The Hermits' Rest

Dang You, Musky Satellites

You can certainly get accustomed to your technology. When it fails, your day can go downhill fast. That was my experience when my deal with the Devil, otherwise known as a subscription to the Musky StarLink Satellite Connectivity Godsend. When it’s good, it’s our link to the world. When it’s bad, wow, you feel disconnected!

StarLink went down in the middle of my work day. It did not help that my backup plan, connecting to my phone hotspot, was unavailable. AT&T was displaying SOS. Yup. The phone was out of commission, too. I was hosed.

Just waiting for the vultures to start circling my dead connectivity.

It’s hard to tell your coworkers why you’re not at meetings when your only option is to send them a letter, ya know? But, it’s not common and the system is mostly reliable. Still, Lee and I both have had fleeting thoughts about what would happen if someone attacked the satellites we rely on. Back to the olden days? Eek.

I do still write things by hand, like my bullet journal.

Anyway, StarLink came back. And I went out and rode my horse in the intense heat and sweated all that paranoia off!

Tarot card of the day

Man, this new practice of drawing a card a day after many years without it is very different. The thing that’s taking some getting used to is how darned encouraging the cards are so far. Today? 9 of Pentacles.

This card is about having all you need (in material things) and feeling content. That’s exactly how I’ve been feeling with regard to my physical situation these days. I can’t imagine having a more pleasant and supportive setup in my life, designed to keep me mentally healthy and stable no matter what else is going on.

The 9 of Pentacles reminds me of how kind my family has been to provide this safe haven at the Hermits’ Rest. I have my animals, my pool, the porch, my books, and all that yarn. Material things aren’t necessary, but for some of us they provide comfort, security, and stability when everything around us is unstable.

Hmm. Lots to think about today.

Maybe I’m Not Cut Out for This

Yesterday I worked ten hours and had eight meetings, nearly all of which were challenging and some of which were stressful. Yow. I was truly wiped out at the end of the day, but managed stay online another half hour for my tarot group. My ears hurt from wearing headphones all day!

I wished I was on the porch with all the new pillows and cushions.

It has taken me all day today to recover from yesterday. Luckily today I had some nice writing to do, and lunch to enjoy, which helped. And a friend dropped by after work, which was a good surprise.

Drew and I felt similarly yesterday afternoon.

Never fear, I’m still loving my consulting job and the people I’m working with, but it’s a real job so of course there are challenges! I’m just disappointed that I didn’t recover as quickly as I’d like to have. It makes me feel my age. Ugh. I’ll have to figure out a way to ration my energy better. I want to contribute!

This is my bucolic photo of behind the house for Robert.

I spent as much time today as I could meditating and planning how to care for my energy and brain so I can be productive.

See how perky I looked with my official iNaturalist shirt and cicada earrings?

Naturally, hanging out with birds helped me clear my mind. There were so many today, which was great fun. Red-eyed Vireos were everywhere making their weird sounds, as were Great Crested Flycatchers, and not fake Mockingbird ones, either. Just identifying what was flying while I was floating in the pool around sunset was enough to bring me back to my center.

This bird sighting made me chuckle. The Great Egret looks fascinated by the cow’s rear.

I’m sure glad I live here in the peace and quiet (mostly; tonight they’re harvesting Milo or something across the road, which entails big machines, shiny lights, and hubbub.) That’s just once or twice a year, though.

Carlton would like me to go to sleep! Okay!

Tarot cards of the day

Yesterday my card was the Teacher or Hierophant. I like this image of a wise person learning in different ways. It’s better than the mean institutional guy in Robin Wood. Plus it has a Great Blue Heron!

The card was a great choice, since the spread my tarot friends and I did last night was about messengers and the lessons they had for us. I was encouraged to keep going in my new endeavors. Also I had to laugh when I drew the 3 of Cups as one of the messages, because it had happy, playful otters on it!

Today’s card was The Sun, which I forgot to photograph. It’s very summery and happy in the Gaian deck. To me it felt like celebrating that I am handling what comes my way with positivity, even through some painful times of change.

This is Benebell Wen’s image. I’ll replace it tomorrow when I go downstairs.

Repost: You Know They’re Here, but They Are Hard to See

This is not Déjà vu.

I’m sharing what I wrote up this morning on the Master Naturalist chapter blog. I think you’ll enjoy it, too.

Posted on July 21, 2025by Sue Ann (Suna) Kendall

Those of us in and around Milam County, Texas know there are more native mammals out in our area besides deer, cottontails, raccoons, opossums, and armadillos. But many aren’t easy to spot. I’ve never seen a porcupine, for example, but I know they’re out there. Occasionally we will spot coyotes, bobcats, or (very rarely) mountain lions. The most fun mammals we look for, though, are beavers and river otters.

