Sue Ann (Suna) Kendall

Slow News Day, Featuring Creatures of the Sky

I may have done less today than I have any day since visiting my dad and just sitting around with him. I got enough movement in, but barely. Every time I went to go outside, a band of showers passed through, but that’s okay, because the clouds were pretty. I’ll miss beach clouds.

Luckily, I got on a roll with the ole technical writing, so I got a lot done as I looked outside at rain. I enjoy those breaks I take to help with eye strain. I looked up one and there, practically motionless outside my window was a beautiful osprey. I guess it was the same one I saw before, but it was so close I could see its feathers.

Looking east. No osprey picture available since I was working.

I had plans to go see the Barbie movie, but we are now going tomorrow, since tickets are half off. That sounds good to me, so instead I finished last night’s movie and watched two more.

My “cinema” friends like Anita will probably enjoy picking out themes and cinematic techniques in the documentary I watched about two women who fell in love in a concentration camp and found each other afterwards. Nelly and Nadine (also the film’s name) were very interesting women, and the super 8 home movies they made showed glimpses of a 50s gay and lesbian world few knew about. I was proud that I made it through the concentration camp parts.

I promised creatures of the sky. Here’s a 27th floor bird grasshopper.

I then switched gears and saw Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret, which was as good as I’d hoped it would be. The movie was set at very close to the time I was Margaret’s age, so everything was eerily familiar. The sets were 70s fun.

I couldn’t find the other movie I was looking for, so I watched Somewhere in Queens. The New York Italian culture is like visiting a foreign land to me, but I enjoyed glimpsing into Ray Romano’s vision.

These guys enjoyed peanuts again. I had three at once.

I guess I’ve gotten enough out of Amazon Prime on this trip. I wish I could use it more at home. Bandwidth. Ugh.

By the way, I haven’t been eating out. I’ve made myself weird dinners out of the supplies Lee and I bought when we got here. I’d sure be cheap to feed if I lived alone, since in addition to cheese, I could live off Tasty Bite curry packages, rice side dishes with vegetables thrown in, hummus, and Progresso soup. Throw in cans of tuna and I’m set.

More than you wanted to know, but it was a slow Suna news day.

You Don’t Have to Be in Texas to Overheat

Since I’ve been enjoying the solo part of my stay in Myrtle Beach, I’ve been doing my best to stay in shape, no matter how tempting lolling around in my room knitting and watching movies might be.

But if I stayed inside I’d miss all the flowers.

Since Lee left, I’ve been heading to the hotel gym and walking as fast as I can while the treadmill goes up and down. I hate when it goes to 9. But I zip along and burn those calories and log those miles. I’m not letting anyone see me to sit-ups, so I save that for in my room. This should at least keep my aerobic and core stuff in okay shape for trying to get back on the horses. I’ll miss a couple of horse events, but I don’t want to push them, either.

Anyway, today I decided to walk outside. After all, it was “only” 90 degrees outside and there was a breeze. So, I went all the way down the boardwalk, at least as far as I’ve ever been. About when I hit the one-mile mark, I realized I was sweating a lot (I’m still not used to the fact that I sweat now, but it’s better than the alternative). By the time I turned around, I was wishing I hadn’t walked so far or that I’d brought money for a beverage.

But, I had no option but to keep going, after a little rest in the shade. I did enjoy some of the improvements they’ve made to the boardwalk and the landscaping. It’s looking a LOT nicer now. They’ve even installed “photo ops” in the little places where there used to be homeless folks hanging out. I’m hoping they found housing or alternate places for those people to hang out.

It’s a lot less crowded this weekend, too, since school is starting or had already started in much of the areas around here. So, other than feeling overheated, I enjoyed the walk very much.

I did make it back to the Ocean Enclave and quickly downed two glasses of water. The pool bar was very pleasant, since it was shady and the breeze was just great. Well, it was pleasant for people sitting there. Sarah was really hot trying to serve a never-ending stream of people wanting their fruity drinks.You can make good money in the summer doing bartending, but it isn’t easy being perky while never stopping.

I enjoyed my reward beverage, which was lime juice, lemon guide, ice and lime vodka. Let me tell you, that was refreshing! By the time I’d seen enough preseason football, I was feeling fine, other t han being covered by sand that had stuck to my sweaty legs.

