The Hermits' Rest

Chocolate Bars – Really?

Describe your dream chocolate bar.

Who thought of this question? But since I’m tired I’ll answer it.

My dream chocolate bar has milk chocolate, thick, covering it. The interior is a Dulce de leche caramel. Around that is cashews and juicy raisins. The end.

In real life, I love the salted caramel Milky Way.

Other than that, life is good. We celebrated my son’s birthday from last week at our usual Mexican restaurant and it was a lovely evening. It’s so amazing to see us all doing well and happy with our lives.

Life is good, at least at the Hermits’ Rest.

It’s All Black Beauty’s Fault

Do you remember your favorite book from childhood?

Surprise! As a child I was very fond of, you guessed it, horse books. I read every horse book in the Sidney Lanier Elementary School library by third grade. The last book the librarian found was Steinbeck’s The Red Pony. She soon learned that sensitive young girls should not be given that book, even if they have advanced reading skills. I cried a lot and had nightmares.

I didn’t like the thought of horses dying gruesome deaths.

I’m glad they now have books for young people with high reading levels that are still children.

My favorite childhood book, Black Beauty, by Anna Sewell, also depicted bad things that happen to a horse, but after I’d read it once, I knew there would be a happy ending, so I let all Sewell’s animal rights propaganda seep into my future Master Naturalist brain by reading my poor copy dozens of times.

This was the 1955 edition I owned. Goodness, that horse has small eyes.

I can tell you what the cover looked like, and how I regretted that I let the plastic coating on the cover peel away. I can smell the book, even. It was the most beloved of a set of beloved horse books, a few of which I still have.

No wonder it was so important to me to find a trainer who was kind to horses and understood them. It’s probably a good thing I waited until I was getting on in years to start formal lessons, so that natural horsemanship could become a “thing.” I wouldn’t have been good at the showing the horse who’s boss by beating them school of training nor the cruel bits/painful sours tack they’d use. Black Beauty didn’t like that either!

That stuff’s for the birds, says Mr Cardinal.

Today was a great example of how Tarrin Warren, my horsemanship coach and horse trainer, works with each horse and rider pair differently, according to the needs and skills of both the horse and the human.

Check this out! Me and Drew happily riding outside of the arena! Happy faces.

I had lessons on both horses, and doing the same exercise I used different techniques to bring out Drew and Apache’s talents and help with their issues, all the while building my skills. This helps me with my confidence in other areas, too.

This horse right here calmly walked by neighing horses, a loud RV, and the previously hated trailer.

Horses are good for people. And looking at Apache’s shining eyes and willing body makes me think maybe they get something from us, too.

Drew is completely back to his normal self, too. It’s like the past few months never happened. We have fun and I feel perfectly safe with him, even when his leg collapses under him. Heck, today I gave him his shot like a pro, and had ZERO issues bridling him. Those are two things I’d never have believed I could do before.

So yeah, as much as I loved learning about horses in books as a child, I’m loving it even more with actual horses. Yup, even with all the ups and downs.

Here we are, looking forward to the future. Or looking at Tarrin’s new house.

Tomorrow I promise to write about something other than horses! Or birds. I’m getting rather stuck on topics, but it helps me avoid controversy.

But we birds are fascinating, says the Red-Bellied Woodpecker.

I’m also interesting! (Giant Walking Stick)

What about me? I came in Suna’s house and she rescued me before dogs found me. That’s interesting. (Gulf Coast Toad)

Well, Just Look at All This Contentment

Whenever I get the urge to write about controversial topics, I think about whether what I’m going to say will help folks out or just needle at people. Rather than needle, I think I’ll be a boring blogger and just write about the goodness in my life.

Regardless of my fun-loving long-eared buddy’s opinions, I think contentment is a fine topic. I noticed how Mama Swallow looked content this morning as she gazed at her nearly grown brood, still trying to fit in their nest. She’s almost finished bringing them all those insects!

Much of my own contentment today came from watching little things. There were many Viceroy butterflies dancing around one of the broken willow trees. Maybe they are getting analgesic properties from the sap. Who knows. But it was satisfying to watch all the fluttering.

I know I get repetitive about this. I do. But who cares, since it’s my blog! Just watching Fiona and the horses enjoying their lives brings me a great deal of contentment. Just knowing that they get to roam, graze, and explore their world warms me up inside.

