family – Page 11 – The Hermits' Rest

Harmony, Before the Storm

What could you let go of, for the sake of harmony?

I’m pretty tired from moving things to minimize potential tropical storm damage and a bit warm because I’m sleeping in the upstairs bedroom with no air conditioning. I have a fan and an open window, at least until rain starts. So, I’ll answer this blog prompt quickly.

For the sake of harmony I’ve let go of any drive I have to clarify my perspective on things that happen to me. I don’t need to prove I’m right or justified to anyone else. That’s led to a lot of harmony.

I’ve also let go of the desire to have a say in current or future plans that involve anyone other than myself. It’s not worth trying to provide input or ask questions that will come across as nosy. I make my own plans for things that are just my “stuff” and do my best to let people who are affected know. I try, anyway. That’s just how I do things. I don’t need to know what other folks are up to (in general, not making a barbed comment). I just used to be way too curious/interested.

There’s probably more, but it boils down to learning to stay in my own lane, accept changes and new situations as gracefully as I can muster, and let go of expectations. This makes work, community life, and family life much less stressful for me and reduces at least some potential conflict.

And gives me more time to enjoy the weather.

For every situation there’s more than one right solution and it’s not my job to find it every time! And I don’t HAVE to share my opinion so much. That has been hard to learn and I’m not quite as far along as I’d like to be. But since I started out as the annoying student who raised her hand to answer the teachers’ questions every single time, I had a long way to go.

Curious as to what these are? I’ll tell you! They are seed pods of the beautiful pitcher’s leather flower vine *Clematis pitcheri*

Now to keep my phone charged in case we lose power. Beryl should not be too bad this far north. Think about our family on the Texas coast and my Houston friends!

Americana Listening

What is your favorite genre of music?

I guess my experience with being in a vocal trio with a Kerrville Folk Festival devotee, volunteering at a monthly folk coffeehouse for years, and living with a rock/country guitarist for three years or so doomed me. I became pretty fond of Americana music. What’s that?

I’m lucky to have lived in Austin, Texas (or thereabouts) for 30 years or more. There is a lot of Americana music to watch. I watched and listened to a lot of it with my music friends. I loved this part of my life.

Oddly, I don’t listen much anymore. I think it has to do with the loss of my older son, who is a wonderful mandolin player (he’s not dead, just refuses to speak). And some unpleasantness happened to my other son in the music scene. Plus, my vocal cords are now damaged and I can’t sing certain notes now. It has taken away the pleasure of music.

That took a dark turn. Of course there were wonderful musical moments in my life. And music moves me when I do listen. And not just Americana! I love classic rock, classical, and Celtic especially. and the music of nature, naturally. Heh heh.

Eh. I’ll stop before I go on and on about favorite artists. Enjoy looking at Fiona and Drew.

I’m fine. Just musing. Long weekend.

Memories Do Help

Describe your most memorable vacation.

Oh blog prompt people, get creative! But, descriptions of my most memorable vacation can be found from June 5-23 in this here blog. I think the one to Arizona wins because it was both fun and mostly stress free. I’ve had great vacations in the past but they either featured wrangling small children, arguing with family members, etc.

We kept our cool 98% of the time, and I got to see this slot canyon. Win!

I’m glad to have memories of all the sights and sounds of our recent trip, because it’s pretty uninteresting here at the ranch right now (no more dead animals).

We are by ourselves again due to the latest family issue, and I’m not working hard enough to drum up people to do things with. The only person I asked was Anita, and she’s working all day every day again. At least we have dogs, horses, and the swimming pool (now at bath water temperature).

It did cool off this evening after some big winds heralded a cool front. That’s rare in July! And we’re waiting to see if Hurricane Beryl will bring any rain. I hope so.

Other than that, we’re planning for the future of this place, which is always a little scary, but must be done. I’m not going anywhere, though, as far as I know! We just have to get things organized with our partners and such.

Must plan for the four-legged and two-legged children’s sake.

Much Gratitude, Must Express

How do you express your gratitude?

Honestly, I think I’m pretty bad at expressing gratitude, at least to people. And there is SO much to be grateful for, even with the challenges my family and community keep coming up against. The support each of our communities give us can give the strength to make it one more day.

I didn’t take any photos today, but I’ll find some. I saw this beauty yesterday.

I do say I’m grateful, especially to those who help around the ranch, help with animal care, and fix the endless broken things. But no doubt I could say it more and come up with better ways to show my gratitude.

