gifts – The Hermits' Rest

Holidays Handled

When I had a nuclear family and when I had my children, I was one of those women who bought into the cultural norm of making my family happy for Christmas, just like my mom had done for me. She worked so hard with little money but much creativity.

Pretend there are cigarette ashes on the floor and this will be mom-like.

I fretted over decorations, presents, food, and such. I spent a lot of money on things I hoped would make people happy. Shoot, the year after my divorce, I gave my ex presents to set up a household (which he never used, but that’s another story). The point is I felt that I was showing my love through material things. And rather too much of it. I think it’s because I felt loved at Christmas as a child when I got my gifts. Not everyone else is me, though.

This aspect of my personality has been hard to mollify. Even when I saw gifts I’d worked hard to select never used, even when my children didn’t give me anything for birthdays, Valentines, or Christmas. But I finally worked through my “love language problem,” and ended the excess. Much backsliding has occurred in recent years, but since my sister and older son cut ties with us, my motivation to create good holidays has plummeted.

Now I can enjoy the parts of midwinter, the solstice, and the dark nights how I want to, with introspection and gratitude for what I do have, which is much.

It’s made this time of year much less stressful to no longer decorate the heck out of the house, spend hours looking for gifts, etc. I now enjoy spending time around the holidays with people who care about me and am fine without a big gathering. I enjoy going camping or staying in a cabin and receiving the gift of time with Lee, my son, and his partner.

For Yule, I’ve made gifts for the family that come from my heart. They can keep them, toss them, or whatever. I got joy from making the gifts and putting good intentions into them. That feels great. I’ve reached a good place of genuine good spirits and caring. No more grumpy Suna in a frenzy of materialistic capitalism.

This is idealized me as a happy angel with a grumpy angel trying to tempt me. I’m not sure how well I like the work of the “image playground.”

My hope is that each of you get the opportunity to do something that pleases YOU during the winter holidays. If you enjoy decorating, decorate! Or make cookies! Or buy great gifts! Or ponder your nativity scene and its meaning in your tradition. Just don’t fall too far into my trap of trying to make others happy.

Handling the holidays works best when everyone has some traditions to enjoy and time to share them with those who love and appreciate them.

Birds, Woods, Gifts

Share one of the best gifts you’ve ever received.

Being out camping makes it easy to talk about two of the best gifts I’ve ever received, and share my famous/endless nature photos with y’all, too.

Maybe a beaver pond on Lake Ray Roberts.

I talked about this back when I got it, but I’ll repeat that my bird journal is a gift that means a lot to me. The amount of time my husband put into designing the format, finding hundreds of bird pictures, printing the book, then binding it himself was considerable! It’s not just a journal for writing down my sightings, but it’s also made just for me. I use it daily and am reminded of all the kindness deep within Lee’s hermit heart.

The other gift I’ve appreciated a lot is the opportunity to be out in nature so much since we got this motorhome. It’s helped keep me mentally and physically healthy. Lee drives me quite cheerfully and is fine when I go away for over three hours looking at plants and birds. He also kindly drives me to horse events, which are another element of my sanity.

I think we’re getting our money’s worth with this monster.

I may have overdone it today, since my stomach has been unhappy and hiking the entire equestrian trail probably didn’t help it. But I lived.

The trail passed an old homestead chimney.

The trail was worth it, with interesting sights I didn’t expect. The part of the park I was in today has much more varied microclimates, and there was evidence of a controlled burn not too long ago. I could also see that a lot of brush had been cut back, perhaps to create more prairie areas.

The fire may also help in another way. I was charmed to realize I’d walked into a pine forest. It’s apparently cut off from the piney woods, like lost pines near Austin. The fire may encourage more young pine trees. They are needed, because many of the pines I saw were quite old. They were just beautiful.

I managed to see and hear more birds today. Many were by water, including the pond shown at the top of this post. I heard a belted kingfisher go on and on, along with four woodpeckers and many small birds. At one point I saw a downy and red-bellied woodpecker on the same tree! Near there I flushed an owl, which was another fun surprise. All my sightings went into Merlin, because they are tallied as part of the Great Backyard Bird Count . I’m happy to participate in this!

I did run into a few folks on the trail, two sets with unleashed dogs, and three horse groups. I was able to warn two groups of a tree that was blocking the path. The third group was four Mexican-American men with authentic outfits, great hats, and excellent cowboy hats. Their horses were fancy as they were, too.

I politely didn’t photograph the riders, but this is the tree. It must have fallen recently, because the trails are well maintained.