A likely sighting site, Walker’s Creek bridge on County Road 140, featuring: flood debris.

This morning I was doing my daily walk to the bridge and back, dreading the inevitable scattering of annoyed vultures (today both Black and Turkey) who have been patiently working on what appeared to be a deceased Holstein steer, which must have come a long way, since we have no Holstein cattle nearby. Cow mercifully not shown.

Sure enough, I scared the giant birds off. Then I noticed a head larger than that of a turtle or snake in the creek. Ooh! A mammal! I was instantly ready to snap a photo, figuring it would see me and exit.

Sure enough, something brown and wet was exiting. Was it a beaver or an otter? I was ready to verify by checking its tail.

Yay! It was a river otter! How fortunate I was to see this water mammal! I’ve seen two swimming together here a few years ago, and one crossing our field after a big rain. That was very cute.

I didn’t take too many more photos, because I was enjoying the moment. But I was very happy to finally document one on iNaturalist!

River otters are also called common otters (Lontra canadensis). As their scientific name suggests, they are found all over North America, except for a swath of territory in the center of the country.

They love to eat fish, crayfish, and turtles, but will also eat other small animals. They aren’t a danger unless you own a fish farm, which would lead to happy otters. River otters also love to play, which makes them very popular in zoos.

I’m glad we still have some otters here in Milam County, because they’re a sign of healthy waterways. I guess Walker’s Creek is pretty good other than pooping and dying cattle.

I’m still looking for a beaver, though I’ve seen evidence at a fellow Master Naturalist’s property nearby.

Bonus observations:

I saw a Northern Cardinal eating away at the berries of a nettle-leaf noseburn vine. more fell to the ground than went in.
Yesterday I was swimming when I saw a small bird bathing in the shallow “beach” end of our pool. I figure it was a House Sparrow, but her breast was yellowish. Then she shook her wings. She was a Painted Bunting! I’d never seen one at the pool before!
Also yesterday I heard a Summer Tanager, and something chirped back. It was the female, for once not hiding. I’m always impressed with myself if I can ID a female bird of a species with drab females.

Nettleleaf noseburn *Tragia urticifolia –* photo by Sue Ann Kendall

Female Painted Bunting Passerina ciris – photo by Lloyd Davis

Female Summer Tanager *Piranga Rubra* – photo by Don Danko

Tarot Card of the Day

Today I drew a great card for the topic of this blog, the Child of Air (page of Swords). It’s about having the enthusiasm of a curious child who is in awe of nature and the world around them. In the Gaian deck, she is entranced by butterflies, an air allusion.

I bet she’d have been as excited as I was about encountering an otter in the wild!

The Slug of Exhaustion

The title is my weak analogy to yesterday’s blog title, The Salmon of Knowledge. I was pretty sluggish today after all yesterday’s exercise, though I ended up with almost as much exercise today, thanks to swimming in circles around the pool and vigorously winding yarn into ball, which counts.

Of course, I spent time in nature. Hope these Mockingbird babies make it.

It’s healthy to take a day off from being busy, though, so I gave myself permission to sit on the porch, watch documentaries on octopi, and enjoy food Kathleen made. The porch is getting even more relaxing. Two of my cushions arrived, and now lying on the couch is as comfortable as my bed.

Lee says the pillows are too loud. I say they pull together the trim, couch, and blue chair colors. Wait until he sees the outdoor rug…

Being the Slug of Exhaustion today also allowed me to ignore anything stressful that I possibly could. I just looked at my surroundings and enjoyed them, enjoyed the family, and will take the stress back up tomorrow.

Since I have nothing deep to say, let me recommend the Billy Joel documentary, And So It Goes, part 1 of which just came out. This part covers the years I really liked, the 70s, when he was quite amazing to see live. You end up really liking his first wife.

Oh, here’s something exciting. The unused RV that had been next to my tack room went away today. It will be easier to get to my square bales of hay that way. It looks all color-coordinated now!

Tarot card of the day

Today I pulled the Explorer (knight) of Water (cups). It’s a pretty darned happy card, hinting I’m in a good place, emotionally today, able to navigate the waves of feelings smoothly. It also may indicate a new emotional path, sort of like yesterday’s 10 of Water.

We will see. As I grow more Hermit-like in my self preservation mode, I’ll be interested to see if anything manages to stir me in new emotional directions other than inward!

The Salmon of Knowledge

I said I’d draw a card from my new deck daily for a while. The one I drew today sure fit! It was the Ace of Water (cups), and it has my favorite Celtic symbol, the salmon of knowledge.

Yesterday I drew the 10, which focuses on the return home. The Ace is about starting a new path to your heart’s desire. Spot on!

Today my neighbor, Vicki, and I had our first lessons together with Apache and Drew. I know for her it felt like restarting her desire to work with horses, and for Drew, it was a start working with a new human.

