Ramblings – Page 21 – The Hermits' Rest

Bring Home the Groceries (and good news)

List your top 5 grocery store items.

It’s funny that this prompt came up today, because I haven’t had much time to go grocery shopping and ran out of one of my most precious items: coffee creamer. I just love how long that stuff lasts, which real cream does not. And I actually prefer no sweetener in my coffee, but that Italian Sweet Cream sure starts my day off well.

Today’s sunrise also started the day off well, so well it still looked good around 8:30.

What are my other four top grocery items? They squash my self image as a healthy eater. I’m afraid it’s Coke Zero, pop tarts (fruit), cheese, and yogurt. I assure you things like salad greens, tomatoes, onions, and tuna are also present. I eat a wide variety but need my emergency pop tarts.

I could eat dandelion greens in an emergency. We always have them.

On to the good news. I may have mentioned that Drew, the gray teen horse, got kicked in the head by Fiona the donkey a few weeks ago. Since then he hasn’t liked having his head touched, which created a problem due to his habit of eating among cockleburs, which got all over his forelock, the “bangs” on the front of a horse’s head.

This is on a day when I got some of them out.

He had been picking on the other horses, acting unfriendly towards me, and shaking his head if I put on a halter or bridle. I could barely ride him, so I mostly have been doing stuff on the ground. Well, today I had extra time, so I got him some hay, groomed him, and then tried but removal again.

Yesterday, while waiting for Sara to come look at Apache, he let me get all the burs out of his tail, which looked sort of like a mop in the process of being wrung before I started. I took that as a good sign.

So today I started on the part of his name farthest from his face and moved upwards. There was some gnarly stuff in there, but I gently separated the mess (wearing my gloves, of course). I gave him lots of rest time and much hay. When I got to the hard part, the top of his head, he got agitated. I had carefully put a web halter on at its loosest setting, but his head still itched. Poor guy.

I eventually got ALL the burs off. I think he eventually figured out I was helping. When I was finished he let me rub all over his little fro. Burs are like tiny hair curlers. Then he let me rub on his face, where the cut had been and I’d spilled oil the first time I’d de-burred him. Wow!

His reward was getting to graze in the round pen.

He was still agitated when we got to Tarrin’s for a lesson. He was hard to lead and his ears were back. So Tarrin did some cranial-fascial work on him and slowly he stopped head tossing. He had obviously been injured and knocked out of alignment. Probably had a concussion or hairline fracture, poor guy. Maybe that has taught him to avoid Fiona’s hooves. He seemed much happier when his skull and jaw were realigned.

Tarrin then worked with his behavior and got him more settled after realizing his back end also hurt (I’m guessing from rearing and kicking with Dusty). By the time she was done, he was paying attention to her nicely, doing good lateral movements, and acting sweet again.

She told me that if he starts acting mean again that he must not feel good. I’ll bear that in mind. He just needs to be walked over poles for the next week.

Yes, it’s true. Neither of my riding horses can be ridden right now. Apache is no worse, and I am to start soaking his feet in epsom salts and water to try to draw out his abscess. He does get to be set free of the pens, though, because walking is good for him.

And he will have pain meds for a few days. That boy is on a LOT of medication!

I feel bad for both of them being in pain, but I think Droodles is gonna be better soon. Hope Apache is just a few more weeks to get better.

And the sun sets on another day. Birds tomorrow.

Yes, What I Expected

Is your life today what you pictured a year ago?

A year ago? I figured the uncertainty and long parade of unexpected setbacks around me would continue. They did. I also figured I’d just stick to dealing with what I could control, and I was pretty successful at that. Honestly, with a pessimistic outlook like that, focusing on the moment and your own business is a good plan.

Twilight of the day, of the year, of this life. All good.

At this point last year I’d already concluded that nothing I do is going to change how people who once loved me treat me now, and that my best tactic is to love the people I love without any limits, just appropriate boundaries. That’s worked, too! Hmm, I’m reminded of the fictional dating service they had on Saturday Night Live called “Lowered Expectations.”

I decided around this time a couple of years ago to drop expectations of how others will act and to step back from trying to get closer to people I care about. I just go out and be me. That’s truly worked out well, because I’ve felt more welcome and appreciated in my community since then.

