friendship – Page 2 – The Hermits' Rest

A New Avian Relationship

What relationships have a positive impact on you?

Sure, my relationships with many people have had a positive impact on me. But I don’t know how well I’d be doing right now if I didn’t have my relationships with animals.

Many humans have forged strong positive bonds with their dogs and cats, as have I. Our animal companions give as well as take love and more. Just being with our pack and seeing them interact makes me happy.

Goldie’s relationship with us is very special.

And the horses also have had a huge positive effect on me, as well as leading to some angst and doubt. But no relationship is 100% positive! I’m just glad to have the chance to be a part of the lives of these very different animals.

I think I was under the impression that humans didn’t really have relationships with birds, at least for much of my life. Birds were (and wild birds still are) for observing and keeping my distance.

After getting chickens, I began to see their distinct personalities and let myself get attached to them, which is why losing all my flock but Bianca was so hard. I really was attached to Bertie Lee and her friends.

I’m enjoying Bianca’s new friends, especially Clint, who is the friendliest of the current chickens.

But I’m trying to not let myself get smitten by our newest bird, Connie 182 Gobbler. She’s a turkey, a white meat turkey. 182 was one of a dozen turkeys my friend Heather’s son raised for FFA this fall. She was always very friendly and cuddly, even as a chick (poult).

I told Heather I’d take her when show season was over, since she was too small to show, but so sweet.

Today was the day of delivery, which had to be very confusing for 182. She had never left the barn before, never seen grass, etc. then she rode in the back of a truck! Then she was in a weird place where people kept trying to make her eat and drink.

We wanted to be sure she was okay. Um, and pet her.

Heather explains that she will like it here.

After doting on 182 and telling her that her name was now Connie (in honor of my friend whose mother said her face looked like a turkey egg when she had the measles), we left her alone. The first time I checked she was still in the coop, but walking around and eating chicken seed.

When I went to feed the horses I looked over and saw something large and white in the chicken run. It was Connie! She was walking in the part that used to have a bunch of plants in it when we only had Bianca and she was outside. That turkey was taste testing everything. She discovered millet on the stalk, wild melons, and burs. It was so much fun seeing her act like a wild turkey.

The chickens aren’t acting too upset, but they stay on whatever side of the pen Connie is not pecking away in. I’ll be interested to see if they develop their own positive relationship.

I’m completely charmed by Connie, myself. She’s so soft and warm, and she has such big eyes. I hope she sticks around!

Fun Up North

That’s north of Dallas, Texas. My pseudo-granddaughter had her third birthday party today, which provided an excellent excuse to visit her actual grandmother, my friend Pouri.

I drove up yesterday afternoon (still no fun driving through Dallas) and made it in time for a fabulous Persian meal. She overdid it as usual. I’m not complaining, of course. So many herbs, so much flavor. Saffron rice, salad with figs, nuts, and pomegranate…beef kebab and chicken with tasty potatoes. Wow. And there were persimmons for dessert.

Mostly this was a great chance to catch up and talk in a relaxed way. What a wonderful thing to do. That makes two nice talks with old friends in one week! This is the perfect thing to do in uncertain times, be with people you care about.

After a nice sleep in the cute guest room, Pouri gave me a “light” breakfast of many kinds of toast and exquisite preserves, like quince and sour cherries. Pouri is really a great hostess. I tried to take mental notes, but…

She put cute birds in the bathroom for me.

After breakfast, I took a walk around the neighborhood and heard 22 birds. There was a Great Horned Owl and a Cooper’s Hawk, and many overconfident crows.

Apparently this suburb is crawling with wildlife, including multiple bobcats. I saw enough squirrels to scare Anita for life, plus some rabbits, but no bobcats. I’m as intrigued with suburbs as I was last year.

The party was this afternoon at Ellie’s new house. It made me so happy to see how well she and Jimmy have done in their careers and with their daughter. I mean, Ellie just went with it when a vampire theme was requested for the party. All the dripping blood mixed well with the Christmas decor. So cute.

All the children were cute and I got to chat with the extended family some, too. Ellie and I plan to talk next week, when she’s relaxed.

Face painting went over very well. The painter was quite skilled. Pouri and I got flowers. Why not?

I drove back home this evening. So I’m pretty darned tired, especially since I hit a lot of rain. But I’m glad I went. I can’t wait for more catch-up sessions. I’ve been hiding too long.

I didn’t miss the dogs, because Banjo was there. Such a well behaved dog.

What’s the Traditional Gift for Your Sixteenth Anniversary?