They have alternated between blissful relaxation, diligent chomping, and playing all day today. So much grass to choose from must make them feel good. (And it has NOT made Apache’s feet feel bad, so I know I chose a good time to move them. He was pretty perky in his ground work today).

I had a great time this evening just watching them graze by the pond. Apache loves these little sedges that grow in our moist areas, and there’s a lot of it around the pond. He carefully made his way to the shore and chowed down. That made him thirsty so he splashed and drank and had so much fun that Drew was intrigued, but he never intruded on Apache’s fun.

One of the best things about living here is just watching animals, whether it’s the chickens hopping on bugs, the dogs chasing each other, cattle, or these guys. They remind me that simple things can make you content.

I did get a funny action shot, too.

Shaky shaky

And now for a photo dump.

New Grass Is Delightful

It was a fun day for both Lee and our equine buddies. Lee got to shred (that means mow using a shredder pulled behind a tractor) the two pastures the horses haven’t been on, since the grass has seeded.

Ready to shred (no, the hay forks have nothing to do with shredding)

It was time for the horses and Fiona to switch pastures anyway, and I wanted the extra annoying giant cockleburs mowed down before they made seeds this year. I’ve learned a lesson with them! Lee loves to shred, so once he got help attaching the shredder, off he went.

To get there, I had to open the gate, do of course everyone went out to see their old pasture with new grass in it.

Where the round bales had been, lots and lots of Johnson grass had grown up (indicating that was not the greatest hay). It was taller than Dusty!

Dusty demonstrates the height of Johnson grass. Note that all horses look fat.

Everyone started to go to town on that dang grass, but I knew it wouldn’t be there long enough to hurt anyone, because Lee was shredding away.

He says at first, every time he went by the horses they’d run around and kick up their heels. By the fourth time he had to encourage them to move. Typical!

It’s funny but after the initial thrill of seeing their hill and the hay bale locations, they went back to normal. By feeding time they were all in their pens looking for their feed and supplements.

Vlassic says he also appreciates regular meals.

Other than that, today’s excitement included seeing a bobcat cross the road right in front of me (my son saw it in the same spot last week, holding a rabbit), watching barn swallow fledglings on their first flights, and being visited by some purple martins while we were sitting by our pool. Their song is so lovely—I can see why my friend Donna loves them so much.

Book Report: Weyward

I wanted to finish this book before I went on vacation next week, so I indulged myself and spent much of the day today finishing Weyward, the debut novel by Emilia Hart (2023). My local friends who are in a book club together kept talking about “the book” and how they knew I would like it, so eventually it got passed on to me.

Of course I liked it! If a book had “Suna Shoukd Read Me” on its cover, it would be this one. It’s even set in the area from whence my ancestors came (Cumbria). And there’s a Viscount of Kendall hereditary title in the novel, which is totally made up.

But it’s the women who are linked by strong blood ties as well as ties to nature that draw you into the story. Like many novels, there are parallel plots in different timelines that eventually come together. And there’s a thread of the supernatural that’s not over the top.

Basically, I enjoyed Weyward because it felt like it could depict a distant branch of my own family. I just have to root for a bunch of dark-haired, dark-eyed, weird women who understand nature better than those around them. They are just like me, only more so.

I recommend this book to anyone who likes strong female characters, fantasy novels that aren’t over the top, and clean, consistent writing. Of course, I think a large percent of my friends have already read it!

Now I can give the book back to Ann, who can return it to her son, who kindly embossed his name on page 100, like I used to do.

No Longer Healthy as a Horse

I’ve been very healthy most of my life, other than being incapable of pushing babies out and having a messed up gall bladder removed. I don’t become ill very often, either. Now that my slightly low thyroid and lady hormones have been adjusted, I’m one healthy elder.

And I’m a great photographer! It’s a katydid at sunset

But today I found out I have a condition! Here’s the story.

Yesterday the guy adjusting my back said I should get it x-rayed to be sure I hadn’t cracked a bone in there. That made sense— it was probably just bruised, but who would want to mess with it if you weren’t sure?

So today I thought I’d go to the doctor to get it looked at, but they don’t have x-rays there. So I went to a nice standalone ER place as soon as I got my important work stuff done. It took longer than I’d hoped, especially since I’d forgotten to eat anything.

Once the doctor found out I’d been thrown off a horse he went into covering all the bases mode and decided to get a CAT scan of my head and back. So, now I know what one of those is like. It’s not bad. Sort of fun, probably expensive.

