Apache – Page 14 – The Hermits' Rest

The Best Advice (and horse stories)

What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?

Gee, y’all, I’ve received a lot of good advice. I’ve been lucky to surround myself with wise women (and some treasured wise men), so good advice has flowed my way. Plus I read Brené Brown, so I’ve read a lot of good advice too.

But I’m supposed to share the best advice I ever received. I’ll share the on that came to my mind first.

Don’t let other people be your mirror.

My therapist, Victoria, used to say that when I would get all upset and believe what some of the more negative people in my life said about me. I’d keep seeing myself like my ex looked at me, people at jobs, etc. This advice helped me learn to value my own assessment of myself. I think back to it whenever I dive deep into self pity or negative self talk.

Maybe it will help you.

Horse Stories

I’ve been trying to not write about my horses, but sometimes I just want to share. And it IS my blog!

First. Today I was taking a walk to the mailbox (it’s my reward for editing three job aids). I looked over and saw good old Dusty grazing peacefully between me and the pond. I vaguely recognized the other horses were on the other side of the pond, next to the road.

Suddenly there came a thundering sound and, followed by splashing and branches snapping. Drew appeared from under the willow trees, running at full speed. He had run along the muddy shore of the pond and emerges with nostrils flaring and tail tossing. He galloped straight to poor Dusty, chomped him on the shoulder, them proceeded to buck, kick, and fling himself around like he was electrified.

Once he stopped, he nipped Dusty again then zoomed back to the other side of the pond, poked the other two horses, fell to his knees and rolled.

I wonder what was going on?

Second. Apache has been feeling better, and did fine on two fairly short rides since our last lesson. But today he was not happy when I tried to do a bit more work now that the weather broke slightly. He did the absolutely frightening thing where he shakes his head violently to get the reins out of my hands, puts his head down, kicks, and takes off. I am very proud that I have not fallen off.

Actually, I’m getting way better at getting the reins back, trying to relax, and getting him to stop, some of the time. Otherwise he heads toward the tack room like his life depends on it.

I figured it would not be a good idea to give him the idea that the ride will be over if he does this, so I let him sit and rest a while at the tack room, then got him to walk fairly calmly to the round pen where his halter was. He thinks that is also a place to stop, so he went along with it.

But I am proud of myself that I got him to make some figure eights, and sidepass (fairly well). When I got off, I decided to let him know the work doesn’t always end when his halter is back on. We went on a nice walk around the area, dearth with a scary dumpster very well, then had some nice together time where I let him graze on some long grass that’s way better for him than the new grass in his pasture.

I hope I did well, He was sure calmer by the time I took off his saddle. I just sometimes think I’m not cut out for this horse stuff. I’m STILL not a very good horse leader, apparently.

PS: Drew has been just fine. I love his trot.

Yes, There Are Athletes I Admire

Name the professional athletes you respect the most and why.

Many of my friends aren’t fond of professional sports or the players. Trust me, I won’t argue that there are plenty of negative aspects, like head injuries, young people being taken advantage of, ridiculous ticket prices, gambling, drugs…etc.

But I can’t help being impressed with what some very wise athletes have done with their fame (in addition to making funny commercials and getting oh so wealthy (I see you Mannings and Mahomes). So, here are a few I admire.

Billy Jean King. It’s hard not to admire her. She took her platform as a tennis player and has not stopped using it to promote women’s rights and health. She’s still doing good work, with her weirdly brown hair for someone age 79.

Dak Prescott. Not only is he my favorite player on my favorite football team (Dallas Cowboys, for anti-US sports readers), but he won the Walter Payton NFL Man of the Year for his extensive charity work. He has a good sense of humor, but seems very intelligent and willing to share his ridiculous income with others. He doesn’t seem busy only buying bling, dressing weird, and putting shiny stuff on his teeth (OK, I’ve seen his outfits; he does wear some unusual fashion). But heck, he’s exactly one month younger that my son, so he’s still a kid.

Kareem Abdul Jabbar. I’ve always admired him as a human being, even when I was very young. Yes, he was one of the greatest basketball players ever, but he’s also a brilliant thinker on history, race relations, religion, and more. He is a great speaker and writer, too.

So that’s the answer to the prompt. For those of you who don’t know me personally, I thought I’d share my rough afternoon. Here’s my Facebook post:

I get so tired of being weak and wimpy.
I’m very grateful for my kind horse.

