family – Page 5 – The Hermits' Rest

Pivot! Or Making the Best of Things

There was a plan for today, but it didn’t work out very well. One part of the plan was to get more work done on the porch. That didn’t happen because the lead guy had a sick child to take care of. Family always has to come first! The wood isn’t going anywhere and will be here next week.

I did find a young garden spider. They look so different at this stage.

The other part of the plan was to go to Goliad State Park in the RV so we could both camp and attend a family wedding. We got ready in time but of course the Seneca decided it didn’t want to go. The rear slide wouldn’t go in. Again. These are finicky machines.

I was not thrilled since I’d run around all morning getting everything fed and watered, loaded things up…and boom. Not moving. Time to pivot.

I quickly canceled the camping reservation and at least got some money back, then booked hotel rooms in Victoria, much closer to the wedding venue anyway. This ends up costing less thanks to points. We loaded our bags in the car and headed out, down the familiar roads to southern Texas. Tempers did not flare and panic did not occur.

We passed mounds and mounds of McCartney roses on the sides of the highway.

Tonight was the rehearsal and we were kindly invited to it along with the wedding party and other family. I got to help a little bit with decorating while Lee went back to the car because he didn’t like the music. Oh, Lee. He pivoted in his own way.

We did have a nice time exploring Tin Spur Ranch, which is a tasteful and rustic place with ponds and a nice setting for an outdoor or indoor wedding. The bride made a good choice!

In addition to attractiveness, the setting was perfect for many birds, including Bobwhite Quail and two kinds of whistling ducks (as if one kind isn’t plenty, but the Fulvous one has blue legs!). There were also many unusual flycatchers, including the Brown Crested, which is migrating still.

There were 40 birds heard and seen in the late afternoon. I bet mornings there are spectacular!

So everything turned out fine. Lee even ate dinner and talked to some of his family! (You didn’t think it was my relatives getting married, did you? The only relative whose wedding I was ever invited to was my dad and Flo. so any family weddings I attend have been on the spousal side. I digress, in a self-pitying manner.

We will probably see a sight before the actual wedding tomorrow and maybe see Goliad on Sunday. Yes. We know there will be Memorial Day traffic. We aren’t going down any interstates.

No matter what, we’ll be flexible, because we’re learning to pivot without panic.

Today’s Holiday

I set a record today. I was only glum about Mother’s Day for a half hour or so. Two things helped. First I gave myself a good lecture on how this holiday was originally (1870) meant to be a day where mothers celebrated peace, started by Julia Ward Howe. Yep. The same one who wrote the Battle Hymn of the Republic. It’s a pacifist holiday at heart. I’m a pacifist and I produced two babies, so I can celebrate!

I was cheered at the idea of so many fascist pro-patriarchy women getting flowers and cards today. I’m not sure what emotion that really was. But, yay for peace on earth, end to wars, and love for all. That probably makes me a criminal these days, but I’m sticking to my figurative guns.

The other thing that cheered me up was taking my morning walk, which once again was filled with birds and flowers. Oddly, I walked for over an hour, and the only vehicles that passed me were members of my own family. Country life.

Just me, mutant flowers, and flower scarabs.

The second vehicle contained my next-door neighbors, also known as my offspring and his partner. I pointed at them so they’d stop, just hoping to say hi, but they gave me gleeful greetings of the day and said they’d go eat with me next week. Those smiles made my day.

Mama cows approved. These are solid animals.

I walked all the way to Walker’s Creek Cemetery, where I paid my respects to the mother and grandmother of the guy across the road, and my friend’s mother, who just passed away, making it a hard holiday for my friend. My mom died in 1984. So long ago.

So I’ve had a fine day, though I’m still feeling poorly. Just tired. I think adjusting to not working is harder than I’d expected. But the weather is beautiful and I can ride horses anytime I want to.

Someone is still not thrilled with his new “round” pen, but he did his trotting practice, which included mostly walking due to him being jittery.

I hope you all found a way to make peace today or enjoyed your traditional celebration. It’s all good. Now I must go re-dye my hair ends orange. I accidentally neutralized it by using purple shampoo. Oops.

Here are some photos from my walk.

Another Island Full of Birds

We said farewell to Hilton Head yesterday, and not a moment too soon, because my heart broke to learn that a sperm whale washed ashore on the beach in front of our condo. That only happens when they are sick. It’s a part of life, as I’ve been reminded, but would be hard to watch.

