work – Page 8 – The Hermits' Rest

Aw, Shucks

Today was my birthday, and I expected to spend the day working, then doing horse stuff, including taking Drew to his re-education camp. I did all that, but when I came home well after dark I found birthday balloons on the mailbox, hanging geraniums in baskets on the front porch, and a nice meal being cooked. Then my son and his partner showed up, so we had a wonderful family dinner!

I even got birthday cards and a tres leches cake from the local bakery. It has to marinate, so we got to enjoy a sampler of baked goods for dessert after our tacos and homemade guacamole. It was so kind of my family to do this. You could have blown me over with a feather!

It was just one of those very full days. I enjoy days with challenges that take work to solve, but you can cope. Work was that way today, with laughter on top of it. Wow, it’s great to have a good job and supportive team!

I have no work photos, so here’s a willow branch covered in dew.

Horses were also challenging but do-able. Apache was a mess when I got him from the pasture so I had to wash him off. I think that helped. I was also able to get Drew haltered and ready to go to Tarrin’s safely.

Once at Tarrin’s he was back in his old pen, but he was jumpy at construction going on, new horses, and mares next to him. They also got excited and ran around their pen dozens of times. We kept wondering if they’d ever stop!

Aragorn and Apache managed to do their lessons, though. I got a lesson at putting on Apache’s new saddle pad, and we changed out his straps so he’s all green now. Snappy.

I am pleased with the progress my fine gelding and I are making. Tarrin purposefully got Apache annoyed so I could practice settling him down. Maybe this will help when he’s at Sara’s again. Still, he’s doing trot transition work very well and I’m proud of him (and me—lots of butt bouncing). Bonus: Tarrin gave me chocolate ale to take home! And nail strips!

Tarrin took this picture to show how straight he was standing, just as he was going to shake his head.

The last couple of days have given me much to be grateful for! Hoping it stays this nice!

My Next Challenge

What is the biggest challenge you will face in the next six months?

The next six months bring a lot of challenges. There’s no way to avoid changes at the macro and micro level. My main one will be to decide whether to retire or keep working. If I retire, my income goes way down, so I’ll have to change a lot. If I keep working, I’ll still be dealing with changes made by the company where I work.

I guess the good thing about being a “senior citizen” is that whatever happens, the consequences won’t last too long, because neither will you. Ha ha. Elder humor. And yes, I do realize I could drag on another 30 or more years. I plan to be ancient.

My fingernails will keep me alive by being so loud.

Today was fine, other than human beings disappointing me (vandalism at the nearby cemetery and getting a weird email from the city saying the Red House on Fannin had been reported for…something).

I saw the first bluebonnets on our road, had a nice ride on Apache, and enjoyed the moon for the second evening in a row. Lee and I watched it rise while we sat by the pool discussing our challenges.

Tomorrow should be fun, so I’ll just leave it there.

I Like Candy?

What’s your favorite candy?

Weird question. I’d say my current fave is a salted caramel milk chocolate square thing you can get from Costco. One is plenty.

I needed a Milky Way bar this afternoon to give me energy to do chores after work. I wish it had helped me realize my Master Naturalist meeting was tonight. I wrote it down on the wrong Thursday in my calendar. Buh.

Before spacing out, I had a long but fun day, especially when a nice woman taught me how to build a chat bot in MS Teams. I’m not sure if it’s what I actually need, but I had fun messing with the technology.

Then I headed out to horse world without a care in the world.

Drew walked right up to me and indicated he was not interested in working with me, so I put him in his pen and had fun with Apache. He was very interested in getting some fun and exercise in. He acted thrilled to be groomed (I was thrilled to groom him, because he’s shedding! On time! The medicine may be working!

When I took him out to do some slow walk and trot loops (adding more straight walking in), he decided to jump the cavaletti. After a try or two he was trotting over all the logs with vigor. When I sent him the other way after a bit of a rest, he got the zoomies and literally flew over everything at a canter, three times. When I stopped him, he had that look on his face he gets when he knows he did a good thing.

So we left all the other horses to wait for supper while we had a nice walk over to some old grass that won’t kill him, as a reward. I’m glad I had that Milky Way bar, because he had me zipping with him. It was fun.

