Waiting and Watching

Another long day of waiting. You know I’m trying to distract myself when I bury myself in AI training, which I did.

Suna, post training. Just kidding. AI is the BEST! Just ask corporate training!

I did get some nice pictures with Goldie today to remember her four/-legged era. We had a very nice morning sitting outside and enjoying the birds and breeze.

Lee took pictures of her on “her” couch, which used to be mine and used to be clean. And the blanket used to be nice. Yes, I was in hippie mode today.

Lee took her to the vet this afternoon. She was so good. I keep saying that, but it’s true. She was sweet to everyone at the veterinarian office and tried to comfort them as they recited everything that could go wrong. Poor Lee. Wish I could have gone with him.

Taking a flower break.

The watching part of today was a nice balance to sadness over terminal illness. I was looking at a Green Heron through my binoculars this morning and realized the cow above the bird had an amniotic sac hanging out of her.

You can sorta see it. The white thing is her bag of milk, ready to feed. The white cow was keeping Caracaras away.

I called to Lee, and he was able to watch “the miracle of birth” with me. It made us both feel better to see new life. I was a little nervous because Mama kept swinging the calf around when it was mostly out, and it was close to the drop-off to the pond.

Once the calf was on the ground, much licking ensued. Mama did a great job! It took the calf a few tries to stand up, but it eventually got up to slurp down that delicious colostrum. Mom licked it a lot more. The owners came by to check, because Lee told him it was born sorta close to the edge.

This all took like 20 minutes. That’s a successful birth with no issues … but the calf did end up down the slope but not in the water, thanks to the dry weather. Luckily the other owner showed up to pick it up. It was so cute just wagging its little tail.

That slice of ranch life helped us a lot and put things in perspective. The Circle of Life is the other trite saying that comes to mind, but it’s true. We all have our time to come and go. It’s just hard to be a witness at the end when it’s someone you love.

Think of Goldie tomorrow, if you can. We just want her pain lessened.

Getting Ready for Goldie

Stressful day! Not only did I have to get up early to meet with my new boss, but I also spent all day waiting for a call from Goldie’s surgeon. That made for a long day, because I didn’t hear from her until 6 pm.

Penney seemed to also be worried.

I distracted myself by talking to my online friend group, helping people (best part of my job), and doing some training the new boss pointed me to, but I admit I got a bit antsy. Looking at plants and birds took the edge off a bit, and certainly seeing a flock of White-faced Ibis flying over helped. I happened to have my binoculars with me, so I got a good view.

They were flying north. Hmm.

By afternoon both Lee and I were not worth much, so I called around 4:30. The staff person was so nice, and reassured me I was on the list, but the doctor was dealing with a sad client. I said that was way more important than calling us! I want a kind and empathetic surgeon!

I felt sad for the person who lost their dog friend.

While waiting, Lee finished his book (the one o read that retells the Mulan story) and I started the latest Elizabeth Strout novel, so I could be distracted by Olive Kitteridge and the other folks on Crosby, Maine. That was smart.

I was feeding the horses by the time the surgeon called, but I’d brought my notebook so I was ready. I feel like we have a good and realistic plan to give Goldie some additional time. I don’t think we can do chemo, but if the guys want it, I’m okay. It’s just a lot of travel in the car, which is hard on her.

I did learn from the surgeon about a harness that’s good for helping support newly tripod dogs out and got one ordered in time to have when we pick Goldie up. I’m glad she’s crate trained, because that will help keep her away from licking dogs. No licking the wound for two weeks!

Ruffwear Flagline Harness

Anyway you don’t need to know everything the woman said to me. I’m just processing. Mainly I want Goldie to make it back home safely. I’m getting weary of bad news.

Think about birds, Suna. Happy, fluffy birds.

Back to the novel. They come in handy in stressful times.

Animals: Always a Challenge

Lots of animal news today. They keep me on my toes!

It’s our job.

Goldie

Lee and I were up early to get Goldie to the specialty veterinarian by 9. She was so damned good. It’s just a shame she had to have her life shortened by bone cancer.

I go wherever you tell me.

However, the staff at the vet were great and quite encouraging. They see a lot more of this stuff than we do. The oncologist explained the options to us and stressed that since Goldie is basically healthy other than the tumor, is young, and is at a good weight, she is an excellent candidate for amputation. Another good factor is that she is already mostly walking on three legs.

Here Goldie is enthralled by the oncologist discussing her treatment plan.

