dailyprompt – The Hermits' Rest

Sure, I’ve Changed since Covid

How have you adapted to the changes brought on by the Covid-19 pandemic?

Since I’m avoiding telling other people’s stories and not much is going on with me, I welcomed this question. It gave me a chance to evaluate what’s changed, my struggles to adapt, and the positive and negative results.

I found one sad, small wine cup today. Usually we have quite a few. Hope the prediction of rain soon is correct.

Positive: the people we were staying with and became our “pod” are still with us much of the time. We have gone through significant ups and downs, misunderstandings, illnesses, and job changes, but we now support each other and have learned to deal with each other’s idiosyncrasies. There are a lot of idiosyncrasies to go around, but the fact that we’ve made it through a series of pretty impressive challenges and remain supportive says a lot about me, Lee, Kathleen, and Chris. We’ve done a lot of growing and changing for the better.

Another positive that didn’t feel that way at the time is that I finally figured out how to lose my conception of what was happening in my life and keep living in the moment rather than dwelling on the losses. There was a period when I realized friendships and family relationships weren’t what I thought they were. That hurt. And thanks to Covid I lost my beautiful workspace I’d put so much effort into and didn’t get to fully enjoy living in Austin in my beautiful house. I had to leave by the time we were no longer masked and distant.

But I got through it all. It may not have been pretty, and my heart broke and rebroke, but I came out so much stronger and more resilient. I have a much more accurate perspective on the people around me, friends, colleagues, and society.

Covid truly taught me that attaining personal growth, gaining wisdom, and developing inner strength is a journey that does not end. I’m better prepared now, though.

A negative is that I’m still not comfortable being in large groups where people might cough all over me. It doesn’t help that the only time I actually got the disease was after flying to a vacation. I have to fly again week after next. I have come to terms with the fact that there are germs out there. I do still have to live my life (and symptoms of the virus I got when I went to that event recently are finally almost gone).

Covid has kept me and Lee even more hermit-like, though I do a few things, still! And Lee goes grocery shopping where there are many people, something I avoid these days.

My favorite positive to come out of COVID is that I don’t have to commute to work and can stay here at the Hermits’ Rest or even work from campsites. At first I really missed being with coworkers, but now I’m so happy that I can be home where it’s less distracting (other than dogs) and work with so many people around the world. Thank goodness for online meetings! And when I quit, I can go hug a turkey, pet a horse, or go for a hike.

I think my life changed for the better, even considering the downsides. I’m sure a lot less anxious (as long as I do deep breathing during the news).

Happy April! Here’s 1/3 of the year’s temperature blanket, featuring the hottest March ever.

Confidence is elusive

Who is the most confident person you know?

This was yesterday’s blog prompt, but I waited to address it until today, because I really had to think hard about the answer. I dutifully ran my mind through a long list of people I know, trying to figure out who could be the most confident.

Just a pretty fern. I hope it stays healthy.

Every single time I thought about anyone who portrays an air of confidence, I’d stop myself and say, no, not that person. I know all their struggles and feelings of inadequacy. Or I know they have imposter syndrome, or they put on a confident shell to hide under.

And in every case, I realized how much I admire them. How impressive it is that they go out and do what needs to be done with an easy, confident manner. That takes strength and most important, self awareness. Anyone who knows themselves well can see their strengths and weaknesses and choose how to behave in ways that bring out their best.

I also admire those who don’t act confident but try anyway. I value their insights and contributions, too. There are lots of us out there!

This stink bug introduces the bad side of confidence.

It seems to me that the only people I know who act confident when they really shouldn’t be are those who really don’t know themselves well, either because they’re incapable of it or don’t care to try. They always want to tell you how interesting they are and are extra fond of the sound of their own voices.

I can do without those over-confident types, whether they hold high political offices or stalk you on Facebook.

This fine wolf spider stalked me on my chair. I let it be.

What’s my conclusion? I guess it’s that acting confident in what you do, even when you have nagging doubts, is the kind of confidence we need more of.

A Shopping Spree? Me?

Where would you go on a shopping spree?

Finally there’s a blog prompt that I can answer and it comes right when I’m doing my best not to buy things…except peace symbol jewelry and shoes. Shoes are what triggers my pleasure receptors or something like that.

Look how cute this shoe is! And it has a little charm!