I had to fight through this to get to the elevator. Ugh. Lots of arrivals.

The moral to this boring story is that you need to stay hydrated if you are going for walks in the sun and it’s hot, even when it’s just normal heat.

I was happy to find sweet everlasting in the wildflower area.

Back to reading, knitting, and eating cheese. I love eating whatever the heck I want, which seems to end up being cheese.

Myrtle Beach versus Cameron

I promised someone that I’d write a more cheerful blog post today, and since I’ve been having such a nice day today, that won’t be hard. I’ve been mulling over how to share some of my observations about this part of the world versus where I live, and I think I’ve got a plan now. Let’s go, as I’d say in a training video.

What’s the Same in MB and Cameron

This is the easiest comparison. The main best thing about both Myrtle Beach, South Carolina and Cameron, Texas, is that all you have to do is sit around and you’ll meet someone interesting. I’ve made great friends in Cameron by just going to a restaurant, bar, or meeting and chatting with whoever is next to em, and that’s certainly the same at Myrtle Beach. Here at this condo place, you know you have something in common with everyone there, because you all either own or are considering owning a week or two of timeshare, that great business investment (ha ha). Networking skills are useful here and in Cameron for sure.

Just this visit, I’ve met Steve, Bill, and their families, who were so welcoming and hilarious. Plus I’ve chatted with fun people in activities, as I’ve shared, and all I need to do is sit at the bar and nice folks will show up. It’s really fun to have people come up and tell you they enjoyed talking to you the day before, or even better, you find someone you have all sorts of weird things in common with and want to be FFFs forever. That was my afternoon today and the lovely woman I met.

Same picture from yesterday, of a Ferris wheel

Also both places are diverse in many ways. I love how many shades of skin tone and different languages I hear in both places. There are indeed things that are improving in much of the US.

What’s Different in Myrtle and Cameron

And now for my observations about what’s different.

The birds are very different. We have lots more birds in Cameron this time of year than in Myrtle. I’ve seen very few shore birds, just mainly my buddies the fish crows, nighthawks, ospreys, and pelicans. Well, of course there are pigeons and seagulls, but I expected more. No egrets.
Vape shops are the new pancake houses. Last year we were counting pancake restaurants, because there were so many, but this year I was amazed at how many vape/smoking/dispensary places there are. If you need a hookah fix, you’re covered in Myrtle. I guess they must have passed some law that encouraged all these businesses , which have expanded greatly in the past year. (See maps at end of blog.)
Candy shops exist. Wow, there are so many candy shops here. There’s a lot of ice cream, too. I mean, Cameron has places to get ice cream and año cones, but wow, you don’t have to go far for a sugar fix at Myrtle.
There aren’t as many dogs. I don’t see anywhere near as many dogs in Myrtle as I do in Cameron, or even in Hilton Head. Of course, there aren’t any beach dogs here. There aren’t any in Hilton Head this time of year. And no dogs run free in the parts of Myrtle where I’ve been.
Rain happens. It keeps raining here! What’s up with that? Still no rain since June at our house, though some folks I know have seen a shower or two.
There are very different noises. In Cameron you hear the train from most of the town, and from the ranch you hear a lot of loud pickup trucks and gunfire. In Myrtle it’s endless helicopters full of tourists, They pass by at least every minute or so during the day unless it’s storming. You also get sirens when there are beach issues, whistles from lifeguards (especially when a storm is coming), and the fireworks that some tourist place sets off every night. Every night. I’m glad the dogs aren’t here.
There are way more Ferris wheels in Myrtle. Way.
The weather reports are very different. In Cameron you see what counties are under various degrees of drought and where the current wildfires are. In Myrtle, you get the tide reports and fishing outlook. I know the name of certain buoys in the ocean now.

Last night’s storm caused much lifeguard whistling. I saw water spouts.

Yes, now that I’ve gotten a better frame of mind, I’m enjoying my time alone. I’ve enjoyed many movies and a weird television show about Australian flowers. Every day I’ve been going to the gym and making sure I walk really fast for at least two miles. I want to be sure I’m still in good aerobic shape when I get home to the horses. That does involve a lot of sweating, which is how I ended up at the beach bar chatting with various vacationers. I wanted to dry off and have a cold beverage!

