Apache

Overwhelmed

That’s today’s word: overwhelmed. That’s what happens when too many intense events happen at once. I think I was holding myself together to get through Goldie’s surgery, then it all got to me today. I felt all oogey in my brain.

Naturally, or coincidentally perhaps, more little things kept piling up. I couldn’t sit outside to work, because my laptop screen has stopped working. And changes, questions, and challenges started piling up so I was stuck at my desk, where my chair has decided it won’t stay up. Just little things. But, ugh.

Maybe I need new ones. Photo from Pexels.

I did get a few minutes to sit with Lee as we supervised Goldie laying in the sun. We managed to keep her from running anywhere. And later, when I finished all my tasks, including training in my new department, I got to just sit with Goldie and keep her calm and happy.

Meanwhile, Harvey is having more trouble. His eye now looks like it’s messed up. I hope he hasn’t abraded his eye like Scrunchy the pug used to. And his balance is work. Two sickly dogs can be overwhelming, but I just loved on them a lot.

Plus I was concerned about Apache, who has stopped eating his dinner. He just stares at the wall. And I was worried about his feet, because he hasn’t been running like the others when they come up for food. (Mabel, on the other hand, now runs like the racehorse she may have once been.)

So. It wasn’t Tarrin’s best day either. She also has a dog who had cancerous growths removed, then surgery on her intestines that had gotten messed up by medication. Eek. We are monitoring Goldie for that.

Ekho is recovering well and enjoying her favorite rolling in the grass activity. She’s hiding her bandaged foot.

Then this morning, Tarrin found her beautiful stallion had died overnight with no signs of struggle. That was overwhelming. Just awful. Sudden losses are so unexpected; you sorta go into shock.

So, since we both felt like crap, I skipped my lessons. Horses can tell when you aren’t at your best. However, Lee was nice enough to bring Apache over to Tarrin’s so we could talk about his food, medication, and feet. Secretly I also went so I could support her like she’s been supporting me with all the dog stuff.

It was very helpful to have a friend to talk to about how I was feeling, and it also felt good to be an empathetic listener. No doubt we will both be fine later, but today we were both sad.

Apache was probably wondering why he wasn’t being saddled and ridden, but he didn’t complain about just getting a trim. His soles are shedding, so Tarrin trimmed them and put his boots on.

Wearing his boots and making his sleepy face.

She helped me come up with a feeding plan and decided we need to switch his medication. He has too many side effects still, after a year. He should not be ignoring food and standing like a zombie. The powder medicine should be more palatable and have fewer side effects. Plus it costs less!

His plan is to convince me to take him out for grass that needs trimming every day.

Now I just have to try to return the 6-month supply of Prascend that just arrived. I sure hope I can. It’s expensive. But I’m glad to have a plan for Apache! He’s doing so well in training that I want him as happy as possible.

Long story, sorry about that. But I feel better thanks to good friends (online and in person) who care. I even got surprise presents from Kathleen, who did a stealth visit, meal, and present drop-off all while we were off with Apache.

Better times are coming! Or, I’ll be back to coping well with challenging times!

Animals: Always a Challenge

Lots of animal news today. They keep me on my toes!

Goldie

Lee and I were up early to get Goldie to the specialty veterinarian by 9. She was so damned good. It’s just a shame she had to have her life shortened by bone cancer.

However, the staff at the vet were great and quite encouraging. They see a lot more of this stuff than we do. The oncologist explained the options to us and stressed that since Goldie is basically healthy other than the tumor, is young, and is at a good weight, she is an excellent candidate for amputation. Another good factor is that she is already mostly walking on three legs.

Here Goldie is enthralled by the oncologist discussing her treatment plan.

Our hopes are that this procedure ($$$) will buy her many months of pain-free life. She can’t get worked on until Wednesday, so in the meantime we have good pain medicine that will also keep her calmer and less likely to try to run.

She is worth it to us. We might decide differently with a different dog in different circumstances.

She already leans more on her right side.

So, later today, I braved the heat to go work with the horses. I fed them and all seemed well until I realized Apache hadn’t come over to eat. I went up to him and saw he was covered in sweat and breathing really hard. If he were a dog, he’d have been panting. I got worried that he had colic or was overheated.

So I brought him over to the tack room and hosed him off. As soon as I started hosing, he started chowing down on the long grass the lawn mower misses. When I called Tarrin to make sure I was doing the right thing, she said he wouldn’t be eating like crazy if he were colicking. I dread having a horse colic (intestinal issues).

