Christians who hate people who look or talk differently, or the law and order folks who are fine with electing a lying criminal as their leader. Our minds work in mysterious ways. Asking humans to be logical and consistent is probably asking too much.

Go Cowboys.

What’s something most people don’t understand?

That’s what most people seem to be unable to grasp. There are just too many people out there who don’t see any problem with holding beliefs or opinions that cancel each other out.

So you’re pro life. Good for you. But once a baby is born you’re against helping it. And if it wanders onto your property as an adult, you’d shoot it. And your guns are more important than innocent children in a school or people trying to attend a concert. You’re pro life and pro murder. How can you believe both?

I’ll stop before I offend the other 50% of readers.

Sorry folks, today has taken a turn for the worse and I’m in a less centered space than I’d like to be. The family health issues just keep on coming and there’s nothing we can do but observe and stay centered. Well, we can support each other, which IS something.

Life is challenging. We know that. But it’s also good. Is that cognitive dissonance?

I’m so glad I have lush pastures to wander in (with proper footwear to avoid snakes) and sweet horses to love on and breathe the scent of their grassy (mud encrusted) coats.

The equine buddies are my calmness center right now. Even Apache calmly let him remove his boots and asked for head rubs, and Mabel keeps asking for attention. It surprised me, too, how grooming Dusty and seeing him look so healthy made me happier.

Thanks, horses.