Our hopes are that this procedure ($$$) will buy her many months of pain-free life. She can’t get worked on until Wednesday, so in the meantime we have good pain medicine that will also keep her calmer and less likely to try to run.

Just don’t make me step on that scale.

She is worth it to us. We might decide differently with a different dog in different circumstances.

She already leans more on her right side.

Apache

So, later today, I braved the heat to go work with the horses. I fed them and all seemed well until I realized Apache hadn’t come over to eat. I went up to him and saw he was covered in sweat and breathing really hard. If he were a dog, he’d have been panting. I got worried that he had colic or was overheated.

I’m hot.

So I brought him over to the tack room and hosed him off. As soon as I started hosing, he started chowing down on the long grass the lawn mower misses. When I called Tarrin to make sure I was doing the right thing, she said he wouldn’t be eating like crazy if he were colicking. I dread having a horse colic (intestinal issues).

Mmm. Long grass.

At least I dodged another pet sickness. I hosed him down a second time after he ate for a while, and he happily walked off to graze.

Move over! I’m eating!
I feel better.

The Chickens

Finally, good news. Since I got Cindy and Cathy Cochin they’ve been sort of huddling together looking scared. They had not figured out that they could go into the coop. I soon noticed they weren’t alone, though. Bianca was spending a lot of time hanging out on the other side of the pen from them.

That was perfect! This let them get to know each other without any chicken fights. Now I just had to get Bianca in the chicken run with the Cochins. And I did!

Eek! There’s another hen in here!

Today I fed the hens late, since I was out with Goldie all morning. I noticed that Bianca was in the jungle half of the run, where it’s shady. She realized I’d filled the water trough for the other hens and ran out to stand next to the door. She wanted some. I seized the moment while the black hens were keeping as far from me as possible and opened the door. It only took a little chicken wrangling to get Bianca to go in there and start pecking away at the food. Soon they were all eating together. Yay.

Let’s be friends.

My hope is that Bianca will show Cathy and Cindy how to get into the roosting area. They will be happier sleeping there and laying eggs in the boxes.

So, I’m at least doing okay with some animals!

Got through the Day

That’s about all I can say. I did many things to distract me from how sad Goldie is looking. I just want to get her to the oncologist tomorrow to see if there’s any hope for giving her a pain free life.

I tried to keep busy like this gal and all the hummingbirds.

Thank goodness for goofy comedies. I watched the first episode of High Potential and then three episodes of Elsbeth. They were similar premises but both very funny. It helped. TV is good for something, sometimes.

Dogs and Hearts

It’s just so hard to think about my two sick dogs. You know when you get one that you’ll probably outlive them, but it’s not easy to watch them suffer. Our animal companions really fill our hearts.

So mine is hurting for Harvey, like I said yesterday. He’s a little worse each day. I don’t even know what to do.

Goldie is also doing worse, so we went and got X-rays for her in College Station. She was very good in the car, but I think getting in and out wasn’t good for her leg. She’s limping way more. But we had to get her there somehow.

She was all comfy. I’m sorry for not having a giant dog seatbelt. We don’t drive our dogs anywhere normally.

The veterinarian and staff were very nice, too. They were kind to Goldie when getting her X-rays and gave me lots of scary reading material on osteosarcoma in giant dogs. It makes me wonder why anyone breeds giant dogs, knowing how often this happens. Well, we didn’t breed her.

Being brave

The good news is the tumor isn’t all in the bone, just around it. And her lungs weren’t full of upset lymph nodes. Maybe we can help her?

Strangely named facility. But they had X-rays.

So we have yet another expensive trip to an even more distant specialty practice on Friday. Not we, just me, because Lee will not get up early to go to a 9 am appointment. Wow, it’s a good thing he works for himself. Sometimes you have to do things on someone else’s schedule.

Goldie appreciates my sacrifice, or would if she had any clue what that was.

I’m just upset so forgive my grumpy talk. This final visit will help me come up with a plan, as I should be able to talk to both an oncologist and surgeon. I hope I make good decisions that the rest of the family will be comfortable with.

Look, something pretty!

I did find a couple of things to enjoy outdoors, watched lots of birds, and laughed at some episodes of Only Murders in the Building. I’m so glad we have streaming now, though I’m perturbed that no one has come to fix our satellite dish.

Mabel and Apache say they are more entertaining than television.

Least of my worries. Tomorrow there’s a mysterious new boss meeting, too. I guess we will know what team we will get stuck under in the reorganization aftermath. Or…

Savor the Highlights

I admit it. I’m spending some time feeling sad about how my dogs are feeling. Goldie is limping more, and Harvey has gone downhill since he couldn’t get downstairs yesterday. He seems confused about why his legs aren’t acting correctly right now. We are, too.

