Ranch Life – Page 23 – The Hermits' Rest

Savoring Sweet, Slow Success

When he was little, my son wanted to be instantly successful at any new thing he tried. He’d get very frustrated if he had to listen to instructions and practice. I had some of this tendency, too, and it didn’t help that I’m a quick study on most things.

Just like a Mockingbird learning new calls.

However, I’m not as talented with large motor skills as I am with fine motor skills (knitting, etc.) or mental things. I know that about myself. Because of that, once I realized I wasn’t a natural at horsemanship (way back before Tarrin), I didn’t pressure myself to improve quickly. I wish I could have, but I am who I am and Apache and Drew are who they are, so things have had to take some time.

Ya know, just like it takes a while to grow a tree.

With Drew, it’s become apparent that his issues are beyond my ability and time. I don’t love him any less, I just know that me trying to work with him isn’t a good fit. Neither of us is to blame, but it’s a hard realization.

Knowing I struggled with Drew makes the slow but steady progress I d made with Apache (and Mabel) just that much sweeter. It’s been good for us to build a strong relationship and skill set slowly over time.

I almost forget how hard it was to keep him from twirling around, how long it took to get his laminitis episodes under control, and how afraid I was to trot. Bit by bit, Tarrin has guided us towards our goals.

Her goal for us has been cantering, which has taken longer than expected, thanks to Apache starting out with a dysfunctional canter that had to be fixed with strengthening and practice. I was happy to see Tarrin able to ride him at a canter earlier this year.

Today it was my turn to do it. We had been building up from fast trotting and taking off after backing up, to get him working off his hind legs. I have gotten pretty comfortable, and like I said today, it almost feels like I know how to ride a horse.

I laugh at that idea and he has no comment.

After three days on pain medication, Apache was feeling much better than he did Tuesday (yes, two lessons this week due to scheduling issues), so he was up for a lot of running. we ended our lesson in the round pen where he was to practice going over jumps properly, I was told. Ha. Tarrin knew he’d canter if I approached the jump really fast.

I lived, though I did hold onto the saddle horn. Slow and steady success is sweet! This was our big goal ever since we started our lessons. We did it! Now to get good at it.

My goal for the rest of the week is not to talk about horses constantly. I’ll switch to wildflowers tomorrow. No surprise there.

So Far, Retiring Is Heavy on the “Tiring” Part

And that’s good, really! I just hope not all future days are quite this busy, because I’m tired! I can really come up with things to do given the opportunity. Let’s see what this hermit got up to today.

A big dog with a yummy stick is a highlight of any day.

In the morning I went to our beautiful local bakery to meet with the folks who helped Lee get his Medicare supplement so I could get mine. They are pretty funny folks, and the poor wife can get confused, but I got something reasonable from a reputable company, plus a sticky bun.

When we finished, I had an hour before my usual friends’ lunch. So, since I hadn’t talked to Anita in over a month, I dropped by her house. We had a nice chat, just our normal conversation between two people who know each other very well. I need to have relaxed conversations more. I don’t have to explain what I mean when I talk to her. She knows my biases and idiosyncrasies so dang well.

Old but good photo. Anita and I have also stuck through a lot. Still are.

After our talk, I went to lunch. It was a small group, but we had so much fun. One member shared some of her late mother’s jewelry and it was like we were little kids trying the various quirky and beautiful items on. It was so kind of her to share her mother’s taste and personality with us.

Two items I got were these incredible handmade scarf slides. Both have snakes on them. I can’t wait to wear them with my Western clothing.

After lunch, I drove out to the place my phone always thinks I live, Burlington, a very small community north of here. I went to visit with some folks who are clients of a relative of ours. We supposedly had things in common.

For example, we both like rough-leafed dogwood.

That turned out to be very true, and I had a fine time with the woman I met looking at the plants on the property where camp and are adding a storage building. We talked about birds, photography, native plants, and other similar interests. Then she asked me what I did for my job, and when I said technical writing she burst out laughing because she’s also one. Ha!

I left all the fun plants and many migrating monarchs and was able to rest a half hour or so before heading out to Tarrin’s training facility again, this time with Sara and the lovely Jhayati, who is almost two years old now.

Glamour shot. I got to groom her, and you know how I love a thick tail. Hers has gray in it, like her face. She’ll eventually be all gray.

