friends – Page 3 – The Hermits' Rest

The World! There’s So Much in It!

Wow, there is a lot to see between Sedona, Arizona and Socorro, New Mexico, especially on the less crowded roads. I think I got overloaded by the variety of terrain, weather, and human interest today. I’m smiling big time!

The day started out with one last neighborhood walk in Sedona. The birds and beasts all showed up to say goodbye, except those rude javelina. I even got to see the coyote, but it ran off quickly.

Even the ash-throated flycatcher showed up.

The drive down through Arizona and New Mexico was spectacular, because the scenery would change every few miles depending on elevation or proximity to water. Plus it was cloudy and we got to see rain falling around us. Don’t let people tell you the desert is boring, because I found this high desert drive to be awe-inspiring as we went from nearly bare flats to juniper-studded hills to mountain forests of huge trees.

On the way, we did stop in Winslow, Arizona, mainly for a train. It has enough Route 66 kitsch and Take It Easy references to please any pop culture junky.

We also stopped at the Petrified Forest National Park. There is really a mind boggling amount of petrified wood just laying there, like fallen logs. It’s big business in the area, too. I also found the Painted Desert worth the trip. Its chocolate and vanilla hills are subtle compared to the red rock area, but the formations mesmerized me. If it wasn’t so dang hot we’d have stayed longer.

As we were driving near the pretty town of Magdalena, I saw something that looked like those white “marshmallows” of hay we have at home, but they seemed to be all lined up. Then I said to Lee that they looked like radio telescopes, like some kind of array. Then I got all excited. That’s what it WAS! The Very Large Array! We drove right by it!

I’d read about the VLA and all this things it found for years. I have always enjoyed learning about astronomy, so to see this piece of radio telescope history really was a great experience. Too bad the visitor center was just closed when we drove by.

I did eventually calm down, but wow, it was big.

After we arrived in Socorro, we needed to eat, so I got adventurous and led us to a local bar that was supposed to have good pizza. It was mostly a bar, but really old and funky. Everyone knew each other there.

Soon we also knew someone, because yet another of my old online/real life friends happens to live in Socorro, so she joined us. I’m sure Lee thinks I know someone everywhere, just like my dad did.

My friend Jay shows her excellent photography skills.

Jay, Lee, and I talked until the live band started, then we enjoyed the unexpected pleasant temperature and sat in the town square for more chatting. We were all (not just me) distracted by a small hawk that kept flying around. She seemed to have a mission involving the building next to the bar.

We thought for sure she was a Cooper’s Hawk, but I had a suspicion she was too small. sure enough, both iNat and Merlin identified her as a Sharp-shinned Hawk. They look very similar. Who knows for sure, though? Not me.

Tomorrow I hope to see more birds AND another long-time friend.

A Last Day of Fun

I didn’t blog yesterday, because I was wiped out from all the day’s fun and adventures. Of course, then I couldn’t get to sleep. I’ll be glad to get back home where my Thursday early meeting is only at 7 am, not 5 am. Glad my next trip is only one time zone away!

I’ll miss my morning walks in this neighborhood.

The fun part of the day was that my friend Patty, who I last saw when she visited for the eclipse in April, drove up from the Phoenix area to hang out. I’d really wanted to go back to the fishery area to see if it could find some more birds. So I dragged my poor friend off to good old Page Springs and took her on two walks at different parts of the Important Birding Area, as the signs said.

The first place we went was near the hatchery and included a nice part of the trail along the beautiful creek. It was pleasant but warm.

I did hear a new bird, and even better, I later saw it. The Abert’s Towhee is all brown but has a cute black eye mask. I would have a photo but when I saw it my phone had overheated.

We left that part of the trail to go find where I’d walked earlier. The birds were extra friendly and just sat around looking at us.

Patty developed a blister and wasn’t good with the heat, so she went back to the car to sit in the air conditioning while I went “a little farther.” Sigh.

I got past where I’d been earlier and saw that the trail was turning back. I thought how nice it would be to circle back. It was indeed a beautiful walk past an interesting wetland area with cattails and such.

But it didn’t head right back to the parking lot. Oops. I’m glad I have a good sense of direction and remember landmarks, because I found my way back. I even heard a new gnatcatcher. I felt bad for making Patty sit there for so long, tough.

So I took Patty to eat at the restaurant on Airport Mesa. It was quite scenic and the food was very fun. It’s run by the same people who run Creekside, where we ate earlier. Patty had a salad that was immense. The part she took home was definitely enough for another meal. I had trout with spinach and green chile grits with spinach and a jicama garnish. The best part was the fish skin “chicharrón” on top. I like that way better than pork skin. Mmm.