I didn’t look it up, so I’m not sure what the official gift is. But, according to my friends Tarrin and Teddy, the gift is a nice rooster ( as opposed to a mean one).

The rooster magically appeared on their property, where he tried to fit in, but was chased by cattle, horses, dogs, and the roosters who already live there. He was too nice to just dispose of, so I volunteered to take him, since I still miss Bruce, our previous very nice fellow.

I put him in the roost with Bianca, figuring they’ll sleep together and be more likely to get along. Maybe he will encourage the Cochins Cathy and Cindy to sleep indoors. I hope so, since it’s cooled off and rain is forecast.

More fowl news to come soon, so stay tuned.

In addition to a horse lesson and chicken pickup, I spent a little while with my friends Pamela and Linda Jo, doing a BioBlitz across the road from Pamela, where the landowner intends to clear all the plants to create a pasture. We recorded all we found, including a variety of native trees.

We found 78 species, which shows the diversity hiding in our Milam County landscape.

There may be more observations uploaded to our iNaturalist project, which I look forward to. I’m finding a bit more peace being around people who are good friends and love our plants and animals.

Committed to Telling People What They Mean to Me.

This afternoon, Lee, our friend Martha, and I drove back to our old haunt, Live Oak Unitarian Universalist Church in Cedar Park. Due to some PTSD (at least on my part), it doesn’t happen often. But there we were, right where we used to be.

And there I was, doing what I used to do, singing with Bill. He asked me to join him, so I tried to remember how to sing.

A dear friend, Esther, passed away recently, and the Celebration of Life was today. This couple was a role model for our marriage, support when Lee’s dad was ill. I sang in the church choir for many years with Jim, and he brought me fish and game from time to time (I loved threatening to make squirrel stew from his bounty). He hated squirrels as much as Anita does.

As I listened to Jim share the touching story of their long and loving marriage, followed by funny and moving stories about Esther from their children and more, it occurred to me how Esther would have enjoyed the evening. Gee, most of the family are professional writers, so anyone would have enjoyed it.

My choir and women’s group friends with Jim.

What sparked in me was a desire to let all my old friends I saw at the service know how much I appreciated them and their contributions to my life. I did a lot of extra-hard hugging of my women’s group buddies and former choir friends. And a few people were probably a bit embarrassed to hear me tell them how much they mean to me. I was sorry a couple of people had to leave early. I’d have blubbered even more.

I blubbered at Ricky because he called me “Sue-Nanna,” which is what he always called me. Then we talked about football and golf.

But, in these uncertain times, I don’t know when I’ll see some of these kind and loving souls again. If I didn’t tell them now, when would I? I just looked into their faces and wanted to savor every moment.

I see them on Facebook all the time, but their in-person faces. Ahhh.

Please, if you get a chance to see people you care deeply about, tell them. Show them. It won’t hurt to tell them multiple times. It helps counteract some of the negativity. I’m glad Lee, Martha, and I got to do it.

I’m committed to telling everyone I see that I care about how much they mean to me now, while I can.

Comforting Conversations

This is probably not an stress-free weekend, even if you’re doing your best to live in the moment and enjoy the present. However, I’ve had a few conversations with friends and strangers that have helped me remember the good and hope in the world.

Lovely ofrenda in the Austin airport. Southwest Airlines does good stuff.

Yesterday started with a talk with a friend who’s a philanthropist, social worker, and former Red Cross volunteer. She’s very concerned about the immediate future. I hope by sharing some of the hopeful things I’ve heard, I helped a bit.

In the early afternoon, Doc Shenkman, my undergrad professor called. He had some opinions on current events to share. I had to smile as I realized he has not lost his passion for politics, social justice, and the importance of good law enforcement.

Reflecting on how his long rant reflected my own views reminded me that while my parents provided some guidance when I was young, it was long Friday night conversations over very bad but very cheap beer ($1.25 a pitcher) helped shape my values, morals, and philosophical orientation for the rest of my life. (I also learned many German drinking songs, because the German club sat next to us.)

The University of Florida had an honors undergraduate curriculum when I was there. We had tenured professors for all our required courses. Thank goodness for those generous souls who taught us to understand literature, the human, and social sciences. I got a real humanities education that I’ve used my whole life. Anyway, I’m lucky to still be friends with Doc, after all these years.

Later, after hugging all the dogs and horses, Lee drove me to the airport. During that trip I continued a text conversation with two former coworkers who are now trusted friends. we each have our reasons to worry about the future, as one of us has a trans family member, one is a gay man, and one is a mother of a teenage girl. It was comforting to talk to each other about our thoughts and experiences during challenging times. It’s good to know you aren’t alone and can both support and be supported right now.