Enjoy this beautiful plant, Large-flowered Orlaya, instead of anything sad.

We didn’t drive far before our first, more cheerful, stop. I couldn’t miss a visit to the Pinckney Island rookery in spring! It did not disappoint!

Of course, there were many songbirds, grackles, and such, but one huge highlight was seeing baby Great Egrets in their nests being tended by their beautiful parents.

It was great fun to enjoy the bird cacophony and chat with other birders about what we were seeing.

I hope those give you an idea of the crowds.

Many other herons were there, but all the Little Blues insisted on landing deep inside trees. Tricolored ones were much more sociable.

We were delighted when a beautiful Tricolored Heron landed right next to me and proceeded to be endearing for a long time. It even did a butt-wiggle dance. Oh, the cuteness. You’ll just have to suffer through more photos.

The heron was right next to three young alligators. They mutually ignored each other.

I had such a great visit! Between birds I saw and birds I heard, there were 48 species. Here are other highlights.

The staff at the preserve are doing a project to get rid of invasive Chinese tallow trees and thin the understory to prevent devastating fires. They’ve cut down many trees in the first phase. It isn’t pretty but is understandable. I saw funding came from the recent infrastructure bill passed by Congress. I hope the funding isn’t withdrawn mid-project like so many are.

Much larger gator not bothered by pruning

We next drove to the greater High Point, North Carolina area to visit our family members. (Some were unavailable, sadly). The roads were not in great shape, and we followed rain much of the way, but we made it. It was worth it to see Donita and Libba, who couldn’t join me on this trip to Hilton Head.

We had dinner at a very nice restaurant, though it was hard to talk due to people screaming while they ate. Three of us were hard of hearing. But we persevered and laughed a lot. Lee and I also had fun.

This morning I managed to get a 20-minute walk in the neighborhood of our hotel. I found 31 birds and some interesting plants. Let’s see where we go next!

Peach-colored Fly Agaric – *Amanita persicina*

Hey Suna, Why Do You Travel Alone?

People sometimes look at me like I have two heads when I tell them I go to places far away from the ranch all by myself for weeks at a time. Plus, my spouse if fine with it. Why, why why?

And why put this colorful ginger (I think) flower here? It’s pretty.

A quick answer is that we are both hermits (hence the blog title) and enjoy time alone. That’s true, but not really why I do it. One of my traits is that I tend to take the whole “Pisces” thing to many levels (I find some of the personality aspects of astrology helpful, but no, I don’t base my decisions on it). Most aspects of my personality have two distinct and often contradictory aspects. For example, I enjoy dressing in a gender-neutral fashion, but I have those long fancy fingernails and slap flowers on most of my shirts.

That goes along with how I always come out borderline on tests of introversion versus extroversion. I’m one way sometimes, and the other when the situation changes. And I crave alone time but have never lived alone. Ever. People I’ve broken up with tend to hang out with me until someone new arrives. And when I had two houses for a few years, because I was still working in Austin, I had my friend Anita in the Austin houses.

It’s the Austin house (Bobcat Lair) showing lovely dark rain clouds. Ah.

My point is that I found it odd that I insisted on having a companion wherever I lived. Was I incapable of living alone? I tested that by traveling to these condos alone. (Note that I’m not camping in the wilderness; I still want to feel safe.) And what I’ve found is that I have a hard time coming up with a daily routine without someone else to build the routine around. My first few trips it felt very strange deciding for myself what to do, where to go, what to eat, how to entertain myself, without having to negotiate it with someone else. I was uneasy making decisions with no input.

I decided all by myself to pick up thistle seeds and watch them blow around, to make more thistles.

This week I’ve realized that I’m totally comfortable alone. I don’t need a routine, because one evolves naturally. I get up, dress, make coffee, write in my journal…etc. and it becomes a routine. And the silence is glorious. If there are sounds, they’re my choice. Now that I know I can do it, maybe I don’t need to be alone for parts of my travel so much. Still, Lee hates to be away from home for long, so this might continue.

I’m sure he’s not as fascinated by pelicans as I am.

With that musing out of the way, I’ll hit the highlights of my solo day in Hilton Head yesterday. I’m making the most out of having no car by exploring all the nooks and crannies I can walk to. There were no raptor sightings, but I did get startled by unexpectedly encountering a Great Blue Heron in a little pond. The herons here are much more accustomed to people than the ones at home, who fly off if they detect me anywhere near them.

