June 2023 – Page 2 – The Hermits' Rest

A Mighty Huntress Is Our Dog (and the reptile exhibit expands)

Hi there, readers. Sorry there was no blog yesterday, but I’ll be honest, I was not really feeling like writing about the happenings of the day. The Circle of Life is real, and it certainly becomes clear here at the Hermits’ Rest.

I tried to write this on our newly assembled loveseat, but that lasted five minutes.

I don’t think Great Danes have a reputation for being hunting dogs, but I guess they are bred to protect their property. We’re thinking of renaming Goldie to Artemis, because she truly is a mighty huntress.

Yesterday I went out to survey my domain and feed the chickens, as I normally do, and I saw Goldie intently watching something that looked to me like a bunny. I watched it slowly “hopping” away from the fenced-in area.

But when I got closer, I saw it was not a rabbit, but an injured armadillo. I knew who’d injured it right away, our mighty dog-goddess of the hunt. Goldie could no longer get to her, so my hope was that she could make it to her hole and heal up.

But I forgot that we have an actual hunting dog on the property, Vlassic. Apparently, he also got to the poor thing and hurt it a lot more. He was seen chomping away on the armadillo (which I didn’t see, or I would have stopped it).

By the time I came out in the afternoon, the dillo had made it to the front pond, where she got away from Vlassic, but couldn’t swim anymore. For some reason, this made me incredibly sad, like when the sick coyote died.

I guess I’m just too soft hearted when it comes to animals. Also, since I had just gotten the news that my late friend Christi’s son had just been indicted for her murder and I was still reeling from my two recent friend deaths, I think I am a little more open to sadness than usual. I feel imbalanced, like the scales that are usually balanced between life and death are tipped heavily over to the death side.

I was really sad when Goldie killed this, too. It was a snapping turtle. My favorite huge one.

I know it will pass. But it’s no fun right now. On the other hand, I did get a chance to examine an armadillo up close. It’s cool to see how many hairs they have. I thank the armadillo for the chance to see her. Don’t worry, I didn’t touch her, and she was disposed of properly.

So, our little zoo is still bringing me interesting surprises. This morning I found dozens of caterpillars on the sorrelvine behind the house. I recognized them as black swallowtails. With this many babies, we should have quite a display of butterflies when they emerge from their chrysalises.

But the biggest surprise was in the chicken house. When I went in this morning, I saw that my snake friend was still there from yesterday. I love the snake’s smiling face.

I came back later to see if I’d been left any eggs, and thought to myself, wow, that snake is really long, even for a rat snake (they get to be over six feet long).

Aha, I realized why it was so long. It had two heads. Yes, both my snake friends were actually hanging out in one of the nest boxes. There went my egg supply for the day (but they didn’t get Bertie Lee’s egg, which is always laid on the floor next to their exit door).

I wonder if they are a pair? I’ve seen two together over by the horse pens before.

Our reptile exhibit certainly is exciting. However, I am extra glad we haven’t had any copperheads or rattlesnakes showing up. On the other side of the river, there are lots of copperheads. We should be seeing rattlesnakes now, but I have only seen one this year (and I briskly left the vicinity).

I wish it weren’t so incredibly hot, smoky, and unpleasant outside. But, we’ll get through it. I want to be able to make more use of that new outdoor furniture. But the pool is always there to help me, especially after horse work!

Maybe I Had a Goal

To preface this, I note that I’ve always hated having to think about goals. You know, like these. What’s your goal for this month? For this year? Give me five SMART goals for your next year so we can grade you on it! What’s your financial planning goal? Worse are planners where you have to have goals for the day, the week, the month. Ugh. Not for me.

I just want to look at plants and ride horses. And knit.

I honestly don’t like to spend so much time living in the future and trying to get to something that may not matter by the time you get there. Hmm, reminds me of my goal to be a linguistics professor. Turns out I didn’t want to be one.

I did learn a lot in school, but I learn from plants, too.