I overheated riding today because I’d convinced myself it was “cooler” outside. I didn’t realize it, but I guess Apache did, because in the middle of our exercises he broke free and zoomed to the tack room and stopped. I was thinking, ooh, he’s not listening, so I need to get him to pay attention before I get off, so I tried to walk a few steps then stop. After the second time, he zipped to the round pen, where his halter was, walked a circle for me and stopped.

As we stopped I realized I was shaking all over and dizzy. When I dismounted I was nauseated. Apache walked slowly with me to the shade and just stood by me as I sat down to call Lee to come get me.

We both got hosed off, which helped. Now, maybe Apache had his own reasons for acting weird, but I appreciate that he got me to get off sooner than I’d planned. I wish the promised cooler (previously there was a “coojer” typo that was pretty funny) weather would show up! I’m hardly able to get anything done with the horses other than feeding and ground work.

The Weather Gods Smiled

Today was my first horse lesson since July. I was not sad to miss trying to learn while getting heatstroke. What a relief it was to have a break in the weather —two days with highs less than 100. Plus there were lovely clouds (Tarrin says it’s my job to bring them) and a nice breeze.

There was NO breeze at sunrise, so I sweated during horse and hay work.

I could concentrate on learning and so could the horses. Apache showed how hard he studied since I got back from Myrtle Beach and did his skills pretty well. I’m just so proud of him.

Drew has some work to do to get back his leg strength and re-learn to focus, but it shouldn’t take long. He’s still just the sweetest little boundary pusher.

I’m really not interested in sunset photography, Mom.

A bonus of getting home at sunset was seeing the beautiful full moon rise. It’s also a blue moon and I think a super moon? Anyway, I enjoyed watching it rise as the sky turned beautiful colors in every direction.

I couldn’t decide what parts of the sky were prettier. Judging from the impatient nickers I heard, the horses and Fiona weren’t as enthralled as I was. They did get their food!

It was a good day all around for me. I even got to have a work meeting with a Facebook friend, which was fun. We were tickled pink. I’m glad for these bright spots. The more glimmers the better!

Letting Go…Probably Good

In this autumn season of my life,* I’m finding it necessary to let go of many things, from long-held beliefs to long-admired people. No doubt you, too, have found this to be a struggle. Sometimes you just have to let go of the metaphorical rope and see where you end up.

I have been there, and have the T-shirt.

This can work literally, as well. Today when we got back to the ranch, the weather was a little better than when we left town. I felt empowered to ride Apache in the afternoon rather than my usual morning rides on days when it’s over 105°.

I even groomed him completely rather than a quick removal of saddle-area dirt. That’s good, because all the horses appear to have rolled in the dirt after our .004” of rain yesterday. He was orange. Then I saddled up and headed out for a wee ride. I didn’t plan to trot much, since our ground is so hard.

They are resting up, I guess, having escaped after we left. Drew is STILL rolling.

After warming up (our muscles—at 95° we were already warm) I swung into the saddle, only to realize I’d forgotten his bridle. Fine. I “let go of the reins” and we rode around doing circles, figure eights, side passes (sorta), and backing in the round pen. Then we went outside and walked around the pen in both directions, finally heading back to the tack room, where the bridle was waiting.

I ended the ride on the high note of riding with no reins. We were both pleased with ourselves, I think.

Let’s pause to enjoy May-July on the temperature blanket.

If only letting go in other areas could be as easy…wait, that wasn’t easy! We’ve worked years to get here and needed lots of help. Aha! That applies to all areas of life!

And just like how I didn’t know how well the ride would go until I tried, I’m going to have to keep trying to let go of the reins and let go of patterns and people who are holding me back from the peaceful and productive life I want to enjoy from now on.

I hope my roots are as sturdy as this oak’s

I’ll keep practicing and rely on wise mentors as I get better at surrounding myself with strength and love while letting go of anything that makes me anxious, sad, or powerless.

* In my optimistic view, spring is birth to 30 years, summer 31-60, autumn 61-90, and winter begins at 90. Why not?

Back at the Ranch: Amazing Animals

I made it home yesterday, but for some reason the travel completely wore me out. I guess travel is stressful, since my right eye wept all day, while the left eye had a tic. The plane travel was fine, other than the fact that the Charlotte airport was dirtier and dingier than I remembered. Of course, the flight from there to Austin was delayed, so I got to stay there and look at food on the floor and seats quite a while. By the time we boarded, I thought I’d fall asleep standing up.

None of this was heavy except the backpack, which was a carryon. It tried to kill me.

