The Hermits' Rest

Dogs and Hearts

It’s just so hard to think about my two sick dogs. You know when you get one that you’ll probably outlive them, but it’s not easy to watch them suffer. Our animal companions really fill our hearts.

So mine is hurting for Harvey, like I said yesterday. He’s a little worse each day. I don’t even know what to do.

Goldie is also doing worse, so we went and got X-rays for her in College Station. She was very good in the car, but I think getting in and out wasn’t good for her leg. She’s limping way more. But we had to get her there somehow.

She was all comfy. I’m sorry for not having a giant dog seatbelt. We don’t drive our dogs anywhere normally.

The veterinarian and staff were very nice, too. They were kind to Goldie when getting her X-rays and gave me lots of scary reading material on osteosarcoma in giant dogs. It makes me wonder why anyone breeds giant dogs, knowing how often this happens. Well, we didn’t breed her.

The good news is the tumor isn’t all in the bone, just around it. And her lungs weren’t full of upset lymph nodes. Maybe we can help her?

Strangely named facility. But they had X-rays.

So we have yet another expensive trip to an even more distant specialty practice on Friday. Not we, just me, because Lee will not get up early to go to a 9 am appointment. Wow, it’s a good thing he works for himself. Sometimes you have to do things on someone else’s schedule.

Goldie appreciates my sacrifice, or would if she had any clue what that was.

I’m just upset so forgive my grumpy talk. This final visit will help me come up with a plan, as I should be able to talk to both an oncologist and surgeon. I hope I make good decisions that the rest of the family will be comfortable with.

I did find a couple of things to enjoy outdoors, watched lots of birds, and laughed at some episodes of Only Murders in the Building. I’m so glad we have streaming now, though I’m perturbed that no one has come to fix our satellite dish.

Mabel and Apache say they are more entertaining than television.

Least of my worries. Tomorrow there’s a mysterious new boss meeting, too. I guess we will know what team we will get stuck under in the reorganization aftermath. Or…

Savor the Highlights

I admit it. I’m spending some time feeling sad about how my dogs are feeling. Goldie is limping more, and Harvey has gone downhill since he couldn’t get downstairs yesterday. He seems confused about why his legs aren’t acting correctly right now. We are, too.

We still don’t know if the lump on his leg, a back injury, a stroke, or his liver issues that are causing his problems, but we are medicating him as hard as we can.

Goldie’s lump is bothering her more, so her meds haven’t done much. Tomorrow we are taking her to a facility in College Station to get X-rays and scans to see what they find. I hope that will help us figure out how to proceed. I’m thankful Tarrin is advising us, since she knows many veterinarians, and is dealing with her own dog challenges.

It was darn good to have some positive work things to balance this out with. I solved a thorny problem in a project that made me feel smart. Then a package arrived that contained my gift from my employer for being a good contractor last quarter. They wrapped it all fancy and festively, and I appreciated it. Being acknowledged for hard work is rare in contract work, so I’m not all cynical like I might be if it was more common. This was a real highlight.

Other than that, I just did my best to enjoy my animal buddies and breathe. They always make my daily highlight reel.

Morning horses and Fiona. Apache is filthy from rolling in mud.

You can’t help but smile when you have hummingbirds and calves to look at and every flycatcher in the area to listen to. Hooray for fewer flies!

Having a balance in life can help you get through challenges. I know so many of you readers are also facing challenges. This time of year seems to bring illnesses, loss of loved ones (humans and animals), and financial woes. Noticing beauty, kindness, and generosity can go a long way toward negotiating change and challenge and bring highlights to a low time.

Vlassic took a nice dip in the pool this afternoon.

I Got Over Focused

Today I got a bee in my bonnet to arrange my list of birds seen in Milam County, Texas phylogenetically. That’s how my friend Ann says most birders want to see their bird lists. Here’s the official list, which is all formal and in Latin.

I prefer informal birds, like these guys in the painting by a local artist that I got as a housewarming gift. I’ve seen all three of these, finally.