Drew discovers he has to do what Vicki says.

We all ended up very tired after many hours in the sun, but we were happy. Drew was happy to be back at work, especially since he’s so tubby he can’t even buck properly when he can’t canter right. There’s work to be done!

Apache is doing better, too, and everyone survived the trailer experience with Vicki’s vehicle. I look forward to finding out what’s next on this journey. May the salmon grant us emotional fulfillment and knowledge!

Book Report: Gaian Tarot

I haven’t been buying many tarot decks in the past few years. I’ve been happy with my favorite old friends, mostly Robin Wood. But last month I was intrigued by a deck my tarot friend Cat Dancing was using. I liked the nature images on the cards and the artistry of Joanna Powell Colbert, the author of The Gaian Tarot: Healing the Earth, Healing Ourselves (2nd edition, 2025).

I’d heard of Colbert before, as she’s well known in the community, and I knew she was well respected, but I never got around to getting the earlier edition of this deck and book. I’m glad I was encouraged to do so!

I always like it when the book accompanying a deck has original insights and explanations of why each card depicts its components, and Colbert doesn’t disappoint. She weaves her nature themes skillfully through the traditional Fool’s Journey, court, and pip cards, creating a deck you can easily read from but gain new insights as well. I’m not finished reading all the text for each card, but appreciate that she gives a description, a positive and negative interpretation, and helpful keywords for each card. Her perspective is wise and novel enough to make me think differently about familiar archetypes.

This archetype of transformation showed up today, a roseate skimmer

I admit that any deck with salmon of knowledge and holy wells in it makes me happy. That’s my little Cups suit bias. I realize this makes no sense to most readers. Indulge me.

So this evening I spent some time breaking in the cards, which have lovely gold edges. They are somewhat less stiff now. Then, because I’m having some difficulty dealing with some interpersonal challenges, I did a simple three-card reading.

The past was 5 of Air (swords). Here eagles are squabbling, birds and sky representing air. There is some squabbling going on around me, and it feels like some parties have their talons out. I was glad to see this in the past—maybe it will settle down soon.

The present was the 4 of Earth (pentacles) with squirrels gathering up nuts for the winter. I like Colbert’s interpretation of this card as meaning to gather resources for the future, rather than the greed and miserliness Robin Wood depicts, which I always thought was more the dark side of the card. Anyway, right now I am actually saving up for the future with this short-term job. I’m reminded not to let myself get drawn into work drama. I’m there to help out and give myself a nest egg. But I’ll remember to share!

The future card is the 10 of Water (cups). Here we have the salmon! The Gaian card depicts their lifecycle, ending with their return home to die. Here I prefer Wood’s happy family gathered together. But both are about gathering at home, a completion of a cycle, and a happy one at that. I’m not sure what this portends for my future, though I have been thinking about how I have all I need now, and that I’m happy with those close to me—nice to think it will continue after the squabbling and saving.

Wake up or the archetypal vultures of decay will get you! No snoozing at my tarot babble!

Ha. I used to blog my tarot readings all the time. It’s been so long most readers are probably shaking their heads. Maybe I’ll do a card of the day again for a while, as I get used to this deck.

Or I’ll just gaze at clouds and see what I can gather from them.

Remember, you all, I use tarot to help me see things in a different light, to reach into areas I might be inattentive to, and to keep me centered. It’s a tool. Use the tools that work for you as we navigate these unprecedented times.

Very Small Pasture Miracles

Today I was distracted by concern for two people I care about who weren’t doing very well. It’s always a relief to have some good little bonuses to balance out your concerns. In the meantime, send out those healing vibes into the Universe!

Both of my little miracles happened when I was out doing my daily sauna…I mean working with horses. First, Apache had a great attitude on the ground and in the saddle, for the most part—he just gave me his opinion for a little bit, then literally sighed and started doing what I asked. After all the stopping, starting, circling, and side passing was done, I decided to see if he’d do any better on the trails Lee has mowed for us (Drew loves them).

Imagine my shock when I realized we’d been moseying along the paths calmly and steadily with no sudden jerking to eat grass or wheeling around to try to go back! He was just fine the entire time we were out. A horsie miracle.

The second miracle I attribute partially to my skills. I was taking Apache’s bridle off so we could head to the trailer to unsaddle. He was very interested in the lush long grass in the playground area, the only part of our property Lee hasn’t hit with the lawn mower. I was asking him to pick up his head, when I saw my shoes and jeans were covered in fire ants. Not just a few, a lot. Usually it’s Apache who steps in them! Here’s the miracle: I managed to brush all the ants off and ended up with only one bite! That’s unbelievable!

Kathleen, who has very bad luck with bites, is probably shaking her head at my luck. Here’s something pretty for her and you.

