Surviving the Spotlight

Have you ever performed on stage or given a speech?

Um. Yes. I probably should have studied acting. I enjoy performing very much, and have since I was a child. I like being someone else, whether doing music or speaking. Most of my speaking has been teaching or training. I enjoy it. Perhaps that’s why I’m a corporate trainer and spent much of my life singing in choruses and harmony groups.

Still, I prefer a friendly audience. Usually that’s not an issue. I mostly sang to friends or people I had things in common with, and I just make the people I’m training into a friendly audience with my relentless friendliness. Who IS that woman?

It’s been a lot harder lately for me to get out in public and “perform.” I admit that the reason I’m so “on” at parties is that it’s more like fake performance Suna is there, not real anxiety-ridden Suna.

I succeeded tonight in doing okay at the Master Naturalist holiday party. I was probably overly outgoing, but I had fun taking pictures and being silly. I’d been really nervous beforehand. I think it’s because I haven’t ventured into a group of people who aren’t all close to me since…October I think.

But it went well and I was pleased with the fun, good food, and gift swap (I got a cool hand-carved whale!). Whew. I did it. I’m tired now, like any introvert is after mingling, but I feel ok. People were kind to me, too.

You’ve all been very kind after yesterday’s dumping of some of my issues. I do want to say we will have enough land for horse pastures; just not how I’d wanted it. I wasn’t dry clear. Thank you all for caring.