Why I Don’t Wear Shorts

What, a person in Texas who doesn’t wear shorts? Yep, that’s me. I do own some, but I rarely wear them. I’d started wearing them around the house, but after this morning, that’s a big “no” from now on.

She even wears long pants when she’s sleeping. Ask me how I know.

Today, as I was getting dressed, I said to myself that no one was going to see me from the waist down other than Lee, and I was going to change into riding breeches to ride the horse, so why not wear some shorts and let my legs get a little sun?

It’s all swollen now. Nice.

Less than a half hour later, I went upstairs to get more coffee (downstairs Keurig had kicked the dust). As I walked to the coffeemaker, I passed dogs. Right at that moment, Goldie, Penney, and I think Harvey started to tussle. Penney has been acting aggressive to Goldie. I guess I need Cesar Milan. Anyway, there was my poor leg, right in the middle of all those dogs.

I discovered that scratches from dog feet that are actively engaged in a fight are much worse than ones from playful dogs or accidental contact. It hurt like heck! Now, if I’d had my usual sturdy blue jeans on, I probably would have been scratched, but just a little. There, one reason why I don’t wear shorts.

At least this one didn’t bleed much.

The other main reason I don’t wear shorts is that here at the ole Hermits’ Rest Ranch, the ground is covered by things that bite or sting or worse. Having pants (and closed-toe shoes, which I sometimes omit to my chagrin) on helps me avoid things like:

  • Fire ants
  • Spiders
  • Ticks
  • Wasps
  • Bees
  • Mosquitoes
  • Hairy caterpillars (ow)
  • Leaping dachshunds
  • Stinging nettles (charmingly called Nettleleaf Noseburn)
  • Mesquite thorns
  • Christmas cholla (cactus)
  • Prickly pear
  • Spear grass (aptly named)
  • Poison ivy
  • Sunflowers (leaves and stems are quite prickly)
  • Burr clover
  • Buffalo bur (giant burs)
  • Prickly lettuce
  • Bindweed (Smilax)
  • Hay
  • Barbed wire
  • Rusty pieces of metal
  • Baling wire
  • Horse/donkey hooves
  • And more!
Bad ole noseburn

Yeah. Texas is so welcoming, isn’t it? So, when we get that swimming pool, you can bet I will keep some pants nearby if I am stepping off the patio! By the way, contract is signed and money getting deposited. The process has started!

Example from real life. Walking a horse around a fence with barbed wire.
If they veer too close, well, ow.

I’m not inclined to ride horses in shorts, and usually wear boots, too. That’s because I tend to do trail riding or riding around things on the property, and if a horse spooks or has a mind of its own about where it wants to go, you can end up rubbing a lot of branches, metal objects, cactus plants, and so on. First time I rode Apache I got a nice scar from a mesquite thorn.

I hope wherever you are, nothing bites, stings, scratches or pokes you today. That seems like a reasonable goal, doesn’t it?

Author: Sue Ann (Suna) Kendall

The person behind The Hermits' Rest blog and many others. I'm a certified Texas Master Naturalist and love the nature of Milam County. I manage technical writers in Austin, help with Hearts Homes and Hands, a personal assistance service, in Cameron, and serve on three nonprofit boards. You may know me from La Leche League, knitting, iNaturalist, or Facebook. I'm interested in ALL of you!

2 thoughts on “Why I Don’t Wear Shorts”

  1. Dear Suna and Lee, just checking in. I loved the blog post! I remember at Kay & Ernest’s retirement house having to wear jeans, long socks over the jeans and flea collars around my ankles. I was so glad that Ernest fixed the yard around the house for Prissy.
    It looks lovely here, but we have deer ticks that fall from trees, giant “garden” spiders that take over the porch, and moles. They are so little and cute, but I’m always afraid of stepping through one of their tunnels in the back yard and breaking an ankle. So my combat boots are always at the back door.
    Anyway, as you guys know it’s been a rough winter and really bad summer. It hasn’t been as hot here, but the extended allergy season (climate change, what climate change 🤧😷) and smoke particulate turned my asthma into COPD. Just no energy and I’ve barely been in touch with anyone accept my ‘get vaccinated’ campaign. I will probably end up with a third dose as an over 65 and fragile. So I’m trying to let people know that I’m still alive and sort of kicking and haven’t forgotten anyone, I just keep procrastinating.
    Loved the horseback photo. Reminded me when I was 16 and took care of a friend’s quarterhorse while he was out of state for the summer. Trixie thought it was funny to rub my leg against a fence post or tree just to see if I would fall off. Or when we were loping and I tugged the reign for a whoa, would tiptoe stop and throw me over her head, then she’d just stand there and nibble on dry grass as if it was normal for me to be splat in the dust. I always wore jeans. 😄😅🤣🤣👍
    Once again, hope you are all OK. We’re surviving. Take it easy and best wishes.
    Trisha 💖

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lee was so happy to hear from you. Me too. I’m so glad you’re hanging in there. That smoke is messing us all up. We’d love to see you some time. And we are vaccinated!

      Like

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