It was a special day, so I went along to take photos of Jhayati’s first experience with saddling. So exciting for us all! Sara and Tarrin have prepared the filly very well, and as a result, she handled the saddle well.

They practiced the saddle falling off, too, to teach her to stop and look if someone or something falls off. That’s good safety! I learned a lot about how to get a horse off to a good start.

Jhayati did very well walking and trotting with the saddle on, though I think she got a bit tired.

Finally, she got to jump a little (not too much, since she is still growing). I enjoyed watching how well Sara handled her and how you could see the concentration in Jhayati’s eyes.

In the end, she even walked back to the trailer like a good princess. I was so impressed. Even the continued dust and wind didn’t phase her.

I’ll sure miss those two when they move to the new farm in Wisconsin. If you want to follow their new venture, here’s a link to the blog.

By the time I got home and did all my horse stuff, it was time for dinner. Whew. I didn’t even have the energy to crochet much! I’m pretty sure tomorrow will have fewer trips and visits.

Mabel Takes a Trip

I’ve been writing a lot about Mabel, the Thoroughbred mare that Kathleen rescued in 2021 and who I’ve been caring for and rehabilitating since. In the past few months she’s blossomed. I guess the time to regain her health both physically and mentally was just what she needed to come back and do more than eat and sleep (though she’d be happy to do that).

Look at that engaged and interested face!

So today, not only did I take Apache for a lesson, Mabel went, too!

Now, Mabel obviously had training before we got her, since she was willing to let people ride her and trailered well.

But she looked sad and was so thin (this was not too long after we got her, and she’d filled out some already.

I was interested to see what she retained and where I could help her develop stronger muscles and a stronger relationship with me. So she walked into the trailer like a champ and went to Tarrin’s. Apache was gracious.

She did not enjoy the trip and pooped everywhere and made a slippery mess. So Apache did his lesson first while Mabel neighed a lot and was agitated. Tarrin said that shouldn’t be surprising in a new space where she didn’t ask to go. Poor dear. It was also extremely windy (again), which wasn’t fun for horses or people. So much dust.

By the time it was her turn, she had settled down and we did work with her. We made lots of progress together and I have lots of things to practice with her now. She never stopped looking engaged and happy, even with some corrections needed. Tarrin said she was smart. She probably says that to all the horse owners.

Backing up was fun to work on. We will get it all figured out, I’m sure!

Apache had an excellent nap during Mabel’s lesson. He’s a bit stiff so he’s getting pain meds for a short while until the grass settles down. At least he isn’t lame!

Wake me up when it’s time to go home, says Apache.

Before we left, Tarrin fitted the black saddle Drew had been using on Mabel’s shape. She has asymmetrical shoulders. Huh. Apache’s old cinch worked fine, so I can exercise her with the saddle to build more strength up. She isn’t ready to be ridden again yet, but it shouldn’t be too long.

Saddle fitting. It’s great to have an adjustable saddle that works on all shapes and sizes! Bonus dog butt.

One more thing! When we got home, Dusty and Drew were crowding the gate wanting to greet Mabel. I guess she’s their girlfriend. It was hard to bring her in until I shooed the boys away. It was sweet.

She already stopped pulling when walking the circle. Good girl.

I hope tomorrow is less windy. I have a bunch of things to do! But for now I’m enjoying a lavender face mask to get rid of the last of the dust!

Meteorological Warm Fuzzies

After all the horse hugging yesterday, I did not expect the weather to be nice to me today, but it was! Now, it’s still windy as heck, but I guess that’s typical March coming in like a lion stuff.

I’ve been unhappy with the weather, because all the flowers are coming up late, but it turns out it’s not just here. Friends elsewhere report similar late spring plant activity. I did go wander through the property today to check for flowers coming up, and they are there, just not up as far as usual. Whew.

The weather even blew a Barn Swallow into the house when a door blew open, which I’m sure was no fun for it. Luckily it found its way back out and the house isn’t all poopy.

The day was so lovely and sunny, though, which was a gift after so many days of angry clouds and dust. Imagine my surprise when we got a severe thunderstorm warning just as I was finishing a call with my financial advisor (depressing).

Can you see green leaves forming on the trees?

I went out to feed the animals and get everything all cozy, and even had time to ride Apache before it got ominous out. The rain that came was pleasant and didn’t last too long. Afterwards I noticed the sun came out while it was still drizzling. I knew was warm fuzzy gift that would bring!

