Health – Page 4 – The Hermits' Rest

The Owls’ Lesson

Owls are everywhere in my life now. You may recall that I saw the same Great Horned Owl (I assume) each time I walked through the woods on the prayer trail on Hilton Head. It would fly up a new branch where I could see and hear it but not photograph it.

Eternally grateful to this healing space.

Since I got back to the Hermits’ Rest on Sunday, owls have been calling morning and night. I’ve heard them occasionally before, but even the Merlin app has heart multiple Great Horned Owls calling back and forth.

Late yesterday afternoon, we were talking to the man who leases our property for his cattle and the owls were so loud we had to stop our conversation. I began to wonder if they were trying to get my attention.

Now, I doubt the owls give us humans a second thought. Still, this morning I heard them, as well as all dusk and into the night. Sometimes it was like owl stereo.

I have not been at all grounded since we got back to Texas. Yesterday I had that annoying buzzy head and feeling my blood rushing that I used to get often. Today I was in panic attack mode most of the morning, barely able to speak. Then my nervous stomach kicked in to where I couldn’t go to my horse lesson. I was feeling puny and powerless.

I was also prickly like this noseburn vine!

After feeding the horses, I sat down to try for the third time of the day to breathe and meditate. That’s when the owls went into heavy hooting mode. So I just listened. Finally, I was able to regulate my breathing and get back into the moment…just in time for flocks of Sandhill Cranes to clamor their way across the crisp afternoon sky.

I thought about what lesson I could draw from being surrounded by these apex predators. What could I take on for myself?

Owls aren’t in your face. They blend in with their surroundings and keep their power to themselves until they need it. That seems like a useful strategy to borrow.

Owls have their communities (hoot, hoot) and stay in touch with their beloved members. I need to do that better, especially with those not on social media. I’m thankful to those who prod me to keep in touch.

Most important to me is that owls know where they fit in with the grand scheme of things. They help keep prey populations from growing too large, but don’t take more than they need. They act as if the trees, meadows, mice, and birds are not less important than them. I think humans (me) could learn from this.

I’m grateful to the owls for reminding me to stay focused on the here and now and to hold on to my strength for when I’ll need it.

Grief comes in waves, and sometimes they push you under for a while. Today I let waves of grief and fear wash over me, though I’m not sure why it hit today. If you are one of those who struggled today, remember you’re not alone and can try to soar and swoop like the cranes and owls tomorrow.

Blessed be.

King Arthur and Queen Goldie

What historical event fascinates you the most?

Two topics tonight! First, I have one of those physical reactions to places associated with Arthurian legends. One of the places I got the “vibes” from like on the Sacred Springs was Avebury, in England, especially Silbury Hill. I guess it’s not surprising, since it’s one of those places with “ley lines” (which you can believe or not).

I’ve read enough about King Arthur and those times to know that we have little idea what the people then were up to, if they were real. But it’s attached to my ancestry, so I find it interesting. Really, the ancient Celts seem like a bunch of angry people who liked to fight, and English history after 1066 didn’t make English folks seem more sympathetic, at least the ruling class. But I’m thinking whatever my ancestry is, there were a bunch of pagan misfits, like me today.

Anyway, the blog prompters asked, and this was my answer. It may not even be historical.

As for Queen Goldie, last night she triumphantly mounted the stairs and came up to sleep with me.

It’s hard to sleep wedged up against her with Carlton at my feet, but I appreciated the opportunity.

That was a surprise. Being a dog, she hadn’t thought about what goes up having to come down, so her descent was a bit scary. But she was all right. We ordered some stair tread carpet to keep her from slipping if she tries again.

Dr. Amy said she wanted to see Goldie again today after reading about her adventures. We got her in the car, and Lee took her to the mobile clinic. Goldie got more IV fluids and an antibiotic shot. She still has an infection going on, though Amy said she is obviously much improved.

One thing’s for sure, Goldie is eating again, which we take as a very good sign. I’m hoping she keeps up the improvement. She has a whole family team looking after her!

And Samhain blessings to all you folks who keep up the old traditions.