At least I dodged another pet sickness. I hosed him down a second time after he ate for a while, and he happily walked off to graze.

The Chickens

Finally, good news. Since I got Cindy and Cathy Cochin they’ve been sort of huddling together looking scared. They had not figured out that they could go into the coop. I soon noticed they weren’t alone, though. Bianca was spending a lot of time hanging out on the other side of the pen from them.

That was perfect! This let them get to know each other without any chicken fights. Now I just had to get Bianca in the chicken run with the Cochins. And I did!

Today I fed the hens late, since I was out with Goldie all morning. I noticed that Bianca was in the jungle half of the run, where it’s shady. She realized I’d filled the water trough for the other hens and ran out to stand next to the door. She wanted some. I seized the moment while the black hens were keeping as far from me as possible and opened the door. It only took a little chicken wrangling to get Bianca to go in there and start pecking away at the food. Soon they were all eating together. Yay.

My hope is that Bianca will show Cathy and Cindy how to get into the roosting area. They will be happier sleeping there and laying eggs in the boxes.

So, I’m at least doing okay with some animals!

Let’s Talk about Support

If anyone reading this isn’t struggling in some way, I’m glad for you, but a bit surprised. These seem to be hard times for most folks I know. And it doesn’t look like things are getting any easier. I vote that we all do the right thing and support each other. Let’s cut each other some slack. Some of us could really use kindness and empathy right now.

Share what’s good in the world. This is a Phoebe.

We got more sad dog news today and are trying to figure out what to do about Goldie’s bone cancer. I needed support and to just talk about it. Thank goodness I have a friend who I can talk to, who’s going through similar canine concerns.

The horse trailer is back, and I was glad to go to lessons again. Yes, I wanted to learn horse stuff, but I also wanted to talk to Tarrin and engage in mutual support about our dogs and other family issues. Talking really helped me think things through, and I hope I was a good listener for her. And of course I loved on her sick dog.

I also loved on Christmas. He’s love-a-bull.

The lessons were good, too. Apache amazes me. He is doing so well and keeps making progress even with time off. He improved on the dreaded side pass (hooray) and was very patient when I worked on posting at the trot. He’s become a real treasure. We have both calmed down so we can learn.

Drew is doing much better with me, too, though he had some challenges today. That lovely filly of Tarrin’s gets him all rattled. At least this time, Tarrin was on him. But he settled down after ground work and was fine afterwards. He just has to grow out of losing focus on his human leaders. it ain’t easy.

He needs to breathe deeply, just like I do.

The horse lessons are so helpful to me, as is the support I get from Tarrin. We have so much in common yet challenge each other. That is what we need right now, to see past our superficial differences to our common humanity.

Find yourself someone to support or to be supportive to. It’s a great counterweight to the struggles and challenges we are going through as humans.

Still Here!

I didn’t blog yesterday because I had no deep thoughts, but I’m still here and taking care of all the animals and myself.

I haven’t been able to do much with the horses, because my saddles are in south Texas. I loaned my trailer out for a weekend while I was in Colorado, but it’s still there thanks to the Covid. We probably should have road tripped this weekend to fetch it, but there’s a chance it might be back before my next lesson. You really can’t predict who’s gonna get sick at any time in our family, so you just roll with the changes.

Instead of road tripping, we sat in the porch all morning, watched some college football until the streaming got wonky (our satellite went out when I was gone and should get fixed Monday), and had dinner with our friend Martha.

Not what I ate, but I’m impressed with how neatly Apache eats. He had a pie slice shape left when I went to open his gate. On the other hand, Mabel immediately overturns her dish and eats off the ground.

We’re hoping the new restaurant lasts a while. They tend not to in the old 50s Cafe building. I had liver and onions, and there was enough left to feed Goldie her medicine in for a couple of days. Win!

The dogs are no worse so far. They both seem cheerful enough, though Goldie was off her feed for a while. Fingers are crossed.

Coping is what we need to practice now, and we are doing that around here. I need to go out and enjoy the morning now. It looks like the gale winds of yesterday have died down. Enjoy your Sunday.

Enjoy my new nails. They are more red with pink highlights in person.

What a Sap

What positive emotion do you feel most often?