Okay, so, I prefer to live in the present as much as possible and do what seems right at the time. But of course I need to plan things. And I have intentions, like going out in the RV at least once a month. But that’s not a goal. I won’t feel like I failed if we skip a month.

Still, I think there are goals hiding here and there that I don’t admit to myself. Today I achieved one and it felt good!

I’m finally to the stage of riding horses where it’s fun!

I think my goal when I started training with Tarrin was to be able to ride well enough to not have to concentrate on every tiny thing I was doing and not to worry that something bad was going to happen. With Apache, something scary was always happening. We weren’t partners at all.

Today, though, in our very hot and humid lesson, I suddenly realized I was enjoying myself and working on refining my skills, not fumbling around trying to remember to use this leg or that one, look with my belly button and not rely on my reins so much.

I even started laughing when I realized that Drew’s challenging issues turning left were fun to address, not scary.

And when Tarrin showed me how to properly ride with one rein, I enjoyed trying to get better at it. Woo hoo! Tarrin said it’s like something just clicked, and I moved to a new level. I think she’s right. My seat improved, my balance is good, my legs do stuff when they should, I make corrections at appropriate times…all stuff I struggled with recently.

I did better with Apache, but we were too busy for photos then. But look! One hand!

I made my goal! I even like trotting. It turns out that I’m better at it AND Apache is trotting better, too. Together we have supported each other as we each improve. That’s partnership growing. No wonder we have fun together now, even if we get all sweaty. He’s figuring stuff out, too (like cantering, which gets better every week).

He’s in the best shape of his life, which helps him improve.

And riding Drew is no longer something I dread. We are getting used to each other, too. I’m happier and happier with his progress toward being consistent and compliant.

I’m proud of myself for focusing on how straight I’m sitting in the saddle and how good my hands look rather than my unflattering outfit. That shirt sure kept me cool! Better acceptance of my 65-year-old shape is another hidden goal.

Today he was having a little left side issue, but Tarrin helped him work through it. I love that she listens to horses and helps them out so that they can then easily do what she asks.

I’ll allow myself horse goals, but I’m not putting a “do it by” date on them. I want to ride Drew in a show. And I want to canter on Apache. It will take as long as it takes. And I’ll have FUN getting there.

Stay safe. If you live near me, stay hydrated. Stay indoors if you have breathing problems, because there’s smoke from Mexican sugar cane harvesting out there. Such weird weather everywhere!

(If this makes no sense, it’s because I’m really tired.)

Living in a Zoo

Honestly, I often feel like I live in a zoo. There are just so many critters everywhere I look. This morning I went in to feed the chickens, and realized the rat snake exhibit had moved back in. The BIG one was in there today. I hope she liked her eggs.

Rather than show you the snake, enjoy the first third of the year in temperatures. I’ve started a new segment. It will have way more red and NO blue.

When I went to the Red House to be sure the weekend renters left it in good shape, I picked up branches the bad storm on Saturday had deposited. As I was doing that, I realized I’d moved part of the amphibian exhibit. There was a tiny baby Gulf Coast Toad. Awww.

I was basking in that cuteness as I took a pane of glass that had fallen out of the garage window (and didn’t break) into the safety of the garage, which was apparently doubling as an insect exhibit. The star was the stuff of my personal nightmares. It was a huge black horsefly. I got bitten by one as a child and can still feel it.

These things are not only painful, but deadly.

It’s all-black coloring reminds me of a trendy modern black house. Yes, it’s striking, but is a pain when it gets hot outside.

Luckily the zoo today had some cuteness, and for me it was the free-range cottontails in the pasture exhibit. The ones near the horse pens are still friendly. I enjoyed watching this one exploring and hinting that it wouldn’t mind sharing Dusty and Fiona’s food.

Bunnies aren’t the only ones who like the horses’ food. The chickens have figured out that every afternoon I go into a room and pour delicious pellets into buckets. Fiona’s dish is the perfect size for a pecking hen. This makes horse feeding time even more zoo-like!

I need to get better photos of the “arboretum” in Cameron. There are some crape myrtles that are breathtaking this year!