The bubbles in the draining water are like my money draining away.

I was getting worried I wouldn’t make it home in time for my lessons with Tarrin, but eventually the nice doctor came back and told me that my head and back were okay, which I thought would be the case.

That lifted some dark clouds off my head.

But there was more. I have a splenic artery aneurysm. I guess they really look at you when they scan! It turns out these things are usually found when looking for something else. Mine is 1cm and they get concerned when they are 3cm.

I’m supposed to not fall off things, get kicked in the spleen, or get in a car accident. I told Drew and I think he’s holding off on the naughtiness. Just kidding. I’ll be in touch with my primary care doctor on Monday to see what to do.

My guess is they will want to check again in a year. Or they will yank out my poor spleen. I’d like to keep my organs.

Of course I’m still riding. Carefully. Both horses did well today at our place for lessons. It had rained a lot again last night, but we managed a lot with mostly walking. I’m so glad Drew is treating me normally again. That took a while!

No picture of me riding, so here is Tarrin schooling my handsome guys.

Hope you enjoy these sunset photos. There were colors I truly wish I could paint in tonight’s!

What Are Friends For?

What quality do you value most in a friend?

I can forgive a lot of things in my friends. I don’t expect them to be perfect or nice or generous. What I appreciate the most is that my real friends like me the way I am and don’t put me down.

I never want any more “friendships” with conditions on them, where I have to act in ways that don’t feel genuine, or that are based on what I can do for them. I’m fine with that.

And I will remind myself that, with very few exceptions, your coworkers are not your friends. They are people you are cordial with to make getting your work done bearable. (Bear in mind that I married a coworker (twice), became a business partner with a coworker, and still call a former coworker my dearest friend.)

I just need some people in my life I can be myself around without having to walk on eggshells or pretend I’m someone I’m not. And I’m very uninterested in hearing how I should behave, why people don’t like me, or that I’m not woke/unwoke enough. Those folks aren’t in the friend zone anymore.

I don’t need many close friends for a happy life. I have just enough. And interacting with my informal friend groups and like/minded acquaintances can let me have lots of fun—I just have to be more guarded in the larger circle. That’s probably true for most of us.

And I still care deeply for so, so many people I don’t know well or who may not think all that much of me. I just care about folks.

More storms today. Just wind again, though

I am fortunate to have a few very accepting friends, though, and not all of them are dogs and horses! Thanks, friends!

It’s about Time

Just a quick blog today. After a nice afternoon hanging out with the horses I realized that for the first time in months, all the equines are healthy, happy, and calm. It’s about time!

Apache now comes up every time I call, probably because he loves the feed I hide his pill in. And his appetite is normal. We must have spent 20 minutes after he ate just hanging out. He loves having his poll rubbed after some nice grooming.

And Drew is well on his way back to normal as well. I can groom him, though today he pitched a little fit before I got him groomed. The helpful bamboo stick came to the rescue. Earlier in the week he did fine. And I can ride him and get his bridle on. Whew. I’m proud that I have no trouble riding him after the fall I took. And he’s affectionate again. I’d missed that.

Not his most flattering angle. He’s not much fatter. I felt he deserved some nice grass after all his ground work today (the riding was just walking and trotting and stopping.)

I’m relieved none of them got hurt in the storms, too. I can’t even find a cut.

They were supposed to get their dental work done today, but the poor dentist accidentally dropped her expensive bottle of sedatives and it broke! You can’t do teeth safely without sedation. We will try again!

See. We are back to a good relationship. I do wish I could wear a helmet straight.

But in the meantime I’ll enjoy good horse times.

Organized Religion, Unpopular Beliefs, and Such

Do you practice religion?

Have we met? If we have, you probably know I’m not a fan of organized religion. It seems like whenever some spiritual leader comes along, followers start twisting their teachings around to justify their agendas. I’ll stop there and let the reader come up with their own examples. It’s not hard to do.

No illustrations go with this blog so enjoy some bugs.

I’ve tried, of course. I always liked church as a kid because there was singing. In harmony. I liked that. The inconsistency of the teachings? Not so much.

I have tried a couple of other paths, but each started trying to say “my doctrine is better than yours” (even Wicca/neopaganism) and I got disinterested in any organized activity. Even Buddhists can start telling you how you should and shouldn’t practice. Fine for those people. Not for me. And the songs for both groups aren’t much fun.