Yeah, it’s sappy, and awe came in a close second, but I am positive that the positive emotion I feel most often is love. I’m always feeling love for something or someone. Not romantic hormonal love, but more the enduring emotional attachment kind of love.

Apache feels great love for his food dish, most days.

Today was farrier day, so I spent a long time with the horses again. I feel so much love for each of them (and Fifi), and it’s different for each, like a mother’s love for her children. Tarrin said she liked how I speak kindly to my horses…and I do get sorta blubbery around them. They may not understand my words, but they can discern my feelings.

Fiona wants you to know I laughed at her for stepping in her food bucket. She’d been picking it up and banging it against the gate like a prisoner asking out of jail.

Mabel got lots of love today, because she was the calmest she’s ever been getting her feet done, and she was able to stretch her legs out and put them on the stand, which means she looked pretty darned good for her by the time he was finished!

Of course, I don’t spend all my love on horses. I get all gooey over my favorite plants and birds, and of course, the dogs. They each hear how much I love them ALL the time. It just comes out. I even love Alfred at his most shedding time, which is now.

Clouded Skipper on a clump of Alfred hair that wafted across the lawn.

There’s just so much joy that the dogs bring! And they love us back, too.

And of course, I feel love for so many people, most of whom may not realize it. I feel all warm and fuzzy at friends’ Facebook posts and Instagrams. I just beam inside when listening to friends talk. They are all so special to me! What a sap.

Then there’s my spouse, who loves to take photos of me chewing. I love him anyway.

I know Lee loves me, because he drove me to the Austin airport today and dealt with the dreaded “Austin traffic.” But we got a cool upgraded room with a couch in it, so he’s happy (he sleeps better in couches or recliners than beds). The Hilton at the airport used to be the HQ building at Bergstrom Air Force Base, and is circular. I always enjoy staying here.

Bonus: I felt more love when I looked over at the bar after dinner and saw my former Austin hairdresser and his husband! That was such a happy moment. We got all caught up on each other’s lives and travels. It makes me feel like a native when I run into people like that!

Off to sleep so I can zip back to another time zone tomorrow! I’ll make sure to check for typos in the post title before publishing, unlike yesterday.

The Goal: Don’t Fall Down

How do you plan your goals?

As my husband and goal-fixated friends know, I’ve never been one of those people who have goals for every day, week, month, quarter, year, and decade. These folks derive much benefit from analyzing their progress and figuring out their strategies. I used to really admire my friend Russell and his goal-setting (and achieving) prowess. Goals really motivate most people.

Lee had a goal to rid the pasture of giant bur plants. Much progress was made.

I just can’t do it. I’m too much of a “live in the moment” person who changes focus according to my needs. Goals just seem like tedious looming deadlines. I don’t know what I plan to do in the next decade. Not die?

Green Heron’s goal was to be a high wire acrobat. Win! I’d never seen one on an electric wire before!

Oh of course there are things I’d like to do, like visit natural wonders, become a better naturalist, finish my temperature blanket for this year, etc. I’m just not into exact dates and step-by-step plans. Life is not a race with some prize at the end if we make our goals. We don’t all have to set goals in the same way. That’s fine.

I do admit to having short-term goals. One is to not fall off my horse. I succeeded today!

You haven’t fallen off me in years! But that one time was enough. Photo by Lee.

Poor Drew got spooked big time during my lesson (when he was already a little antsy). Tarrin’s golden baby horse got the zoomies when Drew was fixated on her lovely mother. I thought Drew was going to jump out of his skin as he bolted backwards. But I stayed on, and Tarrin grabbed him to help him calm down. He was hugging her with his neck and started licking her! Poor guy was scared. But I win! I held on. I’m glad I had on my sticky riding pants!

Only Drew photo I got today. He’s a little pudgy. (That’s my helmet on Apache’s saddle—he’s my beast of burden.)

This was another piece of evidence for something that had been on my mind. I’m wondering if he can hear well. We did a few informal tests this afternoon and…hmm. That could explain why he never looks up when I call him, and some of his reactions. We will have to investigate further. Did his mystery injury cause it? The big ole donkey hoof to the head he got?

Luckily, Apache seems just fine. We are making lots of straightness progress, we are re-learning the side pass, and I’m getting better at riding with one hand on the reins. He is so much happier these days. But he does seem to have to pee every time we head back to the RV after our lessons! He’s working his back muscles, apparently, and that makes you have to go.