What the heck?

We still don’t know if the lump on his leg, a back injury, a stroke, or his liver issues that are causing his problems, but we are medicating him as hard as we can.

He chooses not to chase cows.

Goldie’s lump is bothering her more, so her meds haven’t done much. Tomorrow we are taking her to a facility in College Station to get X-rays and scans to see what they find. I hope that will help us figure out how to proceed. I’m thankful Tarrin is advising us, since she knows many veterinarians, and is dealing with her own dog challenges.

Getting rest before her big day.

It was darn good to have some positive work things to balance this out with. I solved a thorny problem in a project that made me feel smart. Then a package arrived that contained my gift from my employer for being a good contractor last quarter. They wrapped it all fancy and festively, and I appreciated it. Being acknowledged for hard work is rare in contract work, so I’m not all cynical like I might be if it was more common. This was a real highlight.

Other than that, I just did my best to enjoy my animal buddies and breathe. They always make my daily highlight reel.

Morning horses and Fiona. Apache is filthy from rolling in mud.

You can’t help but smile when you have hummingbirds and calves to look at and every flycatcher in the area to listen to. Hooray for fewer flies!

Having a balance in life can help you get through challenges. I know so many of you readers are also facing challenges. This time of year seems to bring illnesses, loss of loved ones (humans and animals), and financial woes. Noticing beauty, kindness, and generosity can go a long way toward negotiating change and challenge and bring highlights to a low time.

Calm Vibes All Around

This I know: if I send calm thoughts out, breathe deeply, and center myself, life’s a lot easier. It’s certainly made life with the animals better. All that nature walking really has helped!

Morning beauty

Today I spent a lot of time with the horses. We tend to end up in a feedback loop of good vibes these days. Watching them interacting gently calms me down and me being calm makes them easy to work with. I’m very glad the period of stress and pain for us all is becoming a dim memory.

Just being friends.

I enjoy watching them showing signs of affection. It’s mostly Drew, Mabel, and Dusty, though.

This is so sweet.

Apache seems to take his leadership role very seriously. At least he’s friendly with me. My daily hugs and exercise are good for us both. We’ve worked hard to get in synch and I can tell he’s in better spirits now.

I’m in charge of this crew.

I’ve tried giving him his medicine in gel caps. It takes away the smell, but then he goes and chomps on the capsule and tastes the pill. We will figure something out. Maybe I should stick them in bananas.

One happy family…err, herd.

I finally got to where I could make myself clean out the chicken coop and run. The chicken killings were hard on me. But today I murdered all the cocklebur and birdseed plants that had grown up in the main section. That was a very unpleasant task, especially since it’s gotten hot again suddenly.

I also cleaned the evidence of poultry genocide in the coop building. I wore a mask, so I didn’t get sick like last time, and I used my horse poop shovel to clean the floor. It was really tricky maneuvering the bulky shovel but I managed.

Not perfect, but better than it was.

There is a chance new chickens will magically appear tomorrow. I will insist on keeping them penned up. I’m not sure if Bianca will join them now that she thinks she’s a horse. Even she has calm vibes now, and she used to be a jumpy hen.

I love horse food, especially Dusty’s pellets.
Bianca just hangs out with her buds.

No dog news. They all seem stable. That’s better than it could be, so we will keep enjoying them.

I’m doing my best!

Let’s Talk about Support

If anyone reading this isn’t struggling in some way, I’m glad for you, but a bit surprised. These seem to be hard times for most folks I know. And it doesn’t look like things are getting any easier. I vote that we all do the right thing and support each other. Let’s cut each other some slack. Some of us could really use kindness and empathy right now.

Share what’s good in the world. This is a Phoebe.

We got more sad dog news today and are trying to figure out what to do about Goldie’s bone cancer. I needed support and to just talk about it. Thank goodness I have a friend who I can talk to, who’s going through similar canine concerns.

Hint. She trains horses.

The horse trailer is back, and I was glad to go to lessons again. Yes, I wanted to learn horse stuff, but I also wanted to talk to Tarrin and engage in mutual support about our dogs and other family issues. Talking really helped me think things through, and I hope I was a good listener for her. And of course I loved on her sick dog.

I also loved on Christmas. He’s love-a-bull.

The lessons were good, too. Apache amazes me. He is doing so well and keeps making progress even with time off. He improved on the dreaded side pass (hooray) and was very patient when I worked on posting at the trot. He’s become a real treasure. We have both calmed down so we can learn.