Lee was late exactly the amount my plane was late, which meant for an easy pickup, and I did try to converse with him though I was feeling distinctly zombie-like. By the time I got home I was dizzy and nauseated. What the heck? I’m much better today, with no eye issues and only a bit of fuzzy-headedness. Maybe I have 9-11 PTSD or something (for those of you who don’t know, I was on a plane headed to O’Hare when the events occurred, leading to some traumatic times).

I came home to a lot of love, though. Goldie glued herself to me the second I got into bed and didn’t move for a couple of hours. Today she’s been constantly checking on me, and also trying to inform me that she can’t sit on “her” couch because someone put an immense television on it.

So I got up and moved the immense and very heavy television. It’s the old one from our house in Round Rock, and apparently giant televisions were much heavier then. Glodie is much happier now and I can type (she kept nosing the keyboard away!).

Of course all the dogs were glad to see me, as were the chickens. Some horses seemed more glad than others. Apache was ecstatic, and glued himself to me much like Goldie did. He looks good, other than two sores on his shoulder. The good news is his grass allergy issues are gone, thanks to the Zyrtec, and the rest of him looks wonderful.

Drew was more interested in the water trough I refilled than in me, but after he drank he came and rubbed his wet face on me. He looked really clean, and I wondered why. Here is why:

Apparently, while I was gone, he figured out that the front pond is swimmable. The edges aren’t as quicksand-esque as they were when the water was higher, so he’s taken to swimming around and having a blast. Kathleen said the first time she heard the splashing, she thought we had a gator. Nope, just a sea serpent/horse hybrid.

It doesn’t appear that anyone else has joined Droodles in the horse swimming pool, but I sure was happy to watch him cruising around and having a great time.

There’s really no grass, so I need to get more hay out to them this afternoon. The heat is still miserable, and it hasn’t rained. The high was “only” 99 on Tuesday, but it’s still hard on everyone here. I will be getting out early to work with horses starting in the morning.

It was nice to get back to my office to work, though my house looks like hoarders have moved in. The rest of the furniture from my old house got brought in while we were gone and we’re still working out where to put everything. Much of the stuff is in our newest shipping container, and I owe a HUGE debt of gratitude to the guys who moved everything out of our old church, up and down those stairs.

Yes, we no longer own a church, which I’m not too sad about, because now Cameron gets a new church. I’m told the minister is really nice, so I’m happy for them. It looks like it’s time for our real estate business to find a new investment.

Thanks for reading, and hi to all you new readers! I do have a book report to write, which I hope to get done tomorrow. It takes thought, and I’m too tired to think right now.

Security for Me

Are you seeking security or adventure?

It was a pretty laid-back day, so I’ll answer the daily prompt. It’s an easy one! I’ve never been the adventurous type. I’m not especially fond of trying new things. I like comfort and familiarity. That’s why I have a good imagination; I can do risky things there.

Besides, I don’t have to go far to find beauty.

As I age, this is yet another of my proclivities that has mellowed. I’m finally trying out saying yes to invitations, moving outside my comfort zone, and just taking one step forward and seeing what happens.

Once again, the horsemanship experience has provided a relatively safe place to be adventurous. I learned to ride alone (until I got hurt). I then learned to communicate better with my horse. I finally trotted and didn’t die. Now I enjoy it. Maybe before Apache turns 20 we can canter together. That’s adventurous.

Sara realized that Apache, formerly known as Dingle or Dinghy, showed up at her house 14 years ago today. He was 4. I am hoping he stays as healthy as he is for a few more years! We both started our adventures together rather late, but we’re getting there.

Two things impress me about this picture of my two friends 14 years ago. One, his mane is so white. Two, Sara still wears that cap.

I think I’m always going to prefer security. My mind can go far as long as I feel safe in my home and loved by those who matter to me. it takes all kinds!

I hope this tiny caterpillar stays safe. It’s on a passion vine tendril that curled as I held it.

Smiling So Hard and Learning So Much

The amount of gratitude I have for everyone who’s encouraged me in my horse-loving journey is boundless. That includes my family, Sara (who gave me Apache), the Parelli instructor I learned from early on, our late friend Christi…and of course, Tarrin, who you probably hear too much about. But hey, it’s my blog, and I can talk about anyone I want to (with certain exceptions). And what’s wrong with telling the world a professional is good at their job?

Drew is plotting to have a meltdown at her in this photo (just kidding, horses do not have brains that plot)

My point here is that I’m just so happy to have reached the point in my journey where hard work has paid off and fun is creeping into our lessons more and more. That’s taken a village!

