The two most frightening days of my adult life are remembered by dates. One is 911. I still have dreams of being lost at O’Hare airport and can hear in my mind the sound of my plane’s captain telling us his colleagues and many others had just perished. I had the same feeling of living a nightmare on January 6, 2021. I can’t remember why I was watching a news channel then, but I was. I was terrified that the mob would kill lawmakers or burn down the US Capitol. I guess I expected terrorists to act that way, but not our citizens.
Today I did not forget. I saw it with my own eyes. It was real.
What’s also real is that there are millions of good, kind, ethical and law-abiding people in this country. I will not forget that, either. I had conversations all day that reminded me of it. I was reminded of how much we have in common, even if we grew up in different places. I was reminded of how even folks with values unlike mine mostly try to be good people, even if they don’t quite hit the mark (thinking of Mom).
I also discovered that I don’t have to think every person is a “good guy” for them to matter. People do awful things. They do. I can be disgusted by things people say and do but still see their humanity. Sounds simple but it’s hard for me to get my head around. Like my coworker’s grandmother said, “everybody’s a little crazy.” All of us.
I felt good today wearing my “You matter” shirt and painting good intentions into poorly lettered Reminder Rocks. it helped me send out positive thoughts, energy, intentions, or vibes even on this scary day. I kept channeling acceptance until I felt okay.
Reminder!
If we stick together in spite of our differences maybe we can turn this country into a less scary place, one kindness at a time. And even if we don’t, we can’t say we didn’t try.
I listened to a lot of CNN News (what Lee likes) and NPR (my preference) today. Much of it was helpful in seeing multiple perspectives on current events, though by the time I was heading toward the year-end awards ceremony for Working Horse Central, I was feeling pretty glum.
Luckily the subject of On the Media switched to a discussion of whether the US is in its worst shape, has lost hope, etc., and while that sounds depressing, it helped me get a wider perspective. Brooke Gladstone talked to Bryan Stevenson, public interest lawyer and founder of the Equal Justice Initiative, a human rights organization based in Montgomery, Alabama, and he masterfully reminded her of how far the country backslid in race relations after the Civil War. He told a healing story about reconciliation, which reminded me and the rest of the audience that we still have many good people in this place and that we just need to keep going. (This was the January 2 episode, but the interview was in April 2025—look it up!)
National Memorial for Peace and Justice in Montgomery. These pillars are memorials to people who were lynched, county by county. Stevenson directs it.
The point is that uplifting and encouraging stories like the one I heard don’t downplay real-life challenges, but don’t ignore progress and positive actions. And NPR and other news outlets do feature them (and book reviews, science stories, etc.) if you happen to be listening at the right time.
I asked the AI to make me with “pleasant news only,” but it sucks.
So what I wish existed was a service that pings you or sends you a schedule for when non-depressing news and information is coming up. Or one that switched to soothing music each time certain officials are quoted, discussed at length, etc. I can take about five minutes of the latest depths to which this country’s leadership has fallen to. After that, let me learn about something else. Please, someone invent that or point me to it.
ChatGPT can at least spell.
Sorry for the rant. 2026 already feels 12 months long. But I did enjoy time with the nice horses and riders this morning, I enjoyed my own horses, especially Apache, and I enjoyed dinner with friends.
Mimosas made me happyTarrin teaching her baby stallionMy favorite mare of Tarrin’s getting warmed up. She’s still learning. Jackie is a great role model for groundwork. Smooth and responsive.
I feel better realizing that there has been injustice throughout our history, but there are always people fighting it.
My new game I play every day is to see how much further the current US President can sink into the pit of disgusting behaviors he’s creating. Honest, I’ve been trying to ignore it, but my body tells me that ain’t working.
I’m not going to list things that make me physically sick. You either have noticed them all or have some excuse that lets you put it aside so you can maintain your beliefs. We all do that.
Flower break! Henbit is up and starting to bloom. Good news for the chickens.
I’m just pissed off that it’s giving me anxiety pain and hurting others in much worse ways. I’m hoping the downward spiral breaks soon and we can live in only a semi-weird country, not a batshit crazy one.
I need to make another of these rocks for me.
At least it was a pleasant enough day and I got all my errands done, including lunch with our accountant. He’s a character, but then, my previous accountant was a Hare Krishna with bells on his office chair to remind him to chant.