I’ll go my own way, with a peaceful heart

I think I’ll keep it up, and keep enjoying the beauty around me and snatching up fun times as they occur. There will be more bouncy houses, I hope!

Speaking of fun, I had a nice brunch this morning with Pouri, and we got to talk a bit. Then I enjoyed an stress-free drive home, even in Dallas. Plano sure looks clean and tidy compared to Cameron. Quite a contrast!

I’m glad to be back with my messy horses and barking dogs (one snoring).

Did I answer the question? I expected little change for me, personally, but lots around me. That is how it worked out.

Daily Bird

Today Merlin heard a kestrel! That made me happy, because I rarely see or hear them here on the Hermits’ Rest ranch, though I see one all the time down by my neighbor’s place. I guess individuals don’t have a large territory.

They sure are beautiful little birds. I’ve seen them catch food a couple of times and go back to their telephone or electric wires. I wonder what they say on before those were invented? (Trees)

Birds and Babes

Today I’m starting off with the birds, because even though I had limited bird time today, I got a lot of fun sights and sounds in.

I think the cardinals are posing. They’re everywhere, flapping and chirping.

The most dramatic sight was watching the red-tailed hawk get chased off her perch by a crow (I say “her” because the hawk is very large). I got some good photos and turned a couple of the live ones into little movies.

The start

More pestering

Hawk is annoyed

The other birds, meanwhile were just all a-flutter. The Harris’s sparrows were really busy, but there were 8 other kinds in the mix. I also enjoyed a couple of wrens and house finch groups that weren’t at all shy. It was fun! But I had to leave.

Babes?

I left home to go to Plano to see baby Ruby, who is actually a two-year-old chatterbox now. I also went to see Pouri and Elmira/Ellie, my Persian “sister” and bonus daughter. I miss them a lot, because they’ve always welcomed me and treated me so kindly. It feels so great to feel unconditional love!

I’m not that tall. My shoes have hidden heels I think.

I really enjoyed the party, because Ellie and Jimmy have such nice friends and families and wow, all the children there were so happy and fun to watch. They just played like crazy and the parents were so good at soothing and redirecting when needed. I was impressed.

This little girl cooked and cooked on this excellent play kitchen that makes cooking noises.

The best thing was the bouncy house in the back yard. Those little ones were filled with joy and energy and had a blast. All but one were girls and no one screeched!

Proof I bounced.

The little boy is Ellie’s nephew and as cute as he can be. Watching him play with the toy ice cream shop and car wash was so much fun for me. He’s a little engineer or scientist in the making.

Ruby and the ice cream shop toy. It’s very clever.

I’d have felt jealous or sad since I don’t get to hang out with grandkids much, but Pouri let me pretend to be a grandmother, so I just sat and smiled at the cuteness.

I did end up passing in a few of the things I’d have given to my grandkids to Ellie and Jimmy, with all my love. I gave a Peter Rabbit cup and saucer my dear stepmom had given Declan with intentions to pass them to his children. He said it’s fine to pass them on. I also gave Ellie my three beautiful story books of different cultures that had been my mother’s as a child. They are now almost 100 years old. I think Ruby will enjoy the beautiful illustrations and the Japanese haiku.

There was crying involved in that exchange but mostly it was very satisfying to see the thoughtful and engaging gifts that the little ones had so much fun with. There was lots of food and role playing stuff, all things any preschool child would enjoy.

I also enjoyed the cake. Dang, the kids all took turns nicely, really loved singing English and Persian birthday songs, and were patient with problematic candles. Everyone just laughed, including when Ruby steadily picked individual sprinkles off the cake. She likes sprinkles a lot. This was such a low-stress event.

I came back to the same hotel I usually stay at, walked around by a creek, and enjoyed some quiet knitting time. I enjoyed my day being an honorary grandma and seeing my friends.

I got a reindeer party favor because there were extras. I made her a collar. It says Vixen. That was my childhood reindeer toy’s name. Ellie sent carrots home with each toy (technically a caribou).

What I Admire in Others

What is something others do that sparks your admiration?

This is a great question! There’s so much to admire out there! I’ll list a few things I admire here, and I encourage you to think about it, too.

This is apparently a red admiral with its wings closed.