Otherwise, I did another walk on the Prayer Trail, with so many pretty warblers, Painted Buntings, and Great Crested Flycatchers. I even came across a new life bird, the Wood Thrush, who looks a lot like a Hermit Thrush but sounds different.

I then found a trail in the woods next to the Prayer Trail. It had signs on either end admonishing folks not to ride their motorbikes on it. As far as I was concerned, that meant it was perfectly fine to walk the trail. Nothing said, “no trespassing.” So, I went on it.

What fun that was! This was a much less cleared trail through similar virgin woods (well, it IS the same woods) to the other one. I saw many lizards and skinks (not skunks, as autocorrect changed my Facebook caption to), and some gorgeous trees. I felt like an explorer.

Later in the day, after a delicious veggie flatbread at the bar, I walked down the beach again to see what shore birds were around. I was delighted to find some Royal Terns among the gulls. They are beautiful in flight, but I find them quite comical on the ground. Their crowns look like old man hats, and the way they were walking around chatting with each other just made me smile.

Later I saw some doing mating flights, which was fun to watch, as well as very loud.

Otherwise, I spent much of the walk dodging dozens of Cannonball Jellies that had washed up. I was glad not to be barefoot, as there were also many sharp-looking pieces of crabs strewn around. I guess the birds only like the middles of crabs.

When I came home, I gleefully read my book and watched whatever television show I cared to watch (this time it was Matlock). I have no doubt that by the time Lee gets here, I’ll be happy to have a companion to plan around, however.

Fun with Animal Personalities

Horses are so educational. Today I spent much of my day with mine, and I greatly enjoyed working with their moods and personalities. Our canine and equine companions each are unique, and reminding ourselves of that helps humans like me feel like a part of something larger than just our contentious society.

So, how did today go? I resolved to get all the horses groomed (and bur free) and put Apache’s boots on to help his feet while the green grass is here. I started by trying to get Apache, only oops, the gate blew open and the other horses got out. Apache just gave me his annoyed look and walked off. I got Drew and Mabel in with food, and Dusty let me halter him. So I doctored his sore tail and made him pretty. He’d rather hang out with humans than escape.

Since Mabel was in a pen, I haltered her and worked on her coat and burs. She enjoys being rubbed, and kept touching my hand as I brushed her. She was great as I got a few burs out of her tail, but let me know she wasn’t fond of the work I had to do to get the knotted mess from the last rainstorm out of her mane.

You see, my very tall very dark gal loves to get herself even darker by rolling in mud. I think she’s of the opinion that a mud crust is a fashion accessory. Her favorite accessory, though, are mud balls in her mane. They harden into pottery balls, and are matched by mud-covered burrs. It’s quite a sight. And not easy to remove.

No photo, so here is a not-very-artistic rendering of her mane.

I’m glad a bought a gel detangler, because I can rub it in, which is less disturbing to her delicate Thoroughbred nature while I remove burs. I got everything out but the big clay ball and three burs (see excellent illustration) and then I was stuck. The mane had festively rolled round and round the muddy objects. I tried wetting the clay, banding on it, and squishing it. Nope. It was permanent. So I cut it out. Mabel only lost length on a few mane hairs, even though I also had to remove a big matt. I figure she doesn’t have much of a mane anyway, and no one looks at her but me and occasionally Tarrin.

On that note I went to lunch. I needed a break.

I flew away, like these Cedar Waxwings in our tree.

When I got back from exhilarating lunch discussion (and two yummy tacos), it was time to hunt down Drew and Apache. I fed everyone, and got them all lined up except Apache. His snit from yesterday continued and all I could do was get him to take his medicine in the pasture. He was an angry horse man, I guess.

However, I did manage to halter Drew over his crown of burs, and settled him in front of a hay bag. Kathleen had agreed to help me out as I tried to get the burs I’d been working on for weeks off him.

He looks deformed, but it looked kind of like this.

Previously, Droodles would last about ten minutes before the head tossing, snapping, and kicking indicated he was done, so I never got to his forehead. However, the two-human approach worked way better. Kathleen crooned at him and did facial massage on him while I removed burs. He was quite calm and, dare I say, relaxed. All in all it went quickly, with no head tossing or stomping (other than at flies).

I wish I had a helper more often. I might have done better with Drew. But I’m sure grateful for help from someone who’s studying anatomy and knows where to massage. Maybe he’s feeling a little better now.