Example: I’m really lucky I can just ask my son to go look at a broken door or ask Anita to help with my screw-ups on the Red House bookings. I’m taking him to dinner and got her a shirt, but they both need to know how much their flexibility means to me.

And just knowing our niece and nephew who live on the ranch with us are there when we need them takes away so much stress. I just hope we reciprocate in ways we can help!

I think I do let Tarrin know how much her work with me and the horses means to me. Her journey has contributed greatly to mine. Mentors who share their growth are to be treasured. I try to share my own growth here, to pass it on!

She’s patient, firm, and kind. It’s a good way to be.

I guess I try to tell people in person how grateful I am for them. And for those I know via social media, I try to express it often. In this world where it’s sometimes hard to find like-minded people in person, having folks who understand your fears and worries to turn to online is invaluable. Thank you, blog readers, too!

This rabid wolf spider has black front legs that almost disappear.

Yes, nature. I also try to express gratitude to the earth and her inhabitants by treading lightly and harming as little as I can. I want to fit in, though as a human being in Western civilization, it’s hard to not take up too many resources.

I let this fellow out. There are more things to eat outside. It’s some kind of wolf spider.

I’m trying to learn to do better, mainly by reading my neighbor Sara’s blog on regenerative agriculture. In fact, you can head on over there and read her post on things you can do now to meet the goals I have been talking about. Hmm. Sara is someone I need to express gratitude toward!

Family, friends, community, mentors, our planetary home…I’m grateful for them all and will strive to make that clear!

Too Much Adulting

I thought way too much about adult topics like real estate, bills, car maintenance, and such. Then I started watching two old men call each other liars with no way to verify who’s telling the truth (US Presidential Debate).

I’m done. Just done. Back to concentrating very hard on the beauty of the world around me and the goodness that’s everywhere.

Like this! Whoever thought they’d see a Great Blue Heron at the top of an electric pole!

For example, we got help with a broken air conditioning unit so fast it made my head spin. I’m ever so grateful to have caring people in my life. That’s a good part of adulting.

Halfway through the year. It’s getting hot, but still no 100° days yet.

I leave you with bunnies. I saw at least three today, but I think these photos are the same one, morning and afternoon.

Self Care Begins at Home

How do you practice self-care?

Oh, there’s so much I do to maintain my tranquility. Daily meditation, yoga/stretches, my antidepressant, hanging out with horses, sleeping enough, and plenty of exercise, outdoors. With nature.

Happily, we made it home today, so I can get back to my usual routine. I did plenty of self care when we were traveling, though, including connecting with friends. We got to see my friend Steve again before we left, so I could get a picture.

I also needed to pick up two bags of plarn, yarn made from plastic bags. I sure hope I can make his cousin proud by making something for a charity out of it. I happen to know the stuff is hard to knit and crochet with. Maybe I’ll weave it? We will see.

It was great to get back to central Texas. It’s so green here (thanks to rain), and it’s nice to see creeks and ponds with water in them. I used to make fun of one of my professors who said he was moved emotionally when he first saw corn upon returning to Illinois. Well, I was moved to see my first corn growing in Texas. I should apologize to Jerry, ha ha.

It was good to pet all the the dogs and hug the heck out of Apache. Even Buttercup the chicken was glad to see me.

I was too busy hugging or petting the rest of the animals to get photos.

I’m remembering that my self care is mostly internal, but the little physical things you do for yourself matter a lot. Hmm. It may be time to take a dip in the pool, one of the best self-care things I do.

Spending Time on the Road with Lee

Who do you spend the most time with?

For sure the person I now spend the most time with is Lee, my spouse. When he lived at the ranch and I spent weekdays in Austin, I may have spent more time with Anita, who shared a couple of dwellings with me. I now only see her once or twice a week and Lee every day. Good thing we get along 90% of the time

Yeah, we both get grumpy sometimes. Lee is easily frustrated and snaps. I’m conflict avoidant. But we manage. And we know when to give each other space.

Anyway, we embarked on one of our periodic road trips today, going west this time. We are headed to Sedona, Arizona, where there’s now a condo we can go to. I’m pretty excited about all the nature I can see.

And small towns. No Interstate monotony. That’s tomorrow.

Today we got as far as Clovis, New Mexico. the drive over was filled with oil wells, windmills, and cattle. There are many mega-dairy farms that have to generate massive amounts of methane gas and poop. I feel sad for the cows who never see grass or get to walk around. At least our local beef cattle get to be happy before they get harvested.