It’s a natural bodily function. I sit up to relieve pressure.

My goal for Apache was to be able to ride him calmly and enjoy it. We are getting there! See I had a goal!

Mom! That picture was embarrassing! Photo by Lee.

The Good Stuff: Equine Edition Plus

A little wiped out so I can’t write something long about comfort. So I’ll be brief but positive! This blog needs that, don’t you think?

I’m just pleased as punch to be able to announce that I’m in the best relationship yet with both my horses. That’s taken a lot of work and patience, but sure feels good. I’m glad my trainer works hard and is patient, too (plus she cares).

These are her filly and new calf. They have become playmates. It is extra cute.

It’s become a true pleasure to work with Apache. Funny story: I asked Tarrin if maybe something was wrong with him, because he’s been acting so laid back and agreeable. She laughed and said maybe I’m meeting my horse for the first time. He finally feels good and is showing his friendly and fun personality all the time, and he’s calm. We’ve both come a long way in that department. Dang, it’s fun to get better together.

I don’t have a photo of him today, so here are two more friends. They are good to each other.

And Drew is back to the horse I enjoyed so much before. Whatever he was angry about has passed, and he seems to feel better, too. I guess his shots are helping. I’m enjoying him rather than just working with him because I’m supposed to. I guess we figured things out.

Me riding Drew wherever I ask him to go. It was fun.

The good stuff plus today was that I managed to actually bring myself to reach out to someone about how bad I’ve been feeling lately. She listened, came up with ideas, and made some plans. It just felt good to explain how I feel and be listened to. That’s all I needed.

I’m going to have to find something fun to do this weekend, because we aren’t going camping as planned. The bedroom slide isn’t working in Seneca (Tarrin’s son looked at it but the easy possibility of a loose wire didn’t pan out). And I don’t want to leave the animals alone with just someone feeding them. At least I can ride the horses. My friendly, well behaved horses!

This female roseate skimmer reminds us that some change is good.

Birds, Horses…That Is All

I had to skip the blog prompt again, because it would have caused me to go on and on about my fears for the future. I’m living day by day right now, so hooray for birds and horses! Their only agendas are to eat more delicious food, and in the birds’ case, reproduce. No babies for the horses (Mabel is secretly glad, I’m sure).

That’s why she isn’t in this picture. She’s galloping around, thrilled to be foal free.

My highlight of the day came in my morning walk, when something white flashed in the sky. It was a shimmering white flock of birds heading dead south. It’s weird to see migrating birds in summer, but there they were.

I figured it was the local group of cattle egrets moving from one pasture to another, but they were pretty high. But even from far away I could see heads sticking out, which is not how cattle egrets fly.

When I looked at the pictures I took, I saw black on the wings. So, not egrets. Snow geese? Their black is only on the tips and you’d hear them honking. These birds had lots of black on their underwings.

In fact, I heard no sounds from these birds. I thought back to the white pelicans I saw at Tarrin’s not too long ago. They do have black on their wings. But they made noise and you could really see their heads. Not these. So I concluded these are wood storks, which are occasionally seen here (by me, in the back pond, twice). They must be late migrants.

Or I’m wrong. However, Merlin did suggest the stork as possible here this time of year and not the pelicans. A good mystery.

We will be talking about it for weeks, say the swallows.

Today was another horse lesson—due to vacations and other travel, they sort of clump together. It was extra hot again, but we figured out how to cope. I was very proud of Apache today. He was a real trooper, even though he wasn’t enjoying the heat either. He is getting SO easy to ride, and is willing to keep working on his weak areas.

We’ve found a short bamboo stick is just what helps him move off his left side. And I can use it now that I ride well enough I can use one hand on the reins. It’s what I used to do a long time ago but needed more skills. He and I are really progressing, doing things that require more finesse than effort (perfect in summer).

What’s going on here? He had to pee. He very rarely does that with a rider on. When they pee, you lean forward to relieve pressure.

And at least I got to ride Drew today. He has been doing better on the ground at honey, so I wasn’t too worried about it. First we practiced me being the boss a little bit. He’s getting the idea. Then we did some leg yields and figure 8s. In the SHADE. That part was nice.

It’s a bit challenging, but interesting to see how Drew and Apache need different techniques. No long reins for Drew! But after some pawing, backing up, and “complaining,” I was able to get him to do as requested. He worked hard. I think he sweated more than Apache.

