Ramblings – Page 26 – The Hermits' Rest

Should We Abandon the Leader Ship?

What makes a good leader?

I have thoughts on what makes a good leader. I’m afraid that my thoughts are really about what kind of leader I prefer, not who meets some objective criteria of “success.”

Goldie is a firm but fun leader of her pack.

If I need to be on a team or work group, I like to be led by someone who is more of a mentor and facilitates the folks they lead to do the best they can at their job, sport, or spiritual pursuit. They encourage and support, yet provide helpful criticism. They are also willing to do hard things like take responsibility for what the group does and make decisions like who to cut from the team, etc.

I try to be that kind of leader. I’ve had some success and some painful failures at leading volunteers and paid teams. What hurts me the most is when I try to protect my team from unpleasant stuff, but it doesn’t work out. I still feel bad for the LLLOnline team.

Currently I have no intention to lead anything, ever, again, even in a token role. I have abandoned the leader ship and am now a happy team member who has way too much input sometimes. I’m now secretary for two groups I once held more responsibilities in. I like that.

Anyway, I think good leaders show respect and spend more time helping their team do well than trying to get ahead, win, or take credit.

On the Home Front

The tack room at the ranch is getting a much-needed upgrade. We’ve limped along with tarp covering its ancient shingled roof, but the winds in recent days have shredded the latest tarp and blown off more shingles.

So the men of the house decided to replace the roof in a permanent way, with a lovely metal roof that matches the rest of the ranch buildings.

Of course, the weather has not helped much. Both days it’s been worked on have been bitterly cold, and today the gales were coming from the north again. I really felt for those guys slapping big sheets of metal around in that wind! I’m glad they brought in professional subcontractors to do a lot of the work.

I can’t wait to show you the finished product, but it will have to wait until I’m back home. We dragged the RV out to northeast Texas to camp on a big lake. I haven’t seen it yet, since we arrived late. I’ll talk about that tomorrow!

You Can’t Un-Invent War

If you could un-invent something, what would it be?

I saw this question and said, well, this is like going back in time and changing one thing, only to realize the consequences are horrible. Like the butterfly effect?

I first thought I’d un-invent guns. Then I thought that would be too complicated. What about hunting for food? But there are other ways to hunt. I don’t know. Maybe just un-invent automatic weapons and weapons of mass destruction.

Then I mused, well, we wouldn’t need those horrible things if there were no wars. If people lived together peacefully we’d not be fighting all the time.

We could just look at pretty horses. Ahh. I love watching Drew.

But people fight. It’s part of being human. And so much of civilization arose because of conflicts between groups of people. They lead to innovations, migrations, and of course heterozygous vigor. Maybe we’d be a very different species if it weren’t for these tendencies to want to eliminate “the other.” We aren’t alone. Other mammals, birds, insects, etc., do it.

People fight, and horses get annoyed. Drew is not pleased at how much work Tarrin made him do.

So. Screw it. I wouldn’t be able to make war not exist. And if our current weapons went away, we’d have something worse, or just go around poisoning each other. We may do that anyway, clever humans as we are.

I don’t like humans as a concept, I’m afraid. Or in real life, as a whole. I do like the urge to be kind, help each other, and create communities, which I hope is as strong as the urge to eliminate people unlike ourselves. We will see, maybe sooner rather than later.

My apologies that the blogs haven’t been very interesting this week. I’m lacking in writing inspiration. Tomorrow will be more interesting, I’m sure.

Drew had a hard afternoon. He was really scared by construction noise by the tack room when I tried to groom him. I ended up taking him to lessons early so he could relax a bit. It worked. He was only a little squirrelly for me, and Tarrin helped him stretch.

Daily Birds

It was a glorious and beautiful day today. Hard to believe it was 12° yesterday and 70° today. That’s Texas for you. I truly enjoyed standing in the woods surrounded by sparrows, chickadees, and titmice being their most cacophonous selves. Here’s to the tiny birds of the woodlands and their big voices!

The other bird is an intriguing mystery. Every time I go to Tarrin’s Merlin hears an Osprey. I don’t hear it, and I certainly haven’t seen it. I guess there are enough large ponds nearby to support one?