Back to my indoor menagerie for me. In the house we just have scorpions, moths, one cicada (a dog brought it in), and all the dogs. I’ll be glad when scorpions go back outside.

Carlton and Goldie would like me to go to bed.

My Favorite Luxury

What’s the one luxury you can’t live without?

Ha ha, today’s blog prompt has saved me from posting a picture of a caterpillar and a horse, and that’s it. Now I can answer this! I’m not averse to luxury, I have to say, but I don’t need it to be happy. Well, perhaps I need the expensive horses for my sanity…

That’s right, she needs me and my vet bills, body work, dental work, training, and supplements. Because I’m fun. (Apache is getting bodywork in this photo, with Jackie hiding behind him.)

But I think the luxury I need the most is my nail polish. I think I’ve loved nail polish as long as I’ve loved horses. Mmmmm. Nails.

I just love changing out my nails and growing them long. It’s like they’re a crop I grow for myself then make decorative. I guess there are reasons why I’ve always kept my nails fancy, even though I don’t see myself as fancy (just well coordinated).

When I was a kid, I had anxiety (duh) though I think we said I was nervous. I bit my nails to calm myself. The whole family pointed out how awful this was (though it was apparently fine that my brother bit his and as far as I know still does). I hated that I bit my nails but I sure loved it.

The women of the family prided themselves on nails. Natural nails. My grandmother on Mom’s side had long, painted nails. My mom always had beautiful red nails. My much older half sister always had really long nails painted a shade of mauve I hated. Okay, Granny Kendall bit her nails, and patted me while she said I had little stubby fingers , just like hers. She was a wonderful woman, but I didn’t want stubby fingers. I wanted to look elegant.

So, when I was ready for high school, which was a new start for me with mostly new people, I decided I’d try to have polished nails for the first day of school. I managed to grow my nails for three weeks by knitting and crocheting a lot to keep my hands busy. I had red nails for the first day of school. And a popular boy said they looked nice!

I never bit a nail again. By the end of 9th grade I had talons. It took me a while to learn to keep them a reasonable length. And oh wow, did I change colors a lot. My friend Lynn and I must have spent all our tiny allowances on cheap nail polish. Well, it kept us out of trouble.

I did go through a few years with no polish, but not many. I just like it. I did do gel nails for a year or so, but I had to stop when I realized it was messing up my nails big time. So, it was back to Essie and OPI, which lasted much longer than 1970s polish. Until a friend had a Color Street “party” or whatever those are called. It used to be Nail Bars.

Yeah. Nail polish strips with glitter, flowers, ombré effects and more were right up my alley. There are other similar brands, but these are made in the US and have great quality control. This luxury is a lot less than going to a salon. So I’m sticking with them.

They do have calm, solid colors. I just never pick those.

That’s enough advertisement for something I don’t get paid to endorse. I’m not a great influencer, I guess. But if you’d like to learn more, use this shopping link (through the end of June) and order a set. Or I can hook you up with a free sample. Again, this is just because I like the product.

In other news, both my horses are doing well, according to Jackie, who worked on them today. We had a good talk about stuff we gave to improve on for horse shows and promised to film each other if we can (we are in the same class, so we often are warming up or unsaddling when the other is riding).

I shared this lady week but our happy faces are worth sharing again. We were glad we survived.

We were thrilled that there was a breeze and it was a little cloudy today. It’s very hot already.

I did see some nature! This feller will grow up to be a gorgeous white spotted salt marsh moth. It was on a dandelion.

Do I Have a Tagline?

If humans had taglines, what would yours be?

Suna, she means well, honest

Yep. I think that does it. Now that I’ve stopped trying to please people who aren’t going to be pleased, now that I accept and like my flawed self, and now that my goals focus on enjoying watching the seasons pass and spreading kindness, I’m fine with a tagline that acknowledges my attempts often fall short of the mark. What matters to me most is that my intentions are to be a good person who leaves the world in a better place when I’m gone.