Tomorrow will be another sunrise closer to the Winter Solstice. I’m gonna have to burn a big Yule log
Remember I still care for ALL of you. There should be room in our hearts for disagreement.
Of the services that deliver packages to our house, one used to be my favorite, FedEx. They always brought my stuff up the driveway and once the driver helped us when a member of the family fell and got overheated. The USPS woman is just fine, while UPS had a woman who wouldn’t bring anything to the house, so I had to go tote them (like horse feed—heavy).
Enjoy my latest mandala. It’s bright.
Suddenly, starting a few months ago, FedEx decided that our driveway didn’t exist and started dumping packages at the next driveway that leads to the cow operation barn and my son’s cabin. It’s usually in long grass. I’ve been annoyed.
Oh look. I have moody brown nails, matching how I felt about my deliveries.
I thought I’d fixed it by getting online help from their Facebook page. I was wrong. I was probably talking to a bot. My packages continued to go to the wrong place. I despaired of ever getting the problem fixed since calling and website checking did not help.
Nope, none of this happened. I could not track the case. Grr.
But yay! On Thursday I had gotten the mail then was out working on the round pen when I saw it! The dang truck was dropping something off next door. I dropped the stuff in my hands and sprinted (translation: jogged briskly) to the road to catch the driver before the truck passed. My quads still hurt.
But I did it! I got the guy to stop. He started to “diffuse” me immediately. I wonder if he realized that pissed me off more. I was just trying to say my driveway is not where he dropped off packages. I felt justified in telling him how hard it was to tell FedEx their GPS software was wrong.
Indeed, it was. Whoever took over for the previous drivers (nice woman and man) had moved the pin on their Maps software to the wrong driveway, because like Apple Maps, it doesn’t acknowledge our driveway for some reason. Apple Maps is annoying that way, thinking there’s a driveway from the other driveway. That’s been gone for years.
The red line is our driveway, where the mailbox is. The yellow path is not a road.
The upshot of it all is that the guy moved the pin and added a note. I’m patiently awaiting the next delivery. But I think I finally triumphed. I hope.
I have as much hope as this out-of-season pink evening primrose.
I’m not doing myself any favors by watching the news. And it’s really not a good idea to listen to friends’ conspiracy theories. I try to avoid them but they sneak in, leading to nightmares like I used to get during the “duck and cover” years. Yes, yes, I’m too sensitive.
I always felt bad about those trees. And the people nearby.
I get told “they” are making lists of us members of a nonexistent terrorist organization. I can’t find the local meeting schedule or the state office. Maybe I don’t know the secret handshake? I don’t wear the correct golden pin on my lapel? Besides, I thought we fought whole wars against certain kinds of dictatorships. Anyway, if you’re putting me on a list, note that I tried to be kind.
Maybe that Mockingbird who watches me so closely is secretly a spy drone. I hope my birding doesn’t put the people watching the footage to sleep.
I get told to not mention certain topics while my phone is “listening,” and I guess I should be careful what I blog about, since the Chinese are so interested in my writing (really, that still cracks me up). No wonder my subconscious can get paranoid.
Lest you think I was kidding, check out these September 17 stats.
Heck, I did a Mabon tarot reading tonight with my online group, and YOW. It was paranoid! I got the nightmare card, the card about being trapped, and one about swimming against the tide. The rest were all unpleasant wands. My tarot friends pointed out that there IS an escape route on that 8 of swords, and the blindfold can be undone.
Run! (From Robin Wood Tarot)
All kidding aside, I think my subconscious is just trying to ensure that I don’t wear rose-colored glasses so thick that they allow me to sink so far into denial that I don’t notice important indicators of potential danger. Whatever happens is going to happen, though, so dwelling on possibilities won’t change things—paying attention and swimming against the current without letting myself drown—seems prudent.
From the Gaian Tarot
And by the way. Things keep breaking. Our upstairs air conditioner’s fan decided now would be a good time to quit working. We will add air conditioner repair to the list, along with RV generator repair. I’m now laughing at it. I promise I’m not invoking broken infrastructure!
Never fear! I have a fan!