I’m not making it that complex. I’m using David Sibley’s English interpretation, which is how most of the checklists I’ve seen for state parks are organized. There are lots of variations, as I discovered when I looked all all Ann’s examples.

Here’s one example, which also tells you what season the bird might appear and if it’s unusual.

I just wanted to satisfy my curiosity about how many birds of each order we have. Once I got started, I just couldn’t stop arranging. I kept going until all the birds were arranged. I’m embarrassed to say I spent at least four hours formatting, cutting, pasting and labeling.

Here’s another example. We have lots more birds here, thanks to migratory visitors.

I sure got fixated on my list! I’ll share it when we are finished.

Here’s yet another Scissortail photo. Look at his tail!

All that concentration meant that I was a bit late getting to the horses, so I got rained on. Yes! Rain! At least it cooled down a bit. I’m not enjoying the fact that our two moderate weather weeks are over.

The heat this morning made bird watching hard. This is my best attempt at a bluebird photo.

I did find a couple of interesting plants today. I was particularly happy to find gomphrena weed on the roadside, because I didn’t know it grew here. I’d seen it before while camping. And I just thought the goldenrod was graceful.

It’s always rewarding to find something new. Living in the moment! Even when hyper focused.

A Day of Bird Fun

I pretty much spent my whole day engaged in bird activities. There was a horse hour or two and a trip to buy dog food, but the rest of the day was for the birds. I do enjoy them, probably because I don’t understand them too well.

I got no bird photos, so enjoy a wildflower, marsh fleabane.

This morning I headed out early (for me on a Saturday) and went to the Wild Wings Bird Sanctuary we are working on. Ann and Phyllis joined me as I did my monthly bird count.

We had lots of eyes, ears, and binoculars, which made finding 25 birds not all that hard. Most of the hummingbird feeders were covered in bees, which annoyed the plentiful Ruby-throated hummingbirds.

There are many new songbird feeders, too.

We practiced our Forest Walking, but didn’t immerse ourselves in it, because we were busy identifying birds and plants. The wooded area was lots of fun, but I got into something itchy.

When we were getting ready to leave, Cindy and Gene Rek brought a big box over to me. It contained two black Cochin hens. These are the big fluffy kind with pretty feathered feet. What a lovely gift!

I hope they end up liking the new housing situation. Cindy and Cathy (the hens, not people) got a bit stressed out by their day and got pretty pale and hot. They have lots of water and food now, and Lee made them new stairs to climb to get into the coop. I hope they figure it out.

Getting them settled was hard because one got out when I was unboxing them. She went under the RV and would not leave even when Lee squirted her with water. I’m thinking that actually felt good. I got her out with my official chicken net that is really a fishing net.

Feeling better, but suspicious of the water dish. They have a bigger water trough but I worried they couldn’t find it.

As if that wasn’t enough bird action, I then spent the evening blogging about the morning and making a list of all birds that have been seen in Milam County on iNaturalist and eBird. Ann wants to have a checklist people can use. I’ll be working on that for a while, but it feels good to contribute!

This friend walked by while I was doing my morning sit. It just grunted a greeting and kept going.

Birding activity was a good way to take my mind off dogs and such.

Calm Vibes All Around

This I know: if I send calm thoughts out, breathe deeply, and center myself, life’s a lot easier. It’s certainly made life with the animals better. All that nature walking really has helped!

Today I spent a lot of time with the horses. We tend to end up in a feedback loop of good vibes these days. Watching them interacting gently calms me down and me being calm makes them easy to work with. I’m very glad the period of stress and pain for us all is becoming a dim memory.

I enjoy watching them showing signs of affection. It’s mostly Drew, Mabel, and Dusty, though.

Apache seems to take his leadership role very seriously. At least he’s friendly with me. My daily hugs and exercise are good for us both. We’ve worked hard to get in synch and I can tell he’s in better spirits now.

I’ve tried giving him his medicine in gel caps. It takes away the smell, but then he goes and chomps on the capsule and tastes the pill. We will figure something out. Maybe I should stick them in bananas.