The tagline may not sound like much, but it’s been hard to get there. I work every day to be less judgmental, less sarcastic, and more accepting of people who aren’t like me. It’s a good goal.

View from hotel room in Cedar Park, Texas. I miss the limestone and the hills of where I used to live sometimes. Not enough to live in the suburbs again. Ever. Please.

Tonight my goal is to try to get some sleep after part 1 of a root canal and a lot of driving. Since my hotel last night wasn’t up to Hilton standards and work frustrated me like it usually doesn’t, today seemed very long, indeed, even if I did enjoy being back at the Dell office.

I just adore an office view (sung to the Green Acres theme song)

But, hey, I got a GOOD car wash and restocked all animal feed on my way back to Cameron. I did get at least something done!

Pride, the Good Kind

I’m feeling a lot of pride, but not the kind that “goeth before a fall.” My heart is swelling with pride for two reasons.

First, I talked yesterday about how my next-door horse and rider friends, Sara and Aragorn, had a hard time with the dressage portion of their show yesterday. The only pair they beat were the ones that got disqualified (not to worry, the rider did amazing on her other horse). I was so impressed with how Sara handled Aragorn’s disinclination to canter. Her plan was to see how he felt today, and try again.

And wow! They put the past behind them and seized the day today in the ease of handling and speed phases. They WON both. That made them overall champions in their class. I sure wish I could have seen them! I’m extremely proud of how well Sara came back. I knew Aragorn could do amazing things, because he had done so last week. I’m so glad his feet felt better and he did his best for his partner. I’m just thrilled.

I’m more thrilled than I look in this picture.

Who else am I proud of? My chubby, spotty, old buddy Apache. Like Aragorn did for Sara, Apache did his very best for me today as we filmed our Spring virtual show. Bear in mind that Apache is not as far along in his journey as Aragorn, so his very best isn’t glorious perfection; it’s improvement. And my equine partner did the best he could. There were lots of challenges, like gates, carrying flags, and doing complicated turns holding said flag. Oh, and doing three turns around barrels with me holding a giant pole. Heck, he almost sidepassed competently. Almost.

While not doing the show, he actually played in a puddle. Then he did a perfect jump! With me on him! Tarrin heard it, so I have verification. I’m very proud of his effort.

Now, by the time I got to Tarrin’s I was a bit flustered. We were quite late thanks to flat tires, running out of gas, and Lee not feeling great. And it’s getting HOT. But, I coped. I am damn sure I could have done better with practice, but for someone not used to using one rein I did okay. We managed to go through a gate going both ways, too. It wasn’t great form, but we didn’t knock anything over!

And I didn’t pass out, because I was hydrated.

I’ll admit to being proud of myself on the Functionality test. I did way better remembering it and actually enjoyed it. I’m improving, too. I smiled!

Truly, though, Apache was so relaxed and willing to try whatever I asked him that I had to be proud. I think we trust each other a lot more. We’re getting there! The money I’ve invested in training for myself and the horses is paying huge dividends.

Working with horses makes me much calmer, like now when I’m in Austin waiting for a root canal tomorrow.

Community, for the Win

Hey, thanks to each of you who’ve reached out about what I wrote yesterday. It sure helps you feel less alone to realize others are going through what you’re going through, and it’s gratifying to think maybe your convoluted thoughts brought comfort to others.

Today I accompanied Sara and Aragorn to a horse show in Waco. I just went to watch, which is what I do at US Working Equitation shows, because I’m not confident enough to try (and because I probably don’t have the time or funds to show in two organizations). I do enjoy watching their riders, and learn a lot from them and their beautiful horses.

There were so many horses. I had to root for the small gray horse.

It turns out that we had a conversation with one of our horse friends about what I mentioned earlier. She’s someone who freely shares her ups and downs in life, and her reasons echo mine. Talking about your challenges and how you get through them brings people together, helps them feel less isolated (in social media and in person), and helps create communities. We all benefit from finding people with whom we have commonalities. And who knew how much I’d learn from this gifted horse trainer about families, love, and letting go? You learn more than horse stuff at horse shows.

