The Hermits' Rest

Very Small Pasture Miracles

Today I was distracted by concern for two people I care about who weren’t doing very well. It’s always a relief to have some good little bonuses to balance out your concerns. In the meantime, send out those healing vibes into the Universe!

Both of my little miracles happened when I was out doing my daily sauna…I mean working with horses. First, Apache had a great attitude on the ground and in the saddle, for the most part—he just gave me his opinion for a little bit, then literally sighed and started doing what I asked. After all the stopping, starting, circling, and side passing was done, I decided to see if he’d do any better on the trails Lee has mowed for us (Drew loves them).

Imagine my shock when I realized we’d been moseying along the paths calmly and steadily with no sudden jerking to eat grass or wheeling around to try to go back! He was just fine the entire time we were out. A horsie miracle.

The second miracle I attribute partially to my skills. I was taking Apache’s bridle off so we could head to the trailer to unsaddle. He was very interested in the lush long grass in the playground area, the only part of our property Lee hasn’t hit with the lawn mower. I was asking him to pick up his head, when I saw my shoes and jeans were covered in fire ants. Not just a few, a lot. Usually it’s Apache who steps in them! Here’s the miracle: I managed to brush all the ants off and ended up with only one bite! That’s unbelievable!

Kathleen, who has very bad luck with bites, is probably shaking her head at my luck. Here’s something pretty for her and you.

Not a miracle: the fact that both Apache and I were as wet as if we’d been swimming by the time we were done. It’s weird that the rest of the week’s horse work didn’t affect any of us that much!

Hot (but not that hot) Apache from earlier this week, thinking he had to pee.

The Little Animal Things

Still a busy busy week at work and home. Luckily, being occupied with work keeps me from other thoughts. Even better, I’ve got all these animals to keep my “free” time not very free.

I love going out on breaks to care for the hens and check on the horses. Dusty always sticks his head in my hands for love.

And working to keep Apache feeling good and getting Drew back into work is a great distraction. Droodles is getting lots of reminders that crazy canter is not his goal. But he’s awfully good walking on Lee’s new trails.

And then the dogs. Even when I’m feeling the jitters over things I can’t control, they make me and Lee laugh.

And thanks to all of you who share your pets, birds, and kids on social media—it doesn’t remove serious concerns but it reminds me of what’s good.

Book Report: How to Lose Your Mother

Resilience. That’s the first concept that comes to my mind when I think about Molly Jong-Fast, the author of How to Lose Your Mother: A Daughter’s Memoir (2025). To have made it to adulthood as a functioning human being after experiencing her childhood defines resilience. Some people wouldn’t have made it. Sure, Jong-Fast is a bit messed up, but by gosh, she’s here analyzing the heck out of politics with her inimitable New York accent (Lee loves her podcast).

This memoir covers a pretty crappy year in her life, during which she spent any time not dealing with sickness or death of those around her mulling over the truly baffling history of her relationship with her mother, Erica Jong, author of semi-autobiographical books that were shocking in their time (Fear of Flying, etc.). Jong-Fast spends many pages going over how famous, talented, and interesting her mother was or wasn’t. Mostly, Jong-Fast believes she wasn’t any of those things.

What I found most interesting about this book was that although we have much in common mother-wise, I really had a hard time emphasizing with Jong-Fast. I think I like her, but her negative attitude towards herself got under my skin. I can’t tell you how many times she says she’s a bad daughter or how insistent she is that Jong is a bad mother. She is unable to give either her mother or herself the benefit of the doubt other than a few token attempts.

I guess I’d hoped that all the AA meetings she’s been at would have helped Jong-Fast be kinder to herself, but here she is, still berating herself for not making her mother happy. Sigh.

Yes, Jong was not your average mother. I don’t think she could have been, because other than her final husband, she really only liked or was interested in herself. I honestly can see how her daughter would end up unable to love her like other daughters love their mothers. They both have tried their best, for who they are.

Boundaries. Yeah. They both have problems with boundaries. Jong can’t separate her consciousness from her unconscious self, and Jong-Fast can’t let herself stop trying to get in there with her mom.

Who am I, a therapist? No. So I will stop. Everyone in the book has a therapist of their own anyway, right down the block, like every other service they need. New York is so foreign to me!