Putting themselves in the public eye. I’m too “sensitive” and easily hurt by being criticized and judged to be someone who does politics, runs a business, or that kind of thing. I truly admire pioneering advocates for unpopular causes and people willing to engage in public service.

Being minimalist. I think minimalist decor, clothing, and all that embracing of emptiness and lack of color is quite amazing. I’m no good at it. I like stuff. Colorful stuff. Of course there’s room for us all. But I’m impressed with people who go through life all clean and neat, with only seven highly “curated” outfits.

I think the previous one might not really be about admiration, more like awe. Or incredulity.

I admire my dogs for living in the moment.

Knowing where every cent of their money is. I’m not a good accountant. I’m also not interested in money, which is not real anyway. I just watch it vaguely.

Being at peace. Truly, the thing I find most admirable about some people is that they are at peace. They like who they are, enjoy their life, accept that everything will eventually pass, and live in the moment. Those people (and I do know a couple) bring peace and contentment to others, too.

What’s That Glow?

There’s a certain glow here at the ranch house, and it’s not a tree or a menorah. Nor is it the glow of my cheeks from hanging out in the woods listening to birds.

The glow is from the uranium in the gift from my spouse that was procured today. Yep.

There really wasn’t much going on here today, but since we’re going out of town Monday, we didn’t want to camp. So we went for a drive and ended up in scenic Waco, Texas, an hour north of us (though we wandered around to get there.

Now, it’s not like nothing happened. I did my nails. Reindeer Whisperer and a bow.

When we got to Waco we bypassed all tourist attractions, even the ones I like (mammoth remains, cute zoo, wetland park) and just explored different neighborhoods from poor to gentrifying to comfortable to fancy ones by the lake.

I guess it’s pretty sad that my first highlight of the trip was eating at Bush’s Chicken. It’s my favorite, crunchy on the outside and hit and juicy in the inside. Plus there’s fried okra.

After we ate, Lee decided he wanted to go to an antique store, so searched out the closest one. It was a good idea.

We went to an old neighborhood with lots of restored houses, where Show and Tell Antiques is located. (Link is to Facebook page.) This place is great fun for antique lovers and those interested in old houses in need of restoration.

I was too busy looking at stuff in every nook and cranny to take pictures but loved the old kitchen and bathrooms in the 1908 house built for a Doctor Pepper founder (another Waco claim to fame).

Check out that stove and floor in the kitchen!

This place is extra cool. Since I love glassware and china, I had a blast. I also enjoyed talking to family members, who shared lots of history and may have been making sure we didn’t shoplift.

I was amazed at this collection of very old needlework magazines, which I did not get, because, well, I already have a lot of this kind of thing.

I honestly wasn’t going to get anything until I saw two tiny purple hobnail glass containers, probably for matches or toothpicks. They are just perfect t for my window display of purple glass in my bathroom.

Then I went in a dark corner under the stairs. What did I see? Vaseline glass. Not fake. And by gosh there were things shaped like logs. Even the little legs on the items looked like tree stumps.

So, if you aren’t a collector of art glass, you might not know how cool this Vaseline glass (with bonus opalescence) is. It has uranium in it! I know a couple of collectors with many interesting pieces that I’ve enjoyed looking at, but I never had anything. This little set is so perfect for a nature lover…I glowed with love.

The log is a sugar bowl and the pump is a creamer, I learned. By the way, it’s safe to display.

Lee thinks I’m weird but got it for me as a Yule gift, a bit early. We didn’t get much bargaining, but I was ok with it. I’ve checked the prices online. You can pay more or less. But look, it glows in black light!

Now I feel extra justified in buying that black light flashlight!

I’m not sure where I’ll put the little keepsakes. I have them in my bedroom but they disappear against the yellow walls. I’ll put them I. My corner hutch, where I can see them from bed, perhaps. But this pleased me a lot. I always wanted some Vaseline glass, but never found exactly what I wanted. It was this. (The set is not particularly uncommon but not overly plentiful either—it was made by Northwood probably in the early twentieth century.)

As a bonus, I got to enjoy clouds and the sunset on the way home. So good. The sun also glows with scary rays, so it fits!

Daily Bird

It was rather quiet this morning when I went out, but I ended up with 38 birds heard, and some great viewing experiences. The two owls at the top of the post were impressive, but I also enjoyed watching the antics of a teeny red-eyed vireo. But the bird of the day is one I hadn’t heard here until today, the red-breasted nuthatch.