And don’t worry, there’s plenty of good stuff to balance things out, appropriate for the season. At least I knew the Rapture wasn’t gonna come get me. I appreciate the wisdom of Jesus, but not what’s been done in his name, especially lately.
There are some practices and “mind tricks“ I use to stay on a level key while the world of people, politics, and ethics changes to something almost unrecognizable. Note that I am not describing how to remain calm (I no longer know what that means or if anyone is “sane“ anymore). But rather I want to share what I do to keep myself productive, centered, and able to find joy/good/happiness.
I wrote this all out by hand. I needed to write.
Spend as much time outdoors as possible, doing chores, getting exercise, relaxing—it all counts.
You might see spring flowers in September!
Meditate. I count some of my bird observation is this – deep focus on breathing sound, etc. turning off the internal chatter (when I dictated the text, this came out as “cheddar”) that adds to anxiety.
Stay in the moment. Be aware of your surroundings. Pay attention to people and things around you. This lets you see moments of peace and beauty amid broader chaos.
Limit exposure to negativity. Stop listening to provocative sources of information remove controversial people from your life as much as possible – if you must be around someone (coworker, family, or service provider) set boundaries and only interact on neutral topics so you can just walk away physically or mentally.
Assume good intentions. Remind yourself that people who upset you mostly aren’t doing so to bother you —often they think they are doing good —so treat them kindly, assuming they are well intentioned from their perspective, and let them share their thoughts, but let unintentionally hurtful things flow over you —you can be kind and not let the harmful stuff inside you.
Treat people kindly. Doing something nice for no other reason than it’s the right thing to do makes you feel better and invites good to come back to you.
Be grateful. Take the kindness of others in and be grateful for it. Expressed your gratitude, because a lot of people really seem to crave the positive affirmation, and it doesn’t hurt to help them out.
Give yourself permission to relax and retreat. Read a book watch a funny or engaging television show or video. Do this in moderation. Hiding in Facebook or on TikTok can be a problem.
Remind yourself of connections. However you are connected to other people, groups and cultures, treasure your own connections to your groups and enjoy them—just not to the exclusion of others. We are ALL family. (OK I’m preaching here.)
—All X people are evil/my enemy. No, the ideas they are being fed are the issue, not the people. Be angry at the source, which most likely is corporate interests (says Suna and Robert Reich).
—I can’t do anything about X. No, by keeping yourself strong and focused on positive and constructive ideas and practices you are doing something.
—Person X drives me batty. Guess what? You choose your reaction to person X. Change it.
Laugh. Find people places or media that make you laugh or laugh at yourself kindly.
Enjoy animals. Domesticated or wild, they share our earth and are good enough to share their calm or funniness. Horses and dogs help me.
Recognize your limitations. We can’t do everything or fix every problem. Choose your battles and let go of minor issue. Discern what is within your capacity to change and do those things.
Hint: you can’t change other people‘s personalities and entrenched beliefs. You can change your reaction. This is a big lesson.
Love yourself. Remind yourself that you are lovable just as you are. Your mistakes and flaws do not define you or make you less deserving of love. It’s great to be loved and to accept love coming your way, but you aren’t defined by whether or not someone loves you. Everyone else is lovable too, just maybe not by you, sometimes
Your spiritual guides (God, spirit, goddess Buddha) love you just the way you are, too. If yours places conditions on its love consider another alternative.
Don’t hate people. If you want something to abhor there are plenty of other options. I abhor war, gun, violence, intolerance, corporate, greed, dysfunctional government, unethical propaganda, and institutions set up to divide people rather than unite them. I don’t hate people. Something made them the way they are, even egomaniacs and psychopaths. Hatred does not make anything better.
Forgive. Let go of resentment towards bullies mean people, hurtful individuals, etc. Letting resentment fester does not lead to peace. People screw up. Forgive them like you’d like to be when you screw up. You can’t fix some folks, but you can forgive them and move on.
Take care who you trust. Confirmation bias is real. Don’t just trust people who agree with you automatically. Instead, trust people with no vested interest in manipulating you or your emotions or in encouraging divisive thinking. This is hard, I know.