It was one of the fullest rainbows I’d seen here in a long time. It was very intense, which is hard to tell from pictures.

Little things like light refracting on water droplets can make one’s day!

But more awaited me. The nearly full moon rose and peeked over some leftover rain clouds and was so pretty I had to stop my errands to watch it.

There were no clouds in the west, so all the color you see is from the setting sun hitting the clouds.

Right now, when our horizons are quite cloudy, pausing to enjoy gifts like rainbows and sunsets can make all the difference.

And in the End…

…the love you take is equal to the love you make (Lennon/McCartney)

I re-learned this from a horse today, dear Mabel. Coincidentally, the blogging prompt today was about animals:

Which animal would you compare yourself to and why?

I have had an affinity with horses since I was a toddler, as I’ve frequently mentioned here. Even before I met my first horse, they made an impression in books and on television (I was a child when Westerns were popular, so you got to see lots of beautiful horses, and I read every horse book in the school library).

Horses always seemed to have good lives, mostly eating, hanging around with friends, and sleeping, with some running around to liven things up. That would work for me. Plus, as prey animals they look out for each other, but low rank horses get picked on by insecure bullies (a drama I often witness). That reminds me of how I ended up being very protective of friends and team members after dealing with a lot of bullying.

No wonder I like horses. They even have delicate digestive systems like me.

Mabel certainly has her issues. She’s choked twice.

As I’ve learned more about horses and how they interact with humans, it’s become so clear that your intention, your mood, and your demeanor affect them. It’s made a huge difference with me and Apache, and I’ve seen it break down with Drew due to his issues — no amount of good intentions has broken through his pain.

I’m just not able to help him like he needs to be helped. Makes me sad.

Healing can take time, and a horse in pain has trouble trusting people. That’s how Mabel was at first. Gradually, with good nutrition and care, she’s become healthy. And her attitude has shifted as well. I didn’t realize quite how much until the last couple of weeks, when she’s become downright friendly. All the love I’ve tried to pour into her may have helped, too.

This friendly expression makes me so happy.

This afternoon, after feeding everyone, I spent time removing winter hair and any new burs from each horse who’d let me. The last horse I groomed was Mabel, who isn’t as fuzzy as Dusty or Apache, but needs de-winterizing. I noticed how nicely she stood still and let me spend time on her, even lowering her giant head and asking to have it rubbed (I didn’t touch her head for at least two years).

I finished up, opened the gate to her pen, and set the grooming bucket down to keep the gate from hitting her when she left. But she didn’t leave. With her ears forward and eyes bright, she lowered her head so I could massage her neck. I ended up just holding this animal who’s as tall as me at her shoulders in my arms with her leaning her neck on my shoulder and her head cradling me. Other horses walked by us, but she didn’t move.

I remained with her. We watched a rabbit flee from a Harrier, then watched the bird hunt all over our field, still calmly sharing love (or safety or whatever a horse would call it) with each other. It was the most peaceful time I’ve ever had with Mabel. Since I’d already exchanged hugs, love, and peace with Dusty and Apache, I was all full of endorphins.

It’s not always this way, but lately these animals have repaid me for my efforts with so much. It’s the way relationships should be, giving and taking love as needed. It helps to identify with the animals, perhaps.

A Little Success Lifts the Faltering Spirit

The past few months have been pretty heavy. There hasn’t been much to counterbalance the sad, scary, and stressful. I miss Goldie, I’m disappointed that Drew and I aren’t meshing well, I miss the routine of a job (after ONE day of “retirement”), and I worry that more bad things will happen to people I love. As I read today, we’re in the middle of “the troubles” we’ve been warned about for so long.

With that background, you can imagine I would be in the market for some potentially positive counterbalance! Sure, hanging out in nature helps. But I was pretty sure by this afternoon that I could use more.

Spotted Horse to the Rescue!

It had been a while since I’d had an Apache horsemanship lesson, thanks to Tarrin’s glamorous famous horse trainer adventures and my endless nature exploration. Today there was a lesson scheduled, which was good news.

Maybe good news for you, Suna. It means I have to work.

One of the many disappointments last week was that I had to cancel going to a friend’s arena to participate in the first horse show of the year, a “virtual show,” where you can be anywhere and just film yourself doing the show tests. The weather yesterday did NOT cooperate.

That meant more time for Apache to bury his head in burs and make his forelock look silly.

