work – Page 6 – The Hermits' Rest

A Dream Job That’s a Walk in the Woods

What’s your dream job?

My dream job has changed over the years. If money were no object, I’d teach knitting and crochet part time. I don’t want to be a famous knitting guru like some of my friends; I just want to bring the joy of a lifetime pastime to others. It’s so rewarding.

The temperature blanket for this year is so fun and has purple in it! Cool. Literally.

Nowadays, though, I am getting so much from my time out in nature that it would be a dream job to be a park interpreter. I could lead walks and hikes that show folks how ecosystems work, what plants and animals there are in different habitats, and how to identify what they see, hear, smell, and touch.

I could lead a hike here and show folks all the future wildflowers in midwinter.

I could also teach hiking etiquette. Like, don’t bellow at the top of your lungs and sing rock songs so loud you scare all the woodland creatures for miles, which is what the only other hikers I saw today did. Ugh.

Anyway, we’re enjoying a very peaceful time at Cooper Lake State Park. We are the only people here who don’t work here. It’s glorious and peaceful, probably the quietest state park we’ve been at. Someone was shooting something somewhere nearby and it was SO loud with no other noise around.

It was really cold last night here in northeast Texas, down to 20°. We got in late, and the heater just couldn’t cope. It got down to 58° inside, but I slept so well. Quiet. Once the sun came out, the heater coped and tonight it’s fine.

Because it was sunny and there was no whipping gale wind, it actually wasn’t too bad outside, and I was able to go on a couple of nice walks around this huge lake and the hardwood forest around it.

There were ducks, herons, a cormorant, gulls, greater yellowlegs, belted kingfishers, and more on the lake shore.

The bird highlight for me was getting to see a golden-crowned kinglet close enough to see that little crown. Theirs are way easier to see than ruby crowned.

Woodland birds included lots of crows, blue jays, cardinals, robins, and woodpeckers. The most popular tiny bird was the yellow-rumped warbler, but there were plenty of titmice, wrens, chickadees, and sparrows. Two nuthatches also showed up. Lots of singing and flitting to enjoy. Who cares about the cold!

You could see all the wildflowers and grasses in their winter resting states. There were colorful leaves and berries if you looked carefully, though. I found it fun to try to figure out what the dried flowers and bare trees were. I’ll see how well I did when I put them in iNaturalist.

What didn’t I see? Insects. Not one butterfly showed up. No bees or flies. They’ll be back soon as it warms up again. The little insect-eating birds like phoebes and mockingbirds were busy with other food in the meantime.

I could do this observation stuff for a living with other people! However, wow, it’s nice to do it alone. Traveling without the annoyance of other humans sure is pleasant. I prefer this to cities.

To wrap it up, here are some fun pictures of tracks I found along the lakeshore. There are herons, ducks, little birds, raccoons, and a canine. I didn’t see deer tracks, but I did see deer, so of course they are here!

Some Things Were Good in 2023

Sure, the past few years have had their challenges. However, there’s lots to be happy about, too. Let’s take a moment to appreciate what went well. While I’m sharing a few things, you can be thinking of yours.

I just want to start by being asap and declaring that how much better my relationship with my spouse is now. We’ve hit a really good spot. The time we’ve spent out camping and hiking has been a real highlight of the year.

Next on my list of things that were positive has to be my growth with my horse relationships. Drew and I have been in and off, but the last couple of weeks have been so much improved. He’s such a sweet horse. Today he even let me put his bridle on without complaining. It helps that he doesn’t have a headache!

I took him to the yummy grass as a reward today.

Apache and I have had some amazing moments, too, and I’m focusing on them while his foot recovers from the abscess and he gets used to his daily medication. He still acts stoned much of the time. But our relationship is so much better than ever. That’s what counts.

Learning to listen to bird calls thanks to the Merlin Bird ID app has greatly added to my quality of life. I treasure my bird watching and listening time! Today was a WOW bird time. There were hooded mergansers in the bottom pond today! So glad I had my binoculars, because I’d have missed them otherwise.

I saw the ducks when trying to watch the egret catch fish. They look like blobs in the photo.

The ducks didn’t even come up as a possibility in Merlin, but they’re rather unmistakable.

I wrote up all the birds I saw or heard here at the ranch this month. There were 71!

That doesn’t count anything I saw in Milano or Canyon Lake!

I’ll be interested to track bird numbers each month next year.

Other good things? I’ve enjoyed my work, which is always a plus. The Red House on Fannin has been profitable as a short-term rental. I’ve only had a few issues with depression and anxiety. My physical health has been really good, too.

