Today was full of ups and downs. I’m dealing with internal drama that has nothing to do with anyone else, but it’s making me impatient and snappy. I’m not at my best.
Goldie is here to comfort me.
But guess who doesn’t care about any of that, as long as I leave it all back in the house? The horses. I just read a blog post by my trainer, Tarrin, who reminded us to only bring joy to our horses, not our baggage. That’s such good advice! And I did that today, because the moment I set eyes on my little herd, my stress fell away and was replaced with warmth and happiness.
It’s a pleasure to check in with each horse and Fiona the donkey, seeing how they’re feeling after a recent escapade with locking themselves in a small pen, noticing how calm and loving Mabel has become since starting supplements for ulcers, how irritated Drew is with his hurt head from the pen episode, and how happy Apache was to get loved on and de-burred.
As always, they were glad for food.
It was Apache’s turn to be ridden today, and we are doing an exercise about going to the edges of his boundaries. It was going fine until I headed him in his “bad” direction just as Lee sped by in Hilda the utility vehicle. He threw his head down to shake the reins out of my hands and started to take off. But, hooray, I was prepared and did the correct version of a one-rein stop and he did, indeed, stop.
I swear I could hear Apache thinking, “Dang, that trick doesn’t work anymore.” He was a fine fellow the rest of the ride, including trotting around the outside of the round pen. Much petting and praise ensued. I’d gained his respect a bit more.
That’s the power of learning lessons from those who have more experience than you do. I’m lucky to have mentors and teachers in my life like Tarrin to impart these lessons in ways I can best hear them and use them.
Thank whoever’s helped you get through your challenges and empowers you to keep going. These are people to treasure! Thanks, Tarrin.
And thanks to Carlton for being goofy in his zest for unearthing hidden tissues. Hard to be sad watching that.
In what ways does hard work make you feel fulfilled?
I’m not going to answer a prompt every day this month, but at the end of today, I knew the answer to this one.
Hard work that leads to growth is fulfilling to me. Work for work’s sake, well, it’s a chance to practice mindfulness at best. I can mentally go to my happy place while doing drudge work.
Happy place (Hermits’ Rest woods)
The work I’ve been doing the past few years with horses has been hard, really hard. It’s pushed me out of my comfort zone both mentally and physically. Horses are beautiful and smell good, but they are weird and unpredictable (even for people who know them well).
You never know what we’ll do next.
I was just chatting with a fellow student of Tarrin’s tonight, and we were commiserating about our setbacks this summer and how hard it is to regain confidence when you feel like you can’t trust your horse. We both know we will have to work hard on it, but we pointed out how many obstacles we each have overcome so far. That helps, reminders from others!
Woodpeckers work hard in this tree.
As for other kinds of hard work, like actual work and volunteer work, of course it helps if I learn and grow from it. I am fulfilled if my efforts are appreciated or help others. That’s why I like teaching people. You can see that the students have new skills or knowledge that will enrich them. Teaching knitting really exemplifies this. You give someone a lifelong hobby!
Then they can make giant year-long blankets.
My Master Naturalist work is often hard, but wow is it fulfilling to know so much about my surroundings and it’s great to be able to help others ID plants and birds or understand more about the local ecosystem.
For example, I know these rocks, which look like potatoes to me, are what’s in the soil here.
As for today, I took a long walk in the woods, got to enjoy Apache’s previous rider, Kayla, visit with him, and rode Drew around the pasture with only a little need for reassurance. (Backsliding was having trouble bridling after it went well for a few times in a row.)
Old friends and a nice new dog friend.
Enjoy sites from the woods.
True but rude to put on our bridge. Extra loud crow that dominated my bird sound recordings. Drummond’s wood sorrelGreen poinsettia Graceful balloon vineLittle ballon’sStream flowingMy little friend, silky evolvulus Pond behind our back pond. Honey mesquite pods
Oh, gee. No idea how to answer this. Hmm. It’s a lot easier to think of traits I’d like to improve on.
Ok. I declare my favorite trait about myself is my curiosity. I’m curious about nature, people, ideas. That leads to knowledge, which leads to growth, which makes life a positive experience.
Here’s a very curious-looking insect. it’s the nymph of Trichopepla semivittata, whatever that is. A scientist told me.
I’m sorta glad we had to cancel our camping trip this weekend. I’ve enjoyed working with the horses a lot since it’s no longer unbearably hot just before sunset.
Blue dasher dragonfly that got trapped in the tack room.