I figured that part of my show was not in the cards. But I heard that Tarrin had the show obstacles set up at her house, and asked if I could do the two parts of the show during my lesson. She said yes, so I groomed the heck out of Apache (who had decided it was a fun idea to roll his white body on fresh green grass) and packed up a shirt with a collar and a belt. Off we went to see how we could do in a more laid-back setting.

Heading off to the arena. He’s loaded down with equipment.

Lee came along, too, with the fancy camera. He was also drafted into filming. What a trooper.

This is my favorite of his pictures. I’m talking to Apache while holding an awkward object and he is giving side eye.

Imagine my surprise when Tarrin said we’d do all three parts of the show this afternoon. She had the dressage arena set up, too. Unfortunately, I’d barely studied the dressage test, thinking I wasn’t doing it. Oops.

Lee was filming during dressage, so enjoy this photo of one of the horses in training.

But guess what? It all went just fine. Even I could tell that Apache and I have both improved, though he was trotting like the RV going down a dirt road: bouncy. We did okay on dressage!

On the next part, I was very pleased with his stops and starts and his patience at the four obstacles involving picking up objects.

I was pleased with myself for managing to ride over a bridge, step him over a tractor tire, and do a slalom all while holding an awkward object. He even backed up appropriately and side passed over a poke! Major improvement there .

Sure, our gate opening leaves a lot to be desired, and he stopped during transitions on the barrel maneuver, but we can work on that! I was so proud of us.

Will we get a ribbon? I am not even worried about that. I’m just so pleased that we are improving that I don’t need to compare myself to anyone who’s on a different part of their journey with their horse. See, I learned another life lesson, one that makes shows much more fun.

Having a bit of hard-earned success with my horse is just what I needed to buoy my spirits. I’m feeling more hopeful that I’ll find ways to get by, keep up with horse lessons, and have positive counterbalances to the near-overwhelming doom and gloom.

Creatures of Habit, Bovine Edition

Now that my exciting software training/tech writing career has ended, I find myself bereft of a mission. I always have a project I’m working on to support users, but I’m out of those. I’m a creature of habit, so I feel compelled to find a project. But is it really a good idea to keep the projects coming?

Believe it or not, watching the cattle in the wooded area next to our house gave me an aha moment. Here’s what happened.

Lee and I went to Lowe’s to get some simple vegetables to put in his raised bed. We also bought two flowering trees, a peach and a pear (nope, not native, but, hey, they are Lee’s trees). When we got home, he drove the Gladiator over to the planting area and proceeded to plant.

Finished planting. Mostly herbs and peppers v

At one point, he booped his keys on the tailgate and that made the horn beep. If you’re rural, you’ll know what’s coming. A truck, something that looks like a feed trough, and a honking horn evokes the food urge in those neighboring creatures of habit, the cattle.

At first just a few adorable calves appeared. One in particular really enjoyed playing with Carlton and Penney. We were charmed.

I went off to feed the equine creatures of habit, who nicely line up in their pens for dinner and tolerate my insistence on grooming them in the late afternoon. Everyone, even Fiona, is now looking good, except around poor Droodles’s head. But I’m getting there!

By the time I came back, all the cattle were crowded against our fence, waiting for us to feed them. Carlton and Alfred valiantly worked to protect us, which really peeved a couple of huge mama cows and the bull. There was quite a cacophony.

The poor dogs got so tired that each of the white dogs went in the swimming pool to cool off.

It took sooo long for the cattle to move back into the pasture, probably because the real food truck appeared.

We will just wait until night if we have to. Moo.

It dawned on me that doing the same thing every time a circumstance looks familiar can lead to disappointment. The cattle didn’t notice that the Gladiator doesn’t usually feed them, or that the “trough” was full of plants. Poor dears.

We aren’t known for our massive intellects.

I need to realize that I don’t need to go find a significant writing project immediately. I’m starting something new, not the usual transition from resting training material in one application or another. I can do something different. There is time to figure out what the next new and fascinating thing will be.

In the meantime, I’m working on collecting some writing and putting it on my Substack, which you can go follow. Eventually, as soon as I let my thoughts come together in new ways, there will be more on Substack than new and recycled blog content about animals and birds.

Who knows? Once I break my habit I could turn interesting!

Keeping Up the Hard Work

You’re writing your autobiography. What’s your opening sentence?

My lifelong self-improvement project is still chugging along.