This is from last night. Sarah is tired.

And of course I’m knitting, I’ll share my latest progress, which adds many more hot days to the temperature blanket. I ended the previous row on July 13, and we already had two days over 105°. It’s the saddest part of the blanket!

And I’m reading a lot in the book about Florida history I was given. I’ll tell you what, I’m no longer “proud” to be descended from early Florida residents, even though I realize some of them were forced to come there. Those conquistadors were pretty nasty folks.

Thanks for showing up, kind readers. You’re all appreciated.

Mental Illness Runs in Families

Time for more of that honesty that people either like or have become tired of lately.

Sometimes life feels like an unpleasant amusement park ride. I hate Ferris wheels.

I’ve been dealing with some painful consequences of mental illness for the past few weeks, both my own and the issues of others. I wouldn’t wish some of the struggles I’ve seen on anyone. It’s particularly hard, because it seems to come from innate struggles (along with “nurture” problems, many of which stem from being raised by people whose mental illnesses caused them to inflict pain on those around them). And I got so down that I managed to forget what caused it until a friend reminded me there’s a name for what I deal with.

Somewhere among my mother’s maternal ancestors, some powerful genes that make life hard for those who inherited them got wedged firmly in the family line. I don’t know how far back it goes, or which part of my grandmother’s family passed the issues on to her and her siblings, but wow, it left a strong legacy.

Moonrise in the night. Like a light in a dark time.

I’m going to say this: I love my children, but I’m sorry that I passed on the tendency to have severe depression, bipolar, learning disabilities, and narcissism on to them. I am truly grateful that they are not extending this line forward, even though the good parts (intelligence, artistic gifts, and the ability to write well) won’t move forward to future generations, either. That’s difficult to say but seeing how my family inflict pain on each other and how deeply it affects the two of us plagued by RSD (Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria) I just don’t want it to continue.

I don’t blame any member of my mother’s family for behaving how they do and making the choices they make. A combination of inherited instability and “abuse” (for lack of a better word) can make people do weird things to try to bring peace into their lives. My sister has cut off the rest of her biological family from her life. I do understand how, from her perspective, it’s what she needs to do, but I can still wish she’d gotten the help she needed and enabled the family who love her, warts and all, to be a part of her life.

The view from my Rapunzel Tower at sunset

On the other hand, those of us who have had to try to find ways to deal with how members of my mom’s family treated us are probably better off ending that pattern. My insane drive to not be rejected or abandoned has led me to try way too hard to please people who can’t be pleased, and that’s not helpful to any of us. Anyway, the struggle is real, and I’m back on track to managing my own issues better again, and I wish everyone else well as they deal with their issues.

I’d actually gotten pretty darn good at not blaming myself for every single thing people close to me say, do, or seem to do in my messed-up brain. I just slipped, and as I was trying to express this morning when talking to a therapist friend, you can intellectually know there will be setbacks in mental health recovery, but your limbic system still gets all out of whack. Repeat after me: other people’s actions are their responsibility.

Dealing with all this while holed up in a tiny room like a short-haired Rapunzel in her tower is not ideal. But I can always find ways to cope. At least I can watch Amazon Prime without worrying Lee about using up all our bandwidth. So, I watched three nice movies yesterday and that helped a lot! I watched Air, 80 for Brady, and Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris. All movies with strong women who made me smile.

Plus, there’s always random people you meet, along with the sunrises, sunsets, birds, and bats. This Rapunzel really isn’t trapped in her tower at all.

Do We Ever Grow Up?

I’m beginning to think the answer to this question is a decisive “no.” I’m darned disappointed in myself these days, because I find myself falling into old patterns, forgetting lessons I thought I’d learned, and pretty much pissing off people I’d prefer to not piss off. And I sit here trying to work but with chest pains and a giant eye tic. Old patterns bring old results.

Like a moth, I need to stop flying into flames that aren’t the right kind.

