What’s All This Fuss about Butts (Bums)?

Yes, this is not my normal topic, but it’s something I’ve been noticing lately: there are a lot more depictions of, advice about, and media coverage about people’s rear ends these days. Is anyone in the US (don’t know if these are everywhere) tired of looking at that family of bears who are obsessed with having clean hineys?

Apparently, I am not alone in my opinions of these guys.

Then there are all the advertisements about products to make your poop less stinky, like “Poo-Pourri“- they are all into the poop puns, too. I’m mighty impressed with the Yule Log. They also have hilarious commercials, where some lady in a fancy blue dress sits in bathroom stalls and talks about when you GO, nudge nudge, wink wink.

Ha ha, I get it.
Dookie

I almost forgot the Squatty Potty, for those of you with poor poop posture. You know, it’s the “#1 way to #2” and it’s email list sign-up asks you to “join the movement.” I do believe it works, according to people I know, but I own a stool if I need to assume the position. I found an article in AdWeek about a war with Squatty Potty and Poo-Pourri, but I’m not subscribing to learn more. Oh hell, I have now found that you can buy toys of…get this…Dookie the Pooping Unicorn, the Squatty Potty mascot. ARGH. This is not something I’d put an order in for, or for which I would put in an order (grammar).

Not that kind of stool, Suna.

You know, when I was younger, people didn’t have many conversations about poop, unless they were dealing with babies or were close elderly friends talking about their going too much or too little. You didn’t hear it mentioned, even in Metamucil or Pepto-Bismol commercials. You had to sorta know what they were for. I can remember wondering why stools needed softening; shouldn’t they be hard? Somehow in the last year or two, that social taboo has been blasted away.

However, poop humor is universal, I guess. Even I find some of the ad copy groan-worthy but funny.

But Wait, There’s More

Oh, my.

We can blame the Harmon Brothers for all this! Boo! They are the geniuses behind many of these hilarious products, and are apparently a fun place to work. Maybe I’ll buy their book (2018, so it all started before then).

I can imagine it must be a lot like being in the fourth-grade lunchroom when you’re in one of their marketing copy-writing meetings.

“Now, Heather, ‘go’ over that ‘pile’ of defecation-related ‘crap’ and find us some ‘nuggets’ for the next ad!” I imagine it’s just like that.

Why I Wrote This Post

No doubt, you are wondering why I spent an hour of my life writing about poop puns. It’s because I actually bought one of those items with the pun-filled ads, and I was happily surprised to see it wasn’t a load of crap! Heh heh.

What is THAT hanging off my toilet (and it’s true, I don’t have any Poo-Pourri, so there’s Febreeze.

Why it’s a TUSHY, of course! The marketing team for this product must really have a blast, because they can’t avoid a poop pun for more than a sentence or two. Here, you see a typical email ad.

They even send email from “Poo-dolph” their holiday reindeer. They really, really want you to get off your butt and order a load of these items. And their website is even worse than these ads (or, better, depending on your sense of humor and mental age).

WARNING WARNING DANGER DANGER
Please do not just type in what you think might be the website of this company, especially if there are sensitive folks like children or people who don’t like looking at certain types of content. It’s “hellotushy.com.” ICK!

Where was I before I went to that really, really wrong website? Oh yeah, I clicked on a Facebook ad for their bidet spa product, or whatever they call it, and ordered the basic model of their stuff.

I recommend signing your a** up for a dose of high-quality humor every so often.

It sat around the office bathroom for a long time, because I was not about to try to install it myself, because it involves hooking the deal up to the water line. CC did it yesterday and informed me it’s quite easy. One hint, though, don’t try it out without someone sitting on it, or you get a clean wall.

There’s a nozzle that sprays water, and a little controller. It works just great. (our water is a little yellow, sorry about that)

It turns out to be a pretty cool product, and costs way less than an actual bidet. I might get one for my other bathroom. By the way, I just got a pink one to be weird and go with my office color scheme. There are nice white ones. You can also get one with warm water, and many accessories, like a portable one (it’s a spray bottle, duh), their version of the Squatty Potty, and even their own toilet paper.

A recent ad. By the way, you can order a butt-load of them (5) for a discount. One for your whole house AND for gifts!

So, that’s probably enough about what amuses me and what’s on my office toilet. I am not paid by any of the companies mentioned in this post. I just find them funny, and certainly not your average products or industries.

As they say, enjoy the go! Funny poo stories, more products, or other reactions are always welcome. Just don’t go to that off-topic website.

Author: Sue Ann (Suna) Kendall

The person behind The Hermits' Rest blog and many others. I'm a certified Texas Master Naturalist and love the nature of Milam County. I manage technical writers in Austin, help with Hearts Homes and Hands, a personal assistance service, in Cameron, and serve on three nonprofit boards. You may know me from La Leche League, knitting, iNaturalist, or Facebook. I'm interested in ALL of you!

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