The person behind The Hermits' Rest blog and many others. I'm a certified Texas Master Naturalist and love the nature of Milam County. I manage technical writers in Austin, help with Hearts Homes and Hands, a personal assistance service, in Cameron, and serve on three nonprofit boards. You may know me from La Leche League, knitting, iNaturalist, or Facebook. I'm interested in ALL of you!
Allow me to share some bird portraits, along with some brief observations. Chickens really remind me of cats.
Example chickens. Bruce, Hedy, Springsteen, and Patty in the rear.
How? Well, they like to chase things and pounce on them. For chickens, it’s bugs.
Fancy Pants, a Cochin hen, in pursuit.
They also like to rest all curled up with their feet under them (I can’t get a photo of this, because they get up when I approach).
Bertie Lee, a barred rock, is brave. She’s not afraid of her shadow nor me. One day she flew right up to me to get to a bag of treats I had.
The main reason chickens remind me of cats, though, is that their owners find them incredibly cute and fascinating, even though they only have one rather vacant facial expression.
Hedy, an Ancona hen. She says she likes her look and she’s sticking with it.
They all just give you a dinosaur stare.
Ginger is our egg factory, an ISA Brown. She’s also very friendly, even with those dinosaur eyes.
Like cats, they come in many colors but are hard to tell apart. To me, all striped or black cats look the same. Apologies to cat lovers who see many expressions in their kitties.
The good thing about Easter Eggers, like Bruce, is they all look different. Thank goodness. One of him is plenty.
Oh! Let me interject that Kathleen got the game camera working, and it ran last night. I hope all we see is chickens and maybe cows.
The game cam is camouflage, so it’s invisible, right?
I’m glad the guineas are free now. They are so dang fast that they can now escape any attacker.
We lived! And we are fast. These are the Gray One and the Brown One. Trying not to get attached.
Nonetheless, the chickens entertain me a lot. I loved watching them eat popcorn and cantaloupe last night. And the guineas learned to eat from my hand!
Bruce looks pretty funny with his head in the feeder, too.
Cats are easier to care for and less likely to be eaten by owls or raccoons, but since I can’t have cats (Lee has an allergy), I’ll enjoy these ladies and gentlemen.
Another view of Hedy. Same expression. But what an attractive bird.
No doubt you’ve been wondering two things. No, not why I keep writing and why I share my journey all the time! You wonder How the floor in my future office is turning out and how those stairs are coming along! Of course.
Still drying.
Well, the office floor sat and dried a long time. We hoped it had filled in all the gaps. Then, a couple of days ago, Chris put in clear silicone gel. It’s now drying.
The white stuff needs to turn clear.
Once it clears and dries, he will put in clear gel or something. Then we will have a floor. Maybe it’s not what we envisioned, but it will be pretty.
More rails.
As for the stairs, the framework now goes all the way up.
Hey, it’s safer already! The rail shown below goes across the top here.
Chris has carefully marked where each of the rails will go. And he’s making them now.
Marks for what size metal rod goes where.
The first one he’s completed shows the pattern. There’s a large center piece, then another every four inches going both ways from there.
You can see the pattern here.
The small ones are either 1/2” or 3/4”, and there’s a subtle pattern. Depending on how wide a piece of railing is, there may be more or fewer small ones.
Just after the final piece was attached.
When it’s all done, he’ll paint everything black, then install it permanently. Just a couple of attachments using the acetylene torch will turn the whole thing into one piece and it can be attached to the stairs.
This welding has to be done outside, due to sparks that would eat the floor.
I hope you found these pictures as interesting as I did. It’s fun to see safety, creativity, and craftsmanship all come together this way!
The last few weeks, I really felt like I’d lost my center. That’s one reason, I think, that I was letting things other people did or said affect me more than usual. Deep down, I wasn’t coming from my customary perspective of acceptance of my own worth, dignity, and humanity. I’d lost sight of my hard-earned understanding that what connects me with my spiritual core is the realization that I’m a mix of things I’m good at and things I’m working on, and both of those naturally will fluctuate, especially when there are a lot of outside stressors.
Does any of that feel familiar to you? Are you finding it harder to treat yourself the way you want to treat others, and they way you’d like to be treated! Have you lost your Golden Rule? Aha! Time for some centering!