And then, of course, rather than being gentle with myself and remembering that we always have ups and downs, I’m angry and disappointed with myself for being so needy and such an annoyance. Then I go on to remind myself that, for goodness’ sake, my little emotional turmoil and angst is not important in the grand scheme of things, and certainly not the responsibility of anyone other than me to deal with.

There are plenty of areas I can enjoy and not bother anyone. Like fish crows.

So, this blog is my attempt to remind myself that my issues are mine to deal with, and that asking for support or reassurance is not always a good idea. There’s a time and place for everything, including getting help with things I’m worried about. I’m really sorry that I’ve been a pain in the butt to people I consider in my inner circle.

I need to grow up!

Today I’m making a strong effort to remember my boundaries and respect the boundaries of others, to keep my inner circle small and trustworthy, and to stop thinking I’m a part of things that are truly outside of my realm. That last one keeps biting me on the butt, like when I thought because I was part of the ownership team of a company, I was entitled to know more about what was going on than I actually am. Today I thought I needed to take care of details about the vacation rental I own but realized that’s not for me to worry about. I just stick my nose into everything when I’m not careful! Time to be more careful and stop being annoying. And for sure, no one needs me to provide updates about anything.

Why am I whining when I have this nice place to hang out? I can be a doofus sometimes!

I’ve enjoyed lecturing myself today. I think it helps to write it down, and by sharing it on the blog, I think I’ll be more likely to hold myself accountable and do keep doing the things I need to go to get back to loving myself, staying out of things I have no business getting into, and most important, remembering I’m not the only one with issues so it behooves me to treat others the way I’d like to be treated.

In other words, it’s time to grow up. Again.

(I’m fine, don’t need advice or professional help (I have it), and just hope people who care will help keep me accountable.)

A Monday’s a Monday, No Matter Where You Are

And today is Tuesday! I didn’t manage to get a blog post up yesterday, because I was just, as my mom used to say, “too pooped to pop” in the evening. It’s not that I did anything all that exciting, but I did the part of my work that takes a lot of mental energy, training.

Now, I’m both a technical writer and a technical trainer, so I have the skills. And I love to do training. It’s so rewarding to get people up and running with software, hardware, or heck, even knitting. I enjoy interacting with people, getting them to relax, and helping them individually. It’s just that it takes a lot out of an introvert to actually DO it. Thus, after two classes and a couple of individual sessions yesterday, I just needed to stare at a wall and go to sleep.

Or I could stare at the ocean, which for much of today looked like a gray curtain.

I feel way better today and have already been writing and getting stuff done while Lee packs up to drive back to Texas. It’s been stormy this morning, so he’s waiting a bit to start driving. He just loves doing this, so I’m wishing him well, while at the same time looking forward to flying home (if planes aren’t as weird on me as they have been for so many folks this year).

It’s been stormy, cloudy, and sunny so far today, and that was all before 10 am.

In between training sessions, Lee and I drove up to the first town in North Carolina, Calabash, where we’ve been before. It is an extra-cute little town that still has a lot of fishing boats, so you get very fresh seafood in its restaurants. The one I like best doesn’t open until 4pm on Mondays, so we ate at the one with the most annoying (but fun, in a way) birds, instead.

Boat-tailed grackles (the one on the right is a female)

We got enough food that I’ll have lots of leftover shrimp that I’ll peel the breading from and add to my highly creative solo meals for the next week or so. We gamely fought off the grackles and seagulls, while sort of enjoying their antics at the same time. At least I got to look at a marsh and some boats, so I was happy. The whole outing only took two hours, which was fine, since I had to teach a class from 5-6 pm anyway (it was scheduled for Central Time). All was well.

Laughing gulls waiting for us to leave so they could inspect our plates.

It’s back to my “normal” working from a condo schedule for a while now. I do my best to fit in working out in the gym (treadmill) and sitting in the sun a little while every day, with a visit to the sports bar to chat with the friendly bartenders and customers in the evening. And oh yeah…I can watch streaming television to my heart’s content. I don’t even know what shows I’ll watch,

One More Nature Day

Today was Lee’s last weekend day here with me, so we took advantage of having the car to head over to Myrtle Beach State Park, which is the only undisturbed beach woods in this county. It’s really lovely and special.