I think we are back on track, though. Tarrin got him even hotter by reminding him how to behave when I got off, so when we were done I rinsed him off while Tarrin messed with Apache’s hooves (farrier is delayed). Drew really enjoyed the hose and I enjoyed watching him play with the sprayer. He just sucked the water right down. He can be so cute!

And that ended my day on a happy note. Hooray.

And there’s a good chance the upstairs air conditioning will be fixed soon! It’s bearable, though.

Silly Costume Question

If you were forced to wear one outfit over and over again, what would it be?

I’m tired from four hours in today’s heat, so I hadn’t planned to blog. However, I can handle this question and want to know your answers, too. Here’s what I could wear every day:

No, my Bitmoji avatar doesn’t look much like me. But it has a red t-shirt, blue jeans, and red shoes, probably in my old age I should trade the cowboy boots for Skechers slip ons. I would accessorize with turquoise jewelry. Under it would be my extra comfy MeUndies bra-like thing and matching soft, practical undies, tie dye print. I’d be fine.

My shadow would look just like this, other than the bare foot.

What would you wear?

Otherwise I had a good day of work and helpful horse lessons. Apache is doing so well and is really becoming Mr. Reliable. Drew was a bit sore and jumpy. He got so sweaty he looked black.

Here he is indicating his opinion of moving left correctly.

I did get a few nice photos of the horses today. My favorite is Dusty and Mabel enjoying a drink together.

And here’s the whole herd wishing you the peace and abundance they have, mostly.

It’s All Black Beauty’s Fault

Do you remember your favorite book from childhood?

Surprise! As a child I was very fond of, you guessed it, horse books. I read every horse book in the Sidney Lanier Elementary School library by third grade. The last book the librarian found was Steinbeck’s The Red Pony. She soon learned that sensitive young girls should not be given that book, even if they have advanced reading skills. I cried a lot and had nightmares.

I didn’t like the thought of horses dying gruesome deaths.

I’m glad they now have books for young people with high reading levels that are still children.

My favorite childhood book, Black Beauty, by Anna Sewell, also depicted bad things that happen to a horse, but after I’d read it once, I knew there would be a happy ending, so I let all Sewell’s animal rights propaganda seep into my future Master Naturalist brain by reading my poor copy dozens of times.

This was the 1955 edition I owned. Goodness, that horse has small eyes.

I can tell you what the cover looked like, and how I regretted that I let the plastic coating on the cover peel away. I can smell the book, even. It was the most beloved of a set of beloved horse books, a few of which I still have.

No wonder it was so important to me to find a trainer who was kind to horses and understood them. It’s probably a good thing I waited until I was getting on in years to start formal lessons, so that natural horsemanship could become a “thing.” I wouldn’t have been good at the showing the horse who’s boss by beating them school of training nor the cruel bits/painful sours tack they’d use. Black Beauty didn’t like that either!

That stuff’s for the birds, says Mr Cardinal.

Today was a great example of how Tarrin Warren, my horsemanship coach and horse trainer, works with each horse and rider pair differently, according to the needs and skills of both the horse and the human.

Check this out! Me and Drew happily riding outside of the arena! Happy faces.

I had lessons on both horses, and doing the same exercise I used different techniques to bring out Drew and Apache’s talents and help with their issues, all the while building my skills. This helps me with my confidence in other areas, too.

This horse right here calmly walked by neighing horses, a loud RV, and the previously hated trailer.

Horses are good for people. And looking at Apache’s shining eyes and willing body makes me think maybe they get something from us, too.

Drew is completely back to his normal self, too. It’s like the past few months never happened. We have fun and I feel perfectly safe with him, even when his leg collapses under him. Heck, today I gave him his shot like a pro, and had ZERO issues bridling him. Those are two things I’d never have believed I could do before.

So yeah, as much as I loved learning about horses in books as a child, I’m loving it even more with actual horses. Yup, even with all the ups and downs.

Here we are, looking forward to the future. Or looking at Tarrin’s new house.

Tomorrow I promise to write about something other than horses! Or birds. I’m getting rather stuck on topics, but it helps me avoid controversy.

But we birds are fascinating, says the Red-Bellied Woodpecker.

I’m also interesting! (Giant Walking Stick)

What about me? I came in Suna’s house and she rescued me before dogs found me. That’s interesting. (Gulf Coast Toad)