Apache – Page 15 – The Hermits' Rest

Letting Go…Probably Good

In this autumn season of my life,* I’m finding it necessary to let go of many things, from long-held beliefs to long-admired people. No doubt you, too, have found this to be a struggle. Sometimes you just have to let go of the metaphorical rope and see where you end up.

I have been there, and have the T-shirt.

This can work literally, as well. Today when we got back to the ranch, the weather was a little better than when we left town. I felt empowered to ride Apache in the afternoon rather than my usual morning rides on days when it’s over 105°.

I even groomed him completely rather than a quick removal of saddle-area dirt. That’s good, because all the horses appear to have rolled in the dirt after our .004” of rain yesterday. He was orange. Then I saddled up and headed out for a wee ride. I didn’t plan to trot much, since our ground is so hard.

They are resting up, I guess, having escaped after we left. Drew is STILL rolling.

After warming up (our muscles—at 95° we were already warm) I swung into the saddle, only to realize I’d forgotten his bridle. Fine. I “let go of the reins” and we rode around doing circles, figure eights, side passes (sorta), and backing in the round pen. Then we went outside and walked around the pen in both directions, finally heading back to the tack room, where the bridle was waiting.

I ended the ride on the high note of riding with no reins. We were both pleased with ourselves, I think.

Let’s pause to enjoy May-July on the temperature blanket.

If only letting go in other areas could be as easy…wait, that wasn’t easy! We’ve worked years to get here and needed lots of help. Aha! That applies to all areas of life!

And just like how I didn’t know how well the ride would go until I tried, I’m going to have to keep trying to let go of the reins and let go of patterns and people who are holding me back from the peaceful and productive life I want to enjoy from now on.

I hope my roots are as sturdy as this oak’s

I’ll keep practicing and rely on wise mentors as I get better at surrounding myself with strength and love while letting go of anything that makes me anxious, sad, or powerless.

* In my optimistic view, spring is birth to 30 years, summer 31-60, autumn 61-90, and winter begins at 90. Why not?

Back at the Ranch: Amazing Animals

I made it home yesterday, but for some reason the travel completely wore me out. I guess travel is stressful, since my right eye wept all day, while the left eye had a tic. The plane travel was fine, other than the fact that the Charlotte airport was dirtier and dingier than I remembered. Of course, the flight from there to Austin was delayed, so I got to stay there and look at food on the floor and seats quite a while. By the time we boarded, I thought I’d fall asleep standing up.

None of this was heavy except the backpack, which was a carryon. It tried to kill me.

Lee was late exactly the amount my plane was late, which meant for an easy pickup, and I did try to converse with him though I was feeling distinctly zombie-like. By the time I got home I was dizzy and nauseated. What the heck? I’m much better today, with no eye issues and only a bit of fuzzy-headedness. Maybe I have 9-11 PTSD or something (for those of you who don’t know, I was on a plane headed to O’Hare when the events occurred, leading to some traumatic times).

I came home to a lot of love, though. Goldie glued herself to me the second I got into bed and didn’t move for a couple of hours. Today she’s been constantly checking on me, and also trying to inform me that she can’t sit on “her” couch because someone put an immense television on it.

So I got up and moved the immense and very heavy television. It’s the old one from our house in Round Rock, and apparently giant televisions were much heavier then. Glodie is much happier now and I can type (she kept nosing the keyboard away!).

Of course all the dogs were glad to see me, as were the chickens. Some horses seemed more glad than others. Apache was ecstatic, and glued himself to me much like Goldie did. He looks good, other than two sores on his shoulder. The good news is his grass allergy issues are gone, thanks to the Zyrtec, and the rest of him looks wonderful.

Drew was more interested in the water trough I refilled than in me, but after he drank he came and rubbed his wet face on me. He looked really clean, and I wondered why. Here is why:

Apparently, while I was gone, he figured out that the front pond is swimmable. The edges aren’t as quicksand-esque as they were when the water was higher, so he’s taken to swimming around and having a blast. Kathleen said the first time she heard the splashing, she thought we had a gator. Nope, just a sea serpent/horse hybrid.

