This Thing Called Life

Dearly beloved…and I’ll end my Prince quote here. I’ve been thinking about life, whatever it is, exactly. What a privilege it is to interact with our environment in these bodies, with these senses, hormones, and sentience.

These colors are incredible, even if we don’t all see the same.

Whatever it means to be alive is a mystery, which we humans have come up with many ideologies, myths, belief systems, and science to try to explain. I’m one of those humans who think there is something we can’t perceive or comprehend that keeps our illusion of life, time, physics, and all that together. I’m not even sure that all life perceives the same things, not even individuals of the same species.

That’s right. No two calves are alike, either.

So, here we all are wandering around perceiving and judging, harboring the illusion that everyone else is living in the same “world” that we are. I contend that we’re wrong about that. I’m not positive that even folks we agree with are perceiving what we think we are.

I perceive this to be a Mockingbird. But that’s just me.

It’s no wonder, then, that we keep hearing the same things said about members of our fractured culture in opposing “sides.” And they are sincerely baffled about why those “sheep” have “drunk the Kool Aid” and need to “wake up.”

I’m not a sheep but I’m very fuzzy.

Depending on how your brain chemistry is set up, you might see liberals, conservatives, Marxists, Greens, or Libertarians as making sense and everyone else is an idiot. Or worse. I’m so tired of this shit and how it’s affecting all life on this planet.

Perhaps this is why Lee dragged me out of the house to enjoy a burger and a flight of wine (and Brussels sprouts).

It’s making it harder and harder to keep placing one foot in front of the other and appreciate this amazing gift of LIFE, even though I’m going along with the Buddha in positing it’s an illusion.

Illusion of an elusive Vesper Sparrow.

The big illusion that I, and many of my generation, allowed ourselves to believe was that history was arcing toward peace, equality, and freedom to be and believe however we see fit and that we were all working towards these goals. I was pretty wrong about that!

But nonetheless, life is precious and I want to appreciate the opportunity to live as long as I’m allowed to. In this life I’m going to love deeply, cherish the planet and its inhabitants, and learn as much as I can, even though it may be unpleasant much of the time.

Hey, sometimes there’s humor! Like a cyber truck actually being used as a truck.

Mostly, I will accept with grace that a good portion of the people I share the world with want me eliminated. Yeah. People in my town who carry cards saying “Spay or Neuter Your Democrat” or post signs in their yard saying they have PTSD: Pretty Tired of Stupid Democrats.

You can get the shirt on Amazon. But don’t, for many reasons (and I’m sure there are offensive shirts with opposing views; this is an example.)

Stuff like that is why I do not intend to engage in tit for tat with these folks. We live in different worlds, and they live in different worlds from many people of similar ideologies.

I’m glad some of our worlds overlap a bit. Not everyone who voted differently from you or practices a different religion is an extremist. So many of us just want to have an enjoyable life. Somehow.

Raising a Complaint?

What do you complain about the most?

I try not to complain, but I do it. Someone who has to live with me might have a different answer, but my assertion is that I complain most about the dogs barking and running outside at the slightest noise when I’m trying to watch television. It is so loud. At least now that we stream, it’s possible to pause.

When not barking all night, Goldie is cute.

Okay, I asked Lee and he said I complain most about the new occupant of the White House. He claims he complains most about the same guy I complain about, and also the death of customer service. I like that answer.

Alfred is Barker in Chief.

What I can’t complain about is Connie Gobbler. She’s all grown up now, I guess, because she laid her first egg today! And it does look like it has the measles!

Interesting pattern.

Of course I sent a picture to Heather, who gave her to me, and to her namesake, Connie. The egg is no bigger than Cindy-Cathy’s eggs, but future eggs should be bigger.

I’m not complaining about the weather, either. We got an inch of rain, and I can tell the ponds are more full. We still need more, though.

Rain remnants

It’s Driving Me Bonkers

But I have help staying sane. See below.

I’ve been reading more different social media sites lately. I’m learning a lot, much of it not about political perspectives.

I read a lot of science and nature stuff, too.

The thing is, whenever someone says something good, others (some of whom I suspect aren’t real people) re-post it so many times that it’s quickly becoming pretty boring. I’m not immune to this. I probably re-post a couple of juicy bits of prose (long or short, depending on the site) a day. But I often see a dozen re-posts by the same account all in a row. Then someone else shares the same things.

Like, how many sunset photos will I share?

It’s good to share, but it’s even better, to me, to read original content and new perspectives. That’s one reason I persist in sharing my thoughts on social media. I hope it occasionally gives someone a new perspective, comfort, or a laugh. I’d love to see more of that on these platforms, actual thoughts and opinions of thoughtful people (see what I did there? It’s gotta be thoughtful).