Everyone finds their center differently, though there are common techniques many of us use. For me, meditation has always helped. Just breathing and not letting the cares of the day intrude for a while each day certainly can’t hurt. Other people call their meditation prayer or contemplation. It all works.
Could be a goddess. Could be Virgin Mary. Could be one of us. She sure looks like she’s centered, though. (It’s a statue called The Genius of Water, in Cincinnati, OH, USA. Photo by @CrosleySpelmanPhotography via Twenty20)
Deep breathing is a real help, too. Long ago, I noticed that when I am feeling super stressed I start holding my breath! Eek! As soon as I figured that out, I began to take that as a sign I need to stop whatever I’m doing and start a series of deep breaths, the kinds you do in yoga class, or in guided meditations. I have been known to pull into a parking lot and breathe a while. This aids when dealing with road rage (in self or others), too!
Over the weekend, I got a lot of time to myself to read and re-read helpful books (I’m working through The Sacred Enneagram, which has a remarkably helpful spiritual slant that makes me want to go thank a bunch of priests and is helping me deal with some of my prejudices and biases against organized religions). I had a lot of time to meditate. And like petals unfolding and revealing the heart of a flower, my center re-emerged.
I searched for “center” and the exact image I needed showed up. Miracle! Photo by @katjakholm.68 via Twenty20
I feel like myself again (hello, Suna)! And now that I’m coming from a much better mental space, all sorts of things are easing up. I’ve been able to deal with people I’ve found difficult in the past with grace and kindness. I’ve been a better family member. My work is going better. Funny how that works, right?
There’s still a lot to be done. I messed a lot of things up during my little bout with depression and hopelessness. I didn’t treat myself or others the way I’d want to, but I can be kind to myself now, learn from those mistakes, and move forward.
We’re all on a journey, as I like to remind myself. There are ups, downs, and curves along the road. Worse, we never “get there” until our life ends. Ya just keep going.
I chose this image because there’s only room for one person on this path, and that helps me remember we are all on our OWN paths, and they don’t look the same. I also like the marker up ahead, which reminds me it’s okay to set some goals, and maybe you’ll get to them. Photo by @trackin_scout via Twenty20
Failure and disappointment will show up. That reminds me: Chris read me a piece about failure this morning, which he said made him think of me. It talked about the opportunities that arise from “failing,” and was spot on. Once you fail, fall down, or regress, you get the opportunity to start again, maybe with some new knowledge or insight that will help you on your journey.
Insert platitude here! I’m full of them today. But I’m sincere. This is yesterday’s sunset, which looks much like the sunsets all week.
I’m wishing all of you peace and understanding, and encourage you to find the areas in your life where there IS hope, and insights into what your challenges can teach you on your own journey.
I’ve been being really careful with Apache since that day he couldn’t walk earlier this week. He’s rested and had some more pain meds.
We like hay.
This morning when I gave them their hay, I noticed him walking over to pester the chicken. Yes!
Tonight Chris and I went to feed the horses, and cows were getting moved, so I needed to take Apache and Fiona out. Apache walked like a normal horse and didn’t try to stop every three steps to eat. Whew.
Also. Sunset. Mmm.
He just seemed happy to be out with all of us humans (Ralph and Chris and Tyler were all talking about fencing). Honestly, just spending time with Fiona and Apache is good for my soul.
Who wouldn’t love this face?
We did get an appointment with Trixie to come out Monday and try out a boot. After that, if he still needs more, we’ve had some great other veterinary suggestions to try, so we won’t stop our battle with navicular disease.
One thing you can always count on me and my spouse, Lee, for is that we are looking to do better in the world, do better for each other, and do better for ourselves. Lately, Lee has been listening to dozens and dozens of podcasts, and is especially fond of the Daily Stoic. It applies ancient philosophy to today’s world, and has been really useful for Lee. There are books and such, too, which you can find on their website.
Simulated coffee drinking.
Most mornings while we are drinking coffee, Lee asks me some question he found in one of his podcasts, which helps me be more conversational (I’m not a morning person and neither is he, really). One of his questions is where I got the recent topic of saying “I get to” rather than “I’ve got to.”
Today he asked me what I’d done to make something better. He said it could be big or small, for myself or someone else. His answer was that he’d improved a QuickBooks process (which makes things much better for Mr. QuickBooks).
I fumbled around a bit, but then realized I’d posted a status on my public Facebook page last night that asked people what made them smile that day.
