daily life – Page 23 – The Hermits' Rest

The Rural Internet Dilemma

It’s real. It’s a problem. The solution requires hard choices. Yes, if you need reliable high-speed internet and you don’t live near a major metropolitan area, your options are very limited.

It sounds so lovely to work from home at your lakeside cabin, your mountain retreat, or your horse farm in a sparsely populated area tantalizingly close to “real” towns (me). But when you’re watching that little ball go around and around while you’re trying to do a demo, or your download says it will take 36 hours, the romance fades.

Well at least that would take a while. image from Pexels.

It’s a choice to live here, and we knew it would not be easy. We’ve had some good years—I had a wired option from AT&T that worked fine until it broke and I was informed they no longer sold them. Using hotspots was okay, but Zoom ate up our allotted bandwidth very quickly.

So I got this satellite setup from Viasat. It does work, unless it’s raining. But it, too, had limits and would slow to a crawl. Honest. All I do is 2-3 hours of meetings everyday; otherwise not heavy use. We didn’t even dare stream television, to save the fast speeds for work.

For that reason, we had DirectTV satellite television. I’m not going to go over that fiasco again. After waiting weeks to get it fixed, it stopped working. Then the dish fell down. It’s canceled as of last week.

We started streaming for television when I found an unlimited plan on Viasat. All was well other than the slowdowns. They were infuriating. And this stuff isn’t cheap. And we checked all possible systems, but we have a hill nearby and it blocked the solution most folks I know use. Sigh. Much time has been spent on research, which I don’t particularly enjoy.

Spiders build webs faster than I can download a PowerPoint deck.

There was one final option. We just didn’t want to do it. For one thing, it started out very expensive. For another, we are not fond of the owner of the company that provided this really good service we can even take camping with us.

It’s a dilemma! StarLink works. It’s less expensive now. Everyone I know who has it loves it. But. But. I’ve NEVER been a fan of Elon Musk. I didn’t like him years before he became the next US President’s puppet master. And one of the few ways you can show your disapproval of the practices of corporations is to not buy their stuff. (There are some companies whose treatment of LGBTIA people or religious discrimination means they do not get my dollars.)

Lee finally made the decision to get the StarLink system. We will cut a lot of expenses, even with streaming subscriptions. And we can have entertainment while traveling when there’s bad weather and we don’t want to be outside.

But I’m torn, ethically. This is one of those times where there’s no “best” thing to do. We will have to deal with the bad karma we’re generating, I guess!

Pondering

It’s probably a luxury and sign of my privileged status that I’m able to ponder upon what to do in the near future to protect my more distant future. Still, people my age tend to be pondering about many age-related potential occurrences.

Sometimes I feel like an empty seed head, like I’ve fulfilled my purpose and am done now.

Do we work for pay every day until we die? Can we retire and finance our needs ourselves? Will we need help from children or other relatives as we age and decline in health? What’s the best strategy that will give us a comfortable old age?

Anita plans to get her advice from Goldie. She’s wise for her age.

Heck if I know. I thought we had things set up in one way, but things unexpectedly changed, and we have to pivot. Our neighbor, Sara, who I do my horse stuff with, is escaping Texas to start a regenerative farm business in Wisconsin with members of her family. This is exciting for them!

Apache will miss his lesson and show buddy.

But that’s meant we’ve had little choice but to sell the vast majority of the ranch, which we owned together. And the very nice people we are selling to also wanted some of the property we owned outright. With times being what they are, Lee wants to liquidate assets, so this is all going to happen.

If you’re wondering why my anxiety is high and I’m sad, well, this is part of it. I won’t own any of the creek or woods any longer. My plans for a consternation [hilarious typo; I meant conservation] easement are no longer possible. We could not afford to buy out the other half of the ranch to do that; we’d hoped to do it later.

We’d hoped for a few more years of Aragorn in Christmas tack.

The fact that we will soon only have a “ranchette” (not popular with the locals) does give us more options. So we have to ponder them. The agreement we made not to fence in the acres right behind the house means I can’t put in another pasture for the horses. It’s hard to support four horses on what we have.

It better support one attractive rooster!

So, lots to ponder, lots to keep me up at night, and that’s not even bringing in the unknown of the next four years and how it will affect us, right as we would need to start relying on Social Security and Medicare, which we’ve paid into since we were teenagers.

Change is inevitable; we all know that. I can deal with it in small doses with time to prepare. This stuff? I’ll remind myself to put one foot in front of the other and notice the good, the beauty, and the inspiration that occurs every day. Right?

I’m not planning to run away like this bunny!