I’m like a tree adding strong new rings. And my hollow spots hide surprises.

I have become comfortable in my friendships and community relationships here in Cameron, too. It’s nice to have a bit of a social life with meaningful connections in person. It’s community and connection with friends and family that will help deal with the inevitable challenges in 2024.

Here’s my friend’s leg, with two dogs asking for attention. All part of the community!

There’s always something out there to be grateful for!

Hard Decisions That Turn Out OK

What’s the hardest decision you’ve ever had to make? Why?

You ask that, do you? I agonized a very this for about three years, during which time my mother passed away followed immediately by a breakup with the love of my life that was all my fault, followed by a serious of incredibly stupid relationship decisions and total failure at my career path. 1984-87 really stunk.

Here comes the brutal honesty for which I’m noted, for better or worse.

I’d say this was the period in my life when I realized that, no, I wasn’t the brilliant, nice, ethically consistent person I thought I was. That’s hard. I realized just how mentally screwed up I was in my drive to be perfect and that I was an emotional vampire who confused sex with love. Everyone has to realize they’re imperfect eventually (if they’re honest with themselves).

Worse, I ended up unable to stomach being an academic with all the drama, pressure, and competition. It just wasn’t what I’d hoped it was and I wasn’t actually very good at it.

So I decided to leave my career path and all the people I cared about at the university and do something else. I felt like a failure and that I’d let my family and friends down. That was hard. Acknowledging my inadequacy was hard. Admitting I was a bad partner was hard. Owning up to my anxiety and past trauma was very hard.

But no one really cared very much about my inner turmoil. They just wanted to see me stable, happier, and more positive. I ended up free of expectations and obligations and could move forward to use all I’d learned in a perfectly good career. I learned to love in a positive way. It was OK.

Oh look I’m crocheting something. It’s a hot pad in thermal stitch.

I make decisions much faster now. I’ve learned that whatever I do will be fine. I’ll learn the lessons I need to learn and keep putting one foot ahead of the other. Today is what matters and I want more peaceful, fulfilling days than stressful ones.

Daily Bird

I enjoyed a group of Harris’s sparrows today. I realize I’ve featured a lot of sparrows but we have eight kinds here! I heard these guys by the brush pile this morning, which pleased me because there was so much traffic on our road due to an accident that it was hard to hear birds in front of the house.

Harris’s sparrows make a less melodic sound than some of the others, more like very loud, low barks. It’s hard to decide how to describe it. But they were chatty and friendly today.

A pair of them started out in the honey locust, then got on the ground quite close to me, so I could easily see their interesting black head and chest markings. They’re the most distinctive ones, for sure.

By the way, the house wren and Carolina wren are loudly lobbying to be featured, so I’ll get something else soon. In the other hand, I’ve seen Mexican eagles (caracaras) doing mating dances in the sky twice this week. They do some loud wing flapping! So, they’re candidates. More to come.

In Three Years?

What will your life be like in three years?

I’m pessimistic about life in three years, and it creeps into my nightmares.

I will probably stop working in Corporate America by then. I hope there’s still Social Security.

I’m three years I’ll still find tiny baby insects cute.

We may have to go somewhere we feel safer. Texas elected officials make policies that worry me, as someone who’s not an evangelical Christian white guy.

I’m not sure there will be places not run by extremist dictators in three years to go to.

And it will be hot and dry.

Hope I can still have horses. Though at the moment mine are getting on my last nerve. I’m addition to each being covered by burs, there’s this.

Drew broke the water line to the trough. It flew 20 feet. Drew then thought it was a snake and huffed at it.

All the people turning on each other with intolerance and cruelty messes with my mind. I think that’s actually a reasonable response.

Oh, I’ll probably just keep trying to be kind and work for peace in my own way. Mother Nature will still be here. Love will be here. They both may just be harder to find.

International Day of Peaceful Rationality

Invent a holiday! Explain how and why everyone should celebrate.

Today’s prompt made me think, especially in light of all my efforts at bringing peace into my soul the past few days. I’d love a holiday that encourages people to sit back and drop their antagonistic thoughts toward “the other” for a day and work together to create sensible, rational solutions to the issues that conspire to keep all of us from having the chance to live meaningful, productive lives.

I saw a belted kingfisher and a bunch of fish jumping today!

I predict my holiday could lead to arguments over the meaning of peace and the relevance of rationality. But I can dream, can’t I?