What I did see was this downy woodpecker.

Speaking of Love – and Hawks

Can you share a positive example of where you’ve felt loved?

Woo hoo. Today’s prompt goes with my day’s experience. So, let’s blog.

I’ve figured out that one of my “love languages” is the one about giving time and effort. When someone spends time doing something to make my life better, I feel love.

One example is how incredibly grateful and loved I felt when I came home from a trip expecting improvements to my horse area, but was blown away to see that two portable buildings we had were now a beautiful and large hen house with the interior painted “my” colors and a HUGE new tack room that would hold all my horse supplies and have a sitting area. I was blown away.

Note that they painted the hay storage container to match the building.

Every time I go in either of those buildings I have warm feelings about the two guys in my family who worked so hard on it. They were my son’s first two carpentry projects, so there are imperfections, but they’re charming to me. And I think of the stories behind how they got all the furnishings and built the saddle racks and pegs for halters, etc.

The other time I felt loved like this was when Lee gave me my bird journal. I couldn’t believe he’d spent so much time collecting bird photos then made the book by hand. I get to feel loved every day when I write in it!

He also made this cute book cover for the journal.

Love Birds of the Day

The highlight of my day today was all about love. After making many trips back and forth to the horse trough with water, I decided to go listen to birds for a while. Today got down to 12°F but then warmed up to 45°. That felt balmy!

You probably can’t tell, but the pond iced over.

As I headed towards the woods with my empty water containers, I saw movement. It was the pair of red-tailed hawks I’ve been watching for a few weeks. They were doing an awesome love dance. I was transfixed as I watched them soar and glide, then dive down near the ground and up through the trees.

The only photo I got of them flying. I was too busy watching most of the time.

It was so graceful yet strong. I felt privileged to get to see this up close. It was the closest I’ve ever been to flying hawks. They flew right past me a couple of times. At last, they rested in the trees for a bit.

They are both in this picture. One flying low in front of the trees, one higher, behind trees.

Then, off they went, flashing their wings at me. That made up for the hard work. I loved those love birds.

I made it a loop

PS: thanks to everyone who tells me they read my blog. I feel like the lady on Romper Room (a television show from my youth), who would look in her magic mirror and say, “I see Susie and Donny…” or whoever’s parents had sent her a postcard.

I see you, Mike, Donita, Lory, Libba, Catherine, Barbara, Debi…and so many more!

My Attachment to Objects Started Early

Describe an item you were incredibly attached to as a youth. What became of it?

I’ll answer this question about the first and second items I became attached to as a baby. I was one of those babies who had to have their beloved object with them at all times. I guess my attachment issues started early? Anyway, here’s me as a round baby with Hee Haw, whom I may have mentioned before.

I don’t think I owned clothing as a baby.

Hee Haw was a stuffed giraffe. I thought it was a horse. Mom told me horses said “Hee Haw” so there you go. I know Mom knew horses. But she liked what donkeys say better.

I’m told putting this toy in the laundry traumatized me, as did the time I dropped it in a store. Luckily it was found. By the time Hee Haw disintegrated I’d moved on to my next and final security objective, a literal security blanket.

I’m sure I have photos of Lovin’ Blanket, or LB as Mom called it, but none scanned. It originally was a quilted satin layette blanket with a lovely binding that Granny Kendall gave me. I held it as I went to sleep each night.

Like, I did that a long time. By the time I was in high school all the quilted satin was gone, and it was just an edge. It was all knotted up, and I draped it over my bedpost. It stayed there through college. I guess Dad gave it a dignified farewell when he moved to North Carolina after Mom died.

There. I got that tired old story out of my system.

Imagine dozens of white-crowned sparrows here.

I don’t have any exciting birds for today, so I’ll give you some pictures of my current fuzzy security item. Sara and I both agree that Apache has the greatest neck for hugging. He makes everything all better.

He is still a bit lame from the abscess. I keep treating him. Here is his bad hoof. Send healing thoughts!

There is redness but the vertical things are grass shadows.

You Mean I Have to Write a Mission Statement?

What is your mission?