It was a lot of fun, even with a stomach ache. I did take it easy the rest of the day. We watched The Big Year, which is still very funny, and I was impressed by how much more I understood about the bird content than I did when the movie came out. It’s funny even for non birders.

Here’s where I walked today. Yesterday I walked north to Quail Run.

Now to get ready to work in the morning then drive home. I’m glad I can work in the evening to make up for the drive time. Of course, it’s nice and warm here starting tomorrow. But it will be warm at home, so I can horse around.

A Gift of Mutual Acceptance

What is the greatest gift someone could give you?

The gift I want most in the world would be to repair my relationship with my older son and come to some kind of mutual acceptance of each other, just as we are. Understanding of perceived mistakes or failings on each of our parts is something we could do. I’d be willing to try. Anyone willing to help bring us back together would receive my eternal gratitude.

Foggy morning leads to melancholic musings

Well, that’s not something I foresee happening after five years. So I’ll add that the greatest gifts I do receive are friendship and acceptance. I think we all would like to feel accepted and like we fit in. I treasure my community of kind and open hearted friends who accept each other, warts and all.

Online friends count, too. So many of us would feel very isolated if it weren’t for our friends who are connected on social media, on video chats, and in blogs. Social media is NOT all bad.

Daily Bird

Well, there weren’t many birds out today, because it was so foggy and cold.

The highlight today was the reappearance of one of my favorites, the barred owl. I’ve read that barred owls and great horned owls don’t like to live together, so I was happy to hear one this morning. Hooray!

What’s That Glow?

There’s a certain glow here at the ranch house, and it’s not a tree or a menorah. Nor is it the glow of my cheeks from hanging out in the woods listening to birds.

The glow is from the uranium in the gift from my spouse that was procured today. Yep.

There really wasn’t much going on here today, but since we’re going out of town Monday, we didn’t want to camp. So we went for a drive and ended up in scenic Waco, Texas, an hour north of us (though we wandered around to get there.

Now, it’s not like nothing happened. I did my nails. Reindeer Whisperer and a bow.

When we got to Waco we bypassed all tourist attractions, even the ones I like (mammoth remains, cute zoo, wetland park) and just explored different neighborhoods from poor to gentrifying to comfortable to fancy ones by the lake.

I guess it’s pretty sad that my first highlight of the trip was eating at Bush’s Chicken. It’s my favorite, crunchy on the outside and hit and juicy in the inside. Plus there’s fried okra.

After we ate, Lee decided he wanted to go to an antique store, so searched out the closest one. It was a good idea.

We went to an old neighborhood with lots of restored houses, where Show and Tell Antiques is located. (Link is to Facebook page.) This place is great fun for antique lovers and those interested in old houses in need of restoration.

I was too busy looking at stuff in every nook and cranny to take pictures but loved the old kitchen and bathrooms in the 1908 house built for a Doctor Pepper founder (another Waco claim to fame).

Check out that stove and floor in the kitchen!

This place is extra cool. Since I love glassware and china, I had a blast. I also enjoyed talking to family members, who shared lots of history and may have been making sure we didn’t shoplift.

I was amazed at this collection of very old needlework magazines, which I did not get, because, well, I already have a lot of this kind of thing.

I honestly wasn’t going to get anything until I saw two tiny purple hobnail glass containers, probably for matches or toothpicks. They are just perfect t for my window display of purple glass in my bathroom.

Then I went in a dark corner under the stairs. What did I see? Vaseline glass. Not fake. And by gosh there were things shaped like logs. Even the little legs on the items looked like tree stumps.

So, if you aren’t a collector of art glass, you might not know how cool this Vaseline glass (with bonus opalescence) is. It has uranium in it! I know a couple of collectors with many interesting pieces that I’ve enjoyed looking at, but I never had anything. This little set is so perfect for a nature lover…I glowed with love.

The log is a sugar bowl and the pump is a creamer, I learned. By the way, it’s safe to display.

Lee thinks I’m weird but got it for me as a Yule gift, a bit early. We didn’t get much bargaining, but I was ok with it. I’ve checked the prices online. You can pay more or less. But look, it glows in black light!

Now I feel extra justified in buying that black light flashlight!

I’m not sure where I’ll put the little keepsakes. I have them in my bedroom but they disappear against the yellow walls. I’ll put them I. My corner hutch, where I can see them from bed, perhaps. But this pleased me a lot. I always wanted some Vaseline glass, but never found exactly what I wanted. It was this. (The set is not particularly uncommon but not overly plentiful either—it was made by Northwood probably in the early twentieth century.)