I guess I can’t forget my love of nail polish strips. Today’s shipment made me glaze over with pleasure at their beauty, especially the one with green highlights. Ooh.

The one on far right. It will look so great on!

That doesn’t answer the question of where I’d go on a shopping spree, though. I can only wear so many Skechers and ColorStreet (no, I’m not compensated).

I think I’d go to the Navajo Nation and buy some turquoise jewelry, rugs (in the styles I like best), and some churro wool I could weave or crochet with. I’d get some pottery and paintings by artists I admire or ones who are new to me. I would prefer to buy directly from the artist. Maybe my spree would include commissions just for me, but allowing the artists freedom to do whatever they want.

This is the closest I have to a real Navajo rug. I don’t know its maker, but the colors and pattern are right.

If I’m going to spend a lot of money, I’d like to contribute to a culture I admire and purchase handmade items. So, if anyone wants to send me on a spree, that’s what I’d do! I’ve certainly bought enough jewelry and from Native Americans and other people I know. It brings me joy to wear these things and see them in my home.

The necklace distracts you from my scowl.

There’s not much other news, because I worked both jobs today (all interesting) and the only other activity I did was go on a walk with Kathleen. We found some flowers and a scary branch that looked like an angry snake in the creek.

Keep sending out more rain vibes for here!

Dream Home Thoughts

Write about your dream home.

I’m surprised the prompt writers don’t have me down as having responded to this one. But I’ll give it a try, with a bonus.

So my dream home is probably right where I live now. At least I have all I really ever wanted here, though I could dream of being somewhere with less cow poop and more forest. But I cannot complain about this house I helped design and picked all the materials for, inside and out. I have an office, a den, a yarn closet, a big bedroom, a kitchen with red tile, and a screened porch. Outside I have my very pleasant swimming pool for hot summers, a birding hut, a hut for actual birds, and a pasture full of beautiful horses. Plus we have plenty of dogs and space to house family members.

I’m very privileged. And oh yes, there aren’t other houses crammed all around me. I mostly see fields, trees, and a couple of neighbors.

I admit my house in Austin on the hill surrounded by greenbelts was sort of a secondary dream house and I really miss it. But you can’t have two at my pay grade.

As for the bonus, I wanted to talk about the avian dream house where the fowl here live. I think they don’t realize how lucky they are to have a hen house, a turkey hut, and a big run where someone tosses fresh greenery to them daily.

These gals love greens. And chicken scratch.

But I do know that Darryl Junior, my favorite pecker, thinks his water dish is a dream come true. That giant white behemoth can’t stop himself from poking it, stomping on it, and trying to break it.

Today I finally got the hose unhooked from it and replaced it properly so the automatic waterer feature would work again. That’s no thanks to Darryl and his “helpful” urges.

Clinton eating dinner next to the functional water dish.

At least the horses didn’t bust out again like they did yesterday. Someone undid the chain holding the gate shut! I’m pleased that they’re so obedient that when I call them and look like I might have a food dish, they gallop right back into their pen. See, this ranch is a dream come true.

Books I’d Like to Read

What books do you want to read?

Look! A prompt I haven’t already answered! And on a day I’m too tired of thinking to write anything coherent. So, sure, I’ll tell you what books I’d like to read!

Sunset was pretty 360° around this evening

I want to read books about horses, birds, dogs, wildlife, native plants, and weird nature facts. I want to read about science, language, and (factual) history. I want to read about ways to make the world a better place and the people who do so.

I want to read about fiber arts, fiber artists, and the history of everyday things. I want to read about architecture, interior design, and clothing design to learn more about creating beautiful spaces and cozy surroundings.

And pattern instructions. I like reading them. More on my hat tomorrow.

I want to read about how to keep my mind and body healthy and how to nurture relationships with others.

I want to read stories about ordinary people facing life’s challenges in ways that inspire me and make me laugh.

I’ll never run out of things to read. Being able to read and write is one privilege I cling to with deep gratitude. It’s hard to separate “me” from all the words (and images) around me. And I treasure the unique words and images of others. I’d rather read a messy and ungrammatical article than something made bland and perfect by machines.

You have to go past ice to get out of here.

Wishing safety and warmth to all of us still dealing with cold, ice, and snow.

Mountain Girl Wannabe

Beach or mountains? Which do you prefer? Why?