Do I also have to have a vision? Argh. I’ve written so many mission and vision statements for institutions and organizations. I’d prefer not to do that again, thanks.

Mission statements have to have bullet points and be active! (From what I vaguely remember.) So:

Suna’s Mission is to:

Respect the Earth, yourself, and others
Be mindful
Maintain healthy boundaries
Be kind
Never stop learning

Today I spent some time learning about using my legs better on my beautiful young horse, Droodles (Drew). That fulfilled my mission of learning, respecting myself, and treating the animals in my care kindly, but with boundaries. And when riding a horse, you need to stay in the moment and be mindful. I guess that mission statement works.

He was ready to GO this afternoon! Good thing, because we got lots of exercise.

Drew’s “Christmas” present arrived so he got to wear his new halter and lead rope today. He’s looking good! Sometimes I still can’t believe I have a chance to be a part of my fantastic horses’ lives.

Apache is still a little lame, but getting around okay. I still can’t find where the abscess is, but I’m hoping he’s better soon. Finding that thing is my mission for him! He got a cinnamon colored halter and I hope to try it out tomorrow when I check him out.

Daily Bird

It was extra windy and pretty cold today, but I did my bird watching like a good scientist. The best thing I saw was the first thing, though. I got to enjoy watching the great blue heron chow down on a fish. it usually doesn’t come this close.

Later, after I checked the rain gauge, I saw it catch another one and I guess wrestle it to the ground. It kept poking at it. Maybe it was a crawfish.

Can We Live Long and Prosper?

What are your thoughts on the concept of living a very long life?

Today’s question has been on my mind lately since there have been a lot of deaths in my circle, and I’ve been a close observer of the stress, pain, and hard decisions loved ones have to go through.

One of our blog family lost her husband yesterday, which hits hard. But I’m glad she has the support of many close friends who’ve gone through this before, and she has supportive family. Sometimes, when no one you know has been through such a loss, you can feel so alone and lost, and it hits you so hard.

So, do we want to live very long lives? No matter when we pass away, we will leave sad people behind to treasure memories. I wish I had more of them with my mom, who died when I was 26. I coped poorly but was glad she was out of her mental and physical pain.

As long as I’m in reasonable health, can enjoy nature and my community, and am not a burden to others, I’d prefer to live a long life. I’m just curious about how we humans are going to handle things in the coming 30 or 40 years. And I’d love to continue contributing to society and becoming more wise.

Yet, if I were chronically ill with constant pain or costing my family so much that I was a financial burden, I’d have no problems with letting go. It would be interesting to see what’s next for the energy that brings me life.

I can honestly say that I empathize with anyone who decides they are “done” and don’t keep pushing forward in old age, and I can see not wanting to give up. And I have seen for myself how quickly you can go from fighting to dignified surrender when the time comes.

This made no sense, I’m afraid, but it helped me to write it. I do want to live long and prosper, though!

Love to all of you who are struggling. I am here for you if you need me.

What’s the Preferred Beverage of A**holes?

Wait. How do you define a**hole, Suna? Good question, Imaginary Reader!

I define it as someone who can’t wait to get home, where surely there’s a rubbish receptacle, to dispose of beverage containers, instead preferring to toss those containers gaily out of the window of their pickup truck along rural roads.

I wish Red Bull had given this can wings and flown it back in the vehicle.

I’m sure they think the cattle and horses will enjoy stomping on their cans and bottles, and the folks who mow the roadside (often their neighbors) don’t mind damage to their mower blades. No, no. I doubt there’s much thinking involved.

Heck, no one wants to inconvenience a rural jerk. It’s good exercise going down the road picking that stuff up. I should be grateful. But I’m not.

Mmm. Mow this and excellent sharp edges will magically appear.

In the last few weeks I’ve seen so many cans and bottles that I decided to document what my thoughtless neighbors deposited along Milam County Road 140 near Walkers Creek.

I can say that liquor is favored over water, energy drinks, or coffee, the other beverages I found. Oddly, there was only one soda can. Pibb.

There were two miniature Fireball bottles, but everything else was beer.

I’d have been more impressed by Hot Damn.