As a bonus, I got to enjoy clouds and the sunset on the way home. So good. The sun also glows with scary rays, so it fits!

Daily Bird

It was rather quiet this morning when I went out, but I ended up with 38 birds heard, and some great viewing experiences. The two owls at the top of the post were impressive, but I also enjoyed watching the antics of a teeny red-eyed vireo. But the bird of the day is one I hadn’t heard here until today, the red-breasted nuthatch.

I didn’t see this one, but I heard it. I saw one in Buescher State Park, though, and it was cute as heck going up and down a tree. I’m fond of birds that climb like that, like the brown creeper.

I’ll remember today for so many reasons!

Early Anniversary Gift – WOW

I am completely bowled over by the wonderful gift Lee made me for our 15th wedding anniversary. It may be “only” 15 years, but we’re very pleased to have had such a great time in our late-life relationship.

I’d been seeing Lee messing around on his computer a lot lately and I was really wondering why he was putting so many photos of birds in his journal. It’s not that he doesn’t like birds, but he’s not crazy about them like I am.

I knew he’s been practicing book binding and has bound a couple of books he wrote and plans to bind recent journals. On top of that he’d asked me a few questions about my own journal. But I didn’t think anything of it until he spilled the beans that he was making me a journal for an anniversary gift!

There is a great deal of hand work involved in book binding. Lee decided to tell me what he was doing so he could hang out with me while he hand sewed all the signatures (units of a certain number of pages) together. Otherwise I wouldn’t have seen him last weekend. He sewed it with red thread, too. I like red.

I’d have been impressed just with a blank book, having watched how hard it is to press all the pages together, create the cover (with genuine book cloth), and affix the cover to the book (I think that’s the actual binding part—gee, I worked for a book publisher in my twenties and still don’t know all the terms).

But no, he made a bullet journal with dots on the pages, a pretty place to write headings, and lovely images on each page, which he cut with his scary killer paper cutter to go all the way to the edges.

And it has a cute title page. It’s really a labor of love, which I truly appreciate. It means SO much to me to get a handmade gift, especially one so carefully thought out. I’m going to use it as a bird journal, so it will be in use a long time.

What did I get him? I also gave him his gift early. It was a bunch of tasteful linen book cloth from a library supply company. I guess we were thinking along the same lines.

Lee got a really good new printer that will print in high quality on large paper, so now he’s working on book sleeves. I just want to print horse pictures, of course.

I said the above to Lee and a minute later he handed me this. It’s pretty impressive!

Daily Bird

I thought I was going to have to do the cranes again, because until late in the evening the only birds I’d heard or seen were dozens and dozens of them. The day had started out very windy and cold, so no one was flitting about.

But, as I was putting Apache’s saddle away and listening to cranes, I heard something else interesting. I started the Merlin app and finished what I was doing and let the horses out of their pens.

I was right! I was hearing owls. Multiple owls. Great horned owls! The only known predators of the barred owls who are usually here! Where did all these owls come from? I don’t have an answer, but this was my first time hearing them here. They make the “normal” hoo-hoo owl sound, among others.

To add to the wonder of the evening, all the black vultures started heading to their roosts for the night. There were 25 I counted. It was lucky that the wind had died down and there was no traffic noise from FM 485 for once. I could hear their wings beating. I love that sound.

The sunset was also beautiful, but I was too busy listening to take a photo. Here’s last night at Tarrin’s house.

Gifts of Love That Live On and On

No doubt I’ve mentioned before that one of my “love languages” is gifts. This is funny to me because I’m not a very good gift giver. Or maybe it’s just that I don’t like to just randomly give things; I want to give meaningful gifts. For example, we didn’t do much for Christmas this year, but I did give everyone in my immediate family (plus Anita and my neighbor Sara) t-shirts with the Hermits’ Rest logo and “Hermits’ Rest Ranch and Family Compound, Walker’s Creek Texas, Est. 2012” on the back. Most had their name on the front, too. I did this to support a local woman who started a t-shirt business and to celebrate ten years of the ranch. That had meaning to me. Of course, no one has worn theirs, but that’s fine. It’s the thought that counts.

And that’s the deal right there. Because gifts from the heart mean so much to me, I treasure them, often for years and years. I have carted some items that probably appear meaningless with me everywhere I’ve moved, because my heart softens a little bit when I see them.

Tiny, stained decoupage pansies my mom made for me. Been with me 40 years or so.