We also enjoyed prickly pear lemonade, and had an appetizer of, get this, eggplant meatballs. There was no meat. They did have “Swedish cheese” in them. We were glad we tried it, because they were very flavorful. Who knew?

After Patty left we packed up, worked, and took it easy. We enjoyed a cute PBS detective drama about a glamping site with weird murders (of course). I loved the little village where it was filmed. Can I remember the name? No.

Stay tuned to see where we stop as we meander homeward.

What Are Friends For?

What quality do you value most in a friend?

I can forgive a lot of things in my friends. I don’t expect them to be perfect or nice or generous. What I appreciate the most is that my real friends like me the way I am and don’t put me down.

I never want any more “friendships” with conditions on them, where I have to act in ways that don’t feel genuine, or that are based on what I can do for them. I’m fine with that.

And I will remind myself that, with very few exceptions, your coworkers are not your friends. They are people you are cordial with to make getting your work done bearable. (Bear in mind that I married a coworker (twice), became a business partner with a coworker, and still call a former coworker my dearest friend.)

I just need some people in my life I can be myself around without having to walk on eggshells or pretend I’m someone I’m not. And I’m very uninterested in hearing how I should behave, why people don’t like me, or that I’m not woke/unwoke enough. Those folks aren’t in the friend zone anymore.

I don’t need many close friends for a happy life. I have just enough. And interacting with my informal friend groups and like/minded acquaintances can let me have lots of fun—I just have to be more guarded in the larger circle. That’s probably true for most of us.

And I still care deeply for so, so many people I don’t know well or who may not think all that much of me. I just care about folks.

More storms today. Just wind again, though

I am fortunate to have a few very accepting friends, though, and not all of them are dogs and horses! Thanks, friends!

My Favorite Topics

What topics do you like to discuss?

Why, regular readers know this:

Nature
Horses
Dogs
Knitting/crochet
Home renovations/rehab
Personal growth
Spirituality (not religion)

Speaking of dogs, we sprung Carlton out of the Cameron pound 6 years ago! This is where he is as I write.

Today I got all my work items done and had plenty of time for fun. Some even involved human beings! Anita and I enjoyed a pastry break, followed by an afternoon wine break (Cameron: a place where there’s now stuff to do). And in the evening we had a birthday dinner with one of the people who live here. It was fun, because we’re getting pretty relaxed around each other these days.

Highlight: the bakery has a mixer almost as tall as Anita! Is it from Tasmania?

Most of my fun, which is probably only fun to a naturalist, consisted of taking photos of practically everything that lives on the ranch natively. It’s the City Nature Challenge on iNaturalist, and we’re trying to beat some actual city, or something like that.

Most of my photos were not this good. (Gray hairstreak on white clover)

The challenge started off with a surprise, as the guy who refills the propane showed up but did not get to fill our tank. It had a beehive in it. I hope we have encouraged them to move in by removing the tank cover.

I went all over the property finding plants, birds, insects, and fungi to record. I put on thick boots, but didn’t see any snakes or other reptiles. There are still some places to check, but after finding 161 organisms, I may have nearly exhausted this ranch. I still need to locate the silky evolvulus. It was hiding.

I wish I could go walk in Tarrin’s woods and down her road. There are completely different plants only 30 miles away!

I did stop and enjoy the scenery occasionally.

I’m glad the rain held off so all of us in our area could get our observations in. I’ll keep looking until Monday!

Most populous butterfly to day is the little phaon crescent.

Thanks for reading along as I go on about my favorite topic! I have more thoughts, but it’s been a long day. Your reward is a sampling of insects I saw, without the extra blurry ones.

Risky Moves

Describe a risk you took that you do not regret.

One risk I took was buying and moving into property in a rural part of a state full of people who don’t like people like me. I was concerned that we hermits of the Hermits’ Rest would be truly isolated, other than the folks next door.

I’d always lived in small cities or suburbs, not rural properties. I didn’t know if I’d be able to adapt to the challenges of living with no HOA to keep things tidy, no convenient shopping areas with a Walgreens and a Starbucks every few blocks, and plenty of biting and stinging creatures lurking everywhere.

Prickly pears do have thorns, but it’s wonderful when they bloom.