It doesn’t appear that anyone else has joined Droodles in the horse swimming pool, but I sure was happy to watch him cruising around and having a great time.

There’s really no grass, so I need to get more hay out to them this afternoon. The heat is still miserable, and it hasn’t rained. The high was “only” 99 on Tuesday, but it’s still hard on everyone here. I will be getting out early to work with horses starting in the morning.

It was nice to get back to my office to work, though my house looks like hoarders have moved in. The rest of the furniture from my old house got brought in while we were gone and we’re still working out where to put everything. Much of the stuff is in our newest shipping container, and I owe a HUGE debt of gratitude to the guys who moved everything out of our old church, up and down those stairs.

Yes, we no longer own a church, which I’m not too sad about, because now Cameron gets a new church. I’m told the minister is really nice, so I’m happy for them. It looks like it’s time for our real estate business to find a new investment.

Thanks for reading, and hi to all you new readers! I do have a book report to write, which I hope to get done tomorrow. It takes thought, and I’m too tired to think right now.

Security for Me

Are you seeking security or adventure?

It was a pretty laid-back day, so I’ll answer the daily prompt. It’s an easy one! I’ve never been the adventurous type. I’m not especially fond of trying new things. I like comfort and familiarity. That’s why I have a good imagination; I can do risky things there.

Besides, I don’t have to go far to find beauty.

As I age, this is yet another of my proclivities that has mellowed. I’m finally trying out saying yes to invitations, moving outside my comfort zone, and just taking one step forward and seeing what happens.

Once again, the horsemanship experience has provided a relatively safe place to be adventurous. I learned to ride alone (until I got hurt). I then learned to communicate better with my horse. I finally trotted and didn’t die. Now I enjoy it. Maybe before Apache turns 20 we can canter together. That’s adventurous.

Sara realized that Apache, formerly known as Dingle or Dinghy, showed up at her house 14 years ago today. He was 4. I am hoping he stays as healthy as he is for a few more years! We both started our adventures together rather late, but we’re getting there.

Two things impress me about this picture of my two friends 14 years ago. One, his mane is so white. Two, Sara still wears that cap.

I think I’m always going to prefer security. My mind can go far as long as I feel safe in my home and loved by those who matter to me. it takes all kinds!

I hope this tiny caterpillar stays safe. It’s on a passion vine tendril that curled as I held it.

Smiling So Hard and Learning So Much

The amount of gratitude I have for everyone who’s encouraged me in my horse-loving journey is boundless. That includes my family, Sara (who gave me Apache), the Parelli instructor I learned from early on, our late friend Christi…and of course, Tarrin, who you probably hear too much about. But hey, it’s my blog, and I can talk about anyone I want to (with certain exceptions). And what’s wrong with telling the world a professional is good at their job?

Drew is plotting to have a meltdown at her in this photo (just kidding, horses do not have brains that plot)

My point here is that I’m just so happy to have reached the point in my journey where hard work has paid off and fun is creeping into our lessons more and more. That’s taken a village!

Village member Lee doesn’t mind driving to lessons because he gets to drive Seneca, the motorhome. It looks a bit fancy but darn it, at least we’re using it!

Today I just smiled and smiled during my lessons with Drew and Apache. Sure, my side passing still needs work, but Apache’s doing way better at it. And we had great fun trotting around and improving our form and speed controls. I can’t believe I’m so much better. I like going fast and don’t feel out of control. Neither does Apache. Teamwork!

I think Apache never heard the words “good boy” so many times in his life. He really tries. And he pays attention to me. Meanwhile, I’m learning to ride one handed and it’s really working great. Why knew? And my posture! It’s practically good! Wow. No wonder I smoked.

Plus! Get this! We went all the way to the trailer, past a piece of loyd heavy equipment, and down to the exit gate and back. With ZERO spooks or panics. It was completely calm. Drew, on the other hand, had a big spook when Apache walked by. Too bad Tarrin stopped filming.