I’m taking Apache back to basics, so no riding, just long walks. Yesterday we walked all the way down the road, where he couldn’t see any other horses. He was just fine. He just has trouble being ridden alone. That’s frustrating, but I’m following Tarrin’s plan and we’ll see how it works out.
I’m a nervous horsie.
Drew, on the other hand, is settling down so well. After we had a nice, calm walk at training last week, I decided maybe HE would be the horse I can ride around the property and enjoy. Sure enough, this evening we went all over the field in front of the house with no stress whatsoever. I’m going to try some other places tomorrow. I’m pleased.
I’m not a millennial or whatever age group feels the need to associate with a brand or become a brand. It’s just not something I think about. Ever.
I guess, tongue in cheek, I could say I associate myself to Color Street (see, I linked to it). It’s the stuff I use for my silly little fingernails that make me happy. Since I’m constantly being asked how I do the looks, I do tend to evangelize. And I’m probably helping Rebecca the consultant actually make money in an MLM scheme (or as proponents call it, a home business, ha ha).
Ooh, aah. Nails.
Yeah, there are less expensive options that feel a bit rubbery, but I enjoy the fun of buying these and sharing ideas and manicures with others. It’s fairly harmless and supports a US business. I represent Color Street (unofficially) because it’s fun.
That’s what they look like in the package.
The only other “brand” I associate with is the Texas Master Naturalist program. I’m proud to have a TMN license plate and wear my shirts around. It’s a privilege to share what I’ve learned with others, too. This organization does so much for our state parks and research.
It’s fun to be in nature with friends.
I’m just not fond of branding myself and am not inclined to become an influencer and promote things. That seems so fake and vain. Besides, I’m old, which Facebook must not know with all their labeling me as a rising creator. I think creator means person who shares a lot of stuff.
Hey, it’s my brand!
In other news, I was working with Apache and walked him way over by the woods. While he was noshing away on some healthy grass, I spotted a raccoon in the stream!
See its ear?See its tail?Woods fun with a weird horse.
Yeah, today I wouldn’t have blogged. But I committed to answering the prompt for all of September. Only three more days!
It was nice enough outside to do a Zoom meeting by the pool.
What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?
Gee, y’all, I’ve received a lot of good advice. I’ve been lucky to surround myself with wise women (and some treasured wise men), so good advice has flowed my way. Plus I read Brené Brown, so I’ve read a lot of good advice too.
But I’m supposed to share the best advice I ever received. I’ll share the on that came to my mind first.
Don’t let other people be your mirror.
My therapist, Victoria, used to say that when I would get all upset and believe what some of the more negative people in my life said about me. I’d keep seeing myself like my ex looked at me, people at jobs, etc. This advice helped me learn to value my own assessment of myself. I think back to it whenever I dive deep into self pity or negative self talk.
Maybe it will help you.
Horse Stories
I’ve been trying to not write about my horses, but sometimes I just want to share. And it IS my blog!
First. Today I was taking a walk to the mailbox (it’s my reward for editing three job aids). I looked over and saw good old Dusty grazing peacefully between me and the pond. I vaguely recognized the other horses were on the other side of the pond, next to the road.
Suddenly there came a thundering sound and, followed by splashing and branches snapping. Drew appeared from under the willow trees, running at full speed. He had run along the muddy shore of the pond and emerges with nostrils flaring and tail tossing. He galloped straight to poor Dusty, chomped him on the shoulder, them proceeded to buck, kick, and fling himself around like he was electrified.
Once he stopped, he nipped Dusty again then zoomed back to the other side of the pond, poked the other two horses, fell to his knees and rolled.
I wonder what was going on?
Second. Apache has been feeling better, and did fine on two fairly short rides since our last lesson. But today he was not happy when I tried to do a bit more work now that the weather broke slightly. He did the absolutely frightening thing where he shakes his head violently to get the reins out of my hands, puts his head down, kicks, and takes off. I am very proud that I have not fallen off.
Actually, I’m getting way better at getting the reins back, trying to relax, and getting him to stop, some of the time. Otherwise he heads toward the tack room like his life depends on it.
I figured it would not be a good idea to give him the idea that the ride will be over if he does this, so I let him sit and rest a while at the tack room, then got him to walk fairly calmly to the round pen where his halter was. He thinks that is also a place to stop, so he went along with it.
But I am proud of myself that I got him to make some figure eights, and sidepass (fairly well). When I got off, I decided to let him know the work doesn’t always end when his halter is back on. We went on a nice walk around the area, dearth with a scary dumpster very well, then had some nice together time where I let him graze on some long grass that’s way better for him than the new grass in his pasture.
Apache in grass heaven.