We Were SO Worried

I haven’t been talking much about Goldie’s health in the last couple of weeks because she really hadn’t been doing very well (if you missed it, we had to have her left front leg amputated due to an aggressive osteosarcoma; she is only three years old). Shortly after getting her stitches removed, the area under the incision started swelling. Then one day, when she seemed better, she tried to run after cows, and that wasn’t good. She must have hurt herself, and she whined a lot and barely got up off the couch for many days. She stopped eating and looked so sad.

No photo of sad Goldie. Here’s the sunrise.

Lee and I both wondered if we had made the right decision to try to keep her alive and enjoy her for some more time. We didn’t like to see her looking defeated and in pain.

Lee took her back to the local veterinarian, Dr. Amy last Thursday, while I was in San Marcos. They ran some tests and looked her over. The consensus is that she did something that caused internal bleeding, but that it was clearing up on its own. The pain was from an infection (I’m not sure where), so she got antibiotics. And the reason she wasn’t getting around much was that her front leg hurt. Amy theorized that it had probably started before the surgery when she started relying so heavily on her good leg. What a mess!

So I spent the weekend enjoying plants and birds and such, but worried that I’d get a sad call from Lee.

Luckily, that is not the case. Goldie has been gradually improving since she started antibiotics. The swelling has gone down greatly, she is alert, she eats, and by gosh, today she acted pretty much like her pre-illness self. She came out of the house multiple times and walked around, sniffing and doing dog-like things. She walked up and asked me to pet her many times while I was working on the porch.

When I came home from a quick trip to the drug store, lo and behold, ALL the dogs were at the gate to greet me, even a smiling Goldie. That inspired a smiling Suna. This evening after work, I decided to go outside and asked if she wanted to go. Boom, she was up, and beat me to the door! When I was looking at birds (too windy to hear any!) and realized she was following me around, like normal.

She had been very slowly hobbling around outside, and mainly doing her dog business and lying in the sun a bit. Today her pace was normal. She even went up and down the steps, which she’d been avoiding. It has been a good day for Goldie. I’m hoping they continue. I even can tell her hair is growing back in. Let’s hope for more good days, weeks, and maybe months for our intrepid Golden Girl.

How Are the Bur-heads?

I haven’t done a horse update in a while. That’s because not much has changed and I’ve been focusing on sick dogs. But today Jackie came to do bodywork for the first time in a while, so there’s a little more news.

I’m here, too. I enjoy taking food containers out in the pasture where Suna can’t find them. Fun!

All the horses have decorative cocklebur crowns these days. It only takes a few days to replace them, so I’ve given up on daily removal. It’s too hard on my hands and my gloves.

Why remove them? It’s a fashion statement.

Drew, as I’ve noted, is having some movement issues. Jackie determined that his back end is doing way better, so yay for that, but he’s still stiff, sore, and unhappy in his neck and shoulders, including the ribs. He let her know just how it feels, like he was doing with me earlier this year. She worked on him a lot and gave me suggestions for getting him to swing his front legs out and round his ribcage.

I’ll do that stuff and continue to work on extended walks on the ground and in the saddle. At least he still likes doing that, until he stomps his perfect little feet. By the way, I got his tail and back 3/4 of mane cleared up, but he was in no mood for forelock work after his adjustments.

Apache with invisible bur crown, last week.

I got no photos of Apache, because I was busy removing a bucket o’ burs this morning. He is the only horse that got completely bur free. I was happy with his body report. For a horse who eats no supplements and tries to spit out his daily medication, he’s doing well! His feet still look good, too. He’s been fun to work with and ride, as well. I think he will do ok at this weekend’s horse show. We need to get out there and just have fun doing our best.

Mabel is still great. She’s shiny, fit, and pretty darned sound. There’s only one crack in her white hoof! She let me get all the burs out of her tail, but only a few out of her mane. I’m just happy she’s happy and holding her own in the herd.

This is Mabel booking it to get away from my picking at her mane. At least she has one.