Surround yourself with things that make you happy (spark Joy ha ha ha). This will be different for each of us. I have lots of objects that help me: crystals, figurines of birds and horses, live flowers when possible, a cheerful coffee mug, a journal covered with stickers, colored pins, books art made by me or my family, and so much more. Other people might need minimal distractions to feel happy some need clean surroundings things that smell, good etc. You do you and don’t let others’ opinions of your surroundings bother you. They can do their own stuff. (Now, shared spaces require compromise, of course. There can be no fun scents in a house that contains my spouse.)
So much sparking of joy here.
Move around. When you’re feeling overwhelmed or sad or afraid you can want to just stay in bed or your chair and curl up. But try to remind yourself that moving around/exercise is one of the best ways to lift your spirits. Even marching around your house or dancing to music helps. I like to take walks so I can observe beauty around me and experience the world with all my senses. Riding my horse is also very helpful, because I need to focus on what I’m doing rather than other issues.
Do some crafts. Making things helps you focus on something you enjoy, and creating items for others is an act of kindness thate brings positivity into your life.
July and August of my temperature blanket project.
Readinspirational or beautiful material. I love my nature books, and my magazines about horses, art, home improvement, and spirituality. Just be sure to find uplifting and interesting content. I have to limit my political and historical reading.
And finally, remember what the scripture below tells us.
Ephesians 6:12 (image by S Budig)
Tee hee. I, too, can cherry pick Bible verses that support my point.
So…what other ideas do you have to share with others as we try to get through this time together?
I think Americans should stop using their beloved guns to kill other people.
Here she goes again. No one is listening, says the greatest Egret ever.
It’s been made very clear that people love collecting weapons (knives and such, too) that aren’t designed to be helpful tools but rather to end the lives of other people. It makes them feel good. It makes them feel safe. Most of them do not plan to kill anyone else…unless they feel it’s justified.
All these folks murdering children in schools, former coworkers, their domestic partners, people of different religions, ethnic backgrounds, or political beliefs…they all feel justified.
Under the moon’s influence?
This society has lost the ability to act ethically. Otherwise we’d not think it’s okay to kill under certain circumstances (that you get to define).
Go ahead and use your guns and knives as the tools they were intended to be. I’m not in charge of your reality, mindset, or philosophy. I’m not some liberal snowflake or whatever the latest put-down is. I’m just begging you to actually pay attention to what your religious figures tell you. They tell you to be kind to others. Respect other living beings. Find a moral compass and follow it.
I’ll just be over here coloring.
Oh well. People are being told to hate, so they will. At least I can enjoy the demise of civilization with a nice horse. Today there was ZERO drama, and we did the “scary” and hilly part of our paths. And Drew was good for Vicki.
He is telling me to stop dawdling and unsaddle him.
I can’t ignore the outside world but I can treasure the goodness and love that surrounds me.
One. The best time to go to Costco on the weekend in a college town is during a home football game. Everyone but nerds, Goths, old hippies (us), and people with toddlers whose piercing screams can damage hearing are at the game or watching it with friends. Perhaps the screaming toddler is optional.
Very empty Costco parking lot as the sun was going down.
Two. If you happen to get overheated (say the only time you had during the day to exercise your horse is around noon in high humidity), go inside and cool down while hydrating before jumping into a shower, even if you need to leave to go have fun. If you shower while your body temperature is still elevated, you will commence sweating after you “dry off,” and if you have whatever syndrome has caused me to sweat rivers, you will be dripping and soaking your clean clothing. Thus, you’ll stay overheated longer and negate the shower. The fun can wait.
Dusty says he knew that.
Three. All those influencers should STFU about the pressing need for all older women to “do something” about their “belly fat” or “fat apron.” First, since nearly every older woman I know develops this at a certain age, it seems to be normal and nothing to feel shame over. Second, what if that fat is where all our wisdom that can’t fit in our brains lives? I keep reading how important the gut is to mental functioning. Maybe it is doing something important down there.
Garfield has a wisdom belly.
I’m going to call it my wisdom belly, pat it, and thank it for doing its job, whatever it actually is.
Those are my thoughts. Now for an observation that surprised me. We went to the Barnes and Noble in College Station today, because I miss good bookstores. The only ones I get to these days are the little one in Rockdale that’s full of fantasy and romance books and the BookPeople branch in the Austin airport (a mere shadow of the real magnificent store).