I was amazed at how many different types of hardwood trees were in the woods. Plus some were huge. I know the biggest magnolias I ever saw were there. Plus giant pines, sycamores, hickories, and oaks. That’s nowhere near all. It’s a great woods.

I enjoyed the ferns, mushrooms, fungi, and other understory plants, as well. What was weird, though, was I only heard two birds. There has been a noticeable lack of bird sightings on this trip.

I did get to see something fun other than plants when we went to the little pond. Not only did I get a great butterfly to pose on a pickerel weed flower, but I found a sweet little green tree frog blending in with the reeds. That’s our Master Naturalist chapter mascot. Aww.

At the end of the trail was the Big Oak, where we had to take photos. Of course.

We headed over to the beach area, where at least I found some birds, mostly pigeons and crows…but hey, go ruddy turnstones!

We sat and enjoyed the beach for a while, then went to Michael’s to get me some more pens to do coloring, which had helped me this week. I finished a design (after fixing its typos) using the subtle colors I’d thrown in a bag for journaling, but I needed perkier colors.

One thing we’ve enjoyed this week is walking on the beach after the crowds die down. Well, Lee stands there and listens to the waves, and I walk. Tonight it was really pretty at sunset.

Now it’s time to read my Florida book and get ready for work.

Sculptural Delights Plus Natural Beauty Equals a Good Saturday

Ah, It’s good to have a day off for fun and education. Today we enjoyed sleeping in a bit, then followed through with our plan to go back to scenic Brookgreen Gardens to see the new exhibit that was getting installed this week. We ended up seeing two new exhibits and lots of living wonders as well!

First off, we went to the beautiful butterfly exhibit, which was closed when we were at the Low Country Zoo last week. It’s always fun there, because there are beautiful flowers and water features in addition to all the butterflies.

They have different butterflies at different times of year, too, depending on what they have hatching. I can’t tell you what any of these are, because I don’t want to put them on iNaturalist. They aren’t wild. But they sure are pretty!

After the butterflies, we hopped back over to see the red wolves again, hoping maybe they’d be up to something this time. We lucked out, and while the female was just resting in the sun, the male came out of his giddy hole, walked around, then rolled and stretched for us. I guess that was enough of a show for him, because he went right back into his shady spot. We were lucky to see this!

We drove back to the main part of the gardens to see the first exhibit, which was the 90th National Sculpture Society awards exhibition. There were 42 works of art in the exhibit, which was narrows down from a couple of hundred entries. Only a small subset of these sculptures will be winners and exhibited in the NSS gallery in New York City later in the year.

We really enjoyed looking at the variety of entries and reading the stories the artists shared about their work. There were a lot of COVID themed works, and others with universal themes that really touched my heart.

I listened to a talk about some of the works by the curator of the museum, Robin Salmon. That was quite a privilege.

We went back to the same little restaurant we ate at last week, and had a good time visiting with the birds once again.

We also enjoyed lots of nature. There was a group of plants that was literally dancing with dragonflies. We must have watched them for five minutes, along with another couple. There were blue, orange, and yellow ones. Some of my photos have at least five in them!

We also got to see the resident alligator family (and hear them). First we saw the mother gator, who was hanging out in a small pond, then we saw two of her babies in a larger pond, hanging out with turtles. All the while we could hear other alligators nearby, but I decided not to be a dumb Master Naturalist and go look for them.

We ended up finding the other exhibit I was looking for, which was of Shona art from Zimbabwe. They used interesting stones, and I especially liked one that was completely different looking when it was polished versus unpolished. Many of the artists made people whose faces and body parts were polished, but their clothing was unpolished, and it was quite striking. I completely forgot to take any photos, but here’s a sample from the exhibition web page.

It’s just so lush and green at Brookgreen Gardens. I’m going to hold on to the image of all the green grass and the huge oaks when I go back to my crispy home.

When we got home, we napped, then headed down to the bar, where Kevin the bartender/history professor was kind enough to give me a pre-publication copy of his book on early Florida history, La Florida. I can’t wait to read it. I love an academic book with humor thrown in every so often, and I appreciate his perspective on the Spanish.

I also have the book from the NSS exhibit to enjoy, as well. It has interesting biographies of the sculptors.

