I can forgive a lot of things in my friends. I don’t expect them to be perfect or nice or generous. What I appreciate the most is that my real friends like me the way I am and don’t put me down.
It’s lovely, just as it is.
I never want any more “friendships” with conditions on them, where I have to act in ways that don’t feel genuine, or that are based on what I can do for them. I’m fine with that.
And I will remind myself that, with very few exceptions, your coworkers are not your friends. They are people you are cordial with to make getting your work done bearable. (Bear in mind that I married a coworker (twice), became a business partner with a coworker, and still call a former coworker my dearest friend.)
Former coworker and dog friend.
I just need some people in my life I can be myself around without having to walk on eggshells or pretend I’m someone I’m not. And I’m very uninterested in hearing how I should behave, why people don’t like me, or that I’m not woke/unwoke enough. Those folks aren’t in the friend zone anymore.
Bunny is becoming a friend
I don’t need many close friends for a happy life. I have just enough. And interacting with my informal friend groups and like/minded acquaintances can let me have lots of fun—I just have to be more guarded in the larger circle. That’s probably true for most of us.
Suna’s rambling again! I better hide!
And I still care deeply for so, so many people I don’t know well or who may not think all that much of me. I just care about folks.
More storms today. Just wind again, though
I am fortunate to have a few very accepting friends, though, and not all of them are dogs and horses! Thanks, friends!
Today I needed to get some things off my chest so I could move on past them and get back to my “normal” fairly balanced frame of mind. I’m very lucky that I was able to have a couple of Zoom chats and a couple of Messenger chats that set me back on an even keel.
Sun, rain, and clouds this morning.
I just needed to talk things through in a safe, nonjudgmental space. We all need friends to listen to us when we need to vent, even when we’re a little off base or even a little wrong. The listeners let you hear yourself, ask helpful questions for you to ponder, and allow you to gain a better perspective on whatever is bugging you.
By this evening, after a nice ride on a mostly calm horse (mentally thanking my supportive equestrian friends), cooking a tasty dinner for the menfolk, and zoning out knitting, I feel refreshed and able to cope with whatever challenges come my way. Woo hoo!
Most of them probably won’t see this, but I’d like to thank these friends for lifting me up between the weekend and today:
Alice
Barbara
Nancy S
Barbara
Connie
Kathie
Lynn
Phyllis
Anita
Martha
Jay
Pamela
Avery, Sara, and Tracee (for horse support)
I even got to be a bit of a listener for Pamela and Martha, too. One of the best things about good friends is that they can take turns being the helper and the helped. My high school friend group also does that for each other. It’s a good feeling all around.
When Goldie was sad, Lee cheered her up.
If someone has helped you get through a rough spot, be sure to thank them, too!
And if you get vexed, just look at some vetch and breathe. I did.
Something on your “to-do list” that never gets done.
I do have a to-do list. It’s my bullet journal. I get pleasure from checking off things I’ve done. Here’s a confession. There’s one thing I rarely even put on my list, because I hate doing it.
Looking at clouds during sunset rarely gets omitted.
Yes, I hate hanging my clothes back up in my closet. I have always hated this, since childhood.
There’s no reason for me to dislike it. I have a huge closet with windows and a fancy light fixture. But it piles up. Maybe admitting this will inspire me to get I. There, grab a stack of velvet hangers, and file my clothes where they belong. I should have space after recent purges. Maybe. (No, I’m not posting a photo of my closet.)
Enjoy some shiny leaves, instead.
I did get many items on my to-do list done today. I dutifully attended the Master Naturalist Board retreat and took notes. It’s always good to listen to the group’s ideas and get excited about possibilities for field trips and activities. Even though I wasn’t feeling well, I got through it. (Yeah, my health has me puzzled — my joints have started hurting in my hands, and my knees and back are unhappy with me for no reason I can figure out. Plus I suddenly have ringing in my ears, which has never bothered me before. Time for a checkup I guess.)
Linda Jo found an excellent insect during our break, during which she and I looked for flowers. Naturally.
After checking that item off, I took the horses over to Tarrin’s for an unscheduled visit. (Make that “we” since Lee drove.)