I think 65 comments is pretty good engagement!
The answers cheered me up, cheered other readers up, and no doubt helped people who maybe didn’t smile much that day remember something good that had happened. It was a simple thing, just asking a question, but it encouraged conversation and made people’s day better.
I got the idea from Joanna Fontaine Crawford, the minister at Live Oak UU Church, who very often asks questions like this and gets a lot of conversation going. I like it, because the questions come across as genuine, and not like it’s some meme that you are supposed to be guilted into copying and pasted. Asking a REAL question gets real answers!
Let’s see how this one goes over…
So, think about it, what have you made better so far today (or yesterday)? Ask yourself this every day, and your mindset can’t help but shift to a more positive direction. I plan to keep up both the practice of asking good questions and checking on what I did to make something better each day.
Yep, Chris is still plugging along at the Pope Residence project. You know what’s more fun than welding? Welding when it’s 104 F outside! That’s what’s been happening.
The butterflies and lantana don’t care about the heat!
Before welding could happen, though, a lot of planning had to be done, because there are lots and lots of specs and safety regulations we want to be sure to follow. You want to get a thing like this right the first time, since it’s going to be one sturdy, heavy item.
This may not be the best angle, but you can see it’s going up!
So far, the rails look beautiful. They are all at the right angle, high enough, and spaced appropriately. I am very impressed. I especially like the end of the rail. It’s a nice touch.
That’s just purty.
There’s still a lot of welding and attaching to do, and the rail has to turn the corner and finish going up the rest of the way. But hey, it’s cooling off and will only be in the mid-90s F for the next few days. This project is not for wimps.
There will be rails every 4 inches, of course. This is just the supports and framework. But look at all those levels.
On the local radio station’s morning show, good ole Joe always tells us what “days” are being celebrated. And today, Joe informed us that one of the many things celebrated on July 15 is National I Love Horses Day.
I have celebrated this day every day since I was given “hee haw,” my toy stuffed horse as a toddler.
The radio hosts (Joe and Rose of the Rose and Joe Breakfast Club) also like horses, so they had a good chat about that before launching into today’s recipe of Mexican Zucchini Casserole. I do enjoy the local KMIL radio.
Digression complete. Because I love horses, I worry about mine a lot. Yesterday, when Sara and I showed up to take Apache on his evening walk, he was not wanting to move. He’d started off a little stiff the day before, so I kept encouraging him. By the time he’d gotten only a little way down the path, I looked in his eyes and could see he just didn’t want to walk.
Monday night’s sunset, after I put ointment on his hooves.
We patted him a lot and let him eat a little grass, then turned around and went back. He was really having a hard time. What had changed? Well, Sara had gone riding on her horse yesterday and the day before. While she did that, she let Apache into the “normal” paddock to eat some grass, probably 45 minutes each day.
All she and I can figure is that even that much free grazing is too much for him right now. I’m really worried. If we can’t get him able to at least walk around comfortably and graze some, his quality of life will be pretty bad.
I also like cattle. But they’re more Kathleen’s thing! I just like the grass in her mouth.
Selfishly, I want to keep this guy around, because I really love him and have worked so hard to build a good relationship with him. I just hope that some more time and care will get him back on the mend. When you have an animal companion who relies on you to keep them safe and healthy, it’s a big responsibility. I want to do all that I can for my equine companion.
So, there will be no more extra turn-out for a while, and more pain meds, at least for a short while. I would prefer to only have him on the herbal stuff. I’ll be sure to be gentle as I try to get him to walk around a little. All of us at the ranch care about him, so I’m sure we’ll come up with more ideas.
From happier times earlier this year. Hoping we can get back to this some day, minus the bridle. I do hope to try the bitless bridle I cleaned up for him!
Do celebrate the day, today! Whether you know a horse “personally” or not, send our equine friends some love today. They are really special creatures.
Our little blog about the ranch and personal growth has been growing steadily, and one measure of that is the number of followers we have on WordPress. This afternoon, I was greeted with this:
Ta da!
We have 300 followers, and from what I can tell, a good portion of them are actually other human bloggers, and not some SEO-seeking drones, or whatever you’d call that.
Thanks, as always, to everyone who reads, comments, shares, and provides your perspectives. I may not be infallible, but I’m lovable, so you tell me.
I hope I sometimes encourage you to think or move outside your comfort zone. My favorite blogs do that for me!