I finally got to where I could make myself clean out the chicken coop and run. The chicken killings were hard on me. But today I murdered all the cocklebur and birdseed plants that had grown up in the main section. That was a very unpleasant task, especially since it’s gotten hot again suddenly.

I also cleaned the evidence of poultry genocide in the coop building. I wore a mask, so I didn’t get sick like last time, and I used my horse poop shovel to clean the floor. It was really tricky maneuvering the bulky shovel but I managed.

There is a chance new chickens will magically appear tomorrow. I will insist on keeping them penned up. I’m not sure if Bianca will join them now that she thinks she’s a horse. Even she has calm vibes now, and she used to be a jumpy hen.

I love horse food, especially Dusty’s pellets.

No dog news. They all seem stable. That’s better than it could be, so we will keep enjoying them.

Little Miss Forest Bather

I read a lot. Apparently what I read sinks into my being and comes out unbidden, making me think I have original ideas. Or maybe I repeat other people’s ideas unbidden.

All creativity borrows from others. Um, this is a Clouded Skipper with an interesting wing. It’s just here because it’s pretty.

Anyway, I laughed at myself a lot this evening at our Master Naturalist meeting. The speaker was a very nice woman with whom I can tell I have much in common. The second she saw me she complimented my shoes, for example (I do highly recommend Converse high tops with the comfort insole—mmm comfy).

Comfortable and cute as heck. I designed them.

Anyway, the speaker is an accredited leader in shinrin-ryoku or forest bathing, which is a formalized way of doing what I do every dang day. I’ve read about it a lot since it was developed in Japan and love the fact that they’ve done research that shows the positive effects of hanging out in nature with intent. You know, what makes intuitive sense to folks like me. But now there’s science!

Apache says his favorite part of the formal forest walks would be the tea ceremony afterward. He is preparing tea from dried dove weed leaves. He wouldn’t touch a living plant.

What tickled me was that as she talked, every time she was at a loss for words or needed help with a concept, I just blurted out helpful information. Wow, is all that information easily accessible in my brain. I was either quite helpful or annoying. But, the information she provided was in essence a more formalized distillation of what I yammer on and on about in this blog and on Facebook every day. So I knew her talk, just not her reference material. I just stood/sat there smiling to myself through the whole thing.

I just kept laughing at myself whenever she suggested a practice, like sitting for 20 minutes or so in one place every day and just absorbing your surroundings. Yup. I do that in what Lee calls my Birding Chair. Before the chair, I just stood up, in any weather, except rain. Little did I know, that chair is my Sit Spot and there’s a whole book on it. I should have asked my friend Ann, who also does all this stuff but DID read the books.

Me and Ann being silly after the presentation.

I feel quite au courant with all my woodland wanderings and spot sitting. However, my urge to identify things as a naturalist means many of my walks aren’t forest bathing at all. But that’s okay with me. The Shinto/Zen side of me can coexist with my inner taxonomist. It all keeps me centered and happier.

If I were into more structured events, I’d consider taking the training to be one of the guides in this discipline. It must be very rewarding to see people experience nature washing over them for the first time. It can be so healing, and we all need that!

For further reading (I have permission to share)

Let’s Duet

There was a funny/punny song from the movie Walk Hard called Let’s Duet that made it sound like the singers wanted to “do it,” and it always made me laugh. Today’s duets might have been about hooking up, too, for all I know.

As we all know, flowers are about sex, too. This is a false foxglove. I’d been waiting for them to bloom.

Basically, large birds of prey had things to tell each other today.

First, when I went on my morning walk, there was a Red-Shouldered Hawk making a lot of racket. As I walked down the road, it became obvious there were at least two hawks. It’s interesting to me that once they start duetting, you can tell the difference between birds. I couldn’t figure out the topic of their communication, but it did keep the other birds quiet. I didn’t hear a House Sparrow until late afternoon!