Apache was the easier horse to deal with. Tarrin and her hoof consultant picked out some boots for him to wear while his abscess heals. I’d say they cost more than any shoes I ever bought, except I have some really nice cowboy boots.
I was relieved that she got him to pick up both front feet to get cleaned and treated. He let her put the boots on, too. They will stay until Monday, when the farrier comes. It took him a while to adjust, but I think this will help him. Now he just needs to shed all that long hair. He’s so hot!
They will never be this clean again. They are also reflective!
Drew was acting less weird today, but I was very glad to get her to look at him. He just hasn’t been himself with all that snapping and kicking. Plus today he had blood on his legs. He’s been getting into something!
Quickly, Tarrin figured out his neck hurt. He had a huge knot in it. No wonder he didn’t like being groomed or having his mane brushed. She worked hard on this neck, and even Lee could see him relaxing.
Push pushTwist twistThere are always helpful dogs.
She then had him stand on the special pads that are supposed to make him feel better. He kept pawing at them and sniffing them. We don’t know what that meant. But he seemed less tense and grouchy. I’m interested to see how he is tomorrow when I groom him and pay special attention to his neck.
Hmm. Let’s see if this works.
I sure am glad I have such a good trainer who cares about my animals. The horses have certainly benefited! Me, too!
I’d give her real flowers if I could. It’s Field Madder (Sherardia arvensis) and is tiny.
There’s a lot to be thankful for, even if I don’t get all my chores done every day. Those clothes are waiting patiently.
Today I was thankful for many interesting cloud formations.
The gift I want most in the world would be to repair my relationship with my older son and come to some kind of mutual acceptance of each other, just as we are. Understanding of perceived mistakes or failings on each of our parts is something we could do. I’d be willing to try. Anyone willing to help bring us back together would receive my eternal gratitude.
Foggy morning leads to melancholic musings
Well, that’s not something I foresee happening after five years. So I’ll add that the greatest gifts I do receive are friendship and acceptance. I think we all would like to feel accepted and like we fit in. I treasure my community of kind and open hearted friends who accept each other, warts and all.
Foggy bovine
Online friends count, too. So many of us would feel very isolated if it weren’t for our friends who are connected on social media, on video chats, and in blogs. Social media is NOT all bad.
Daily Bird
Well, there weren’t many birds out today, because it was so foggy and cold.
Chilly birds.
The highlight today was the reappearance of one of my favorites, the barred owl. I’ve read that barred owls and great horned owls don’t like to live together, so I was happy to hear one this morning. Hooray!
I like this question, because it ties in with what fun I’ve been having lately, including last night. In the past year or so since we started camping and I got in the habit of going outside to do some of my meditation, it’s become very clear to me that the woods bring me great joy.
The old willow tree by the spring in our woods.
I’ve had so many fantastic experiences in the woods these past months, where I find myself all alone with my heart swelling and a huge smile on my face. Yesterday when I heard the huge murmuration taking flight, when I found a nightjar sitting in a tree, gazing at the huge oaks and elms, watching deer and armadillo grazing with no fear. Ah.
I loved watching this doe earlier this year
Last night I had another magical woodland experience. I attended a solstice party at a home in the middle of a dense woods. I felt so at peace there from all the good energy and loamy scents.
Just a glimpse into the nighttime woods.
We wandered beautifully designed paths through the trees near the house, where there was gurgling water and other animal and bird habitat.
This may look like mud, but it’s part of the gurgling water that keeps our woodland happy.
We enjoyed a huge bonfire and honored the return of the light by gazing at the moon surrounded by a halo. It was wonderful to be in the woods with friends, since I’m usually alone. By the time the evening was over, I was practically oozing contentment. I’m glad I got a nice big dose of forest energy. I left with much more holiday spirits than when I arrived.
Nothing better than a good solstice fire.
When are you most happy?
Winter moon.
Yuletide blessings to all of you readers! Here are some bonus pictures for you!
Moon and treesMoon halo!Goldie enjoying the sun Fire shadowsMy bird habitatOur Osage Orange tree. Where the pileated woodpecker was. No cool holesRecent photos
A year ago? I figured the uncertainty and long parade of unexpected setbacks around me would continue. They did. I also figured I’d just stick to dealing with what I could control, and I was pretty successful at that. Honestly, with a pessimistic outlook like that, focusing on the moment and your own business is a good plan.