And I’m obligated to share that the most favorite beer of a**holes who are driving down my road with open containers of liquor is…

Congratulations to the folks at Budweiser! You encourage dangerous and thoughtless behavior in our area more than any other company! And congratulations to the runner up, Natural Light.

I’m glad the drinking and driving crowd are watching their weight. Not really.

The thing is that people drive down these roads hauling children, valuable livestock, and expensive farm equipment. The roads are narrow, poorly lit, and full of wildlife (a beautiful coyote crossed the road in front of us yesterday). It’s hard enough to drive safely sober. And that’s why I call the people who litter with their liquor containers bad names.

Now, I just posted that we should love our neighbors, with no exceptions. It’s true. I care about everyone out here and want them alive and their families safe. I don’t want to read their obituaries.

Daily Bird

There were a lot to choose from today, because I went up to the cemetery and back. I know I’ve probably chosen these before, but the red-shouldered hawks I saw up close made me very happy.

I also enjoyed a tree full of vultures drying off, a great egret with a duck, some bluebirds, and lots of sparrows and pipits.

I watched a downy woodpecker for a long time and saw an owl fly into a tree, but I couldn’t even get one of my blurry photos of them.

Instead, here’s Droodles looking majestic.

The birds made me feel better about all the litter. I’ll bring a trash bag one day next week.

This Is My Billboard

If you had a freeway billboard, what would it say?

Love your neighbor.
No exceptions.
Suna

That’s my message. Maybe it’s a good one to counter the effects of today being Insurrection Day, the day I realized the country where I live is not going to last much longer.

But live in the moment. And love your neighbor anyway.

Thinking about…Right Now

Do you spend more time thinking about the future or the past? Why?

This is another trick question. I’m doing my best to stop myself if I start dwelling on the past (except good memories!). And I don’t think it’s healthy to do what I call pre-worrying about what might happen if circumstances go in ways we would like to avoid. That leads people like me to worse anxiety or even ulcers.

This chain got up on the gate thanks to worrying about future dog escapes. The big dogs could climb it.

I think one of the most helpful things I’ve learned from studying Buddhism is the idea of living in the moment. The more I do this, the more content I am in my life and the more joy I can find.

A part of the past I do like to think about is when this cute kitchen was built. We want to preserve it in our renovation. Retro chic.

No one can prevent thinking about the past and future all the time. What I try to do is see what can be learned from past events, and I try to figure out what I can control or affect positively in the future. I learned that from my spouse’s study of Stoicism. It’s made a huge difference for both of us.

Daily Birds

Today was wet and chilly. In the morning there were mostly the usual birds. But it was so quiet that I could hear wing flaps from vultures flying over. Merlin identified three birds that were surprising because we aren’t in their range: Swainson’s thrush, Black-capped chickadee, and Western wood pewee. Maybe the storms brought them over. Or maybe there was a software glitch. The chickadees look really similar but have different calls, so you’d think that would be right. It’s a mystery.

I turned the app on in the late afternoon to see if there were any different birds, and sure enough, there were two ducks, the common mallard and blue-winged teal. I’m hearing lots more ducks and geese this year!

A Gift of Mutual Acceptance

What is the greatest gift someone could give you?

The gift I want most in the world would be to repair my relationship with my older son and come to some kind of mutual acceptance of each other, just as we are. Understanding of perceived mistakes or failings on each of our parts is something we could do. I’d be willing to try. Anyone willing to help bring us back together would receive my eternal gratitude.

Foggy morning leads to melancholic musings

Well, that’s not something I foresee happening after five years. So I’ll add that the greatest gifts I do receive are friendship and acceptance. I think we all would like to feel accepted and like we fit in. I treasure my community of kind and open hearted friends who accept each other, warts and all.

Online friends count, too. So many of us would feel very isolated if it weren’t for our friends who are connected on social media, on video chats, and in blogs. Social media is NOT all bad.

Daily Bird

Well, there weren’t many birds out today, because it was so foggy and cold.

The highlight today was the reappearance of one of my favorites, the barred owl. I’ve read that barred owls and great horned owls don’t like to live together, so I was happy to hear one this morning. Hooray!