Daily Bird

Today I heard yet another sound I’d been missing since summer, the sound of a mockingbird going through its repertoire of songs. All winter they’ve just been chirping, like the cardinals and blackbirds also did. I reveled in my mini concert this morning!

Other birds are singing more rather than just giving short calls. The tufted titmice are now bellowing their shrill song, and to my surprise, the brown-headed cowbird has a very pleasant tinkling chiming song that I heard a lot today. See, they aren’t all bad.

A Dream Job That’s a Walk in the Woods

What’s your dream job?

My dream job has changed over the years. If money were no object, I’d teach knitting and crochet part time. I don’t want to be a famous knitting guru like some of my friends; I just want to bring the joy of a lifetime pastime to others. It’s so rewarding.

The temperature blanket for this year is so fun and has purple in it! Cool. Literally.

Nowadays, though, I am getting so much from my time out in nature that it would be a dream job to be a park interpreter. I could lead walks and hikes that show folks how ecosystems work, what plants and animals there are in different habitats, and how to identify what they see, hear, smell, and touch.

I could lead a hike here and show folks all the future wildflowers in midwinter.

I could also teach hiking etiquette. Like, don’t bellow at the top of your lungs and sing rock songs so loud you scare all the woodland creatures for miles, which is what the only other hikers I saw today did. Ugh.

Anyway, we’re enjoying a very peaceful time at Cooper Lake State Park. We are the only people here who don’t work here. It’s glorious and peaceful, probably the quietest state park we’ve been at. Someone was shooting something somewhere nearby and it was SO loud with no other noise around.

It was really cold last night here in northeast Texas, down to 20°. We got in late, and the heater just couldn’t cope. It got down to 58° inside, but I slept so well. Quiet. Once the sun came out, the heater coped and tonight it’s fine.

Because it was sunny and there was no whipping gale wind, it actually wasn’t too bad outside, and I was able to go on a couple of nice walks around this huge lake and the hardwood forest around it.

There were ducks, herons, a cormorant, gulls, greater yellowlegs, belted kingfishers, and more on the lake shore.

The bird highlight for me was getting to see a golden-crowned kinglet close enough to see that little crown. Theirs are way easier to see than ruby crowned.

Woodland birds included lots of crows, blue jays, cardinals, robins, and woodpeckers. The most popular tiny bird was the yellow-rumped warbler, but there were plenty of titmice, wrens, chickadees, and sparrows. Two nuthatches also showed up. Lots of singing and flitting to enjoy. Who cares about the cold!

You could see all the wildflowers and grasses in their winter resting states. There were colorful leaves and berries if you looked carefully, though. I found it fun to try to figure out what the dried flowers and bare trees were. I’ll see how well I did when I put them in iNaturalist.

What didn’t I see? Insects. Not one butterfly showed up. No bees or flies. They’ll be back soon as it warms up again. The little insect-eating birds like phoebes and mockingbirds were busy with other food in the meantime.

I could do this observation stuff for a living with other people! However, wow, it’s nice to do it alone. Traveling without the annoyance of other humans sure is pleasant. I prefer this to cities.

To wrap it up, here are some fun pictures of tracks I found along the lakeshore. There are herons, ducks, little birds, raccoons, and a canine. I didn’t see deer tracks, but I did see deer, so of course they are here!

Some Things Were Good in 2023

Sure, the past few years have had their challenges. However, there’s lots to be happy about, too. Let’s take a moment to appreciate what went well. While I’m sharing a few things, you can be thinking of yours.

I just want to start by being asap and declaring that how much better my relationship with my spouse is now. We’ve hit a really good spot. The time we’ve spent out camping and hiking has been a real highlight of the year.

Next on my list of things that were positive has to be my growth with my horse relationships. Drew and I have been in and off, but the last couple of weeks have been so much improved. He’s such a sweet horse. Today he even let me put his bridle on without complaining. It helps that he doesn’t have a headache!

I took him to the yummy grass as a reward today.

Apache and I have had some amazing moments, too, and I’m focusing on them while his foot recovers from the abscess and he gets used to his daily medication. He still acts stoned much of the time. But our relationship is so much better than ever. That’s what counts.

Learning to listen to bird calls thanks to the Merlin Bird ID app has greatly added to my quality of life. I treasure my bird watching and listening time! Today was a WOW bird time. There were hooded mergansers in the bottom pond today! So glad I had my binoculars, because I’d have missed them otherwise.