I grew up near beaches and I like them okay, though I prefer marshy land near beaches, which have more interesting birds.

Beach sunsets are pretty fine! I do love Hilton Head.

But I really love mountains and always have. I looked forward to visiting Chattanooga, where my paternal grandmother lived, each summer so we could look at streams, go through tunnels, and drive along the Blue Ridge Mountains.

As an adult, I’ve treasured my visits to other mountains in all weather. There are really good birds, too, and each area is so different! if I were rich, I’d head right over to Breckenridge and hike and snowshoe and be just fine. Or maybe Ruidoso, since it’s in another state I love.

Just dreaming. I’m here in Texas looking at a small hill. At least I have all these birds!

Look. I finally took bird photos you can identify as birds. Eastern Phoebe.

Off topic, but I enjoyed watching a huge flock of Brown-headed Cowbirds roosting and then departing en masse this morning. I had the good camera (Cameron EOSR5 Mark II) and telephoto lens in the birding area. Distance shots are from the phone camera.

I also dragged the camera to the Wild Wings Bird Sanctuary to practice close-ups. I got lots of chickadees and titmice at the feeders and a few others. I think a couple are pretty good. At least you can see details on them. I’m gonna practice this week so my camera muscles will be all strong for next weekend. Anyway, here are cute titmice.

And here are just a few Carolina Chickadees. They pose well.

I also got a couple of nice shots of water dripping into the birdbath. Look carefully and you will see many honeybees from the nearby hives.

I took lots of photos of new Wildscape plants, but that will be in a Master Naturalist blog. But here are a couple of insects!

So, whee. Mountains are great, but no matter where you are, there are birds, insects, and plants to explore.

My Favorite Place in Cameron

What is your favorite place to go in your city?

Okay, it’s not a city; it’s a small town. And I no longer go into town very often. I’m avoiding humanity. Plus many of my favorite places are no longer there, sigh (probably because I stopped going anywhere optional).

But there are still a few places I like in Cameron, Texas, so I must choose one. It isn’t very hard, basically because I truly love pecan sticky buns. The only place you can get them is at the local bakery!

See, I even have a dusty sticker in my office.

Shirley Mae’s has a cute playroom my son built, many upgrades done by Chris, and it’s where Anita and I used to get coffee and snacks together before she stopped taking any time off work. Lots of good memories there, and the owners are also great.

Where the sticky buns live (photo from their Facebook page)

I really could have used a baked item this morning, since I drove all the way to the courthouse for jury duty, only to have it canceled right as I arrived. I’d called the jury duty line before I left, and it did say I had to show up. So, 99 people and I drove from around the county just to be good citizens.

It’s typical for all the cases to settle before trial here. It costs a lot to do jury trials, so they try to plea bargain everything. I get it. And apparently this kind of thing happens often in other places, too. So, I just wish the bakery was open on Mondays for sad potential jurors.

On another note

I’d say all is well that ends well, but I have to admit I feel mentally unbalanced. Last night I started having severe anxiety symptoms, the chest pains that you hope aren’t really a heart attack. (Watch said my pulse was fine.) Then last night, I had a horrible nightmare that had me screaming for my mom and woke Lee up.

I wonder what’s bothering me? Not this wheel bug!

Today I have continued to feel anxious and pained in my chest. Of course I have no more Xanax, because I haven’t felt really bad since this time last year. What’s weird is I haven’t felt no frightening new/old President to concern me. Things are fine as far as I can tell.

I hope I figure this out!

And don’t worry; I’ve dealt with anxiety my whole life, just less in the past few years. I can handle it with all that breathing and meditation and stuff.

My Weird Relationship with Screens

How do you manage screen time for yourself?

Look, I’ve been earning my pay looking at computer screens, well, since they were invented (though I did work as a copy editor and proofreader using pencil and paper for a while). And I was an early handheld device adopter—playing Bejeweled on my Palm Pilot was a great stress reliever during my divorce.

Red pencils. Proofreader tools. Photo from Pexels.

This is to say, I have a good bit of screen experience (of course I have had television since Lassie was on every Sunday). I can’t avoid computer screens as long as I have paid employment in my field of tech writing, but I can try to limit phone use. Hey! I could stop blogging on my phone! Yes! No. It’s fun.