Lee has been talking about how he’s reframing sentences that start with, “I’ve got to…” with the alternative of, “I get to.” sometimes a simple change like that works!
I’m trying it right now! Earlier I’d asked Lee if he wanted to pick me up some lunch, and join me, since I didn’t see anything at home I was hankering for. He suggested Domino’s, which has sandwiches we like and curbside pickup.
He checked with the folks working across the street, and they said they would join us, and said what they’d like.
Scenic Domino’s. Formerly the fancy farm and ranch place.
Next, Lee told me he has an online meeting he must take from home, so he can’t come (hmm, why did he agree before and choose the venue?). So, I practiced saying, “Oh boy, I get to drive to the pizza place.” And I envisioned getting out of the dungeon and such.
I got there. No food. Had to talk to the owner. Turns out, Lee had ordered in Rockdale. I “got to” call Rockdale and cancel, then “got to” go inside the store and re-order. (Or, I could have gotten to drive to Rockdale and pick it up, which would mean cold soggy food.) Luckily, I was the only customer in the restaurant, we were appropriately masked, and no one touched my credit card. And I have hand sanitizer in the car!
Now, I “get to” sit in the car while the food is prepared. That’s okay! I get to blog, and I came up with a blog topic for today. Score!
Later
I got to have a nice chat with the pizza store guy, and still had piping hot sandwiches and pizza when I got to the office. We all enjoyed our meals.
Mine was actually the veggie sandwich.
See, that have to/get to reframing really does work! All’s well that ends well!
In my recent post about core values, I mentioned the guiding principles I try to live by:
Treat others how you’d like to be treated
Assume good intentions
Love yourself
They go along with the core values I figured out that drive me: kindness and making a difference.
It’s important to revisit your intentions, because if you don’t keep putting them out into the world, they can just whither away. The stressful state most of the people I know are in right now makes it really, really easy to wallow in sadness, self-pity, or anxiety. People like me can experience some remarkably steep reversals in their personal growth (which I’ve mentioned a couple times in the past few weeks, so no need to beat that topic to death).
Perhaps I need this sign in my new office. Image by @dunahoot217 via Twenty20.
The Golden Rule’s been taking a bit of a beating lately, when I find myself getting defensive and not saying things as kindly as I would prefer to, and it doesn’t help that my attempts at being kind or helpful can get misinterpreted, leading to an ugly circle of no one being at their best. Knowing perfectly well that the only person whose behavior I can change is mine, I’m going to try to stay a little more in my higher self zone, and not reflect back any perceived negativity I get from friends and family, which might stop the circle.
I deserve a reward.
This brings me to the second principle, of assuming good intentions, or that everyone’s doing their best. This topic has independently come up a number of times in the past few days, which hints that I need to be paying attention, right? Just as I’m firmly convinced I’m doing my best (in other words, I’m not being mean just to be mean…ever), I need to remember that the people I interact with are ALSO doing their best. I have fallen down at this lately, but now’s the time to get started again!
Honestly, I don’t know anyone who’s a jerk just for fun (I’ve probably de-friended them), and even people with whom I disagree strongly usually have their hearts in the right place or are acting sincerely based on their upbringing, culture, and experiences. I have started practicing making a conscious effort at remembering that, and am amazed at how differently I act. I just need to keep it up, both online and in person!
Coming from a place of love, not anxiety!
Bear in mind, friends, that sometimes things just don’t come out like they are intended, whether from tone of voice, lack of tone of voice (text, email, social media posts), nervousness, or simple misunderstandings. I need to give people a break. People need to give me a break. We all need to give each other a break!
Lee and I have been having some good conversations on these kinds of things lately, and we’ve found our own communication getting a lot easier. I am proud of both of us! By explaining where we are coming from, we can be a lot easier on each other’s little foibles (because we ALL have them!). His support and understanding mean so much to me (along with some other helpful and trusted confidants). I suggest you try out the whole assuming good intent thing on those closest to YOU and see how it works!
Teamwork! That’s what counts, say the blue hairs (this picture is from early 2019 I think).
And one more thing, if anyone is at their best right now, firing on all cylinders, working at 100%, and treating everyone they encounter with kindness and understanding, please write a book really quickly and tell the rest of us how you did it! It would be a major blockbuster best seller!
The Hermits' Rest 