And when I look around my house, I’m reminded of people I’ve loved throughout my life, as if they are with me and supporting me wherever I go and whatever is happening to me.

Fu dog from Delores, my high-school boyfriend’s mom.

Sure, the minimalists think that things are just things, and they may well be correct, literally. But I’m more like a Japanese Shinto practitioner in that for me, objects have spirits, vibrations, or special meaning that is more than just their utilitarian form or function. As I often point out when someone says I’m rather “woo-woo,” there are many things in the Universe that we humans do not yet understand or may not even be capable of understanding, so who’s to say there aren’t special vibrations or connections between objects and people who have made them or touched them?

Mandala from India given to me in 1987 by Alice Davidson, a grad school mentor.

I know I put a lot of love into things I make for people that I hope somehow comes through to them. And I feel love from things people make for me or buy with me in mind. I feel little internal hugs when I am reminded of these dear souls.

My therapist/friend made me this mama bear necklace with protective stones around the time of my divorce from my kids’ dad.

My motley collection of objects helps me feel grounded and connected to my community, my spirituality, and my planet. I feel the love from long-departed loved ones through their gifts, and that brings me contentment and peace. That’s worth having to deal with a bit of clutter, I think.

Teapot from Mama Rose, my friend Jeff’s dear mother.

(And if you don’t like my clutter, don’t hang out with me!)

Jade from Delores, hand-blown glass from a coworker in the 80s, a bell from Aunt Joyce

Hail Drops Keep Falling on My Head

What a day! I’ve experienced laughter, surprise and true joy today. Where to start?

Let’s start with surprise, shall we? I got a voicemail from the local florist saying I had flowers and I’d better hurry over before they closed. I’d been in a long meeting, so we went over just in time to get the flowers, all the while wondering what the occasion was.

Well what a surprise to find out that these beautiful spring flowers were sent to me by the four horses I’ve been caring for since my niece has been dealing with health issues. I guess they really appreciate the magnesium supplements?

I’m just glad they are okay! It what a sweet surprise. I was really touched. Now let’s talk about laughter.

The dogs were going on and on this morning while I was trying to concentrate. There was also much mooing. It turns out that the young cattle next door wanted to play and were actually mooing to get the dogs’ attention.

Lee and I got a good chuckle watching the dogs and calves run and play with each other.

Speaking of laughing, I’m laughing because we actually managed to get most of the skunk smell out of the house! The stuff we used worked! Even Alfred is ok. Go Angry Orange stuff!

But what about the pure joy? It has to do with the hail drops in the title of this post. It was getting stormy tonight, so I enjoyed taking some cloud photos.

I ran out to put the chickens in and let the horses out after dinner as raindrops began to fall.

After dinner I took a few photos, because it was cool how it looked clear to the south and very stormy to the north.

By the time I could get out to the hot tub to try to soothe my back, drops of rain were falling. Poor Lee really needed the hot tub after falling yesterday. We both made it in as the rain started falling harder.

There was lightning and constant thunder, sounding like machinery. Now, I know you should get out of the water when lightning is happening. But I thought what the heck. I’ve achieved all my life goals. Let’s enjoy the show.

While I didn’t care about me, I didn’t want to damage my phone, so there are no photos of my joy. But wow, it was beautiful to sit in the hot water with cold rain falling and making beautiful patterns on the water.

Then, ooh, little sharp pains hit my face and ears. Hail was falling! There were tiny ice cubes all over the patio. It was so much fun to sit there and experience Nature in her fury.

Horses on their way to hide. I knew all was well when they came back out of their shelter!

Soon the storm passed. I was so full of joy. I was also lucky. Apparently the storm picked up strength and is bringing bad hail to the east of us. I’m glad giant ice rocks didn’t fall on my head!

A Gift from the Heart

This repetition may be getting tiresome, but I’ll say it again. No matter what stress and strain life presents, there are always bits of happiness that help you get through. Yesterday was one of those times!

My husband, Lee, followed through on a promise he made to me a few years ago, and made me a headboard for our bed out of recycled materials. The headboard was originally a set of double doors that led from the living room to the dining room in one of the houses we owned on Travis Avenue in Cameron. We had taken that wall and another one down to make the living area of the house larger.

Lee held on to those doors all this time, hoping to be able to do something to recycle them. He also knew I’d been asking for a headboard for our bed at the Hermits’ Rest house.