I used one of these babies. Monochrome display! Photo from Pexels.

You’d think my nature hobbies would help me escape screens, but the phone comes with me to take all my photos. But, hooray for me, since I’ve taken to leaving my phone outside listening to birds on Merlin Bird ID, I can’t doom scroll for many hours. Weird but it works. Of course, the phone thinks I’m looking at is and racks up time that makes me look glued to the phone, but I’m not!

And of course I read a lot and do all those crafts. So I’m okay with my screen time. Oh, and I make sure not to open up my Finch self-care app more than 2-3 times a day. One can get sucked in.

Apparently I **have** used Finch every day since I got it, though.

My point? I don’t think looking at screens is a terrible problem for me. If I’m learning, earning money, interacting with friends, or seeing the beauty in the world, screens do me good. My area of caution is to not read or watch content designed to upset me or insult me. I read one or two posts a day from my incendiary friends (both left and right), then I just move on as soon as I see where content is headed.

That’s it. I just stop. Over generalizing about groups or factions? I keep moving. Mean? Skip. Blatantly wrong but not open to other viewpoints? No response. It works. Now I mostly see trees, horses, chickens, yarn, jokes, and for some reason makeup for “mature” skin (which I don’t wear). Just don’t engage unless you think you can accomplish something.

Enough of that. I would have shared how nice the spot we are staying in at Blanco State Park is, but by the time we figured out the latest issue with Seneca the motorhome and I finished working, it was dark. Ugh. The chassis battery is dead. We could recharge it by starting the generator, but that hasn’t worked for months. Have I mentioned that recreational vehicles are prone to breaking? Yes. It’s true.

So yay, we are camping with no air conditioning! So primitive! And no TV! (too dark to set up the system). No, we are just fine, other than the occasional acorn dropping on the roof.

Yeah, Genie, Do This

You have three magic genie wishes, what are you asking for?

Everyone will wake up one day and realize we can all live together in peace if we spend as much energy trying to work things out as we now do on trying to divide each other.
Everyone has what they need to be healthy, contribute to society, and love who they love.
The non-human life in earth can thrive and heal the planet.

That will do.

It’s not hopeless. Lilies came back after the rain. Just south of here, migrating monarchs are everywhere. Sandhill Cranes are reaching their wintering grounds. A cold front is coming.

Happy to Stay Right Here

How much would you pay to go to the moon?

Nah. I have no need to go to the moon. I like it where it is and me where I am. All the lunar romance, metaphor, and legend falls away when you view the moon as a large cratered hunk of rock. I do think it’s amazing that our moon is the exact right size to create eclipses, though. That is one thing that makes me wonder if there’s an intelligent designer of the universe. Maybe the only thing…

…meanwhile, back in my little spot on Gaia, Mother Nature has taken on a benevolent aspect, at least for a time, and graced us with rain not just one, but two nights in a row! Yesterday’s total was over two inches, and tonight it’s rained hard for quite a while. There was a little water in the creek today. I look forward to seeing how our tanks look tomorrow.

But during the day, it was pleasant, which enabled me to get my eyes examined right in Cameron, Texas (what a luxury), which included interesting conversations on current events where I just listened. I rewarded myself with a visit to the bakery for a nice sticky bun. Mmm.

No photo of a bun, but here’s a Great Egret in a tree.

I’d thought my next task, getting Apache ready for a lesson, would be quick and easy. I was mistaken. I now have all dark gray horses, the exact color of our dirt. Apache had really been getting into his mud spa treatment and was concentrating particularly on his mane. He was encrusted. I regret not photographing it, but was pressed for time.

He looked like me, only bigger and more horse shaped.

I did my best in the limited time I had to wash him off, but it was not successful. At least he was clean enough to put a saddle on and did well even with the distractions of gunshots and frolicking foals. He’s sure come a long way.

I’m sure he will enjoy the mud these clouds have created.

That’s about all I have to write about today, because rather than contemplating wasting my money going to visit a cratered rock, I spent the rest of the day contemplating the value of life, the importance of friendship, and how we need to enjoy every moment we have on this planet, even when things are more than a little wonky.

I enjoyed the moment I saw this Nuptial Scorpionfly today!

Please know that if you’re my friend, you matter to me very much. And even if I don’t know you, I wish you a good life.