I didn’t see this one, but I heard it. I saw one in Buescher State Park, though, and it was cute as heck going up and down a tree. I’m fond of birds that climb like that, like the brown creeper.

I’ll remember today for so many reasons!

Let’s Get Positive!

What positive events have taken place in your life over the past year?

Now this is a good question! It’s been quite a challenging year, but the good stuff has been huge. I’m actually doing very well, considering. And here’s why.

Bonus: cool skies, like this sun dog this morning, Thank you, Nature.

Progress with Horsemanship: I’ve gotten to where I can ride Drew, at least on many days. And Apache and I have made so much progress that I can’t stop smiling when I think of it. My nerves are better and he feels better, which is such a great combination.

He’s un-learning a lifetime of holding his head high.

Learning about Birds: I gave the Cornell Ornithology Lab a nice donation this year, because the improvements in the Merlin Bird ID app have made this bird lover know so much more about what lives here at the Hermits’ Rest and wherever I visit. I feel like I have familiar friends everywhere I go now, even with eight similar sparrows here at once.

Since I got no bird pictures today, here’s a Red Admiral I saw in my meditation tree.

Camping in Seneca: one of the best things about this year has been going camping with Lee. It’s been wonderful for our relationship to get away and spend time together (when I’m not hiking solo). He sure loves to drive that thing.

Making Mental Peace with My Family: I’ve worked hard at accepting the way things are with my family. I just want my son and sister happy with their choices. I’m doing much better at accepting the family members who DO talk to me just as they are. And I feel more empathy with my parents, who did the best they could. Even Mom. This kind of thing has helped bring me more peace inside.

What’s good with you? Whatever it is, hold onto it! We’re in for some bumpy times, I think.

Happy Hanukkah for my Jewish friends. It’s such a hard time, especially for those close to me.

One Thing I Would Like to Change

What is one thing you would change about yourself?

If you’ve read more than a few posts on this here blog you know that this crone has a long list of things she’d like to change about herself, and that she at least says she’s working on them.

Today’s birds are white-crowned sparrows in a tree. They sang and sang.

So, what’s one thing I’d like to change about myself? Today I nominate my persistent and unwavering drive toward conflict and avoidance. I’d love to stop apologizing all the time and learn to take up for myself, whether it pisses people off and makes them dislike me or not.

The end.

Day or Night, It’s All Right

Are you more of a night or morning person?

Let’s answer this prompt. It’s harmless. I used to prefer nights, back when I did a lot of music stuff and going out with friends. I think I liked the activities, like choir practice and rehearsals more than the fact that it was night.

This is here just because I thought it was pretty.

Now that I mostly stay home, I’ve come to enjoy my morning routine out in the fields and woods. It’s grounding and gets my mind ready to get stuff done. I do enjoy having morning rituals like coffee and filling out my bullet journal for the day, too.

I often meditate while looking at lichen and bark.

I have evening rituals, too, like blogging and reading before I go to sleep. I guess I like to ease into the day and ease back out.

Magazine patiently waiting for me to finish blogging

I enjoyed the distraction of a lesson on Apache this afternoon. I wanted to build on last weekend, and it worked. We are doing well together, and I’m impressed with his eagerness to learn. I’m a lot more calm, too. He’s feeling better.

Next lesson will be for Drew, but it’s been postponed for family stuff. That gives me lots of time to work with them both at home, though. Drew and I have lots to practice, too! He is still weird about his head but otherwise tons of fun.

Daily Bird

I think the great blue herons on the ranch will be upset (or more upset) with me if I don’t feature them, so today’s the day.

At least today I didn’t scare one who was busily cleaning out the overflow pond like I’d done for two days. I just watched them flying and posing at water’s edge.

My favorite thing about these large birds is their croak. They yell when disturbed and made to fly off. Often they don’t vocalize enough for the Merlin app to catch them, but it did this week. It’s a great creaky sound.

I’m glad we have water to attract these and the other herons/egrets here. They have so many postures and look so elegant when they fly. And they’re so big! It’s a nice contrast with all the tiny woodland birds.

Hard Decisions That Turn Out OK

What’s the hardest decision you’ve ever had to make? Why?