Village member Lee doesn’t mind driving to lessons because he gets to drive Seneca, the motorhome. It looks a bit fancy but darn it, at least we’re using it!

Today I just smiled and smiled during my lessons with Drew and Apache. Sure, my side passing still needs work, but Apache’s doing way better at it. And we had great fun trotting around and improving our form and speed controls. I can’t believe I’m so much better. I like going fast and don’t feel out of control. Neither does Apache. Teamwork!

I think Apache never heard the words “good boy” so many times in his life. He really tries. And he pays attention to me. Meanwhile, I’m learning to ride one handed and it’s really working great. Why knew? And my posture! It’s practically good! Wow. No wonder I smoked.

Plus! Get this! We went all the way to the trailer, past a piece of loyd heavy equipment, and down to the exit gate and back. With ZERO spooks or panics. It was completely calm. Drew, on the other hand, had a big spook when Apache walked by. Too bad Tarrin stopped filming.

Apache is an amazing steed.

Drew’s lesson was more challenging but I learned a lot. He is better but decided it was a good idea to refuse to canter going right. Then he started crowding Tarrin and acting up. Much fit pitching occurred. I learned a lot from how Tarrin calmed him down. He ended up doing exercises for his sore leg like a champ.

It made me really hot and I was dubious about my bath. I ended up liking it.

After he calmed down and did his exercises, I got to ride him around a bit. We did just fine in an unfamiliar place with interesting distractions. And he’d walked right to the trailer so I didn’t have to carry his saddle.

In the end I was proud of Droodles, too. I had to smile as I sat in the shade (so I wouldn’t barf) and watched Tarrin get him in a better frame of mind. I’m going to learn a lot from meltdowns!

By the way, Apache has lost weight and looks like a normal horse, almost.

I probably have more to say but I took something for back pain ( hurt before riding) and I’ve grown woozy. So good night!

Catching Up with Things

I didn’t get a chance to blog last night, because I had a bit of the old heat exhaustion going on. But it could have been worse, and I have no permanent damage. It was simply very hot at my lesson yesterday – as it was for Tarrin and her young helper, who had it way worse than I did. Drew helped me out a bit by still having a hurt leg issue, so there was no riding of him again. Tarrin did some exercises and said she was glad I figured out he didn’t feel good and wasn’t being “stubborn” or “naughty.” I’ll do some exercises with him after another day or two of rest.

You can see how thrilled they were to be going to lessons.

Apache and I still aren’t doing all that great going sideways, then he got a nosebleed from all his snorting in protest. On the other hand, the boy has the cantering concept down at last, and we both are improving greatly in slowing down and speeding up, even if we didn’t do much trotting due to heat and blood. What a day!

I’m still wandering around just in case there are any new birds or insects, but in midsummer, we tend to just have the usual suspects. Things will pick up once migration starts again. I did get a couple of nice photos of a ponderous spur-throat grasshopper (Melanoplus ponderosus) and a giant walking stick (Megaphasma denticrus).

I do have a little happy story to tell that I didn’t get to earlier in the week. You may recall that there was a Carolina wren (Thryothorus ludovicianus) nest in a box on our back porch. I noticed that the babies were getting pretty big and took a picture of them.

I went out to do something and wasn’t around for a while. When I got home, Lee was sitting by the pool, looking (for Lee) excited. What was going on, I wondered? He then told me he had been sitting there, just looking across the pool when he saw something seem to bounce on the water, then land in it. He quickly realized it was one of the baby wrens!

Lee rushed to rescue it, which he did by fishing it out with the pool net. He set the net down on the porch near the nest, and when I showed up, it was there resting and drying off.

You can see how they inspired Angry Birds. Look at those little bits of down!

We watched it for the next half hour or so, while I was swimming and Lee was reading (this was late afternoon before the latest heat wave). We saw it start to shake its head and fluff itself up, which we took to be a good sign that the little bird was drying off and settling down. Lee thought maybe it wanted to be closer to the nest, so he picked up the pool net to move it closer.

At the movement, the fledgling decided it was time to try to fly again, and this time chose a better direction. It went over to the disc golf set and settled down there.

We could see that it moved around a lot the rest of the evening, as we kept peeking out the window. We noted that the sibling bird was long gone, so we guessed the baby would soon head out to be with the rest of the family and learn to catch its own moths and such. Sure enough, I’ve seen the family over by the woods.

I was so proud of Lee for thinking so quickly and saving our little buddy. We are good aviary stewards, I guess. Speaking of our aviary, there’s now a pair of great egrets (Ardea alba) hanging out in the pond behind us, along with the night herons who’ve been there a while.