Dusty is still Dusty. So gentle, kind, and compliant. Well, unless you’re messing with his tail. His mane has no burs, but I only got a few out of his poor tail, which looks like it’s been braided with burs.

Dusty has been getting extra grain most days, because he is looking thin. But he eats well and is cheerful most of the time. I know his back hurts, even with supplements. But he still loves to hug and craves attention.

Goldie is improving. She’s tapering off pain medication and is getting around better. She can pick up the pace when she wants to, and now easily climbs the steps on the patio. She even managed to tell me her water dish was empty this evening, got me to take her out to drink, then stared at the water dish spot until Lee remembered it was in the dishwasher. Clever.

Goldie and dead house plant. I travel too much.

No one read my post yesterday about moths. Oh well. What I find fascinating isn’t always what the audience finds fascinating!

Ready to Move Forward

Honestly, I’m ready for my current mood to move on. I know I need to feel my feelings but I’m tired of displacing my anger at one part of life and imposing it on other parts. I need to quit being needlessly annoyed.

I’m as irritated as a cat being bathed. Photo from Pexels.

I truly got annoyed at slow drivers on my way home from working at the Round Rock office today. I got annoyed at the dentist for taking every insurance option earth except mine. I got annoyed at people who post blatantly ignorant political crap on social media. Now, none of those things are in my sphere of influence, except I know when I pick my insurance options this year, I’ll check (just can’t fix it right now).

I looked all professional today, though.

And I’ll still annoyingly jittery and forgetful. I dropped things repeatedly at my desk and hit my head twice on overhead cabinets. Then I left my purse with my car keys in it and had to go back in before I left. I’m having a doozy of a nervous episode. I’d be happy to move forward from that, too.

I just can’t force myself to be happy. I can nudge, though. Photo from Pexels.

Even when you know perfectly well that your worries and anxiety will pass, going through them isn’t fun. I even researched places to flee to this evening. That shows how pessimistic I am about the near future. It doesn’t help that the recent hurricane showed how easily a cashless economy breaks down. I never have cash.

Rambling. Did you want a Goldie update instead? She still felt bad through the morning, but then got to feeling better. Her back leg had gotten hurt by standing up awkwardly, but resting helped.

When I got home she was watching the guys try to fix the front door, and when she got up to go inside, she was wagging her tail and looking bright eyed again. We were all relieved. It was good to have a bright spot in the day (of course, chickens and horses lifted my spirits).

Let’s see what shining highlights appear tomorrow.

Yep. Time Passed.

Or we passed time. You can view time as going by while you stay still, or you can view yourself moving along through it. it’s all fine, because no one understands time.

Quiz time. Can you find four butterflies? The big one is a variegated fritillary.

Today was hard on Goldie. She mostly didn’t move, which is good for healing. But she’s in a hard part of her recovery. Mostly she stayed in her crate other than a little time in the sun. She is eating, though! That’s good.

Harvey seems to be having trouble with his front legs and maybe his vision. He still seems in good spirits and eats well.

Apache will not touch his food, even solid sweet feed (bad for him). However, when I opened his own, he marched over and finished Fiona’s food, which is probiotics and some rice-based stuff. Tomorrow I’ll try putting a random food dish out nowhere near where he gets medicine and see if he eats that. I’m also trying to medicate him in the morning if I catch him.

Leopard frog. Not sure why it wasn’t closer to the pond.

Tomorrow I have to go to the dentist so I will work at the office when I am done. Maybe I can have Dell cafeteria food! It will be a long day.

Could I be more dull? Every day it’s a sick animal report. Tomorrow is a new day!

Day by Day

It’s my plan to take things day by day for the next month or so, while Goldie heals and annoying political ads get more absurd. Today was different from yesterday, as days tend to be. I did my best to embrace the changes and challenges. It seemed to be the best option.

I’m glad I didn’t have the overwhelming anxiety of yesterday. I felt more centered, or so I thought until it became clear that my mode today was jitters. I managed to drop things, burn myself, allow myself to be bitten by Apache (my fault, not his), trip on random weeds, and even dribble my coffee.