Not a miracle: the fact that both Apache and I were as wet as if we’d been swimming by the time we were done. It’s weird that the rest of the week’s horse work didn’t affect any of us that much!

Hot (but not that hot) Apache from earlier this week, thinking he had to pee.

The Little Animal Things

Still a busy busy week at work and home. Luckily, being occupied with work keeps me from other thoughts. Even better, I’ve got all these animals to keep my “free” time not very free.

I love going out on breaks to care for the hens and check on the horses. Dusty always sticks his head in my hands for love.

And working to keep Apache feeling good and getting Drew back into work is a great distraction. Droodles is getting lots of reminders that crazy canter is not his goal. But he’s awfully good walking on Lee’s new trails.

And then the dogs. Even when I’m feeling the jitters over things I can’t control, they make me and Lee laugh.

And thanks to all of you who share your pets, birds, and kids on social media—it doesn’t remove serious concerns but it reminds me of what’s good.

Book Report: How to Lose Your Mother

Resilience. That’s the first concept that comes to my mind when I think about Molly Jong-Fast, the author of How to Lose Your Mother: A Daughter’s Memoir (2025). To have made it to adulthood as a functioning human being after experiencing her childhood defines resilience. Some people wouldn’t have made it. Sure, Jong-Fast is a bit messed up, but by gosh, she’s here analyzing the heck out of politics with her inimitable New York accent (Lee loves her podcast).

This memoir covers a pretty crappy year in her life, during which she spent any time not dealing with sickness or death of those around her mulling over the truly baffling history of her relationship with her mother, Erica Jong, author of semi-autobiographical books that were shocking in their time (Fear of Flying, etc.). Jong-Fast spends many pages going over how famous, talented, and interesting her mother was or wasn’t. Mostly, Jong-Fast believes she wasn’t any of those things.

What I found most interesting about this book was that although we have much in common mother-wise, I really had a hard time emphasizing with Jong-Fast. I think I like her, but her negative attitude towards herself got under my skin. I can’t tell you how many times she says she’s a bad daughter or how insistent she is that Jong is a bad mother. She is unable to give either her mother or herself the benefit of the doubt other than a few token attempts.

I guess I’d hoped that all the AA meetings she’s been at would have helped Jong-Fast be kinder to herself, but here she is, still berating herself for not making her mother happy. Sigh.

Yes, Jong was not your average mother. I don’t think she could have been, because other than her final husband, she really only liked or was interested in herself. I honestly can see how her daughter would end up unable to love her like other daughters love their mothers. They both have tried their best, for who they are.

Boundaries. Yeah. They both have problems with boundaries. Jong can’t separate her consciousness from her unconscious self, and Jong-Fast can’t let herself stop trying to get in there with her mom.

Who am I, a therapist? No. So I will stop. Everyone in the book has a therapist of their own anyway, right down the block, like every other service they need. New York is so foreign to me!

So…how to conclude this? The people in this memoir are fascinating and (to me) not like people I know. They live in a world new to me and have experiences unlike mine. Quite educational! And you will certainly find Jong-Fast to be a fascinating human. I just can’t quite figure out the moral to the story unless it’s that you never do know your parents and you certainly can’t fix that when they have dementia.

Cheerful stuff it is not. Well written, though!

Suna’s Longest Day

Today was quite a slog, but not without its highlights. I have not been sleeping well for a few days, so 6am came quite early. Sigh, as hard as I try not to turn other people’s issues around and blame myself, it sometimes happens, especially when I’ve messed something up. Hence, little sleep.

But it was worth getting up early to make it to an 8am horse lesson with sleepy Apache. He was feeling a bit better today, plus he had some excellent entertainment in the form of two curious foals who shared the training arena with us. Those babies have lost all their shyness and found Apache fascinating.

He did a great job playing the patient but grumpy uncle role. The filly just marched right up to him and said HI. She only left when he snorted at her. The colt, who has been less brazen in the past really wanted to be Apache’s buddy.

Both foals did that cute mouth snapping they do to show they mean no harm, but the little guy did try to taste Apache’s mouth and substantial hindquarters.

Tarrin road Apache a bit to work on his turning and the little guy followed them like he wanted to do some work, too.

His mom, who’s trying to recover from a rough patch, kept telling him to stop, but it really didn’t work. That’s okay, it was great practice for Apache (and me) to focus with lots of cute distractions.

All that circling and baby stuff wore me out. Gotta pee.

We made it home in time for me to shower before work started. That’s good, because things did not let up for the rest of the day. Finally, at 7:30pm I was able to leave my desk. Whew. It’s a good thing I’m so peppy for an old gal. I wasn’t even phased to walk into the chicken coop in time to see a turkey egg going down a rat snake’s throat.

Tomorrow I hope to have a book report for you!