But the talented riders are darned educational, too.

The support of so many kinds that I’ve gotten through the years from my various communities has been invaluable. And yes, even on social media. The groups of folks I share with online both support me and give me a chance to support and encourage others. If you don’t have a community like this, find a group of people who share your interests. You’ll find all kinds of fascinating people, some of whom may become friends.

I consider Sara and Aragorn my friends. I had a couple of nice visits with him in his stall today.

As for the show, Aragorn was not into it today, but Sara’s attitude was great. She showed the horse she got today, and then worked to figure out what was going on. Was it the big ole insect sting he had? Was it because his shoes came off? Was it the trim she gave his hooves last night? She is going to address those potential issues for the second part of the show tomorrow.

I’m scheduled to see if Apache and I can get our act together to do a virtual show recording over at his favorite venue, Tarrin’s. Of course, we did have a big rain storm blow in this evening. We may be rained or mudded out. Whatever happens is fine. I can’t change things beyond my control. That lesson keeps bopping me over the head these days!

Again, thanks for your support and for the opportunity to provide some support in return.

Mourning Relationships

I didn’t write a blog post yesterday, because I was too caught up in an unexpected wave of emotions. I found out that another of my mentor/friends from my time in La Leche League had passed away quite unexpectedly. Mentor/friend. There’s a concept. I truly believe that everyone we get to know, even a little, teaches us something. Everyone who becomes a friend teaches us something we need to learn that will help us.

Losing Gail Moak, who was a friend and mentor to so many stunned and pained me. As I sat with my grief (when I finally got a moment) it occurred to me that what I am mourning more than anything is the end of opportunities to listen to Gail, to learn from her, and to support her when she needs support.

Luckily, my mentor/friend Nancy called right about then, as I was sweeping the front porch to dissipate my feelings of helplessness, and she understood what I meant when I told her I don’t mourn the loss of life, because I know that happens to us all; I mourn the loss of a real-time relationship. Wow, I really value relationships with people I care about.

Last night’s sunset comforted me, as the Earth often does in its perspective

I think I mourn losses of friendships the same way. When the incident with our Bobcat book club happened, I ended up feeling so sad that I’d lost the chance to connect with, learn from, and support some women I’d come to think of as friends. They’re still alive, but our relationship died. It still hurts.

There’s that cliche that people always say after a loss, something like tell those you care about that you love them, or hug your family now. I can understand where that impulse comes from. My dearest wish, when it comes to my friends and family, though, would be that they are secure in the knowledge that I value my relationship with them, whatever it is, and that I will mourn it when we part, however we do part.

There’s so much we don’t know. But we do know our connections are vital for our spirits.

Just a bit about Gail. I knew of her when I worked with La Leche League, but never met her until I was asked to serve on the Board of Friends of LLL, the group for retired Leaders and supporters of the organization. We worked closely on the newsletter when I was editor, spoke often during meetings, and communicated very much on social media.

I got to know what a caring person she was, and not just about mothers and babies. She was passionate about equal rights for all people and didn’t just talk about it, she acted. I learned ways to be a stronger ally for my Black, brown, and indigenous friends from her. I saw her kindness toward the LGBTQIA+ community and felt a kindred spirit in how she expressed love and, crucially, support for people trying to be themselves in an increasingly hostile environment.

I dedicated this butterfly to Gail’s spirit

Most important, she was one of my many Christian friends who remind me that there are Christ-like ways of following that tradition where all are loved, not just rich, white males and their followers.

I just had to get all of what’s been stewing inside of me out. Writing things down always helps ground me. Life without both my friends Johanna and Gail will be hard. Both of them will leave a little black hole in Zoom meetings where their squares should be, but my heart will be full of memories of my relationships with these mentor/friends.

Thanks to all of you readers who have touched me. You DO make a difference and you have each taught me a lesson (some fun, some not so fun). I’m very grateful to you all.