Three. I will share three sunset photos.

I miss the days when Facebook showed me how my friends and family are doing, how cute their pets are, and how the weather is in their area. Some still do share, and I am full of appreciation. And with many going to other platforms, I’m putting out a plea: please share your own ideas, insights, photos or writings, not just the same stuff everyone else shares.

Speaking of pets, here’s Harvey, chugging along despite the liver issues.

The repetition is getting to me! Don’t let me go bonkers. Whatever that means.

Luckily, I have real life friends who I can talk to, share my fears and worries with, and provide support for. I’m so grateful to you all. I’m also glad to have friends in my social media private groups who I can hear from, learn from, and support from afar. And I have some super family members to rely on as well (even if they’re snowed in).

Oh, and there’s Ada, the Finch birb. She supports me from her snow camp, and my friends in the app help, too. Lots of hugging happens.

So let’s get out there are communicate with each other! Be original! You are ALL interesting!

Timely Political Question

How have your political views changed over time?

My political views haven’t changed much, though as I learn new information, there have been slight moves one way or another. My basic point of view is that I’d like everyone to have meaningful work, live somewhere safe and comfortable, and to be their authentic selves. I want people to be free from violence and to practice whatever spiritual path is meaningful in their culture. Old hippie me.

Proof of old hippie status.

Over the years I’ve grown less fond of wars and bigotry, though I didn’t like them from the start. I have, however, come to respect the rights of people who want to live differently from me. I just can’t figure out how those of us who want to eliminate other religions or political groups can live with the people who don’t. It’s that paradox of tolerance everyone was talking about not too long ago.

Makes me want to fly away, like this guy.

Since I’ve always enjoyed meeting people from different places, cultures, and backgrounds, I know that everyone believes they are correct, and I think it’s worthwhile to take the perspective of people who differ from me. That’s been my focus lately. So, my political views have not shifted much, I am gaining insight into how people come to such radically different conclusions from me.

Or I could move far south like these Sandhill Cranes. They’re running late.

Currently I’m figuring out what will keep me relatively stable as I observe how the USA and other countries handle things. I’ll continue to do what I actually can do to help when I can.

Laughing at this guy helps. He’s chowing down on the food he’d rejected two minutes earlier, after realizing another horse wanted it. All that cantering works up an appetite.

Anyway, the weather has been weird, hot to cold rain to sunny to calm to windy. We lucked out and missed the latest round of unseasonable tornadoes. It feels like I’m living in science fiction from my childhood.

The dogs did not like the weather.

The Rural Internet Dilemma

It’s real. It’s a problem. The solution requires hard choices. Yes, if you need reliable high-speed internet and you don’t live near a major metropolitan area, your options are very limited.

We live near horses, not houses.

It sounds so lovely to work from home at your lakeside cabin, your mountain retreat, or your horse farm in a sparsely populated area tantalizingly close to “real” towns (me). But when you’re watching that little ball go around and around while you’re trying to do a demo, or your download says it will take 36 hours, the romance fades.

Well at least that would take a while. image from Pexels.

It’s a choice to live here, and we knew it would not be easy. We’ve had some good years—I had a wired option from AT&T that worked fine until it broke and I was informed they no longer sold them. Using hotspots was okay, but Zoom ate up our allotted bandwidth very quickly.

So I got this satellite setup from Viasat. It does work, unless it’s raining. But it, too, had limits and would slow to a crawl. Honest. All I do is 2-3 hours of meetings everyday; otherwise not heavy use. We didn’t even dare stream television, to save the fast speeds for work.

For that reason, we had DirectTV satellite television. I’m not going to go over that fiasco again. After waiting weeks to get it fixed, it stopped working. Then the dish fell down. It’s canceled as of last week.

Actual dead dish.

We started streaming for television when I found an unlimited plan on Viasat. All was well other than the slowdowns. They were infuriating. And this stuff isn’t cheap. And we checked all possible systems, but we have a hill nearby and it blocked the solution most folks I know use. Sigh. Much time has been spent on research, which I don’t particularly enjoy.

Spiders build webs faster than I can download a PowerPoint deck.

There was one final option. We just didn’t want to do it. For one thing, it started out very expensive. For another, we are not fond of the owner of the company that provided this really good service we can even take camping with us.

This is it.

It’s a dilemma! StarLink works. It’s less expensive now. Everyone I know who has it loves it. But. But. I’ve NEVER been a fan of Elon Musk. I didn’t like him years before he became the next US President’s puppet master. And one of the few ways you can show your disapproval of the practices of corporations is to not buy their stuff. (There are some companies whose treatment of LGBTIA people or religious discrimination means they do not get my dollars.)