He decided to do it this year, and figured out a plan. It sounds like it was a lot of fun to work on, hiding in the garage room. He and his nephew apparently had a lot of fun asking at the hardware store for a brownish kind of red color to paint it. They ended up with a lovely color called Red Ochre. That reminds me of all my reading on the color red! Ochre is the first paint the people used in caves, other than charcoal!

At last the weather cooperated enough that he could paint the doors. They called me in to take a look, and I was so touched to see it the red doors. Lee was trying to make them look rustic, and did a great job not making it look perfect.

You can see bits of the original wood stain, and the brush strokes. It’s intentionally rustic.

Once he scraped off the paint on the panes of glass, it was quite lovely.

Here you can see the supports behind the headboard. Also, you can see an electrical outlet. Luckily, there was a broken pane of glass RIGHT where the outlet for the cord that keeps the bed pumped up is!

Last night, Lee installed it, all by himself (tiny help from me and the nephew, but mostly him).

It’s up. Great picture of Lee’s bed that raises up and down, too.

There’s a ledge of trim that connects the two doors and turns them into one piece.

Here you can see how the headboard sits on something sturdy. The piece of trim does a great job connecting the doors. We left the holes for the handle, for authenticity.

There are also many screws, and such, including an invented kind of attachment that holds the bed to the headboard, courtesy of our resident mechanical genius. I’m just amazed!

The dogs were relieved to have their bed back. They did not like it moved to the middle of the room.

I don’t have a picture of everything completely set up, but you can get the idea.

I slept well last night, thanks to my new bed. I felt loved and appreciated. I’ll think of Lee every time I walk into the bedroom now (as if I didn’t, anyway).

What treasured objects remind you of someone you love every time you look at them?

Exciting New Uses for Tongs and Other Items

This morning, I was emptying the dishwasher of items used in last night’s holiday meal. I kept picking up tongs. Tongs and more tongs.

I’m a person who never uses tongs. I’m not sure why. I just use other kitchen tools. I don’t think I’ve ever intentionally bought tongs. So, how did we get EIGHT pairs of tongs?

Anita and I were baffled. With such an extensive collection, we could do so much! We could open a store called “Just Tongs.” When my cousin, Jan, called she suggested a Tong Monster Halloween costume. Hmm.

You could play a game where you try to grab people’s heads with tongs.

My best idea, though, was to form a tong band. With so many sizes and materials, you can get a lot of sound out of the tongs, I think. And they are easy to use as a rhythm instrument.

The pictures here are me trying out the bass tong and the baritone. They made a cheerful sound! I need to get a couple of other people to help me out and create a composition for tong orchestra.

Another Creative Use

So, at Christmas I gave Lee a lovely silver box with turquoise stones on it, which I found in Utah. He seemed to like it. I had thought he could store some of his nice pens in there, but naturally, he has a set pen storage system that no gift can interfere with.

Meanwhile, Kathleen gave him a series of joke gifts to help him deal with the woman in the next office (her). There was aspirin, a funny calendar, etc. Lee realized that one of her gifts could be beautifully stored in the silver box.

So, whenever Kathleen is a pain in his butt, he can reach into the silver box on his desk and find relief.

We are quite a creative family, huh?

Did you experience any gift creativity at your COVID Christmas celebrations?

Quit Spying on Me, Internet

First, yay, we made it to scenic Jackson, Tennessee, which means we should be able to eat dinner with my stepmom tomorrow, even though we lose TWO hours thanks to Daylight Savings Time.

But, on to a brief rant. I’m sure you’ve experienced the extra creepy feeling you get when something you were just talking about appears in your Facebook or other ads.

I find it less than helpful. Why do I keep getting ads for stuff I just bought? Like I need another one?

Example. Last night my sister gave me a throw with a pattern of birds on it. She said, “It has birds,” and I looked at the picture on the label, then agreed it did have birds on it. It’s a nice blanket.

Less than an hour later, this appeared in my Facebook feed:

It’s the matching comforter set. I did NOT describe the throw or say what it was called or take its picture. I understand Siri listening in to everything I say or browse to, but no one said what the dang throw looked like or its brand. Just birds. There are many throws with birds on them.

I believe Facebook has out-creepied itself. I may become a conspiracy theorist and claim it’s in my retina or something. Then today, when we stopped for lunch:

It was taunting me.

Now friends, I don’t need advice on why I should leave social media or turn off settings x, y, and z. If someone, something, or some corporate entity wanted to gather intel on me, they already have it. I’m just not that fascinating. So spy away. I’m sticking with social media omnipresence.

I just wish they’d suggest more things I want or new places to eat, rather than things I’m familiar with.