healing – The Hermits' Rest

Holidays Handled

When I had a nuclear family and when I had my children, I was one of those women who bought into the cultural norm of making my family happy for Christmas, just like my mom had done for me. She worked so hard with little money but much creativity.

Pretend there are cigarette ashes on the floor and this will be mom-like.

I fretted over decorations, presents, food, and such. I spent a lot of money on things I hoped would make people happy. Shoot, the year after my divorce, I gave my ex presents to set up a household (which he never used, but that’s another story). The point is I felt that I was showing my love through material things. And rather too much of it. I think it’s because I felt loved at Christmas as a child when I got my gifts. Not everyone else is me, though.

This aspect of my personality has been hard to mollify. Even when I saw gifts I’d worked hard to select never used, even when my children didn’t give me anything for birthdays, Valentines, or Christmas. But I finally worked through my “love language problem,” and ended the excess. Much backsliding has occurred in recent years, but since my sister and older son cut ties with us, my motivation to create good holidays has plummeted.

Now I can enjoy the parts of midwinter, the solstice, and the dark nights how I want to, with introspection and gratitude for what I do have, which is much.

It’s made this time of year much less stressful to no longer decorate the heck out of the house, spend hours looking for gifts, etc. I now enjoy spending time around the holidays with people who care about me and am fine without a big gathering. I enjoy going camping or staying in a cabin and receiving the gift of time with Lee, my son, and his partner.

For Yule, I’ve made gifts for the family that come from my heart. They can keep them, toss them, or whatever. I got joy from making the gifts and putting good intentions into them. That feels great. I’ve reached a good place of genuine good spirits and caring. No more grumpy Suna in a frenzy of materialistic capitalism.

This is idealized me as a happy angel with a grumpy angel trying to tempt me. I’m not sure how well I like the work of the “image playground.”

My hope is that each of you get the opportunity to do something that pleases YOU during the winter holidays. If you enjoy decorating, decorate! Or make cookies! Or buy great gifts! Or ponder your nativity scene and its meaning in your tradition. Just don’t fall too far into my trap of trying to make others happy.

Handling the holidays works best when everyone has some traditions to enjoy and time to share them with those who love and appreciate them.

Ah, No Stitches

I’m relieved to say I no longer have itchy stitches above my left eye. And yes, I removed them myself with clean (Anita asked, so you might also) nail clippers. One snip and out they came, saving me a couple of hours of travel and a visit to a place with scary germs.

I was surprised at how little the scar shows up. The stitch holes look worse than the cut. I know I’m a good healer, so I don’t think I’m deformed. It’s still swollen and tender, so I don’t plan any rash actions in the near future.

I’ll stick to artsy photos of dead thistles.

I did take my hurt black glasses over to Marvina’s House of Optical Whimsy (not its real name) to see if they could be fixed, but alas, the hinge is dead. So I made myself feel better by picking out some new (more whimsical) black frames and…maybe more whimsy. I do love eyeglasses. So does Marvina. Tomorrow I’ll get my eyes examined and patiently (not) wait for new frames. I just hope my prescription hasn’t changed so I can still use my other glasses.

Other than bird drama (Sandhill Cranes, a marauding Harrier, and a friendly Bewick’s Wren) today was calm. The big rain isn’t here yet, all livestock are great, and work is dandy.

I’ll stop before I make more typos. Sorry about the recent ones, for you email subscribers, but at least my friend Sue R finds them so I can fix them on the website. It takes a village!

Vibes, Prayers, and Intent

Two dear friends had surgery today. These women have given me great support, encouragement, and caring in the many years I’ve known them. They are two of the most thoughtful and loving people I’ve ever met, so naturally they were in my thoughts today.

I told my husband how relieved I was when I heard they were both home and starting the next phases of recovery. He probably thinks I’m a bit bonkers for caring about so many of my old colleagues from the nonprofit years, but we went through so much together. I owe them my loyalty as so many have been so good to me.

