Ramblings – Page 17 – The Hermits' Rest

It’s Like Riding a Bicycle – Information, Not Advice

List the people you admire and look to for advice…

Okay, I’m not going to list everyone I admire! Some of them do t want to be blogged about, anyway. And advice? An organization I used to work for had a catchphrase something like, “Offer information, don’t give advice.” I rarely ask for advice these days. But I appreciate information from trusted sources.

That said, I have always found doing tarot card readings to be a way of providing information and perspectives without giving advice. You get some ideas from archetypal images and let the person you’re reading for draw their own conclusions. Ideally.

Celtic cross with significator, using Babylonian Tarot.

I hadn’t been reading cards much. The reading above was years ago in a previous post. Since 2018, I haven’t really wanted any insights into things around me, sort of feeling like ignorance may be bliss. But I’ll read if asked.

So today I was asked. I then realized my favorite Robin Wood deck was hiding somewhere in my Austin house stuff. And I was feeling rusty, especially since the only deck I could find that wasn’t overly cutesy was one with alternative names for suits, and worse, had labels on the cards giving them meanings I didn’t necessarily want to hear.

This cheerful card did come up. The good news is no one can stab you any more. They’re out of swords.

However, the reading went fine. Like riding a bicycle, it all comes back. I just love looking at what is laid out and seeing a gestalt of what the cards are hinting at before looking at details. That is FUN. And helping people with problems look at things from a new perspective is rewarding. (Plus I got to talk to an old friend.)

Maybe if I locate one of the decks I’m more comfortable with, I’ll do more, just not for me or my family. I have a friend who’s a professional tarot reader who doesn’t do family readings.

(I’m sure somewhere in this blog I talk more about out tarot and how I use it, so in a few words, no I don’t predict the future and no it’s not a parlor trick. It’s intuition and archetypes.)

I’m glad I was home and able to spontain a tarot reading, since not much else happened today. More rain and wetness! 100% humidity means I had big hair. I did get to see a big ole jackrabbit, which is pretty rare here, and continued to get the buntings more comfortable with me. I enjoy both the painted and indigo ones singing and flitting around.

You can practically tell that this is a bird! They’re getting closer!

I hope you have trustworthy advisors, but even more, I hope you have the wisdom to make your own decisions based on good information, and if you get a tarot reading, don’t take it literally. That’s my advice.

Innate Direction

What gives you direction in life?

After the hiccups this week, I’m ready for a shift in direction, but I don’t really need one. Little challenges help keep me focused on the big picture, not the tiny dots that make up the totality.

It’s like the temperature blanket, which I need to look at like this every so often, to see the winter flowing into spring. Mostly I look at individual squares.

Today’s challenge was getting stung by a scorpion, even though I’d checked my boots before putting them inn(from now on they don’t stay outside, even if they got all muddy in the stuck-in-the-water challenge earlier in the week). And hey, the intense pain makes me forget the hurt of my big-ass hoof-shaped bruise from Tuesday’s challenge! And I feel the itching from the chigger bites I got in the woods yesterday celebrating May.

It rained a lot, and we kept seeing crawfish crossing the driveway. I almost stepped on the one trying to disguise itself as a leaf. I avoided a crawfish pinch!

It’s all pretty funny at this point, and it reminds me that my direction is shaped by my innate desire to learn how things work. Mostly I want to observe life around me and determine patterns. Today I carefully noted all the different vireos and warblers that have appeared in the last few days. There was even a rose-breasted grosbeak, not common here. I’m curious as to how long they’ll visit during migration.

Yes, this is my best warbler photo. No idea which one it is.

Where I hope I’m headed is to even more internal peace and calm. Watching the seasons repeat yearly with variations but an overall consistency grounds me more and more. I think I’ll need that in the coming months.

I’m driven to try to understand people, as well. Like many of us, some of the things groups of people are saying and doing confuse me, but I’m doing better at seeing how much of it stems from humans needing to belong. Tribalism is not pretty when one feels threatened. I like it much better when it’s about football teams.

Did someone say threat? I better get hopping!