I’m so glad I discovered I’m quite flexible, I can adapt, and there are plenty of people here that enjoy people like me. I treasure the wide variety of friends I’ve made in this small town, rich and poor, conservative and liberal alike. And it’s such a privilege to have family in our little commune. I’d never have known this was possible without taking the risk of joining Lee in his retirement dreams.

And I’d never have learned so much about the natural world around me. That’s a green heron.

Now I’m the one taking care of livestock, understanding where the dangers are as well as the wonders, and learning new skills every day. I’m bemused by visitors in their shorts and flip flops running from every flying insect and prickly plant. Or worse, being afraid of chickens, horses, or dogs. (You can respect them without fearing them.)

Apache feels as if I don’t respect him, by washing him with medication and putting so much on his legs. But that’s stopping flies!

It takes all kinds, of course, and I’m glad there are options. I bet I could even find community and new things to learn in a downtown of a city. Maybe in my 80s…

Speaking of friends, I’ve come to view Ssssally here as a friend. Might as well.

It’s Not a Restaurant, But

What is your favorite restaurant?

I admit that right now I don’t have a favorite restaurant. There are lots I like (even here in Cameron), but no favorite. But I think I have a favorite chef at the moment!

It’s found here, in a Fulshear, Texas suburb.

We met this fine chef on a visit to Lee’s high school friend and his spouse, along with our frequent visitor, Matt. We are all pretty compatible in our philosophical leanings, so the conversation was good. It was so good that I forgot to take any photos except plants in the wild area behind the house.

Hummingbirds and butterflies loved this rough leafed dogwood.

Anyway, we are extremely well on this visit. I’m pretty sure that if I could hire a personal chef, P. would be it. Everything was healthy but delicious, exactly what I’d make for myself if I had the time and patience! Examples:

Homemade Gorgonzola salad dressing. It was so thick and savory, not as intense as blue cheese.
Salmon en croute. The best way to cook salmon. Topped with a papaya salsa. Whoa. That was good.
Then there were extremely cute little purple potatoes, the purplest I ever saw.
I forgot homemade pumpkin rolls that were only subtly pumpkin. I never had anything like it.
Pumpkins showed up for pie in dessert, too.

What a meal! And she made it look easy. But wait, there’s more! In the morning we had this Amish oatmeal bake with fruit, nuts, and eggs in it. It may sound weird, but it was fantastic. I was ready to go raise a barn after that.

Who needs a restaurant when you can visit a gourmet cook? I wish I were that talented with food. But we got to enjoy it!

Visiting Suburbia

The drive to where we visited was very pretty, since we passed many beautiful cattle and horse ranches, but after we checked into our hotel (Lee needs a couch to sleep on and it’s weird to request that of hosts, like you reject their lovely bed), the GPS routed us through suburb after suburb. These were new, nice suburbs.

Now, I lived in Suburb World while my sons were growing up. I was used to the fancy entrances, the ponds with fountains, the elaborate playgrounds and pools, and all that, though we lived in a less fancy suburb.

I felt kind of like Granny Clampett arriving in Beverley Hills after living her life in the Ozarks. Jed! It must take a passel of sheep to get that grass so short! But where are their pens?

Yeah, I obviously have been out in the country/small rural towns for so long I’ve forgotten all that HOA perfection. To me, getting the fence lines weed-eated is dang fancy now. All those perfect lawns, those non-native plants, and those giant houses on tiny lots look strange to me now.

I truly enjoyed the trip down memory lane, though. But I’m now more comfortable in towns with a magnificent old home next to a 50s ranch, with a house with no lawn and no recent maintenance next to that. And of course, non-functional vehicles randomly strewn around.

And out in the country, various pieces of equipment in various stages of utility lurk behind various outbuildings in various stages of construction. Often there are more travel trailers than homes. That describes the Hermits’ Rest, and it’s fine with me!

I honestly think our roadside plants are also pretty.

I’m glad there are places for all types of folks! It was fun visiting the Houston environs, and who knows. We may return. The food and hospitality are good!

Wandering with Visitors

It’s always fun to show off where you live to visitors, and there’s so much to show off these days! So today I took my intrepid visiting friends on a walking/driving tour of our small town. I also got to visit some places I wanted to go!

After a peaceful morning, we headed to the bakery for what I guess was brunch. We sat up in the mezzanine to watch the “action” around the square, of which there was none. But that’s okay.

Next we headed to the antique shop where I got to chat with the folks there while Patty found a celluloid thimble to buy. In ZX I got some wine and David got an eclipse shirt, while Patty found a really cute top. They enjoyed all the art and memorabilia We peeked in the windows of the Venue to see the work our family members helped with.