I’m good.

Drew is doing much better with me, too, though he had some challenges today. That lovely filly of Tarrin’s gets him all rattled. At least this time, Tarrin was on him. But he settled down after ground work and was fine afterwards. He just has to grow out of losing focus on his human leaders. it ain’t easy.

He needs to breathe deeply, just like I do.

The horse lessons are so helpful to me, as is the support I get from Tarrin. We have so much in common yet challenge each other. That is what we need right now, to see past our superficial differences to our common humanity.

We know we love our dogs!

Find yourself someone to support or to be supportive to. It’s a great counterweight to the struggles and challenges we are going through as humans.

Still Here!

I didn’t blog yesterday because I had no deep thoughts, but I’m still here and taking care of all the animals and myself.

Thanks for the food, Suna

I haven’t been able to do much with the horses, because my saddles are in south Texas. I loaned my trailer out for a weekend while I was in Colorado, but it’s still there thanks to the Covid. We probably should have road tripped this weekend to fetch it, but there’s a chance it might be back before my next lesson. You really can’t predict who’s gonna get sick at any time in our family, so you just roll with the changes.

That’s me. No need to stress!

Instead of road tripping, we sat in the porch all morning, watched some college football until the streaming got wonky (our satellite went out when I was gone and should get fixed Monday), and had dinner with our friend Martha.

Not what I ate, but I’m impressed with how neatly Apache eats. He had a pie slice shape left when I went to open his gate. On the other hand, Mabel immediately overturns her dish and eats off the ground.

We’re hoping the new restaurant lasts a while. They tend not to in the old 50s Cafe building. I had liver and onions, and there was enough left to feed Goldie her medicine in for a couple of days. Win!

The dogs are no worse so far. They both seem cheerful enough, though Goldie was off her feed for a while. Fingers are crossed.

He does have a big belly.

Coping is what we need to practice now, and we are doing that around here. I need to go out and enjoy the morning now. It looks like the gale winds of yesterday have died down. Enjoy your Sunday.

Enjoy my new nails. They are more red with pink highlights in person.

Self-care-a-rama

Worrying about my sick dogs won’t help, so after getting them both to eat their medicine (Harvey eats anything and Goldie finally ate hers with chicken breast), I figured I’d better work on my own well being.

Trees. Trees are self care.

Work was a good distraction, especially if you enjoy rolling reorganizations. But I really leaned into (ooh, I finally used “lean in” on purpose) making a comfortable environment for myself. I haven’t been able to swim due to being on antibiotics and wanting to stay out of the sun, but I worked on making the pool area better by getting rid of two volunteer trees and more annoying nutsedge and spotted spurge. It was too windy to use herbicide, and besides, it doesn’t work on sedges.

Only I can tell it looks better.

The biggest improvement I made was to set up my outdoor workstation where I can keep my laptop and phone charged. My household member got us a bartered table with two chairs that’s perfect for my needs. The chairs are comfy and easy to clean.

Mr Droopy Face helped

Lee helped me get it perfectly in the middle of the back porch, where it’s always shady and there’s usually a pleasant breeze. It will get more sun in winter, I hope. At least I’ll be able to use it in three seasons.

Watching horses, birds, and cattle are really soothing for me and keep me centered. I’ll need that for the foreseeable future.

Self care also means looking around and enjoying life around me. That was helped by discovering this beautiful new (to me) butterfly, the Common Mestra (Mestra amymone). It’s pretty on both sides. I got to watch it feeding on frog fruit for quite some time. I just found out from my friend Linda Jo that this butterfly hasn’t been recorded on iNaturalist since 2016!

There were also the usual flowers, fungi, and insects. I’m so glad there’s always something new.

One kind of self care I engaged in was getting the heck out of a potentially dangerous situation. I went to pick up a package from by the front gate, and heard a droning noise. Oh my gosh, it was another swarm of bees, only these weren’t all massed together. They were everywhere. I couldn’t tell what kind of bees they were nor if they were angry. I left after taking this picture. Zoom in and you’ll see all the insects!

Maybe Lee disturbed them when he mowed the roadside.

I also tried to take a nice walk in the woods to see the pond on the other side of the fence, but tiny and zippy mosquitoes chased me off. I understand why the cow that was glaring at me went swimming.

Between all the outdoor pampering and some great conversations with friends, I’m not too bad. At least the Covid symptoms are about gone.

Take it easy, guys.