Twilight of the day, of the year, of this life. All good.
At this point last year I’d already concluded that nothing I do is going to change how people who once loved me treat me now, and that my best tactic is to love the people I love without any limits, just appropriate boundaries. That’s worked, too! Hmm, I’m reminded of the fictional dating service they had on Saturday Night Live called “Lowered Expectations.”
Cactus is living up to expectations!
I decided around this time a couple of years ago to drop expectations of how others will act and to step back from trying to get closer to people I care about. I just go out and be me. That’s truly worked out well, because I’ve felt more welcome and appreciated in my community since then.
I’ll go my own way, with a peaceful heart
I think I’ll keep it up, and keep enjoying the beauty around me and snatching up fun times as they occur. There will be more bouncy houses, I hope!
Speaking of fun, I had a nice brunch this morning with Pouri, and we got to talk a bit. Then I enjoyed an stress-free drive home, even in Dallas. Plano sure looks clean and tidy compared to Cameron. Quite a contrast!
It was also very sunny.
I’m glad to be back with my messy horses and barking dogs (one snoring).
Sleeping Harvey and my elbow.
Did I answer the question? I expected little change for me, personally, but lots around me. That is how it worked out.
Daily Bird
Today Merlin heard a kestrel! That made me happy, because I rarely see or hear them here on the Hermits’ Rest ranch, though I see one all the time down by my neighbor’s place. I guess individuals don’t have a large territory.
They sure are beautiful little birds. I’ve seen them catch food a couple of times and go back to their telephone or electric wires. I wonder what they say on before those were invented? (Trees)
Today I’m starting off with the birds, because even though I had limited bird time today, I got a lot of fun sights and sounds in.
I think the cardinals are posing. They’re everywhere, flapping and chirping.
The most dramatic sight was watching the red-tailed hawk get chased off her perch by a crow (I say “her” because the hawk is very large). I got some good photos and turned a couple of the live ones into little movies.
Just minding her business. I’mThe start More pestering Hawk is annoyed
The other birds, meanwhile were just all a-flutter. The Harris’s sparrows were really busy, but there were 8 other kinds in the mix. I also enjoyed a couple of wrens and house finch groups that weren’t at all shy. It was fun! But I had to leave.
Carolina wrenYet another cardinal These are pipitsHouse finchesShe wondered what I was doing
Babes?
I left home to go to Plano to see baby Ruby, who is actually a two-year-old chatterbox now. I also went to see Pouri and Elmira/Ellie, my Persian “sister” and bonus daughter. I miss them a lot, because they’ve always welcomed me and treated me so kindly. It feels so great to feel unconditional love!
I’m not that tall. My shoes have hidden heels I think.
I really enjoyed the party, because Ellie and Jimmy have such nice friends and families and wow, all the children there were so happy and fun to watch. They just played like crazy and the parents were so good at soothing and redirecting when needed. I was impressed.
This little girl cooked and cooked on this excellent play kitchen that makes cooking noises.
The best thing was the bouncy house in the back yard. Those little ones were filled with joy and energy and had a blast. All but one were girls and no one screeched!
Yes, I successfully bounced. It tired me out. Proof I bounced.
The little boy is Ellie’s nephew and as cute as he can be. Watching him play with the toy ice cream shop and car wash was so much fun for me. He’s a little engineer or scientist in the making.
Ruby and the ice cream shop toy. It’s very clever.
I’d have felt jealous or sad since I don’t get to hang out with grandkids much, but Pouri let me pretend to be a grandmother, so I just sat and smiled at the cuteness.
Speaking of cute, these!
I did end up passing in a few of the things I’d have given to my grandkids to Ellie and Jimmy, with all my love. I gave a Peter Rabbit cup and saucer my dear stepmom had given Declan with intentions to pass them to his children. He said it’s fine to pass them on. I also gave Ellie my three beautiful story books of different cultures that had been my mother’s as a child. They are now almost 100 years old. I think Ruby will enjoy the beautiful illustrations and the Japanese haiku.