You ask that, do you? I agonized a very this for about three years, during which time my mother passed away followed immediately by a breakup with the love of my life that was all my fault, followed by a serious of incredibly stupid relationship decisions and total failure at my career path. 1984-87 really stunk.

Here comes the brutal honesty for which I’m noted, for better or worse.

I’d say this was the period in my life when I realized that, no, I wasn’t the brilliant, nice, ethically consistent person I thought I was. That’s hard. I realized just how mentally screwed up I was in my drive to be perfect and that I was an emotional vampire who confused sex with love. Everyone has to realize they’re imperfect eventually (if they’re honest with themselves).

Worse, I ended up unable to stomach being an academic with all the drama, pressure, and competition. It just wasn’t what I’d hoped it was and I wasn’t actually very good at it.

So I decided to leave my career path and all the people I cared about at the university and do something else. I felt like a failure and that I’d let my family and friends down. That was hard. Acknowledging my inadequacy was hard. Admitting I was a bad partner was hard. Owning up to my anxiety and past trauma was very hard.

But no one really cared very much about my inner turmoil. They just wanted to see me stable, happier, and more positive. I ended up free of expectations and obligations and could move forward to use all I’d learned in a perfectly good career. I learned to love in a positive way. It was OK.

Oh look I’m crocheting something. It’s a hot pad in thermal stitch.

I make decisions much faster now. I’ve learned that whatever I do will be fine. I’ll learn the lessons I need to learn and keep putting one foot ahead of the other. Today is what matters and I want more peaceful, fulfilling days than stressful ones.

Daily Bird

I enjoyed a group of Harris’s sparrows today. I realize I’ve featured a lot of sparrows but we have eight kinds here! I heard these guys by the brush pile this morning, which pleased me because there was so much traffic on our road due to an accident that it was hard to hear birds in front of the house.

Harris’s sparrows make a less melodic sound than some of the others, more like very loud, low barks. It’s hard to decide how to describe it. But they were chatty and friendly today.

A pair of them started out in the honey locust, then got on the ground quite close to me, so I could easily see their interesting black head and chest markings. They’re the most distinctive ones, for sure.

By the way, the house wren and Carolina wren are loudly lobbying to be featured, so I’ll get something else soon. In the other hand, I’ve seen Mexican eagles (caracaras) doing mating dances in the sky twice this week. They do some loud wing flapping! So, they’re candidates. More to come.

Holiday Traditions Are Few This Year

Do you or your family make any special dishes for the holidays?

If they are referring to the winter holidays, like the Solstice or Christmas, then there’s only been one constant since my children were little, and that’s to have cinnamon rolls for breakfast. We used to eat them while opening gifts.

Something cheerful: Vlassic running at sunset.

For many, many reasons I’m not doing much for Christmas this year. It’s going to be a hard one for much of my family, and I’m not feeling very celebratory. I’m just going to go somewhere with Lee, if we can get someone to feed dogs and medicate Apache.

Speaking of horses, I caught Drew and Fiona being friendly today.

If not, I’ll stay home and eat cinnamon rolls then cook a meal for the same people I cooked Thanksgiving for. Maybe I’ll make pork loin and correct cranberry sauce. I think there will be small, handmade gifts for people.

You know, I think I just don’t want to do anything religious. I’m not happy with things being done in the name of religion these days, especially the ones stemming from Moses and his tribes. I’m disappointed in wars, book banning, misogyny, religious intolerance, and fundamentalism. All of it.

For the solstice, which at least predates Christmas, there will be candles and maybe a fire if the place we go has a fireplace. I’ll make decorations out of things from the woods and put intentions of peace into them.

It will be fine to skip materialism and shiny things for one year and concentrate on helping struggling loved ones however I can.

Daily Bird

We had some rain today, but it only rained hard briefly. It did quiet the birds down. The daily birds just have to be the European starlings.

As I went out to slog through the puddles to feed the horses, I heard sounds like tiny bells. It was a huge flock of starlings heading off to some field now that the sun was back out. It always amazes me how many there are.

I learned in a magazine that the flocks often contain the local grackles as well. Blackbirds like each other, I guess. I’m never going to love grackles, those resourceful parking lot scroungers with the incredibly annoying whistles, the great-tailed grackles. I’ll work on it.