Of course he smeared food all over himself for photos.

We took a nice walk together and ended this success on a high note.

So, three out of four horses were accounted for. Kathleen and I went and sat by the pool a while and relaxed. Meanwhile, I saw Apache go into the pens, probably for water and a nap. I seized the moment and headed back over.

My favorite picture from last week. Worth a repeat. All burs are hidden in Drew and Mabel.

The good news is that his snit from yesterday seemed over. He stood still to be haltered and went out with no issues. He was patient as I cleaned his feet and stood like a gentleman while I struggled to put his boots on. They are challenging. No photos because I was too busy grunting.

Then, he walked over to the exercise area and did a lively walk, trot, and canter sequence on the longe line. I didn’t even have a stick to encourage him. That means he feels good AND I was only a day late with his boots.

It was nice to see the normal Apache back. We just have to figure out that gate obstacle!

Maybe. I figure if I keep acting up I won’t have to canter under saddle again.

Whew. Each horse had its own moods and preferences today. With a little help, I accomplished my missions and didn’t get stressed.

PS: Kathleen and I both removed burs from Fiona. She still has some, though.

We Can Navigate Challenges with Positive Reflection

It’s funny. The day we left for the weekend’s camping expedition, Lee and I were annoyed at everything the other did, even though nothing was really wrong. It made the day harder on us both.

Today, though, all sorts of challenges and opportunities to get angry presented themselves, and neither of us took the bait. As each little (or big) issue arose, we just dealt with it and kept going. I prefer days like today! Duh.

We’re like two old trees communicating through our shared root systems.

Here are just a couple of examples. First, after getting Seneca the motorhome ready quickly and efficiently, we drove off, waving at the neighbors and promising to stay in touch. We did, because just as Lee spotted it in his mirror, we got a text saying one of our storage doors was open. I got out, ensured that nothing was missing, and off we went. No one blamed the other one for the mistake. Why should we?

That’s right, Suna. Take it from a sparrow that roams the Savanna.

Later a bigger boo-boo happened. We had pulled Seneca up to gas pumps so we could refuel the Gladiator, which went ok. But as we pulled out, the corner of the big vehicle hit one of those concrete posts that guard gas pumps. It turns out there is a blind spot we didn’t know about.

Gas stations are scary. Photo from Pexels.

What good would it have done to get upset? We just assessed the damage, made impromptu repairs, and kept going.

Sigh, as it turns out, the accident that only seemed to have dinged the water heater cover must have caused a short, because there are power issues. We may miss our next trip, but hey, we made it over two years before any major oopsie!

I wish my reward for this achievement could be this belt buckle I saw in Boot Barn. Someone has a sense of humor.

Here’s what today reminded me. You reflect the treatment you receive. Friday, Lee shouted at me because I wasn’t where he expected me to be, I shouted back, and then I was on edge, leading to further misunderstandings. I reflected what he directed at me.

I’m sure this deep thought is not original, just like this free photo.

Today, on the other hand, we each took unexpected issues in stride, with no blaming or justification. And we enjoyed a pleasant trip home. We reflected understanding and forgiveness. That worked.

Goodbye lake (and last photo of pristine Seneca).

I did encounter more great birds before we left Lake Brownwood. I listened to a Greater Roadrunner calling for at least an hour, punctuated by Wild Turkey calls. A Black-and-white Warbler plus a Pyrrhuloxia also dropped by.

I’m not a Pyrrhuloxia but I also dropped by.

Still, I’m glad to be back with my familiar bird buddies, my chickens, and the horses, each of whom collected a few burs to welcome me home. Dusty was particularly glad to see me and almost beat Mabel in the race to say hi. He even cantered! It turned out he needed me. His winter coat needs help getting off, so I rubbed significant quantities of fuzz off him while he ate.

I’ll be back on him and fuzzy/sweaty Apache tomorrow!

Farewell to Our Dear Friend

You may have heard that Goldie left this world today, about five months after her osteosarcoma ordeal began. The good news is that she didn’t really slow down until this week, and only got really bad today, not eating, having trouble standing, etc.

The three of us here at the ranch worked together to give Goldie a good last day. after many calls, the guys found a vet who would come here so she didn’t have to be hauled in and out of cars. I sat with her for the last hour before the vet arrived, with her head on my lap or in my arms. It was very peaceful and loving.

It was important to me that she have peace. I have had too many traumatic dog passings. I don’t want more if it can be helped. We knew this was coming, so we could prepare.