I got Sherrie Jo and Patty to pose in front of the restored signage.

We wandered to the old jail, which really is an impressive building. I forget how cool it is!

Both the architecture and the grounds are quite beautiful. It’s very well kept.

Of course we visited the Chamber of Commerce, where everyone was friendly. At this point I’m sure the visitors must have thought I knew everyone in town, which was further confirmed when we went in the Bling Box. I got my yearly pair of Corky’s flip flops.

Finally we hit the museums. I hadn’t seen the railroad museum since it moved. They did such a great job on rebuilding the train layouts. The ceiling is a sky, too. I need to go back and read more about the local railroads.

Cameron and its environs. Volunteers have done amazing work.

Finally we went into the local history museum, which is a lot more fun now. We identified a strange object that looked like a bulldog holding a tuning fork as an old curling iron, and next figured out what the item pictured below is.

It was warming up, so we took a drive around town to see the sights. I got to see Anita’s house with its new paint job. It looks sharp! I’ll have to get a photo. We got food for dinner and headed home.

There I did enjoy the finished roof on the tack room. It looks quite snazzy now. I also have Apache pain meds and his normal meds. He was walking, but not yet normally. So it’s Plan B for the show tomorrow.

We had hot tub time, a fun dinner and lots of conversation through the afternoon and evening. Lee showed Patty lots about bookbinding, while all us women crafted (Sherrie Jo was embroidering pillow cases, Patty was crocheting a rug, and I finished another row on the 2024 temperature blanket.

After dinner we fired up the fire pit, which was quite beautiful. So was the sunset.

The only things that marred the evening were a big ole dog fight (in which Carlton and Harvey both got owies) and Apache breaking out of the dry lot into the small paddock. There he proceeded to call to the other horses and race back and forth along the fence line. Hmm. Racing. I guess the pain meds kicked in. He’s staying home tomorrow anyway.

I sure enjoyed having guests and hope they make it to their eclipse destinations safely. Who’s next to visit?

Sometimes You Just Need a Listener

Today I needed to get some things off my chest so I could move on past them and get back to my “normal” fairly balanced frame of mind. I’m very lucky that I was able to have a couple of Zoom chats and a couple of Messenger chats that set me back on an even keel.

I just needed to talk things through in a safe, nonjudgmental space. We all need friends to listen to us when we need to vent, even when we’re a little off base or even a little wrong. The listeners let you hear yourself, ask helpful questions for you to ponder, and allow you to gain a better perspective on whatever is bugging you.

By this evening, after a nice ride on a mostly calm horse (mentally thanking my supportive equestrian friends), cooking a tasty dinner for the menfolk, and zoning out knitting, I feel refreshed and able to cope with whatever challenges come my way. Woo hoo!

Most of them probably won’t see this, but I’d like to thank these friends for lifting me up between the weekend and today:

Alice
Barbara
Nancy S
Barbara
Connie
Kathie
Lynn
Phyllis
Anita
Martha
Jay
Pamela
Avery, Sara, and Tracee (for horse support)

I even got to be a bit of a listener for Pamela and Martha, too. One of the best things about good friends is that they can take turns being the helper and the helped. My high school friend group also does that for each other. It’s a good feeling all around.

When Goldie was sad, Lee cheered her up.

If someone has helped you get through a rough spot, be sure to thank them, too!

And if you get vexed, just look at some vetch and breathe. I did.

Why Yes, You Can Have a Good Time at a Funeral

First, I just can’t answer the boring Bloganuary question today, so I’ll just have to give up on that challenge. I will, of course, blog every day this month, as usual.

Or I can just put up photos of my nails every day. That would drive the readers away!

Now that it’s dealt with, I can talk about why I’m in scenic Little Rock, Arkansas. My friend, Barbara (yes, the Barbara of the comments section), lost her husband recently. We have been friends for a long time, and she was one of the best listeners ever when I was having issues with my work in La Leche League. We’ve been email friends since around 1995, so there have been a lot of memories, stories, confidences, and kindnesses between the two of us. I felt that it was important that someone come to her husband’s service just to be there for her, and her alone (and to represent our group of close friends from our years as LLL administrators).

I hadn’t seen Barbara in a very long time. It sure was good to be there today. What a hard day in anyone’s life.

So, this morning I put on some somber clothes and headed to downtown Little Rock for Gene’s service. The church is very cool. I’ve been hearing about it for years, so I was uncharacteristically (for me) excited to actually see it. What a cool old building it is, and how welcoming they’ve made it for everyone. No wonder Gene, not a religious person, was fine being memorialized here.