Lee finally made the decision to get the StarLink system. We will cut a lot of expenses, even with streaming subscriptions. And we can have entertainment while traveling when there’s bad weather and we don’t want to be outside.

And the sun sets on that decision.

But I’m torn, ethically. This is one of those times where there’s no “best” thing to do. We will have to deal with the bad karma we’re generating, I guess!

Hugs All Around

It’s a hard day in the USA, so I’m sending hugs it to all. Let’s send peaceful energy out to our country even if we disagree with what happens. We’re still all family.

My “sisters”

Love is what we need, and what I experienced today. I found a little clump of trees chock full of beautiful birds this morning. The woodpeckers were everywhere.

Maybe my best bird photo ever. Red-bellied Woodpecker.

I’m not going to go on and on about birds. It’s killing my blog stats, but they do bring me comfort. There were lots of them today, in between doing things to distract myself. Thank goodness for my relatives and their willingness to drive me all over the place! At our late lunch at Hudson’s I had a divine crab cake and the best potato salad ever. I saw lovely herons and of course, gulls.

Then we went to the nature preserve I love to visit. They’ve done a lot there since last year, but the rugged beauty was also there. I got lots of ideas for the Wild Wings Bird Sanctuary to share with our committee. And it was beautiful near sunset.

We went to “second dinner” because we didn’t want to go back to our rooms. This was at the Fish Camp restaurant next to the beautiful dock overlooking the Broad Creek. We got Old Fashioneds, appetizers and bread pudding. I, of course, went to the beautiful dock and looked for birds, the best of which was a very vocal Clapper Rail. I do love a good marsh at low tide!

Mostly, though the three of us women enjoyed each other’s company, telling stories about our parents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. We are resilient, we determined. It was a beautiful night, and that just added to the fun.

I’m gonna read magazines and check the news later. I feel safe and grounded for now, because I feel the love of my family and friends.

Nature stands by us.

Comforting Conversations

This is probably not an stress-free weekend, even if you’re doing your best to live in the moment and enjoy the present. However, I’ve had a few conversations with friends and strangers that have helped me remember the good and hope in the world.

Lovely ofrenda in the Austin airport. Southwest Airlines does good stuff.

Yesterday started with a talk with a friend who’s a philanthropist, social worker, and former Red Cross volunteer. She’s very concerned about the immediate future. I hope by sharing some of the hopeful things I’ve heard, I helped a bit.

In the early afternoon, Doc Shenkman, my undergrad professor called. He had some opinions on current events to share. I had to smile as I realized he has not lost his passion for politics, social justice, and the importance of good law enforcement.

Reflecting on how his long rant reflected my own views reminded me that while my parents provided some guidance when I was young, it was long Friday night conversations over very bad but very cheap beer ($1.25 a pitcher) helped shape my values, morals, and philosophical orientation for the rest of my life. (I also learned many German drinking songs, because the German club sat next to us.)

The University of Florida had an honors undergraduate curriculum when I was there. We had tenured professors for all our required courses. Thank goodness for those generous souls who taught us to understand literature, the human, and social sciences. I got a real humanities education that I’ve used my whole life. Anyway, I’m lucky to still be friends with Doc, after all these years.

We are under the same sun.

Later, after hugging all the dogs and horses, Lee drove me to the airport. During that trip I continued a text conversation with two former coworkers who are now trusted friends. we each have our reasons to worry about the future, as one of us has a trans family member, one is a gay man, and one is a mother of a teenage girl. It was comforting to talk to each other about our thoughts and experiences during challenging times. It’s good to know you aren’t alone and can both support and be supported right now.

And today at the Austin airport I saw a man wearing a Lincoln Project sweatshirt. I went up to him and gushed about how much we love their work, especially Lee. The man said he gets a lot of that, including people who whisper their support, like they’re behind enemy lines in World War II. He and his young grandson were heading to Charlotte to work at a rally today. The kid was not as impressed as I was that he’d get to meet Jon Bon Jovi, but at least he was excited to meet the Vice President.

I showed him my secret signs of allegiance

The man talked to me a bit about his journey from Bush, to Perot to Obama, which fascinated me. He kept his same convictions but changed to leaders he thought supported them better. Wow.

We’re all under the same sky.

So I’m feeling okay as I head to South Carolina wearing my mask so I won’t get Covid again. It wasn’t planned that I’d be elsewhere during the Presidential election, but at least this way Lee can watch coverage all day and night and I won’t have to.

Remember. My friendship and love remain even if we disagree. I want the best for us all.

I Hope We Can Learn from History

What major historical events do you remember?