The way I thought about my friends all day made me muse about how handy it would be if I had some sky dude to pray to. But even when I tried to pray as a child, I always thought God would get more of a feeling than my laundry list of specific entreaties. Nonetheless I find myself doing my pagan Buddhist version of sending out Lovingkindness aimed toward the West Coast of North America, where my friends are. I just feel it in my bones that positive intent has an effect on us.

No doubt humans have an instinctual drive to try to make things better for friends and family. And for all I know the vibes I send out may help. They help me, at least, to feel connected. I’ve heard that people recover better when they know others are cheering them on, but I’m not sure. I can hope!

Perhaps if folks spent more time sending positive energy and good intent out and less time blaming others for sickness, natural disasters, and all that, we’d start to think and behave differently. To make the world better takes more than thoughts and prayers, of course, but if it leads to action, maybe humanity could slow the downward spiral we and our planet are in.

I’m off to beam out healing vibes now. Good night.

Mushrooms and sun, we had a break from rain.

Little Miss Forest Bather

I read a lot. Apparently what I read sinks into my being and comes out unbidden, making me think I have original ideas. Or maybe I repeat other people’s ideas unbidden.

All creativity borrows from others. Um, this is a Clouded Skipper with an interesting wing. It’s just here because it’s pretty.

Anyway, I laughed at myself a lot this evening at our Master Naturalist meeting. The speaker was a very nice woman with whom I can tell I have much in common. The second she saw me she complimented my shoes, for example (I do highly recommend Converse high tops with the comfort insole—mmm comfy).

Comfortable and cute as heck. I designed them.

Anyway, the speaker is an accredited leader in shinrin-ryoku or forest bathing, which is a formalized way of doing what I do every dang day. I’ve read about it a lot since it was developed in Japan and love the fact that they’ve done research that shows the positive effects of hanging out in nature with intent. You know, what makes intuitive sense to folks like me. But now there’s science!

Apache says his favorite part of the formal forest walks would be the tea ceremony afterward. He is preparing tea from dried dove weed leaves. He wouldn’t touch a living plant.

What tickled me was that as she talked, every time she was at a loss for words or needed help with a concept, I just blurted out helpful information. Wow, is all that information easily accessible in my brain. I was either quite helpful or annoying. But, the information she provided was in essence a more formalized distillation of what I yammer on and on about in this blog and on Facebook every day. So I knew her talk, just not her reference material. I just stood/sat there smiling to myself through the whole thing.

I just kept laughing at myself whenever she suggested a practice, like sitting for 20 minutes or so in one place every day and just absorbing your surroundings. Yup. I do that in what Lee calls my Birding Chair. Before the chair, I just stood up, in any weather, except rain. Little did I know, that chair is my Sit Spot and there’s a whole book on it. I should have asked my friend Ann, who also does all this stuff but DID read the books.

Me and Ann being silly after the presentation.

I feel quite au courant with all my woodland wanderings and spot sitting. However, my urge to identify things as a naturalist means many of my walks aren’t forest bathing at all. But that’s okay with me. The Shinto/Zen side of me can coexist with my inner taxonomist. It all keeps me centered and happier.

If I were into more structured events, I’d consider taking the training to be one of the guides in this discipline. It must be very rewarding to see people experience nature washing over them for the first time. It can be so healing, and we all need that!

For further reading (I have permission to share)

Sore and Tired, but Fine!

As it is with car accidents, it takes a while to figure out all the places you hurt when you experience a “sudden dismount.” For example, when I’d just found myself on the ground, my shoulder and head hurt the most. But my rear end and arms are now bruised up, not the shoulder. My headache is mild, but all my core muscles are yelling at me. That’s probably from trying to stay up.

But let me tell you! Aleve (naproxen) is a miracle drug! I took two around 9 am and I felt ok until around 8 pm. They aren’t kidding with that 12-hour claim. Tomorrow I’ll just take one. I could tell I was sore all day, but I could walk, drive, bend over, and pick up 50-pound bags of horse feed. My bicep did complain at the latter, but the horses had to eat and their bins were empty.