Apache is an amazing steed.

Drew’s lesson was more challenging but I learned a lot. He is better but decided it was a good idea to refuse to canter going right. Then he started crowding Tarrin and acting up. Much fit pitching occurred. I learned a lot from how Tarrin calmed him down. He ended up doing exercises for his sore leg like a champ.

It made me really hot and I was dubious about my bath. I ended up liking it.

After he calmed down and did his exercises, I got to ride him around a bit. We did just fine in an unfamiliar place with interesting distractions. And he’d walked right to the trailer so I didn’t have to carry his saddle.

In the end I was proud of Droodles, too. I had to smile as I sat in the shade (so I wouldn’t barf) and watched Tarrin get him in a better frame of mind. I’m going to learn a lot from meltdowns!

By the way, Apache has lost weight and looks like a normal horse, almost.

I probably have more to say but I took something for back pain ( hurt before riding) and I’ve grown woozy. So good night!

Catching Up with Things

I didn’t get a chance to blog last night, because I had a bit of the old heat exhaustion going on. But it could have been worse, and I have no permanent damage. It was simply very hot at my lesson yesterday – as it was for Tarrin and her young helper, who had it way worse than I did. Drew helped me out a bit by still having a hurt leg issue, so there was no riding of him again. Tarrin did some exercises and said she was glad I figured out he didn’t feel good and wasn’t being “stubborn” or “naughty.” I’ll do some exercises with him after another day or two of rest.

You can see how thrilled they were to be going to lessons.

Apache and I still aren’t doing all that great going sideways, then he got a nosebleed from all his snorting in protest. On the other hand, the boy has the cantering concept down at last, and we both are improving greatly in slowing down and speeding up, even if we didn’t do much trotting due to heat and blood. What a day!

I’m still wandering around just in case there are any new birds or insects, but in midsummer, we tend to just have the usual suspects. Things will pick up once migration starts again. I did get a couple of nice photos of a ponderous spur-throat grasshopper (Melanoplus ponderosus) and a giant walking stick (Megaphasma denticrus).

I do have a little happy story to tell that I didn’t get to earlier in the week. You may recall that there was a Carolina wren (Thryothorus ludovicianus) nest in a box on our back porch. I noticed that the babies were getting pretty big and took a picture of them.

I went out to do something and wasn’t around for a while. When I got home, Lee was sitting by the pool, looking (for Lee) excited. What was going on, I wondered? He then told me he had been sitting there, just looking across the pool when he saw something seem to bounce on the water, then land in it. He quickly realized it was one of the baby wrens!

Lee rushed to rescue it, which he did by fishing it out with the pool net. He set the net down on the porch near the nest, and when I showed up, it was there resting and drying off.

You can see how they inspired Angry Birds. Look at those little bits of down!

We watched it for the next half hour or so, while I was swimming and Lee was reading (this was late afternoon before the latest heat wave). We saw it start to shake its head and fluff itself up, which we took to be a good sign that the little bird was drying off and settling down. Lee thought maybe it wanted to be closer to the nest, so he picked up the pool net to move it closer.

At the movement, the fledgling decided it was time to try to fly again, and this time chose a better direction. It went over to the disc golf set and settled down there.

We could see that it moved around a lot the rest of the evening, as we kept peeking out the window. We noted that the sibling bird was long gone, so we guessed the baby would soon head out to be with the rest of the family and learn to catch its own moths and such. Sure enough, I’ve seen the family over by the woods.

I was so proud of Lee for thinking so quickly and saving our little buddy. We are good aviary stewards, I guess. Speaking of our aviary, there’s now a pair of great egrets (Ardea alba) hanging out in the pond behind us, along with the night herons who’ve been there a while.

And I found out why there are so many red-winged blackbirds (Agelaius phoeniceus) by the driveway. There is a huge nest in the willow tree. They sure are active and loud!

Dang Horses, but Whee, a New Sedge

Not much to write about that I have time for, other than the fact that my precious horses were naughty. It’s my own fault for trying to keep them in the front pasture overnight so I could ride Drew this morning.