I saw the ducks when trying to watch the egret catch fish. They look like blobs in the photo.

The ducks didn’t even come up as a possibility in Merlin, but they’re rather unmistakable.

I wrote up all the birds I saw or heard here at the ranch this month. There were 71!

That doesn’t count anything I saw in Milano or Canyon Lake!

I’ll be interested to track bird numbers each month next year.

Other good things? I’ve enjoyed my work, which is always a plus. The Red House on Fannin has been profitable as a short-term rental. I’ve only had a few issues with depression and anxiety. My physical health has been really good, too.

I’m like a tree adding strong new rings. And my hollow spots hide surprises.

I have become comfortable in my friendships and community relationships here in Cameron, too. It’s nice to have a bit of a social life with meaningful connections in person. It’s community and connection with friends and family that will help deal with the inevitable challenges in 2024.

Here’s my friend’s leg, with two dogs asking for attention. All part of the community!

There’s always something out there to be grateful for!

Hard Decisions That Turn Out OK

What’s the hardest decision you’ve ever had to make? Why?

You ask that, do you? I agonized a very this for about three years, during which time my mother passed away followed immediately by a breakup with the love of my life that was all my fault, followed by a serious of incredibly stupid relationship decisions and total failure at my career path. 1984-87 really stunk.

Here comes the brutal honesty for which I’m noted, for better or worse.

I’d say this was the period in my life when I realized that, no, I wasn’t the brilliant, nice, ethically consistent person I thought I was. That’s hard. I realized just how mentally screwed up I was in my drive to be perfect and that I was an emotional vampire who confused sex with love. Everyone has to realize they’re imperfect eventually (if they’re honest with themselves).

Worse, I ended up unable to stomach being an academic with all the drama, pressure, and competition. It just wasn’t what I’d hoped it was and I wasn’t actually very good at it.

So I decided to leave my career path and all the people I cared about at the university and do something else. I felt like a failure and that I’d let my family and friends down. That was hard. Acknowledging my inadequacy was hard. Admitting I was a bad partner was hard. Owning up to my anxiety and past trauma was very hard.

But no one really cared very much about my inner turmoil. They just wanted to see me stable, happier, and more positive. I ended up free of expectations and obligations and could move forward to use all I’d learned in a perfectly good career. I learned to love in a positive way. It was OK.

Oh look I’m crocheting something. It’s a hot pad in thermal stitch.

I make decisions much faster now. I’ve learned that whatever I do will be fine. I’ll learn the lessons I need to learn and keep putting one foot ahead of the other. Today is what matters and I want more peaceful, fulfilling days than stressful ones.

Daily Bird

I enjoyed a group of Harris’s sparrows today. I realize I’ve featured a lot of sparrows but we have eight kinds here! I heard these guys by the brush pile this morning, which pleased me because there was so much traffic on our road due to an accident that it was hard to hear birds in front of the house.

Harris’s sparrows make a less melodic sound than some of the others, more like very loud, low barks. It’s hard to decide how to describe it. But they were chatty and friendly today.

A pair of them started out in the honey locust, then got on the ground quite close to me, so I could easily see their interesting black head and chest markings. They’re the most distinctive ones, for sure.

By the way, the house wren and Carolina wren are loudly lobbying to be featured, so I’ll get something else soon. In the other hand, I’ve seen Mexican eagles (caracaras) doing mating dances in the sky twice this week. They do some loud wing flapping! So, they’re candidates. More to come.

In Three Years?

What will your life be like in three years?

I’m pessimistic about life in three years, and it creeps into my nightmares.

I will probably stop working in Corporate America by then. I hope there’s still Social Security.

I’m three years I’ll still find tiny baby insects cute.

We may have to go somewhere we feel safer. Texas elected officials make policies that worry me, as someone who’s not an evangelical Christian white guy.

I’m not sure there will be places not run by extremist dictators in three years to go to.

And it will be hot and dry.

Hope I can still have horses. Though at the moment mine are getting on my last nerve. I’m addition to each being covered by burs, there’s this.

Drew broke the water line to the trough. It flew 20 feet. Drew then thought it was a snake and huffed at it.

All the people turning on each other with intolerance and cruelty messes with my mind. I think that’s actually a reasonable response.