Post crying
There was crying involved in that exchange but mostly it was very satisfying to see the thoughtful and engaging gifts that the little ones had so much fun with. There was lots of food and role playing stuff, all things any preschool child would enjoy.
I also enjoyed the cake. Dang, the kids all took turns nicely, really loved singing English and Persian birthday songs, and were patient with problematic candles. Everyone just laughed, including when Ruby steadily picked individual sprinkles off the cake. She likes sprinkles a lot. This was such a low-stress event.
I came back to the same hotel I usually stay at, walked around by a creek, and enjoyed some quiet knitting time. I enjoyed my day being an honorary grandma and seeing my friends.
I got a reindeer party favor because there were extras. I made her a collar. It says Vixen. That was my childhood reindeer toy’s name. Ellie sent carrots home with each toy (technically a caribou).
I’d love it if people said about me that I cared about others. Other stuff, well, we look different to everyone we interact with.
And sometimes I look goofy. This is me and my friend Phyllis pretending we’re eagles, because for some reason we were given eagle pins for bring Master Naturalist past Presidents.
I did manage to gussy myself up enough to approve of my hair and outfit for the party I was at this evening. As always, the Master Naturalist holiday party was fun, and it sure was nice to have it in one of the buildings our family worked on.
From the outside Looking down at the setting Comfy upstairs areaMore upstairs The location is the former JC Penney building
I enjoyed all the awards and recognition for people who worked so hard the past year. There were some heartfelt thanks for long-time officers who are moving on to let others do their jobs (some quite happily), and lots of happiness with new volunteers. I’m still the secretary, but enjoyed getting my eagle pin for being President, since I did it during COVID.
Alan is telling us why we are bald eagles
There were two things that touched me. One was that Catherine, who has commented often here in the past, gave me a beautiful old copy of O Pioneers! by Willa Cather. She said Cather reminded her of me. This is a book I’ve always meant to read-read, since I first read it when I was very young and don’t remember much except there were Swedish people in it. What a nice gift.
The second one was that I got the WOW iNaturalist award for the month from Linda Jo, our iNat cheerleader. It was for all the observations I got in the Pollinator BioBlitz in October. I didn’t think anyone had noticed that I did really well in it, but she did. I felt so good!
You can tell I was happy.
We did the Yankee gift swap thing as usual. I got my gift by stealing. It’s a cute glass birdbath I can use by the pool. My favorite part of the gift was a wooden dove that says “peace” that was part of the wrapping. Photos later.
I sure enjoyed my time with the generous and talented friends I’ve made in this program. I hope they know I’m saying nice things about all of them.
It really was a great day today. I don’t think the weather could have been better, all the animals were happy, and people were nice, too. This was the kind of day I’d hoped to have when I was a kid thinking about when I grew up.
Plus I saw this Queen butterfly on a vitex bush at the local coffee shop.
All my meetings were pleasant today, with good conversation and productivity. I finished a tedious task so now I can look forward to more fun work next week. I even sort of enjoyed a lot of tedious copying and pasting to make a list of every tag ever used in my Master Naturalist blog. Dang.
Fiery skipper on a dandelion
Lunch break was at the coffee shop with Anita, where I had a great coffee and huge salad. We listened to Chris the owner’s spouse talk about music and our mutual love of Ruidoso, New Mexico. Then we got all our talking in. We get to hang out again tomorrow, because I’m going Thanksgiving shopping with her tomorrow (Lee won’t grocery shop on weekends). What a nice break!
Birds flying to their roost at sunset. Cries I think. Or vultures.
After finishing work I enjoyed working with the horses. Drew even let me get some burs off the front of his head! the key was doing it while he ate. Tomorrow I’ll work on it more. But being out with them in the perfect weather was just ideal.
All this, and there were still more burs on him.
Finally, I went to a “hat bar” thing that my friend Courtney held at her store. I enjoyed watching the young woman who decorated the hats and had fun designing one for myself. She put a pansy on it for me.
She burned the image on.
The snacks were unique. They featured a huge armadillo sculpted out of cream cheese and filled with ham dip. It was ultra realistic and took folks a while to get up the courage to break into it. Whoever made it is talented!
Most interesting dip sculpture I ever saw
Anyhow, the hat thing was fun, though I felt sort of old and in the wrong social group (it was mostly the fashionable young women of town). But there were a couple women over 50, plus two people I knew.