I enjoyed talking to people at the pre-service reception and finding out more about Barbara’s kids (not much younger than me, so not really kids) and grandkids, and hearing good stories. I got to chat about knitting, listen to conversations about Gene’s work with the Humane Society here, and lots more. And on an interesting side note, people here still wear black to funerals, unlike in Texas where they wear anything that’s not jeans and a t-shirt.

So many activists were there. I’d be pretty comfortable here if I were more Christian.

The service itself was very simple and well planned. Barbara and her family did a great job on it. There were really cool hymns, after some improvisational music before the service by a talented pianist. But the very best part was the “Stories” section, in which people from all areas of Gene’s life spoke (he was a law professor, fiction writer, dog lover, veteran…etc.). Everyone was so good at speaking, especially Barbara’s sons, who she has to be very proud of. It’s so nice to hear people who know how to work a room give a heartfelt talk. Ah, smart people. Former colleagues, former students, fellow writers…dog people, all talked. It reminded me of my dad’s service, where you could get to know the person by just listening to the stories. I honestly think everyone felt like they got a hug and new memories to cherish in Gene’s absence.

My favorite part was when I really wanted to clap after one son’s story, and I was really glad when people did so. How often does THAT happen? I just smiled through the whole event and thought how lucky Barbara is to have such a warm community around her.

There was a cool set of woven pieces that represented the four seasons

Afterwards, I was invited to lunch with the family and close friends, which led to much lively discussion. But by the time that was over, my introversion kicked in and I went to a park. I didn’t get to see birds or many plants, but it was still nice to get out in nature, though of course it was STILL raining. Whoa am I ready for some sunshine.

The sun did finally come out a little around sunset, and I got to enjoy some fast-moving and interesting clouds out the hotel window.

I’m glad I came to support Barbara and hug her for all the rest of our friends. It’s worth doing if you possibly can. I know it meant a LOT to me when my friend Vicki came for my dad’s funeral, just for me. Since then, I’ve tried to repay that kindness by being there for others.

Think of me driving 6.5 hours tomorrow. I hope it’s more clear (and that it is clearer at home so I can groom the horses).

My Leisure Time Surprise

What do you enjoy doing most in your leisure time?

This answer will be pretty boring if I give the same answers I’ve given to three or four other blog prompts. Yes, indeed, I enjoy knitting and looking at birds and horses. Most of you know that if you’ve visited this blog before.

But, is there another leisure activity I enjoy? In warm weather I hang out by the pool. That counts. And I read about horses, architecture, and home decorating. The latter helps me deal with what a jumbled mess my own house is right now.

What I’ll read when I’m finished writing this

I think my favorite leisure activity is socializing these days. After staying away from people for so long, I am enjoying seeing friends again. I want to do more of it, but I forgot a couple things this week. Lunches, coffees, meetings, etc., are so nice for breaking up the work day!

Today my friend came over and I did her nails for a party. They look good!

Keeping in touch with friends online is another favorite. Yes, I admit I visit Facebook and valiantly scroll and scroll until I find posts from friends. It’s so great to stay in touch, get advice, and learn that way. Most importantly, I can provide support to others by being available online to listen. I do a lot of that lately.

Yeah, not too exciting, is it? But damn, this is what I’ve looked forward to my whole life: a time to enjoy the little things and the people I care about. I hope it lasts a while.

Now for stories. I went out to feed the horses and saw Drew standing by the fence, staring intently. What? I went on up to get the feed dishes, and something caught my eye behind me. It looked like this:

The horses weren’t at all happy to see Fiona wandering around eating fresh clover. I just wondered how she got there.

How come SHE doesn’t have to stand in the mud?

When I took their food to them I saw that the lower wire on the temporary electric fence had come loose. The big horses were still held in the pasture, but Fiona could walk right under the live wire. Clever donkey.

The wire is fixed now.

Speaking of wires, little Carlton got the staples out where he had a lump removed. Lee found out the biopsy results, too. The lump was a completely encapsulated stick, probably a cactus thorn. It had gotten infected, so he has antibiotics, but should be fine.

However, Goldie managed to nearly rip out a toenail today. It must have hurt a little!

And I do have daily birds today. The rain finally let up, which pleased the birds a lot. We even had two birds returning from their winter hangouts! I heard and saw a purple Martin, and I heard a whistling duck. Cameron residents better get ready for lots of trees full of chattering ducks. Love those guys.