I admit I did spend a little time today just watching these guys. (Hackberry Emperor)

Speaking of horses eating things, I was disappointed that Apache stopped taking his Prascend embedded in Sara’s fancy cookies. But she turned me on to something better, which I think Tarrin mentioned, too: sweet senior feed.

I guess it’s horse crack, chocolate brownie, or something. It’s pretty much the exact opposite of what Apache should eat. But he didn’t even notice his pill inside a handful of this stuff. Let’s hope it works, because I have 50 pounds of it and I’m certainly not giving it to the other horses.

I’m glad I’m back to enjoying the horses a bit more. They all seem content. It helps that it didn’t rain for two days so the pens aren’t solid mud. Of course, rain is coming tomorrow.

We will eat anything, including coconut.

I had a nice dinner with my son and his partner tonight. They were pretty chipper for people who had just returned from a challenging family trip. They figured out how to make the best of it, which ain’t easy. Those two are really thriving right now, and that makes me quite pleased.

Like this American Snout, they have good perspective (look at its little curled proboscis!)

I guess we are all looking at the positive side of our challenges right now. I hope it’s contagious!

Nature Is the Best Medicine

I’m feeling a little better, and it’s for two good reasons: I got out in nature AND I got to eat something, finally, at 2 pm (oops, one should remember to eat). I should have known spending all day cooped up in the condo yesterday wasn’t the best thing for my delicate sensibilities.

Seeing a real beach bunny would cheer anyone up!

We finally drug ourselves out of the house, and I told Lee I had to eat before we went to a park. That was harder than you’d think, because most of the restaurants on the west side of the main road closed during COVID. We eventually did a U-turn and decided it was about time to eat at one of those pancake restaurants.

The first open one we found was the Plantation Pancake House, which made me just as uncomfortable as attending Plantation High School did, but, to be honest, the restaurant IS on a former plantation. What a charming, nostalgic place this was. It opened in the early 70s, and I don’t think there’s been any redecorating since then. However, it was sparkling clean and had lovely healthy hanging plants throughout.

Our food was all freshly cooked by the very nice cook (I know this, because he was chatting with customers and hugging the servers). But what made me feel like I had gone back in time was how the staff interacted. They were so incredibly cheerful and helpful, toward patrons and each other. They seemed to truly like working there, like each other, and have pride in the restaurant. Watching the servers all cleaning and straightening the restaurant at the end of the day was a real pleasure. This was simply a nice, family place who treats the staff well (and they were old, young, black, white, and Hispanic).

After the victuals, we headed just a couple of miles down the road (not wanting to waste gas) and arrived at Myrtle Beach State Park. We had a blast at this place, which is the last piece of natural beach left on the Grand Strand. We first checked out the nature center, which was very entertaining, with aquariums and terrariums, plus a real friendly volunteer to chat with. We got to see a whelk out of its shell trundling along, a couple of types of crabs, and a beautiful rat snake. We spent a LOT of time at their really nice bird feeders, too. Click to see larger and uncropped photos.

Lee and I then embarked on a tour of all the heavily wooded nature trails. I was reminded of how incredibly varied the native hardwood forests on the east coast originally were. There were oaks, pines, cherries, sycamores, magnolias, dogwoods, hickories, and even native olives. It smelled so nice and woodsy. Click to see the pictures larger.

We enjoyed the smaller plants, too, and were happy to see ducks, turtles, skinks, and a lot of different kinds of dragonflies and damselflies. There were wetlands as well as drier parts, which gave me a chance to see so many new and familiar things. And the park is so well done! They have signs on the trail marking many of the common plants, with some facts about them. That really adds to the enjoyment, I think.

This was exactly what I needed for healing: nature to touch, feel, hear, see, and smell. You could still hear the motorcycles, but you could also hear dozens of kinds of birds. I did get surprised when fighter jets took off from the nearby airport. Those things are loud.

We are two happy campers now, and I happen to know Lee is going to get even happier later tonight! Stay tuned…