And today at the Austin airport I saw a man wearing a Lincoln Project sweatshirt. I went up to him and gushed about how much we love their work, especially Lee. The man said he gets a lot of that, including people who whisper their support, like they’re behind enemy lines in World War II. He and his young grandson were heading to Charlotte to work at a rally today. The kid was not as impressed as I was that he’d get to meet Jon Bon Jovi, but at least he was excited to meet the Vice President.

I showed him my secret signs of allegiance

The man talked to me a bit about his journey from Bush, to Perot to Obama, which fascinated me. He kept his same convictions but changed to leaders he thought supported them better. Wow.

So I’m feeling okay as I head to South Carolina wearing my mask so I won’t get Covid again. It wasn’t planned that I’d be elsewhere during the Presidential election, but at least this way Lee can watch coverage all day and night and I won’t have to.

Remember. My friendship and love remain even if we disagree. I want the best for us all.

Let’s Talk about Support

If anyone reading this isn’t struggling in some way, I’m glad for you, but a bit surprised. These seem to be hard times for most folks I know. And it doesn’t look like things are getting any easier. I vote that we all do the right thing and support each other. Let’s cut each other some slack. Some of us could really use kindness and empathy right now.

Share what’s good in the world. This is a Phoebe.

We got more sad dog news today and are trying to figure out what to do about Goldie’s bone cancer. I needed support and to just talk about it. Thank goodness I have a friend who I can talk to, who’s going through similar canine concerns.

The horse trailer is back, and I was glad to go to lessons again. Yes, I wanted to learn horse stuff, but I also wanted to talk to Tarrin and engage in mutual support about our dogs and other family issues. Talking really helped me think things through, and I hope I was a good listener for her. And of course I loved on her sick dog.

I also loved on Christmas. He’s love-a-bull.

The lessons were good, too. Apache amazes me. He is doing so well and keeps making progress even with time off. He improved on the dreaded side pass (hooray) and was very patient when I worked on posting at the trot. He’s become a real treasure. We have both calmed down so we can learn.

Drew is doing much better with me, too, though he had some challenges today. That lovely filly of Tarrin’s gets him all rattled. At least this time, Tarrin was on him. But he settled down after ground work and was fine afterwards. He just has to grow out of losing focus on his human leaders. it ain’t easy.

He needs to breathe deeply, just like I do.

The horse lessons are so helpful to me, as is the support I get from Tarrin. We have so much in common yet challenge each other. That is what we need right now, to see past our superficial differences to our common humanity.

Find yourself someone to support or to be supportive to. It’s a great counterweight to the struggles and challenges we are going through as humans.

Still Here!

I didn’t blog yesterday because I had no deep thoughts, but I’m still here and taking care of all the animals and myself.

I haven’t been able to do much with the horses, because my saddles are in south Texas. I loaned my trailer out for a weekend while I was in Colorado, but it’s still there thanks to the Covid. We probably should have road tripped this weekend to fetch it, but there’s a chance it might be back before my next lesson. You really can’t predict who’s gonna get sick at any time in our family, so you just roll with the changes.

Instead of road tripping, we sat in the porch all morning, watched some college football until the streaming got wonky (our satellite went out when I was gone and should get fixed Monday), and had dinner with our friend Martha.

Not what I ate, but I’m impressed with how neatly Apache eats. He had a pie slice shape left when I went to open his gate. On the other hand, Mabel immediately overturns her dish and eats off the ground.

We’re hoping the new restaurant lasts a while. They tend not to in the old 50s Cafe building. I had liver and onions, and there was enough left to feed Goldie her medicine in for a couple of days. Win!

The dogs are no worse so far. They both seem cheerful enough, though Goldie was off her feed for a while. Fingers are crossed.

Coping is what we need to practice now, and we are doing that around here. I need to go out and enjoy the morning now. It looks like the gale winds of yesterday have died down. Enjoy your Sunday.

Enjoy my new nails. They are more red with pink highlights in person.

What a Sap

What positive emotion do you feel most often?

Yeah, it’s sappy, and awe came in a close second, but I am positive that the positive emotion I feel most often is love. I’m always feeling love for something or someone. Not romantic hormonal love, but more the enduring emotional attachment kind of love.

Apache feels great love for his food dish, most days.

Today was farrier day, so I spent a long time with the horses again. I feel so much love for each of them (and Fifi), and it’s different for each, like a mother’s love for her children. Tarrin said she liked how I speak kindly to my horses…and I do get sorta blubbery around them. They may not understand my words, but they can discern my feelings.