That’s what it feels like right now, it’s an endless parade with yet another effing growth opportunity coming to knock me back down so I get to show how much I’ve grown and how well I handle my extreme anxiety and self esteem challenges. Whee. Also, long sentences.

To top it all off, we have no power, thanks to a huge storm passing over us this morning. Great way to start my last week of employment.

Yesterday I wasn’t working but did meet with my boss for about eight minutes during which I heard how great I am and how much I have helped the organization. However, I’m too expensive. It sounded like a lot of contractors were getting the boot. I wasn’t surprised about this, so I have already cut spending, eliminated many payments, etc. I’m sensible.

Like the bluebonnets, my goal is to get through this spring.

I am also human, so once we got the RV packed and headed home, I allowed myself to wallow in self pity for a couple of hours. I must say it was less wallow-y than my usual. Since I quit my negative self talk for the most part, I didn’t have much to wallow about. So I sat in my birding chair and stared numbly into the distance.

The biggest challenge right now, other than the power outage that has stalled my initial goal of applying for Social Security and unemployment, is figuring out what I want to do next. I wish grooming and petting horses was a viable career path. Or walking through nature and explaining things to people, which is a real job, nature interpretation, but I have the wrong degrees. And I’d have to move, since I live in a desert when it comes to parks.

We can’t all be so lucky like this park Cardinal!

No need to suggest blogging for a living. I tried to monetize this blog and got $100 in a year and a half. That wasn’t worth subjecting readers to ads. I’m not exactly influencer material. That’s fine, by the way!

Whatever I do, even retirement, I want to help people and be a positive influence in the world. I’ll see what I can volunteer for.

And I’ll look at the nice flowers I got when we arrived home.

In the meantime, I could use a cup of coffee, but the powerful storms have done a number on the power here and it’s still out. Our outdoor cushions have tried to escape again. We weren’t prepared for this and didn’t put them away.

Send your productive working and volunteering ideas my way. I’ll be over here being resilient and working on the next chapter of my autobiography.

PS: power is back and I got coffee in my favorite mug. Off to achieve things.

The Hits Keep Coming

I don’t know what to do but laugh. This month has just been chock full of unpleasant stuff, but like one of those clown toys from when I was a kid, when I’m hit I just fall down and pop back up.

It the right image but the toy looks best up. Image from Pexels.

That’s new for me. I used to fall apart. Now I react, but deal with it better. The bad news isn’t everything in life, I realized at last. There’s always good, too. Here’s an example.

Yesterday I’d been thinking how proud of myself I was. I’d paid my credit cards down and could see them being all gone in a few weeks. Ha ha. Wishful thinking! I’d only get that feeling for a few hours.

I’d been looking forward to yesterday for a long time. My friend Lynn Hagan was receiving an award from Texas A&M, and she’d invited some friends to attend the reception and banquet. We had to wear nice clothes!

I went to pick up my friend Pamela, who defied all the odds and was not late. We were enjoying a trip down the back roads of Milam County, on our way to get Phyllis, when I got a phone call from the contracting company I work for. as I tried to navigate unfamiliar roads I was informed that Dell has decided to end my contract next week. I’m out of work!

I’m impressed by how well I handled the call. I’d had inklings something was up, though I won’t know for sure until I talk to my supervisor Monday. I’m more annoyed that they couldn’t wait until the contract ended so I’d have time to get Social Security set up (if I do get it…times are uncertain). But I’m just fine. I’ll wait to see what the story is there, and in the meantime I’ll see what’s out there. It will be okay.

I admit I was not feeling great as I drove to College Station, but I ended up meeting many fascinating people and making friends at the reception and meal. It felt so good to be in a room full of humanities and science majors! I miss being around people of my background sometimes, though I feel like an intellectual elite person when I say that. It was fun violently agreeing on many topics and making everyone feel welcome.

I’m glad we were able to go support Lynn as she got her huge framed award.

I couldn’t sleep last night but I did not lay there and blame myself for the job thing or panic about loss of income. I just couldn’t sleep.

But today I did just fine, got all animals at least partly groomed. Mabel kept asking to be brushed more. By the time she decided to leave, her mane was gleaming. And Fiona let me work on her, too. Yay.

Today we are at Inks Lake State Park, which is too crowded for me. But our friend Jen is here, too, which will make it fun to do bird stuff. I’m going to work on my resume and try not to kick myself for dyeing my hair ends purple. Makes me look eccentric.

Onward! It will be fine.