I’d like to fly away, but that’s not the mature choice.

I was also more impatient than usual. Things I usually let go of easily, like being corrected or contradicted repeatedly, were bugging me. I can’t live my life at home if I start noticing and reacting to other people’s quirks that aren’t going to change. If I expect for my quirks to be accepted, I need to return the favor, right?

Quirks like toting this giant thing everywhere I go.

If I were to wager, which I don’t do, I’d bet that most people in partnerships occasionally want to get a break from certain habits or situations in their home, whether it’s leaving the toilet seat up or not putting tools back where they belong (partially made-up examples). That’s why I think my little trips are good for me. It gives the family a break.

Another of my quirks. Doing my nails in weird ways. Oh, and saying I’m sorry all the time. I’ll end the list here.

Anyway, I assume I’ll be better tomorrow and head towards a more pleasant attitude. I did make a nice dinner, so I wasn’t totally grumped out.

Sure, we’re both pleasingly plump, but you could have shared that food! Oh, shrimp? Never mind.

As for Goldie, the reason for my jitters, she is okay, though she seems to be in more discomfort. That huge incision has to hurt as it heals. It looks good, though, not infected or leaking.

Not gonna display the incision. It’s a foot long, at least.

She changed her shirt (the other one was cut off her, so no repeat shirts). I found a white one for her to wear to keep the incision area clean and keep other dogs from licking it. None of them have tried, though.

She’s eating well and doing her doggie business successfully. We humans spend lots of time with her, which I hope helps. The other dogs are respectful, thankfully.

Carlton is just glad he gets to sleep upstairs with us.

My hope is that day by day she and I both feel better. Every day I’ll feel more confident in her healing, too.

Overwhelmed

That’s today’s word: overwhelmed. That’s what happens when too many intense events happen at once. I think I was holding myself together to get through Goldie’s surgery, then it all got to me today. I felt all oogey in my brain.

Naturally, or coincidentally perhaps, more little things kept piling up. I couldn’t sit outside to work, because my laptop screen has stopped working. And changes, questions, and challenges started piling up so I was stuck at my desk, where my chair has decided it won’t stay up. Just little things. But, ugh.

Maybe I need new ones. Photo from Pexels.

I did get a few minutes to sit with Lee as we supervised Goldie laying in the sun. We managed to keep her from running anywhere. And later, when I finished all my tasks, including training in my new department, I got to just sit with Goldie and keep her calm and happy.

Meanwhile, Harvey is having more trouble. His eye now looks like it’s messed up. I hope he hasn’t abraded his eye like Scrunchy the pug used to. And his balance is work. Two sickly dogs can be overwhelming, but I just loved on them a lot.

Plus I was concerned about Apache, who has stopped eating his dinner. He just stares at the wall. And I was worried about his feet, because he hasn’t been running like the others when they come up for food. (Mabel, on the other hand, now runs like the racehorse she may have once been.)

So. It wasn’t Tarrin’s best day either. She also has a dog who had cancerous growths removed, then surgery on her intestines that had gotten messed up by medication. Eek. We are monitoring Goldie for that.

Ekho is recovering well and enjoying her favorite rolling in the grass activity. She’s hiding her bandaged foot.

Then this morning, Tarrin found her beautiful stallion had died overnight with no signs of struggle. That was overwhelming. Just awful. Sudden losses are so unexpected; you sorta go into shock.

So, since we both felt like crap, I skipped my lessons. Horses can tell when you aren’t at your best. However, Lee was nice enough to bring Apache over to Tarrin’s so we could talk about his food, medication, and feet. Secretly I also went so I could support her like she’s been supporting me with all the dog stuff.

It was very helpful to have a friend to talk to about how I was feeling, and it also felt good to be an empathetic listener. No doubt we will both be fine later, but today we were both sad.

Apache was probably wondering why he wasn’t being saddled and ridden, but he didn’t complain about just getting a trim. His soles are shedding, so Tarrin trimmed them and put his boots on.

Wearing his boots and making his sleepy face.