I came back to work after enjoying four different woodpeckers, including a booming Pileated hard at work on some poor tree. I enjoyed watching it go up and down as it pecked.

Digression

After a pleasant lunch with my rather giddy friends who’d all watched the same televised event last night, there was more work (including a chat with a guy in Scotland whose daughter loves horses).

Speaking of horses, look at this good boy.

I decided I feel better, so while the horses were eating, I chopped down more evil cocklebur plants. I’ve discovered that the plants eat my arms and make little cuts and peeling skin. But I did it anyway. I love watching them shrivel up. Apache and Fiona toss the stems around.

Drew, on the other hand, now asks me to spray the water hose near him so he can drink it. His lips get all flappy and I can’t stop laughing. Too bad I can’t get a photo, because my hands are full. He really can be funny.

By the time I was finished lopping, I realized it had gotten hot outside and I’m actually not completely better. I have to go a bit more slowly still.

Back to Duets

To recover from the bur attacking, I sat by the pool to watch the birds, only there weren’t many. All the cute little Cave Swallows must have been flocking the last few days, because they are gone. Boom. Safe travels, Swallows!

The other birds were lying low because of the next duet, which was between Great Horned Owls. I usually hear a few hoots, but tonight it was just like the hawks earlier, a long and complicated interaction. Again, you could distinguish the two birds. It was just beautiful. It made me feel all autumnal, even if it got again.

Have a good night or day!

Let’s Talk about Support

If anyone reading this isn’t struggling in some way, I’m glad for you, but a bit surprised. These seem to be hard times for most folks I know. And it doesn’t look like things are getting any easier. I vote that we all do the right thing and support each other. Let’s cut each other some slack. Some of us could really use kindness and empathy right now.

Share what’s good in the world. This is a Phoebe.

We got more sad dog news today and are trying to figure out what to do about Goldie’s bone cancer. I needed support and to just talk about it. Thank goodness I have a friend who I can talk to, who’s going through similar canine concerns.

The horse trailer is back, and I was glad to go to lessons again. Yes, I wanted to learn horse stuff, but I also wanted to talk to Tarrin and engage in mutual support about our dogs and other family issues. Talking really helped me think things through, and I hope I was a good listener for her. And of course I loved on her sick dog.

I also loved on Christmas. He’s love-a-bull.

The lessons were good, too. Apache amazes me. He is doing so well and keeps making progress even with time off. He improved on the dreaded side pass (hooray) and was very patient when I worked on posting at the trot. He’s become a real treasure. We have both calmed down so we can learn.

Drew is doing much better with me, too, though he had some challenges today. That lovely filly of Tarrin’s gets him all rattled. At least this time, Tarrin was on him. But he settled down after ground work and was fine afterwards. He just has to grow out of losing focus on his human leaders. it ain’t easy.

He needs to breathe deeply, just like I do.

The horse lessons are so helpful to me, as is the support I get from Tarrin. We have so much in common yet challenge each other. That is what we need right now, to see past our superficial differences to our common humanity.

Find yourself someone to support or to be supportive to. It’s a great counterweight to the struggles and challenges we are going through as humans.

I Deserve a Medal

Whew. Today I exhibited more patience than I knew I had, and finally triumphed over the maze of confusion known as AT&T/Direct TV customer support. I win.

My actual reward is a glass of lemonade. I deserve it, too.

Refreshing, though everything makes me choke since I was sick.

You see, last week our DirectTV stopped working. I called to get repairs scheduled, because Lee is easily annoyed with service providers. I believed I had it scheduled for today.

I was as relaxed as Penney in her cool, freshly dug hole, guarded by the Giant Shedding Machine.

In the meantime, we joined the modern world, and hooked the Apple TV up so we could watch television on it. Well, except that DirectTV and Disney are quarreling again, so we had to watch ABC on the antenna.

Aaron Rogers, shown in antenna TV, expresses my frustration.

Over the weekend we used streaming, which we’d been avoiding due to our rural bandwidth issues. It feels so modern to watch football on Peacock and Tulsa King on Paramount +. Kathleen will be very proud of us.

