Texas Weather Weirdness AND Trouble in Kindness Land

This holiday weekend has had some rough weather all over the US, and I am grateful to have had nothing worse than fog and light rain. But still, I got quite a weather surprise last night. All day it had been damp, a bit chilly, and breezy. I was glad to have my coat on for horsing around and walking with the dogs.

I heard a lot about Lego creativity from Mandi’s youngest son last night. He is really funny and clever.

So, around 7:30 or so, I went over to Mandi’s house to look for rattlesnakes…um, no, to watch her make pies and talk to her kids. I put on the same coat I’d worn all day, and stepped onto the porch. WHAT?? It was HOT outside! Yes, after sunset it had warmed up at least ten degrees, maybe more. Now, that is NOT a usual weather pattern! It appears that the front that had stalled over the state had moved back to the north and brought sauna-like conditions. That’s a new one! And right now it’s almost 80 degrees, on the last day of November!

Kindness Land

I realize I could have made two posts, but since no one’s really reading this stuff this weekend, I’ll just combine topics.

You see, I have been struggling with kindness in some areas of my life. Since being kind is important to me, I’m trying to build new patterns and attitudes toward people I come across. To be honest, there are always people we find hard to be kind to, whether it’s someone who treats us or another person rudely, the person whose driving puts you in danger, or a coworker with no boundaries (made-up examples; please don’t worry if I am referring to you).

I’m not referring to these guys, either.

The book I am reading for the work book club, Happier Now, has a chapter on this topic, and I happened to read it right when I was already thinking about how to be kind to people who aren’t kind to you. When I read their suggestions, I realized I already practiced their ideas to some extent.

The book invites you to think up some reason that the irritating person’s behaving that way. Do they have a sick relative they are worried about? Did they just get fired? Are they upset with someone else and taking it out on you? Are they feeling insecure about the situation you’re both in?

I used to drive my friend Jeff crazy by telling him the car that cut him off hadn’t set out that day to make his life miserable, but might be thinking about something else, in some huge hurry for a good reason, or just distracted, not malicious. I do that when people are rude in stores, too.

I consider Penney rude when she makes it very difficult to use the Surface in my lap to write blog posts.

Some rudnesses are harder than others to react in kindness to, and sometimes, in the moment, I blow it and express my raw feelings, unedited. That pretty much never helps. Yes, of course I am allowed to let the other person know that their behavior bothered me, hurt me, embarrassed me, or whatever, but there is always a way to react with kindness as well as truth. That’s just the way I want to BE in the world. I want to state my truth without putting others down or straining relationships. I want to build relationships, even with difficult people I’m going to place boundaries around.

For the past couple of days, I have been working on some relationships in my life to try to figure out underlying reasons they behave how they do and I behave how I do. It’s been hard as hell, but very useful. In the long run, I figure I’ll get better and better, and be more of my “higher self” when interacting with all kinds of people.

Expectations

One more thing: I do not expect others to act from the same principles that I do. For example, Lee is not at all into finding kinder ways to react to people. He finds that is not a part of his goals, which are to be truthful and, as he puts it, blunt. He expects people to take him at face value, and is not overly concerned if he hurts anyone’s feelings, as long as he makes his point clearly. As a hermit, he can deal with any consequences, and feels like he is treating people fairly.

Lee, hermitng away, writing his own damned blog post. Such a sweet curmudgeon.

I know that about Lee, and bear it in mind when interacting with him, just as I take most things said by people I know well with an understanding of their personalities and preferred communication styles. I can’t do it with everyone yet, but by golly I’m working on it.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on challenges to kindness, or whether kindness is worth it. I happen to know many people who find it a waste of time, so I’m curious.

Author: Sue Ann (Suna) Kendall

The person behind The Hermits' Rest blog. I work with Hermit Haus Redevelopment to help people quickly sell their houses. I do their social media! I'm a certified Texas Master Naturalist and love the nature of Milam County. I'm also a tech writer in Austin, secretly.

9 thoughts on “Texas Weather Weirdness AND Trouble in Kindness Land”

  1. Yes, we read your blog. Stuff happens to people you do not know about. Get mad if you have too but mostly be quiet and kind. My dogs got mad today and I had to spray them with water-weather was bothering them too😊

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I was surprised to read your post about kindness, because I think you always seem very kind. OTH, I feel like I’ve become less kind in recent years and sometimes I don’t want to be kind (and then I wonder why I feel like that). Jack says I’m “choosing myself” more than I used to and that’s ok. I’m conflicted about it. :-/

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think it’s possible to stand up for yourself and be honest without being mean, sarcastic or passive aggressive. I’m glad you do what works for you. Plus, I bet we all have times we don’t want to be kind. We’re human!

      Like

  3. I read your post! I count! After driving home from Shady Shores ,Texas in the rain and fog and crazy people driving, I realized that yes, my gosh it is humid. I even turned on the air because I could not sleep! Crazy weather!!!

    Like

  4. Reblogged this on Hermit House Redevelopment and commented:

    I’m sharing a blog post from my personal blog, since it’s about being kind to difficult people, and don’t we ALL run into difficult people in our work with real estate redevelopment? We would love your input on this (and we hope you enjoy the bonus weather report).

    Like

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