I hope I did well, He was sure calmer by the time I took off his saddle. I just sometimes think I’m not cut out for this horse stuff. I’m STILL not a very good horse leader, apparently.
Name the professional athletes you respect the most and why.
Many of my friends aren’t fond of professional sports or the players. Trust me, I won’t argue that there are plenty of negative aspects, like head injuries, young people being taken advantage of, ridiculous ticket prices, gambling, drugs…etc.
But I can’t help being impressed with what some very wise athletes have done with their fame (in addition to making funny commercials and getting oh so wealthy (I see you Mannings and Mahomes). So, here are a few I admire.
Billy Jean King. It’s hard not to admire her. She took her platform as a tennis player and has not stopped using it to promote women’s rights and health. She’s still doing good work, with her weirdly brown hair for someone age 79.
Dak Prescott. Not only is he my favorite player on my favorite football team (Dallas Cowboys, for anti-US sports readers), but he won the Walter Payton NFL Man of the Year for his extensive charity work. He has a good sense of humor, but seems very intelligent and willing to share his ridiculous income with others. He doesn’t seem busy only buying bling, dressing weird, and putting shiny stuff on his teeth (OK, I’ve seen his outfits; he does wear some unusual fashion). But heck, he’s exactly one month younger that my son, so he’s still a kid.
Me and my Dak Bobblehead.
Kareem Abdul Jabbar. I’ve always admired him as a human being, even when I was very young. Yes, he was one of the greatest basketball players ever, but he’s also a brilliant thinker on history, race relations, religion, and more. He is a great speaker and writer, too.
So that’s the answer to the prompt. For those of you who don’t know me personally, I thought I’d share my rough afternoon. Here’s my Facebook post:
I get so tired of being weak and wimpy.
I’m very grateful for my kind horse.
I overheated riding today because I’d convinced myself it was “cooler” outside. I didn’t realize it, but I guess Apache did, because in the middle of our exercises he broke free and zoomed to the tack room and stopped. I was thinking, ooh, he’s not listening, so I need to get him to pay attention before I get off, so I tried to walk a few steps then stop. After the second time, he zipped to the round pen, where his halter was, walked a circle for me and stopped.
As we stopped I realized I was shaking all over and dizzy. When I dismounted I was nauseated. Apache walked slowly with me to the shade and just stood by me as I sat down to call Lee to come get me.
Here he is hanging with me
We both got hosed off, which helped. Now, maybe Apache had his own reasons for acting weird, but I appreciate that he got me to get off sooner than I’d planned. I wish the promised cooler (previously there was a “coojer” typo that was pretty funny) weather would show up! I’m hardly able to get anything done with the horses other than feeding and ground work.
Today was my first horse lesson since July. I was not sad to miss trying to learn while getting heatstroke. What a relief it was to have a break in the weather —two days with highs less than 100. Plus there were lovely clouds (Tarrin says it’s my job to bring them) and a nice breeze.
There was NO breeze at sunrise, so I sweated during horse and hay work.
I could concentrate on learning and so could the horses. Apache showed how hard he studied since I got back from Myrtle Beach and did his skills pretty well. I’m just so proud of him.
My good man, glad to be home.
Drew has some work to do to get back his leg strength and re-learn to focus, but it shouldn’t take long. He’s still just the sweetest little boundary pusher.
I’m really not interested in sunset photography, Mom.
A bonus of getting home at sunset was seeing the beautiful full moon rise. It’s also a blue moon and I think a super moon? Anyway, I enjoyed watching it rise as the sky turned beautiful colors in every direction.
There’s a blue moon on the rise.
I couldn’t decide what parts of the sky were prettier. Judging from the impatient nickers I heard, the horses and Fiona weren’t as enthralled as I was. They did get their food!
This was shiny and glowed. Find the moon!Brilliant. This one’s a wide angle. Nice end to the day
It was a good day all around for me. I even got to have a work meeting with a Facebook friend, which was fun. We were tickled pink. I’m glad for these bright spots. The more glimmers the better!
In this autumn season of my life,* I’m finding it necessary to let go of many things, from long-held beliefs to long-admired people. No doubt you, too, have found this to be a struggle. Sometimes you just have to let go of the metaphorical rope and see where you end up.
I have been there, and have the T-shirt.
This can work literally, as well. Today when we got back to the ranch, the weather was a little better than when we left town. I felt empowered to ride Apache in the afternoon rather than my usual morning rides on days when it’s over 105°.
I even groomed him completely rather than a quick removal of saddle-area dirt. That’s good, because all the horses appear to have rolled in the dirt after our .004” of rain yesterday. He was orange. Then I saddled up and headed out for a wee ride. I didn’t plan to trot much, since our ground is so hard.