I’m wandering, so blame the Benadryl I took. But I want to recommend a television show we’ve been watching that has been very good for my soul. It’s A Brief History of the Future, which is streaming on PBS. The show looks into where humanity is headed in positive as well as negative ways. I’ve learned a lot about ideas that can heal the planet and make life better for all people. It celebrates differences and commonalities. Worth watching!

Like floods, it all passes. The green in the pond is the usual shore, and the shiny area in back is water pouring in.

I hope you’re enjoying the direction in which you’re headed. I love the daily surprises, both fun and painful. My hope is that they balance out so there’s never a dull moment unless we want one.

Family Gratitude

Describe a positive thing a family member has done for you.

I can’t really say one positive thing about family member has done, because I have many kind and generous souls in my immediate and extended family. I don’t know how I’d be coping right now without their support.

This story has no illustrations, so you get today’s nature. First, two flowers and two bugs.

One recent positive thing has come about because my stepmother, who really resembles my late mother in so many ways, has moved into assisted living, this needing to downsize again. So, my stepsister got the fun job of going through her inheritance, or at least some of it, to see what she wanted and what could be passed on in some way.

Oh look, a butterfly. It’s a Phaon or Pearl Crescent.

When I got the call about Flo going into the smaller, safer, apartment, I never expected to be told that my stepsister wanted to give me all the jewelry my dad had given Flo. This is her inheritance, not mine! I was so touched at the offer. I’ll treasure whatever I receive. Dad had good taste in jewelry for a boy from the hills of Georgia.

The next call I got indicated there’s more than jewelry and that we need to meet somewhere to transfer it. Ooh. I guess I’m glad we have that storage container (really the issue is that Flo mainly owned very breakable objects that shouldn’t be shipped – I think I have enough big things already.

Anyway, this generosity is appreciated deeply. I admire Flo’s good taste so much, and I love her paintings. I’m so lucky that both she and Mom were painters (and other artistic endeavors). And yes, you can tell I’m a Baby Boomer, because I love family heirlooms. I don’t expect my offspring to be too interested in my treasures; they’ll make a GREAT estate sale, though.

And that’s my story! Today was another good one, and I’m glad I could help out my family a little myself!

Happy ladybug season (with silky evil ukulele and medick).

(Yes, D&L, I’m trying to come up with a plan. Love you both.)

It’s Not a Restaurant, But

What is your favorite restaurant?

I admit that right now I don’t have a favorite restaurant. There are lots I like (even here in Cameron), but no favorite. But I think I have a favorite chef at the moment!

It’s found here, in a Fulshear, Texas suburb.

We met this fine chef on a visit to Lee’s high school friend and his spouse, along with our frequent visitor, Matt. We are all pretty compatible in our philosophical leanings, so the conversation was good. It was so good that I forgot to take any photos except plants in the wild area behind the house.

Hummingbirds and butterflies loved this rough leafed dogwood.

Anyway, we are extremely well on this visit. I’m pretty sure that if I could hire a personal chef, P. would be it. Everything was healthy but delicious, exactly what I’d make for myself if I had the time and patience! Examples:

Homemade Gorgonzola salad dressing. It was so thick and savory, not as intense as blue cheese.
Salmon en croute. The best way to cook salmon. Topped with a papaya salsa. Whoa. That was good.
Then there were extremely cute little purple potatoes, the purplest I ever saw.
I forgot homemade pumpkin rolls that were only subtly pumpkin. I never had anything like it.
Pumpkins showed up for pie in dessert, too.

What a meal! And she made it look easy. But wait, there’s more! In the morning we had this Amish oatmeal bake with fruit, nuts, and eggs in it. It may sound weird, but it was fantastic. I was ready to go raise a barn after that.

Who needs a restaurant when you can visit a gourmet cook? I wish I were that talented with food. But we got to enjoy it!

Visiting Suburbia

The drive to where we visited was very pretty, since we passed many beautiful cattle and horse ranches, but after we checked into our hotel (Lee needs a couch to sleep on and it’s weird to request that of hosts, like you reject their lovely bed), the GPS routed us through suburb after suburb. These were new, nice suburbs.