Then came today. No repair person showed. So, I dialed the number someone had left in a text. It was a magic number. It let me actually get help and service. In a mere 2.5 hours I got all my telecommunications needs met. It was a LONG 2.5 hours.

First I talked to a nice woman who determined that no repair person came because there is ONE technician in our area (Waco) and they got injured last week. Apparently they tried calling me but it came up as Spam Risk so I didn’t answer, and they didn’t leave messages. Grr. DirectTV is looking for a substitute, but as of now, I have no prospect of getting the dish realigned.

What a load of bull. Wait, that’s a cow.

Next, I talked to a billing guy. He was hard to understand, but tried to figure out my bill and my two different accounts. What he accomplished was to get money taken off our bill since we have no satellite. He was also able to tell me what phone numbers were associated with our account. Holy cow, there were eight. Four phones, a hotspot, two watches, and a “device” of some kind. That was unsatisfactory. I now understood why Lee said the phone bill was so high. That had to change. But billing guy couldn’t do that.

Beautiful Mabel approves. She grew a mane!

That fellow successfully transferred me to a very nice young woman who works for the mobility department, which is extra separate from the television department, the billing department, and the internet department. This woman and I spent at least an hour straightening things out. The bill is now halved, with fewer gigs on the RV hotspot, only phones for me and my children (yes, even the uncommunicative one), and no watches. We determined they don’t need to have their own numbers. I’d been trying to get these things cancelled for months, but the “helpful” app wouldn’t let me get to my phone info.

Modern life is hard.

But I’m stubborn and persistent as a Fiona.

I did enjoy talking to the agent about camping, Native American history, and the weird weather lately. That’s what happens when you’re kind to the people on the phone. She worked hard to fix my account, too.

However, she could not help with my final issue, which was to get the wifi setup cancelled on the Red House, since we aren’t renting it out anymore. That was a different department. So she transferred me and because the system only wanted to give me a call back on my landline from when I lived in Round Rock, I had to wait on hold.

Waiting, like all these Scissortails are.

That’s okay, I spent 15 minutes weeding nut grass in the pool flower bed. This made the next customer support lady laugh when I told her I had to crawl out of the flower bed to find my account number. But by gosh, she was able to cancel that account! All I have to do is return the equipment. Ugh.

Still, I did it! I finally got the right people to help me, didn’t get disconnected, and didn’t lose my cool. This is a true sign of modern competency.

I’m Inconsistent

Here’s an admission, one we probably can all relate to in our own ways. I can embrace two conflicting beliefs and feel fine about it.

I hope Carlton isn’t judging me for this.

I’ve always been quick to smugly point out cognitive dissonance in others when I spot it. It does make you feel like you’re intellectually superior, like you’d never do such a thing. But I bet you do.

I’m pretty sure Goldie IS judging me there from her recuperation spot.

Here’s my example. I’m not at all comfortable with violence. War disturbs me deeply, as does killing of other humans in other situations. I can’t fathom why my friends and neighbors want to arm themselves so they can be ready to kill at a moment’s notice. I’ve no tolerance for domestic violence. Yeah, quite the pacifist wimp, I know.

But today I watched three professional American football games enthusiastically, especially when the Dallas Cowboys were playing. I enjoy the strategy and athleticism of the game. But there’s a lot of hitting, pushing, falling, and hurting involved. Hmm. How on earth can I love football and hate violence?

There’s no good answer. Part of it is the culture I was raised in, which is a subset of American culture that lacks the gun worship, but has the sports enjoyment feature. It’s just how I ended up.

I’m a mix of values and beliefs I got from my parents, schools, mentors, and books. Photo from Pexels.

I could work on being more consistent. Alternatively, I could just live with it, just like all those Christians who hate people who look or talk differently, or the law and order folks who are fine with electing a lying criminal as their leader. Our minds work in mysterious ways. Asking humans to be logical and consistent is probably asking too much.

Go Cowboys.