They are resting up, I guess, having escaped after we left. Drew is STILL rolling.
After warming up (our muscles—at 95° we were already warm) I swung into the saddle, only to realize I’d forgotten his bridle. Fine. I “let go of the reins” and we rode around doing circles, figure eights, side passes (sorta), and backing in the round pen. Then we went outside and walked around the pen in both directions, finally heading back to the tack room, where the bridle was waiting.
I ended the ride on the high note of riding with no reins. We were both pleased with ourselves, I think.
Let’s pause to enjoy May-July on the temperature blanket.
If only letting go in other areas could be as easy…wait, that wasn’t easy! We’ve worked years to get here and needed lots of help. Aha! That applies to all areas of life!
And just like how I didn’t know how well the ride would go until I tried, I’m going to have to keep trying to let go of the reins and let go of patterns and people who are holding me back from the peaceful and productive life I want to enjoy from now on.
I hope my roots are as sturdy as this oak’s
I’ll keep practicing and rely on wise mentors as I get better at surrounding myself with strength and love while letting go of anything that makes me anxious, sad, or powerless.
* In my optimistic view, spring is birth to 30 years, summer 31-60, autumn 61-90, and winter begins at 90. Why not?
I made it home yesterday, but for some reason the travel completely wore me out. I guess travel is stressful, since my right eye wept all day, while the left eye had a tic. The plane travel was fine, other than the fact that the Charlotte airport was dirtier and dingier than I remembered. Of course, the flight from there to Austin was delayed, so I got to stay there and look at food on the floor and seats quite a while. By the time we boarded, I thought I’d fall asleep standing up.
None of this was heavy except the backpack, which was a carryon. It tried to kill me.
Lee was late exactly the amount my plane was late, which meant for an easy pickup, and I did try to converse with him though I was feeling distinctly zombie-like. By the time I got home I was dizzy and nauseated. What the heck? I’m much better today, with no eye issues and only a bit of fuzzy-headedness. Maybe I have 9-11 PTSD or something (for those of you who don’t know, I was on a plane headed to O’Hare when the events occurred, leading to some traumatic times).
I love you.
I came home to a lot of love, though. Goldie glued herself to me the second I got into bed and didn’t move for a couple of hours. Today she’s been constantly checking on me, and also trying to inform me that she can’t sit on “her” couch because someone put an immense television on it.
Immense television
So I got up and moved the immense and very heavy television. It’s the old one from our house in Round Rock, and apparently giant televisions were much heavier then. Glodie is much happier now and I can type (she kept nosing the keyboard away!).
Happier dog.
Of course all the dogs were glad to see me, as were the chickens. Some horses seemed more glad than others. Apache was ecstatic, and glued himself to me much like Goldie did. He looks good, other than two sores on his shoulder. The good news is his grass allergy issues are gone, thanks to the Zyrtec, and the rest of him looks wonderful.
Is that a sea serpent in the pond?
Drew was more interested in the water trough I refilled than in me, but after he drank he came and rubbed his wet face on me. He looked really clean, and I wondered why. Here is why:
I gots me a pool
Apparently, while I was gone, he figured out that the front pond is swimmable. The edges aren’t as quicksand-esque as they were when the water was higher, so he’s taken to swimming around and having a blast. Kathleen said the first time she heard the splashing, she thought we had a gator. Nope, just a sea serpent/horse hybrid.
I look like. Gator from here, right?
It doesn’t appear that anyone else has joined Droodles in the horse swimming pool, but I sure was happy to watch him cruising around and having a great time.
Drew in Heaven
There’s really no grass, so I need to get more hay out to them this afternoon. The heat is still miserable, and it hasn’t rained. The high was “only” 99 on Tuesday, but it’s still hard on everyone here. I will be getting out early to work with horses starting in the morning.
Fiona is not impressed
It was nice to get back to my office to work, though my house looks like hoarders have moved in. The rest of the furniture from my old house got brought in while we were gone and we’re still working out where to put everything. Much of the stuff is in our newest shipping container, and I owe a HUGE debt of gratitude to the guys who moved everything out of our old church, up and down those stairs.
Yes, we no longer own a church, which I’m not too sad about, because now Cameron gets a new church. I’m told the minister is really nice, so I’m happy for them. It looks like it’s time for our real estate business to find a new investment.
How about investing in more donkeys?
Thanks for reading, and hi to all you new readers! I do have a book report to write, which I hope to get done tomorrow. It takes thought, and I’m too tired to think right now.
The Hermits' Rest 