Now, I lived in Suburb World while my sons were growing up. I was used to the fancy entrances, the ponds with fountains, the elaborate playgrounds and pools, and all that, though we lived in a less fancy suburb.

I felt kind of like Granny Clampett arriving in Beverley Hills after living her life in the Ozarks. Jed! It must take a passel of sheep to get that grass so short! But where are their pens?

Yeah, I obviously have been out in the country/small rural towns for so long I’ve forgotten all that HOA perfection. To me, getting the fence lines weed-eated is dang fancy now. All those perfect lawns, those non-native plants, and those giant houses on tiny lots look strange to me now.

I truly enjoyed the trip down memory lane, though. But I’m now more comfortable in towns with a magnificent old home next to a 50s ranch, with a house with no lawn and no recent maintenance next to that. And of course, non-functional vehicles randomly strewn around.

And out in the country, various pieces of equipment in various stages of utility lurk behind various outbuildings in various stages of construction. Often there are more travel trailers than homes. That describes the Hermits’ Rest, and it’s fine with me!

I honestly think our roadside plants are also pretty.

I’m glad there are places for all types of folks! It was fun visiting the Houston environs, and who knows. We may return. The food and hospitality are good!

Same Work, Different Tools

How has technology changed your job?

I’m a technical writer/trainer/instructional designer as my paying job. I also do a lot of editing. This kind of profession has probably been around since there were jobs. Someone has to teach others skills needed in various professions, and someone has to record information accurately.

Someone had to pass along fence building skills on ranches, so birds could poop out seeds and create rows of trees on fence lines. These are Eve’s necklacepods (*Styphnolobium affine*)

I’m pretty sure there are technical manuals in hieroglyphics. No doubt scribes hand-wrote instructions for doing things correctly. Certainly people have shown others how to perform tasks (weaving, sewing, carpentry, brewing, and such) without need for writing. Maybe they drew pictures. Teachers have always had to be there to pass down necessary skills, whether formally or informally.

So, while I don’t work in the world’s oldest profession, skills like mine have always been needed to pass on traditional skills. Teaching may be the second oldest profession.

Technology has affected what I do like it has any form of teaching. It’s provided new tools to create material and given us options like videos, which any of us can now use (to either teach or confuse, judging from the videos on knitting I’ve seen).

I need a genetics teacher to explain how the white versions of flowers come up.

Of course, what I teach about is software, which wouldn’t be a subject if we didn’t have computers at our fingertips. Sometimes I wish I could teach something more tangible or timeless. Software comes and goes in a flash. No one needs my WordPerfect teaching skills today!

I figure no matter what new technology comes up, I’ll be using it to share knowledge with others. That’s my passion.

Conversely, I’ll also keep wanting to learn. It’s why I enjoy my journey with trying to ride my horses skillfully and care for them appropriately. No matter how old I get, I want to keep moving and learning. Just look at my posture! I hardly recognize myself.

I’m glad to have a job that’s always relevant, no matter how times and technology change. I’m just as glad to have hobbies that have been around a long time but remain relevant, like equestrian skills and crafts!

End of ramble. Here’s another picture of me and Apache, this time looking medieval.

Saying Yes to No

How often do you say “no” to things that would interfere with your goals?

Yet another item on my endless list of good things about getting older is that I finally realized that I always agreed to do things just because I was so flattered to be asked, combined with a deep desire to feel like I was a part of something. That has led me down some doozies of rabbit holes.

There’s probably more than one rabbit hole hiding in this photo.

I now realize I joined the nonprofit organization I used to work for mainly because I desperately wanted friends. I have never been passionate about the cause, though I did and still do respect it. I just never was a fanatic. So why I sacrificed my mental health and self esteem because I couldn’t say no to any of their requests is still puzzling to me.

I should have stopped and smelled the bluebonnets.

On the other hand, I did end up with lifelong friends. I have, however learned to say no to them when a request conflicts with my goal to remain safe from cultish behavior. I can help out a reasonable amount without harming myself.