Describing what a special dog Goldie was is difficult. People say all Great Danes are sweet dogs. That may be so, but this one felt like a friend, a confidant, and a guardian all rolled into one.

She was a Mighty Huntress of skunks and armadillos, she was a goofy dinosaur head when she got excited, her tail was a danger to men of a certain height, and she looked at you with those golden eyes, so full of love…

The few years we had with Goldie weren’t enough. But that’s what she had for us. We will treasure our memories.

Goldie’s memorial bonfire, next to her very deep grave. Digging big holes is a good way to process grief.

Old, Parents, Worries

What were your parents doing at your age?

I’m still feeling old and irrelevant, just like my cousin J. And I’m incredibly sad to be watching my sweet Great Dane, Goldie, swiftly declining. Cancer is just awful. It makes me hesitant to have another giant dog.

And cancer is why I can’t tell you what my mother was doing at my age (pushing 67). She’d been dead four years, thanks to her nicotine addiction. I wish she’d had a less addictive personality. I know she loved us.

I was born, born in the 50s. I already look concerned.

When Dad was 66 I think he was at his happiest. If my memory is correct, he’d met my stepmother and was having fun hanging with friends, traveling, and working in his beloved flower gardens. What a contrast. Dad was great taking care of Mom. He deserved a time to have fun. (He married Flo, a woman just like quirky Mom only without addictions, so he had challenges later!) I loved my dad so much. What a great, flawed, very human human being he was.

Things sure are different for me. My parents grew more prosperous and felt safer as they aged. Boomers like me had no idea what they’d be in for as they grew older. This is not the future I’d envisioned.

Thanks to everyone who’s been reaching out. Knowing I have kind people in my life is a source of comfort.

Cute Birds and Bittersweet Memories

It was the best day in a long time for bird watching. Between my observations and the Merlin Bird ID, 51 species were found on our property. That’s pretty exciting for me. But more exciting was how entertained I was by all that I saw. Yes, I’m easily entertained. You knew that.

I swear this little White-crowned Sparrow looks like an egg with a tiny head on it.

I saw a beautiful Harrier swooping over the fields late this afternoon when working with Apache the Wonder Steed. We both watched.

Then right at sunset, while I was watching and listening to the sparrows (Harris’s, White-throated, Chipping, Song, and White-crowned) as they rustled through the leaves looking for bird stuff, something flew by. It was the Great Horned Owl heading to a tree. Thirty seconds later, it hit the ground. I guess it got a mouse. Spectacular.

I didn’t like that. What if the owl was after us cute songbirds? Circle of Life, yeah yeah.

That really helped me get through a hard day. It’s now six years since I heard from my son. He was a great kid. I hope he’s enjoying life. I think he is, and that’s good. I just miss this little charmer.

33 years and 8 months ago, 4 generations.

As the two older generations in that photo are no longer here to talk to, I’m the older generation now. My cousin Jan and I have been talking about that, since her dad, a good friend of my dad’s, passed a way a couple of days ago. We’re the elders. That feels so strange.

Three generations, me, Mom, and Aunt Belle, my grandmother’s twin. I was a senior in high school.

I hope I can stay in contact with the generation after me. Maybe someday my son, but if not, it’s his decision and I respect it. And I’m fine. I just allow myself one day a year to mourn the loss that I really don’t understand. Grief is always lurking.

My parents and me in 1958. I knew they loved me, even if none of us were perfect. Dad was 27. Mom was 36.

Once again, I ask you to stick close to your loved ones, your friends who support you, and your community. We need each other.

So Far, So Good

I’ve probably mentioned it before, but I love cooking traditional Southern US food at New Year’s. Today I cooked black-eyed peas, rice, collard/mustard greens, cornbread, and a pork loin (because Lee needs his meat).

Not this year’s meal. I forgot to take pictures.

I had my oldest friends and my family over for the meal, and it was just wonderful. I’ve missed our meals since I’ve been so depressed. We have vowed to do better from now on.

Maybe I’ll invite a few newer friends, too. It’s just so overwhelming with all the dogs and the mess around the house from our unpacking and such. Perhaps a potluck?

It was a good day of starting new things, like a new journal, a new temperature blanket (photos tomorrow), and new energy. I’m not sure where it came from. Maybe it’s Connie the turkey, or Apache’s new zippy mode.

I hope you had some good experiences today. Every good day is a treasure.