Some of us live in peace and safety, like this little buck. Most of us live in a world full of deer feeders fattening us up to feed someone else.

I’m cynical today. Sometimes the news makes you feel even less optimistic than others. And this is after hiding in the woods for a few days. I’m still in the woods, but it was a long work day. I’m happy my office setup works so well. It’s really freeing to be able to work anywhere you have bandwidth.

I’m ready to get home and take care of the animals myself. I hope Apache’s new meds arrived and will work out. I hope humans work things out, too, but I’m betting on the horse.

What’s your holiday?

A Different Me

What alternative career paths have you considered or are interested in?

Here’s a prompt I was interested in. I was really stuck on a career path until I was about 26 and realized I didn’t want to write about little syllables at the ends of Japanese words the rest of my life. But I loved the teaching of linguistics. I love teaching anything.

Todays illustrations are cool cloud formations from today.

The first path I should have considered was getting a degree in music education so I could teach choral music and sing in choruses. That seems more likely than making a living in folk-rock.

Another path would have been to switch my college major to biology once I realized how good I was at it. I could have gotten to do field research and written marginally more interesting scientific papers…or taught biology. Still, I’d get to hang out in nature for a living. But I’d have ended up specializing in maggots or something, knowing my luck.

I could have done forestry and become a park ranger? Right now that’s my vote, especially if I could ride horses in the forest.

I seriously considered a career change in mid life to work in a yarn shop and teach knitting and design patterns. I enjoy doing that still, but I’m not creative or driven enough to actually make a living at it. I sure admire my friends who do it, though.

Someday I’d like to write a book that’s got a plot. Obviously I have a lot of words in me. They just need more structure than a blog! I do write for my job, but honestly, I’d be writing every day no matter what. Maybe I’d write letters. Maybe I’d write poems or songs. Who knows? I just enjoy making sentences. That’s not a different me; the writer is the real me.

I don’t think photography is a potential career path.

So…what are your alternative careers?

Listening to Myself Talk

One of the odder things I do in my job is record myself talking about software. It’s nice and low-tech, using a fairly nice headset and inexpensive recording software (Audacity). I’m not making a fancy podcast or recording music, so this works fine.

Of course, I have to edit the recordings, which requires a lot of listening to myself talk. I’ve gotten good at just pausing when I mess up and starting again at the previous place where I paused, so no one can tell I edited the recording. You have to use the same pitch and volume to do a good job. Sometimes I don’t.

Just like sometimes my photos are dang blurry.

Over the years I’ve trained myself not to gasp before I talk, not to make clicking sounds between words, to put ending consonants at the ends of words without sounding overly precise, and to vary my pitch so people won’t fall asleep. Doing it right the first time makes the process much less tedious.

I write out a script, so I won’t forget important details, but do my best to write words I can say naturally. My love of parenthetical expressions doesn’t get to come out much in the scripts. And I keep my sentences fairly short, as much as I can with talking about computers.

The best outcome of recording training videos is that I’ve become comfortable with the sound of my own voice. Like many people, I used to cringe at recordings of myself, because it didn’t sound like my voice does in my head when I’m talking. But now I think I sound fine. It’s sorta southern, but just a bit, not like my informal voice. I’d probably cringe to hear a recording of me telling a story like I did tonight at the Master Naturalist Meeting.

My fancy recording voice is like my shadow self. It’s very bland.

The only reason I wrote this blog entry is that it’s what was passing through my mind as I was about to fall asleep from another busy day. I guess I dragged whoever reads this through my sleepy thoughts.

Drew wanted me to write about his new browband. And that his head is healing fine.

Fulfilling Work

In what ways does hard work make you feel fulfilled?

I’m not going to answer a prompt every day this month, but at the end of today, I knew the answer to this one.

Hard work that leads to growth is fulfilling to me. Work for work’s sake, well, it’s a chance to practice mindfulness at best. I can mentally go to my happy place while doing drudge work.

The work I’ve been doing the past few years with horses has been hard, really hard. It’s pushed me out of my comfort zone both mentally and physically. Horses are beautiful and smell good, but they are weird and unpredictable (even for people who know them well).

I was just chatting with a fellow student of Tarrin’s tonight, and we were commiserating about our setbacks this summer and how hard it is to regain confidence when you feel like you can’t trust your horse. We both know we will have to work hard on it, but we pointed out how many obstacles we each have overcome so far. That helps, reminders from others!

As for other kinds of hard work, like actual work and volunteer work, of course it helps if I learn and grow from it. I am fulfilled if my efforts are appreciated or help others. That’s why I like teaching people. You can see that the students have new skills or knowledge that will enrich them. Teaching knitting really exemplifies this. You give someone a lifelong hobby!