Drew and Mabel apparently knocked most of the fence between the two pastures down because they WANTED that greener grass. I hope they are happy. I’ll come up with Plan C.

So, I rode Apache this morning instead, and we had a fine time. We walked on the road! Briefly. Very briefly.

All these guys wanted was to hang out with me before it got hot.

Plan C was ride Drew after he ate, while the other horses were nearby. It was still 100° at that time but the sun was less intense. He was much more focused and friendly today, and even seemed glad I got dozens of pieces of dried pepper weed out of his mane. But, no riding occurred. He kept having back leg trouble. He could canter to the right just fine, but the second time he tried going left, he sounded like he hurt. Eek!

So I petted him, walked him around and told him he was a good boy. We see Tarrin tomorrow, so I’ll know more then. It’s weird, because he seemed ok Friday, though I didn’t push him. And he certainly could gallop yesterday, as seen here.

Anyway, since I had to tromp all over the pasture this morning, I also looked at plants. I was happy to see Devils Claw (Proboscidea louisianica) blooming. It is a fascinating plant with aromatic oil and edible seed pods that are beautiful dried. They’re pollinated by native bees. Thanks, Wikipedia, for that info.

While inspecting the downed fence, I saw something unfamiliar and pretty, so of course I photographed it.

I touched its stem and realized it was a sedge, which makes sense, because it was growing in a spot that stays damp longer than most of the pasture. I guessed it was a nutsedge. Two other sedges grow there, too (yellow nutsedge (Cyperus esculentus) and pine barren nutsedge (Cyperus retrorsus)). I looked it up this evening and found it was a new plant I hadn’t seen here before. Short-point flatsedge (Cyperus acuminatus) is common from here up north to Canada. It’s certainly a pretty one!

I’m glad I’m so easily entertained.

A Weekend for Me

This entire weekend I did stuff I wanted to do, when I wanted to. Now, that’s relaxing! Even sweeping the chicken house and getting rid of feed bags was done on MY time. I didn’t breathe poop, by the way. Lesson learned.

I do have a funny horse story. I was out in the pasture heading to bring in Apache, who still likes to play hard to get. I know I’m sending off good vibes, because every other horse comes right to me. And that’s what was funny. Fiona had already latched on to my side as I walked to Apache. Suddenly I heard thundering hooves, then in a puff of dust, Drew’s head appeared directly beside my face. He was just SURE I was looking for him and he was concerned he was late, because he had to pee. Obviously I have no trouble catching Drew. Eventually I once again had to maneuver around three horses and a donkey who were dying for me to take them off to be groomed.

They are all right there. Happy to see me.

Now, once Apache decides he’s ready, he is no trouble at all, and seems to enjoy walking around, being groomed, and riding. He just wants to be the one to decide it’s time to go do stuff.

I’m working on letting Suna be the boss.

He’s so much fun, though. I’m not complaining at all. We have had many years to develop this relationship, so we’ll keep working and I’ll enjoy the ride, literally.

I got a bath, so I could roll and get all dirty again five minutes after this picture was taken.

The rest of today, like yesterday, was spent knitting, floating in the pool, napping, and hanging out. Lee, Anita, and I even got to go out for dinner! My sour cream enchiladas were great, plus they didn’t mess with the temporary crown I need to keep in until Friday.

Naturally, ha ha, I took some nature pictures. This little garden spider got quite a catch!

The aviary kept me all excited again today, though. We got to watch the wren feed her brood and enjoy all those fledgling barn swallows darting and swooping along with their parents. They seemed pretty proud of themselves to be able to sit on the light fixtures.

And to top it all off, there were more genuine clouds in the sky tonight (there were some yesterday, too, but no rain).

That led to an amazing moonrise and sunset. The moon was pretty such a short time. I’m glad I was taking my time and enjoying everything that came along tonight and the rest of the weekend.

It may be time for a new Facebook cover photo.

I hope you have a good week and that the weekend refreshed and renewed you, even a little. I certainly needed some time to reflect and treat myself kindly after beating myself up a bit last week!