Courtney did some hat burning, too, and was really proud of her leopard spots. She has to be good at it, since half the items in the store are leopard print (note shoes on customer in photo).
I had lots of fun with my friend Jenecia, who was in my Master Naturalist class with me. I hardly ever see her when she isn’t working one of her many entrepreneurial ventures, so getting to just laugh and catch up was nice.
We didn’t have THAT much wine!
I had more fun helping her find materials for her hat than mine, and it came out so cute!
So darling!
My hat had a theme of matching Drew’s tack, as if I’ll wear a hat when working with him. But it’s going to go with lots of my clothing.
And as if the day couldn’t end any better, I walked outside to see all the pretty lights in the town square. Every day Cameron gets a little better.
Holiday lights
There. Just wanted to share a good, full day of friends and fun.
Daily Bird
Today’s bird is the belted kingfisher, because I got to enjoy our winter resident as it flew around the front pond today. It seems to make the rounds of the three tanks/ponds near our house, judging from when I hear it. I see it often, too. Kingfishers have such a distinctive shape that they’re easy to spot.
The only other kingfisher I’ve seen is the ringed kingfisher I saw at the National Butterfly Center, which is in the northernmost part of its range.
I like to watch these birds. I can remember the first time I saw one, which was on some river. It must have been in Illinois at the little park by a large creek. I saw it catch a fish! I’ve seen that a few times.
We’re lucky to have one here at the Hermits’ Rest. I think I annoy it by trying to take a photo of it, but it’s because I love it!
Today was a great camping day here at Buescher State Park. I’d like to start the highlights with some coolness that happened right at my campsite.
This is a Gulf fritillary butterfly in the straggler daisies behind our motorhome. I was knitting and enjoying the afternoon as various butterflies flitted by. This one seemed to have an agenda.
Places to go, things to do.
It flew over to a vine just beyond the edge of the woods. The butterfly spent a lot of time going from leaf to leaf. I actually hadn’t noticed the vine before, but looking at it I realized it resembled a passion vine. I hadn’t seen any here yet, and there it was, right in front of me.
Yep. But it’s not the ones at home.
As I was taking the photo above I noticed something. There were two caterpillars on the vine. I took pictures of them, too. Then I went to look up the plant and the insect.
Yum.
Well. The plant was a yellow passionflower (Passiflora lutea). The caterpillars were Gulf fritillary babies. The butterfly had been laying eggs. Right there, the whole circle of life! Now I know the host flower for these guys.
As for the rest of the day, it started with chatting by the breakfasts of various fellow camping friends. Then I sort of led an interpretive hike down a wooded trail with seven other people. It was fun teaching the two kids some stuff as well as learning from all the campers.
Joanna, Tom, and Mike by the big tree.
We found some pretty flowers among the trees, including exuberant liatris, pink ruellia, and these darling tiny blue curls.
I enjoyed walking with folks who were as excited about little flowers as me, and a couple of the fellow campers were great observers. We even geeked out over fungi and molds.
Not exactly sure what any of these are
It was a great time, but we ended up tired!
Big oakMore Beautyberry Weird oak fungusHikingMossy tree
I did my nails a dark yet sparkly celestial color for the end of my beloved Daylight Savings Time, then hung out with various friends in the afternoon. It’s so good talking to people who know and accept you.
Semi-gloomy
I made egg salad for the traditional Live Oak potluck meal. The eggs weren’t cooperative so it took a while, but it ended up tasty. Especially with homemade salsa on it.
People ate it.
For a small group we ended up with a perfect variety of foods. We just fit in the tent pad on one of our campsites. It was great to all be able to talk to each other. There was only one couple I hadn’t met yet, who were lots of fun and very interesting. What a good time.
The gang, minus Joanna and Tom, cause she has to preach tomorrow. I got in the picture. Milling about Enjoy!Mike told stories with grand gestures Another pretty fire
On our way back to our site, Lee and I tried to take star pictures. Mine are only okay because I moved and messed up Jupiter. We also tried to get some of the lake.
Tree starsJupiter over a tree Just starsDang wiggly handLakeMore lake
The Hermits' Rest 