Then they can make giant year-long blankets.

My Master Naturalist work is often hard, but wow is it fulfilling to know so much about my surroundings and it’s great to be able to help others ID plants and birds or understand more about the local ecosystem.

For example, I know these rocks, which look like potatoes to me, are what’s in the soil here.

As for today, I took a long walk in the woods, got to enjoy Apache’s previous rider, Kayla, visit with him, and rode Drew around the pasture with only a little need for reassurance. (Backsliding was having trouble bridling after it went well for a few times in a row.)

Enjoy sites from the woods.

Three Jobs I’d Love

List three jobs you’d consider pursuing if money didn’t matter.

Oh good, here’s a question that I don’t have to be as careful answering as yesterday’s (thanks for the positive feedback). I know the things I’d love to do if it weren’t for that pesky needing an income thing.

Knitting Teacher. I truly loved the years I spent teaching people to knit at a yarn shop. I’ve been teaching knitting and crocheting informally most of my life, but I really got a system going there toward the end. It’s so rewarding to taking someone from being sure they’re unable to learn something straight to competency. And once you can knit, you’ve always got something to do!

Nature Interpreter. This is a real job. You share with people about the nature around them, help them learn to see things they might not have noticed, and show them the unique qualities of the place where they are. You can do it as a volunteer in some parks, but Milam County lacks State Parks. Maybe the Ranchería Grande site folks are working on that’s in this county will need interpretation.

I could show folks that they aren’t just walking through a field of weeds, but that the asters are alive with tiny fuzzy bee flies.

Backup Singer. I love(d) to sing. I like being in front, but it’s especially fun to do harmonies behind a singer. I miss performing. I miss the teamwork and cooperation of being in a band, vocal group, or chorus. And sometimes backup singers get to travel! I love staying in hotels, too!

This is the group my friend Sharon is in, the Studebakers. They take turns singing lead and harmonies.

Given a fourth choice I’d be a field worker in biology. I’d get to both be outside and explore nature AND write scientific papers! I actually do know how to do that.

Well, Sure I’m a Leader

Do you see yourself as a leader?

This was a trick question. As a former La Leche League Leader, I’m a leader forever. Ha ha. Of course, I never discuss breastfeeding unless my input is solicited. I was called an n-word too many times just for offering information that I gave up. (Think the German regime that was defeated in WWII but seems to be coming back.)

But, I do think I’m a leader, because I totally suck at being a follower. I am not good at letting other people make decisions. I’m just full of input, whether asked or not. I’m just not a good follower of orders (which is a problem sometimes, because I have a lot of rules to follow).

I like being an equal team no, a lot. It’s my favorite way to work or do projects. I like getting input, coming to consensus and figuring out each team member’s strengths and weaknesses.

When I’m put in a true leadership position, I prefer a more collaborative style. I’ve really done a lot of great projects this way and feel proud of what I’ve accomplished along with so many great teams. Sigh. My projects at La Leche League and Planview were great times and I met such fascinating people.

I probably prefer leading by example to any official position. I just hope that I do a good job. I do worry about my tendency to be bossy, especially when I’m not comfortable with how things are going. I’m still working on that.

Guess what? It rained over two inches today. It made for scary driving conditions, but didn’t flood or anything, so it’s all good. Between two showers, I went out to see hundreds of flying insects I can’t identify (they didn’t hold still for me). There were dozens of tufted titmice in a honey locust tree grabbing a bug, then going back to eat it. How charming!

Look closely and you’ll see a lot of gray birds.

There were just a LOT of birds out today. The Merlin app even heard a duck in the pond behind the woods. I’m so glad migration has started and I can see and here more types of birds. Here’s what I heard during two listening sessions (plus lark sparrows, which sing beautifully).

Birds Merlin heard. By the way, I’m fairly certain the great crested flycatcher it identifies is a scissor tail.

Here are some I’ve photographed in the last couple of days.

After the fun with birds, Lee and I jumped in my little car and drove to San Antonio, not enjoying the traffic, but enjoying the post-rain skies. We’re going to an anniversary dinner for real estate investor friends of Lee’s.

We are in an Embassy Suites hotel that’s as nice as some of the condos we go to. We have no plans for tomorrow but I think there are things to do where we are (way northwest). Sunday morning we hope to see an old friend of mine. I’m glad we’re able to go, thanks to generous dog and horse sitters.