More sunset
Both Lee and I enjoyed ourselves very much. I had a nice time looking at the other patrons, their ages, their clothing, their mannerisms. I caught myself thinking, “Wow, these people look so normal.” You see, it was those same Goths, nerds, old (very) hippies, gamers, and professorial types I’d later see in Costco. Apparently that’s my idea of normal?
Even more sunset
Upon reflection I realized that other than the past five or so years, I’ve lived in cities with universities and lots of engineers (Gainesville, Urbana-Champaign, and Austin). My jobs have been with writers and software developers. Yep. That’s what I see as “normal,” not ranchers, farmers, cowboys, small-town business people, and rural poor folks.
Final sunset picture
I wonder how long it will take for my brain to feel as at home in Cameron or Temple (more of a military area) as I do in college towns? I don’t feel bad about discovering this about myself. I’m sure everyone feels more comfortable in familiar surroundings. But I’ve been out here a good while, know lots of people, have great friends…so I’m a little disappointed that I haven’t assimilated very well. I’m still from another culture. Hmm.
Hey, I do have a yard full of tractors and other such conveyances.
A friend posted that today was Murphy’s Law Day. Suddenly, I understood my morning.
I felt like this poor bird grasshopper who keeled over right in front of me today.
The power glitches last night had both my computer systems confused. I couldn’t get my peripherals to work right. Every way I tried to plug my monitors and camera in failed.
I got frustrated. Then I found out I’d botched setting up meetings in India. I lost cables. I spilled a soda on my desk. Ugh.
Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.
Thanks, Captain Murphy at Edward’s Air Force e Base, who came up with this saying. You are right some days.
I was ready to join these Purple Martins and migrate outa here.
I persisted, though, and by 3 pm I had my work setup functioning. I just plugged things into and out of the weird docking station with no instructions until things worked. I just have too many cables and power sources.
I even broke a nail. Woe is me.
Middle finger has repair. The others are shorter.
My friends at lunch thought I was going to explode, but the hour away from blank monitors did me good! And I did have a couple of good work meetings. So Murphy wasn’t everywhere.
But like Penney watching cows, I didn’t take my guard down in case of new complications.
By the end of the day after a successful session with Apache the horse followed by a cold rum and soda, I was fine. Life has ups and downs!
Tarot card of the day
Eight of swords
Ha. The Gaian Tarot has an image of people working cooperatively. I did a bit of that today. Sorry I forgot to take a photo.
Robin Wood shows how I really felt today., however.
I was feeling pretty trapped my technology issues, but I found that path out, the one shown in the card. Whew.
You can certainly get accustomed to your technology. When it fails, your day can go downhill fast. That was my experience when my deal with the Devil, otherwise known as a subscription to the Musky StarLink Satellite Connectivity Godsend. When it’s good, it’s our link to the world. When it’s bad, wow, you feel disconnected!
Where’s my dang Internet?
StarLink went down in the middle of my work day. It did not help that my backup plan, connecting to my phone hotspot, was unavailable. AT&T was displaying SOS. Yup. The phone was out of commission, too. I was hosed.
Just waiting for the vultures to start circling my dead connectivity.
It’s hard to tell your coworkers why you’re not at meetings when your only option is to send them a letter, ya know? But, it’s not common and the system is mostly reliable. Still, Lee and I both have had fleeting thoughts about what would happen if someone attacked the satellites we rely on. Back to the olden days? Eek.
I do still write things by hand, like my bullet journal.
Anyway, StarLink came back. And I went out and rode my horse in the intense heat and sweated all that paranoia off!
Tarot card of the day
Man, this new practice of drawing a card a day after many years without it is very different. The thing that’s taking some getting used to is how darned encouraging the cards are so far. Today? 9 of Pentacles.
Look at that happy lady.
This card is about having all you need (in material things) and feeling content. That’s exactly how I’ve been feeling with regard to my physical situation these days. I can’t imagine having a more pleasant and supportive setup in my life, designed to keep me mentally healthy and stable no matter what else is going on.
The 9 of Pentacles reminds me of how kind my family has been to provide this safe haven at the Hermits’ Rest. I have my animals, my pool, the porch, my books, and all that yarn. Material things aren’t necessary, but for some of us they provide comfort, security, and stability when everything around us is unstable.
The Hermits' Rest 