She helped me come up with a feeding plan and decided we need to switch his medication. He has too many side effects still, after a year. He should not be ignoring food and standing like a zombie. The powder medicine should be more palatable and have fewer side effects. Plus it costs less!

His plan is to convince me to take him out for grass that needs trimming every day.

Now I just have to try to return the 6-month supply of Prascend that just arrived. I sure hope I can. It’s expensive. But I’m glad to have a plan for Apache! He’s doing so well in training that I want him as happy as possible.

Long story, sorry about that. But I feel better thanks to good friends (online and in person) who care. I even got surprise presents from Kathleen, who did a stealth visit, meal, and present drop-off all while we were off with Apache.

Better times are coming! Or, I’ll be back to coping well with challenging times!

Time to Heal, So Heel, Goldie!

We got our dog back and I survived the journey. Let’s just say it’s hard for stressed-out people to deal with how those close to them act when stressed out. But Goldie is home!

She was glad to see us, and is walking well for her first tripod day. The poor girl will not pee or poop anywhere but here, so I was glad to hear that they expressed her bladder during surgery. 48 hours is a long time to hold it, even when your bladder is large.

We have to keep her quiet for two weeks and not let her run and jump. That’s gonna be hard, but we brought her crate into the living room where she won’t be alone. You see, Harvey can’t come upstairs since his stroke, so he has to have someone down with him. So, the living room is now a bedroom. Yow.

We took the couch cushions off, too, so Goldie can sleep in her preferred spot without straining. No more straining now that the car ride is over. The exit was difficult.

Yeah, it was an extra stressful day, not only from a dog standpoint but also a work standpoint. Things change a lot when you’re suddenly in change management. But hey, I got to see a hawk up close, not flapping around. That was good.

This is a good spot, says Mr. Red Shoulders.

I’m just tired. Too many early days and too much calendar chaos with meetings and events changing on me. Time to draw on my reserves, because guess what? It’s burr season again. The horses are covered. We didn’t get enough of them. Now I’m pre-exhausted.

At least the dog is back.

Gray Skies Are Gonna Clear Up

We are putting on our happy faces because even though the weather was weird today, we got encouraging news about Goldie’s prognosis.

The important news is that the veterinary team took X-rays of Goldie’s chest this morning and found no evidence of metastatic growths. That means she has a better chance of hanging on for a good while as a tripod. She then had the amputation surgery and came through it well.

Spooky sky with light of hope shining through. Photo by Lee.

Now we are waiting to see how she does overnight. I’m glad this facility has an overnight doctor to keep an eye on the animals there. She is well drugged, so she can rest pain free. What a relief. If things go well, we will get her tomorrow afternoon.

While anxiously awaiting news of Goldie (we thought she was going in early but that wasn’t the case), I hung out with the birds. There were over 40 species today! You can tell it’s migration time. The clouds never made any rain, either.

Vultures waiting for their wings to dry, and that same cloud.

After lunch with the ladies and Casey (the dude of our crowd) I came home to more weird weather. The wind picked up drastically, to where I couldn’t work outside anymore. Just as I was finishing my last meeting, Lee came in and said some of the horses were out.

Look, Mom. We are over here by the welding thingie.

I went over and shut the main gate, then went to figure out what was going on. Two horses were still in their pen area. Dusty was just standing by the big gate, assuming I’d let him out, which I did. Drew, in the other hand, was running anxiously back and forth, not settling down enough to figure out where the exit was.

I found that the back gate, which already had some issues, had blown open in the wind and was sitting at a most awkward angle. Drew finally found it and flew past me, jumping and leaping. What a dramatic boy.

We decided to let them do some edging and mowing for a while, but the gate did get fixed. Of course, as we were discussing it, Drew had to come help. I guess we humans are more interesting than new grass to the curious one. Anyway, other than causing the dogs to bark, the horses are fine. They’ll go back inside soon as they get thirsty.

Now I can go sleep. I sure didn’t last night, as my good friends knew! Let’s hope the ride home goes well. We have the new halter and a t-shirt for Goldie to wear.