Lee and I sure had a good day. And we had smoked salmon for dinner. That’s right. Indulged ourselves.

Friends and Acquaintances and Healing

Hello from a land of clouds, rainbows, and surprises. A week in Myrtle Beach has passed and I’m still in awe of how green and rainy it is, especially compared to another 105° day at home. Blurgh.

My mind is still on things back home. Some folks have disappointed me and I’ve disappointed some. I’m very grateful to the people who’ve been going out of their way to help me and my family, though. There aren’t enough words, even though I’m a writer, to express my gratitude to our ranch family.

I’ve needed support and diversion this week. Thank goodness I have friends to talk to, with the magic of Zoom. Just having friends who will listen and support me without trying to “fix” things is invaluable. My Friday morning buddies, plus work support, got me through the day. Hooray for kindness!

Friends remind you you’re beautiful, even if you’re a weed growing among fancy cultivars

So, after work, Lee took me to the outlet mall to look for a particular shoe. Naturally, I enjoyed talking to the people who worked at the stores. It’s so rewarding to see a tired salesperson smile after you treat them nicely. The shoes didn’t work out, but I came home with a little purse and pansy pajamas. Pansies! Woo! They are interesting colors and not so long that they drag the ground. Bonus.

Shopping on what turned out to be “tax free weekend” wore Lee out, so we went to the sports bar again. I’ve tried not to spend all week at the bar, so I was glad to go get another old fashioned. I was happy to see Kevin, the bartender who’s an expert in Florida history, was there. It turns out he knows the family of my childhood pediatrician. huh!

We spent a nice time (really) talking to obnoxious* Steve, Bill, and their friend Patrick about books and our histories and such. It’s rewarding to meet new folks and get to know them, which is why I’ve enjoyed this condo over the years. People are truly fascinating, and you can always find things in common with new acquaintances. I need to remember this when I get down about the state of the world.

Sarah D says bye to Steve, since he’s going home.

I’m feeling much better, because we have a new author to read (Stan Comforti, a former federal agent) and will have bartender Kevin’s new book to read soon. Who knew how many writers and avid readers we’d run into?

The world seems much smaller and less scary when you take the time to talk to people and get to know them. I need to remember that.

Myrtle Beach in a nutshell. Pelicans and one of the ubiquitous helicopters.

And even in Condo World there are Nature sightings. We went out at dusk and saw dozens of bats and nighthawks flying right by us. We enjoyed it with the folks next door, who seemed thrilled as we were.

Watch the bats!

* I told Steve I’d call him that rather than a**hole.

Swamp and River Day

Every time we come to South Carolina we make sure to go on the Waccamaw River cruise. We were going to go tomorrow, but the forecast calls for rain. So I took the afternoon off and we went today.

We were surprised to see the odd little zoo that used to be on the road to the launch area was gone. No more zebras. All I saw were more wild turkeys. The zoo owners were getting very old and having trouble finding workers, so the animals went to another zoo. The peacocks just moved over to the boat area.

As usual I took a lot of pictures of plants and animals, including some I hadn’t seen there before. I just love swamp plants. And I keep finding new (to me) dragonflies, too.

Thanks for bearing with me on all my nature photos. I know they are endless. Anyway, off we went on the tour. We sat in back to be far away from the captain spiel. There weren’t many birds, just a blue heron and lots of ospreys. We saw two ospreys enjoying their fish catches together.

There weren’t many turtles and we only saw one alligator (I spotted it). That’s because there was a very light rain, which was quite pleasant. I didn’t sweat at all!

I just enjoyed looking at the cypress, tupelo, oak, and pine trees, along with many flowers. It was a wonderful reminder of what the world looks like when left alone. It also helped me remember how small we humans and our problems are.

We drove around and looked at housing developments and such, then had dinner at the nice German-Austrian restaurant near the condo. I had cabbage rolls. They were huge.

I forgot to mention that Bella the dog was still there at the boat place.

We actually didn’t have to leave the condo to see cool wildlife today, though. An osprey was flying around the building right up close to us, and we got to watch a pod of dolphins cruising in the ocean, right from the balcony. Add all the pelicans and fish crows, and that’s good nature watching!

Ok, now send someone you like a text!