So…how to conclude this? The people in this memoir are fascinating and (to me) not like people I know. They live in a world new to me and have experiences unlike mine. Quite educational! And you will certainly find Jong-Fast to be a fascinating human. I just can’t quite figure out the moral to the story unless it’s that you never do know your parents and you certainly can’t fix that when they have dementia.

Cheerful stuff it is not. Well written, though!

Suna’s Longest Day

Today was quite a slog, but not without its highlights. I have not been sleeping well for a few days, so 6am came quite early. Sigh, as hard as I try not to turn other people’s issues around and blame myself, it sometimes happens, especially when I’ve messed something up. Hence, little sleep.

But it was worth getting up early to make it to an 8am horse lesson with sleepy Apache. He was feeling a bit better today, plus he had some excellent entertainment in the form of two curious foals who shared the training arena with us. Those babies have lost all their shyness and found Apache fascinating.

He did a great job playing the patient but grumpy uncle role. The filly just marched right up to him and said HI. She only left when he snorted at her. The colt, who has been less brazen in the past really wanted to be Apache’s buddy.

Both foals did that cute mouth snapping they do to show they mean no harm, but the little guy did try to taste Apache’s mouth and substantial hindquarters.

Tarrin road Apache a bit to work on his turning and the little guy followed them like he wanted to do some work, too.

His mom, who’s trying to recover from a rough patch, kept telling him to stop, but it really didn’t work. That’s okay, it was great practice for Apache (and me) to focus with lots of cute distractions.

All that circling and baby stuff wore me out. Gotta pee.

We made it home in time for me to shower before work started. That’s good, because things did not let up for the rest of the day. Finally, at 7:30pm I was able to leave my desk. Whew. It’s a good thing I’m so peppy for an old gal. I wasn’t even phased to walk into the chicken coop in time to see a turkey egg going down a rat snake’s throat.

Tomorrow I hope to have a book report for you!

More Rain

Another front blew in and once again hit hardest southwest of here. We got over an inch of rain, but it just raised the water level in the ponds.

My heart goes out to all the people who just lived through horrific flooding and are seeing it again nearby. There has to be a lot of PTSD in this part of the world right now. And first responders must be stretched to their limits.

That puts my personal hurts into perspective.

Anyway, enjoy some interesting insects with fun names that I saw today.

Texas Eyed Click Beetle *Alaus lusciosus*

Drew Makes a New Friend

A quick note about some fun we had today. My neighbor Vicki is looking for an energetic horse to ride, since she hasn’t had a horse in some time. Today she came over to meet Drew, who was quite happy to meet a new human.

He was a good boy and came running when called and walked up to be haltered. Of course, he showed Vicki his pushy side, but she handled it just fine. We groomed him all up and I did some ground work to show what he can do. He was extra perky, having not worked in a while, and really seemed to enjoy himself.

It was a very positive first meeting! She’s hoping to lease Drew and do lessons on him.

Later in the afternoon, Vicki came to watch my lesson on Apache, which was good for all of us. We hadn’t had a lesson in a while, and not much practice thanks to the rain and my job’s hours. But we learned through his stiffness and had a good time. I’m glad Vicki got a chance to see a lesson before she has hers with Drew next week.

Hoping some fun times are ahead. I need encouraging horse experiences! And Apache needs more exercise with all this green grass around.

DMV Blues

I’m sitting in the driver’s license office in scenic Hearne, Texas. It’s in a weird spot in the westernmost part of the town, making it only 25 minutes from my house. It’s really an odd spot, right next to the remnants of a POW camp for Germans from World War II. You can see the old watch tower and building foundations right outside the driver’s license office.

And the inside of the building is so quiet. They make you get appointments and you can only check in a half hour before yours. There’s one person ahead of me and I can tell he’s all confused, so I’ll be here a while.

And who knows if I’ll succeed in my own mission to replace my stolen or lost license. It was freshly renewed, so you’d think they’d just replace it. But, no, I hadn’t taken a photo of my newest one, and there’s a secret number that changed with the renewal, so without it I couldn’t simply do it online.

Because I live in Texas and they think everyone is trying to sneak into this paradise on earth, I’m worried I don’t have enough ID. I even ordered a copy of my Social Security card in case my passport wasn’t enough. I have proof of insurance and pieces of mail addressed to me just in case they don’t believe I live in my house. The only thing I don’t have is a copy of my birth certificate, which is in a safe deposit box in Austin.