And I found out why there are so many red-winged blackbirds (Agelaius phoeniceus) by the driveway. There is a huge nest in the willow tree. They sure are active and loud!

Dang Horses, but Whee, a New Sedge

Not much to write about that I have time for, other than the fact that my precious horses were naughty. It’s my own fault for trying to keep them in the front pasture overnight so I could ride Drew this morning.

Drew and Mabel apparently knocked most of the fence between the two pastures down because they WANTED that greener grass. I hope they are happy. I’ll come up with Plan C.

So, I rode Apache this morning instead, and we had a fine time. We walked on the road! Briefly. Very briefly.

All these guys wanted was to hang out with me before it got hot.

Plan C was ride Drew after he ate, while the other horses were nearby. It was still 100° at that time but the sun was less intense. He was much more focused and friendly today, and even seemed glad I got dozens of pieces of dried pepper weed out of his mane. But, no riding occurred. He kept having back leg trouble. He could canter to the right just fine, but the second time he tried going left, he sounded like he hurt. Eek!

So I petted him, walked him around and told him he was a good boy. We see Tarrin tomorrow, so I’ll know more then. It’s weird, because he seemed ok Friday, though I didn’t push him. And he certainly could gallop yesterday, as seen here.

Anyway, since I had to tromp all over the pasture this morning, I also looked at plants. I was happy to see Devils Claw (Proboscidea louisianica) blooming. It is a fascinating plant with aromatic oil and edible seed pods that are beautiful dried. They’re pollinated by native bees. Thanks, Wikipedia, for that info.

While inspecting the downed fence, I saw something unfamiliar and pretty, so of course I photographed it.

I touched its stem and realized it was a sedge, which makes sense, because it was growing in a spot that stays damp longer than most of the pasture. I guessed it was a nutsedge. Two other sedges grow there, too (yellow nutsedge (Cyperus esculentus) and pine barren nutsedge (Cyperus retrorsus)). I looked it up this evening and found it was a new plant I hadn’t seen here before. Short-point flatsedge (Cyperus acuminatus) is common from here up north to Canada. It’s certainly a pretty one!

I’m glad I’m so easily entertained.

A Weekend for Me

This entire weekend I did stuff I wanted to do, when I wanted to. Now, that’s relaxing! Even sweeping the chicken house and getting rid of feed bags was done on MY time. I didn’t breathe poop, by the way. Lesson learned.

I do have a funny horse story. I was out in the pasture heading to bring in Apache, who still likes to play hard to get. I know I’m sending off good vibes, because every other horse comes right to me. And that’s what was funny. Fiona had already latched on to my side as I walked to Apache. Suddenly I heard thundering hooves, then in a puff of dust, Drew’s head appeared directly beside my face. He was just SURE I was looking for him and he was concerned he was late, because he had to pee. Obviously I have no trouble catching Drew. Eventually I once again had to maneuver around three horses and a donkey who were dying for me to take them off to be groomed.

They are all right there. Happy to see me.

Now, once Apache decides he’s ready, he is no trouble at all, and seems to enjoy walking around, being groomed, and riding. He just wants to be the one to decide it’s time to go do stuff.

I’m working on letting Suna be the boss.

He’s so much fun, though. I’m not complaining at all. We have had many years to develop this relationship, so we’ll keep working and I’ll enjoy the ride, literally.

I got a bath, so I could roll and get all dirty again five minutes after this picture was taken.

The rest of today, like yesterday, was spent knitting, floating in the pool, napping, and hanging out. Lee, Anita, and I even got to go out for dinner! My sour cream enchiladas were great, plus they didn’t mess with the temporary crown I need to keep in until Friday.

Naturally, ha ha, I took some nature pictures. This little garden spider got quite a catch!

The aviary kept me all excited again today, though. We got to watch the wren feed her brood and enjoy all those fledgling barn swallows darting and swooping along with their parents. They seemed pretty proud of themselves to be able to sit on the light fixtures.

And to top it all off, there were more genuine clouds in the sky tonight (there were some yesterday, too, but no rain).

That led to an amazing moonrise and sunset. The moon was pretty such a short time. I’m glad I was taking my time and enjoying everything that came along tonight and the rest of the weekend.

It may be time for a new Facebook cover photo.

I hope you have a good week and that the weekend refreshed and renewed you, even a little. I certainly needed some time to reflect and treat myself kindly after beating myself up a bit last week!

I felt like the heron. At home in my place.