I felt like the heron. At home in my place.

Bloggers Need Topics

I don’t have a topic today. Things are going along all right, with few exciting developments that I can talk about. That’s not bad at all. We all need some mostly drama-free periods in our lives.

The best thing about today was that there were a few clouds in the sky. The heat dome is moving away at last, and we will be back to normal levels of hotness.

The grass is turning it’s normal summer brown, though, and I saw my first cracks in the dirt today.

I’ve managed to not get too hot this week by doing horse things early, when I have no early meetings, and feeding the horses in a wet bathing suit. Hey, no one can see me! And Drew likes the pool water smell.

I like the smell of fresh trough water, myself.

Mostly I’ve been going through one of my awkward periods where I express myself poorly and upset people, or feel like a fifth wheel in conversations. I know when I start feeling bad about myself that it’s time to apologize, remind myself I’m as good a person as I can be, and to remember that sometimes your best isn’t good enough.

Yes, then I need to think about Apache and how long my well-meaning efforts weren’t enough for our relationship, but with some help, we got to communicate better. I’ll just listen to helpful people about remedying my faux pas and maybe do some improvements in interpersonal relationships. Being a hermit who wants to make friends is complicated!

Let’s talk about knitting. I finished row 2 of the second unit of the giant temperature blanket and can see it was warming up quickly once May rolled around (after the black square). We got our first red squares, which are over 90°. I was thinking today that I could enter the first bit in the art contest at the Master Naturalist conference. It’s a piece of citizen science, after all. I’d have to type up a nice legend and explanation.

One more piece is f good news is a volunteer tomato plant. It’s with the squash behind the chicken house. Just hope no one mows it! I keep forgetting to mark the “plants” as opposed to cockleburs.

I hope you’re all doing well. Please know that I care about you all, appreciate your feedback, and love hearing your own stories.

Not Blowing Away

Uncharacteristically, I missed two days of blogging. I was not in the mood to write nice, thoughtful words. Being sensitive is hard.

Plus, there was my pain stuff. The back pain is manageable with stretching and not bending over too quickly. But it was eclipsed by the pain from getting my darn root canal procedure finished and getting fitted with a temporary crown. Even with the combination of acetaminophen and ibuprofen, I had searing pain if my top and bottom teeth met. I was a grumpy gal last night, so you didn’t need to hear from me.

Let’s enjoy a flying Great Egret, instead.

Then there was the weather. We’ve had a tiny amount of rain (the storms have missed us two days in a row) but yesterday an incredible blast of wind came out of the east (not the expected direction) and blew things all over the place. Patio furniture flew, a window blew open, and the trees looked like they were going to snap. I’m pretty sure it was hurricane strength. At least we didn’t lose power. It was scary for a while. Straight-line winds are something else!

When I went out to assess the damage this morning, it wasn’t too bad. In fact, it was so pleasant out that I spent some time just watching a friendly rabbit chewing grass. I love how the sun shines through their ears.

Later I went to get the mail and I saw black vultures on my horse area. I got all worried that Vlassic was dead.

But it wasn’t him. It was an amazing roadrunner! What the heck? It looked like the wind had picked it up and slammed it into one of the barrels I use for horse obstacles. Trying to get something positive out of the experience, I looked closely at its beautiful feathers and strong legs, which I certainly can’t do when they are alive. Dang wind.

It’s not all bad, of course. I got praised for doing well at work, which rarely happens to contractors. That, along with reduced tooth pain, made getting through the work day today much better than yesterday.

And chickens. They made it fine over the windy period.

The best part of the day was that Bonnie, the equine dentist, was here for the horses’ annual checkups. It’s just fascinating to watch how she does it. I was encouraged to find out they’d all stayed in pretty good shape and mostly just needed routine maintenance.

I love how she climbs the fence and throws her rope over it to set up her dental station

Dusty is older and started out with some weird teeth, so he just got the “keep him comfortable” treatment, because he doesn’t have enough teeth to truly “fix.” He was very good, though.