More fun was getting to see many big quarter horse ranches and some beautiful horses. Just like at home, we also saw lots of horses in trailers, all saddled up and ready to go work. Modern cowboys work that way.

One of the prettiest towns we went through was Post, where Cameron’s former City Manager went when he got frustrated. It’s quite pretty and has a big lake. Clovis is also pretty, probably because we went through the nicest part of town to find the hotel we are in. They are like oases in the desert.

I didn’t get photos of any of the things I described.

We did see some pretty geological formations in the hilly area we went through before it got REAL flat. It may be flatter than east-central Illinois (the flattest place I ever lived).

I did go outside and find two new birds, even though it was very windy outside. But hey, I was NOT covered with sweat! Dry heat! The birds were Say’s Phoebe and the Curve-billed Thrasher. Both are common here but not where I live. Cool!

I’m looking forward to seeing more new terrain and plants tomorrow.

Chocolate Bars – Really?

Describe your dream chocolate bar.

Who thought of this question? But since I’m tired I’ll answer it.

My dream chocolate bar has milk chocolate, thick, covering it. The interior is a Dulce de leche caramel. Around that is cashews and juicy raisins. The end.

In real life, I love the salted caramel Milky Way.

Other than that, life is good. We celebrated my son’s birthday from last week at our usual Mexican restaurant and it was a lovely evening. It’s so amazing to see us all doing well and happy with our lives.

Life is good, at least at the Hermits’ Rest.

Goodness Gracious I’m Good

What are you good at?

One thing I’m good at is having a consistent meditation practice. I’m not good at some of my more spiritual things (not very expert at Buddhist practices or very organized as a nature worshiper). But by gosh I’m gonna meditate every day. It’s good for me. If meditation offends you, then, I’m silently praying.

My meditation view isn’t as good as it was last week, but there are still flowers.

Hmm, that’s not what I intended to write about, so let’s find something else I’m good at…observing nature! Yeah! I’m extra good at that, and sometimes wish I could have worked as a naturalist in some fashion as a profession.

Striking caterpillar of the Wilson’s Wood-nymph moth

But, I’m also good at writing and editing, so I did get to use that throughout my working years. I can even write academically, but since I became a technical writer, I’ve stuck with simpler word choices and sentence structures, so as not to obfuscate my scintillating pontifications.

That’s not funny, Apache (couldn’t resist posting another yawning photo)

Of course, I’m good at knitting and crochet. I’m crafty, but not necessarily artistic.

I also hope I’m good at supporting my friends and family. That one waxes and wanes, and as long-time readers may know (I do have a beloved child and petulant sister who I did not support to their standards). But hey, I went to see the niece Kathleen in the hospital for her latest spider bite and brought her flowers and a card (along with son and partner). I’d have visited sooner, but I kept thinking she’d come home quickly. Her body just does not deal with spider venom.

Snakes are looking for her. (Non-venomous)

I like all those positive things I’m good at. I used to be very good at putting myself down, blaming myself for everything that went wrong, and contorting myself to try to get people I cared about but who didn’t care about me to change their minds. I’m glad I stopped being so great at those unhealthy traits! I could not make that guy in grad school, my previous spouse, nor my next-door neighbor like me. Now I think it’s their loss.

Also good at overheating and doing that lip thing. Me doing both of those yesterday.

Let’s all try to get very good at cutting our losses and moving on from relationships and situations that aren’t good for our self esteem. I’m quite good at these proclamations. Hear ye, hear ye!

I Truly Loathe Tornadoes

I was going to write about every time a tornado damaged my property or that of someone I cared about, not to mention lost pets and livestock. It goes way back to childhood. No one I knew was killed in one, so yes I should go on and on about how grateful I am and that things can be replaced.

Willows tend to break. But it’s where bird friends live. Hardly any birds out today.

But. Being close to those things can traumatize you. I saw that in my son’s eyes today. We’ve shared tornado trauma, and he had it again yesterday when one came out of nowhere and threw debris around him and his partner. They each made it inside, but my goodness, that was scary, especially when the roof proceeded to peel off.

Anyway, I got all nauseated driving home from our shortened trip to Waco. So many downed trees and damaged buildings. And it was worse in Temple, the closest large town to us. Houses moved off their foundations and such.

Right by our place there were huge round hay bales that flew over the highway. I’d hate to be driving when that happened! We lost a water trough and all my horse training barrels went far away. Glad we’re okay, though.