I’ve also learned my friends still like me if I say no occasionally. Aha!

Recently I’ve said no in a lot of subtle ways that maybe only I notice. But wow, it feels great to go out after a long work and horse day and just relax rather than cooking or cleaning. I’m saying no to self-imposed obligations.

It’s more fun to look for verbena than count verbs in my writing.

Back to the original question, I have many interests, and to do any of them well has meant setting some aside. You can’t do it all. So I’m not starting quilting again or trying to garden. You won’t see me doing extensive meal planning , shopping, and prepping, even though I admire those who have the time. I’m not writing a book even though I could. And so on.

Why look, vervain! Who needs to garden when this stuff just shows up.

Learning your limits and narrowing down your passions to something manageable can lead to less stress. That leads to contentment and appreciation of what you can say yes to. So I say.

Don’t worry, bee happy (only that’s actually a soldier fly)

What do you think?

Complimented and Content

What was the best compliment you’ve received?

I’ve had some much appreciated compliments during my life, though like so many others, I tend to discount compliments (oh, that can’t be true!) and dwell on criticism. That’s not a healthy pattern!

I took this photo before we left the state park to remember when I need to settle my mind.

So I’ve been trying to pay more attention to any compliments that come my way, soak them in, and express gratitude for them. One I loved came when I had only been at my current job for a few months. One of the subject matter experts told his colleagues how much he enjoyed my training videos, because I have such a soothing voice that it makes even project management software interesting. That was unexpected! I do think I have a pleasant professional voice, and I had good training thanks to all my singing and tips from a former supervisor who reads books for the blind.

Visually impaired people can enjoy honeysuckle because it smells so good.

One reason I enjoy my current job is that not only do I enjoy the work, but people let me know they appreciate what I create for them. Of course there is criticism, but it’s kind and helpful. I can improve! Win.

Hawthorn looked like a bridal bouquet to me. My compliments to the plant!

Here’s my big takeaway. The thing I find most important about compliments is how good it can feel when you let someone else know something that you like about them. A compliment that’s sincere, unexpected, and insightful can really brighten someone’s day. I most assuredly get more out of delivering a well deserved compliment than receiving one (though both are good!).

What I can do without are insincere compliments that aren’t even well thought out. That’s more like flattery designed to get you to do something or buttering you up for some unpleasant request. Like talking to a poor salesperson. Yuck. If you can’t compliment someone accurately, don’t try.

But I was glad to get home. I missed the horses and Fiona. (And dogs!)

And that’s my advice after a long day of work and travel down roads so bumpy that my watch gave me exercise credit for them!

It was hard to crochet, too but I finished this bag to hold my phone in Seneca. The truck cab lacks amenities like cubbies.

Not So Negative Traveler

What strategies do you use to cope with negative feelings?

I’ll tell you what I do with negative feelings! I squash them down and distract myself with plants! Who can feel bad when they’ve just seen their first mayapple?

The most beautiful plant! The flowers hide under a giant leaf umbrella!

One common criticism of Past Suna was that she was sooo negative. That stung, but it led me to get to work on figuring out how to reframe how I interpreted the world around me. That, in turn, has led me to express myself less negatively. It was a lot of effort at first, but I think I’m a lot less negative, in general.

Sure, it rained this morning, which made getting ready to travel difficult, but it was beautiful afterwards, and we needed the rain.

I’ve noticed that lately, when things happen that once would have made me upset, I notice that whatever it was happened, feel angry, annoyed, or sad, but then let it go. How did I finally learn to stop dwelling on things and wallowing excessively? I DO NOT KNOW. My best guess is that all the effort I’ve put into mindfulness, seeing the good in situations, and turning away negative thoughts became second nature after a lot of repetition. Dang, I wish I could have gotten there sooner, but that’s my path!

Here’s an example. Today we were looking forward to picking up Hermee the Jeep and towing him to the Cooper Lake South Sulphur Unit State Park (quite a mouthful) behind Seneca the motorhome. Do you see a Jeep in this picture?