Weekend Blues

Nothing of great interest has been going on, other than inside my head. It’s rained a bit, not enough to fill up the ponds, but enough to make for messy horse times. And it’s nice and cool, but damp cold makes chores pretty miserable.

My new medication regimen is helping and apparently needed, because I tried cutting one out and my anxiety chest pain is back. Let me say once again that an anxiety stinks. I do not like taking medication, but I guess I need it a while longer.

Pills can be poison but they can let me see beauty, like poison ivy!

That was me normalizing mental health struggles.

I did put up token Yule decorations and they make it cozy in the great room.

Being sickly and having to stay inside has had two benefits. First is that I got a lot of work done on my temperature blanket. It does get more interesting once it cools off outside and all the squares aren’t red and orange. I look forward to a different format next year. I’m finally weary of mitered squares.

Nice to see blue and green in the centers. Those are thirties and forties.

And Carlton has been cozying up with me, since it’s chilly. He also likes the blanket.

Next week things start to get more exciting and festive. Let’s see how I handle it!

What’s the Traditional Gift for Your Sixteenth Anniversary?

I didn’t look it up, so I’m not sure what the official gift is. But, according to my friends Tarrin and Teddy, the gift is a nice rooster ( as opposed to a mean one).

The rooster magically appeared on their property, where he tried to fit in, but was chased by cattle, horses, dogs, and the roosters who already live there. He was too nice to just dispose of, so I volunteered to take him, since I still miss Bruce, our previous very nice fellow.

I put him in the roost with Bianca, figuring they’ll sleep together and be more likely to get along. Maybe he will encourage the Cochins Cathy and Cindy to sleep indoors. I hope so, since it’s cooled off and rain is forecast.

More fowl news to come soon, so stay tuned.

In addition to a horse lesson and chicken pickup, I spent a little while with my friends Pamela and Linda Jo, doing a BioBlitz across the road from Pamela, where the landowner intends to clear all the plants to create a pasture. We recorded all we found, including a variety of native trees.

We found 78 species, which shows the diversity hiding in our Milam County landscape.

There may be more observations uploaded to our iNaturalist project, which I look forward to. I’m finding a bit more peace being around people who are good friends and love our plants and animals.

Being a Responsible Omnivore

What are your feelings about eating meat?

I’m answering the blog prompt today, because the lack of internet at this state park means I can’t upload posts with lots of images.

Anyway, I think people get to make their own decisions about what they eat. There are many reasonable philosophical inclinations that lead people only to eat raw food, choose veganism, eat eggs and dairy, or eat various kinds of meat. I have no arguments with decisions that work for you.

My decision is based on practical considerations for the most part. Without meat, our family could never share a meal. Too many people raised on a traditional American diet. But I want to be a more thoughtful omnivore.

I believe including some animal products leads to a balanced diet of vitamins and minerals. But I also am convinced that plant-based foods are also vital, and should provide most of what I eat. If I was just feeding myself, my diet would include meat every couple of days, with carefully chosen meat. I don’t want to eat animals who’ve been treated badly, so ideally the chicken, beef, and pork would have had good lives.

By this I mean they get to live outside in the fresh air and eat varied food. They get to raise their young. And harvest is quick and humane. Does that make food more expensive? Maybe. But if meat isn’t your primary source of nutrition maybe that’s okay.

We buy grass-fed beef we know, which I hope we can continue when our neighbors move—and the small harvesting facilities are often overbooked here. Much of the pork we eat is harvested from the ranch. We also eat local venison. Chicken is difficult. I don’t have a good source of real free-range chicken (mine are for eggs). So I try to be an ethical omnivore, but it’s hard to do.

I guess the goal is to change my habits as much as I can. In the next few years, choices may differ.

More on our pleasant camping trip and how my mental health is doing in the next blog post. I do feel more calm, anyway.

Random Ranchy Observations

Since I’m not up to much deep thinking right note, I’ll share some things I’ve been seeing here at the Hermits’ Rest. None are stinky dead armadillos.

The cows are in full baby mode at this time. Every time I look out at the pasture I see more pretty calves. This year they are many different colors, which is fun. The one above may be black, but looks a very dark brown to me. There are shiny white ones that stay shiny until it rains and they get muddy, tan ones, red ones, etc. It’s fun to watch them running around.

We narrowly avoided another dead animal mess today when I saw an unexpected rock next to the fence. It’s a good thing I have the terrain memorized. Sure enough, the rock was a pond cooter or some such turtle. It was trying to exit through the good fencing. If Goldie had found it, that would be the end of the turtle. I was able to pick it up and put it safely on the other side, pointed toward the back pond. It didn’t even pee on me!