It’s really odd to need all this, when they believed I was me in March and renewed my license. I will update this post when I succeed or fail!

Hooray! My appointment is over and it couldn’t have been more pleasant. All I needed was my passport. And of course, this being rural Texas, the clerk and I quickly determined who we knew in common and had a nice chat about our common interests. You just can’t beat this aspect of living in a connected small community. There is much good in this area!

The only negative was that I didn’t realize I’d need a new photo. I have pink hair. Oops. Luckily I had pulled it back. That, however, makes me look like my father. Oh well, at least I have a temporary license and will have a real one soon, and they believed who I was!

On my way out, I drove by Camp Hearne, since I’d been meaning to do that for many years. It’s hard to believe they brought Germans here. Interesting historical tidbit.

Vibes, Prayers, and Intent

Two dear friends had surgery today. These women have given me great support, encouragement, and caring in the many years I’ve known them. They are two of the most thoughtful and loving people I’ve ever met, so naturally they were in my thoughts today.

I told my husband how relieved I was when I heard they were both home and starting the next phases of recovery. He probably thinks I’m a bit bonkers for caring about so many of my old colleagues from the nonprofit years, but we went through so much together. I owe them my loyalty as so many have been so good to me.

The way I thought about my friends all day made me muse about how handy it would be if I had some sky dude to pray to. But even when I tried to pray as a child, I always thought God would get more of a feeling than my laundry list of specific entreaties. Nonetheless I find myself doing my pagan Buddhist version of sending out Lovingkindness aimed toward the West Coast of North America, where my friends are. I just feel it in my bones that positive intent has an effect on us.

No doubt humans have an instinctual drive to try to make things better for friends and family. And for all I know the vibes I send out may help. They help me, at least, to feel connected. I’ve heard that people recover better when they know others are cheering them on, but I’m not sure. I can hope!

Perhaps if folks spent more time sending positive energy and good intent out and less time blaming others for sickness, natural disasters, and all that, we’d start to think and behave differently. To make the world better takes more than thoughts and prayers, of course, but if it leads to action, maybe humanity could slow the downward spiral we and our planet are in.

I’m off to beam out healing vibes now. Good night.

Mushrooms and sun, we had a break from rain.

Thankful for Diversion

It’s a good thing my new consulting position cropped up. Getting immersed in creating quality documentation this week has been very helpful in keeping me from dwelling on how the natural disasters keep coming more and more often.

I’ve been able to concentrate so hard on enjoying my work that time seems to speed by. I’m really feeling like a part of the team, plus my input is solicited and seems appreciated. I’ll enjoy this as long as it lasts!

I think you can tell that all the vegetation was sparkling this morning. Cheerful.

I do want to be there to listen to folks who need to talk through their sadness and feelings, though, and I feel more able to empathize and provide support (and receive it) having given my mind a break.

Our creek spilled its banks overnight, though we’ve not had as much rain as most areas nearby.

We’re in for a lot of weird nature stuff, I’m afraid. It does serve as a reminder to live well and love hard. Speaking of love, here’s a salute to my many friends working right now to kick some medical challenges away from their lives. Your healing vibes are on their way!

Penney wanted to tell you that Lee strung lights in the porch.

Tough Times Together

I’m just not able to say much right now. The loss of lives and livelihoods near me in Texas is heart wrenching and has affected nearly everyone I know directly or indirectly. The whole state is in shock, because the campers and other visitors were from all over the state. It’s really too hard to talk about right now.

This is Alfred informing me that the weather is bad.

I’m grateful for the first responders and trained volunteers from our county and nearby who went to help with flooding that wasn’t on the news, but was still bad. It always impresses me how these highly trained folks just go wherever they’re needed, even to other states or countries. They’re needed with so much bad weather here and in North Carolina, not to mention the fires in the Navajo Nation.

Here we just had a reasonable amount of rain, though lightning hit a tree near the horse pasture. Horses are ok. I immersed myself in work today, which was helpful. I guess I’m also grateful for having a good challenge to occupy my mind.

I’m also grateful for pets, even skittish ones.

Take care of yourselves. Hugs to all of you dealing with challenges. I haven’t forgotten you. We are in this together.