Fiona wants you to know I laughed at her for stepping in her food bucket. She’d been picking it up and banging it against the gate like a prisoner asking out of jail.

Mabel got lots of love today, because she was the calmest she’s ever been getting her feet done, and she was able to stretch her legs out and put them on the stand, which means she looked pretty darned good for her by the time he was finished!

Of course, I don’t spend all my love on horses. I get all gooey over my favorite plants and birds, and of course, the dogs. They each hear how much I love them ALL the time. It just comes out. I even love Alfred at his most shedding time, which is now.

Clouded Skipper on a clump of Alfred hair that wafted across the lawn.

There’s just so much joy that the dogs bring! And they love us back, too.

And of course, I feel love for so many people, most of whom may not realize it. I feel all warm and fuzzy at friends’ Facebook posts and Instagrams. I just beam inside when listening to friends talk. They are all so special to me! What a sap.

Then there’s my spouse, who loves to take photos of me chewing. I love him anyway.

I know Lee loves me, because he drove me to the Austin airport today and dealt with the dreaded “Austin traffic.” But we got a cool upgraded room with a couch in it, so he’s happy (he sleeps better in couches or recliners than beds). The Hilton at the airport used to be the HQ building at Bergstrom Air Force Base, and is circular. I always enjoy staying here.

Bonus: I felt more love when I looked over at the bar after dinner and saw my former Austin hairdresser and his husband! That was such a happy moment. We got all caught up on each other’s lives and travels. It makes me feel like a native when I run into people like that!

Off to sleep so I can zip back to another time zone tomorrow! I’ll make sure to check for typos in the post title before publishing, unlike yesterday.

Games People Play

What’s your favorite game (card, board, video, etc.)? Why?

I admit it. I like word games. My two favorites are Scrabble and Big Boggle. No one will play me because I’m a word professional. I’m NOT the best at either game, honest. I’m above average. I’d probably be better if anyone would play with me.

I don’t like the kind of games people play with interpersonal relationships. That’s why I enjoyed today. I spent much more time than usual talking to friends. It was a nice mix of light-hearted stuff and serious conversation. I’m sure glad I have friends to just hang out with sometimes!

This is me getting ready to go out, with a lurking husband. I was trying to show a friend my coordinating ensemble.

After talking with folks and hashing out some of my angst, I’m feeling a lot more balanced and able to act the way my principles tell me to. That made it worth a Zoom call and driving to Rockdale for fish tacos!

I’m calmer than this poor doe who was so rattled by my presence that she ran off quite flatulently. Here she’s resting between gas attacks.

Go off and enjoy your weekend. That’s my plan.

Much Gratitude, Must Express

How do you express your gratitude?

Honestly, I think I’m pretty bad at expressing gratitude, at least to people. And there is SO much to be grateful for, even with the challenges my family and community keep coming up against. The support each of our communities give us can give the strength to make it one more day.

I didn’t take any photos today, but I’ll find some. I saw this beauty yesterday.

I do say I’m grateful, especially to those who help around the ranch, help with animal care, and fix the endless broken things. But no doubt I could say it more and come up with better ways to show my gratitude.

Example: I’m really lucky I can just ask my son to go look at a broken door or ask Anita to help with my screw-ups on the Red House bookings. I’m taking him to dinner and got her a shirt, but they both need to know how much their flexibility means to me.

And just knowing our niece and nephew who live on the ranch with us are there when we need them takes away so much stress. I just hope we reciprocate in ways we can help!

I think I do let Tarrin know how much her work with me and the horses means to me. Her journey has contributed greatly to mine. Mentors who share their growth are to be treasured. I try to share my own growth here, to pass it on!

She’s patient, firm, and kind. It’s a good way to be.

I guess I try to tell people in person how grateful I am for them. And for those I know via social media, I try to express it often. In this world where it’s sometimes hard to find like-minded people in person, having folks who understand your fears and worries to turn to online is invaluable. Thank you, blog readers, too!

This rabid wolf spider has black front legs that almost disappear.

Yes, nature. I also try to express gratitude to the earth and her inhabitants by treading lightly and harming as little as I can. I want to fit in, though as a human being in Western civilization, it’s hard to not take up too many resources.

I let this fellow out. There are more things to eat outside. It’s some kind of wolf spider.

I’m trying to learn to do better, mainly by reading my neighbor Sara’s blog on regenerative agriculture. In fact, you can head on over there and read her post on things you can do now to meet the goals I have been talking about. Hmm. Sara is someone I need to express gratitude toward!

Family, friends, community, mentors, our planetary home…I’m grateful for them all and will strive to make that clear!