Oh, I’ll probably just keep trying to be kind and work for peace in my own way. Mother Nature will still be here. Love will be here. They both may just be harder to find.

International Day of Peaceful Rationality

Invent a holiday! Explain how and why everyone should celebrate.

Today’s prompt made me think, especially in light of all my efforts at bringing peace into my soul the past few days. I’d love a holiday that encourages people to sit back and drop their antagonistic thoughts toward “the other” for a day and work together to create sensible, rational solutions to the issues that conspire to keep all of us from having the chance to live meaningful, productive lives.

I saw a belted kingfisher and a bunch of fish jumping today!

I predict my holiday could lead to arguments over the meaning of peace and the relevance of rationality. But I can dream, can’t I?

Some of us live in peace and safety, like this little buck. Most of us live in a world full of deer feeders fattening us up to feed someone else.

I’m cynical today. Sometimes the news makes you feel even less optimistic than others. And this is after hiding in the woods for a few days. I’m still in the woods, but it was a long work day. I’m happy my office setup works so well. It’s really freeing to be able to work anywhere you have bandwidth.

I’m ready to get home and take care of the animals myself. I hope Apache’s new meds arrived and will work out. I hope humans work things out, too, but I’m betting on the horse.

What’s your holiday?

A Different Me

What alternative career paths have you considered or are interested in?

Here’s a prompt I was interested in. I was really stuck on a career path until I was about 26 and realized I didn’t want to write about little syllables at the ends of Japanese words the rest of my life. But I loved the teaching of linguistics. I love teaching anything.

Todays illustrations are cool cloud formations from today.

The first path I should have considered was getting a degree in music education so I could teach choral music and sing in choruses. That seems more likely than making a living in folk-rock.

Another path would have been to switch my college major to biology once I realized how good I was at it. I could have gotten to do field research and written marginally more interesting scientific papers…or taught biology. Still, I’d get to hang out in nature for a living. But I’d have ended up specializing in maggots or something, knowing my luck.

I could have done forestry and become a park ranger? Right now that’s my vote, especially if I could ride horses in the forest.

I seriously considered a career change in mid life to work in a yarn shop and teach knitting and design patterns. I enjoy doing that still, but I’m not creative or driven enough to actually make a living at it. I sure admire my friends who do it, though.

Someday I’d like to write a book that’s got a plot. Obviously I have a lot of words in me. They just need more structure than a blog! I do write for my job, but honestly, I’d be writing every day no matter what. Maybe I’d write letters. Maybe I’d write poems or songs. Who knows? I just enjoy making sentences. That’s not a different me; the writer is the real me.

I don’t think photography is a potential career path.

So…what are your alternative careers?

Listening to Myself Talk

One of the odder things I do in my job is record myself talking about software. It’s nice and low-tech, using a fairly nice headset and inexpensive recording software (Audacity). I’m not making a fancy podcast or recording music, so this works fine.

Of course, I have to edit the recordings, which requires a lot of listening to myself talk. I’ve gotten good at just pausing when I mess up and starting again at the previous place where I paused, so no one can tell I edited the recording. You have to use the same pitch and volume to do a good job. Sometimes I don’t.

Just like sometimes my photos are dang blurry.

Over the years I’ve trained myself not to gasp before I talk, not to make clicking sounds between words, to put ending consonants at the ends of words without sounding overly precise, and to vary my pitch so people won’t fall asleep. Doing it right the first time makes the process much less tedious.

I write out a script, so I won’t forget important details, but do my best to write words I can say naturally. My love of parenthetical expressions doesn’t get to come out much in the scripts. And I keep my sentences fairly short, as much as I can with talking about computers.

The best outcome of recording training videos is that I’ve become comfortable with the sound of my own voice. Like many people, I used to cringe at recordings of myself, because it didn’t sound like my voice does in my head when I’m talking. But now I think I sound fine. It’s sorta southern, but just a bit, not like my informal voice. I’d probably cringe to hear a recording of me telling a story like I did tonight at the Master Naturalist Meeting.

My fancy recording voice is like my shadow self. It’s very bland.

The only reason I wrote this blog entry is that it’s what was passing through my mind as I was about to fall asleep from another busy day. I guess I dragged whoever reads this through my sleepy thoughts.

Drew wanted me to write about his new browband. And that his head is healing fine.