Apache did great, too. I’m always so proud of him. He really enjoyed sleeping off the tranquilizers. He even snored.

Drew has started growing in his canine teeth. I wonder if that’s what made him so grouchy for a few weeks? Bonnie said he’s definitely just about to turn five years old, which makes me very happy I chose July 2 as his birthday! He enjoyed the whole experience, including tasting all the equipment and snoozing with Apache afterwards.

Mabel went last. She handled this better than she did the farrier visit. Bonnie kept telling me how much better she looks now. That made me feel glad for all the work we’ve done on her. Mabel’s demeanor change also impressed Bonnie. It was cool to have someone who hadn’t seen her in a year evaluate Mabel. She needed the most dental help, so I hope it will help her keep weight on.

So there, none of us have blown away, and things are all right.

Suna and Skippy the Butterfly

Yesterday, I was floating in my pool float, a thing I do most days after horse activities. There are often various insects in the pool. So far it’s mostly been flying ants, pill bugs, and scorpions (which float to the bottom). For a while there were tiny moths and crane flies. I’d never seen a butterfly, though, until I saw one floating between my legs.

I first tried to shoo it under the float, but it wouldn’t go anywhere. So then I scooped it up with my hands. I saw that it was a fiery skipper, a common little visitor around here.

As soon as my finger touched the butterfly, it took hold of it. At first, Skippy (I got to know it so well that I named it) didn’t look too good. Its wings were wet, its abdomen was droopy, and its legs were flat. Poor waterlogged little thing! I felt the least I could do was let it recover a bit.

This may be my only other non-blurry photo of one of these.

So, I floated around, sipped on my water, and watched Skippy. The first thing Skippy did was stick out its proboscis and drink some water off my finger. That was fun to watch. Soon, the antennae started moving a bit. I thought maybe Skippy was ready to get off, so I tried to encourage it to go onto the patio by shaking my finger. Skippy held tight.

So, fine. I watched the clouds and birds, and kept floating. Soon, Skippy’s abdomen raised up and looked perkier. Its legs unfolded a bit, and it moved around a little. That was encouraging.

I’d say it took another ten minutes before Skippy started walking around on my finger. I guessed it was waiting for its wings to dry about. I enjoyed looking at its big black eyes and checking out the little bulbs at the ends it each antenna. This was about as good a chance to study a live butterfly as I will ever get.

Suddenly, Skippy pooped, or peed, or something. The abdomen bobbed up and down a couple of times, and poof! Skippy skipped off across the grass, headed towards the trees. I think helping this creature made me feel better about not helping the armadillo yesterday.

I also saw this most excellent beetle yesterday, good ole *Enaphalodes taeniatus.* A beetle this cool deserves a fun common name and a long Wikipedia article. But nope. These mainly live from around here south into Mexico.

Today was a fine day. Horses were great, other than Apache not wanting to get caught. It’s hard to catch him, since all three other horses and Fiona come right up and mill around me. It’s pretty comical. They think they should all get treats for being so good, I guess. Fiona just about glues herself to me and Dusty is not much better!

The most fun thing today was that I picked 5 cups of mustang grapes across the road from us. I’m sure Hank across the street thought I was crazy for standing in the heat picking weeds. I thought he wasn’t wise to be jogging in a heat advisory, so we’re even!

Fresh grapes! I had to dodge a lot of garden spiders to get them.

I cooked the grapes with a bunch of sugar and a little lemon. When grapes popped out of their skins, they looked like floating eyes (great Halloween trick, because it sort of looked like eyeballs in blood). Luckily it all cooked down.

Eyeballs had not appeared yet when I took this.

After it was cooked, I strained it through a mesh colander and got pretty purée. It thickened well in the refrigerator, and it was delicious over vanilla ice cream. The color was bright fuchsia. The sauce is tart but has a nice grape flavor, too. If I was good at canning, I’d have made jam.

That was a great ending to a pleasant evening of swimming and eating sloppy joes with friends. Now on to another work week!