A Nice Lull

The good news is I feel better today. I was even able to ride Drew. Taking it easy was a good idea.

I was up in the middle of the night and got this weird picture of the orange moon rising, through the smudgy window.

I had a lot to do today but nothing too stressful. After our weekly friends’ lunch, Anita came over to get the Red House ready for guests while I did a bunch of meetings. It’s nice to hang out. And after work, we sat on the porch, taking advantage of the sunshades.

We love the porch just like the previous owner did.

I did scare a big moth while I was sweeping the porch. It’s beautiful.

After this peaceful break, all I had to do was hang out with my friends the horses and chickens, then float around in my pool of dreams.

Kathleen and I even saw another one of those cool spider wasps dragging along a hapless wolf spider. It must be wasp breeding season.

It’s really a relief to have a lull with no stress or drama. Even Lee had a good day! We are going to all enjoy the pleasant and peaceful lull while it lasts.

You Can Do It, Too: Nature Blogging!

Someone told me last week that they just couldn’t understand how I’m able to observe so many things around me and have time to document it. I’d never thought about it being a challenge. It’s just what I do. And I find it so rewarding and fun to keep learning about life around me.

So, in true formulaic blogger fashion, I’m going to list ways that you, too, can become a nature blogger (or at least a nature noticer).

1. Look where you’re going, up and down. When I lived in suburban Brushy Creek, near Round Rock, I always took long walks through my neighborhood, long before there were the great trails they have now. I tried to get my housemate, Jeff, to come along. He said it was boring, just going by those same houses every day. That flummoxed me. For me, I saw something different every day. The seasons changed, different flowers bloomed, birds flew by…but you had to look. Literally, there’s always something interesting to look at if you make an effort.

Today I looked up and saw a vulture stretching his wings.

2. Record what you see. I never go outside without my phone, because invariably there will be something I want to remember, even if I’m just checking the mail or gathering eggs. It takes a little practice to get good phone photos, and if you read this blog, you’ll know some of my images aren’t great, but they document what I’ve seen and let me look up more information.

I wanted to know more about this guy. It’s apparently a young garden spider. I’m not sure.

3. Educate yourself. The reason I took the Master Naturalist class in 2018 was that I wanted to know more about where I live. This way I know what’s normal for this area and what’s unique. I learned how to use iNaturalist to narrow down what I see and to get more from Wikipedia and other sources. Just using the ID function on your phone or a simple identification app will quickly teach you what you’re likely to see and what to look out for.

I knew it was time for the mustang grapes to start ripening. I did find a few!

4. Use all your senses. Listening for birds, butterflies, grasshoppers, and frogs helps a lot in knowing what’s around you. I wish there was a Merlin Frog ID app and a similar one for crickets and other insects. I hear them but only can ID a few frogs. And don’t forget the sense of smell! I know when rain lilies are out before I see them, and I’ve mentioned how lovely the aroma of bluebonnets and white clover can be!

The bluebonnets are just about done. This genista broom moth caterpillar found one.

5. Write it down or log it somehow. You’ll never remember all the things you see. That’s why I upload my photos to iNaturalist and add notes. It’s also really why I blog. I want to remember the stories behind where I’ve been, what I’ve seen, and how it affects me. I have a record of how the weather changes and what new things pop up. A notebook or journal is another great option. You can log the temperature and make art, like the afghan I’m making, or keep records of rainfall through the years like my husband does. It’s fascinating to analyze.

This temperature blanket has turned into a monster. I’ve decided I’m making it in 3 parts and sewing it together later.

6. Keep at it. That’s the key. The longer you make the effort to observe the world around you, make a record of what you’ve seen, and written up notes, the more you’ll have to compare, the easier it will be to identify who shares this world with you, and the more likely you are to want to care for the planet that cares for you.

Well, that’s what I think. I’m glad I got to get out a little today and look around. I’ve not been feeling well for a few days, so I’ve been taking it easy. I’ve got plans to help me handle the heat better than I did over the weekend! Now enjoy the outcome of my observations today, of the ranch in late spring.