This is sort of funny to me. I finally SAW an American Robin on the ranch. I’ve heard them many times, but never saw them. I was thinking it was a Mockingbird imitating a Robin! But at last, yesterday, one flew to the top of a tree that had lost most of its leaves, and I saw the whole bird. Now if only the Blue Jay would pop into view. I’ve never had trouble finding them except here!

Birds continue to be noisy these days. Cranes are still flying over daily, but the crows are the instigators of most noise. They seem to really dislike sharing space with raptors. Two days in a rows the band of local crows were flying around and cawing away at the Red-shouldered Hawk family that also hands out here. I’ll see them fly back and forth as the hawks make enough screeches to make a dance recording.

Gemini made this. I like the red eyes on the top crow.

Another day the hawks were not out yet but the Great Horned Owl was. It had the nerve to want to nap near the crow’s spot. Once again the swirling crows went into action, this time matched by the hoots of one of the owls. I believe the owl headed back over to the other part of the woods.

And finally, let’s go back to turtles. The front pond is pretty low. In fact, it’s low enough that we found our missing water trough that disappeared in the bad wind event months ago. All the turtles are still in there, and since it’s been abnormally warm, they are out sunning themselves often. You’d expect to see them scattered around the edges of the pond. But, no, they line up like they are on a log, even though there are no longs. There are often five or six in a row. I can’t get a photo, because they dive in when they detect me, so I drew a picture.

But, hey, I got the turtles, bur plants, willow trees, the trough sticking up, a killdeer, and a horse. Art. Yes. I draw as well as I sing now. Very much out of practice.

Eww, That Smell

In the immortal words of Lynyrd Skynyrd:

Ooh that smell
Can’t you smell that smell
Ooh that smell
The smell of death surrounds you
Collins/Van Zandt

This song has been in my head all week. You can mostly thank good old screwed-up Harvey for that.

The story: we came home last Monday and kept smelling something. It was about as unpleasant as smells get, quite close to skunk spray. We quickly determined it was coming from the dogs that had so enthusiastically greeted us upon our arrival.

No, it was Harvey and to a lesser extent, Penney, who each had suspiciously damp spots on them. The spots reeked. We blamed ourselves for letting them out while we unloaded the car, since it was clear that the horses had gotten out while we were out of town, judging from the extra-fresh deposits dotting the property.

We tried to remove the wretched spots, but Harvey wasn’t having anything of it. There was attempted hose squirting, damp towel wiping, and in total desperation, Febreeze spraying (yes, I’m aware that’s probably not good for him, but he already has a terminal illness, so I went for it).

New development: on Wednesday, I was sitting by the pool and heard Penney crunching something. What was it? A very putrid and extra-decayed armadillo carcass, identifiable only by the tail. I got a towel and picked the sickening mess up, tossing it over the fence. Eww.

No armadillo can escape Goldie, even minus one leg.

I then saw Penney heading to a spot in the yard. Oh no, it’s where the carcass had been, a slimy, disgusting mess of decaying animal. I almost barfed, and I did not stop to take a picture of it. Thank me now.

I thought fast and put my fake cactus over it to prevent future rolling activities. When Lee came home, I showed him, and he brought over a giant bucket full of concrete. First he put a net down to ensure the whole goo pile was covered, then the heavy bucket no dog could move. The cactus was an attempt at making it decorative. But, as long as no dog can get to it, I do not care.

Meanwhile, no amount of air freshener, essential oil, Scentsy products, or other things that bother Lee’s sensitive nose were able to remove the scent. Time has helped a little, thankfully, but you can still tell when Harvey walks by. The smell of death surrounds him!

Do you think we were done with the putrid ‘dillo? Au contraire. Thursday I was sitting on the patio enjoying the pleasant weather when I heard the tell-tale crunching. Dang it, Penney had found another piece of yuck. I discovered it was a lower jaw, judging from the little teeth. Great. Over the fence it went.

Done yet? Oh no, it’s the ick that keeps on icking. Lee mowed the lawn one last time for the year and apparently spread little bony bits that had been hiding. Penney found them. She’s persistent.

I think we are done now. You may wonder why the resident scavengers didn’t take care of that carcass for us. That’s easy. Alfred and Goldie would have none of those interlopers in their realm. Thanks, guys.

Let’s hope the smell wears off soon. Please.

Equine Psychology WIN

Hey everybody! I’m smarter than a horse! Maybe…

As we know, Apache is not fond of his medicine for PPID (some metabolic malady). He also has been refusing to eat his delicious soaked alfalfa pellets with his expensive supplements. It’s hard to help an animal who doesn’t care for the assistance.