I’m not ancient, but I was born in scary times. I remember the nightmares I had after the “duck and cover” drills that would not have saved my elementary school friends from an atomic bomb.

I remember the President getting assassinated and watching his funeral on black-and-white television. I liked the white horses.

I remember Walter Cronkite solemnly reciting war casualties and my parents’ friends crying over their young sons forced to be in that war.

You wonder why I’m a pacifist?

I remember some years of hope, when I thought people were getting less racist, women were getting the same rights as men, and my gay friends were able to come out of the closet.

I was on a plane when the 9/11 horrors happened.

I noticed when Vladimir Putin was elected and quickly became dictator. It reminded of a time before my birth when a candidate in Germany stirred up the disaffected and angry populace to win his race, then immediately put his opponents in concentration camps. Then came the immigrants, the gays, the non-Christians.

I hope I won’t remember a time when history repeats itself. Again. More scary times.

We’ll see. Two weeks from now a choice will be made. Pray for peace and that cool heads prevail.

A Risk I’m Wishing I Could Take

What’s the biggest risk you’d like to take — but haven’t been able to?

I did take a risk today, but I’ll get to that later. One I wish I could take is to go live somewhere I’d feel more comfortable. Every time I think about it I come back around to the sad truth that there is no Sunaland. Anywhere.

The coast of Sunaland, a mythical location. Photo from Pexels.

We keep thinking of different parts of the US. Last night it was somewhere in Central Pennsylvania. Earlier it was Wisconsin. Or whatever. Always too expensive, too far from medical facilities, blah blah.

This part of Pennsylvania. Yes.

Other countries? Sure. Ireland, Wales, or Sweden! But would they want us? They mainly want very wealthy people. I’m not sure we’re that. I want to live somewhere pretty rugged and in a small community. I’m just not brave enough to leave this place. I guess I’m settled where I am, even if I sometimes feel out of place.

Ideal.

Anyway, I was brave and took the risk of moving the horses to the field in front of the house. It still has some reasonable grass, which I thought they’d like.

Well, they liked the water trough we put in a lot. I’ve already had to refill it, due to splashing and slurping. Mabel and Drew like to splash.

There are LOTS of giant cocklebur plants in that field, and lots of woodland creatures to spook them. I hope they find the trees to be a good place to sleep. If they seem upset, I’ll put them back after my lesson tomorrow and give them a round bale of hay to eat.

We’re hiding in the brush.

It may just take a while to settle in. Horses aren’t fond of change.

Dusty, however, is quite fond of his own reflection.

Everyone here is tired because we had a guest last night, then people came to fix the bedroom slide in Seneca the motorhome, then much horse drama.

Motorhome repair time.

After all that, Lee and I voted, picking the perfect time when it wasn’t too crowded. I’m glad we got that done. It was fun to just skip uncontested contests where I dislike the candidate. By 2:30 over 300 people had voted in our town!

My hair sure looks yellow.

Goldie is pooped and so are the others! I must admit that I’m tired and peopled out myself!

Too Sick to Be Excited

Tell us about the last thing you got excited about.

This has never happened to me. I don’t get sick often, but after sneezing and blowing my nose all day yesterday and thinking I had allergies, I realized I was actually ill during the night when I got that “feeling” you get when a virus has attacked. Argh. Being sick all alone away from home is pretty awful!

Wish I could bee (fly) well.

So rather than a nice hike, I took the condo van to the grocery store/drug store and got allergy tablets, cold/flu medicine and a Covid test. Plus fruit. That’s good for you. Thankfully, the Covid test was negative. I’ll do another one tomorrow.

Yay. Negative.

I managed to work on a project, then dragged myself to the French bakery, because I was feeling sorry for myself. I got big ole croissants.

This almond croissant was huge.

After napping, the DayQuil kicked in, and I went for a gentle, slow walk down some minor ski paths.

It made me feel a bit better, but after that, I could do nothing but easy blogging and staring at Cesar Milan, who needs to come over and make our dogs calm and quiet.

Yes, there was a donkey on Cesar Milan.

Okay, I’ve gone far enough down the post to tell you the last thing that made me excited. It was Michelle Obama’s speech at the Democratic National Convention. Even Anderson Cooper said it was the best speech he ever heard.

The only picture I took was Oprah.

I was very excited by certain messages I heard at that convention. I liked that speakers encouraged us to all listen to each other, and that Harris promised to be President for all Americans. That was refreshing. There was some pointed comments, but there wasn’t name-calling, meanness, or blatant lying (I’m aware that both sides exaggerate).

We shall see what happens. In the meantime, remember our wild friends.

So yeah, I got excited and feel slightly less despondent about the future.