Yep, the towing equipment wouldn’t be done until 4 pm, way too late for us to drive 4 hours and arrive in daylight. It turned out the scheduled technician had a death in the family. Well, I was irritated for one minute, then just made sure we have enough food, and looked forward to the weekend anyway. That guy’s family is more important than having two vehicles. We will get Hermee on our way back.

It’s harder to be negative, too, when you’re looking at life from a wider perspective. Hanging around with nature so much, and working to understand horses and dogs has helped drive home the perspective I need. I remember the world does not revolve around me, I’m part of a bigger universe, and pouting or weeping won’t stop the cycle of life, death, and rebirth. It’s so much better (at least for me) to just sit back and watch the show, tending to matters that are within my ability to control (my own actions).

The fewer expectations I have of those around me, the more at peace I become. And this lets me truly enjoy the goodness and kindness that pours in from the family and friends who care. And they’re the ones that count and bring joy, even in hard times.

Um, anyway, yeah, we have driven to the park we accidentally drove to a few months ago. It’s more wintry in north Texas than at home, but I think I’ll have lots of fun walking around this weekend. The weather should be pleasant.

With no Jeep to get me to trailheads, I’ll get some good walking in. And if it rains, I have loads of knitting and writing to do. It’s all good. It’s weirdly stress free other than concerns for some family health issues. I can’t fix it by worrying, though, so I’ll keep sending out good intentions and doing whatever concrete things I can to be helpful.

And, here are some plants and vultures.

How do you deal with negative feelings? Is it easier or harder as you age?

Is it bad luck not to be superstitious?

Are you superstitious?

If so, that may explain a few things. I’m not lucky either. Probably because I don’t believe in luck.

Oh look, some lucky vetch! It IS a pretty plant, which just started blooming.

I’m not superstitious. I’m all evidence based. I’m pretty sure whether I walk under a ladder or not won’t cause the karmic winds to shift and bring bad juju my way. Even if it did matter, I’m not to get all worked up about it.

I may not be lucky, but I felt privileged to enjoy today’s sunrise.

But hey, I’m very happy with my life and enjoy finding the good in whatever comes my way. You can learn from everything, as my friend Sara was telling me today. So even bad “luck” has its usefulness.

It’s Tuesday, so we had horse lessons. it was a spectacularly beautiful day, and both Apache and Aragorn did well. Even the parts that were challenging taught us, and Sara and I learned from each other, too. It’s great going to lessons together.

I’m making some real and tangible progress working with Apache on calming down when he wants to rush ahead or gets worried. Tarrin’s been helping me develop tools that may well help both me and my horse!

Poor Droodles is making slow progress in his rehab. He’s all a-flutter about lady horses, and is slowly getting better from his severe pain. We still don’t know what happened, but his right side was a mess. I hope he keeps improving.

Sometimes You Just Need a Listener

Today I needed to get some things off my chest so I could move on past them and get back to my “normal” fairly balanced frame of mind. I’m very lucky that I was able to have a couple of Zoom chats and a couple of Messenger chats that set me back on an even keel.

I just needed to talk things through in a safe, nonjudgmental space. We all need friends to listen to us when we need to vent, even when we’re a little off base or even a little wrong. The listeners let you hear yourself, ask helpful questions for you to ponder, and allow you to gain a better perspective on whatever is bugging you.

By this evening, after a nice ride on a mostly calm horse (mentally thanking my supportive equestrian friends), cooking a tasty dinner for the menfolk, and zoning out knitting, I feel refreshed and able to cope with whatever challenges come my way. Woo hoo!

Most of them probably won’t see this, but I’d like to thank these friends for lifting me up between the weekend and today:

Alice
Barbara
Nancy S
Barbara
Connie
Kathie
Lynn
Phyllis
Anita
Martha
Jay
Pamela
Avery, Sara, and Tracee (for horse support)

I even got to be a bit of a listener for Pamela and Martha, too. One of the best things about good friends is that they can take turns being the helper and the helped. My high school friend group also does that for each other. It’s a good feeling all around.

When Goldie was sad, Lee cheered her up.

If someone has helped you get through a rough spot, be sure to thank them, too!