To try to help, I ordered a different version of the medicine, compounded into a powder (which has pros and cons, of which I am aware). He ate it in treat food once, but wouldn’t touch it yesterday. I was too sick to argue with him.

Today he got it in applesauce via syringe, which worked ok, so that’s taken care of. He can’t spit out the medicine if it’s all mixed in. And he takes it politely.

Today I prepared him a gourmet tasting platter with all the components separated out, in case maybe he’d eat one pile or two. Nope. He acted hungry, but sniffed disdainfully at the food and just stood there. Fine.

I’ll deign to eat your hay (obviously not a current photo, since his mane looks so nice)

I stood there, too, and removed some burs from his encrusted mane while I thought. After the other horses had eaten a couple of minutes, I opened Apache’s gate and let him out, sitting his food bucket in the same area where Mabel and Fiona were eating.

Mabel and Dusty, just minding their business.

Sure enough, Apache marched over to Mabel’s food, sent her away and started munching away. Mabel went over and ate Apache’s food. I watched as he ate and ate the food, which was the same as his, only with the oil supplements I thought he hated. Nope, he ate it like a champ.

The award for best consumer of supplements and medicine goes to…Apache!

As long as he THOUGHT it wasn’t the food I gave him with meds, he’d eat it. Fine. From now on I’m making two of the same exact mixes and letting him ignore one in his pen, then chase Mabel off, so he can eat “her” food. Horse psychology! I win! I think!

Wait until tomorrow. Who knows what I’ll do!

Everyone eats. That’s what counts.

(PS: I’m feeling better mentally and physically today, finally, and the owl said HOOT at both me and Lee.)

The Owls’ Lesson

Owls are everywhere in my life now. You may recall that I saw the same Great Horned Owl (I assume) each time I walked through the woods on the prayer trail on Hilton Head. It would fly up a new branch where I could see and hear it but not photograph it.

Eternally grateful to this healing space.

Since I got back to the Hermits’ Rest on Sunday, owls have been calling morning and night. I’ve heard them occasionally before, but even the Merlin app has heart multiple Great Horned Owls calling back and forth.

Late yesterday afternoon, we were talking to the man who leases our property for his cattle and the owls were so loud we had to stop our conversation. I began to wonder if they were trying to get my attention.

Now, I doubt the owls give us humans a second thought. Still, this morning I heard them, as well as all dusk and into the night. Sometimes it was like owl stereo.

I have not been at all grounded since we got back to Texas. Yesterday I had that annoying buzzy head and feeling my blood rushing that I used to get often. Today I was in panic attack mode most of the morning, barely able to speak. Then my nervous stomach kicked in to where I couldn’t go to my horse lesson. I was feeling puny and powerless.

I was also prickly like this noseburn vine!

After feeding the horses, I sat down to try for the third time of the day to breathe and meditate. That’s when the owls went into heavy hooting mode. So I just listened. Finally, I was able to regulate my breathing and get back into the moment…just in time for flocks of Sandhill Cranes to clamor their way across the crisp afternoon sky.

I thought about what lesson I could draw from being surrounded by these apex predators. What could I take on for myself?

Owls aren’t in your face. They blend in with their surroundings and keep their power to themselves until they need it. That seems like a useful strategy to borrow.

Owls have their communities (hoot, hoot) and stay in touch with their beloved members. I need to do that better, especially with those not on social media. I’m thankful to those who prod me to keep in touch.

Most important to me is that owls know where they fit in with the grand scheme of things. They help keep prey populations from growing too large, but don’t take more than they need. They act as if the trees, meadows, mice, and birds are not less important than them. I think humans (me) could learn from this.

I’m grateful to the owls for reminding me to stay focused on the here and now and to hold on to my strength for when I’ll need it.

Grief comes in waves, and sometimes they push you under for a while. Today I let waves of grief and fear wash over me, though I’m not sure why it hit today. If you are one of those who struggled today, remember you’re not alone and can try to soar and swoop like the cranes and owls tomorrow.

Blessed be.

October Love

What’s your favorite month of the year? Why?

I’m glad there was an easy question to answer today, because I’m wiped out from travel and unexpected stuff. Yes, I like October. There are always horse shows, the Master Naturalist meeting, and pleasant camping trips. The weather is usually good, too.

I’ll write more tomorrow, but I’m glad to be home with my animals, all of whom lived. I cried to see Goldie bounding up to me like she used to. She obviously feels fine at least for now! she’s running and having fun!

Horses and Fiona are good, as are the chickens now that I got them more food. That cheered me up, which I needed. Mentally I’m a bit down. Too much news reading I guess.