I did stick with UnitarIan Universalism for a long time. The music was excellent and I got to be in a folk group, a choir, and a rock band. But power struggles, infighting, and most of all, the oppressive political correctness mandates got to be too much for me. I got to where I was afraid to speak, because someone would give me a lecture on how I triggered them, used last week’s correct labels, or missed a pronoun. (Note that I do my best to keep up and love everyone in all the trigger-prone communities). I’m just old and slow even as I try to learn (this statement will lead to a lecture on how I COULD do better if I tried, so I’m a sucky ally).

Anyway, my first point is that no matter who you think is the Best Spiritual Leader, I probably respect them and their teachings. My own path draws a lot from the Buddha, Jesus (his actual sayings), and Starhawk. But it’s mine, and I don’t expect you to follow it. I still respect other wise teachings as well. I will say I’m not fond of Mao or Lenin. I’m allowed. Right now at least.

Enjoy my smaller, but repaired, chicken pen.

And here’s my second point. People say things, sometimes in public, that reflect their spiritual path, philosophy, or culture. Sometimes we will agree with them; sometimes we will disagree. But it’s very important to let people say what they have to say. Heck, it tells you whose businesses to support, what sports teams to follow, or who to vote for.

Do not enjoy this large Queen fire ant that flies. Check those mandibles out.

Lately there’s been a lot of commentary about people who express opinions in public that don’t match those of their audiences. Examples include the football player who waxed on about women and motherhood, and Richard Dreyfus, who seems to have said sexist and racist things to an audience that didn’t come to hear that talk.

How should we handle this kind of thing? Well we sure don’t want to go censoring them. That can easily get turned around to where the other side feels censored because THEIR beliefs offend others(aside from the fact that I do censor myself often in my current political setting).

Enjoy my coffee mug from today. I’m running out of things to enjoy.

Nope. These people should say what they want to say, and then deal with the consequences. People will walk out of the venue, which is fine. Or they may no longer buy their products. But the speakers still get to talk.

Enjoy my creepily flesh-colored nails. Only flesh colored for white people, of course.

And those of us with different views also get to talk, even if we can’t be quite woke enough.

I worry that having uncommon beliefs, spiritual or otherwise, may be grounds for punishment in the future if we aren’t careful. Let’s treat those we disagree with the way we hope they’d treat us if we spoke out. We can respect their right to speak, but not be forced to listen.

Sigh. Here’s a dream. Wouldn’t it be cool if everyone felt comfortable flying flags with our favorite candidate’s name on it?

Suna, Stop Being So Hard on Yourself, You Doofus

Oh, Self, you are still listening to a long-ago admonition you think your dad made. You think he expected you to excel at everything you tried to do, and at least be in the top 10% (whew, that excused that B in PE and Algebra 2 that made me not the best in high school—I was not athletic or mathematical until much later in life).

This volunteer portulaca also doesn’t like math. It interrupts the grid.

I’ve always felt literal shame if I got a bad review at work (my interpretation of “bad” was anything other than world’s greatest employee). I just never took criticism well, for no good reason. I just was screwed up from childhood. I’ve gotten better, but when people I care about give harsh criticism, I still fall apart. Nonetheless, honest, I’m way better. I do realize I don’t have to be perfect to be valuable and lovable. In fact, some/many people like me just the way I am, and I BELIEVE it!

Still, I let myself fall into old patterns over the weekend and was all disappointed that Apache and I didn’t rank well at the horse show. At the time, I told myself I was being ridiculous, because we did the best we could, considering our health.

I’m glad Tarrin finally got to use some of her 4th and 5th place ribbons. That means lots of entrants!

Well, I was really being a doofus (just gently ribbing myself), because when I took the time to look at the results, I actually got my best scores with Apache in all the areas except the last one , when I was just trying to survive without passing out. And that was as good as the last show.

I have to remember that Apache really didn’t know how to run properly without a rider, much less with a fearful, bouncing old lady on him!

So, this just presents a confirmation that comparing yourself to others is not at all good for you. The other riders were simply better than me, and on their own path to improve their own skills. As Sara said to me, I’ve come farther than she ever thought I would. I agree. We aren’t talented or young, either of us, but Apache and I keep at it!

I’m proud of our spirit and grit, even if we’re not going to be the “best!” We’re our best.

(By the way, Drew and I are getting along much better.)